The Commercial Break - Shut Your Cheesy Potato Mouth!

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

The Podcast Machine, Bama rush, and...cheesy potatoes? Bryan & Krissy truly cover it all in this episode! HBO Max aka MAX is triflin! We need more seasons Bama rush & Bama rush tiktok #justenough The Machine The Podcast Machine TCB’s target demographic is, of course, sorority girls Bryan went to a Clemson game He met a game day genie Who cut the sleeves off? Bryan went to one of the best restaurants in the world The history of the rainforest cafe Bangers and Mash, the detective show Bryan slanders a full english We’ve seen a lot of strange food addictions on this show... Time for cheese and potatoes! 8000 calories a day CHEESEY POTATOES FOR LYFE She's crying and shaking whilst eating broccoli They cant even eat in the same room Don't be baby, eat veggies LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina Archer Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A potato flew around my room before you came. On this episode of the commercial break. Yeah, you know what they say. Once a cheesy potato. Mouth always a cheesy potato. Shut your cheesy potato mouth. Do you think she's Russian Bama? I don't think so. Okay, just check.

The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yes! Welcome back to the Commercial Break! Again, I'm Ryan Green. This is my dear friend, Chris and Joy. HODLY BEST TO YOU, Chris! That's the me best to you, Chris! Hi, I'm Steve Ryan. And best to you out there in the Bad Chance universe. Sorry about that, I couldn't find my volume button, so... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Apple reviews to say, why is this guy screaming so much? That's why. This is my natural tone. When you have 12 to 16 children running around

and a dog that's out of control, you have to keep your volume really high in this house to get attention. That's true. I've noticed that my little baby girl, who's like only four months old, she is like screaming at the top of her lungs, but not because she's upset,

because she's like wants attention. She wants to be her own. So she is getting it. She is using her lungs. She understands the game. She is ready. Anytime those kids start coming to play and she's like, ah! They're trying to kill me! I watched the most... well, I don't know, not the most fascinating documentary I've ever seen. It was actually kind of...

I say, middling, middling, but interesting. It was actually kind of, I say, middling, middling, but interesting. Were you in a sorority? No. You were not in a sorority. Did you rush for a sorority? No, I didn't know. Did you watch the Bama? I watched the Bama thing.

Did you watch it? No, I haven't watched it. Okay. I watched Bama rush on HBO Max Max Plus Discovery Plus, minus Max. Whatever the fuck it is. By the way, I wrote them a note yesterday. It said, you have any suggestions for us. You know, like, do you have any comments about the new app?

And I said, the commercial break needs to be on here. They might as well fold us on in. They've got everything else. They've got everything else. You can find 90 day fiancee naked and afraid and some of the most highly touted movies that have ever been made all on the same crappy app, called Max Now. And I thought HBO Max was the best application out there.

But now that they're taking off content, that they own themselves, it's like the most ridiculous move so that they can resell it to other platforms. Like they took off, not Game of Thrones, but they took off, what show did they take off that everyone was really into? I can't remember the name of the show that they took off, but they took off one of those series that they had. They took it off so that they could resell it to another application out there.

And that's kind of like, I don't know. Like Amazon or something like that. Yeah, like Amazon or one of two B or Pluto or one of those, right? So essentially what has happened is, we have tried to cut the cord, and now we're plugging the cord back in. I said the same thing to Jeff the other day. I was like, well, this kind of replaced cable.

Yeah. We were getting away from it. That's right, it replaced cable. Now we all want cable again because it was so much better. I think the good old days of Netflix spending a $1 billion on every series. Here's the other thing that I was reading that's very interesting. Is the days of the golden goose with the streamers, it's gone. It's gone. It's done. Forget about a prestige television is over for right now at least. And the second thing that's happening that's really,

like, to me, doesn't feel feel great and one of the reasons why I dislike British comedies. I love British comedies, but they almost never have more than three seasons. And Netflix, Amazon, HBO plus Max Discovery minus, all of these, they are doing the same thing. They only order two seasons and if it's not like the best thing that ever happened on the app, you're not getting another season, which to me, it doesn't give a, imagine a breaking bad had ended after season one because they had no ratings at all. Yeah.

It would have been terrible. A travesty. A travesty. A travesty. White people. Hashtag white people problems. Breaking bad didn't make it to season two. Well, it is one of the best shows.

Fuller house didn't get a seventh pick up. So I'm on that HBO plus max minus discovery plus and I find Bama Rush. I had no idea, mainly because I never stepped foot on a real college campus in my life. But so I don't want to sit here and take down the Greek, you know, system, whatever they call it, the path... Yeah, we have a dog that's in one.

Oh, really? So, what this documentary does is it documents some girls who are already in the sororities at Bama, and some girls who want to get into the sororities at Bama. And these girls, the things that they go through in order to prepare themselves, to try and get into the top sorority in Bama, which apparently is the top Greek life in the world. I don't know. But TikTok has made these girls famous, these Bama sorority girls famous. And Rush is now such a huge thing on TikTok that basically Bama has gotten

crushed with these ladies who want to rush for the sorority. The most ridiculous things that they do, like hiring a sorority rush consultant, hiring a consultant to help you prepare to get into a sorority. These girls, the things they put themselves through, the anguish and the anxiety and the stress and the never ending need to be better than they actually are or better than they think they are, is insane. It's insane. These girls are like so ancient about this.

