The Commercial Break - Sister Host Wanted

Episode Date: April 11, 2024

There's nothing quite like reading through suburban NextDoor, and the best people to guide you through that journey are, of course, Bryan & Krissy. The old diatribe Our best reviews Venezuelan propaganda Snapchat sidebar NextDoor is where it’s at baby Downtown NextDoor vs suburban NextDoor Co-sleeping Barbara Corcoran’s bedroom situation Shark Tank Joanna Hausmann is coming back to the show! Masters talk Golf drama! Snowman rules? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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For a gambling problem, call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. I'm off-putting, I'm an embarrassment, but I'm also a legend, oddly. Possibly a legend for being embarrassing, but I'll own that. On this episode of The Commercial Break. I was speaking with someone a couple of weekends ago, someone we don't know, someone I haven't met. You met someone without me? Next episode of the Commercial Break. Wanted sister host, thanks. Yeah, put it on Nextdoor. I will put it on Nextdoor. Let's see what happens. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Peace!

Aw yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is definitely the alien of the show. Kristin Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristin. Best to you, Brian. Best to you, Brian! Best to you out there in the podcast universe! Still can't get rid of that alien. I was gonna say, aww, I missed it.

I know. We used to do it before every show. Every single episode, season three, probably most of season four. Well, yeah, definitely all of season three. We did the alien's noise. And then I had this diatribe that I would go on for six and a half minutes before anybody started getting interested in what I was actually talking about. So dumb. So dumb. 112 episodes or something along those lines ruined by Brian's five minute diatribe. Thanks for joining us. Welcome back. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this little commercial break Not for everyone

My computer's a fiction five minutes of this or you're running back guaranteed. Hey you heard her here last Cheesecake Factory a podcast. Thank you I added that to our show notes to like our actual podcast notes. Yeah the Cheesecake Factory I'm just gonna to change the show, like the little what's it about on Apple and Spotify and stuff. I'm just going to change it every month or two and just add something else funny in there. While we're speaking of Apple and Spotify, I wanted to say thank you very much to all those who are leaving nice reviews about us on the Apple podcast system and even those

who are not. That's okay. You Apple podcast system, and even those who are not, that's okay, you're not so nice, I can take it. I cry at night, but I'll take it alone. It means you're out there. Yeah, luckily I don't have a conjoined twin where I have to cry, we have to cry together. G Hammock says, Chrissy, Brian, Tina, Mom, Astrid, Jerry, what a bunch, I don't know who Jerry is, but you're welcome.

I wonder who Jerry was. I know, who's Jerry? Jerry? Well, whichever other podcast Jerry's on, Jerry's doing a great job too. Oh, they have me laughing on the road at home on the subway. I need more laughs in my life. It's perfect, thank you very much.

Boom Giggles says, Venezuelan propaganda. I love that one. It's my favorite review ever. Super funny and a great listen. It usually makes me laugh, though it might be produced by the Venezuelan government in an attempt to soften American attitude toward their culture. We were just talking about Venezuela earlier.

I know, but I don't, no, I have nothing to do with Venezuela. They sure do think they're funny. I have no idea who's giving good reviews for this boring podcast. Which is three out of the four times that we recorded. Who, ha, who, nah. This guy says, I agree with the others in the reviews. I can't stop laughing when these two start with who's not. I will knock TCB a little bit for, I'm assuming busting on the religion, but I will forgive you this time.

Fuck you. This is just two people talking about nothing. Not sure what the hype is. I give it a star for the effort. They gave me two. Thanks. Heard of this on Conan and so intrigued. So I sampled a few episodes. I don't see how this is funny or even improve. Well, it's definitely not improving. I'll give you that. More like ADHD ramblings of a middle-aged white guy. Basically Brian talking and doing voices.

Exactly! You got it. You did it. I'm putting that synopsis next month on Apple. You win. Basically a guy talking. You win. I guarantee that guy is still listening. Guarantee it. He hates me. He hates me.

People hate me, they do. When they write reviews, it very rarely mentions Chrissy and always mentions me. But that's okay, fuck you. The truth is, I'm surprised our rating is as high as it is because it's usually the ones that dislike the show that leave the reviews. I mean, there's certainly-

Well, that's with anything. Bad, you know, restaurants, that kind of thing. Restaurants, all that other stuff. But thank you to those that leave the reviews. I mean, there's certainly- Well, that's with anything, bad, you know, anything, yeah. Restaurants, that kind of thing, whatever. Restaurants, all that other stuff. But thank you to those who are leaving reviews. Even if it's a bad review, I'll take it. We can take it out of the chin.

We can give it, we can take it. And that's exactly what this show is. ADHD ramblings of two middle-aged white people. Like every other podcast on Apple, that's it. Exactly. Yeah, there are very few that are not the middle-aged ramblings of white people. I'm just sharing that with you right now,

just in case you didn't get what a podcast was. That's why I'm so interested in podcasts that don't have middle-aged white people on them. Those are the really, those are the good ones. We should turn to true crime. Yeah, I thought about doing like, you know, we did Hand, Bone and Holy. I was thinking about doing like a true crime where we dissect a crime that we have committed. You know what I'm saying?

