The Commercial Break - Scrotal Sherpa

Episode Date: December 20, 2023

You might be wondering what in the world a Scrotal Sherpa is, and to that I say "IYKYK" Tis the season! Storytime with Bryan Awkward times at the restaurant TJ & Amy’s former spouses are now togeth...er Mark Bryan’s words…Matt Lauer is going to try to make a comeback Dating someone in the same circle as someone else you dated Update on Bryan’s balls Scrotum Sherpa The kids keep kicking Bryan in his “booboo” Bryan won’t wear a cup because he doesnt want his kids to make fun of him Your secret is safe with me! Bryan, I definitely wanted to name this “Penis Boo Boo” but I’ll settle…this time… Taking Christmas too far She’s gingerbread obsessed! An 800 piece collection! The Gingerbread Lady She’s out here smoking ginger?! It’s a GJ, a ginger joint! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**  

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 I really can't stay! But babe, I got crab rangoon! Fuck! Why did you not start with that? Let's go! On this episode of the commercial break... It wasn't as easy as I thought it was gonna be. Everybody tells, couple days of ice, you'll be fine. Couple days of ice, you'll be fine.
Starting point is 00:00:20 And your husband, Jeff, was wonderful. He also guided me through, like a... Like a nutsooth sauer. You know guided me through like a like a nutsooth sauer you know what I'm saying like a nut boot of balls yeah he was the boot of balls hey buddy how you know what are the the sherpas that take the people that's right a scrotum sherpa the next episode of the commercial break starts now. Go party in the morning! Oh yeah, kids, again, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is our name, Missil Toe Manager, Christin.
Starting point is 00:00:52 Joy, only best of you, Chris. It's Percy Bryan. It's best of you out there in the Bud-guess universe. Ah, that is the season, Chrissy. Tis that season. Tis the season for a story time with Brian. What do you think? Oh, a fireside chat? A fireside chat. No, no, they're offline now. That season is the season for a story time with Brian. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:01:09 Fireside chat a fireside chat. No, no, they're offline now. I don't know what happened to them Actually, they're back to doing the rooms again. No, I don't see the TV anymore. Now it's the room. We're talking about fire side the The rocket ship application that took off during the pandemic. Oh no, that was Clubhouse. I'm sorry, fireside. The rocket ship that Elon Musk's rocket ship just fell sideways and explode. Now I'm kidding, Elon Musk is doing great work. Thank God for Elon Musk, we wouldn't be going to space at all.
Starting point is 00:01:33 You know what I'm saying? I don't see NASA flying anything up to space right now. But I'll put Elon aside for right now. This is a touchy subject. Here's what I do have to say. When I was just an eWwitty, bitty restaurant boy back in the days, back in the crazy hey days, I was working at this fine steakhouse. A pa hu ha hu na. A pa hu na. That's right. Okay. So, you know, it's just little waiter
Starting point is 00:01:58 Brian running around, bartender Brian running around causing problems, spending way too much money on kids margaritas. You know what I'm saying? Hoping to pay my rent by the 40th of the month. So I was dating a girl, like loosely dating a girl. I think we were more friends who were trying to force something to happen, but it really wasn't happening. I think we were attracted to each other,
Starting point is 00:02:19 but it was clear that we just weren't on the same wavelength. She had wanted nothing to do with kids margaritas. She wanted nothing to do with my shenanigans. So I don't think it was a perfect fit for the two of us. She were like, I was just a little bit of a wild. Yes. And you're asking your customers if they have any drugs you can have. I think you're often, but unbelievably at a very high end restaurant in the bar area,
Starting point is 00:02:44 it was the customer's who often supplied the narcotics, because time and money is an addict's worst enemy. So this girl goes out of town for whatever reason. She leaves for a couple of weeks or a month. I'm not sure, a period of time. It's probably three days, but I'm just gonna take a minute.
Starting point is 00:02:59 It was a month. It was a long time. Yes. And one of these crazy nights turned into a long morning at my townhouse, the townhouse that I was living in. And there was another girl who worked at the restaurant who I had never given two thoughts to. She was just, I actually didn't care for her all that much.
Starting point is 00:03:15 I thought she was kind of, I don't know, obnoxious and, you know, high strong and scattered. All the things that I was, I saw the mirror in my cell. Actually, I just didn't like it. It wasn't for me. But she's held two magnets together, repelling. This would become my future wife, by the way. Okay. So she is at this party and in the wee hours of the morning and I'm wrapping it up.
Starting point is 00:03:40 I'm telling everybody they got to get the fuck out of my house because I have to sleep, because it's eight o'clock in the morning and I have to be at work at 10, 30 in the morning and I have not a wink of sleep. I got to throw some cold water on my face. So we're saying goodbye. I'm upstairs in the townhouse. I thought everybody had left. I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth and when I get out from brushing my teeth, the girl is standing there. She's just like standing outside the bathroom. And then all of a sudden we're making out.
Starting point is 00:04:03 It's just like one of those moments. I don't know what happened. I don't know how it happened. I guess I just assumed if she was standing outside my bathroom door for five to ten minutes, there could be no other reason why she was up there. And she just went in for the kiss and then all of the sudden we're making out. Okay. Here's a point of the story. Yeah. Her and I started dating pretty soon after and I had to tell the other girl on the phone
Starting point is 00:04:23 like if we weren't like exclusive just to be clear I wasn't cheating on her We weren't we were dating other people even though we weren't dating other people We just does something we said do each other to make each other feel good about the relationship pace So you know how you do, you know, yeah, no, no, no, it's Lucy. Let's keep it Lucy Goosey once we put a label on it. It's all over the good times of gone once you put a label on it Right, let's just have fun you do what you want to do. Yeah. I'll do what I want to do. And when we come together, we'll fuck, right?
Starting point is 00:04:47 Right? So it was an uncomfortable conversation I had to have. But the most uncomfortable part of this was then going to events, functions, and parties afterwards. For work. Where, for work, after work, parties that just happen to appear, you know, every single night after a restaurant shift. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:07 Then I, and I also was a bartender at the restaurant where both of these people were, you know, wait a, wait a sec. So it was a little bit uncomfortable. Those social functions were uncomfortable to me for the first couple of months because everybody gave me the side eye. Because, you know, there's a side to, there's the truth, there's my side, there's your side.
Starting point is 00:05:27 There's three sides to every story. And so it made me very like, just uncomfortable to walk into these situations. I'll never, I still can feel that feeling when I think about it. I need you. Like, who do you go to first? To say hello?
