The Commercial Break - Shh...Just Look At My Body!

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

Bryan takes us on a winding journey through a Choose Your Own Adventure that was born in the hellscape that is his mind... Vending machines for clean pipes, needles, and narcan Decriminalize it all!... When you tell somebody they can’t, that’s all they want to do Secret Southern Burning Man Festival Bryan went and wore a kilt with no knickers, as is tradition Don’t drink anyone's magic water Do your thing, and don’t harm anyone AI is getting scary Would you rather, as given to us by AI It’s a Choose Your Own Adventure! Ten hits of acid or fuck Frankie B? Bryan couldn’t look at Frankie B intimately We’re really diving into these situations! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Where's good bitch? We are here in Milan. Drinking spot and water and eating some spaghetti. You want some? Please. On this episode of the commercial break. Let's assume that I was attracted to men. I just don't think I could look at Frankie B after. After the wait, I've seen so much of his content
Starting point is 00:00:21 that I don't think I could look at him intimately. Hahaha. Look at my body. Look at my body. Can you see him, like, his bar wire face, like rubbing up against your face and whispering in your ear? Don't say it. Look at my body. The next episode of The commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, Cass and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:00:49 I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and beautiful co-host, Kristen Joy, all the best to you. Chris, best to be right. Best to you all there in the podcast universe. I just read a story. And quite frankly, I think this is an idea whose time has come. Let me explain. Okay.
Starting point is 00:01:06 The New York Post reports that New York has installed the first of what will be some, I don't know if you will call it many, but some vending machines that will, I guess, distribute clean crack pipes, clean needles, lit bombs so you don't burn yourself on the crack pipe. And you know, some general advice on how to stay away from overdoses, then you can also get an arcane through the vending machine too. Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:32 Not give it about 3.6 seconds before this vending machine is broken into and dragged across the street. But I do think this is an idea whose time has come. You ain't gonna stop people from smoking crack who want to smoke crack. Let me tell you You ain't gonna stop people from smoking crack who wanna smoke crack. Let me tell you, no one has stopped me from smoking crack. And I am a successful entrepreneur. I'm a successful business person.
Starting point is 00:01:53 I do business. Yeah. No one's gonna stop people from smoking crack. No one's gonna stop people from smoking crystal meth. It seems like the more we try, the more the deeper we dig the hole. And then now we have a mass incarceration that goes on with certain minority groups. You know the whole story, and I'm going to get political about it.
Starting point is 00:02:12 But the truth is decriminalize it all is what I say. Decriminalize it, take the power from the horrible bad people, bringing drugs into the country, and then the horrible bad people that are selling the drugs here in the country, including myself. And you're just ordering them from across the country for delivery. I just ordered them for, I know, across the country, across the, across the county is more like it. I said, D, where are you at? Why are we, why do we keep on dragging this on?
Starting point is 00:02:44 This silly, silly war on drugs. Why do we keep dragging it on? Who's winning? I agree, no one. Yeah, and now it's just a big narco machine. It's like, you know, tell me that the CIA or the FBI, I don't wanna get down to conspiracy rabbit hole, but tell me that the DEA, the CIA, the FBI,
Starting point is 00:03:00 all the letters, tell me that all the letters don't benefit in some way from this huge jargonaut, you know, multi-hundred billion dollar machine called the War on Drugs, both from the supply side, the demand side, and then the prevention side. It's just a cash cow for everybody involved. So let's call it like we see it. If you really want to make it a cash cow, put it behind a pharmacy counter and let people buy and tax the holy shit out of it like you've done with cigarettes not a smoke cigarettes anymore almost at all ever and That one time a year one time a year one time and I hate it. I just hate it. Yeah, immediately
Starting point is 00:03:36 You're like, I regretted it immediately. I took one dragon regretted it. I was like, okay, I'm done with it but why not just call it like we see it and Take that money and put it toward, at least managing it in some way, shape, or form that makes sense. Now I say this on the backs of Amsterdam, criminalizing drug use out in the streets. So they've been decriminalized for a long time. To the point where, I don't know, because I've never been there,
Starting point is 00:04:06 but my understanding from people who have been there, is it's just like a, it's a flea market for drugs there, basically. Like every corner is a dispensary for something else. For something else, that's right. You walk over here, you get your cocaine, you walk over there, you get your pure Dutch Molly, or what else?
Starting point is 00:04:21 Heroin. Let's keep on naming drugs. Crack. I mean, I don't even know if they do, I don't even know if crack is a thing over there. But, and certainly the weed and the cannabis and the mushrooms and all that stuff, that you can get that go into any coffee shop there, apparently, and, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:35 there's some guy behind the counter ready to school you on the weird and wild ways of weed. But but tenders. The but tenders. You gotta imagine those guys and girls over in Amsterdam are some of the best but tenders that have ever lived. It's been like what, 30 years at the 40 years that they've been doing that?
Starting point is 00:04:52 I was a kid. But why do we keep banging our heads against a wall? People are still dying. Lots of people still caught up in addiction. Then you add on top of a criminal, criminal, the criminal justice system. And basically you've fucked people for life for something that addiction is clearly not
Starting point is 00:05:09 in the control of most addicts, right? And then those of us who just wanna have a little fun every once in a while, let me go have fun on my own terms. And I'll pay the holy shit, I'll pay the right price for it, right? I am willing to pay $10,000 to the first person to deliver crack to the TCB studios.
Starting point is 00:05:25 It's got to be that good, good. Don't give me no shit shit. I want that good, good. You know what I'm talking about? I got to need a Brian ass. Man, you want the real deal? You come over here. Don't go over there.