That we committed. Yeah. Like murdered the comedy podcast industry altogether. I like it. But you know, onward and upward. You know, I do have to say this, I'll share that I have, for a long time, I did not look at the Apple reviews very much because when a bad one would come in, I'd feel hurt, right? It's hard not to feel just a little bit upset when you have five reviews and three of them are about how

awful you are. But now that we've got a couple thousand of them, I learned to take it on the chin. Yeah, you have to take the good with the bad. You take the good with the bad. I don't take the good all that seriously. I don't take the bad all that seriously. I look at it as a positive that they cared so much to actually write something. Yeah, that's the other thing. And they were listening. I'm always, every time that I read a bad review, I am always reminded of the movie Private

Parts with Howard Stern, where they're reviewing the beginning of his career. He goes to New York. And not that we are Howard Stern, so don't write a fucking review saying, these guys comparing themselves to Howard Stern, fuck that. Fuck you. Okay? Sorry, Howard's too woke for you. In the movie, he's on at night.

He does some horribly chauvinistic bit or whatever it is. God, that show used to really be pretty bad. It was a different time, just a different place. And the manager comes in in the morning, the phones are ringing off the hook and they, he comes in and the manager comes in in the morning, the phones are ringing off the hook and some guy comes up and says, Hey, listen, we've had, uh, you know, Howard show is received, you know, whatever a thousand complaints, you know, the phones won't stop ringing, blah, blah, blah. And he goes, that's it. That's the ammunition we need to fire this asshole. And he goes, well, that's kind of the strange

thing. Actually we did some polling and the people who liked the show listened for whatever, 10 hours a week. And the people who disliked the show listened for 20 hours a week. So I actually think it's a good thing. And so, you know, when someone takes the time to write a review, they've at least listened to the show and that's all that matters. So thank you. Exactly. That's what I think of. Thank you. And our sponsors, thank you, by the way, also. Could you do me a favor while you're leaving the bad review? Drop our sponsor's code.

Drop our specialized URL in our sponsor's webpage so it makes everybody happy. Speaking of bad reviews in general, bad internet writing, I thought we would take today and we would review some next door posts. Oh, next door. What do you think, next door. Next door. Remember? Do you need me to pull mine out?

Speaking of middle-aged white people. Ranting. Ranting. The ramblings of middle-aged white people. This is more, I think, the ramblings of old white people, but that's okay. Either way, next door is the whitest app I've ever been on. People are worried about Snapchat. Oh, let me do a little sidebar here.

Snapchat is now paying. You can now rank your friends on Snapchat. And if you pay money, you can see how you're ranked with your friends. This is about to destroy the psyche of some teenagers. As if it can get any worse. It just got 10 times worse. Because Snapchat, I don't think,

is figuring out a great way to make money. So now they're just charging their users to see these analytics, which are going to depress everybody. That's fucking sick. You want to get depressed, read my reviews and stay away from fucking Snapchat. Okay? That's it. That's all you need to know. It's absolutely insane. And there are so many- It just keeps spiraling worse and worse and worse. There's a big backlash. Listen, there's a lot of local governments, city governments, state governments, maybe the federal government has been talking about this for a while. It's affecting the mental health of our society. And I think people are starting to get a little bit more serious about putting some kind of, you know, guardrails on what's going on.

And you know, and it's all about that that's what everybody else is doing. So you feel like about putting some kind of guardrails on what's going on. And it's all about that, that's what everybody else is doing, so you feel like you have to be there. I was listening to another podcast, I think it was the Hidden Brain, I love that one. Yeah, was Shankar Vidal, or how do you say his name? Oh, I don't know, I don't even wanna slaughter it,

so I'm not gonna say it, yeah. So he had somebody on talking about this exact thing, and he said that he took a poll with these college-age kids that said, well, they feel like they had to be on there basically because everybody else was, but if everybody else wasn't on there, they wouldn't feel like they had to be here. Be on there. Yeah. Well, it's...

Listen, the state of Florida just made it illegal for anyone under the age of 13 to have a social media account. It's illegal for the social media companies to give an account to anyone that's under the age of 13. It's damaging. It's damaging. I will keep my children away from it as long as I possibly can because, and I'm hoping, there was an interesting article that I read that said that the babies that are being born

today will not be social media babies. They won't be iPad babies is what they really called it because parents, us, are now have been through this and we see that social media and that, you know, sticking an iPad in front of a kid 24 hours a day is just terrible for their psyche. It's terrible for their brains. And yeah, so I do what my parents did. Instead of sticking my kids in front what I do, what my parents did instead of sticking my kids in front of an iPad, I stick them in front of the TV. That's the way you're supposed to do it. Right. Yes. Go back to the way it was back in the old days. Social media, what's that? Uh, but let's get back to next door because this is the application

I think we should all truly be worried about. I think we're all open arms about Snapchat and all the other, you know, Instictock and all that other bullshit. This is what we should be worried about. The crazy human beings, which is most old white people who are on Nextdoor asking questions that could be answered by literally anybody. Ready? Yes. Who?

Okay. Oh, I wanted to start with this one. Hi, neighbors. Trying to- Hi. Trying to plan a trip to Portugal. Does anyone have any idea how I look for interesting things or plan itineraries? Google!