Starting point is 00:05:40 Well, you go to the girl that you're having sex with currently to say hello, because that's the right thing to do. But I'm talking about the other people in the room. You know what I feel like they all were looking at me with a side eye. Like I had done something inappropriate or wrong, even though no one ever said that to me. Even though this happens to it, every single restaurant. Every single restaurant.
Starting point is 00:05:59 It's so nepotistic. And I don't mean nepotistic like your uncle hired your cousin. I mean like nepotistic like everyone is screwing mean nepotistic, like your uncle hired your cousin. I mean like nepotistic, like everyone is screwing everybody all the time. That's what goes on. And occasionally there's like a couple that rise this to the top. They become like the couple you want to aspire to. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:06:14 Like, oh, they, if we can be like them, though that couple, the couple in the restaurant, they got it down. Look, he was dating one girl and then he dated and another girl, it all worked out just fine. They're together. Look, they're marrying one girl and he dated another girl, it all worked out just fine. They're together. Look, they're marrying, oh, they're divorced. All right. They're married for 15 days, not they're divorced.
Starting point is 00:06:31 And I say this because I'm reading this story, you remember like the big good morning America shakeup that happened with that guy, TJ Robuck. Yes. Is it Robuck? I forgot his name, TJ. Let me see here if I can, I wanna get the names right.
Starting point is 00:06:46 That's the least I can do for our listeners, Chrissy, is finally get something, right? TJ Holmes and Amy Robuck. The two of them were co-anchors on Good Morning America, I think it was. They're co-anchors. Word gets out that they've been sleeping together and they both have a significant other.
Starting point is 00:07:05 Yeah. So it's definitely a scandal. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's a scandal has scandal all written all over it, Chrissy. It's our own little reality show happening in the morning, it's like, what's that show? The morning show. Morning show.
Starting point is 00:07:19 It's like a real version of the morning show. It's so much like the real morning show, like the real version of the morning show that even Matt Lauer is getting involved in this. Let me explain. There's a big wedding for one of the Good Morning America hosts. And everybody from far and wide, it's like the siren song of the morning show. They like gather everybody together. The bad signal goes out. All the morning show people come, including TJ and Amy. They come as a couple together to that wedding. Yeah, because they've left their respective spouses.
Starting point is 00:07:53 I'm about to get into the craziness about this. And guess who else shows up? Matt fucking lower shows up who has been hiding in a hole for five or six years ever since they found out that he had a blowjob button under his desk. I mean, the guy shows up with his new significant other, his new fling. So this is like quite the drama around the circles. The craziest thing that has come out of this that I've reading about is the two that were left, the man and the woman who were divorced so that Amy and T.J. could have a relationship, now have a relationship. They are now together as a couple.
Starting point is 00:08:32 That happens. I've heard about that happening. And for one of, and also two, isn't it? Is it Andrew Schu who she was married to? I think so. Yeah. And he was on, he was like, you know, back in the 90s, he was on Melrose Place.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Oh, yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're right about this. They were married. So you've now got two couples that have been created out of this situation. You got Matt Lauer attracted to shit like fly. I think the guy's just like coming in for the kill.
Starting point is 00:09:04 And I only can imagine. I went to parties where there was like five or six people and I felt a certain level of discomfort, not because I had done anything wrong because I thought people thought I did something wrong. Can you imagine walking into a crowd of hundreds of people at this huge gallow, there's a wedding, this event, photographers and everything? And then not only that, but then your photograph next to that fucking lower with a blowjob button. What level of discontent or embarrassment must you feel at some wavelength, you must feel some sense of.
Starting point is 00:09:38 For these people. Yeah, like, I'm just imagining myself walking into a room where I publicly, clearly, no doubt about it, was in the wrong. I cheated on my wife with my co-host at a workplace environment who then also cheated on her husband and then somehow Matt Lauer showed up.
Starting point is 00:09:59 But somehow Matt Lauer's getting back into the game. And now those two are together, the two we divorced are now together. It must be a, there must be so much drama going on behind the scenes. Yeah, you know, it's one of those things if you're a guest at the party. How much chitting and chatting must you be doing?
Starting point is 00:10:15 Oh, so much. Oh, God, I would just love this. I know. Like that. TJ and Amy. Yeah, they showed up together. Oh, it's fucking Matt Lauer. Get the blowjob button out.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Matt Lauer's here. Matt Lauer is trying to make a comeback. Trust me when I say this, Chrissy, you will mark my words episode 3000, two months from now. We will hear about Matt Lauer making some kind of comeback, some Netflix television show like the David Letterman sit down talk show, some Amazon streamer, some kind of morning news program on a fledgling news network.
Starting point is 00:10:51 CNN's gonna hire him. He will be back. MSNBC puts him wherever he will be back. He's going to plot his comeback. And I'm not particularly sure if the guy with a blowjob button should be the guy that's just giving reading my morning news. No.
Starting point is 00:11:06 But, you know, he's been sitting out for five years. And I think coming out in this public way with his new love, he's trying to get back into, like, some sense of normalcy. Like, he's, I was just a guy with a blowjob button. I mean, who doesn't have a blowjob button? You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Blowjob.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Well, he was also pressuring women into it was the whole, yeah. Terrible. I'll promote you if you do this for me and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, they'll, the sleazy. Yeah. The sleazyness. There's lots of sleaze that goes on everywhere, right? And I think the guys are probably more guilty of this than women are, but it happens all the time.
Starting point is 00:11:46 And we know this from personal experience. It's not just the guys. The girls are up to it too. Personal experience, we know this. Verifiable. There's just some ratchet ass business out there, bosses out there that are just pressure and people to do shit. They don't want to do.
Starting point is 00:12:00 But when you have a blow job button and you're using your incredible wealth, fame, and money, which is the same as wealth, so I said it twice. When you use that, when you use that to pressure somebody, or maybe not even pressure them, but give them the impression that if you do this, then that will happen. I think there's a lot of people out there
Starting point is 00:12:23 that are young and impressionable or not young and impressionable who would probably succumb to that kind of offer, right? Me, I would succumb to that kind of offer. And it just seems to me like, I don't know, even if you wanted, even if the guy wanted to make a comeback. I'm not particularly sure that that's the guy
Starting point is 00:12:44 I would trust with my morning news. Not that I trust anybody with my morning news is all bullshit, but it feels to me like a comeback. I don't think he'll ever do morning news again. You don't think so? Okay, mark my words. Okay. Maybe not morning news. I'm putting it, I'm putting it in the notebook.
