The Commercial Break - Say No-No To Day-Blow

Episode Date: March 29, 2024

Bryan’s dad senses are tingling, and he’s got some life lessons to deal out. It’s festival season in Atlanta He is Moon Taxi Old people were raging Bryan’s father instincts kick in You ca...n always tell who’s dealing Day blow/night blow Costco & the extra fridge Bryan won’t buy meat at Costco Eating at Costco Hot dogs every damn day We’re on a food theme Mcdonalds is in the real estate game Krispy Kreme in Mcdonalds Simple syrup milkshakes LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This NBA season, make every three-pointer alley-oop and buzzer-beater even more exciting with FanDuel. Download the app today to see why we're North America's number one sportsbook. 19-plus and physically located in Ontario. Gamling Tom, call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. I have a special talent I want to share with you. I'm a turkey gobbling champion. On this episode of the Commercial Break. He wouldn't show up till 9.45 because Dee knew that if I got it too early, then I'd
Starting point is 00:00:39 just be calling him all day long. He didn't want to bother with it. No. He knew how things work. He knew how things work. I know how things work. He knew how things work. I know how things work. You know how things work.
Starting point is 00:00:47 But these youth of today, the youth, the youths don't know yet. They're following some bald guy with a neck tattoo around looking for tableau. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, Kazza Kiddens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is our friendly foot fetish finder, Kristin Joy Hodley. Best to you, Kristin. Best to you, Brian.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. You're welcome. Oh, hey. Oh, you're there. Hey. Hi. Hi.
Starting point is 00:01:24 Hi. Uh, had an interesting weekend? Yes, you're there! Hey! Hi! Hi! Hi! Had an interesting weekend. Yes, you did, it sounds like. I did, yes. I broke free. I broke loose of the chains that bind me, Chrissy. You got out into the world.
Starting point is 00:01:36 For all, yes, for 190 minutes, I was free! Whee! I, you know, it's festival season for everybody, I'm sure, but for here in Atlanta, there's we have, if you've never been to Atlanta, Atlanta is a bunch of disparate little townships and areas that all have their own flavor and style. And I'm sure not unlike a lot of other big cities, right? But in Atlanta, it really is pockmarked by all these little, you know, pockets of coolness or interesting things that they're known for.
Starting point is 00:02:10 And so everyone has their own festivals. Everyone. There's like 300 different festivals going on at any given time in the city of Atlanta during the springtime. And all of them have started to up their game. It used to be that you'd have like, you know, a Jason Farton knife set while you were drinking some shitty swill that the local brewery put together, right? But now they've all upped their game. They've got budgets. They're taking tax dollars, big tax dollars, to get these kind of, I don't want to call them has-been acts, but let's call them-
Starting point is 00:02:38 Beth Dombkowski Legacy. Beth Dombkowski Legacy acts. Yes, thank you. That's a nice way of saying way past their prime acts legacy acts. Yes, thank you. That's a nice way of saying way past their prime acts that cater to a certain age group. And that age group is my age group. It's guys and girls with kids, right? So, they figure out, bring the kids on down, we'll throw a little carnival where your little one can break its neck and be, you know, life flighted to the local hospital. We'll have some local swill there that you can drink, probably warm. We'll probably run out of it halfway through the day, and then you'll have to, you know, bring your own booze. And then we'll put a big stage out there in the middle of the field and we'll throw some act in there that, you know, tickles
Starting point is 00:03:13 your nostalgic fancy. Exactly. So the first of those that I intend to attend, I intend to attend, was the big cherry blossom festival here in Atlanta. Right, right. That's a big one. Yeah, I don't know if it's a big one. It's a one. And I don't know if this part of Atlanta is known for cherry blossoms or what the fuck. I see them all over the place. I see them all over the place too, but that doesn't make this particular part of town
Starting point is 00:03:37 have a corner in the market on cherry blossoms. What the fuck is going on? Anyway, okay. So cherry blossom, get the line up. Were the cherry blossoms in bloom? I didn on? Anyway, okay, so cherry blossom, get the line up. For the cherry blossoms in bloom? I didn't see a fucking cherry blossom anywhere. It was freezing cold, wind whipping down my dick.
Starting point is 00:03:50 I mean, it was like really, it was not, the sun was out. It looked like a pretty day, but it didn't feel like a pretty day. It was one of those off days for the second Atlanta fake spring that we're going through right now. Well, and part of that is that there was a huge snowstorm up north.
Starting point is 00:04:07 Oh yeah, I heard about that. Yeah, like Minneapolis got eight inches. I know, and then- Over the weekend. It's crazy. Yeah. The weather is just nuts, but I think the weather has always been nuts.
Starting point is 00:04:17 I just get older and it's something that I like to fascinate about. Right. You know, when I was young, I didn't have time to think about the weather because I had other things on my mind, like, you know, chasing girls or doing drugs or, you know, avoiding police detection or something like that.
Starting point is 00:04:30 But now that I'm older, I sit around and talk about the weather. Oh, it's crazy, this weather. I'm so old. This weather is crazy. Look at this. It's freezing my tentacles off here. Weather Channel, weather.com said it was gonna be 67 degrees it's not a bit over 65 what the fuck is going on weather is a
Starting point is 00:04:52 fortune-telling venture and anybody that tells you different is full of fucking shit it's better than it used to be as far as prediction is concerned but it's not good I don't know how many times I checked that fucking weather.com and the weather is the exact opposite of whatever it says. Sunny in 77, raining in 52. I swear to God, every time. Anyway, so is one of those days. It's an off day, it's a little chilly, it's very windy, but there are throngs of people that are out because everyone's just, you know, spring is kind of-ish here, so everyone's out there with their kids. Beautiful Saturday. Beautiful Saturday. So get who is playing, get the line up here. You ready? Sister Hazel, one song I even can pretend to remember. I'm found to say what it is I see in your... That's Sister Hazel.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Bare naked ladies, chippity-chuck to the chip-chick-chicken, take a drumstick and you're stop-stop-licking, doing stuff with your pants on, you got no pants on, and you're like, whatever, you know. The band I went on tour with one time. Don't know a fucking song. Didn't care then, don't care now. I wasn't in it for the music, guys. I was in it for the coca-ina.
Starting point is 00:06:04 All right. So then they got Moon Taxi. I wasn't in it for the music guys, I was in it for the cocaina. All right, so then they got Moon Taxi. Moon Taxi, our old friends. And we know how the Moon Taxi roll. I was looking for the trailer where I could go back and get the free beer, but it was behind some security guards. And tell those people that you're in Moon Taxi. Well, you know, so I'm with my brothers, right?