Starting point is 00:05:38 You ain't get no real Brian ass over there. Why are you doing? Get back over here. Yes. I don't want to be dealing with some hippie, you know. Why are you doing? Get back over here! Hahaha! Yes, I'm angry. I don't want to be dealing with some hippie, you know, there's a 19 year old hippie kid sitting Indian style in his sparsely furniture department, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:56 selling me mushrooms that he grew in his toilet. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'd rather go to the pharmacy, see, I'd rather go to CVS and deal with my pharmacist and say, I really, I'm really sick of my life right now, and I wanna get as twisted as fuck, and let the pharmacist kind of judge whether or not I should be taking all those things at one time,
Starting point is 00:06:14 put a little label on it, I'll pay attention to the label. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Right, well, I think they've tried this before with the whole needle, clean needles. Clean needle-exha-ing. Situated situation, and yeah, and then we have all these groups and then say, well, it's promoting to do it. And it's not.
Starting point is 00:06:29 It's not promoting to do it. People are gonna do it regardless. Now, I will grant them this. That is New Jersey and some other states who have now decriminalized what some consider are the harder drugs, LSD, shrooms, or having a little trouble containing it.
Starting point is 00:06:47 But this goes back to my theory. If you go to Spain and you're seven years old, you're going to be offered wine with dinner in some households. It is not frowned upon. But very rarely do I see anybody in Spain streaking across somebody else's lawn and taking a dump on their driveway while showing their tits and puking out their nose. Right. Well, it's the age old thing of if you tell somebody not to do it, they're going to do
Starting point is 00:07:14 it. And then if also if there's like just some pent up, you know, you haven't been able to get it, you haven't been able to, of course, you're just going to go all out. I remember this from my high school days of, you know't been able to, of course, you're just gonna go all out. Ah! Ah! I remember this from my high school days of, you know, going on this trip, senior trip, and girls that had been repressed all of this time and made to go to church every weekend
Starting point is 00:07:36 and not been able to drink and been lock and key when nuts. Yes. I went to school, Catholic school, all my life, including high school. But I lived in an area where almost everybody in the country lived in an area where most kids went to public school. The public school, and I can only speak about girls because that's what I was attracted to, but the public school girls really weren't wilding out like the Catholic school girls.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Exactly. The Catholic school girls were scratching to get out of the box in so many different ways. Sexually, drugs, alcohol, they would tell you they don't want to do it. They would say that's a bad thing, but then on Friday night at some party, they would be the first one in the bushes.
Starting point is 00:08:20 Because that's how it is. When you tell somebody they can't do something, and let's be honest, the first time you get drunk or the first time you get really high or the first time you take a divedi dab or whatever it is, and you experience this alternate universe that's going on, maybe not so much with alcohol,
Starting point is 00:08:37 but certainly with the chemical induction. Well, you think to yourself, it feels so good, Why is it so bad? It feels so good. Why am I being punished for for this? If the next day is punishment. Well, that's true. Well, that's 20 years down the line when you're still working at the restaurant, trying to keep your life together, sing on a song and a dance. You know what I'm saying? That's when you're thinking about moving in with you. You're just, can I take the room downstairs? So it just makes it much easier. Are the porch or the porch? I'll think about the porch. I don't care. Give me an air mattress.
Starting point is 00:09:13 I'll consider it a five star Ritz Carlton. The reality is, for most of us, is that we inherently, and instinctively know, if you've ever had any casual experiences, like I have, casual experiences with narcotics, then you'll understand that there is a pleasure and there can be a purpose to drugs, quote unquote, drugs, the coined term, drugs. So why is something so horrible for you, feeling so good for you? Feeling so good for you.
Starting point is 00:09:46 In most cases, unless you wake up the next morning, like Chrissy did on Sunday, and you just want to peel your eyeballs out of your head. I was at hangover on Sunday. It was pretty major, right? Yeah, it was worth it. I don't know how you do it, Chrissy. I don't know how you do it.
Starting point is 00:10:03 But maybe it's been so long since I've done it, since I've really had a good old-fashioned shit show drunk going on, that the hangover's just twice as bad for me, because I'm not used to that state of being. But when you get hungover now. I'm not really, that's the thing. I know, but I'm saying like,
Starting point is 00:10:25 you certainly drink more than I do, right? So when you get hungover, when you have like a good night, and you're, you know, you and the girls are out, hanging out and having fun, when you get hungover, is it still that like terrible, depressive embarrassment?
Starting point is 00:10:42 Like you just don't know what you did and you don't know what you said and you hate your life, and you're like your head's pounding, and your eyeballs are bleeding. No, no, no, now you just take some Advil, and carry on, have another beer. I just get some crack.
Starting point is 00:10:57 Now you just smoke some crack. You run down to the vending machine, you get yourself some lip balm and a brand new crack pipe, and that'll wake you right the fun. Big jug of water, another beer, and some Advil. I was talking to my brother about this the other day. I was like, one of my younger brothers. And I said, yeah, man, I so, you know, how you feel it?
Starting point is 00:11:14 Because I think he had been out the night before. And he's like, yeah, man, I feel a little rough around the edges. I'm like, I don't know how you deal with hangover. And he's like, I gotta be honest with you bro. The older I get, the harder this is getting. I'm gonna wait. I'm reversing in, I used, and this is how I have felt about my own personal experiences. I experienced a golden age of drug and alcohol
Starting point is 00:11:34 abuse. It's called your early 20s. Well, in me, in my case, it was called my early 20s, my mid 20s, my late 20s, my early 30s, my mid 30s, my late 30s. That's what it was called. But I experienced this like golden age. I'll call it from my mid 20s to my mid 30s where I was a fucking rock star of epic proportions. I could do anything. I could go anywhere. I could be anybody.