Starting point is 00:12:59 If you put it in the notebook, it's not going to happen. We just have to put it here on cellulite. Everybody knows. And there's a string of these like Charlie Rose apparently is trying to get back into doing it's not gonna happen. We just have to put it here on cellulite. Everybody knows. And there's a string of these like Charlie Rose apparently is trying to get back into doing something too. Wasn't he also didn't he also have a blow job button or something Charlie Rose? I mean, there was some kind of scandal, but there were so many there for a string of time. Well, it good. Cut out a bunch of, I say amen amen TJ and Amy are completely like
Starting point is 00:13:30 I don't want to Negate the Relationship because sometimes you just run into the hard ones with the hard ones Chris. He's he's what he is I love what people say that because I said it for a very long time. Yes, the hot ones with the hot ones Be right back the police are currently arresting me for breaking into my own house It is what it is and all has a purpose Chrissy. Could you call the bail's bondsman for me? I certainly would appreciate it as a purpose, Chrissy. Could you call the Bales Bonds of Inform me? I certainly would appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:14:04 So I just know, I know and I know deep down, and I feel the the ebb and the flow of these kind of things. Matt's trying to make a comeback. That's why he showed up at the wedding. Base first with his new love, because he hasn't been seen anywhere for like five years. Then all of a sudden he shows up at this morning show wedding. And then TJ and Amy are definitely on the track, the normalization of cheating
Starting point is 00:14:30 on your husband and life because they got divorced and everything ended up happy for them too. Now, they're together also. If you've ever been in a situation where you've dated someone close to the other person that you dated, no, never, how do you do that? You just never run in the same circles. to the other person that you dated? No. No, never. How do you do that? No. You just never run in the same circles? You run in the same circles, but they're all flimmets. They're the person's friend, or they're my friend's,
Starting point is 00:14:53 ex-boyfriend, or something like that. Your friend's ex-boyfriend would definitely be one of those situations where if you came into contact with a metaparty or something like that, wouldn't you feel a certain sense of like, oh my God, I feel like weird about showing you to this party. Oh, I thought you were saying would I ever hook up?
Starting point is 00:15:11 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, what I'm saying is that. Oh, yes. Yes, I have. Yeah, I was wondering how many circles of friends you have because I have like, I don't know. I have like a... I thought you were saying have you ever been
Starting point is 00:15:22 in a situation where you've hooked up with like, you know, while you've had a boyfriend or a girlfriend? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, whatever. Strange, strangeness. It feels really odd to walk in, but like I was thinking about this last night, you don't have 15 circles of friends, I mean, some people do, but you don't really have 15 circles of friends. I have more like a crescent moon of friends. I don't even have one circle of friends, right? I have like a quarter of a circle of friends,
Starting point is 00:16:01 but it's in that pile of friendships, in that extended pile of friendships is where normally you would find somebody that you would date. I mean, I guess if it's not 2023, you're on the same. But even then, you know, if you're 25 something and you're here in Atlanta and you're on the dating, you're on the scene. Yeah, and you're on the scene, aren't you going to happen to run into the same kind of people? Right? Every big town is really just a small town. You're on the scene. Yeah, and you're on the scene. Aren't you gonna happen to run into the same kind of people? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:25 Right? Every big town is really just a small town. And there's probably more of that now actually, because of just all the hookups that happen on the app. Yeah, I got to imagine. And then the next thing you know, you're at a party with a guy that you hooked up with, and then he's with somebody else.
Starting point is 00:16:38 He's with somebody new. And you're with somebody else. Yeah. We just saw him last week. I don't know. Do you ever, like, when you were out on the scene in the bars and stuff like that, did you ever walk into like a bar or a club and then see an ex boyfriend and you were with your new significant other? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Like music,
Starting point is 00:16:59 out of the guise music or something. And how did you handle it? Just hello or you've ran away? Yeah, I didn't say anything. Yeah, okay, that's the best policy. Best policy is to run away from your acts. I saw that one girl that I dated, like Esther and I were just brand spanking though. She was, we were here back from Switzerland and we decided to go to a movie, locally, here.
Starting point is 00:17:19 We go to this movie and there's two doors. It's like an L-shaped building and there's two doors. There's one on each face of the L, right? And so we are walking into the entrance and out of the exit on the other side of the L, walks who I think is my ex-girlfriend, right? And I mean, I could not have gone faster to open that door for Astrid and hustle her in the door
Starting point is 00:17:42 and she got it right away. She was like, is that your ex girlfriend? And I was like, how did you know that? And I go, I don't really know because I didn't take a second look but the first look indicated that it clearly might be and she's like, are you scared of her? And I was like, actually, yes, I am scared of her.
Starting point is 00:17:58 That's the part of me that you get. The part of me that doesn't need to ever be in that particular circle of friends again. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And so I always feel like the best policy unless you have just a good level of communication, like there are some exits that I see I'm perfectly fine with. Sure.
Starting point is 00:18:15 I still interact with those dead. Yeah, that's it. It depends on how things end. That's it. Well everything ends shitty, but it's how quickly you get over the shittiness, is it? Because it always stings when you get broken up with. Yeah. It's how short is the shitty period?
Starting point is 00:18:28 That's that's what happened. What happened to was there a cheating situation? Yeah. Was there a stealing money situation? Steal your money. Are there police involved? What happened? Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:18:39 That's true. That's true. So that's true. I try and stay on the level. I usually am friends with my exes, right? Usually because they realize that I wasn't quite the man I had they had hoped I was going to be and decided to back out easily. And so I'm just always in this like, I don't know, I'm forgiving mood, but I'm in a rather
Starting point is 00:18:59 equanimous mood about my exes. I'm like, oh, we were, we had a moment. And it was a reason for that moment. Sure. So I want to respect the moment. But at the end of the day, there are certainly a few that if I never saw again, I would be perfectly okay with that. And if I see them out, I am going to run away from them. That's right. That is the TJ Amy situation. How much you want to make a bet that the other two on the other side of that equation have a run. Don't walk away from teaching. Maybe when we see them on New York Street came to the wedding.
Starting point is 00:19:29 They didn't go to the wedding. Oh, they did. They did not go to the wedding. They just announced around the same time the wedding. They were together and that does happen quite a lot of. Yeah, you're grieving and you find us exactly. Yeah, you have the bond who knows better about being cheated on Then the spouse of the person who you've been cheated on. Yeah, that's exactly.
Starting point is 00:19:49 There's some reasoning there. There's some reasoning there that makes sense. Well, they probably all hung out together anyways. Oh, yeah, they were, yeah, they're hosts. Apparently the husband of the couples were hanging out. Yes, they were like hanging out with their own children. They were close, like the families were close, apparently, according to really trashy magazines
Starting point is 00:20:07 that I read online. According to those magazines, they were close. Like TJ was Uncle TJ, and this other guy was Uncle Ron, or whatever his name was. Call him dad now. Yeah, yeah. He went from Uncle to daddy. Listen, it's just a name change,
Starting point is 00:20:18 and he's sleeping with mommy. And don't mind those noises in the bedroom. That's just mommy having good sex for once. And good for them. I don't agree those noises in the bedroom. That's just mommy having good sex for once. And good for them. I don't agree with the cheating, but now that you're there, you might as well make the best of it. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:20:33 Yeah. It's not exactly probably what a therapist would say, but Ryan's philosophy on cheating. Well, it didn't work out, but now that you got, listen, I'm really sad that you cheated on me, but now that you're there, make the best of it for me, will you?
