The Commercial Break - Sincerely, This Sucks

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

Be authentic, sincere, and joyful in your Hardee’s recommendations, or at least fake it. That’s customer service, baby! It's Britney, bitch Bryan’s concerned Dr. Drew? Dr. Phil? Caffeine mania Everybody’s crazy, right? Britney has a new song coming out with Will.i.am (but Bryan and Krissy don’t know that yet) Krissy and Britney are buds… Web.3 A Hardee’s training video One customer at a time The service…phenomenal Bungee jumping, sex in water, and Taco Bell are for The Youth! PULL UP I want to go to Dinko’s… Be sincere, or at least fake it LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

But I don't like to do things that I don't want to do, and I don't feel the urge to achieve anything that hasn't been achieved. You're looking to quit before you start. Exactly! On this episode of the commercial break, we're all for $1 an hour. That's right, all for $99 cents an hour. You'll be serving some of the world's crappiest food to some of the world's silliest people.

For some of the world's lowest pay. But bring that enthusiasm to work every morning. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats again. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend friend and gorgeous co-host Chris enjoy. Holy best to you.

Chris and that's you Brian. Best to you out there is a podcast. You live out. Woo! Hey, let's revisit something that we talked about a long time ago. Okay. Britney Spears. Oh, rip, rip. Rip, rip.

Rip, rip, rip. Uh... Seems like she's having a little bit of a fit fit. I know, and I'm on this group text. Oh, Brit Brit. Brit Brit. Brit Brit. Seems like she's having a little bit of a fit fit. I know, and I'm on this group text with. You're on a group text about Britney Spears? Well, kind of. OK, tell me more. It is.

It is. Can I join the group? The name of the group text is girls who like to laugh or something like that. Oh. Anyway, so it's a bunch of this girl of this girls and some of them keep sending out stuff about Brittany. And I- You don't find it funny?

No, no, it's weird, but she was cooped up too long. Well, and now maybe we know why. Yeah, I don't know. I read an article. I also wanted to be free. I don't think. I don't know. I read an article. I also wanted to be free. I don't think anybody should be held captive against their own will unless, of course, they're a danger to themselves or other people.

And then I can see making a case for short term evaluation period, right? Like I have family members with mental health problems that have been institutionalized before. For reasons that were obvious, right? They were gonna harm themselves or possibly other people, or at least that's the way they were acting or talking. And that's a tough thing to go through.

Brittany Spears' dad made a whole shitload of money keeping her under lock and key. And so did his manager and everybody else with sucking on the Brittany Spears tit, Brit Brit's tit tits. You know what I'm saying? Now she's showing her tit tits to everybody. So, and God bless her, it's a tit.

Who cares? Is it look good? Yeah. And who fucking cares, it's a tit. It's like that free the nipple rule on Instagram. I have done a thorough investigation on the nipple rules around. I bet you have.

And I'm gonna tell you what, nothing stops somebody from showing nipples, except for one little sheer piece of clothing. You could literally put on a piece of plastic wrap and they would allow it because there's a piece of clothing on top of it But if you take that piece of plastic wrap off, it's not allowed and I understand they don't want it to become I'll remember that for my future pets Yeah, remember that next time you go to show your tits on Instagram and trust me go to Chrissy's Instagram and you only get those tith picks if you follow her. Go to our TikTok. Out of control. That's what you should do for your nipple.

Only if you follow. Can you control that? I think you can. Instead of deprived or something. But you know, we talked about this so long ago when it was all the rage to talk about Britney and free Britney. The movie came out for you, free Britney, whatever. I read something interesting a couple of weeks ago in that in some of the closed documentation around her court case, around her conservatorship. One of the reasons, one of the things that they said,

one of the doctors said, when they freed her, was she should not be left unattended around knives. Oh, Why? I can only venture, I guess, that she's either likes to juggle knives in her free time or they think she may harm somebody else or herself. Which seems like a strange, now these doctors probably had a dog in the fight too.

They got paid, I'm sure, lots of money to be taken care of or whatever, or appear in front of the judge on behalf of the conservatorship. But now, they just did like this TMZ investigates, which there is no other news that organization out there that does a better job at getting the hard facts than TMZ.

They do, they're hard hitting journalists. Hard hitting journalists. They do get all the scoop on everything first. They do. How do they do that? Because they pay people a ton of money to get the scoop first. They pay the most.

That's the name of the paparazzi gang. If you take a picture of somebody that, you know, you know, they're the most. That's the name of the paparazzi game. If you take a picture of somebody that's, you know, you know, they're the it person of the day, the it paparazzi person of the day, if you take a picture, you can make tens of thousands, sometimes hundreds of thousands of dollars on those pictures. And if you call in with a tip, I'm sure that Harvey pays you also

because that's how you make a good, you know, rumor mill business is you gotta pay people for the good stuff, right? Remember that Sleezeball lawyer that was running around like wiretapping people and he was Harvey Weinstein's private investigator, but now he works for Fox News and he's worked for ABC and I mean, none of them are innocent in this. They're all running around town basically spying on each other to try and get the dirt so they can leverage it in other ways. But Port Britt, she, they did this investigation and I watched just a part of it online and

people who are close to her inside the house with her say that sometimes she's up for three or four days in a row because she is highly addicted to caffeine. It seems that not now is making sense. Now it's making sense. When you're high on caffeine, I hate that feeling. I hate the feeling of being high on caffeine. Yeah, I like to have a good morning cuz. I like to have a good morning cap and that's it.