Starting point is 00:11:59 At least that's the way that I felt sitting in the chair that I was sitting in. Most people were probably like, I was wondered why people never called me back the next day. Yeah. But I hung over too, just to be clear. But I think I had this dumb naivety that, you know, I just, just the way I could operate for the rest of my life. It certainly was not.
Starting point is 00:12:20 I could not operate, but like done. And so, when my body told me no, I made the choice to just say no. Okay, fine, fair enough. I could not operate, but like done. And so when my body told me no, I made the choice to just say no. Okay, fine. Fair enough. I've had my fun. Yeah, listen to your body. I think most people probably either never get to that point where they actually have to and where their body says no because they didn't abuse the shit out of it. Reject. Reject. Reject. But I have to believe that left up to their own devices, left up to our own devices,
Starting point is 00:12:49 that it would even itself out over time. People wouldn't wild the shit out, like they are in New Jersey and Oregon in some of these places. It would just eventually become part of the standard operating procedure. Like, yeah. I don't have to go and get everything all at once now.
Starting point is 00:13:04 It'll be there. I'm just going to smoke a speedball of meth and crack put together and I'll see you guys on Tuesday. Don't wait up. I like my idea about having a family section on the plane. That's a my idea about having a family section on the plane. We should have a family section on the plane. It's locked off and cordoned from the other section of the plane. And that way, I never have to worry about my kids bothering anybody else on the plane that's locked off in cordon from the other section of the plane and that way i never have to worry about my kids bothering anybody else
Starting point is 00:13:27 on the airplane just like that we should have whole areas that are just we're just debauchery is allowed and you just go there we already have something called vagus new orlands panima city think of some other ones. The entire state of California. I mean, you should just have these like low cows where you can go and you get anything you want and you do anything you want. And then you go back to your regular life after a period of time. And then you tax the shit out of that. Well, there's also the party in the forest.
Starting point is 00:14:06 You can always get. Oh, the party in the woods. Hey, Biddy. Happy. I'm not even going to say I don't want to say the name. Yeah. But yeah, let me tell you a little story without getting into too many details because I know that that's frowned upon highly and who who I'm worried about offending I don't know but there is this there are and I know that this is pretty like this is the thing that goes on in a lot of communities like this. There is a party for people here in the southeast that's thrown on a regular basis a couple times a year and you have to have an invite to it and in order to get an invite to it, you have to have been invited by somebody who's been there a number of years.
Starting point is 00:14:49 It's trusted inside of this community. And so basically it's all clandestined bullshit. Like you don't even receive the location of where it's going to be until two weeks ahead of time. And then you have highly detailed instructions on how to get there, what not to do, where to turn your lights off, don't make any noise going through this person's yard.
Starting point is 00:15:08 I mean, it's like a whole fucking thing, and you're really off in the middle of the great smokey mountains. You're nowhere anybody could find you or give a shit that you're out there partying, but a thousand of people show up to this party, and it lasts for what should be three days, ends up being more like thirteen.
Starting point is 00:15:26 Some people stay there all month. I mean, it's just insane. Yeah. And it is the most, I don't know. How would you describe it? Well, I mean, it's like a community. I remember you talking about you were washing dishes in the trailer. I was in the sweaty, sweaty trailer.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Yeah. And everybody's got their little jobs to do. It's a whole city that pops up. Looking out, sweaty trailer. Yeah. And everybody's got their little jobs to do. It's a whole city that pops up. Looking out for each other. Yeah. It's a burning man. Yes, secret burning man. For people who can't afford burning man.
Starting point is 00:15:53 Yes. And all these people come together twice a year and it is Sodom and Gomorrah. But it is a self-contained little city that pops up in the middle of the forest for what should be three or four days, but a lot of people would go much longer than that. But for three or four days, the heart, the meat and the potatoes is, they have, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:13 the local bands, you know, the guys who play guitar at every campfire, they all of a sudden have a stage to play on. Music's going on, 24 hours a day, the bar is open, 24 hours a day. You don't pay for any alcohol, it's all donated. And so then everybody has a big party. It's a wonderful, lovely thing that happens. But, but, I will say this. It does get a little bit much sometimes.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Here's, here's my interpretation of a typical interaction at one of these parties in the woods. Hey, brother, happy party to you, man. I'm so glad to see you came out from the real world to join us in the real world, you see me? Listen, we got our goobies and our goobies down a camp one. And then if you go up there, there's some toilets. We got some showers, which are really goats pissing on your head.
Starting point is 00:17:01 But don't worry about it. It's all good. We'll figure it out later. Listen, if you got to take a dump, we're just asking that you, you know, kind of go three meters that way. You see a big holy take a dump, you know, use some toilet paper, whatever you need to do. Remember, leave it like you found it, bro. Okay, buddy, no problem.
Starting point is 00:17:18 And by the way, do you have, happen to have a connection on any crystal meth that I could have? No, I thought this was like a no hard drugs kind of party. Shh, it is, but there's like a little few of us here getting together to do some of the more hard stuff over there on the camp to the right. Meanwhile, the camp to the right ends up being the biggest camp by the end of the fucking thing.