Starting point is 00:20:49 Please, I wanna be friends, can we all be friends? Can I still be Uncle Brian? Not daddy Brian? Of my 12 to 13 children. All right, let's take our first break. We got some good stuff for you today, Chrissy. You're gonna want to stay tuned. You have to stay tuned, they're gonna want to stay tuned.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Sounds good. Alright, we'll be back after these messages. Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad. It's my job. Now go to tcbpodcast.com for all of our audio and video content and get your little booty over to youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited video episodes. Want a chat? Leave us a voicemail at 626-ask-tcb3. To embarrass for your voice to be on the show, we understand. Texas instead, at 855-tcb8383. Can't even do that? No worries, just follow us on TikTok at TCP Podcast and on Instagram at the commercial
Starting point is 00:21:46 break. And if you can't even be seen doing that, just listen to these sponsors and let's get back to the show. Hey everybody, want to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Factor? Okay, do you want to know what the single biggest challenge for me as a single person was? Shopping for, pre and cooking nutritious meals. Do you want to know what the biggest challenge for me as a human with 25 to 60 family members living in my house?
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Starting point is 00:23:24 We also want to thank Factor for being a sponsor of slash commercial break five zero and get fifty percent off we also want to think factor for being a sponsor of the commercial break hey people are asking so i thought i would give an update on my balls and fantastic hey it's my nuts, my DD canters. I will tell you this, the, the sector, me, what I didn't know, I didn't expect anything because I have no reference point. And I've never had any kind of major operation except for the back of my throat while I was wide awake. And that was a nightmare situation. So this was by comparison rather pleasant compared to them sticking a scalpel down the back
Starting point is 00:24:05 of my throat while I was breathing in a way. But I will say this, it also wasn't as easy as I thought it was going to be. Everybody tells you, couple days of ice, you'll be fine. Couple days of ice, you'll be fine. And your husband, Jeff, was wonderful. He also guided me through like a, I don't know, like a nutsooth sauer. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:24:27 Like a, a boot of balls. Yeah, he was the boot of balls. Say, hey buddy, how you doing? What are the sharpest? Yeah. Take the people up the ball. That's right, a scrotum's Sherpa. A Scroach Sherpa.
Starting point is 00:24:41 He was a Scroach Sherpa and a ball boot of sitting way up on top of the mountain. Hey buddy, how you doing? I got Jeff of the mountain. Hey buddy, how you doing? I got Jeff's voice down. Hey buddy, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good Jeff, how are you? Yeah, good man, listen, I used to be your best friend. I used to those potatoes, buddy.
Starting point is 00:24:52 Get them real nice and cold. Nice and cold, every 20 minutes, nice and cold. I said, okay. And the thing that I think, the thing that I think is most difficult with a vasectomy is having all these fucking children around with a vasectomy. Well, yeah, you did mention how. It is like one of the main squarely.
Starting point is 00:25:12 One time, 30 fucking times this kid, who is the apple of my eye. He's my first, I love him, we're buddies. He's my best friend. I love the kid. But the second I said, boo boo on my balls, it was as if a magnet was on my balls and his hands and his feet had the opposite magnet. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:25:33 He's up to the bed with me the other night. Comes running in whatever time, midnight, you know. Okay, come on up here buddy, sleep with me. And he is just throughout the night, no matter which way I lay, he is finding a way to keep me in the fucking, whew, ow, ow, ow, ow, son, stop doing that. Ow, ow, ow, stop it, I never realized how sensitive ones nuts could be
Starting point is 00:25:57 until they're swollen black and blue. Now, I just feel like two baseballs being knocked around by my kids. This is the most difficult part. Yeah, I can only imagine that. It's the children. And then they tell you like not to lift anything over 10 pounds for a period of time.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Well, there's nothing in this house that weighs less than 200 pounds, including the jug of milk that I carry. It even says that. Do not carry jugs of milk. It's giving you an example. And I'm like, jug of milk, how's that gonna hurt me? But I picked up one of my kids for like three minutes
Starting point is 00:26:26 and it hurt me. I don't know how your balls and your arms are connected. I guess when I lift my arms to my balls lift, no, not really. So my balls in my arms. Well, that's all like related to your core, right? That goes down, so. Yeah, I didn't know my balls were part of my core.
Starting point is 00:26:41 And I know that, I would have been working out a lot sooner than that. Three E's, get your sons feet away from those goddamn desiccals where they cut off and the slides start black and blue feeling simply. Can you just please keep those feet out there? I'm doing my best I'm trying. I'm trying to harden up. The whole situation down here is inflamed and upsetting. Can you please stop? Okay, listen, I'm gonna try and I'm gonna try and keep my kid away from you. I promise I will
Starting point is 00:27:20 Yeah, it's just exacting it's revenge from all the years of me yelling at it. So it's just she didn't on the floor every time you bend over we start playing. Thanks, I appreciate it. Spines not, see you later. Brian's DD canter check it out. Yeah, the dog is the other one too, the dog anytime. Here's the thing about the dog. She's just so lovely with the children. It's the only reason to keep her around quite frankly and the fact that I own her. So probably can't just throw out in the street.