Starting point is 00:06:21 And I, Kevin, I go, we're right across the street from where my brother lives. And so we meet there beforehand and we're all just sitting there hanging out. And I go, who's playing right now? Cause I can hear like the bass, you know, I'm like, who's playing right now? And my other brother goes, oh, moon taxi. And I go, moon taxi. That's fucking crazy. Does I ever tell you my moon taxi story? Kevin looks at me and he goes, you know, the great part about being your brother is, I get to hear the story four times from your mouth and another time from your podcast.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Yes, I know the moon fucking taxi story. Don't tell it again, asshole. Okay, so moon taxi story is went to Bonnaroo, went in their trailer, thought I was with a production. Jeff told me to go say you're with moon taxi. And I thought, okay, great. Yeah, that was another part of the festival. So I walked into the Moon Taxi trailer, stole their beer, and the Moon Taxi guys just let me in to do it. They thought you were funny. Yeah, they thought I was ballsy. They were like, wow, look at this drunk kid coming in here
Starting point is 00:07:16 swinging dick with that VIP pass, that backstage pass, going, I'm with Moon Taxi. I am Moon Taxi. I'm the Moon Taxi. Here I am, showing up to give you guys a ride to the Moon. So anyway, so Moon Taxi is playing. So we get there, we get there toward the end of the set, can't hear a fucking thing. It's like, but there are thousands and thousands of people there. And the young crowd is way up front. The crowd gets older as you get backwards. You know what I'm saying? Way up front, young crowd or people who are really into moon taxi for whatever reason. Middle of the crowd, the 20-somethings, the college kids, right, who are singing along with the moon taxi songs. As you get to the third part of the crowd,
Starting point is 00:07:59 there's like a mix of younger and not so young folks. And then you get to where I'm standing and it's all families and old people, guys and girls who are way past their prime, but they are hitting it fucking hard, totally. The smell of marijuana is in the air. I can see many different handoffs going on, handoff, handoff, handoff. And I mean by handoff. I mean, they're not passing like, you know, pieces of paper in class. They're passing cocaine, basically, is what they're doing. Heather Kieskamp Everybody was ready to rage. Jared Ranere Everybody was ready to rage. That's right. Just north of Atlanta is like downtown London. It's full of white people and cocaine. Okay? That's
Starting point is 00:08:40 the way it is. And so, they're like, it's just like me, I've got 190 minutes before I got to be back with my kids. Give me the cocaine. And I'm thinking to myself, and at one point, I think someone may have been offering me cocaine. And I was like, you got to be out of your fucking mind if you think I'm going to day blow. I'm not doing day blow. There's no day blow. Just say no, no to day blow. That's right. Just say no to day blow. There's no day blow. Just say no, no to day blow. That's right. Just say no to day blow. Listen, day blow is for the professionals. Do not leave this to the amateurs or the kids at home because I'm telling you what right
Starting point is 00:09:16 now, if you're going to do day blow, you have to be enclosed in an area where you can not hear anything else, no outside forces, no one's going to knock on your door, the police aren't going to blow their siren. You have to be really basically in an underground bunker to do day blow where you think it's night. A casino, that's a good place to do day blow because you don't know if it's day or night. Day blow is for serious people doing serious things and getting fucked up beyond recognition because if you do day blow, Chrissy, there is no stopping.
Starting point is 00:09:48 No, that's a, yeah, you're in, you're committed. You are way committed. How do you stop doing coke at six in the afternoon? How do you do that? I don't know. I never did that. I never had this willpower to stop doing blow at six. I knew people who did, I knew people who would take like a key bump like, you know, two little bumps and then they would never come back and ask for more. And I'd be like, where did those people, where did they go? What brain do they have? How do they live as human beings? Why can't I have that same thing in me? Because if I start doing blow at three o'clock in the afternoon to see fucking moon taxi or bare naked ladies, I can promise you by, if I started 330 by 345,
Starting point is 00:10:26 I'm going to be locked up in my bedroom calling Dee. Hey, Dee. Hey, Dee, could you make a delivery? Dayblow is for professionals and all these people running around. So we're standing there, you know, just, I'm trying to like, you know, kind of move a little bit. Like I'm not, you know, I don't know if fucking, yeah, I'm doing the dad dance. I'm like moving my butt back and forth, left and right with my arms crossed, you know, like don't fuck with me. But my booty's shaking. I still got it. I still got it. So I'm standing there and people, it's so crowded, so, so crowded. People are just walking all, you know, we got a little blanket there set up, but people are just walking all over it and knocking people over. You know, the brood fuckers who don't know how to walk through an actual crowd.
Starting point is 00:11:17 With the blankets, yeah. With the blankets. They have no idea. They just step on you, they step over you, they push you out of the way. It really gets my goat, actually. Like there's a path somewhere. It's just not on top of my blanket. Can you please go find that path?
Starting point is 00:11:29 Yeah, you can usually maneuver around it. That's right. So at one point I kind of get knocked in the back a little bit, right? And I'm like, hey, dude, whoa, guy turns around, long hair, tie dyed t-shirt, I'm guessing 22, 23 years old, got shorts on because only the motherfuckers that are high as fuck can have shorts on when it's 51 degrees outside, blowing wind 30 miles per hour. And so he turns around and he goes, oh man, whoa, I'm not looking to do anything. I'm not going to do anything. And I go, oh, okay. I can instantaneously recognize this kid has had way too
Starting point is 00:12:04 much of whatever it is he's doing and cocaine. You know what I'm saying? So he, okay, I can instantaneously recognize this kid has had way too much of whatever it is he's doing and cocaine. You know what I'm saying? So he's like, I'm not looking to do anything. I'm not looking to do anything. And I go, okay, I didn't think you were looking to do anything. I just wanted you to be careful when you were walking by on me. He's like, it's like my friends were here and then they weren't here and I was just looking and then I, I don't know, but I'm not looking to do anything. And I go, okay, bro, okay. Let's get you under this tree. I grab his shoulders and I'm trying to get him
Starting point is 00:12:32 to look me in the eye. I'm like, hey, you okay? And he's like, I was okay until I started looking. And then when I looked, then everybody left. And I was like, were they sitting here? He looks down on the ground. He goes, I don't know. It was, it's all grass. I was like, all right, man. Okay. Listen here, your friends are here somewhere. Do you have a cell phone where you might be able to contact
Starting point is 00:12:55 them? And he goes, well, I did, but then I went and started looking and I lost my cell phone. And I was like, oh yeah, you're fucked. You're fucked right. Right. You gotta go old school where you're just lost now from your friends. Yeah, so I go, hey bro, listen, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be okay.
Starting point is 00:13:13 It's a lot of people, but your friends are here somewhere and they're gonna find you or you're gonna find them. And at this point, that's all the advice that I can offer the guy, right? Everything's okay, you're gonna find your friends, they're gonna find you. What do you want me to do? You think I got a beacon detector about your friends?