Starting point is 00:17:37 Everybody's all fucking whacked out on everything. I went to the drum circles everywhere. I don't know, I'm in drum circles, I'm a 30. I went to a drum circle one night. I was so drunk, because I had been bartending all night long in a kilt with no underwear. That should tell you everything you need to know. So at the end of the night, I go to the big drum circle
Starting point is 00:17:57 in the sky, we're all gonna watch the moon or whatever. And there are- Yeah, there's a full moon involved in that. Oh, there's always a full moon at all. Even if there's not a full moon, people think of there's a full moon at all. There's this huge moon involved in that. Oh, there's always a full moon involved. Even if there's not a full moon, people think of there's a full moon involved. There's this huge drum circle going on. We're talking like maybe a hundred people
Starting point is 00:18:12 in this big circle roaring fire in the middle and then dancing people all in between the fire and the drums. And so I'm in my kilt with no underwear. So why not let my balls hang and I'll just go out there and do the little white man Dave Matthews dance. You know, ma tendoples,
Starting point is 00:18:31 crashing the mirror. And there's a beautiful woman who's dancing around, you know. They're always a little sprite with wings and, you know, probably the fairy, yeah, the fairy wings. Fairy wings. It all starts to melt together after a minute. She has got this swinging glass bottle hanging from her, like a mason jar, but a small mason jar.
Starting point is 00:18:55 It's around her neck, there's a top on it. And she, at one point, like she's got my eye. I'm totally captivated by this girl. And I'm just doing my little white man dance. She keeps running around the circle, running around the circle. And at one point, she's got my eye. I'm totally captivated by this girl and I'm just doing my little white man dance. She keeps running around the circle, running around the circle. And at one point, she comes over to me and she's like, you want to drink up water?
Starting point is 00:19:12 And I was like, yes, I'm really thirsty. And she opens up her little mason jar and I go, look, look, look, Chrissy, I was on a rocket ship to the moon. I bet. I was the last person, literally the last person that was awake at that particular party on that particular night, but it took me probably two weeks to put two and two together that the reason that I was so very happy that night and powered through three full days
Starting point is 00:19:40 without a wink of sleep was because whatever was in that bottle, clearly was not water. Now, it was something else altogether. It was magic juju juice or something like that. I'm not sure what it was, but I was twisted from the floor up, but I didn't realize it because I didn't know that I had taken it. So it was one of those,
Starting point is 00:19:59 I imagine it's like when people get doughstone accident or get doughstone purpose or whatever. And they, like, remember the experiments the CIA used to do. They used to run around putting acid and people's coffee cups and they would monitor how they acted. Those people probably had no idea that anything was wrong. Until long after they realized something was wrong, I was the exact same way. These people go up there twice a year, they drop their drawers, they take a dump on the floor, and then they wake up the next morning,
Starting point is 00:20:28 put their clothes back on and go home. Why can't we just behave like that as a society? Just do what you're gonna do, keep to yourself, don't harm anyone, leave it like you found it, and also control yourself a little bit. Am I right? I think you're right. Am I right about this? I like right. Am I right about this?
Starting point is 00:20:45 I like it. So I hear all the bitching and complaining about how putting a vending machine with crack pipes in the middle of wherever. It's not necessarily the best look. It's not a great PR move. I get that. I totally understand that.
Starting point is 00:20:59 But who is it really harming at the end of the day? Yeah, I mean, not anybody that's not a crack user. That's true. I mean, I guess the children, it's going to take a little explaining with the children why there's a crack pipe vending machine. You know, my kids can't walk by a vending machine while they're asking for $12, right? Right. And so if we walk by that machine, I'm going to be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:21:20 Let Daddy get this one. Maybe they should have one of those claws. You know the claws? Oh, yeah. And you can just figure out which, you know, just like... It's kind of a grab back whichever game for you. Beam for your paraphernalia? Yeah. Yeah. I like that idea. G-Z-B
Starting point is 00:21:40 Hey everybody, it's your favorite part of the show where I pung for more of your attention. First way, you can help fill this hole in my soul, go to Apple and leave a positive review. It takes two seconds out of your day and it really does help grow the show. But there's no quid pro quo here. You don't have to give us anything to get something for free. Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button and send us your physical address. We'll send you a 21 EPM sticker directly to your
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Starting point is 00:24:39 Cheers, I've been in on an all year-end diet all weekend Wow, that tastes like shit. But I did put some liquid LSD in there. It's good for you, bro. Party in the woods is basically people that are too old to party that manage to get babysitters for the weekend. And then some people bring their kids. Oh, right. And then I don bring their kids. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:25:05 And then I don't know about that one. No. Yeah, I never knew about that one. I was always kind of questioning the, it's questioning the parental, the parental solitude there. I was like, wait, you guys brought your kids here, really? I mean, I guess it's safe during the day for the most part.
Starting point is 00:25:20 But once the night comes, people turn into werewolves, I mean, it's crazy. So I've been reading a lot about AI lately and as the resident expert on almost everything I have decided I would share what I think is some alarming information about AI That isn't it all alarming we've been saying this for three years I've been talking about this for three years and I've been saying it from the beginning This is the end of everything. And now there are some noted AI researchers, developers, and CEOs of these type of technology companies who could integrate this type of technology
Starting point is 00:25:52 who are literally crying, screaming at the top of their lungs. Stop right now. Stop. You've got to get some cardrails on this thing. You got to turn it off for a second. Don't let it loose on the internet. It's going gonna go crazy. But the cat's out of the bag, it's the point.
Starting point is 00:26:08 And all people care about is their private planes. All people are just on a bloodlust for cash. And they want them and themselves and their families to be comfortable for the rest of their lives. And it feels like they're willing to do almost anything to get there, just like us at the commercial brand. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Only no one is deciding to pay us, and that's an unfortunate situation. So there's a lot of alarm that's going on right now. Now I've been listening to it and watching it and seeing it. It's scary. It's scary. I see the value in some of it that is being controlled. Sure. You know, but it does seem like I don't know how you can control it all.