Google. What the fuck? Or a travel agent even. Those have been around for a while. Yes. I can't remember if I fed my dog. Does anyone have an app that helps you keep track? Picture of dog included. What was the other one? Do not pay for a triple a membership.

We've been waiting for a tow for almost an hour. We requested tow at 10 AM now 1125 a.m. and there's still no sign of it. Save your money. Okay. All right, got it. 10-4. Looking for someone to help blow leaves off my roof. Is there any tall person or someone with a ladder? They don't make them nine feet yet, I don't think. What are you doing? Go to the Hawks game. See if you can get one of those guys. Come over and blow your leaves. Blow your leaves.

I lost my driver's license and I'm looking for a number to call to ask what I need to do to replace it. When I use the yellow pages, I call the number and all they give you is the runaround. Does anyone know where the office is? Better yet, a real phone number I can call. After searching all scenarios as to where I might have lost it, I finally just realized I need to replace it. Please help. Thank you. Marlene." Marlene.

Please help. Please help me. Peace. Yeah, it's like, what world are they living in? Please be aware of deer at night. Of the neighborhood, she's saying the name of the neighborhood, has been seeing many deer at night. I saw the cops with one the other night. What are the cops doing with the deer?

Uh oh, scandal is rocking this neighborhood. Cops are going around fucking near in Georgia! I saw the cops with one! I call fake news. I saw the cops with one! What? I'm just like reading them, I'm just scrolling. I'm not even trying. I just I'm just like reading them. I'm just scrolling. I'm not even trying. I just picked up this email. Where do you pick up an email from?

I have AT&T. This doesn't look legit to me due to address. Am I right? The address is dwight.markin at reagan.com. Starting April 5th, customers are yet to update their account will no longer be able to log in. Please click here. Well, Nancy, you got that one right. You saved yourself some drama there.

Hi, neighbors. A small portion of my door frame is rotten and I'm looking to get it fixed. Okay. Yes. Does anyone know where I can get a small piece of a door frame or a handyman with one? Do you think handymen just carry around door frames? Pieces of door frames. Yeah, just pieces of door frames. My wife spotted a bald eagle flying overhead. No, she didn't.

There are no bald eagles in Georgia. What the fuck are you talking about? This is so much fun. I just want to do this for the rest. Hello and happy people. Well, that's not even great English. Looking for a reliable bathroom that has a standing shower. Nicole Soule-A reliable bathroom.

Jared Slauson Thanks in advance. Nicole Soule-A helpful. Jared Slauson Yeah, why not? Refrigerator repair. Our freezer went out last night and I had to call Mr. Fix-It for backup recommendations, whatever that means. Does anybody have experience with this? We will need someone quick as the water is starting to flow from the freezer. Well, good thing you're checking in on an app. Oh, this day spa on this road is closing permanently, effective immediately, with no notice. The issue is that my wife and I recently received hundreds of dollars in gift certificates from

family and co-workers, which are apparently now worthless. I've spent so much money and I've tried to contact them with no luck. Very, very upset. You didn't spend any money. You got it. That's a gift, very upset. You didn't spend any money. You got it. That's a gift, you asshole. To which some other neighbor says, oh no, that's too bad. I also have $200 worth of gift certificate. We should call together. Let's call together.

The number is not active. He just stated. But let's call and get a dial tone together. Does anyone have a recommendation for a chiropractor? Google! Powerball jackpot, $900 million. Alert, Powerball is now $900 million. Does anyone wanna go in with me?

Sure, I'll buy the tickets and split it with you, no problem. Just a random person. I'm just sharing this post to let everyone know what's going on and how very close it is. It's not my post. Human trafficking. Sorry for any confusion. I'm all kind of confused. Thank you for apologizing because actually I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. He just writes human trafficking in all capital letters. Human trafficking! By the way, that got a hundred and fifty hearts. Someone knows something.

Does anyone know why the police just drove by my house with the blue lights on. Oh my God. Human trafficking, didn't you just read? It's human trafficking. I think we're gonna have to do the whole episode just me reading like store posts. This guy names a restaurant, he names where the location is Like store post. This guy names a restaurant, he names where the location is and he says, first time shame on me, second time shame on them, no third time, not ever. Terrible coffee, poor service, food was marginal,

bathrooms dirty, no one even said hi. Oh, I think it's reversed though. First time shame on them, second time shame on you for returning. Yeah, he was trying. He was trying. He's lonely. I need someone. I mean, if there's a restaurant that even remotely looks like it is not good, I'm not

going to continue. No. I mean, you get one chance restaurant that even remotely looks like it is not good, I'm not going to continue. No, I mean, you get one chance. That's it, right? Um, I need some help with a little tile project. I had a plumber in here and he has caused several issues, including tracking mud in my front door. Oh my God. I'm tracking mud in my front door. Oh my God.

Okay. Names restaurant, names where it's located, names the other two restaurants that are next door to it, as if the address wasn't enough, just so you know exactly where it is. If you decide to go there because of the following, last week I ordered 15 wings. I picked up the bag and it was so light, I was wondering if any actual wings were inside. When I got, why didn't you check there? Yeah, when I got home.

Something seems off. Yes. Go ahead and check. If it doesn't seem like there's actual food in the box, then you should probably open it and check. And not drive off? Yeah. I get home and these wings were no bigger than the end of my index finger. Baby chicken wings?