Starting point is 00:27:42 But the only reason, one of the only reasons why I do have affinity for this dog is she is so goddamn gentle with these children. She honestly is. They pug, they pull, they push, they punch her, they kick her, they throw her across the floor, they open doors in her face, they roll over with strollers, and she doesn't do a thing. She's just so freaking sweet about it. However, one of the things that I dislike. She knows those children feed her from the drop.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Yes. Oh my God. That's how she's about to say. She knows where her bread is but and it is not with me. I give her treats all day long, but where the real good food is, is my smallest one on that high chair. And every time we turn our heads she's like Feeding the dog they have a communication they talk to each other They're not saying a word but they talk to each other. I see my daughter
Starting point is 00:28:32 She's like staring at the dog as he's walking around and as soon as the dog comes close She just leans over a little bit and gives her yeah, and then I'm like uh hey, listen, you can't feed that dog. That dog is bad enough as it is. We don't need any additional drama with that dog, but they have a level of communication. So anytime I sit the small one on the floor, the dog instantly attacks her. Like, you know, licking her face and if they're God forbid, they're not coming out of her nose. Apparently, that's like a fountain of new treats or something. So the dog is just eating the boogers right out of her nose and I'm like, God, Blue, please stop that. Can you please leave it alone? But
Starting point is 00:29:11 here's the issue with the vasectomy and with that particular problem. Is that any time that I sit down, the dog jumps instantly into my lap, right? Because she wants to get in between me and the kid. Because I think she believes that's where the attention is or some new bookers or something, I'm not sure. But she jumps on me and Chrissy, it hurts so fucking bad. I mean, it really does. I feel like I'm gonna be in permaflinch. Do you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:29:35 Yeah, you need to have some kind of protection. I think you can wear a cup. But yeah, I just, I didn't even wear a cup when I played football for one day in high school. I didn't wear a cup. I played football for one day in high school. I didn't wear a cup. I found them to be really uncomfortable. If you were... Which is going to be more uncomfortable, Brian.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Well, I mean, I'm wearing a cup for a few days and letting things heal naturally or definitely complications. Okay, true. But I feel like I might wear a cup than any time I put on pants, I'm going to look like Donald Trump with that little scrunchle bunch of right in his penis area. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know where it is. I'm around the house.
Starting point is 00:30:09 Yeah, even around the house, I don't know. I don't want my kids to make fun of me. I feel like I've been high school. I want to be the cool dad, you know? And they're at that age where they say everything. So go for the vasectomy and I come home. And I hadn't thought about this before the vasectomy, but when I get home, I'm like, my kids can never see this. Like, there's
Starting point is 00:30:31 no more taking a shower with daddy for the next couple of weeks at all. They can't see this. This is to disturb them for life. And so also, I got to be careful about how I position this, right? If I say, you know, oh, daddy got his ball snip, they're going to go to school and say, daddy's got his ball snip. That's what they're going to say. So I say you know oh daddy got his ball snip they're gonna go to school and say daddy's got his ball snip that's what they're going to say so I say oh I have a boo-boo right oh where did you get the boo-boo well I got it from the doctor why did the doctor give you a boo-boo well it was planned boo-boo like we planned this boo-boo now you're going down a wrong battle that's I think one of my daughters is in full now the doctor doctor gives boo boo's. Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:31:07 The doctor gives boo boo's roaches fly out of those boo boo's and my daughter is in full penis mode and I don't mean like she just can't stop saying the word. She's like, Daddy, how's your boo boo on the penis? And I'm like, okay, listen, kid, you can't say that word out loud. That's an anatomically correct word, but I would really appreciate it if you didn't say that word out loud. That's an anatomically correct word, but I would really appreciate it if you didn't go around repeating that. But how's your penis? Okay, stop it.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Because there's what she said. She goes, I don't want you to have a boo boo on your penis. And I'm like, listen, I don't wanna have one either, kid. But you gotta stop saying that word. Drop them off at school. Oh, excuse me, pick them up from school. I'm at standing outside. You know, these principal comes out, takes all the names of the parents that are waiting outside, you know, so they can shove them out one by one or two by two or whatever it is. And as soon
Starting point is 00:31:57 as she comes running down this little walkway, she's like, Daddy, how's your penis? And I'm like, oh, no! I had a thing. There's a thing that went on with my penis. It's a, we didn't teach her that, that's a thing. I'm like explaining to people who aren't even there. I'm like, she'd never seen my penis. She doesn't like my penis. That's not a thing.
Starting point is 00:32:16 She just said the word penis, okay? You got it? And for. I know I'm gonna get a note from that fucking, the fucking teacher. How's your penis? Kids and vasectomies. There's a whole level of complication. So if you're thinking about getting that procedure done,
Starting point is 00:32:32 plan accordingly, especially if you have small children, put little, I don't know, put little like, you know how you get that styrofoam sometimes, you know, that soft styrofoam and packaging materials. Save those for when you get a vasectomy. And then what you do is you wrap, you tape that styrofoam and packaging materials. Save those for when you get a vasectomy. And then what you do is you wrap, you tape that styrofoam around your children's hands and feet and knees.
Starting point is 00:32:50 That way, if you're running down the hallway, they don't smack you in the peanuts too hard. Which is like the favorite game to play now. I don't know what happened, but every time I turn around, my son's like, stop daddy, right in my penis. And I'm like, stop, stop, what are you doing? I already told you, I have a boo-boo on my nether regions.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Daddy, how's your nether regions? No, no, no, no, they don't know about my nether regions. It's just a family joke, family inside joke, family joke. Everything's fine. I paid the, I did pay for the school, right? Okay, just checking. We're good for the next couple of months, right? Yeah, you can't like kick them out for any reason. One of the teachers came out the other
Starting point is 00:33:28 day and she goes, your secret is safe with me. And I was like, what? And she goes, I talked to her, why is your secret is safe with me? And I'm like, what are you talking about? And she goes, I know you have two lives. You have the one here. You're so sweet and nice. And then I hear your show And she's like two different people I don't even know about it Chrissy My kids are never gonna get a college This is gonna live on the internet forever and people are gonna be like nope out
Starting point is 00:34:05 Talking about the boo-boo penis out. If he does boo-boo now. I mean, everybody's got something on the internet at this point, so that's true. That's true. I, I, yeah. I feel like everybody does have something on the internet. I feel like our future Supreme Court justices are currently doing only fancy. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:34:20 Just to get by in life. And I guess in some way, I appreciate that, that we're all naked and afraid at the end of the day. Like we're all just stripped out. We all have a boo boo on our penis. And some way to hurt for her. Sure. Yeah, but that, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:34:38 it kind of levels the playing field in a way. Yeah. It feels like it levels the playing field in a way. It gives us an opportunity to see things we otherwise wouldn't see. Speaking of that, my son walked into the, I was taking a shower of the day and he walked into the bathroom and he like instantaneously was like, is that your boo boo? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, okay, bye,
Starting point is 00:34:56 daddy. Right out the door. That's one way to get him out of there. Well, listen, that is one way to get him out of there. Because normally, if any of those kids walk into that bathroom and I'm pooping, peeing, or taking a shower, or any other activity that's going to take me a few minutes, you know what happens? I get the conversation that never ends.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why do you brush your teeth like that? Why do you floss like that? Why are you pulling your pants up like that? Why does your shit smell so bad like that? Oh my God, guys, come on. This is not the time to have the conversation,
Starting point is 00:35:24 but I told you, it's my morning press conference. It is. I'm there to let the kids know what's going on. That everything's okay. Answer their questions. You know, why is Mickey Mouse not talk at Disney World? What's the one that I got the other day? We were watching like some movie.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Why does Mickey Mouse not talk, right? And I was like, well, you know how, you know, I've been lying to you this whole time. Right. Mickey Mouse isn't real. Oh, you don't know that. Well, let me tell you now Mickey Mouse isn't real. And I've been lying to you the whole time. It's the hardest conversation to have with those kids. Like I said, Rubble lamp, 15 minutes a day. I just want them to understand what a 47 year old understands. And that way we can have a communicado like two adults. Yes. But it doesn't happen.