That's it. Now my morning cup is a trend to it's like four year ounces or something. But I drink it over the over a course of a couple of hours. They're saying she downs like three red bowls in 15 minutes. And that's then she'll stay up on these vendors, these caffeine vendors for days in a row. If you stay up for days in a row, you're gonna have a crusty ass

and you're gonna make some mistakes because no one can be on top of their game on the third day of up. You know how I know? Because I've been on the third day of up plenty of times. I have seen the sun rotate on the around the earth without closing my eyes a couple times and it's a miserable fucking feeling when you get to the day of up plenty of times. I have seen the sun rotate on the ground the earth without closing my eyes a couple times. And it's a miserable fucking feeling

when you get to the end of that. It is. When you know that you just can't go any longer, these not answering your phone calls anymore. There's no more stimulants to be had. You're trying desperately to figure out a way to come down gently like 18 to 24 bud lights, something along those lines.

But Brittany is, but then this made sense to me. One of the doctors, Dr. Drew, another bastion of truth and honesty. Dr. Drew said. He's one of the good ones. He's one of the good ones. I don't know. He's one of the ones.

Yeah. By the way, Dr. Phil turned into a total shithead. We'll get on that another time. But so Brittany is is doing this apparently according to Dr. Drew, could be doing this because people who have have Mania, you know, bipolar or Mania, they like that feeling of just being wired, right? That it's that Mania that they're addicted to,

not the depression, but the Mania, not the lows, but the highs. I can see that. I know this to be true myself from family members, that the mainia part, one particular family member, that mainia starts to take hold and I'm going to tell it's my mom. I've already told this, my mom, my mom, that mainia takes hold and guess what? She calls day and night. It's like never stops calling day and night,

my mom goes, like, crazy. When she gets in that Mania part, and now it starts to make sense to me that if she's feeling kind of black, right? She just starts drinking caffeine so she can get up and up and up and up. This is making me wonder. Maybe her dad isn't the best person

to have the conservatorship over her. Maybe it was her mom or her sister or somebody like that. But maybe Brittany should be attended to by somebody carrying in her life. Because is that really a great way to live? Is that really a great way to live long term? No. No.

But who are we to judge? And also, I just think maybe she's to have a social media manager. I think she needs to. Where's her husband in all this? That's what I was thinking. to judge and also I just think maybe she's used to have a social media manager. I think she needs to. Where's her husband in all this? That's what I was thinking. Yeah, where's her husband when she's showing her tits every five seconds? Yeah. Now that she can't show her tits, that's fine.

It's her body and it's her choice. It's her thing. Her husband doesn't need to make a decision about that. I'm just saying, and he has said, who's that guy's name? Sam, Elaconte or something? Sam, Sam, Sam, Bane. I don't know. It's on to you.

Yeah, Shanti. Sam, Shanti. Swade, Shanti. I don't know what he is. Yeah, Shantee. Sam Shantee. Swade Shantee. I think it does serve as an A, but... So somebody should probably intervene here and say, Hey, Britt Britt. I mean, the same could be said for like a Madonna. She's had some crazy stuff out there too on Instagram or any of the lesser known people that are out there that we just were not paying attention to, you know.

I would love to see Britney Spears make a huge solid comeback, right? She's Britney bitch. I know she's Britney bitch. Look at these motherfuckers. This Joe Jonas, the Jonas brothers, these Taylor Swift fucking Montlee, goddamn croop. You know that guy? You know that guy, Brett Michaels, the poison guy. Yes. Brett Michaels just bought a six million dollar vacation home in Los Angeles in cash. You want to know why? Because the poison tour made them a billion dollars, the

poison tour. Oh, everybody would go see her. I would go see her. If anybody came back, yeah. Beyonce's on the tour. Taylor Swift's on the tour. Joe, the Joe is on tour. Joe, the Joe is on tour. All of these people who were famous for a minute, a hot minute, not like a one hit wonder, but a hot minute, and then went away for a minute are not all making a billion dollars because that's the age of the people who now have expendable cash.

You can spend $500 on a ticket. Brittany is in that prime money-making zone. And she is, you know, by some accounts, maybe not my own, but by some accounts, a great performer. So if she just had a little bit of guidance, I think she could get back in that zone, right? But when you're on Instagram every 15 minutes, high on fucking, what is that toreine and boring and Snoring or whatever they put in that shit the most unnatural form of

Brian is what is that bowl semen or something they put in red bowl? That way they call it in the bowl semen. I don't think so. It's not bowl semen But I've been drinking bowl semen for no reason This whole time Chrissy Don't think so every day I grab my cup of bowl semen and I say it reason. This whole time, Chrissy. I don't think so. Every day I grab my cup of ball semen and I say, it's gonna be a good show, Chrissy. It's gonna be a good day.