Yeah, of it all. And for what? I'm, I don't know. I mean, I don't know because I was never in a fraternity, so I don't know what that, what those things afford you. I'm sure it's a good friend. Yeah, a good networking for jobs later. Booze, that's it.

And yeah. That's it, right? It's like a, it's like a really big, it's like a tailgate for a networking event. You know what I'm saying? It's a tailgate for your professional career. Because then everybody else around you starts getting positions and you know, fancy law firms or whatever it is. And they drag you along with them because you're my fraternity brother, you're my sorority

sister. So I understand that there are perks in life. You know, there's kind of the haves and have-nots type of thing. But I just think in my own personal opinion, while it's endlessly fascinating, I did go down the Bama Rush TikTok hole last night for about a hour. Yes, I did. I have to admit, it's pretty entertaining and highly ridiculous in most cases. But I will say this, I do understand why you would want to be in a sorority or a fraternity,

but the amount of stress and pressure that goes into that. That's why I, I never wanted to do any of that because I don't like having to achieve. I feel like I'm, and I couldn't be more sincere when I say that. I don't feel like I want the pressure to achieve anything. My life goes best when I feel- You don't try. When I don't try. Like doing enough is good.

That's good for me. Hashtag just do enough. Just do it enough. Just enough. The hashtag just enough. We're gonna start that on there. Just enough. And you have to be everything but just enough to get into one of these sororities.

And then they rank like damn sororities. And then so now, like, you know, there's the top sorority in Alabama. And I understand you oftentimes are a reflection of your environment. But some of the interviews with these girls who are in this sorority, there's no way to make it look good. There's no way to make the ignorance and just kind of, I don't know how to say this, like entitlement, there's no way to make that look good, to make that look interesting. And I know that these girls probably are just wonderful human beings when you pull back

the layers, but the way that they talk about being in a sorority and how they pick the girls and, you know, why Greek life is important and why they have rule books that are 35 pages long. One girl gets kicked out of the sorority because she wore the wrong sticker at the wrong time on her jacket or something. She got kicked out of the sorority and now this poor girl is like ultra upset and depressed for the rest of her life. She feels like she got dumped by the hottest guy in school because she kind of did and it's, I wouldn't say it sent her into a tailspin, I would say that it affected her greatly in the emotional department. And why, why do you need it?

When I'm 18 years old, the only thing that I was worried about, well, there was a couple of things that I was worried about, but I'll say the top things that I was worried about is where is D and how do I get to him quicker? Right. Why am I seeing trails three days after I stopped taking the LSD and then which young lady is going to fancy me home tonight. You know, I'm saying, those are like the things that I worried about when I was 18 and then maybe occasionally I worried about showing up to work on time.

But even that wasn't all that important. The reality is, I- It's expensive too, and that's kind of a shame because then people that maybe can't afford to be at that top level, they can't afford- Say like the average recruit spends $28,000 on recruiting activities. This one girl, she had a binder

with all of her outfits in pictures and like answers to questions that could potentially come up during, you know, rush and then what's her preference school, right? On preff day, who she's gonna pick and what happens if this happens? She had her whole life mapped out. She had each outfit in a bag, in a separate bag

that she was putting in boxes. So she knew exactly how to get to them. And if one outfit, if it each outfit in a bag, in a separate bag that she was putting in boxes, so she knew exactly how to get to them, and if one outfit, if it was like raining one day, she was going to have this outfit, if it was sunny, she was going to have that outfit. And these ridiculous sorority rush consultants. God, the consultants. The consultants. Of course, there's consultants. Chrissy, business has popped up. We could do this all day long for mediocrity in life.

Is what we do. We are mediocre life coaches. Life coaches. That's what we'll do. You come to us with a problem where like, and do you really have to do that? Like, you know, I gotta get an A on my test or I'm not gonna graduate college,

but do you really have to get an A on the test? Or you just think you have to get a nail in the test. Because Chrissy and I advise you to skip the test, come with us to the bar. Let's have a couple of boozes, and we'll forget about it. There's a whole world outside of whatever it is you're concerned about. And so I don't want to knock it because I do understand this drive to... There are benefits.

There are benefits, and there's something to be said for having friends, like kind of a built-in family when you're away from your family. Well, I was going to say, if I maybe had gone to another school out of state, I might have looked into it. Yeah. But I went with a bunch of my friends. So you already kind of, yeah, you already had your friend system. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I just got the impression that this is like a ton of undue unnecessary stress. It's causing eating disorders. It's causing these girls to just get real caddy with each other. You know, the picking process is completely subjective. They have something called the machine.

Did you have you heard about this at Bama? No. These girls are so scared to talk about the machine on camera that they literally shut the director down. They were like, not talking about the machine, not saying a word about them, she can't do that, that'll ruin our lives. Here's what the machine is.

Oh, God. Yeah, and we're probably, like, I don't know, we've got a Molotov cocktail in the studio or something for talking about the machine. But the machine is this, for years and years at Alabama, the top sororities and fraternities would elect what they called student representatives or student senators to a separate body. That body was then called, it was referred to as the machine, that those people in that very elite group of human

beings, like two or three or four from each sorority or fraternity would then get together and they would make decisions about who they were going to vote for for student council for student president for whatever for a yes vote up or down about something that could happen in Greek life they basically control the politics every decision was they ran the fucking campus even seats at the football game were determined by the machine who sat where when and how was determined by the machine and this is not something that is pretend a investigative reporter in alabama discovered this way back when and they had to suspend student council, student politics for three years at Alabama because of the machine. They had to like say, no, no more.