Starting point is 00:36:11 I'm still just a guy with a boo-boo on my penis. You're just, you're learning as you go. You're doing the best you can. I am doing the best though. That's how we can ask. And I know that Christine is gonna name this penis boo-boo. I know she is.
Starting point is 00:36:21 I just know it. Sometimes I have to tell Christine, I'm like, you gotta settle down in the titles a little bit. We do want to have sponsors at some point in the future. So just I don't down on the titles. She's good at it. But then, you know, sometimes she gets she goes a little extra commercial break. You know what I'm saying? I wish you just tile it doing the best we can. Doing the best we can with a booboo on our penis. the best we can. Doing the best we can with a boo boo on our penis.
Starting point is 00:36:44 Let's take our second break and we'll be back to talking about some Christmas stuff. If you want to talk about Christmas stuff, let me know why not. It's Christmas. We should talk about Christmas stuff. Hello again, my little podcast pals. It's Christina and I am just here to remind you once again to go on over to tcbpodcast.com because of that is where all of our episodes live. Want to get involved with the show?
Starting point is 00:37:11 Leave us a voicemail at 626asktcb3. If you don't want your voice played on the show because look, I get it, I'm only here under duress. You can text us instead at 855tcb8383. And as always, please remember to go follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And also, don't forget about our precious little YouTube channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:37:37 I promise those videos are worth your turn. Now, let's listen to some sponsors, and then we'll get back to whatever they were talking about. What kind of Christmas decorations you guys do over there? I mean, I'm in the soccer house. So, you got some Christmas decorations. You guys go outside inside, inside outside. How do you do it? Yeah, we do a little bit outside,
Starting point is 00:38:01 and then we do a tree and mantle stockings and stuff inside. This year's been a little crazy. Obviously, a lot of stuff going on, so I haven't gone all out, but yeah, we decorate. Yeah, we do the inside. Yeah. But then the outside feels like a beautiful lot of life. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:38:18 Thank you very much. I did not, I got the idea. Even if I wanted to, Astrid would back me away from it. I tried five years on a road to get involved in the Christmas tree, but after the first year where we did it together, and she had to go behind me and redo it, the way that she,
Starting point is 00:38:32 well, any other human being would have done it. She has a vision that says that maybe we should put lights on both sides of the tree, right? Right. Right. It's just like stringing them up where people could see them, and then the whole back was just blank, right? And she's like, hey, listen, let's...
Starting point is 00:38:48 I want you to let me handle this. And you sit and make some hot chocolate. Actually, I'll make the hot chocolate. You just sit. Yeah, you just sit. And so we don't do a whole bunch. We do a lot inside. But then outside, I feel like is a little bit overkill
Starting point is 00:39:04 given the fact that we have so much going the fuck on. Yeah. a whole bunch. We do a lot inside, but then outside I feel like is a little bit overkill, given the fact that we have so much going the fuck on. I can't spend all that time outside, and I don't have any money to pay somebody to do it, so I think inside is a, that's good. I think so too. You walk inside, it feels like Christmas, you walk outside, it doesn't feel like anything, but that's okay. My neighbors got plenty of decorations. I'll look at their house when I feel rather sad about my, front of my house. But there are people that take this way too far. We all know these. There are countries and there's a country in the Philippines, I think, that celebrates
Starting point is 00:39:33 Christmas all year round. And I think we actually reviewed some videotape from that first couple of episodes. But there are people here who also take Christmas, it's like anything. They just take it too far. It's like me in the Dictraicy collection or my kids and Mickey, like it's just too much. It's take it too far. There's too much of it out there, right? And so I thought for Christmas, what we should do is we should find one of these people and we should see what they're up to because if there's anybody that gets into the Christmas spirit, it's the people who never take their Christmas trees down, which I find to be rather strange. You want to people who never take their Christmas trees down, which I find to be rather strange.
Starting point is 00:40:07 You wanna take a look? Sure. All right, let's take a look at this lady who loves gingerbread and Christmas. Oh, wait, hold on, Chrissy. I was trolling on the internet. As you do. As I do like to do.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Sorry, I'm still waiting up. How to make a gingerbread house. Oh, this would be fun. It's ginger, we could let this be your house. So for those of you that can't see this, because you're probably not watching it on YouTube. Thanks guys, thanks everybody for not watching it on YouTube. The gingerbread, she's got a gingerbread recipe book
Starting point is 00:40:44 and then standing next to her is a six foot tall gingerbread man. Yeah, like made of cloth or something. Yeah. Yeah. Who's grandma's this? Come pick her up. And I'm gingerbread obsessed. I feel like I'm defined by my gingerbread collection.
Starting point is 00:41:03 A lot of times when I meet folks on the street or whatever, they recognize me and they tell me, you're the gingerbread lady. No, what they say is, you're the crazy lady, and then to your face, they say, yeah, that makes the gingerbread stuff. Don't give me flowers, don't give me chocolates. Give me a gingerbread. Mom's passion for gingerbread, I think, is a good thing.
Starting point is 00:41:23 It's sweet, it's innocent, and it's not scary or freaky in any way. I'm not sure that's how definition of a problem with something works. Ha, ha, ha. Well, after all the fetish things and whatever strange addictions that we've done, maybe she's right. Well, maybe she's right, but you know, Perkiset seems all warm and fuzzy too, but you know, eventually you have a problem. This clock is really special to me.
Starting point is 00:41:47 My daughter Tiffany gave it to me, and I think it's very cute. Oh my God, do you like gingerbread? Eh? No. I don't like gingerbread. I don't know, there's something about gingerbread houses that doesn't scare me.
Starting point is 00:42:02 I think I must have been an accident with gingerbread when I was a kid. I swear to God, because there's something about gingerbread houses that doesn't scare me. I think I must have been an accident with gingerbread when I was a kid. I swear to God, because there's something about gingerbread that kind of turns me off a little bit. Yeah. It's not that it makes me like nervous. I just don't like it. Like when I see gingerbread heizes,
Starting point is 00:42:15 I'm like, I'm not interested in that. The Ritz does like a huge, like a big gingerbread village thing. I know, I know. That's taking away over a kill. After just five years collecting gingerbread items, Tamara Holland, a valtavist of Virginia, has amassed an 800-piece collection worth almost $3,000 and an all-consuming passion for the popular Christmas. Five years. You've only been doing for the popular Christmas. Five years.