Whoa, tastes like shit, but man, it keeps me going. That ball semen. I milk it myself. What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, I feel bad for Brittany. Because with every kind of, I didn't wanna say unhinged, but unfiltered social media post.

I think she's taken it's like another ding in her. Yeah, but press in her in her like in her in the aura that can become such a huge star. Like Michael Jackson started to become really unhinged toward the end of his life. And even though he was still beloved around the world, he couldn't quite get it together to get in and do a number of shows and string some stuff together. He tried, there was like fits and starts, and then he passed away.

He was in the process. Yeah, he was in the process of putting, yeah, but have you seen that footage? Yeah. It was crazy. It was not good. Yeah, I don't think he was gonna make it through show one, let alone show number 30, right?

So I'm just saying like, as a, I guess as a concerned human being, I get concerned for Brit Brit and her behavior sometimes. Yeah, everybody's crazy though. I know. I think, to me, especially after COVID, and in the age of social media, where you're always on if you're posting, you're always out there.

But she can recover quickly. Everybody can just do something good new, and then people forget about the old. Yeah, but how are you going to get it? I think Chrissy and Brittany have been talking to each other, and I think Chrissy is trying to protect her friend, Brittany here. So let's tell the truth. Chrissy and Brittany's spears have actually been friends for a long time. Back when Brittany shaved her head bald, you remember that big moment when everyone

went crazy for no reason whatsoever. She changed her hairstyle. Oh, Chrissy was actually the hair stylist that did that cut. And so what many of you don't know is that Chrissy and Brittany have a long history and now they're friends. And so Chrissy is, what do you have? Like four or five different events scheduled on Instagram to show your tits together.

And so we're really excited about this. All you have to do is go and follow Chrissy on Instagram. I said. And then you're gonna. Now I'm gonna actually start posting Instagram, Bayern. I'm gonna try to wiggle Chrissy buyin'. I'm a person that's trying to wiggle Christie as a Instagram.

I agree with you. You can turn it around. You can do something good. Put out a new album, go on a tour, set it all up. I see a little bit of a pattern here, and it concerns me for Brittany, the person, and Brittany, the very popular musician, right? Which is, is she slowly, in my opinion,

these posts are getting a little bit more unfiltered and unhinged as they go along, and I'm just concerned for her. I'm just concerned. Yeah, well, I mean, your concern is noted. My concern is noted. I'll relay that to Britney. Can you talk, when you talked to her,

about her new hairstyle? Brian is concerned. Brian is concerned and He has a very powerful microphone over 16 people in the greater Chicago land area are listening to this right now Yes, I will I'll relay that information Tell brim yeah. It's noted. Tell her to stop sending me tip picks. My wife doesn't like it.

I just, you know, Britney is a little bit of a crush on me. It's a whole thing. You know, Chrissy met Britney and then Britney and I dated for six or 12 months or whatever it was back in her conservatorship days. I was the only guy that her dad would let around that show. Yeah, no, because you're, I mean, that's what parents love. When you need somebody to come to Thanksgiving dinner, send in Brian Green.

And as soon as they ask me what I do, watch me dance. He's the happy. But I'm in the new media space. I'm a Web.3 guy. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, the new media. I make live NFTs that I send out to the world via the Meta mask. Exactly. Yes. And everybody's dad loves that. That's right. Because they have no fucking clue what I'm talking about, but it sounds exciting to them. Right. Yeah. I own 35 million shares of the commercial break. My grandfather asked Jeff the other day what he thought about AI. What did Jeff say?

Jeff very good answer. I thought he said, I think it's got a lot of potential to do good, but can also do harm. We in the back of our heads, we know he's watching Fox News to, it's for me to, Papa Joe. Oh, your dad's a Fox News watcher. No, Papa Joe.

Oh, Papa Joe, I'm not your dad. Papa Joe's a Fox News. Why do they have every retirement home in the world? I know. Do you know what I noticed when I moved to my mom? It's piped in. Yes, it is piped in. You know what I noticed?

Is it when I went to my mom's retirement home? They had TVs on in like the, you know, they have like a recreation area. It has news in the brand names. So they think it's news. It's straight news. But it's not news. Just like CNN's not news, right?

Right. Yeah. Oh, I mean, you can, there are facts in the most basic of sense, but they get squirreled around. Right. There are a few news sources that I trust unchecked. I'll watch a couple of the news channels and then I check them. Like this is a straight news. Yeah. I guess AP. Yeah. AP is a good. But I go into that retirement home and guess what's on? I checked them. Like this is a straight news wire. I guess AP. Yeah, AP's a good. But I go into that retirement home and guess what's on, there's 2TD, 2TV.

In the lobby. One is on Newsmax and the other one is on Fox News. Oh, God. And I'm like, motherfucker, they're just straight brainwashing these people. No, they are. And you know what? Fear does drive people to the right. That's true.