Starting point is 00:13:26 Like I can't do anything about it. You knocked into me. I wasn't looking for a conversation with your LSD induced cocaine brain. I was just looking to help you along. And now he wants to stand there and talk to me. So now he crosses his arms and he starts doing this, swinging back and forth, swinging back and forth.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Swinging back and forth. I lose your new body. Yeah, now he's my new buddy. Now we got a new guy at the, you know. At the blankie. Yeah. Now is it a new guy at the, you know, now we got… At the blankie. Yeah. Now is that the blanket isn't stuffed enough with people's footprints and, you know, old
Starting point is 00:13:49 cups of swill. Now I got to have this guy standing there. So he goes, listen, I was just looking. And I go, okay, dude, I got it. I know you were just looking. It's okay. Why don't you just go continue to look? And he goes, well, if I get lost again, then I won't be able to look anymore. And I'm like, I got it. 10-4. And he goes, do you want some? Do
Starting point is 00:14:13 you want some? And I was like, do I want some of what? And he goes, do you want some? Oh, he got some. And he's like, looking in his pockets. Patting himself down. Yeah, he's patting himself down looking for, he's like, well, I thought I had some. Maybe when I started looking, I didn't find it. And I'm like, okay, dude, you are way too fucked up. I'm not looking for whatever you got. And I go, go on your way. Dude walks five feet in front of us, stops, does the same thing to the person right in
Starting point is 00:14:37 front of us. Start stalking. He's like, yeah, he goes, I was just looking. I'm not looking. I'm not going to do anything. I'm just looking. And I was, so. I'm not looking. I'm not going to do anything. I'm just looking. So, I'm watching, people watching, as he's just moving from blanket to blanket, telling people he's not going to do anything. He was just looking. I'm like, oh, poor kid.
Starting point is 00:14:56 That is so Brian 30 years ago. Hope he found his friends. I wish I had some more wisdom for him than just, you know, keep looking, but that was it. That's all you can do, or you can just stay in the same spot. But then if you're on stuff, you're going to be antsy. Yeah, oh, he was way on stuff. I don't know what it was. His eyes were twirling like the Cheshire fucking cat. But what I really noticed is it is not hard to understand who is holding in the crowd if you just pay attention long enough. Let me explain.
Starting point is 00:15:23 So at some point there was a couple of people that were next to us. I think they got like a little annoyed at us because we were like, you know, dancing and walking around. They were like calm older people. And they got a little annoyed by our, you know, laughing and giggling. So they picked up and laughed. Maybe they just couldn't hear anything because I couldn't hear any fucking thing. So I forgot to tell you who the band that I actually went to see was, was live. Yeah. The band, you know, I do. Did we do a whole episode on live?
Starting point is 00:15:50 One time. I don't know. I think, I don't know. Who knows? Yeah. Where did they go? Like my question was, where did they, I go, Kev, these guys haven't played live and like, what, they haven't been together in like 15 years? The DJ, remember that we look, you were surprised about the DJ and like Mykonos or whatever playing with the library. Oh, no, no, Creed. You're thinking about Creed. Creed, Creed.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Around the same time. Around the same time. Both known to be Christian bands, probably weren't Christian bands, either of them. I think that's how life started out. I could be wrong. But they have all the, you know, you've heard a song, if you've been on earth, you've heard a live song, right? Oh, down by the riverside, put your bottom in the water, put your hands in the water. Anyway, I don't need to sing all of it. It's terrible. And so, they pick up their thing and then there's this big empty space. And I noticed a couple of minutes later that there's a couple of younger ladies who have now collected in this space. And I'm saying probably mid-twenties, early to mid-twenties, right?
Starting point is 00:16:49 All in halter tops, tiny little shorts. It's freezing fucking cold out. They got their hands wrapped, rubbing themselves. And I'm like, why don't you just wear something warm? They can't. I know, I get it. They can't. They can't because that's not the way kids roll these days.
Starting point is 00:17:03 I say kids, it's just not the way they roll. Anyway, so they're all collecting and then some dude shows up. I'm going to guess he's a little bit older than I am, right? He's got a shaved head. He's got just the beard. The beard is a little bit long. He's got a neck tattoo. He looks like a guy who should not be hanging out with these young ladies at all.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Your fatherly instincts are kicking in. Your fatherly instincts are kicking in. My fatherly instincts are kicking in and I'm telling you what, not only were the first three or four original young ladies there, but soon after there was a huge collection of young people in general. And he was priority number one. Everyone wanted to talk to him. Everyone was up against him. Everyone was like tugging at his coattails.
Starting point is 00:17:45 And what I started to realize is this guy was like picking in his pocket and like doing handshakes with everybody. And I thought to myself, that's it. It's such a dead giveaway. And, you know, how dumb can you be just right there? I mean, I guess not dumb, but how obvious could you be right in the middle of that? And then I think to myself, when I was that age, we did stupid shit like that all the time. And yes, we had the older bartender dealer that was just always hanging around, 40 years our senior, you know what I'm saying? This guy's 57 years old, bartender,
Starting point is 00:18:14 hanging out, handing out cocaine to 20 year olds. Like no one was going to notice. The exact same thing is still happening with the youth today. But no, no to day blow. No, no day blow. Go, go night blow. No, no day blow. Okay? That's a new rule. Just remember that. Because this is the guy that you're going to be desperately trying to get a hold of four hours from now when you run out and you realize that it's only six fucking 15 in the afternoon. And what are you going to do with the rest of the night? Huh? How are you gonna watch 90 Day Fiance All Strung Out?
Starting point is 00:18:48 You can't do that. You gotta be hepped up and hyped up and ready to go. There has to be a friend with a guitar, someone who's gonna change the music frequently, half song wholly, and lots and lots of alcohol if you're gonna go day blowing it. Do you know what I'm saying? And there's no other circumstances. Maybe that was the evening's activities. and lots and lots of alcohol if you're going to go day blowing it. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, maybe they had that in store.
Starting point is 00:19:05 There's no other circumstances. Maybe that was the evening's activities. Yes. I feel like Andy Dick and John Belushi, those are two people who can do day blow. Everybody else should just stay out of it altogether. I'm just telling you kids, I'm just giving you a little wisdom, a little Brian wisdom. Uncle Brian. Day blow never leads to anything good.
Starting point is 00:19:28 It just leads to night blow, which then leads to more day blow, which then possibly could lead to more night blow. And by the second day of day blow, I'm going to guarantee you're going to regret doing the day blow in the first place. I'm going to guarantee, because then that's when your heart starts racing and every sound is the police coming from your door. Whoop whoop! Whoop whoop!
Starting point is 00:19:47 Whoop whoop! Come outside! Mr. Green, come outside! Oh shit! They're here for me! I need you to sign for this package. This is UPS. They're pretending to be UPS. It's me, D. Open up the door.