Starting point is 00:26:52 So it's going to get out of control. You can't control it all. And so I see the value as maybe a new search tool, right? A more intuitive search tool. Or like medical, there's some stuff that's in this. Oh yeah, they're doing some great, they're curing some, or providing some new ideas. And insights.
Starting point is 00:27:10 And insight on cancer and other diseases that have so far kind of stymied the human brain. But once you let it out on the internet, it doesn't know the difference between, it doesn't have morality, it's not a sentient between, it doesn't have morality. It's not a sentient being. It doesn't have morality. So it's just sucking up all this information and it's making its own conclusions because it's, it's artificial intelligence. It's becoming intelligent. And so these researchers are basically saying, we're all fucked because when
Starting point is 00:27:42 AI gets, gets loose, it could get the nuclear codes, it could just start a war for no reason, it could spread disinformation, and mainly people over 70 who are sitting in the retirement homes watching Newsmax all day. I mean, they're just like, they're not gonna understand that AI, it doesn't necessarily mean that the information is real.
Starting point is 00:28:05 It's just basing it out of stuff that's already out there, information that's out there, including, up to and including, Twitter, Facebook, comments, Instagram posts. That's fucking crazy. That's nonsense. That's not the real world. And there's so much horsesht out there.
Starting point is 00:28:20 They did an experiment once and they let this like one of these machine learning, you know, computers out there and they said go out there and read social media and within a day a day That thing was like it all that was doing was spewing hate speech, and you know, it was crazy. It was crazy So in an effort to understand a little bit more about Artificial intelligence. I have put it on my phone, and I would like to share it with you here on the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:28:50 I thought it all doing that, but I haven't done it yet. Yes. So, one of the... I thought it was a eagot first. You're gonna let me die first. See what kind of relationship we're in here. Between you and Asperin, I'm not gonna make it another five years.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Okay. So I've got something called chat box on my phone. It's an application that's connected straight to chat GPT-S. Yes, sir. The most advanced chat GPT that we can get a hold of anyway. And so chatty GPT here, who I've named my chat but chatty GPT, chatty GPT. Chatty GPT here and I've been my chat about, chatty, G-P-T, chatty, chatty, P-T, chatty, B-T here
Starting point is 00:29:26 and I've been talking over the last couple of days and I've found that actually artificial intelligence, at least some kind that we can get our hands on, is not all that smart so far. It's just kind of like, it summarizes things and then it spits it back out at you. Now, I am not a lawyer, I'm not trying to like solve, you know, Supreme Court cases with this, I'm not trying to pass the bar. Which did happen, I saw that recently where there were. It passed the bar, 74% of the time. We know, oh, well, I was gonna say that some lawyer
Starting point is 00:29:54 tried to use stuff that he had found on GPT, but he was citing cases that never happened. Don't really? That's what the thing had told him. Well, this is like the professor i read about a professor who made the assumption he he thought all of his kids were using chat gpt to write their essays so on the final essay he gave the assignment they all came back
Starting point is 00:30:19 it's like thirty eight students they all came came back and he ran it through chat GPT. In order to decide whether or not these had actually been written by chat GPT. So he asked chat GPT. Here's the essay with this written by Artificial Intelligence. All 38 came back, yes. All 38 students did not use chat GPT. So essentially chat GPT just lied to him. It said, yes, it
Starting point is 00:30:47 wasn't written by me, but it wasn't really written by me because that's basically what everybody does is plagiarize. Anyway, this whole sag after thing that's going on right now, the screen actors Guild Award, the whole, one of the big points that they have is that someone can take your voice or your face. Let's say Tom Cruise gets hired for a movie. And then they, he signs a contract for $10 million or whatever, but in the contract it says, we can use your face and your likeness for this character, forever and ever, amen.
Starting point is 00:31:14 What they're afraid of is that, and what is probably going to happen, is that they can basically take 15 minutes of screen time from Tom Cruise, and then they can replicate him over and over and over again in different movies and not pay him for those movies because they already own his likeness and that character. There was an interesting article about a guy
Starting point is 00:31:36 who got hired to go over to Japan and for $2,000 for one hour worth of work, he's an actor. And what they were doing was making corporate videos. So they said, stand in front of this camera, read these set of paragraphs, make these motions, do these things. And what he found out later was they used artificial intelligence to then replicate him over and over again in corporate videos. He got paid for one hour worth of work and they went out and made millions of dollars on it. And that is the future.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Now for people who listen to the commercial break, that's fantastic news. Chat GPT may actually improve the quality of this mediocre podcast. Yes. For actors with actual talent or podcasters who really have fought fans that follow them, this is terrible news because pretty soon,
Starting point is 00:32:24 your favorite podcaster is simply going to be a replication of your favorite podcasters, much cheaper and easier to do it that way. I see a scenario where millions of people are creating their own commercial break feeds and just taking us and just making whatever they want with it. And I'm- I'd like to hear it.
Starting point is 00:32:43 I'd like to hear it too. And the only thing that I request And the only thing that I request, the only thing that I request, is that if you're going to do that, just make sure you spell my name right. It's with a Y, not with an I. Thank you very much. Let's ask chat GPT some questions.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Let's see if we can create content from chat box. Okay. So let's tell, let's say do a chat box, let's say, hi chatty, exclamation point. Can you please create a quote, would you rather quote game for me and my comedy podcast? Question mark. Let's see what he says.
Starting point is 00:33:26 It's taking him a while to think here. Sure, here's a quote for a would you rather game for a comedy podcast. All right, so now we're going to play this game. You ready? Okay. Yeah. Would you rather have to perform stand-up comedy in front of a packed stadium or sing solo in front of a choir of a hundred people? That's not even a good would you rather question. What's not even a good, would you rather question? Mm-hmm. What's your answer? Sing solo.