We're not going to do this because you guys are owning it. And those people who are in the machine tended to come from the most affluent and powerful and rich families around. And so I was just like dumbfounded by this. So imagine this, you're at Alabama, you're in a fraternity or a sorority and up comes the homecoming queen vote. The machine gets together, they decide who's going to be homecoming queen. The representatives come back and they tell everybody how to vote.

They say everybody vote for Aaron. And then everybody goes and votes for Aaron. And only a few times in Alabama history have non-machine sanctioned, non-Greek sanctioned candidates. One, these elections. It's insane. There's been like six of them in the entire history of Alabama. I forget, I don't know if I'm saying that exactly correctly that there's just six, but in the movie, they show just a couple of people who were elected outside of the machine's influence.

There's a fucking machine at Alabama. There's a fucking machine. How? Ah, it seems stressful. How? How is anybody supposed to do anything? I mean, just like how do you navigate the world when all the chips are stacked against you?

Yeah. Really? And the commercial break is a shining example of this. The podcast industry also has a machine and Chrissy and I are definitely not part of it. We're like one of the few non podcast machine. I'm gonna start calling that the podcast machine. Who fancies in favors those podcasts.

Like cone in a Brian. Come on. Tell me that guy has more talent than us sitting here in the studio. Tell me, Dex Shepherd has something that we don't. Tell me those guys at SmartList when they get together are funnier than Chrissy and I when we get together.

I dare you, sir. I dare you. Truth is, it's the podcast machine that makes all those decisions. Behind the scenes. That's right. Do you think smartness just ran up to the top of the charts

because they happen to be movie stars with millions of followers on TikTok Instagram movies? No, they didn't. It was the podcast machine. And just because Chrissy and I only have 400 followers on Instagram means we have to be down here Well, we might have more Instagram followers if it wasn't for the podcast machine Constantly busting our ball keep it us down. We will never be part of the podcast machine

Never ever We're gonna rage this episode of the commercial break Is this episode of the commercial break has been disrupted by the podcast machine? Please now tune to smart less fuckers I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that there was an actual That kind of thought that's what that documentary was about so that's what I You're scared of the machine too Everybody's scared of the machine. And what was really interesting to me is that Greek life actually started back in the

1800s, and the reason it started is because there were some prominent men in higher education that were writing these ridiculous papers. One man wrote paraphrasing, a Harvard professor wrote that women, when they went to get higher education, their brains had more activity. So the blood flowed up to their brains, drying out their uteruses and making them basically barren for carrying children.

I mean, just like the most insane shit. I mean, just like the most insane shit. And so the women got together in these sororities to show that they actually were the model of a good student. Yes, it started out good, but it didn't take long to turn into a shitty social fucking ladder climbing event. So again, I've never been in Greek life, so I don't know. And I've had plenty of friends who've been in fraternities

and sororities, and I love them to death. They're all wonderful, but I think there's like this groupthink mentality that starts to happen that can, can get a little ugly. I'm not sure it doesn't ever be case, but it can get a little ugly. So here's what I wanna do. I say that if you're in Bama,

which I know that probably most of the girls who are rushing this year for Alabama sororities are listening to the commercial break. That's our target demographic is sorority sisters. Yes. I think Chrissy and I need to come to Bama for rush and just make sure that everything's on the up and up Like that give us access all access all houses all rooms To make sure that we can come in and out and and just make sure everything's you know

Buttoned up Chrissy. We don't want anybody's feelings to get hurt We don't want anyone to feel that you need to contact the machine about this. I am the machine Oh, I am the machine and i made the decision that i have a backstage past also wrote he houses in bama starting now fantastic i never tell you the story how i went to a clencin game one time with a friend of ours uh... i don't want to say the name but oh yes so we got it we got this game. We got to this game, this Clemson game.

I haven't been to very, I've, I've, I've been to very few collegiate football games, but this was one of them. And I think I was in my early to mid 30 something like that early 30s. I was in my early 30s. And this guy has been like a booster for, for Clemson forever. He's like the Clemson guy. And so he has paid his way and paid his way and paid his way all the way up until he finally gets a parking spot in this, you know, coveted meadow that's right next to the stadium. And the meadow is in between the stadium and sorority row.

So you're parking, tailgating, and you have to pay money, like you have to be, I don't know, rich or something to be in this particular spot. You know how it all goes. It's all politics. And consult a machine. And consult a machine. And so the Clemson machine puts us in this weird meadow that we're just sitting there drinking beer. And I'm with this guy and his family and his children. And we go to the game and we had a couple beers and he actually snuck me into the stadium because he didn't have a ticket for me.

And the whole ride up there, I'm riding with his family in the back, the kid screaming, I'm hung over from the night before. I have no idea what's going on. And he keeps telling me, don't worry about him. I may or can get you in there, no problem. I know all the security guards. This is so easy. And I was like, okay, dude, if you say so,

I got you covered, Brian Green. Don't you even worry about it. Remember how you talk? Oh, yeah. So I said, okay, buddy, I don't worry about it. So no shit, we get up there and he's like, here's the one I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go in first and then I want you to run over there,

meet me over there, I'm gonna hand you my ticket stub and you say you accidentally left and you were trying to get back in, even though they don't let people back in after they left. So I was like, this is a ridiculous thing, this is never gonna happen. Never gonna work. It's like stuffing somebody down at a concert, you know.

Exactly, yeah. Handing off the ticket until you get 30 people in a row that only fits five. Right. Yes. Welcome to every widespread panic concert ever. Everybody ends up in the front row. This is how it works.