They're selling baby chicks? Little chick wings? Oh my god! Cockadoodle, fuck you! Sorry to hear that. Then they cook them and they're even smaller than that. So disappointed. We work hard for our money to get food like that. My point is, if you go in there, ask to see what size the wings are so you're not disappointed. Well, because everybody wants to rush down there now.

Oh yeah, we're all heading to this place. We'll report back. There's literally 20 comments on this. Let's see what they have to say. Thank you. Have a safe day. Used to be good went way downhill. The pizza place is better. The one next door that she names. They have been really nice. Good luck.

really nice. Good luck. Trash cans overflowing says one comment. Add that to the list. Yes. Oh, Don says, we actually love smaller wings in my opinion. By the way, the chili Philly cheesesteak is really big. Try that. Try that. I remember the one that I used to go always open them so you could see them for yourself. Oh, they did a presentation for you? I don't get that at the Chili's when I go get takeout. Just a minute. Yes, sir. Please review our wing selection. Double bubble fart burger, sir? Extra chili and blooming onion sauce?

Yep, that looks exactly like the slop I wanted. Are those baby chicken wings? Because I morally object to that. Try ordering more wings next time. 10 is not enough. Don't go there. Worst food ever. Wow.

Who knew? There is such a- So much activity. I love it. I love it. I just love it. You get a different one out here where you are too,. I love it. I love it. I just love it. You get a different one out here where you are too, than I do downtown. Well, maybe in downtown, it's a younger crowd in general.

I know. I just like to hear that shooting. What was that? Was that fireworks or guns? Wow, that was fun. No, I've been downtown and I had Nextdoor and I read the ones. It was a little different. It was a little different.

It was like, anyone know any good ecstasy? Currently sitting at the aisle. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm like, I'm going downtown and I had Nextdoor and I read the ones, it was a little different. It was a little different. It was like, anyone know any good ecstasy?

Currently sitting at the iron, flat iron bar, right? It was a little rougher. I live in a neighborhood, there's lots of young folks that live here, but there also are some retirement homes around. And I imagine that's where a lot of the dismay is coming from, those retirement homes, or people who should be in the retirement home This is crazy. It's like almost every one of these posts could be answered by Google Yeah, just googling it like good plumber, you know And then you can read the reviews and go from there, but these people seem to want to go five steps

Okay, like like I've been told many times you went around your ass to get to your elbow It's so stupid. Oh My gosh, all right. Let's take a break. Maybe we'll come back with more next door because I am enjoying this. All right. We'll be back. I know you're already on your phone. So pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break, and then follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB. Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast.com because that's got it all.

Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break. At Real Canadian Superstore, our colleagues collectively speak over a hundred different languages and counting. We pride ourselves on items from different parts of the world. From hard to find specialties to tastes that'll remind you of childhood. So welcome everyone. Come shop the world right here in our aisles with more ways to save at the Super Welcome Store.

Real Canadian Superstore. Do you wake up in a cold sweat from your work dreams? right here in our aisles with more ways to save at the super welcome store real Canadian Superstore. Do you wake up in a cold sweat from your work dreams? Have a co-worker who keeps inviting you to do escape rooms? Can't get a co-worker to agree to do escape rooms? Or are you just genuinely not sure how to take the next step in your career? I'm Kate and I'm Kin and together we run Amy Poehler's company Paper Kite Productions. We've been friends and colleagues for years, so we know how important it is to feel like someone has your back at work.

And we want to be that for you. So we're hosting a weekly advice show where we answer all your work-related questions. Something amazing happened. I got offered my dream job. How am I supposed to bring this up to him without hurting his feelings? What should I do?

I want to like, stick the pleasantries without being an a**hole. Careful, money and friends, they don't mix, babes. They don't. And don't work with your friends, make your friends at work. All right, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but that was actually million dollar advice.

Whether you need advice or just love to listen to other people's problems, this show is for you. Listen and follow Million Dollar Advice, an Odyssey podcast, available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Oh my God. I just found the best next door post ever. And I am really hoping that Joseph is joking here because it's a really funny joke, but

let's check it out. Joe says, I just so excited. I just found the best new wine decanter, picked it up at Goodwill. It is literally a piss jar from a hospital. That's what you piss in when you can't get out of it. Oh my God. He's pouring wine with it. Okay. There's a lot of laughs. So I think that, I think that's it. Maybe that was an April Fool's. Has anyone ever painted furniture? Are you happy?

Thank you. You mean in life, generally? Or... Yeah, is that... Pain in the face. Am I happy? Is there a specific thing I should be happy about or am I just... Jessica says, hello, we has an athlete in need. They have a place to live, but nothing but an air mattress.

I don't even know what that means. We have given them pots and pans and a king-sized bed frame. Wait, they have a place to live We are in need They're asking they're asking if they can pull it off their kid to another human being We have an athlete in need He's been a great kid, but and he's got some pots of bad frame. Yes. Yes He's been a great kid, but he's got some pots of bed. Right in the frame for the bed. Yes. Looking for a pool company.

Recently had a squirrel in the pool. Got him out. Thanks. Hey, neighbors. Just had a question for the general public. Would y'all be interested in the used chair? I'm thinking about getting rid of it, but I just want to see. Kind of interested.