Starting point is 00:20:05 Oh, it's D. We're good. Yes. By the way, D didn't make deliveries before 6 PM, so fuck it. He already knew. He was still sleeping. Well, he was still sleeping and he knew. Day blow, no, no to day blow. He knew.
Starting point is 00:20:19 He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He knew. He, so fuck it. He already knew. No, he was still sleeping. Well, he was still sleeping and he knew day blow, no, no to day blow. He did.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Because if he was coming once, he was coming four more times before the end of the night. Right. He could manage your night for you, so he didn't have to be bothered. He would say, he would do this all the time. I'd be like, hey, Dee, I need you to come over, man. And he'd be like, yeah, yeah, B, chill, man, chill. Okay, I'll be over there. Give me like 30 minutes. That would be at, let's call it three o'clock in the afternoon. At 730, I'd still be like, hey, Dee, you said 30 minutes, like 30 minutes ago. And he'd be like, yeah, yeah, I'm coming. He wouldn't show up till 945 because Dee knew that if I got it too early, then he'd just be calling them all day long
Starting point is 00:21:06 He didn't want to bother with that. No, he knew how things work. He knew how things work I know how things work. You know how things work, but these young these ute of today the ute the utes don't know yet They're following some bald guy with a neck tattoo Looking for tableau Tableau, oh have you ever heard, have you ever seen the, it's always sunny in Philadelphia episode, Day Man? No.
Starting point is 00:21:34 Day man. I've seen the show but I haven't seen that. Defender of the night man. You've never seen that? Not that specific episode. Check out the day, man. Okay. So I'm going to change it to day blow. I'm going to call those guys and ask if they'll do a rendition of day blow with me.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Yeah. Look at me. Now I can just pick up the phone and call anybody. Let me call the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia guys. Where's Charlie O'Day when you need him? He's like managing a soccer team or something, isn't he? I think so. I think so too. All right. Let's take a break.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Lots more to talk about. What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TC video. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will
Starting point is 00:22:29 ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. Do you have a Costco membership? You know, I've gone back and forth on the Costco memberships over the years. I currently do not have one.
Starting point is 00:23:08 I don't see any need why you guys would need one. Right. It's just the two of us at this point. Yeah. And, you know, it takes up a lot of space. It takes up a ton of space. Yeah. We had to get an extra refrigerator.
Starting point is 00:23:18 I know it's a great value and I love the things that they have there, but yeah, you had to get an extra refrigerator. I had to get an extra refrigerator for the children. Yeah, my sister and her family had like three freezers. Yes. Yeah, it's... Anyone with more than one child understands the pain of having a, you know, nice designer refrigerator, and I say designer like a seven-year-old, I could pay at a Sonic or whatever it is,
Starting point is 00:23:37 but having one of those nice refrigerators in your kitchen and realizing the refrigerator is fucking useless because you can't put more than three things in there, right? Right. And the freezer is even less useful. It's a piece of shit. You can put two gallons of ice cream in there and that's it. Good luck getting anything else. I know.
Starting point is 00:23:54 And half the time doesn't even make ice. It's the most ridiculous thing in the world. But anyway, so we had to get an extra refrigerator of which we went and got at Costco, by the way, to put our Costco stuff in. Yeah. It was like 300 bucks. But Costco is, so we have a Costco membership. We also have a Sam's membership.
Starting point is 00:24:10 We do go there quite a bit and we buy gasoline there and stuff like that. Like we're trying to save wherever you can. We have as many children as I do. When you have as many children as I do in a podcast that's making practically nothing, then you'll understand that you have to pinch your pennies when you can.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Right? And at least you guys have one in close proximity. I'm not in an area that has those. Yeah, both of them are within a 15 minute drive, let's say. So, and it just depends on what we need. Sometimes we go to Sam, sometimes we go to Costco. But what I've noticed is they don't have all the selections of the things that we really need.
Starting point is 00:24:44 We have, I'm just watching as the door is slowly opening and I can't figure out if it's blue and one of my children or if both of them are trying to make a break for it. Yeah. It's like, okay, you push and I'll throw it. Oh, there it is. There they go. So we go to whichever one we need, but I notice they don't have a lot of like really individual choices. Like they don't have the cereals that I want, the stuff that I eat a lot of. It's very limited in choice.
Starting point is 00:25:11 And I'm certainly, just call me picky, call me an asshole, call me privileged, whatever. I'm not buying my meat at Costco. I'm just not doing it. So Costco and Sam's both have what they respectively consider like outstanding cafeterias, these places where you go, you buy the hot dogs, you buy the burgers, the pieces of pizza. Costco is known for those hot dogs. I know. And every time we go to one of these places, the dining area seems to get bigger and more
Starting point is 00:25:41 crowded. It's unbelievable how much people enjoy these frozen, clearly frozen, and then put in a microwave. And I'm confused because normally if I'm going to the store, I'm going there to buy something, not specifically to eat. So then do you eat and then go shopping? Because that is a good idea. That is a good idea to not go shopping. Never shop on an empty stomach. Right. Yeah, I have done that. Because you will buy twice, maybe three times what you need. I always, like, I'll end up picking up a dozen Krispy Kremes. No, that sounds so good.
Starting point is 00:26:11 Yeah, that are three days old. I'll end up buying, like, Hostess Twinkies, and I'm like, Twinkies. I've always wanted to try these taquitos. I know. I'll buy a thing of Nutella and just stick my finger in it on the way home. I'm like, that's so delicious. I make the worst
Starting point is 00:26:27 choices at the store. I really do. I go in there like broccoli and chicken. That's what I'm going to get. Broccoli, chicken, and whole wheat net zero carb tortillas. I'm going for it, right? Little hot sauce and I'll be good. What I leave with is cream, cereal, three day old Krispy Kremes and Osis cupcakes for no reason. They're probably 10 years old. So Costco has now made the decision because apparently some of these stores, they have like outdoor dining too. Like they have an outdoor window where people can just walk up, eat, then they have this enclosed outdoor patio where you can go and you can eat your food. And the policy has been generally to look away from those, like don't ask for the membership card when you're buying your hot dog.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Look away from them. Look away from the, look away. Don't look at people who eat at Costco. That's probably a good idea. The policy has been generally to don't consider people who eat at Costco human beings. Oh, but you don't have to show your membership? Well, on the outdoor ones especially, like you don't even need to show your membership to get in, you just walk up, you order the food and then you eat it. And it's been their policy to allow that. Or a general, whatever, kind of policy.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Well, now they are clamping down at all of their stores. They are no longer going to let you buy the food in the cafeteria unless you do have a membership, which you know, I was reading online and I think there's people that are way too upset about this. First of all, we talked about this. Hot dogs are the most disgusting food you can ever put in your belly and I love them, but they're disgusting. Yeah, they should only be consumed at the ballpark once a year. That's it. At the ballpark where you know that clearly- Maybe twice a year.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Yeah, maybe twice a year. Maybe twice a year. But you should really consider your life choices if hot dogs are something you're having on the regular. And this is coming from a guy who has had hot dogs on the regular for his entire life. It is not good for you. And I don't know what other food they're serving there, frozen pizzas, you know, French fries that come in a bag,
Starting point is 00:28:31 like all this other stuff. I'm not saying that Costco is doing anything different than any other fast food restaurant is. I'm not claiming their food is worse than any other food. I'm just saying like, you know, you probably shouldn't be eating at Costco on the regular. That's just my personal opinion. But the hot dogs are $1.50 and that's a hard deal to beat.