You learn up in the front row or way in the back because you're too fucked up to know how to walk. So, so I go, I take the ticket stub, I get to the front and I'm like, oh, I left. And I'm coming back in and the security guard's like, no one's these, no outsies, sorry brother. And I was like, fuck, I can't get in. So then he's, so then I go run back to the gambling

and he's like, oh shit, it didn't work. All right, listen, I'm coming back out. And I'm like, no, no, you don't come out. Then we both are stuck. Like, I'll just go back to the game and he's like, oh shit, it didn't work. All right, listen, I'm coming back out. And I'm like, no, no, you don't come out, then we both are stuck. Like, I'll just go back to the car. It's fine. I don't really need to see the game. I'll listen to it on my phone or whatever.

So he comes back out and then he's now he's got two ticket stubs with him, right? So he goes up to this other security guard. He hands the guy the ticket, the guy goes, nope, no inzy outs, he's, I'm sorry. Oh man, I didn't know the no in Z out. When did that rule take effect? Y'all mean y'all just had this rule right? And while he's talking to the security guard, he grabs my shirt and walks me through the gate. He's like, he yanks me through the gate, right? And I'm just like, tada tada tada tada. Right. And no shit, it worked. Yeah, but my game I'm like, ah!

No shit it worked We go to the Clemson game we get out of the Clemson game and afterwards we start drinking again at this tailgate It's a day game, you know, so we start drinking it like 9 a.m. Oh my god Do it and we we got on the road at 9 a.m. We were there by 10 30 or 11 We were drunk the game started at three. It's over at six the light still out and He's sitting here with his family and some of his friends and they're all having a good time Well, I am now drunk and when Brian gets drunk he wanders. That's what Brian does He wanders and usually wanders to wherever the ladies are So I end up going to I end up walking across the street and there's a huge party going on at one of these

Houses I don't know. It's a sorority house. It's sorority house, I'm not sure. It's like on that Greek road, right? So I end up going into the party and I realize pretty quickly that I'm like, even though there are older people there, I'm way, way too old to be at this party. Right.

So I leave and at the end of the street, there is a bar, like a Mexican bar, right? A Mexican taco bar kind of place. And so I go in there, it's just like every other college bar anywhere. There's no chairs whatsoever, a few scattered tables. Many people like in various states of undressing drunkenness, taking shots everywhere. And so I go in and immediately there's like a group of people that are just, I'm just in the group, right?

We're all having fun, everybody. You know how it goes? You walk in, you don't really know what happens, but all of a sudden you're laughing with them, they're laughing with you. You don't even know each other's name. Within 15 minutes, I am kissing somebody, kissing somebody.

I'm at a college game, and I'm kissing somebody. Now, to be clear, I don't do not believe this girl was actually in college. I think she was older than that, right? But I'm just like- Is it a visiting sister? She's something like that. Yeah, visiting sister.

So I'm kissing somebody and I'm like, oh my God, what's going on here? This Clemson shit is crazy, right? It's awesome. So then we laughing, joking, laughing, joking. And so then the guys texting me, he's like, hey man, we're gonna go, you know, and I'm like, hey put your number in my phone And you know we'll stay in touch and she's like no Game day stays with game day and I was like what

What no, and season out. Yeah, she's like no in the out seat She I was like really like you know, we can't exchange phone numbers. She's like, no, sorry, she goes, oh, when she goes, where do you live? And I'm like at Lanna. And she said she lived in some far-flung location that she probably did not live at. She probably lived right next door to me in Atlanta.

But I'll just never forget how crazy that whole scene was. Like the whole Greek row was just insane. No, I had friends. We would go party with all the friends that had the room fraternities at Tennessee. So I knew things got crazy. Yeah, maybe I should have joined a fraternity. Probably should have gone to college first.

Right. Then after I got to college, I probably should have gone to fraternity. My friend, David, he used to live in this townhouse in Athens and the townhouse backed up to one of the fraternities, but not like one of the well-known fraternities, like one of the offshoot fraternities, you know what I'm saying? And the house, so his back porch looked to overlook to the parking lot of this fraternity house.

And so every time I went up there, you know, there was always some shenanigans going on at the fraternity house. And so every time I went up there, you know, there was always some shenanigans going on at the fraternity house. Oh, yeah, of course. And David and I, we liked to, we would get drunk, we would go to whatever activity out, math as festival, game, whatever, we would come back. And then, they that night,

there would always be some kind of activity going on at the fraternity house. And David and I liked to go and just kind of have a good time. Join in. Yeah, we would walk in there and randomly pretend like we knew what we were doing. What's up, Brock? Yeah, and one night I walk in there and they have this huge room

that I, with a stage, that I imagine is for, for parties and stuff like that, right? And so there's a drum riser up there, there's drums, but I walk into this room and there's like bad disco lights. There's a couple of guys just kind of like, you know, dancing to whatever music's on the speaker, one girl in the corner, making out with some dude, you know, just a kind of a scene.

It's a thing, it's a feel, right? There's no furniture. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no furniture. There's no furniture, the furniture. Yeah. The furniture is the puke and cigarette butts that have been stepped on night after night, day after day. It is a disgusting house.