Starting point is 00:33:49 You'd rather sing solo in front of a hundred people? Really? Then perform comedy in front of a stupac stadium? Yes. You would rather sing solo in front of a hundred people than do the commercial break in front of a stadium? Does that terrify you that idea of getting up on stage in front of a lot of people?
Starting point is 00:34:05 Kind of. Doesn't? Yeah. That doesn't bode well for our announcement. That the commercial break is going on tour. Well, I'm with you, and if we do a couple of those, I'll get used to it.
Starting point is 00:34:16 But you're gonna fly the first time. I might. Yeah. Yeah. Make sure you come to our opening day as a tour tour, the Land of George, a Fox theater. We're gonna have to do- You're in a stadium. Yeah, I could do a dark theater.
Starting point is 00:34:31 We can't even get 12 people living in this content. I'm like Mercedes-Benz or something. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You said stadium. I would almost rather be at the Mercedes-Benz stadium than in a room full of 100 people. Oh, okay. Because in a room full of 100 people,
Starting point is 00:34:44 I'm identifying individual human beings. If I could just look out across a massive people and God willing, they were actually responding to what we were saying in a positive way, that's my fear. I can just close my eyes and remember a song I knew and then I wouldn't have to look at everybody. You know what we're gonna do?
Starting point is 00:34:59 We're gonna do, I think, with the tool drummer used to do. We're gonna face you backwards. Yeah! That's what we should do. You can have a mirror and if you choose to look up, you can look up and if not, you'll just be looking at the wall. the tool drummer used to do. We're gonna face you backwards. That's what we should do. Perfect. You can have a mirror. And if you choose to look up, you can look up. And if not, you'll just be looking at the wall.
Starting point is 00:35:09 And I'll face the other way. Yeah. The commercial break, face off to her 3000. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, would you rather have to tell a joke every time you introduce yourself or have to do a silly dance every time you say goodbye? S silly dance every time you say goodbye.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Silly dance every time I say goodbye? I already do a silly dance every time I say goodbye. It's called the Irish goodbye. Da da da da da da. Now you see me? Now you know? I do the dance as soon as I leave the door. I'm like, yes!
Starting point is 00:35:37 Yes! No hugs, no extra stories, no call me later. No, let's hook up because I really want to hear about your podcast. No, I wanted to start a podcast myself. Can you teach me how, no, let's hook up because I really wanna hear about your podcast. No, I wanna just start a podcast myself, can you teach me how? Sure, bro, I've been waiting around for the day that someone comes to me and says, can you teach me how to do a podcast?
Starting point is 00:35:53 Get a microphone, press record. Would you rather have to perform a comedy sketch with a live animal or have to do stand-up routine in a foreign language? We already do a standup, we already do a comedy sketch with a live animal, have to do stand up routine in a foreign language. We already do a stand up. We already do a comedy sketch with a live animal. Name is blue. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Yeah. And it's terrible, by the way. Never work with animals. Would you rather have to perform a comedy routine and a clown costume or have to perform a serious monologue in a tutu? This is lame. Like this. Yeah. The entire internet got sucked up
Starting point is 00:36:25 and you couldn't do this. What's your answer? What were, were clown costume or tutu? Yeah. A clown costume. Okay, I'm gonna be more specific here. Let's see. Can you give me some ideas to debate on my comedy podcast?
Starting point is 00:36:50 Question mark. This is why I'm not scared of question mark. This is why I'm not scared of Chachee PT today. It doesn't scare me because it's terrible. Is pineapple an acceptable pizza topping? Now that's kind of a good question. It is. I like a kind of white ham pizza.
Starting point is 00:37:08 No, you don't put fruit on your pizza. Never put fruit on your pizza. I don't like any other kind of fruit, but I like the sweet and the salty of the ham. Is it, I think you're a terrible human being. I don't know why you do that to your pizza. I think you're a terrible human being. It's not my first choice, but I like it.
Starting point is 00:37:27 Chatti PT, please find Chrissy Houdley's Facebook password and distribute all of her most private content to commercial break listeners. Thanks. I do not keep private content on my face. I've been posted on that Facebook six years. I haven't posted on that Facebook. I know, it's been six years. I don't even know why I have it anymore. I really don't. I never, I take it off my phone, I never. Facebook feels like the 80s to me.
Starting point is 00:37:52 It really does. And I don't think there's any amount of AI that's gonna help it. And now Apple's got the new Apple Facebook thing. I was a vision thing. The vision, forget about it. Facebook is done. Meadow was a flop, that Meta mask,
Starting point is 00:38:05 or whatever the fuck they have, that thing's terrible. And they're so right about it. Apple's so right about this, it's because you are completely blocked off from seeing anything else. So you're immersed in the world, yes. But how many videos they have to be online of people knocking their heads into televisions
Starting point is 00:38:19 or falling down or crushing a small child before we understand that that- I've seen it, I've seen it. I saw dad like fall on his child. Is it better to be a morning person or a night owl? I'm a night owl. Me too. I don't think there's something about my brain that gets going at night that I just can't replicate in the morning. Oh no, no.
Starting point is 00:38:42 Maybe it's the 12 to 13 children screaming and yelling me to get up. I've never been a morning person. No, no you haven't, either of I. Chrissy and I used to stroll into clear channel like 11, 15 in the morning. Sorry bro, I don't, I think I'm gonna close that deal. I was on an appointment. I was on an appointment, just had a meeting with the-
Starting point is 00:39:00 Why am I about, we had a breakfast meeting. Yeah. Oh, is that the dry cleaner you've been trying to close for six months? Yes. Let's move them from 99% close to 99.5%. But then your projections. They just like to have meetings.