Starting point is 00:28:49 Go to McDonald's, like a fucking cheeseburger, a cheeseburger. And when I worked at McDonald's, you know how much a cheeseburger was, Chrissy? It had to be like a dollar. It was 69 cents. That's how much the cheeseburger, just a regular cheeseburger was 69 cents for years. It was like 69 cents. Now it's $4.99 for a fucking cheeseburger. It's crazy. And I promise you, there's nothing that special happening in that McDonald's cheeseburger. Anyway, so they decide, hey, listen, no more. You got to buy a membership if you want the hot dogs. A membership is
Starting point is 00:29:19 $60 for an individual, $120 for a family. And now they're putting face scanners at the front of these stores so that they can identify that the person who has the card is the person who's home. Yeah, you're not just passing it off to a family, an uncle or somebody. Yeah, because that was exactly, that was the kind of secret, not so secret thing about Costco too, is that you really didn't have to be the person who had the membership in order to get in the door. You just had to like flash the card and walk on through. Or scan it. Yeah, I had a Costco card, but I lost it.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Like I lose everything. And so I've been using Astrid's for a year. I just like walk in and flash Astrid's card. I just went to Sam's the other day and I just had Astrid's screenshot of her membership. This is the shrinkflation that everybody is talking about. You get less, you pay more. Now, I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with Costco.
Starting point is 00:30:07 If you are calculating that discount, that $1.50 hot dog, because someone is paying you essentially $60 to eat those $1.50 hot dogs, you're betting that they're only gonna come in once, twice, three times a year to buy the hot dog. If you don't buy a membership and you're that guy or gal who is literally walking up to the Costco counter every day for lunch, I can kind of understand where Costco is coming
Starting point is 00:30:32 from. But this is crazy to me how just looney tune people are getting about this new policy. I went on a website. Nicole Soule-Northman People get really crazy about anything Costco, it seems like. I know. But why are they so upset that they can't go eat their $1.50 hot dogs anymore? Pay the $60 and then go eat your $1.50 hot dogs. I read a post, and I'm assuming it was a lady, it sounded like a female name, and she had
Starting point is 00:30:58 a pic, like an icon picture, a little avatar. And she explained to the entire world, for everyone to see, with her photo on the Little Avatar and her name out there for everybody, that she proudly eats two of those hot dogs every day for lunch for the last 12 years. Huh. And that she has never had a Costco membership and she's giving her money to Costco and why shouldn't she be allowed to give her money to Costco, just like everybody else is, just in a different way?
Starting point is 00:31:29 This takes away my lunch, this is my place to eat. She's like, Jared, I've lost 300 pounds only eating hot dogs, whatever. And I'm like, okay, lady, listen, your life didn't just crumble in front of you. Go in, get the $60 membership, it allows you to eat all the hot dogs that you want for $1.50 for the rest of the year.
Starting point is 00:31:47 It's not that difficult. Now I realize some people, including myself, $60 is a lot of money. Like it's a lot of money, but you know, it's just one of the things that Costco has the right to do as a corporation. Now on the flip side of that, is Costco so fucking protective
Starting point is 00:32:03 over their $1.50 pig anuses that they cannot allow? Share with everyone? Share with everybody? Allow some extra people to go in and eat some pig anuses for $1.50? I'm on both sides of this coin. I'm not a flip-flopper. I'm actually on both sides of the coin. I say yay to Costco restricting access and I say no to Costco restricting access. You figure that one out. So whichever side of the coin you're on, I'm with you. I'm with you. I see both sides of the coin. Maybe they were having a problem too. Like you said, whenever you go, there's a lot of
Starting point is 00:32:33 people that are there eating. So maybe they were having trouble with actually having places for paying customers, membership customers to eat. If my Costco is any indication, then the answer to that is yes. Yeah, so maybe they're trying to make it a little bit, make people want to pay the 60. Yeah, it's exclusive. It's a little membership.
Starting point is 00:32:53 You remember, I was reading, remember Backstreet? Yeah. Backstreet was a club here in Atlanta. And along with Club Anytime and a couple of other very famous clubs back in the 70s, 80s and 90s, and early 2000s, I guess.