I don't have anybody lived there. But I go into this room and I realize that like of the 15 or 20 of us that are standing in the room, all these guys, it was that time when all the guys in every college, everywhere in the South were wearing either t-shirts or polo shirts with the Vests. You know what I'm talking about? The Vests. And the song, who let the dogs out, was a thing back then. So I don't know why it came to my head, but it did. And I went, and I was drunk, and I went, and I grabbed the microphone, and I turned it on, and I said, I have a question. And I turned it on and I said I have a question and everybody's kind of like in a half drunk like one eye open like look at me. Yeah, like this fucking dude went to dad get here.

And I go who cut the sleeves out. It took a minute, but a couple of the guys caught on. And then they were like, who are you? And I'm like, oh, I'm your neighbor. And they're like, you're my neighbor. What do you mean my neighbor? And I'm like, I'm your neighbor. I live right over there. And they're like, you're not part of the fraternity?

Part of the fraternity. I'm part of AARP, does that count? Now go get me a beer. Now go get me a beer. Now go get me a beer. Go fill up this draft beer. Find your sleeves and come back to me when you do. But it started to get a little tense in there. So I just did the Irish goodbye.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so much fun.

It was a good time. It really was a good time. Speaking of good times, I went to London, we talked about this last episode, how I went to London. And I wanted to share that I went to one of the world's best restaurants called Berners Tavern, which is like a Michelin star restaurant. Trust me, I did not do this on my own dime.

We don't, I don't make any money, but somebody else was nice enough to take me out, Brad, who works for the network that we just resigned with and then my agent. And they took us out like celebratory, hey, congratulations, because that's the only money we're getting. Yeah, exactly.

He's like, sorry, I can't offer you any real money, but what I can do is I can buy you dinner at Burner's shop. I can expense this dinner. Yeah, I can expense this dinner. That's right. So we go to this place. It is absolutely wonderful. Like top notch five star.

You remember I told you that the family and I, we went to Dollywood, or Opriland, that hotel. So we went to Opriland. Yeah, I'll tell, we'll talk more about that in an upcoming episode. But I went to Opriland and we brought the kids for the night. We're kind of doing a test run to see how it was to take three children into a hotel room because we're going on vacation for a long time.

And we just wanted to see, you know, and we want to get the kids out of the house for the weekend. Right. So you're just a test. It was a test run. Test run went did not go well, but, you know, we've got 40 more times, 40 more nights to try coming up soon. So we decide to go walk over to this opera mills and go to this place, the Rainforest Cafe. Oh yeah. Because you know, it's a place where the kids can watch the little animatronics and it's not good food. And we already know that. We don't expect miracles, but whatever, it's interesting for the children and And they loved it, loved it.

But the service was absolute horse shit. I mean, it was horse shit. Girl comes up to the table, she says, Hey, welcome to Rainforest Cafe. Anybody ever been here before? And asked her, and I were like, Nope, actually we haven't. Okay, are you all ready to order?

And I was like, why did you ask me the question? Rather you're gonna give me like a speech. Revealed the history of the rainforest get fair. That's right. How things work. How things work? Why does that monkey's arm fallen off? And you know, why does that hippopotamus have one eye broken?

You know, like could you tell us a little bit about the restaurant? She did none of that. She asked for our order and then she came only back when I basically screamed. Hey, can you please get us our ketchup? This was the opposite experience of burners to have. True, white glove, five star service, right? All over you. You know, you don't touch a thing.

They want you to, they want everything to just be taken care of you. So it was a wonderful place to go. And I do have to say that the food is really excellent because when you think of England, there's a lot of things that you think about, but good food is not one of them. Yes.

At least that's not my perception. I mean, I think of just fish and chips. And bangers and mash. Bangers and mash. Bangers and mash. Oh yeah, I always thought that would be a good name for either a band or a detective show. Yes.

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And bangers and mash. That is so hard to get in touch. Yeah. Bangers and mash. Hey, bangers, you better get down to the office. We got a real wild one on our hands. Slippery is sitting us gone missing down on 4th Avenue and they've called us up. They called us in. All right, bangers, I'm on my way. You better get here quick, mash.

So in the fish and chips was good, but you know, they just, like they eat, it's meat and potatoes, which is close to my heart because I'm come from the Irish lineage and that's just in my genetic makeup to have, basically, meat and potatoes. Yeah, there's not a lot of, there's not a lot of, there's a ton of Italian restaurants around Mexican,

different cuisines, but you don't see a lot of English restaurants. No, you don't see any, yeah. There's no, like, you know, London Cafe. And if you do see something that says London Cafe, it's likely you're not interested in walking in there. Do you know what I'm saying? And it's likely you won't see it the next week either. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the same street. The most English thing that I think I've ever been, like, actually gone to, is the rose and crowned or the fox and the ham. Both of which I didn't go for the food.

I went for the alcohol and the waitresses. Honestly, it was just that they just didn't have good food. Meat pies and everything is like potatoes, potatoes, potatoes. But that's what I like. Yeah, I love some meat and potatoes too. But I found the food to be just a little bland. Yeah, I ordered the full English. be just a little bland. Brand. Yeah, like I ordered the full English. I got a full English.

I should have ordered like, you know, I should have not ordered the full English. I got the full English and it's just like bacon. It's not the kind of bacon that we eat. Sausage I thought was gonna be like spicy and good. Ended up being very bland and big. It was big. It looked like a big dick on my plate.

It was a huge sausage. It was like, I'm serious. I don't know, three inches in girth, but then you eat it and it's just got, it didn't have a lot of flavor to it. So I thought, ah, that kind of sucks. What if you, and I love my mashed potatoes, and I love my carbohydrates, and I love my meat?