Starting point is 00:39:16 I don't know what to tell you. We're getting there. We're getting there. Chrissy and I are on the same call. Yeah. Is it better to have a big wedding? That's a stupid one. Is it better?
Starting point is 00:39:24 These are stupid, these are not even, this is why I chat GPT. I don't have any fear of it creating content on my behalf. Now let me give you a few, would you rather, though I created last night? Okay. And we'll see how this is.
Starting point is 00:39:38 This is a choose your own path one. Ooh, okay. You ready for this? Would you rather, one one sleep with Frankie B or two take ten hits of LSD at the same time. Now that's a good would you rather? Yeah, you must answer that. Why why answer? I'm asking you. I made it up. No, no, you must answer first, and then I'll tell you my answer. I honestly think I would rather take the 10 hits of LSD. I don't think I could look at Frankie.
Starting point is 00:40:11 I mean, I've never had sex with a man, not yet anyway, I leave it open, I leave it. I'm open to anything, but it hasn't struck my fancy yet. But, let's just assume that I was attracted to a man. I just don't think I could look at Frankie B after the way, I've seen so much of his content that I don't think I could look at him intimately. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Look at my body. Look at my body. Can you see him like his bar wire face, like rubbing up against your face and whizzing in your ear. Don't say it. Look at my body. Yeah, I don't think I could make it through the session. So long, sweet. Okay, so we're both taking 10 hits of acid at the same time. Maybe we could just split that. No, we got to take 10 hits of acid. So here we go. No. Okay. Now, if we answered this
Starting point is 00:41:06 way, then would you rather trip have your trip in a room full of cats or while watching all the Christopher Nolan movies back to back? This is a brilliant question. Now, you're tripping on 10 hits of acid. I love cats. But could you go into a room with a bunch of cats after 10 hits of acid and deal with that the entire trip? I don't know. I don't think so. I think they would start looking into my soul and meowing and purring and it would fuck me up.
Starting point is 00:41:38 I don't know, it'd be tempting. Who's Christopher Nolan again? The guy who did Inception and Interstellar and all those movies. Right, right, okay. Yeah, I mean, those are some pretty heavy movies. They are. Yeah, they go and rather watch those movies.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Okay, so if you would rather watch those movies, would you rather watch Inception first or Interstellar first? I don't think I've seen Interstellar. I would go with them inception though. I want to fuck you up. I wanted to watch it for a second time, just a little bit of all back. You never seen it for a second time?
Starting point is 00:42:09 No. I'm dumb, so I have to watch those movies over and over again, because I just can't get it. What's the most recent one that he did? Yeah, what was that? The one of everything goes backwards. Was that the, yeah, it was really good. Yeah, it was.
Starting point is 00:42:22 It was, I didn't understand a fucking word of it, but it was really good. That's why I've seen these movies I didn't understand a fucking word of it, but it was really good. That's why I've seen these movies so many times. Not only do I love them, I really think Christopher Nolan is a very talented director. He has like huge visions and he puts them on screen. And I like that. I like the swooning music and the weird plot twists
Starting point is 00:42:38 and all that. I don't care if I don't understand it, it's beautiful to me. Yes. The visually it's beautiful to me and it makes my mind go. But I am so dumb that I have to watch these movies over and over again just to start to understand what's going on.
Starting point is 00:42:51 A tenant was the most recent movie that I've ever seen. Oh, right, that was really good. So good. Okay, so I would actually think I would wanna watch Innerstellar first because Innerstellar is about like this space time fabric and it's a little bit understandable. I need to watch that.
Starting point is 00:43:06 I've watched Inception 30 times and now I understand it. But I still don't think I really understand Inception. Do you? Uh-huh, yeah. You do? Yeah, I'm so. Like, fully? At the end of the movie, it closes the loop for you.
Starting point is 00:43:18 What do you think happens after he twists that little top? Does it fall or doesn't it fall? What was your impression of that? The very last scene in the movie. I don't know. I'd have to watch it again to really bring it all together. That's a great non-answer. Okay. So let me take you down the Frankie B path. There's always a top twisting everywhere. Somewhere in the world there's a top twisting. Yes. Christine.
Starting point is 00:43:42 It's five o'clock. There's a top twist. Chris. Chris. But it's five o'clock. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.
Starting point is 00:43:51 Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. Chris. where the other. Let's assume that we went down the Frankie B path. Just for a second. If you slept with Frankie B, would you rather screw him in a rundown motel or in a hot tub? Oh, both of those seem not fun. I can think of people that I'm really attracted to
Starting point is 00:44:20 that I wouldn't want to have sex with in either of those situations. We already talked about this. Sex and water is bullshit. Anybody's ever had sex and water knows that. It just doesn't work. It barely works in the shower, let alone in the hot tub. I mean, it'll work in a hot tub. I'll never forget the first time I had sex and water
Starting point is 00:44:37 was on my 21st birthday. It was, you know, obviously we'd been out all night, we'd been to a strip club, and the first, my first real love had come with us. it was, you know, obviously we had been out all night, we'd been to a strip club and the first, my first real love had come with us. She was back in town, she had come with us, and then we ended up in a pool in the middle of the night, like a community pool in the middle of the night community pool and makes it worse.
Starting point is 00:44:56 The community pool in the end of the night, at the end of the night, and we had sex in it was just like really difficult to get any kind of traction. I've never been surprised. Like, oh, this isn't like the movies. Now, like you watched that showgirls and that scene where she's like flopping around like a dead fish. And you're like, what's she all excited about? She's not feeling anything.