Hey, neighbors, just wondered if you're interested in my old chair, because I'm not, but if you are, then I'll tell you where to get it. Okay, one or two more, then we'll move on. All right. I had one here. Hold on, let me see. Okay. Looking for recommendation for paving company. Had company resurface my driveway, accidentally drove over it.

Can't get a hold of original company. accidentally drove over it. Can't get ahold of original company. Thanks. Anybody know where I could get a good cell phone? Pretty sure Verizon will sell you one. There's only cell phone commercials every other time it's on. Listen to this, there's literally no link here. Ben is fantastic, good for Ben.

When we asked our neighbor for a good garage door guy, everyone said Ben is the best. He is prompt, fair, and does a great job. He went above and beyond and replaced the motor, upgraded our hardware, now the garage door is so quiet, I can't even hear it from my bed. The kids will be excited about that. Thank you, Ben. No link included.

No last name, no phone number. Ben's doing a great job. Thank you to Ben. Like an old garage man. Ben's doing a great job. Thank you to Ben. Like an old garage man. Oh, Ben, the two of us need look no more. It's all done for us. It's all done for us. Oh my God, that is so much fun.

I will literally do that all day long. That is crazy. Oh, I was reading them last night as I was waiting for an edit that I had to render on video, which takes a fucking effort. But I was reading them. Chrissy, I just could not stop laughing. I mean, it is, it's old people in a can.

Is what, you know, everyone makes fun of that old person who can't text or, you know, they all, everyone has the meme pages about the old people. Literally go to next door, it's alive and well. The meme culture is alive and well, but it's not a meme. They're actually asking. They actually need to know, have you seen my cat? No name, no picture included. Yeah, I think I've seen a cat. I don't know if it's your cat, but if you want to come by and take a look, it's right outside my back door. And then some people put their actual addresses on there. And I'm like, you are being dumb dumb. You remember a couple of months ago when we talked,

speaking of old white people, you remember a couple of months ago, we talked about how people were, there's like a trend, I don't say it's a trend, but maybe people are being more vocal about it, how they do not co-sleep with their partners, their wives, their husbands, their boyfriends, for whatever reason. Like I can understand if Astrid was like a terrible, had a terrible snore or something like that. Hot, cold.

And there was just nothing we could do to fix it. Or you have a twin. Or you have a conjoined twin. Or you have a conjoined twin. You have a conjoined twin. You have a conjoined twin and you just desperately wanna sleep in the next room. Yeah, wouldn't that mentally fuck with you a little bit? Like if you know you could never get away from this person.

I guess when that's all you know. That's all you know, yeah. But how do you decide which side to sleep on? They must sleep on their back. I mean, one person can't just be floating up there in the air, you know what I'm saying? You can't sleep on the side, just have one person just kind of dangling about. Just the visual of that just got me funny. It reminds me of my kids

when they're like crawling all over me. And I just wanted, sometimes I take that time to just close my eyes real quick to take a nap. Sometimes I'll go, hey kids, let's go play in the bedroom. And then I just lay down. I swear to God, I do. I just lay down and it's tackle daddy time. I close my eyes, take a quick power nap and let them just kind of kick me around. It's so much fun. There's a little parenting trick for someone who's got a lot of kids. When you're really tired, you can still take a nap. You close the door, just make sure they're safe, put them on the bed, tell them to crawl all over you, and take a nap. Yeah.

Okay. So, you remember we were talking about this, how some people are now admitting that they don't co-share a bed with co-share. That makes no sense. Co-sleep with a co-share. I think if you're sharing, it's co- by nature. I'm just realizing I sound like one of those next door people. Anybody know where to find a co-sharing for more than one person bed? Yeah, sure. Barbara Corcoran of Shark Tank fame said she has kept her 35 year marriage to Bill Higgins fresh through unconventional methods. I don't wanna get too deep into this. Well, appearing on Thursday's edition.

One of them being a billionaire, or however much money she has. I'm pretty sure they're both billionaires. That's a bad ass bitch right there. She was like the queen of New York real estate agents for a while. Yeah And she says she keeps the relationship hot and fresh by sleeping in separate bedrooms in order to keep things fun I've had a separate bedroom with Bill for like 40 years She said I've had to invite him in and he invites me and occasionally well, listen, okay

Well, listen, okay. While others may find this 19-year-old routine a little strange, the 75-year-old real estate mogul said that her arrangements add a bit of intrigue and sexiness now that they are able to be feared. You may enter my boudoir. Yeah, you may enter my boudoir. Excuse the fresh stank as I just dropped a double deuce in my private.

I'm picturing like a swirl of lace and feathers. Feathers. And then you walk into his and it's like old pictures of Elle MacPherson half naked and Ferrari posters and old Nintendo. Yeah, come on in, bring some Doritos. Yeah, listen, you know, Barbara Corcoran, if there has ever been on television, like the picture of

independent businesswoman, setting a great example, I think, if you're into Shark Tank, she is sharp as a fucking tack, and she takes no shit, she takes no prisoners, and she makes wise deals, as far as I'm concerned, as a fucking tack. And she takes no shit. She takes no prisoners. And she makes wise deals as far as I'm concerned, as they all do. Actually, they're all pretty smart about that in general. Yeah, none of them are hurting for cash. But this screams to me.