Starting point is 00:33:06 They got around Atlanta's restrictive alcohol laws, meaning serving alcohol. You can only serve until three in the morning on Fridays and Saturdays only, or on any day of the week, on Saturdays only till two in the morning because you couldn't serve alcohol, on Sundays till noon and you couldn't buy alcohol individually. Anyway, they got around this by making it a membership club. That's right. The memberships. That's right. So the membership used to be that you would pay $5 for a nightly membership, I think, if I remember correctly, and then you would pay like $45 for the year. But it slowly started to go up as more and more people turned up at Backstreet. Backstreet was originally like a Dragon Gay bar, and then it just turned into anybody who wants to fucking party goes to fucking
Starting point is 00:33:50 Backstreet or Club End of Time. It was huge, right? It was huge. It was like, I don't know, 30 storey. I'm not, I'm lying, of course, but it was like, it was 70 football fields of debauchery. And every corner, you could do, you could do Day Blow at Backstreet. Oh yeah. Dude, you could do Day Blow at Backstreet. Do you could do Day Blow at Backstreet, because it was pitch black in there and you wouldn't know the difference. But they were open, quote unquote, 24 hours a day. So was Club Anytime, hence the name Club Anytime. And they
Starting point is 00:34:14 actually had a, they had a vending machine in the bathroom that sold poppers. It was so crazy. I remember that. Okay, so Club Anytime, Club Backstreet. But as more and more people came, the prices got increasingly crazy. Supply and demand. Yes, you'd have to pay like a $30 cover plus the $80 to get your little membership pass. So, I can understand how Costco is saying, hey, listen, and Costco also made the choice not to raise membership prices. So you can't eat here unless you have a membership or keep a membership prices low, even though inflation is higher than anybody would like it to be. So as there's demand, you can understand there's a reason to like raise prices or make exclusivity. The truth about Backstreet was it was like, I'd say it was like any other club,
Starting point is 00:35:01 but it was a club. You could walk in, see sloppily drunk people making out with other sloppily drunk people and probably get drugs, right? That was it. It was like any other club. But what made Backstreet such a catch was, first of all, it was, it had a flavor all its own. It was hard to describe what was going on in Backstreet. So, it did have some magic going on inside of that club. But people wanted to go because it was the place that you would go. That was it. So, if you want to get in, you had to pay the tithe. That was just it. So, I don't know what's going on with these dollar long, fucking foot long dildo dogs or whatever the fuck they're serving over there, but people are going crazy over them and have been for years. And so, they're just now putting the red velvet rope
Starting point is 00:35:43 up. That's what they're doing. And so, maybe it's just fair is fair. You got to pay in to get your, you know, your dildo dogs. That's it. Yeah, I didn't even know it was free or that you didn't have to pay the membership, but I've never specifically gone there for a hot dog. Well, mine is inside. Like there's no outside area. So I don't know how you would get in without at least flashing somebody else's thing. But I've had the dildo dogs, and I gotta be honest with you, I'm not sure, I don't know if that's worth $60. If that's the only thing I'm doing with my Costco membership,
Starting point is 00:36:14 I don't know that it's worth that. I think maybe once every other year, we will stop by and get something to eat at that. But I usually don't go for the dildo dog. I just don't think it's all- For the food, for the prepared food. dog. I just don't think it's all prepared food. It's no ballpark dog. That's for sure. It's not sitting in its own slime for years on it. Don't people get obsessed too with the the tasting, the tasters that are out there? The tasty teeners? Like the little tasting stations where people are handing out. People go
Starting point is 00:36:42 fucking bananas. Don't they? I've read about that. Yeah, because you pay your six, here's another thing, pay your $60 and I'll tell you why. And then you can just eat at the, all the different tasting stations. Why not? Grandma does it all the time. Everybody apparently does it. You will not believe how people go ape shit over those little tasting things. Those people, some of them, you know.
Starting point is 00:37:00 Can't make it fast enough. Yeah, listen, you're giving flax seeded away, no one's gonna be standing there. You're giving baked goods away, like, hey, you wanna try Duncan Hines new, you know, Duncan fresh cookie dough, fantastic choc-o-lastic? You wanna try it with some fucking free milk? People are like beating each other over the head. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Starting point is 00:37:18 Right? They go crazy. Anything cheese, anything bread, anything sweet, anything meat, Everyone goes nuts. But then there's the poor bastards who got to sit around serving flaxseed. Hey, you want to try our new flaxseed oil? No, I don't. Thanks anyway. Yeah. But yeah, I'm in a hurry. I gotta go. Nope. I use a different brand. I'm loyal to the flaxseed. The flaxseed oil made with birdseed. I don't
Starting point is 00:37:49 know what the fuck they're doing. This is fucking flaxseed shit. So yes, they go crazy over it. And people have been known to just like, you know, take circles around the stores and have lunch. Yeah. That's it. On a Saturday afternoon, you can have lunch at Costco just on the free shit, but you're going to have to get in fights with people in order to do that because people literally stand there waiting in line, like tapping their foot as if the samples should be ready for them, queen sampler. I mean, give yourself a break, will you? It's not a meal, it's a treat. It's a thing they're giving away. I've read Reddit posts about people who do that for a living, who are like the sample people who do that for a living. Yeah, that work for the companies that do that.
Starting point is 00:38:28 And they are always like, I'm a sample maker at Costco and you won't believe that. Animals that show up. Animals. I was reading one lady, she was really funny actually, she was reading, I probably should have saved that post. This is months ago, I was reading it. And she was like, people will literally grab three or four of them at a time. They'll turn the corner, then they'll send their children to get two of them. Right? Yeah, it's really weird. And she's like, it's just obnoxious. People love free shit to begin with, period. I used to do those conventions. And I mean, it could be a pen. It's your last, it's a crappy pen. It was a promotional pen.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yes. You had made, it's in a little plastic wrapper. And people freak out. Can I take more? How many can I have? It's crazy. Listen, in my old age, I've started to realize I don't need everything that's free.
Starting point is 00:39:17 I don't need yet another magnet from my doctor. Chip clip. I don't need a chip clip. I don't need a bumper sticker. I don't need it. It's just stuff that collects in my house. Yeah, I don't need a chip clip. I don't need a bumper sticker. Like, I don't need it. It's just stuff that collects in my house. Yeah, I think for some reason I'm going to use it at some point. Oh, that chip clip is going to come in handy. I've got a basket full of chip clips. I will never need another chip clip in my life. But here's the thing also, is that I know this is true
Starting point is 00:39:40 because we went to Mempho with 500 stickers and we left with addresses to send people stickers. People would come up and they'd take five of them and you'd be like, what are you doing? Oh, two buddies in a crowd. Do you? Do you even know what the commercial break is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great potato salad. Talk to you soon. I know people just love anything free. They love anything free. We could go to Costco and put a little Duncan Hines chocolate brownie on top of our podcast and we probably have more listeners than we ever had before.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Take a listen to this podcast for five, subscribe to this podcast and get free Duncan Hines chocolate plastic. You might be onto something there. You know I am. Keep that Costco membership. Actually, we're gonna take a break so that we can call Costco and see if podcasts are
Starting point is 00:40:27 allowed. Clean up and all that. It's the best marketing idea we've ever had. We've had some lousy marketing ideas, lousy marketing people, but I'm telling you what, this is a great idea. It's a good one. Which time has come. All right, we're going to take a break.
Starting point is 00:40:43 We'll call Costco and we'll be back. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB and you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on TCB Podcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are.
Starting point is 00:41:32 All right. Let's stick with the food theme here. I just read something that I don't know how I feel about, but I'm sure it's going to change my life in one way or the other regarding food. McDonald's, the largest real estate owner in the world. Yep. They're in the real estate business. That's it. Ray Kroc said it. real estate owner in the world. Yep, they're in the real estate business. That's it. Rick Croc said it. I'm not in the burger business. I'm in the real estate business.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Tens of thousands of stores all across the world will have, ready for this, crispy cream donuts, fresh, crispy cream donuts. In every one of its stores by the end of 2026, they will be selling crispy cream donuts. I mean, who doesn't love a good crispy cream? Fuck. They're hard to turn down. I have just managed to shake myself of any kind of addiction to McDonald's. And what
Starting point is 00:42:17 I mean by that is I worked there for a long time. I could probably never have another cheeseburger from McDonald's ever again, and it would be fine. But then for years, of course, it's just like everybody else, it's fast, it's convenient. So I would oftentimes stop there, especially when I was single because, and I had a McDonald's right in the corner. Yeah, I could walk there, right? And I would sometimes, like two in the morning, it was open 24 hours, I'd be like, you have to go to the drive-through, I'm too drunk.