What if that's all that I ate what if I just like survived on mash? That's what I did And strangely enough so I go online and I start googling around British food right British food UK food London food. I'm trying to find a Video that would help walk me through exactly what is Considered English food and what is good. And instead what I get what landed for me was a lady who only eats potatoes. That's it. That's all she eats is potatoes and cheese. 24 hours a day, seven days a week for years on end. Lucky lady, I wish I could do this and not have my doctor yell at me or my wife.

I think it seems very healthy. There's nothing healthy about this, Chrissy, but we're not here to judge this lady's health. We're here to judge her lifestyle. So let's just make that clear. Okay. G-C-B Hey everybody, it's your favorite part of the show where I pine for more of your attention. First way you can help fill this hole in my soul, go to Apple and leave a sub-positive review.

It takes two seconds out of your day and it really does help grow the show. But there's no quid bro quo here. You don't have to give us anything to get something for free. Go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button and send us your physical address. We'll send you a 21 EPM sticker directly to your locale. You can also go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for fully edited episodes this same day they air here on the audio fee. 855-TCB-8383 is where you go to drop us a text message. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We take them all at 1-855-TCB-8383.

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for that kind gesture. Let's listen to those sponsors for a few minutes and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Brick. G-Z-B So I was trolling on the internet as I do like to do and I found a lady who has a strange food addiction and that food addiction Sounds delicious quite frankly. It's all potatoes. Oh Cheesy potatoes and I mean listen We've seen some strange food addictions on this show We saw the lady who would like to drink gasoline. We saw the lady who only ate rocks We saw the lady who was eating mattresses.

We saw a lot of strange things. There was a lady who was eating mattresses. That's not a joke. Wasn't there a for breeze one, two? Yes, the lady who like to hop for breeze. I can't stand the smell of for breeze. I don't know how someone huffs that up. I don't know, it's all for free.

I don't know. I took it out of my bathrooms because anytime somebody goes and takes a dump, it just smells like for breeze in my three of you now. I took it out of my bathrooms because, you know, anytime somebody goes and takes a dump, it just smells like for breeze in my house for five days, I hate it. So I'd rather just deal with your shit stink for a couple of hours than deal with for breeze for five days. So my opinion, sorry for breeze. For breeze, sponsors this episode of the commercial break. For breeze comes in 10 different flavors that you can never get rid of.

It doesn't get rid of the odors, it just makes it awkward. Yeah, try to mask. Alright, let's take a listen to this lady. 34 year old Kelly eats nothing but cheesy potatoes. Morning, new, and night. I love cheese and potatoes. It's ooey gooey and just yummy, yummy, yummy. Each and every day, Kelly eats a minimum of eight potatoes and four cups of cheese, amounting to a whopping 8,000 calories, and a whole cheese! 8,000 calories!

A day! And I'm just breaking my balls, trying to get under 2,500. And this lady's eating 8,000 calories a day and I'm just breaking my balls trying to get under 2500 and this lady's eating 8,000 calories a day Now she's got the body of someone who eats cheesy mashed potatoes 24 hours a day, but let's put that aside for a second How can you ingest 8,000 calories a day and your stomach still works? I don't know Yeah, it seems like there'd be digestive issues. Yeah, imagine this lady in the morning You would not want to be married to this. I'm telling you right now, you need, in that case I would allow the forbrees.

I'd say forbrees is allowed. For sure. When the guy's like, you know, meet Kelly, she only eats rhinoceros cock. I wish that's what he said. We're doing 76 grams of fat a day. When I eat cheesy potatoes, I mean it instantly puts a smile on my face. Of course!

Who does the good smile on their face with cheesy potatoes? Exactly. This is like one person I've ever known in my entire life that didn't want cheesy potatoes and all she ate was salsa. So, you know. Oh, right. Yeah. Over the course of a year, Kelly consumes about 3,000 pounds of potatoes.

Wow, and 23 times. Brian, I'm up. She's frying them up. She fries them up. She mashes them up. She makes them into chips. She puts up cheese on all kind of potatoes. And she was eating them like a nacho.

I know. What does wrong with this country, honestly? I mean, what is wrong with this country, honestly? I mean, what is wrong with that sense of society? There are children that are starving around the world. We've got so many problems. Kids dying in schools, you know, global warming, the whole nine yard, everything is everything is everything is the worst thing in the world. And this lady is able to eat cheesy potatoes like they were nachos at chiles, twenty-fars

a day, seven days a week. No problem, no problem. I guess at least she's not adding bacon and then dipping them in sour cream, because you know they have those. Yeah, that's what I would do. The loaded potatoes. Oh my God, the loaded potatoes. They're so good.

Oh, there was a time in my life on a loaded potato skin. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. This is what the time in my life when Fridays or chiles was about as nice as it got. And that time just ended about a year ago just letting you know I know just letting you know I finally got enough money to go somewhere besides Fridays or chilly I worked it out back when I was younger and said they had the

ah well the blooming onion and they had the fries with the bacon and the cheese and all of that I mean I was able to eat it now. Nope, nope. Doesn't work like that anymore. I know. It's so bad. It's so bad. Yeah. I go to that fucking rainforest, Cafe. And there's only one, there's a burger that I,

you know, you pretty safe bet with a burger, most of the time, even if it's bad, you can take a couple bites and eat the french fries. But then I go for the chicken fried chicken. No, it's a fine fork. Cafe. We love all animals except for that cow and those chickens, that pig, these fish.