I do love that show. I need to get back to watching it, actually. Well, now Mark's leaving, so I don't know. Oh, he's leaving. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's running its course. Yeah. Well, it don't know, you know, maybe it's Ronin's course. Yeah. I'm sure they will. It's been on for years and years and years.

Since like, I think the first season was like the year I got my divorce. So 2006, 2007. Yeah, it's been on for 18 years, 17 years. And I would share that I think most people who enter the Shark Tank at this point are pretty well versed, which is a good thing. People are learning how to be entrepreneurs and how to get in on the action from this show. But I would have to imagine that if you've been on the show a long time, like Mark or Barbara or, you know, any of them. Laurie. Damon. Damon. Who else is on there? Damon John, Robert Hershevek.

Yeah, and then Mr. Wonderful, what's his name? Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary. You know, he's the one that actually has the earpiece in and it's kind of like the- He runs the show. He runs the show, yeah.

Well, it's obvious. He stands out as a natural leader and he's the shit talker and he's kind of like the Simon Cowell. He is, yeah, he is. But I don't know, Kevin O'Leary, something about me, something about him just rubs me the wrong way. I'm not into him. Yeah.

And it's always been that way, and especially not recently. I don't know. I just don't like Kevin O'Leary. Kevin O'Leary seems like a capitalist at all expense kind of guy, which is fine, because that's what capitalism is. There's no feelings. It's just money. It's transactions. That's it. Make as much as you can. Whatever. Okay. That's one way to look at the world. Anyway, when you walk into the shark tank, I think you're already well versed. They're getting a piece of your business.

The second you walk into there. And I have to imagine if any of these people were to actually go to the books and say, did I win? Did I lose? They won because now they are rich by default. They are rich. And then when they got on the show, they're richer by default because of all the sponsorship opportunities, the money that they're making, the few wins that they get here and there. But I would imagine that on a net cash basis, probably most of them have actually lost money. You can't imagine that most of those businesses actually work out to be phenomenal. Yeah, there's some standouts, but I think for, yeah, the majority of them.

Squatty Potty. Squatty Potty is a standout. The old Squatty Potty. And I love my Squatty Potty. Me too. This episode is not sponsored by Squatty Potty. But we did have them as a sponsor. We did, we did.

We're actually the only podcast that they had sponsored for a long time, which was so great. And then I don't know what happened. They just, they said, well, that was fun. Well, it lasted. No Shark Tank. There's no Shark Tank over there at the commercial break. We didn't move the numbers like that. But I did like the people at Squatty Potty. Yeah, we did a number of commercials with

them. I think they were with us for a couple months. Anyway, so Barbara Corcoran sleeping in her own bed does not, like, surprise me so much. But what surprises me is, like, Astrid and I have talked about this, and even though we don't always sleep in the same bed because we have children, and it's a little complicated what's going on in our house right now because of the ages of the children and trying to get some of them to sleep on their own and some of them need the mommy and daddy and we do co-sleep with some of the children. So it is a little complicated. At the end of the day, I think sleeping in the same bed

is kind of one of those like perks of being in a good relationship is that you get to cuddle up. Personally, yeah, I do too, but that's me. But whatever works for whatever, I don't really care. Yeah, no, I don't have a dog in the fight. I don't give a shit. Barbara Corcoran sleeps in her own bedroom. Yeah, but I agree with you. But then there's people that don't even share the house. Remember that one celebrity that was like sharing?

They had their own house. That is strange. That is when a sister wife makes sense. Right. When you're not in the same house. Yeah, you need multiple homes. And you're barely married to that person, like you don't even care what they'd eaten for breakfast. Who was that? Was that? It was somebody who had a lot of money, right? Was it Gwyneth Paltrow?

No. No? Was it Tori Spelling? No, she just got a divorce. I don't know. It was one of those people. You know, the people. And by people, I mean celebrities. It was one of those people. Oh yeah, it was somebody that had enough money to buy two nice homes. Yeah. But then I was speaking with someone a couple of weekends ago, someone we don't know, someone I had met.

I was speaking with someone. You met someone without me? I did meet someone without you. Brian. Well, listen, I'm looking for that sister wife, Chrissy. I'm looking for that sister host. The sister host. We're looking I'm looking for that sister host. The sister host.

We're looking to bring in an extra sister host. Wanted sister host. Thanks. Yeah, put it on next door. I will put it on next door and see what happens. I'm going to start writing my own next door and see how the comments come out. Yeah, I was looking for a sister host and I was talking to somebody and they were sharing that they don't co-sleep either and that they, not married, but they haven't the last three serious relationships that they have had. They have spent the night in the bed together, obviously at the beginning of the relationship when things are hot and heavy, but then he made a decision that they were going to, that

he was going to ask someone to sleep in the guest room instead. I'd be like, what? I'd be out. I'd be out. I know me too. What are you talking about? I'd see you later, you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Yeah. No, no, hell no. I would just be like, I will, I'll check you later. Yeah, exactly. Because that is like where the intimacy is built, I think, in a lot of ways, don't you? Yeah, for sure. Like at the beginning of the relationship and things are hot and heavy when you're making love two to three times a year and you're just like having, you're just having a lot

of fun. That bed is a place where a lot of the intimacy happens. A lot of conversations, a lot of whispers, you know, sweet nothings in your ear and all that other stuff. That's where it happens. So when you, maybe there's a reason why he's three relationships deep. Well, I was gonna say, and not married. And not married, or in a long-term relationship currently, because he's asking everybody to leave the room after we have sex. Do you mind spending the night in my guest room? I got hot ass right now and I'm just gonna be farting all over the place.