And when you get older, I think you get fearful because you're less competent, you're less able, you can't do things by yourself. I can see. You don't understand the new meeting. You don't understand web. Point three. It's my mom kept calling it. Web. Point three. Hi, Ryan. What's a web. Point three. And I'm like, oh, I have a friend that's doing web. Point three. They're doing now. They're drawing dicks and putting them on. Right. On open sea for $40 a pop

Those NFTs whatever the NFTs everybody's talking about those for me Well, they were but well in a way I just read something the other day that said that people are still buying them of course they are yeah It's still like a billion dollar business crazy. I'm not saying there's I don't get it I don't get it either. I'm not saying there's no utility to an NFT, but I think we've all, I don't wanna talk about the NFTs for another hour. Because we already did this like three hours,

there's three total hours of the commercial break is dedicated to me talking about NFTs. I think they have utility for rights management, essentially is what it is. But, you know, pictures that you draw with your pen on the laptop and then you And then you sell it for trying to sell it for a million dollars, right? If you're already like a well-known artist

Yeah, I could maybe see that but Bank see yeah, right, but just you would be no No didn't work. I told you I put the first commercial break logo, I made it as an NFT, I was just playing around, right? So I took that, I was trying to figure out what the process of making an NFT was. And so I put the first commercial break logo out there

for like point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, one, each, which is like, and now is 26. And someone thumbs down it. Chrissy, we haven't gotten one view on it. I checked a week ago, there's not one view. Not one person opened up the page. I'll have a look at you. I'll open see.

I'll show you. It's the major exchange for NFTs where you buy them, sell them and mint them. How about newfangled new me? Yeah, I know, that Web.3. It does kind of feel like NFTs is Web.3. We're going to the back. It's not even Web.1.0. It's like 0.3. It does kind of feel like NFT is Web.3. We're going to the back or it's not even Web.1.0. It's like 0.3. But you know, a teach their own, whatever you want to do. Now, I'd still take a board ape if anybody wants to send me one. I'll take one of those. I'll stay long. Yeah, whatever happened to that too, because

wasn't there was a comedian that was going gonna do a show with the ape. Was it board ape? Yeah, board ape but But with the show remember because that other guy bought it and like was holding a hostage while the comedian needed to get it Yeah, they're gonna make the show what happened on that show there are thousands and thousands of boardaches But I think we're talking about Seth Green if I'm not mistaken Seth Green got a board ape stole from him, stolen from him, and then someone sold it after they stole it, and then the guy who bought it is like,

I don't know, I just bought it from the guy. Yeah, I thought this is why we had NFTs in the first place. No. And so Jamie, Seth Green did make a deal with the guy. I think he, the guy bought it. Because he'd already like put it into a show. He was making. So what happened that show? I want to know who knows, but Seth Green got his board eight back. I

don't know. He paid something. Someone did something. I'm sure that this all got solved at the highest levels because when Seth Green's board eight goes missing, watch out. I'm the guy who $12,000 worth of Bitcoin just in some random wallet. Remember that? Yes, I do. So I don't know where my board is. I don't know. Somebody else has it.

And that's why I thought we had an FT's in the first place is to keep track of them. And now you can't even trick it. And to hold them hostage so that other people pay you for them. So Chrissy's next question is can you put an air tag on your NFT? Ha, ha, ha, baby, I don't know. Ugh. I just want to go back to the good old days, Chrissy. The good old days when things were way less complicated.

When you could walk in to a hardy's and get your double bubble shit burger, served with a smile and with good service, you didn't have to complain. I'm a little tin ash tray. And a little tin ash tray, and no one was shooting each other or throwing punches because he didn't have to complain. I'm a little 10 astray. And a little 10 astray. And no one was shooting each other or throwing punches because they didn't get their burger on time.

People are acting crazy in these fast food restaurants. I'm almost scared to go into them to be honest with you. Yeah. It's been a long tradition here on the commercial break to review corporate training videos. And because there's just so much gold in them. And I mean gold, like there's actual manners and responsibility and common sense,

but then there's so much bullshit in them too. That you can't help, but just have a little fun with them. Chrissy, I found a hearty straining video from the 70s that out 70s, the 70s themselves. Yes. Disco holds nothing on this hearty straining video, which I like to take a listen. What?

Let's do it. Without further ado, I was trolling on the internet. How'd you video, which I'd like to take a listen. Oh, what? Let's do it. Without further ado, I was trolling on the internet. How'd you do? As I do like to do. Hardy's training video. Come in your way. Let's see it. D-C-B.

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855-TCB-8383 is where you go to drop a SETECS message. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, we take them all at 1-855-TCB-8383. Add the commercial break on Instagram if you're into that kind of thing and tcd podcast on tiktok it's what I hear the kids are doing it's all the rage. One last thing if you could if you will if you would visit our sponsors websites buy their products if you're in the market for them and always use our specialized URLs or codes when in if you can they pay our bills and who knows you may be the reason we have electricity in the studio tomorrow, and I thank you ahead of time for that kind gesture. Let's listen to those sponsors for a few minutes and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial

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at The Commercial Break. TCB. There we go. Everyone hold on to your hats. Is this intro music? If you're wearing an NFT hat, hold on to it right now. Oh yeah! Hotties!