So I ordered that chicken fried chicken and it comes out and I mean they couldn't even make the mashed potatoes, tastes good, but here's the point. I eat like five bites of that chicken fried chicken and my stomach is already revolting. I already feel so full. I'm like, okay, that's enough. I don't want anymore.

But there was a time when five orders of loaded baked potato skins was a meal. Oh yeah. Yeah. That time was usually after 20 bud lights. I was gonna say, I think we had some drunk and meal in our day. I know. I think the reason why I don't suffer hangovers as easily as I used to is because I can't eat like I used to.

So, you know, when I used to get really drunk before, I would just make sure I had an incredibly large meal before I passed out. And usually that would just absorb the alcohol I'd be fine in the morning. Now, I can't do that anymore because I don't even have gut issues. So, you know, what I do, I just don't drink. Right be fine in the morning. Now I can't do that anymore because I don't even have gut issues. So you know what I do? I just don't drink.

Right. More than the average American and close to 1500 cups of cheese. It's definitely more than a food. It's like cracked me. I gotta have it. As a child, Kelly ate other foods, but cheesy potatoes soon became her favorite.

My mom took me to fast food restaurant and they had cheese fried trice there and ever since I had those I just fell in love with them. Kelly's eating ham and trice. I've been trying her as a kid. Yeah. I'll only have cheesy potatoes. I want cheesy potatoes! No!

Cause some kids do get stuck on like a food when they're kids. Oh, it's hard. Come on, honey. What's up with double-woper? No, I want cheesy potato. I had to be so frustrating for the prayer. Oh, my God, I would have been fucking, I know this struggle.

Because sometimes these kids get something in their head. And they want it all the time. And they want it all the time. It's like, can I have more cheesy poofs? No, you can have more cheesy poofs. God, get it out of your head. You did, they don't even eat dinner. They just want cheesy poofs and ice cream.

Gings to Around age four, when she visited with relatives, there she was forced to eat food that didn't agree with her. My mom told them that I don't like ham and eggs. They made me eat them and I threw it up all over the table. So, that time, my diet has to be systemed up. She's in potatoes, every meal, breakfast, exclusively.

Okay, Kelly, let's, let's soak down here a little bit. Everybody has a shitty grandparent that was forcing food down their throat they didn't like. Okay, I didn't like fruit cake during Christmas, but I had to eat it. Ham and eggs doesn't sound too bad. Ham and eggs don't sound too bad. And why did you throw it up all over the table?

Probably just because she's gonna fit. Yeah, she worked herself up. She's a fucking brat. Kelly's nothing but a brat. I've determined. Young Kelly was a brat, and that's how she ended up like this. For probably 30 years.

Can I get three orders of french fries and can I have cheese put on those fries? I won't eat at work. I'll go through. Ah. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins.

I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins.

I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. I said I want 12 orders of baked potato skins. Yes. Okay. First window. I know. I had that pilot on the furgen Atlantic flight.

Where did God? He was giving us the most useless information. Yeah. Passing through some stratus clouds right now. There's a pain in the brain. Dude, I don't need the weather report in the sky. Nor do I need to know what the weather is eight hours before I lay on. And it should be sunny outside when we get there.

It's about 16 degrees. There's 22 Celsius around. It was going around. I don't know. Shout out and fly the plate. Drives you throughout lunch time. I don't really eat in front of other people. I don't really want people to know.

I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I wouldn't want people to know I'm consuming 8,000 calories of cheesy potatoes a day either Me and Kelly we've been very seven years You're cooking me I'm out of here. Oh wow Patchers, cooking and I'm very well You'd think the husband would have a few words, baller a side and be like, you're gonna die. We're gonna have to change something. Well, he's cooking vegetables. Yeah, I'm gonna say he could at least like rotate in

some good stuff. Yeah, you know what they say. Once a cheesy potato, mouth always a cheesy potato. Shut your cheesy potato mouth. Do you think she's Russian Bama? Okay, just check it. Well, watch it TV because I don't even like being in the kitchen. Kelly can't stand a smell or even touch most foods, especially vegetables. Well, first of all, this guy's cooking raw chicken with vegetables. That's a really bad idea. That's not how you do stir fry, is it?

Aren't you supposed to cook the chicken first and then throw in the vegetables? Okay. Should you try this because it's green? Oh, sorry. You're cooking meat. I'm out of here. When Patrick's cooking, I'm usually

more watching him eat. I'm out of here. Yeah, she said when you're cooking meat, I'm out of here. And then the narrator will go on to explain that she can't even stand the smell. But this guy looks to be cooking a relatively healthy meal. Yeah, she said when you're cooking meat, I'm outta here. And then the narrator will go on to explain that she can't even stand the smell. Right. But this guy looks to be cooking a relatively healthy meal. Yeah, like he's trying.

He's gonna give everybody salmonella, but he's trying. Right. Exactly. Listen, I lost 20 pounds when I got salmonella. May not be a bad idea. Being in touch. Kelly can't stand a smell or even touch most foods, especially vegetables.

Well, I want you to try this because it's a green vegetable. Every time I've tried to cook her a little something extra, she just refuses. Just try a little taste. What's she shaking? She's shaking and crying. Yeah. Why do I think this is a little dramatic?

Well, I think it's deeper than just... Oh, I'm sure of that. Yeah, I'm sure there's some kind of emotional problem. But you know, you get stuck on something. You do. And then your brain just won't let you go another place. Part of me thinks that's probably you need some therapy, but the other part of me thinks you just need to grow up

a little bit, yeah. I can't, I can't. She had a half of a floret of broccoli. Yeah, she, that's right. I can't, I can't. Doesn't have couple hundreds, process cheese. Wow. Where's my sour cream?