Starting point is 00:42:45 You've only been doing this for five years. 800 pieces. 800 pieces. And the dollar amount of the total value of them is $3,000. Yeah, it doesn't look quite a quick. No, meaning you can get $60 for it on eBay. That's what you got. Great.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Every time I have a day off, I'll go and look for Gingerbread. I'll go to thrift stores. I'll go to name brand stores. It doesn't really matter. I've got a big dreaming of where I'm going to place the items. Where exactly is a thrift store carrying Gingerbread? Isn't that something that has got like a finite life on it? Yeah, a fresh Gingerbread.
Starting point is 00:43:21 I don't know. This might be more of like a permanent Gingerbread. It's a way to make gingerbread. I don't know, this might be more of like a permanent gingerbread situation. Make gingerbread, I don't know. Gingerbread related items that are plastic or metal. Because I don't think you can just walk into a thrift store and go, where's your gingerbread section? Ha ha ha ha. Excuse me, I'm looking for your gingerbread section.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Oh honey, we're all sold out of gingerbreads. What I'm on the look for. I'll think about my collection, 24 hours a day. The doctor prescribed Xanax for this lady five years ago and her whole world changed her something like how do you just get into gingerbread? That's such an advanced age, I don't know. We'll start it for Tamara when one very special gingerbread lady entered her life.
Starting point is 00:44:04 This is Miss Ginger. She's my pride and joy. Well, the OG Ginger. Well, she needs Christina over there to help her name things because the gingerbread lady is not very original. Miss Ginger at an antique store that was going out of business.
Starting point is 00:44:20 And at the time, she was on clearance. So I came home and asked my husband if I could get her. She came home one day and she told me that she wanted a junior breath later and she told me it was $45. And I asked her was she crazy. I just don't see giving $45 best junior breath later, but she act like she wanted very bad.
Starting point is 00:44:39 So I just want to hit and gave her the money for it. Made her happy. Well happy wife happy life, you know what they say. She came home and said she wanted to spend 30 cents on some gingerbread meditated materials and I said, who in the fuck spends 35 cents on gingerbread related materials? Well, I was at the strip club at the cash machine and I got around $2. I was putting oil in my brand new Harley and I said, well, I guess if you got us a Ben 35 cents taken out of the
Starting point is 00:45:10 coin jar, she came home one day with an eyeball popped out and she said it's gonna cost $3,000 to put this eyeball back in and I said, you got two? What you worried about woman? I really don't have a way to describe the love that I have for Ms. Ginger. I just know that I love her. She means so much to me. She's like part of my family. I mean, if someone... Well, I can see why after meeting your husband,
Starting point is 00:45:36 you might fall back off with that ginger lady. Exactly, I can see how that would get up first. You have to permission to spend $45 on something you enjoy. Now I'm feeling bad for this lady. Coming and offer me a million dollars for Miss Ginger. I will not let her go. Oh, I think your husband has something to say about that. If you got offered a million dollars. Oh.
Starting point is 00:45:55 While Miss Ginger may be her most prized piece, the doll is just one element of her extensive and often edible gingerbread collection. Oh, it smells so lovely. Tamara bakes about 300 gingerbread cookies every Christmas. And because each one is special to her, she preserves several each year to become permanent members of her gingerbread family. Ha! I decided to keep you as a souvenir!
Starting point is 00:46:25 Ha ha ha ha ha! Now picture like, like, black or in it up or something to preserve. I know, this poor gingerbread people. No! No, no, no, no! I want to be one who got eaten. Don't put me in the freezer! Please don't put me in the freezer! No! No! It's good going to the wicked witch of the gingerbread! No! I feel so bad for those gingerbreads. I never get eaten.
Starting point is 00:46:48 And why are you keeping them in your freezer? For what occasion? Well, she's giving those away. Oh, I thought she said she kept them. She just keeps a few from the collection. You think they lack her those up? Yeah. As you can see, I have many in here.
Starting point is 00:47:01 I even have a batch in here left from the year 2009. She has become so obsessed as her old. Yeah. Those are old and all those look very sad. They took those smile. Listen, I'm not fooled by the smiles on the gingerbread. You can only freeze things for so long. Yeah, that's true. Well, I guess you could freeze stuff forever, but you know, Walt Disney is still frozen. I guess you could freeze stuff forever, but you know Walt Disney still frozen She adds it to nearly everything she eats There's a lot of things that you can do with ginger and Sometimes I experiment why am I a smoker but I read some so I put cigarettes in my gingerbread occasionally I I put some you know cowboy crystal meth there, whatever keeps the kids coming back
Starting point is 00:47:45 for more gingerbread. Where? That you could smoke ginger. What? As a substitute for tobacco. The first thing I did was I chopped up some gingerbread, put it in the sun to dry. Now I'm going to roll this into a cigarette.
Starting point is 00:48:05 She's smoking a doobie worth a ginger. Ha ha. She's fucking fucking a GJ. It's a GJ, you know what I'm saying? A ginger joint. Yeah, I know the ginger is good for you to eat, but... Smok. I think we have found out why this lady started collecting gingerbread.
Starting point is 00:48:22 All of a sudden. It's because she likes to get high on the stuff. And I know who knew. Should we try and smoke ginger and see what happens? No. I used to smoke bamboo. It can't be worse than that, right? And I think she's missing the point of, well, how you quit cigarettes
Starting point is 00:48:35 to then go smoking ginger. I'm sure that's not good for your lungs either. That's what I was thinking. It's got to have a weird taste, too. Her homemade ginger cigarettes are just one of the many ideas she has for using her favorite spice. Can't babe in ginger? Would it be like, you know, some people use lalak or chamomile or something like that. I'm wondering if the ginger would have a soothing, relaxing, you know, to the scent.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Staying in the back of your throat, open up your nostrils wide open, kind of scent. You know what I'm saying? I'm sure those people put ginger and bats. They must. Sure. Yeah. Why not?
Starting point is 00:49:16 I've got that like powdered ginger. Let's see what's up to. I'm gonna sprinkle some in my kid's bath later. Yeah. And see what happens. It would be like a Roman therapy. Even though she has incorporated ginger into just about everything she does,
Starting point is 00:49:33 Tamara still has one gingerbread dream that has yet to be fully realized. Gingerbread sex. I knew it. This girl's into ginger fantasy. She's into ginger fucking. Right now, my home's just a normal home. Not anything girl's into ginger fantasy. She's into ginger fucking right now my homes to so normal home Not anything to do with gingerbread. What would really make this home become a gingerbread house?