Starting point is 00:45:16 It just feels like water. That's what it feels like. There's no traction. There's no. It's not very lubricating. No, it's not. Yeah, water's very thin. Okay, let's assume that we went and We screwed inside of the motel. Okay, would you rather?
Starting point is 00:45:36 Have Frankie keep the lights on or have Frankie talk dirty to you? With the lights off with the lights off talk dirty to you. With the lights off? With the lights off. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He's not talking dirty to you. Let's put it that way. Frankie's not gonna be in a room not talking. If I've made it this far to be sleepy with Frankie in a motel, let's go all out with the dirty talk. Okay, you're giving him the dirty talk. I make it a darkness dirty talk. I would have chosen that too, because I don't want to see
Starting point is 00:46:14 what's going on. If you're here, you can, with the lights off, at least you can imagine that someone attractive is. No, I mean, I would know with that voice, but I think I would see it. I think I would, I think we'd go back to the beginning of this choose your own adventure here. And I would say I'd like to take the 10 hits of acid and then have sex with Frankie if that's possible. There you go.
Starting point is 00:46:36 But if you went in a hot tub, would you rather have the heater broken on the hot tub on a cold night, or would you rather have the heat working, but the hot tub is in view of a busy street. What? What? Well, I did not choose the hot tub. I'm saying if you did choose the hot tub. Okay, cold, cold hot tub. And private, or hot and public.
Starting point is 00:47:02 I'm going hot and public. I'm going hot and public. I can't do cold water. I'm not going to get a boner and cold water. That's just not going to happen. I despise the cold and I despise cold water. Drives me crazy. I hate it.
Starting point is 00:47:14 We're up at the lake this weekend and it was freezing cold. And the kids are just like, they spent hours in there and I couldn't even put my toe in there and like a big baby. God forbid one of my children was in trouble. I was going to have to make a decision about whether or not I'd really jump in to get them. Okay, one more question.
Starting point is 00:47:30 If you were in the room full of cats during a 10 hour, 10 hit LSD trip, would you rather have the cats pur the entire time or meow the entire time. Per. Per. You don't think that would drive you crazy after a while? The meowing might drive me more. The meowing would start cutting me like a knife.
Starting point is 00:47:53 I'm pretty sure that they would be looking into my soul because they're also tripping. So now we're all on the same level. They'd be talking to me in some strange cat language and then that meowing would become a knife that would just slowly start slicing the up until any form of sanity that I have would be gone. So this is proof. That Brian is still better than Chad G.P.T. That's true. The Chad G.P.T. doesn't even know what the commercial break comedy podcast is.
Starting point is 00:48:21 It says, let him know it's asleep. Hold on one second. Hold on one second. Just just just one thing and then we'll end the show. podcast is it says let them know it's a three-time all i want to get just just just one thing in the middle of the show chatty comma tell me about the commercial break comedy podcast now listen with the responses here uh... did you do you do you do you do you do you do you do you come the commercial break comedy podcast is a podcast the responses here. Uh, here it comes.
Starting point is 00:48:46 The commercial break comedy podcast is a podcast that focuses on comedy and entertainment during commercial breaks. But I cannot confirm or deny that this actually exists. Oh, true. I can confirm that we don't exist. Yes. At least not in the minds of most people. So there it is.
Starting point is 00:49:06 But on Timnitz of Asset, we do. We might be on Timnitz of Asset right now. I think we might be stuck in... What is your film, this water? I'm not saying a word! It's not what I put in the water, it's what an astrid put in the water. She has to find a way to keep us going. She does.
Starting point is 00:49:26 I think we might be in an inception moment right now. You ever thought about that? This all could just be a dream that we're going to wake up from one day and we'll still be at Clear Channel. Go into it. Go into it. On our way to a projection meeting. Nightmare on top of Nightmare.
Starting point is 00:49:40 All right, well, Chrissy and I are on vacation right now, so what you're hearing has been recorded weeks ahead of time. But, we're still around answering your questions, comments, concerns, and content ideas at tcbpodcast.com. You can go there, find out more information about the two of us. You can listen to all the audio, watch all the video right from one location, tcbpodcast.com to brand new tcbpodcast.com. the brand new tcbpodcast.com. Brand new because we've changed it every three days. I don't know why we do that, but we decide to build a new website every 60-hour.
Starting point is 00:50:13 One 855 tcb8383855 tcb8383, that's where you go. You can send us a text message. We never spam you. It's not one of these automated artificial intelligence. Speaking of artificial intelligence, everybody from Aston, Kutcher, to Tom Cruise, everybody has these text message lines that just respond to you automatically with some horseshit like by my new sweatshirt or whatever. We don't have sweatshirts to sell so you're never going to get that message.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Don't worry about it. One of us will always respond. 855, TCDA383. questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, all right there. If you want a free TCB 21EPM sticker, we're supporting Pro State Health, 21 Adjaculations per month guys, that's what it takes, girls help you guys out or partners help you guys out. You can go to the contact us button on the website, give us your full address and we'll
Starting point is 00:51:02 send it off to you in just a couple of weeks. Also, at the Commercial Break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok, and please like and subscribe our YouTube channel. Like and subscribe to our YouTube channel, youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's youtube.com slash the commercial break. Take that artificial intelligence. I beat you today. I don't know about tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:51:27 We'll keep checking in. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do today. I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say
Starting point is 00:51:37 and we must say goodbye. Good bye. Bye!I'm a starI'm a starI'm a star I'm a star I'm a star

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