Starting point is 00:42:45 So McDonald's has made an agreement with Krispy Kreme to put fresh donuts in every McDonald's by 2026. That's a game changer. It is a game changer. And even though in the last number of years, even if sometimes we'll go and we'll get, you know, the kids love the happy meals, but they don't eat the food. They just like the toys. Right.
Starting point is 00:43:02 You know, they'll leave the burger with one bite taken out of it. And sometimes the French fries are good, right? But in the chicken nuggets, forget about it. They don't eat them. They just don't find it appetizing, I guess, I'm assuming. And so, we don't buy it almost ever for the kids except they want a toy. Okay, we'll go get you a special thing. Okay, go get you a toy. But this changes everything. This changes everything. I don't even order food when they go to McDonald's. I don't even order food because I'm like, I'm not interested. I'll have some of your French fries. But if you're going to put Krispy Kreme donuts in the McDonald's, then-
Starting point is 00:43:30 And the salty and the sweet, the hot fries, hot salty fries with the Krispy Kreme. They know it. Some stoned executive chef at McDonald's is like, let me make myself. He's probably at the, I can see him at this big corporate kitchen up in Oakbrook, Illinois, where they're, where McDonald's is based. This big corporate kitchen, three in the morning, he's stoned. He has one of his friends in him get into an Uber. He goes, I'm going to show you the executive kitchen at McDonald's.
Starting point is 00:44:04 He flips on the lights, they make themselves a shake, and his bro has like a six pack of Krispy Kreme donuts. They make themselves a shake, they cut it up, they put it in the shake and they start dipping their French fries in it. And they go, Krispy Kreme donuts and McDonald's, a marriage made in heaven for every heart diseased human being that's been eating our food for centuries. Let's up the ante. Let's make us fatter, slower, stupider, more prone to disease. Well, isn't it a thing too about the McFlurry things, the machines that never work? The ice cream machines never work. And I know why. I mean,
Starting point is 00:44:42 there's been an investigate, thousands of investigations, I think the DOJ did an investigation. And they determined that the company who sells the equipment then also services the equipment. And by making it easy for those things to break down, then they always have to have service on them. But let me tell you this as a guy who has done this once or twice, the shake machines and the ice cream machines at McDonald's are a nightmare to clean. Oh, God. A nightmare to clean. You literally have to disassemble the entire thing. It's like a 40 step process. It's like a juicer. Yes. And exactly. That's why I don't... I know. I've got 12 juicers and they're all sitting there. But I know what I'm going to have to do to clean it. It's
Starting point is 00:45:20 just a nightmare. So why bother? I'm going to go to Jamba Juice or whatever the fuck. Exactly. I know Jamba Juice is just sugar and aloe or whatever, but I'm going for it. All right? I'm going for it. Listen, when you have to do that, if you got stuck being, like if it was your shift, right, to do the night shift. And a lot of times I was on the night shift and I would close up the stores and then we'd have to put all of that stuff in hot water, then in sanitizer, then in more hot water, then in soapy water, then in sanitizer.
Starting point is 00:45:51 And then you'd have to defrost the machine, which in and of itself took hours sometimes to do. It was a total nightmare, but I get it. There's actual milk products or supposedly- Of course, no, you have to keep it clean. So they have now solved that. Forget about the ice cream, we've got donuts. Yeah, we've got donuts, that's it.
Starting point is 00:46:11 Or let's just start making ice cream out of a carton like everybody else does. I mean, why bother? But the thing about the McDonald's ice cream is it's soft serve ice cream. That is a good point. Which is great for people in their elder years like Brian, because I don't have to worry about breaking a tooth on ice cream. I mean, just the thought that I could run up to McDonald's and get a 12-pack of those, and trust me, I could crush a 12-pack of Krispy Kreme donuts in 24 hours, no problem. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:42 You know who owns a lot of Krispy Kremes? Shaq. Shaq owns a lot of Krispy Kremes. Shaq is all over the place, right? Shake Shaq? No, Shaquille O'Neal. Oh, Shaq. No, I know Shaq. Yes. Okay. Shaq owns a bunch of- They just redid that one that burned down twice, weirdly. Isn't that Shaq's? And that's Shaq's, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:46:58 Yeah. And that's finally redone. And they all- he does a lot for the community too. Listen, I ain't got no bones with Shaq, right? I don't know the guy, but he seems perfectly lovely. I think I went to a party one time where he was DJing, like I got invited to a party. You remember that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. So it was like, you know,
Starting point is 00:47:14 Shaq's big New Year's Eve celebration or something. I can't remember, but it was something, Super Bowl party. I went and Shaq was there and I could see him. You know, I was two miles away from him and you could see him clear as days. He's a- Especially if he's been a DJ. I know, he is a giant amongst men.
Starting point is 00:47:32 And then one time I met Magic Johnson at Burger King. At a Burger King. Anyway, so onward and upward with my story, Shaq one time was on 60 Minutes and he was talking about all the different business ventures like general insurance and all this stuff where he basically says, I don't want you to pay me as a spokesperson, I want a piece of the business. So fucking smart.
Starting point is 00:47:53 This kid is so fucking smart. Not a kid anymore, he's older than I am. But he told the guy at 60 Minutes, they were in a Krispy Kreme and he said, I could do four dozen of these in one sitting. Oh yeah. Four dozen crispy creams in one sitting. I'd be in a sugar coma personally myself, because I do get in a sugar coma every time I eat those crispy creams. Don't you? Like I'll eat two or three of them because they're so good. You can't stop eating them two, three, four. And then I'll be like, Oh, I gotta go take a fucking nap.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Yeah. Well, I know. And I normally don't even go for donuts, but we were out at this food hall, this newer food hall, and we're given just a thing of these gourmet donuts. They just gave them to you? Yeah, because we knew somebody and whatever. Why am I not around when you know somebody? I was around at Menfo. I got stuck underneath a tent in mud next to the porta-potties. Chrissy's back there gallivanting with all the celebrities. And I'm writing down addresses so I can send stickers to people who don't even know what the commercial break is.
Starting point is 00:48:52 What's up with you? Why don't you invite me to the good stuff? I didn't know we were going to get the free donuts, but we get them home and I couldn't help it. They were so delicious. Yeah. Finally, I was like, Jeff, do you want any more? And he was like, no, because we just coerced ourselves and like, okay,
Starting point is 00:49:07 I'm throwing them away. And then two hours later, you're like, where are those fucking donuts? You're picking them out of the garbage. I just love, I love a good donut. I love a good donut. And those Krispy Kremes, I don't know what it is. I don't know what crack magic they have in that fucking sauce that they put on them, but they're so fresh and they're so good, especially when you get them when they're hot. Soft and doughy. Yeah. And the chocolate top, like the chocolate topped donuts. Oh, just forget about it. I love them.