I mean, there's a situation too. You know, if there's like some personal like weird, not weird, but medical condition that you have, because I know snoring can tear a relationship apart. I know that for a fact. I have a friend who got a CPAP a long time ago because the wife seriously sat him down and was like, I can't sleep, I'm miserable, I'm waking up stressed out and tired, you're waking up stressed out and tired because you're not getting a whole night's sleep, you're breathing miserably. This has got to stop or we do have to seriously talk about how this relationship looks moving forward. Got that CPAP machine, cleared it right up and everything seems right as rain. Of course, there's nothing quite as sexy as a CPAP machine. But it saves lives. And so that's all that really is. That's all that really matters. My mom has been supposed to be wearing a CPAP machine for like

15 years, doesn't wear it at all. And I'm like, mom, you can't do that. You got to wear your CPAP machine. It looks so weird. Who are you looking for? You're not out on the dating scene. Like you're swiping right on Tinder, mom. No one cares if it looks weird. You're the only one that's looking. That's it. Don't worry about it.

It does really help sleep. Yeah. Does Jeff wear a CPAP machine? No. You don't wear a CPAP machine, do you? No. No? Do either of you snore?

Like on a regular basis? No. No. No, either Astrid and I don't either. But sometimes she, like, and I'm sure I do this too, but sometimes she will snore and I will have to wake her up. Just kind of give her a little push right off the bed. And then when she hits the floor, she does, it's time to wake up. Was that snoring again? Was I snoring again? She's bleeding profusely from her head.

Barbara Corker God. Jared Sussman Yes, you were. Why don't you go bandage that up, go to the emergency room and come back around, ah, 8.30 AM. We'll be ready to go. All the kids will be ready to go. But hey, listen, the best of Barbara Corker and her boat. Barbara Corker Best to you, Barbara.

Jared Sussman You're making a decision that's good for your relationship and that's all at the end of the day that matters. It doesn't matter what the commercial break thinks because, you know. Barbara Corker It never did. and her boat. Beth Dombkowski Best to you, Barbara. Jared S That's probably Maduro writing that himself. That's my guess. Yeah, he's listening to the comp- Well, so many Venezuelans listen to the commercial break that I would bet you somebody out there has heard it. You know, we're, well, I don't want to tell this story yet. We have Joanna, this is a great time to let you know, Joanna Hausman joining the show again this month and we're super excited because Joho is our favorite. She's a lovely woman. She's Venezuelan and we're super excited to have her. And I want to talk to her about traveling to Venezuela. Oh yeah, that's right.

Without pissing off the Venezuelan government. I am a plant for the Venezuelan government, actually. I'm softening up all the ideologies. It comes down to it. Yeah. And, you know, and fuck you. That's how it goes. Hey, let's take a break. We'll be back. What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again. Here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TCBdio. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCBpodcast.

And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB Podcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember. So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back,

that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. It's masters week. Yes, it is. It's masters week for those of you who don't know the very prestigious golf tournament. Yeah. It's Masters Week. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. It's Masters Week for those of you who don't know, the very prestigious golf tournament,

the Masters. Have you been invited to the Masters yet, Christy? Have you gotten your invitation? Not yet. Well, Blarney Stone, I don't know why. I thought all Irish people got an invitation to the Masters. It's the Masters week, and so super excited to get into watching the coverage of the golf tournament. It's the one time a year, basically, when I will dedicate a few hours to a sporting event, because I do like to watch golf,

and I love to watch it on that course, because it's so fucking green. It is beautiful. And CBS has been handling it for a long time, and they handle it in a certain way, and there's very few commercials, and you get to watch all the coverage, and it gets exciting always on a Sunday or a Saturday or whatever it is.

But they got that live golf thing that's going on right now, that L.I.V. golf. What a shit show that is. And it's hard to figure out, I don't want to bore everybody with a bunch of sports talk that they're not you know that it's not the most popular sport in the world so I don't want to bore everybody with the talk but here's how it goes just a little bit I'll give you a little refresher Saudi Arabian government gets together with a former very notable

golf star Greg Norman who also owns wineries and all this other stuff right South African businessman da da da da this guy Greg Norman, who also owns wineries and all this other stuff, right? South African businessman, da da da da da. This guy, Greg Norman, has been trying to start an alternative professional golfing league for a long time. So he teams up with the Saudi Arabian government, who has more money than God, and decides to put together his own league, funded and backed by the Saudi Investment Fund. Again, more money than God, hundreds and hundreds of billions of dollars. And they start offering huge paydays to what I would call paydays to what I would call notable, but maybe not currently, the best golfers in the world.