Starting point is 00:49:55 Oh, no, she's not gonna try and do it around the house. Well, she's in a trailer, but she yeah, it's probably her husband Probably not gonna allow this. Tamara saved close to $4,000 over three years with the dream of turning her home into an actual gingerbread house. Today, she's about to get one step closer to her dream. By the way, Tamara lives in a trailer. So like one of the ones is attached to the ground.
Starting point is 00:50:23 And here comes a general contractor to tell her how she can change her house Into a gingerbread this guy sees someone coming a mile away Do you trust the contractor who also does trailer gingerbread renovations? I don't know sir No as she meets with a contractor to discuss the logistics Thinking about really wanting to paint my house Can you maybe give me a description of what you would like to do? Well, I wanted to be a brown, possibly a golden brown
Starting point is 00:50:51 or a honey brown. It's very important to get the right shade of gingerbread. Because I feel like if you get the right shade of gingerbread, it's gonna be enticing. It's gonna be like you want to pick off a piece of needed. Oh God, that'll be what she might in the next. I know I'll be picking off pieces of her house. You're in the middle of the fucking sticks exactly who's gonna strive by and wanted I bet your husband has something to say about people coming up trying to pick pieces off your house
Starting point is 00:51:16 This is visual aid so he can see the exact color she's looking for This is what I want my house to look like. Okay. I've never had a request like this in over 22 years of painting. This is very unusual, but I think she's going to enjoy it. But I need to pay check, so I'm going to do it. Now Tamar has found the perfect shade of gingerbread. Mike and his team get to work on painting the house. Oh my god, that is doo-doo brown. Like a light doo-doo brown.
Starting point is 00:51:43 That's like coffee and cream Well, I say oh my god, but then they show a background scene of all the other trailers They are also all colored the exact same color. It's a gingerbread. It's a little neighborhood Wake me up. I feel like I'm in a dream, but it's actually, it's going to be true. She thinks the transformation of her home is complete, but her daughter Tiffany knows it's only the beginning. My mom's been staying with me while I had a gingerbread house painted and I snuck out super early this morning before she got up and did all the decorating.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Let me ask a question. Why do you have to stay somewhere when they're painting the outside of your house? Well, I guess just for comfort. And now they go and put all the Christmas decorations at the front. Oh, boy. Now I'm going to give her a big surprise.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Two if I can't wait. Oh my God, I thought she was driving. You have to see this. Like in the television show, the daughter is driving her mom to see this and she's got a blindfold on when the initial shot came out and I thought the lady was driving with a blindfold. I'm so excited. It's very exciting.
Starting point is 00:52:55 I can't wait for you to see it. You're gonna be so happy. Don't let me pay a sal. What if she just falls over when she gets out? Oh my God. It's doo-doo, Brown. Just, no. Okay. What if she just falls over when she gets out? Oh my God. It's doo-doo, Brad. Just the way I'm on. Can you walk?
Starting point is 00:53:10 I don't know. I don't know. I'm so nervous. I hope they got the color right. Okay, Mom, we're here. Are you excited? Yeah, very. It's finally time.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Oh, gosh. Here we go. Okay. Ah. Ah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. He's so happy. Okay He's so happy holy shit
Starting point is 00:53:34 Dream come true I've never seen anything lucky except an unreal their gingerbread house I've ever seen. Oh my gosh. It's so pretty, baby. I can't. It's pretty. Oh my gosh. We Tiffany took the blindfold off and I actually saw my home. I can't explain to you how it made me feel. It was just so overwhelming.
Starting point is 00:53:59 Is this what you thought it would look like? It definitely is overwhelming. I will give you that. Your house is a literal gingerbread house. It's Christmas all year round. Most definitely. It's what I've visioned in my dreams. Is it your perfect gingerbread color?
Starting point is 00:54:15 Perfect. I'm glad you're here. Our family, two dishes. I've been wearing half-eat-a-put-a-up in my house. Wow, well, I gotta tell you this. Not for me. Yeah. But she's not hurting anybody.
Starting point is 00:54:29 No, and she seemed extremely happy. God, sometimes I wish it could just that little could make me that happy. Exactly. I'm so complicated. I'm so complicated. I need so much just to feel a little bit of happiness. And then I watch someone like that.
Starting point is 00:54:44 Just look at her do-do brown house with some candy canes through and across the front lawns And she's just crying and I'm like wow Part of me is really envious. Yeah, how quickly that lady got happy Send us some money. Will you so I could just have like a moment of happiness? But you do that. Could you do that, Frunkle Brian? Can you send some money for my Boo Boo penis? Please! The Boo Boo!
Starting point is 00:55:08 The Boo Boo penis! We're all going Boo Boo penis hunting. Okay, listen. I don't want to drag it out. I don't want to keep you here any longer than I have to. So guess what? Go to tcbpodcast.com. Find out more information about Chrissy and I.
Starting point is 00:55:24 You can buy our gingerbread houses and gingerbread related materials. We're also selling G-Joyns. If you want some G-Joyns, I'm going to start rolling those myself and selling them on the internet with the tcb logo on them. So get your ginger joints, kid. Also you can get your free Piggy Fronting Sticker. That's true. You know, they both sound ridiculous, but one of them is true.
Starting point is 00:55:43 You can get your Piggy Frontinging sticker by hitting the contact us button. Little drop down menu says I want my sticker send your address and Assert will send it off in seven to ten days. If you want us to sign it, we'll be happy to do that. We've done that lots. If you want us to say something nice, you know, Send in some money and then we'll be happy to consider the offer. All the audio, all the video, you know what to do. Go to tcbpodcast.com. 626, ask tcb, the number three, one, 626, ask tcb,
Starting point is 00:56:13 and the number three. toll free from anywhere in the world. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, ask Brian's mom, ask tcb. We're taking it all. We're getting ready for season number five. So load up the questions, send them to us. We're getting ready for season number five. So load up the questions send them to us. We might do like a year in review on the not a year in review, but just kind of
Starting point is 00:56:32 Call out all the stuff that we didn't talk about from the T.C.B. Voice mail and the notebook. Oh the notebooks gonna take a couple episodes Add the commercial break on Instagram T.C.B. podcast on TikTok and YouTube dot com slash the commercial break on Instagram, tcbpodcast on TikTok and youtube.com. Slash THE commercial break! If you want to watch our videos, because you know, you don't watch our videos, go watch our videos. I sound, I'm not a sound angry, I won't be angry, I'm happy. Alright Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.
Starting point is 00:56:58 But I'll tell you that I love you. Best of you. Best of you. Best of you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye! I get ass! I get ass!

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