I have a big day today. Get your coffee for you here. And we'll see you then you get on your way. There we go. There you go, Peter. Thank you. We get a lot of customers like Peter who are regulars. And I mean by regular as he's going to take his morning dump in our bathroom.

Ah, there goes Peter, running to the bathroom, holding his anus. It's that breakfast. Breakfast, sundown. Yeah, that. Hardee's breakfast burrito with a cup of coffee is the way to get you going in the morning. Cause things moving. Yeah, you want to bowel movement? Get a get a breakfast burrito from hardies and a coffee and a coffee. That's a sure far away.

Amen. And especially that 70's hardies. Some people get really constipated. Yeah, I don't understand that either. Like all these older folks are drinking prunjos. Have a cup of coffee in a burrito in the morning. You'll be fine. Things will come flowing out. It never fails with me. No, biscuit.

The second that coffee touches my tongue, my body goes into instant reflex mode. Sometimes you'll catch me running down the hallway in my underwear, because I always keep a cup of cold coffee in the fridge from mode. Sometimes you'll catch me running down the hallway and my underwear. Cause I always keep a cup of cold coffee in the fridge from the day before, right? So I've always got it ready to go. I don't have to do anything.

Why? Because I know I don't have enough time to prepare the cold coffee or go to Starbucks for it. Because the second I start looking at the cold coffee, my buttholes start hurting. And my kids know too, they always run after me. Daddy, can I come with you? I'd prefer you didn't.

You're gonna go to therapy and say, oh, world smells like my dad's shit. The restaurant business is very competitive. There are a lot of very good people in their industry who are working very hard to make sure their restaurant is the customer's choice. To become the public's favorite takes good food, cleanliness, and good service. Good service involves much more than just getting food from the backline to the customer. That's why I've decided to give Peter a hand job here in the dining room. One customer at a time, we're making hardies the best. That's the one that's...

In the table, oh, remember those... Yeah, remember those tables? Yeah. No, it's a booth, but then there's a small little side table that sticks out. Yeah, because... For like an extra person. Because the architecture of the 70s was the worst architecture ever. Estimate.

It means seeing your restaurant as your customer does. Treating the customer in a way that leaves him feeling good about himself, about you, and about hearties. Yeah, where did this go? Well, this kind of service. Yeah, they didn't even put this in the training video anymore. Maybe feel good about myself. They say, welcome McDonald's training.

You're going to get two NFTs in your wallet now. Go, make your double bubble fart burgers, 799 an hour. You'll be great. Ah! Ha! They probably do training now in like pictures because people don't understand. They actually had to put pictures on the McDonald's keyboards

because some people were not understanding what they were reading. So they put pictures on the keyboards of the McDonald's back when I was working there. Really? Yeah, now maybe there were some people that got higher people who... Probably illegal immigrants. Yeah, or maybe some of them didn't know how to read yet. Maybe.

And like me, I wasn't that good at reading at 16 years old. Did you see the expose on the McDonald's chains and like Kentucky that were having tin year olds work there. 10 year olds. Yes. 10 year olds? 10. 10? Yeah, they're making it more late too.

It was bad. They were working overnight shifts. They were working with like two in the morning or something cleaning. How in the fuck does that have? They're bad. They got crazy. They got fine.

Oh my God. Jesus. That's child labor. Yeah. I was labor under that umbrella. It doesn'ted. Oh my god. Jesus. That's child labor. Yeah. I was like, yeah, I was under that umbrella. It doesn't matter how much they're getting paid. That money ain't going to them. Yeah.

That's fucking insane. That's what I saw in McDonald's. I would be crazy. They're x-rated. And an NC 17, if you remember what that is. You and come back to heart. Very nice, Suggestive Selling Jim. Thank you. Very nice, Sugive selling, Jim. Thank you.

Very nice, suggested selling, Jim. Your wife's beautiful. Can I have her phone number? Our service procedure on the front line and the drive-through service are designed to maximize our level of service. But good service is more than just following the book. Our service procedures require your enthusiasm, your sincerity, your human touch to bring them to life. Oh, for $1 an hour.

That's right, all for 99 cents an hour. You'll be serving some of the world's crappiest food to some of the world's silliest people. For some of the world's lowest pay. But bring that enthusiasm to work every morning. These procedures don't deal with handling hamburgers, buns or condiments. They deal with handling people. Handling people. I'm going to show you right now on Mary.

Hey Mary, nice to see you. Let me feel that. Yeah. My, uh, my boss said I had to get out here and handle people. So you don't mind, do you? We've identified some of the service skills you'll want to keep in mind. The way you look two customers and the way you look at them means a lot. Maintain good eye contact and smile.