I wonder if he put the cheese on the broccoli. Quick, get me my thermos of sour cream. I drink 20, I hate cheesy potatoes, and I drink 22 ounces of sour cream every day. Two minutes. It's dramatic for me. Are you again, Ben? Good. Because of her aversion to other foods,

Kelly even eats in a different room than Patrick. A husband abs, really fantastic. Yeah, that's super. You can never share a meal together. Nothing like getting the family together for a meal in different rooms. That's all I grew up. I, my...

Before a husband and wife to never even be able to eat a meal together. This is one of those relationships that no one quite understands. Do you want to go to dinner tonight, honey? Yes, yes. You said it that. Do you want to go to dinner tonight, honey? Yes, I'm going to Burner's Tavern. Where are you going?

TGA Friday says the two for one on double-bubble cheesy tarts. I don't sit down and eat dinner with him. Over the last decade, Kelly's freaky eating has caused her to gain over 150 pounds. I'm surprised that's it. Yeah, I'm surprised that's it too. Isn't like a pound like 5,000 calories? 2,000 or something.

No, I think it's 5,000. 5 or 6,000. It's in the 5,000 range. But so she's eating an extra 5,000 calories a day. It's not hard to understand she might gain a pound a day. Yeah. A day.

Da, where's Dr. Now and you need him? Here he is told on her marriage. Sorry. He is like some, I am headed for the grave if I don't change my ways. I'm afraid that I'm gonna come home and find out that she's out of hard dock. If she doesn't get some kind of help,

she's not gonna last much longer. It's like years, I may not be around. I don't wanna die yet. I don't wanna live like this anymore. Okay, Kelly, I've got some advice for you. While I understand that you may, there may be some anxiety issues around this or some OCD issues around this.

Here's the thing. Stop being such a big baby. Eat a fucking vegetable. What's the big deal? Have some meat. Have something else. Have some kind of other potato with something on it. Why don't you have some potatoes with vegetables in it or make yourself a mashed potato stir

fries. Is that a thing? Can we make it a thing? No. Okay. Before Kelly's health deteriorates any further, Patrick has asked nutritionist GG Virgin. Oh these two. Encyclotherapist Dr. Mike Dow to intervene for a week of intense therapy. I love how they ambush her. Yeah, I love how they ambush her. I also love how the two of these adults human beings combined weigh less than 50 pounds. They're the skinniest people I have ever seen.

They are literally walking hangers. They have the clothes are hanging off them. Hi. Don't be alarmed. We were sent by your husband. Don't be alarmed. We're just walking up on you eating cheesy potatoes in your car.

I caught you. Yeah, we've got you. Your husband sent us to thoroughly embarrass you. Patrick, I'm Dr. Mike Dell. I'm a licensed psychotherapy specializing in addictive behaviors and disordered eating. I'm JJ Virgin. Hi. I'm a certified nutrition specialist and a certified health and fitness specialist.

Can we chat with you a bit? We can chat? Right. When JJ and Dr. Dell walked up, I didn't know that. I have four separate online degrees. I think it kind of startled me. Why do you eat in secret in the alley? I don't want people to know what I eat. That's how your conversation needs to start with someone that there is a definite problem.

Yeah, if the opening line is, why are you eating in secret in the Nally? My husband, Monemi, cheesy potatoes! Shame on you, Monemi. How has this impacted your health? I mean, right now, I'm okay, but heart disease runs in the family and diabetes. Kelly's health is a ticking time bomb. This is a critical time for Kelly. It's really make a break.

I am so worried about it. I know your husband's worried about it. And I also see that you know that the French fries and the cheese is actually on right now. Yeah, I know. I really want cheesy potatoes, too. I wish we had some right here in the studio Anybody has any cheesy potatoes send them along All right, I can guarantee you I know what happens next. They saved this lady from the cheesy potatoes. They make her eat a vegetable

We ran out of time. I talked too much. That's what I did. I talked too much. I'm sorry I ran out of time. Maybe we were visited. Maybe we won't don't get your hat hung on that one, but you get the point She's unhealthy because she's eating cheesy potatoes It's it's completely unlike completely different than cream and cereal. That's a different addiction altogether Just one two different. I'm waiting for somebody to pop up and like when I'm in the I'm in the kitchen at night and some guy just like dives through the window. I'm Dr. JJ Virgin and your wife wants to know why you're eating creamy cereal. It's really good, want to try?

No I don't eat food. Yeah, it's so good. So skinny. Alright, well if you're gonna rush BAM, I'll let us know. tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button. Comments, questions, concerns, content ideas. We're taking them all tcbpodcast.com. But most importantly, get your 21 EPM sticker

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Someone here on the team always responds, it's never spam, we don't sell your information, so give us a shout. 855-TCB-8383. At the commercial break on Instagram, hashtag TCBpodcast on TikTok. And most importantly, youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's where you'll find fully edited episodes of the show. The same day they air on the audio feed, comment, subscribe, like on your favorite video. Please leave us a review on Apple. It really does help the show. Grateful for every one of you. Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now. I think so.

So I will say that I love you. I love you. And I will tell you that best of you. I'm best of you. Best of you out there on the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say. We do say and we must say, Kionte Classico. Good bye!I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, I'm just a fool, you