Starting point is 00:49:34 So I think this is just a nightmare scenario coming true for Brian Green, because I have given up McDonald's generally, given up McDonald's mostly, given up McDonald's for the last number of years. And now they're pulling me back in. And Now they're pulling me back in. But this is good for McDonald's because I think McDonald's does need something to get people back in the door. I think McDonald's long time ago lost a little bit of its luster as far as a burger chain is concerned. You know the BuzzFeed, that damn website where all you're doing is just giving them more information about what you like by answering these silly quizzes.
Starting point is 00:50:07 And seeing what Megan Fox has done next. Yeah, that's right. So I was on and I was doing, you know, one of these quizzes and the quiz was about the best burger joint in America. So it was like best French fries, Wendy's, Burger King, McDonald's, Five Guys. I answered Five Guys on everything except for best french fries and best milkshake. I said best milkshake. I still think, even though Five Guys has great milkshakes, I still think a good McDonald's milkshake is pretty good. So the
Starting point is 00:50:36 french fries and their milkshakes, you got to have one. You know they do those shamrock shakes, they put that green dye in it and that mint sauce that I'm sure is causing some kind of damage to my brain. It's just so good, but you can only get them a couple months a year. Did you have them? I just love it. Did you have one this past St. Patty's Day? No, I couldn't afford it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:55 That's high rolling for me right now. I made my own milkshake. I literally took some of my kids' milk, I put some green dye in it, and I shook it up. And I was like, oh, well. Beth Dombkowski Just almost the same. Jared Sussman Yeah. I put 20 teaspoons of sugar in there and I shook it up. I went to a Baskin Robbins one time. Beth Dombkowski
Starting point is 00:51:14 Oh, those are good. Jared Sussman I know, good Baskin Robbins too. There's another one. So, I go into Baskin Robbins and I say, give me a mint chocolate chip milkshake. And they're doing, I'm watching, I'm the only person in there, right? It's me and it's Astrid and I, we're the only two people in there. And so, I'm watching the girl make the thing. And I see that along with the 12 scoops of ice cream that she puts in for a medium milkshake and like a gallon of milk, she's putting simple syrup on top of it. Simple syrup, sugar and water. That's what simple syrup is. That's why it's called simple syrup. It's sugar and water. It's simple. And so she starts pouring
Starting point is 00:51:51 simple syrup on top of this concoction that she's about to put in the blender. And I was like, excuse me, is that simple syrup? And she goes, it's sugar syrup. And I was like, okay, same thing. Simple syrup. Got it. Do you need to put that in there in order to make the milkshake? And she's like, well, I guess not. And I was like, okay, same thing, simple syrup, got it. Do you need to put that in there in order to make the milkshake? And she's like, well, I guess not. And I was like, is it possible for you to make me one without the simple syrup? So she ends up making two, because now she's already poured one in there and she's now she makes me another one. Very nice young lady.
Starting point is 00:52:17 And so she hands me both of them. She says, just whatever, this one has it, this one doesn't. I made two, you can have it, just charge one. So I taste the difference, which one doesn't. I made two, you can have it, just charge one. So, I taste the difference, which is no difference. There is no difference in the two. One might be a touch sweeter, but generally speaking, it's not any sweeter than the one without simple syrup. And I'm thinking to myself, all of my life, I have been ordering these fucking milkshakes, and people have been putting simple syrup on top of it, making me bigger, fatter, slower, older, for no reason whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:52:49 There is no benefit to the taste of it. And I can't believe that they've been putting this simple syrup on my thing. I'm glad you finally figured out the, the, uh, the trick. Not so secret ingredient that does nothing. The ingredient usually adds something to the dish, but this did nothing. Does calories. Yeah, so now I don't say anything. I just say, hey, whatever, give me the simple syrup.
Starting point is 00:53:10 I want my, you're not going to get me for a penny. I want my simple syrup. Double simple syrup, please. That's what I say. Simple syrup and day blow. Two things you should not have in the afternoon. Simple syrup and day blow. Two things you should not have in the afternoon. Simple syrup and day blow. Now that we've informed.
Starting point is 00:53:33 And now you know kids and knowing is half the battle. Or so G.I. Joe used to say. All right. Well, it was a food-filled episode of the commercial. I know, are you hungry? I am, actually. Okay. Yeah. I think Noemi's in there cooking some taco pockets. You want a taco pocket?
Starting point is 00:53:54 Maybe. Oh, you're going to love a good taco pocket. If you haven't had a taco pocket, wait until you have a taco pocket. Oh, that sounds good. Yes. Day blow, no. Taco pocket, yes. Those things you can eat in the afternoon. No problem
Starting point is 00:54:05 I won't leave you with any residual desire to have more taco pockets at nine o'clock at night, or maybe it will I don't know We'll see. We'll see. All right. We want you to be a part of the commercial break We would love to have you on the show If you have a question for us, if you'd like to talk to us, tell us a funny story Tell us a wild and crazy story, you can come on the show. Don't have to use your real name. We could even disguise your voice if you are that paranoid, I'm happy to do that.
Starting point is 00:54:30 If you are on Day Blow, then we'll disguise your voice. Yeah, no problem. No problem. But you gotta do that. There's only one way to do that, excuse me, and that's to contact us so we can let you know how to get on the show. 212-433-3TCB, That's 212-433-3822. Text us.
Starting point is 00:54:45 Let us know you want to be on the show. Give us a little highlight of what you'd like to discuss. Someone will get back to you and let you know when and where and how you can get on the show. You can also leave comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas. Ask Brian's mom. Ask TCB. You can text at all to 212-433-3TCB.
Starting point is 00:54:53 Go to TCBpodcast.com. That's where you get all the latest news, all the latest news, all the latest news about the show. We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 00:55:01 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Ask Brian's mom, ask TCB. You can text it all to 212-433-3TCB. Go to TCBpodcast.com. That's where you get all the information about the show, the video, the audio, it's all right there for the taking. It's all yours at TCBpodcast.com.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Also, get your free piggy fronting stickers while they last. We're already planning the next sticker. Yes, we are. And so since we're planning the next sticker. Yes, we are. And so since we're planning the next sticker, piggy fronting will be phased out. So if you want your piggy fronting sticker, get it now. Go to the website. Hit the Contact Us button.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address. We'll send you that sticker. Do us a favor. YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break is the place to get all of the videos, all the interviews on video right there on YouTube at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcasts, and tick tock if you give a shit.
Starting point is 00:55:54 Okay. If you give a shit. Okay, Chrissy, I think that's all I can do for now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you.
Starting point is 00:56:04 And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Christy and I do say, we will say, and we must say, Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I gotta get some cocaine! Gonna be great!

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