You'll need a little medium coat. Would you like a bit of cookie with that order? Yes, please. Fine. The wh- Fine. Ha-ha-ha. Fine.

Who says that? like his brain? Who oh the guy behind the counter? Yeah, did they give those out of it? It's not like a hearty's uniform thing I don't remember the braze. I don't remember hardies. I don't think I ever went to a hearties Oh, did you ever go to hardies? The hearties butter biscuit. Yeah. Oh really? Yeah, that wasn't a thing where I grew up Like I didn't there weren't a lot of hardies or there weren't there wasn't a hearties That's where they had the little tin ash trays Yeah, it wasn't a thing where I grew up. Like, there weren't a lot of hardies, or there wasn't a hardies. That's where they had the little tin-ass trays. You know, well, they had them at McDonald's too.

And they had them at Batacobel too. You know where my grandpa loved that Taco Bell. That Taco salad and a couple of hard tacos. I used to love Taco Bell. I can't in good conscience anymore. No. Because it's dog food. That's why.

But I did use to love a burrito from there. Oh. Or there's a little Mexican pizzas. There are a couple of things. Bungie jumping, sex, in a pool. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

But jumping out is talking. Sex in a pool. Sex in a pool. And Taco Bell. These are things you do when you're young. Yeah. The sex and a pool thing. Jeff and I just talked about it the other day

because we saw it on TV. It was our sex and sex and like a bathtub. And I was like, it, we were probably like, it looks good. Yeah. It looks good. In reality. Anybody who's ever had sex and water knows, it's not great. Now I know I that girl in, what's that movie?

Showgirls? Now I know I Elizabeth Hurley, or whatever her name was, Elizabeth Burkley, or whatever her name was. Now I know why she was overacting, because you really do have to pound somebody's cock that hard to even feel it. When water gets between you and a vagina,

you're not gonna feel anything. And either she. Others have a smooth mood. No. There's friction in that water. Listen, the universe knew what it was doing when it made those vaginal juices. You know what I'm saying?

Let God do her work. Let's not get water involved. You've been complicating things. A bedroom lights off five to 10 minutes. That's all you need kids. So like I said, bungee jumping, sex and water and Taco Bell. Those are for the young people. That's for the youth. Can you say something? Can mean as much as what you say. Speaking of friendly outgoing way. Know your job. Hello. Hey, Juggles! That's on the same page.

Hello, sir. Uh, I'm sorry. Huh? Do you want me to order? Oh no! Okay, I'd like two cheeseburgers. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pull forward. And then you're like, wait, wait, uh, two cheeseburgers. Okay, I'd like to cheese And then you're like wait wait two cheeseburgers no one you know pick up

But I'm not done yet I'm not done yet Hello Am I supposed to order? Can I order? Okay, I just said I wanted two cheeseburgers. No onions, no pickles. I don't need a night's cream. Okay, can I talk to your manager?

Can I pull round? I hate those drive-through windows. I never go to them. Unless you go to like a Starbucks drive-through window. I was gonna say, I went to Starbucks and... My name is Dean. What's your name? I know, right?

And you're like, we don't know each other, but it's Brian. Listen to the other day. I was actually in the waiting room. And as is per usual, a lot of times you tell me, we decide on a time and then you say never mind. Yeah, then I go. I've already met a provider.

Two hours after that. So I was like, well, I'm kind of hungry. I'm going to get to get to the Starbucks. Yeah. I was like, well, I'm kind of hungry. I'm gonna get a guy to get the Starbucks. Get with it. Those little sandwiches. I used to love that Gouda, the turkey. The Gouda in Turkey. They take it that away.

Oh fuckers. They've taken it away. Anyways, I go through. I'm thinking that the Gouda is gonna be there, but I go through and they were so nice. They're here. And it was kind of an in between moment, too, where there was a car.

And I couldn't put all the way up I got it and she said, you know, hey, what is your you know my name's Katie and what's your name? And I was like and she goes oh, I see that you're not quite to the wind of yet, you know, how do you see that? Cameras now in the windows. Yeah, I was like, okay, so I pulled up and then I ordered and then And then she gave me my coffee she goes i think i uh... i wrote cracky uh... and so i was like well i'll be cracky today starbucks

i'm my name is davon having a wonderful day what's your name? hardies My name is Dave. I'm having a wonderful day. What's your name? Hardies. Right. And silly. Chickalays are really good too. Oh yeah, Chick-fil-A. They actually have people at your car. They drive through people's stand at the car. It's always some 17 year old girl standing at the car.

And daddy's like, my kids are always like, who's that? And I'm like, I don't know. But Chick-fil-A knows how to hire. I don't know, but they're definitely Christian. You're a good team player and concentrate. Your customers will know whether you're on the ball. Move quickly. $3. If you convey a sense of enthusiasm and urgency about getting the order to your customer

The customer will feel important and will appreciate it That's why we suggest crystal meth For every shift or Britney's Yeah, Britney's's four forty five milligrams of caffeine every hour and cell ever and the salesman are cinnamon and raisin biscuits are homemade so what your customers know we're proud of them and be sure to tell your customers that let your customers know you're proud of them. I'm not sure if I'm right in the back of it.

You want more? No, just a cheeseburger. You get more. That's a proud. That's a surprise. Special promotions we may be running. The customer's first impression of hearties is for great camera working.

Yeah. Is that Billy? No, it looks like my dad. It looks like Billy. It's like dad taking a home video. Oh yeah, because you zoom in and then zoom out. Zoom in, zoom out, zoom in, zoom out. Before he even comes in the door, the way the grounds around your restaurant look

can affect a customer's appetite. The times that form lasting impressions of Hardie's and our customer' minds. I'm so desperately hungry and anytime I go to a fast food joint, then I don't care. I was thinking to say shit. It gives a shit. Yeah. There's a smash. There's a trash on the side. Sorry, I'm going in. And that's what's sad about it now too, is that like I already expect the place to be trashed and disgusting. Are our moments of truth. Unless it's a Starbucks or Chick-fil-A. That's true.

How wide are we? Starbucks or Chick-fil-A. That's where all of us white people go. So stupid. The customer's first impression of you is a crucial moment of truth. Why did you take it all to play? When the customer arrives, don't wait for him to talk. Smile and greet him.

Make him feel welcome. Look. What if you just pulled up and they were like, I did not. I want you to see my smile first. Pleasure. Pleasant. Remember, you're making a first impression. You'll find that if you learn the names of your regular customers and greet them by name, they'll appreciate it and we'll remember you soon. I mean, you would have to be really regular like to get to know because not everybody's working every day at the same time.

I can't remember one. So if you are able to be like, if you're able to remember somebody's name, they must be coming in every day. Every single day. I don't remember one single customer from my time at McDonald's, not Bob, definitely not Bob. But I do remember customers that sat at my bar every fucking night.

And I still remember what they drank because you just, you build a relationship with them. There's no time to build a relationship in five seconds. I worked in McDonald's in the 90s, and let me tell you something right now, no one gave a shout about the guy who was taking their order or putting it together. I didn't have time to affect their day.

I was just hoping I got it right. But were you proud of what you were making? I was high is what I was. The youngest 24-team. Customers are turned off by a group. Dinkos. Dinkos Dinko Okay, if you're not watching this a picture a really bad hand drawn picture looks like beevus and

but now just showed up for some random reason like of drawing just showed up and it says Dinkos Like it's another fast food place. Yeah, and and the name of the place is Dinkos. Yes, and obviously they have not clean they have not taken the time to clean and be proud of it. They have not been getting to nethergusts. That's true. Feeding that sounds like a memorized speech. Welcome to Dinkos.

How am I the Dinko Delight? How am I the Dinko Delight? Hope. Welcome to Dinko. Well, that was done in the south. Welcome to Dinko. Yeah, they're making fun of the southern people. Welcome to Dinkos. of the ding dong Dinkos

Dill Dill Dill Dill Dicks Double bubble bubble bubble burger The double bubble gut buster. How can I help you? Wish you vary what you say in your breeding of customers. Hi, well, you'll sound more sincere. Wow. That was the most seventies woman I've ever seen. I don't know if she can see out of this class. Hey, he's centered. Look at that. Look. This is a thing back in the seventies. Transitions were just starting to come into the kind that when that light hits them,

then they turned dark. The problem was the original transitions did not know that it could not tell UV rays from other rays. If you were in a well lit restaurant, you're sunglasses on. It's so stupid. You'll sound more sincere. Sincereity is one of those things that people can easily describe, but they know it when they see it. The key to being sincere is to be yourself.

Even the key to being sincere, why out Uranus? Mag. Oh, we want to know. Smile and greet our customers as soon as they approach the serving counter. It's not always appropriate to ask for their orders right away. Many people will know exactly what they're doing. What? It's not appropriate to ask for their order right away.

Hey, what's up? This isn't the fucking Salt Bay's restaurant. I'm not here to make friends with the chef. Like I just want my double-bubber bastard burger, and I want to leave. Want when they come in? But... Oops, sorry. Or give him a minute or suggest a sandwich he might like.

Hi, you need some of the Saturday? How about a big deluxe sandwich and an apple turnover? What's on a big deluxe? Okay, you get mayonnaise. Well, it's a big old pile of fuck you with a side of a dick. How do you need a minute? There's, meanwhile, there's a crowd of fuck you with a side of a dick. I'm a good deluxe. Hi, do you need a minute? There's, meanwhile, there's a crowd of people behind her. Do you need a minute?

That's not what I said when I were in the McDonald's. What do you want? Well, can I get to you? Okay, if you don't know what you want, can you step to the side or go to the back of the line? You've had 15 minutes in line to wait, decide what you want. Now you wanna know what's on the deluxe?

A big fuck fat you. Suggestive selling can often help the customer. It can encourage him to sample something on our menu he hasn't tried yet. And it builds our business. Now you're ready to take the order. Would you like bleach? Cold bleach. The delicious tasty tree that you get your gut going in the morning.

Maybe a good time to ask the customer ifarily plans to eat in the dining room. If you have someone to help you, they'll know right away whether to get a tray or a bag. Other appropriate times are when you smile and greet. And I'm gonna take you to go, what are going through the drops through? Well, I go, I actually, I don't go through the drive-through anymore.

I only go inside. Because of the, because of, yeah, because of this, because of the, ah, ah. Those damn things are turned up way too loud. Everyone's screaming at me. I just don't like it. Unless I have kids in the car,

then that's maybe the reason why I would go. But the other thing is that I feel like if there's something wrong with my order, I can address it immediately inside the restaurant and I don't have to then pull over, look through the bag, get out of the car, blah, blah, blah. When I have kids in the car, I don't even look because I'm like something's wrong and I just gonna deal with it when I get home. Or after you finish taking the order, pay attention to what

the customer says while ordering. So you're sure you're getting the order right? I'm driving a small coke. That'd be a large fry? Yes. Suggesting a large size when the order does not specify size is called selling up. Selling up. You'll load $2,000. What? You didn't want the... $43,000, $26,000 and $40,000, change. Please follow forward. Second window. Sell up. Think, Sprion. I've got your Trenta coffee with a good and turkey and a cheese Danish. That'll be $6,200 and 45 cents.

Does that sound much Starbucks costs? I don't. Enter the order on your terminal, being sure to clarify sizes. Save any other questions you may have so the customer can look at that keyboard. I was going to say that last. Wow. It's have. So the cut. Okay, at that keyboard. I was gonna say that once. Wow, it's complicated. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah, they had to dumb it down. We're looking at the, they're doing a shot of the keyboard that she's using to plug in the order and it's got a hundred buttons on it and each one has got tiny little writing. I guess. Well, in McDonald's, they had pictures on there, but it used to be French fries, potato-related items, and then burgers, and then fish, and then chicken. They were all different color-coordinated. That way you could be as dumb as possible and still work there.

The American keep his train of thought. That big to hear? Yes. When the customer is through, ask whatever questions you may still have. I'm fine. If you do not have an opportunity to sell up, suggest something to round out the meal and add. I have a question. $15 a.m.

No? Okay, we'll talk tomorrow. Bye, Donna. Oh, like a big cookie. That's suggestive selling too. Avoid the phrase. We're back to DINCO. DINCO.

Is that all? It encourages the customer to stop right there. Is that all? Yes it is. All right, we got to stop at some point. Maybe we'll go back to the hardy. I've watched this whole video and it's just like, it's classic 70s, 60s, 70s training material where they are so bright and sun shiny and they make it seem like you just got the most important job in the world. Yeah. Maybe the world could use a little bit more of that.

I did. I did. And you know what? Here's the thing. While I didn't, like I wasn't embarrassed about working at McDonald's, I was one of the few kids that was working at my age, right? So I was proud to be working. I felt, I took a lot of pride in the fact that I worked hard, but they taught us some of the same stuff, like be proud of who you are, what you're doing of the, you know, clean up, blah, blah, blah.

Some of that kind of got into my head, and I did feel like I wanted to really help the customer. However, then I dealt with the customer and things turned around. Yeah. And, and really help the customer. However, then I dealt with the customer and things turned around. Done. And that's the good one. That's right. Get a few carons come through the drive-through and you'll see how things go.

We actually had an employee once that dumped a milkshake on a fur coat that a lady was wearing. Because she was anti-fur. And she dumped a milkshake for a chocolate milkshake. A statement on this lady was wearing a fur. I'll never forget it The police came they took a report. They almost arrested the girlfriend for god's sake. It was a whole fucking drama Here's my thing don't be a political activist and work at McDonald's if you don't like fur and you're handling meat all day long Do you see them saying yeah, they're literally killing millions and millions of roaches or whatever they put in that food

They're killing millions of roaches back there, but you're worried about some ladies fur You're working for the devil! TCBpodcast.com. That's where you go find out more information about Chrissy and I. You can read all the show notes, all the audio, all the video right there for your taking. Brian, Kechils. See Chrissy's nipples and are good friend Bittany Spears.

By the way, just to be clear, Chrissy is not friends with Brittany Spears in case you didn't pick up on the sarcasm. And I only wish her well. I'm not saying she should be back in a conservatorship. No, yeah, exactly. I'm just a little concerned about some of these Instagram posts that I'm seeing. They're getting a little wild.

So TCP podcast, go there, you can get your free 21EPM sticker, send us your address, tell us you want a sticker. If you want us to sign it, a lot of people are asking us to sign these things, and I don't know why. It's worth nothing. Yeah, I'll sign it, and I'm happy to do it. 855-TCB-8383. You're all by your left team. 855-TCB-8383, toll free from anywhere in the world.

Add the commercial break on Instagram, youtube.com, slash the commercial break, full episodes, every time they air here. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do today. That's exciting. I love you. I love you. Best of you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye. I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm so tired