Some of them are good, Dustin Johnson and a couple of others. And there's a couple of defectors who certainly have been great on the circuit over the last couple of years, but not the meat and potatoes of the PGA, but they're picking them off one at a time. Because they're giving him so much money Because they're giving him so much money. They're giving him so much money. And Saudi Arabia has obviously a human rights record that is not super fantastic, even though we consider them an ally. I mean, you don't have to be a genius to figure out that the Saudi Arabian government, an SBF, not Sandbakeman Freud, but what's his name? Prince Solomon Ben Fiyad or whatever his name is. Okay. He has been a nightmare

for some people living under that regime. And so people are saying, you can't take that money because it's kind of blood money, so to speak, and you can't take it. Well, Phil Mickelson becomes the first to sign an official deal with them for like $300 million and says, fuck you, I need the cash. Right? Or whatever his line of thinking is, he claims is because the P he's been telling the PGA to get their shit together for a long time, blah, blah, blah. A disappointing end generally to an otherwise awesome career. He runs over to legendary. Yeah.

He takes the $300 million and listen, I can't say what I would do if someone would offer me $300 million right now. If someone offered me $300, I'd probably go work for Maduro in the Venezuelan government. But, you know, I can't say that I wouldn't do the same thing. I'm not in his shoes. I don't know why, if, when he might need $300 million. That's incomprehensible to me. But they have now picked off quite a few players from the PGA and now they're playing this live golf. Live golf is available for any of you that want to watch it on the WB. The WB. Do you even know where the WB is on your dial?

Because I sure as shit don't. I know I actually wanted to watch some of it at one point and then I lost interest. I never saw where it was. It's not all that interesting. It's played differently too. There's teams and there's points and you can get points for playing on the team. And then, you know, they can have their own franchises,

so to speak. So some of the, so like Dustin Johnson could put together his own roster of players. He's trying to turn it into a franchise that maybe he can sell down the road, like a basketball team or a baseball team. It's pretty fucking complicated. And so, live Golf and the PGA go at each other. They go just, they lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit, back and forth. It's

gonna blow up in court, everyone thinks, until a couple of months ago when they make the announcement that they're actually gonna team up with Live Golf, start a separate organization that's for profit, because the PGA is non-profit, for profit, and then they is nonprofit, for profit and then they're gonna team up and all these play, oh the other thing is that anybody who went to live golf can no longer play in PGA events or the European version of the PGA, they can't play in those events. Except the Masters.

Except, well that's an invitational, so that's different because you can get an invitation and in a lot of cases if you won or placed highly in last year's competition, then you can come back by automatic invitation. And in a lot of cases, if you won or placed highly in last year's competition, then you can come back by automatic invitation. And so now the Masters is the time when some of these players are going to come back together. And I'm interested to see, really interested to see what happens and if any of these players from Live Golf actually do well. Do you think has scuffles? Yeah, I want to hear. I mean, you know. It's the fucking thing is, it's the Masters and it's so highly protected. I don't think CBS is gonna show any of that shit,

but I'm really interested. I don't even think they're gonna talk about it, but I would be interested to see how they do handle it during this. And I'm not opposed to like a little MMA action right there on the 17th. You know what I'm saying? I agree.

Get Dustin Johnson to wrestle it out with Jordan Speed. Swinging clubs, get heads. Yes, chasing each other down, throwing clubs at each other, like me and my brothers play, kicking each other's balls across the, throwing a ball in the pond, stuff that merely makes golf interesting.

They're those little arguments that you get all on the course. Or when you know somebody else is like, what'd you get there? Ah, par, really? You mean in just when you were inside 10 feet of the hole or was that the entire length of this particular hole? Oh, no, no, no, it's a par, definitely a par.

I play with some other fuckers and I swear to God, I'm like, are you sure? Because I was counting, but I also know, because I've heard it, I've heard people question me too. Are you sure? Did you count all of those? And I'm like, I don't even, I'm having trouble keeping up with myself. How do you keep up with me also? But you do, because you oftentimes pay more attention to the other guy than you do yourself. I'm like, I don't know how many shots I took there, but I know you didn't take four. It was 12. Don't lie. And we play snowman rules.

So anything above eight, you just consider it an eight, right? Because I mean, once you get to 12 or 13. Yeah. So it's snowman rules. So if you get a snowman, okay, you get a snowman and you pick your ball up and you hope you do better on the next hole. Those, that's the kind of competition I want to see. I think we should start our own league.

Chrissy, the TCB PGA or the TCB Golf League of America. And here's the like, here's more interesting shit being thrown in the mix. Now Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy, I think, have started their own like exhibition PGA where they do short courses, little putting greens. They also have like interactive, you know, essentially VR golf, and they're going to play these tournaments live on ESPN and have all this shit going on. Tiger Woods is invested in some business that's kind of like TopGolf, but instead it's all putting and all this other stuff that PGA is in like a really weird

place right now where everyone is trying to get that, that cash. And so they're all bifurcating these different parts of the sport and different players for the sport. And one of the only places that they will come together now are at these invitations. So they make them, in my opinion, more interesting to watch than maybe in other years, because now you're like, well, these guys that I don't ever see play because who the fuck knows where the WB is on your goddamn television. I don't, I have no idea. I didn't even know they were still around. That was still a channel.

Oh yeah. They're playing on the WB. They're playing on YouTube. But so far, the crowds who are watching at home or in person have been underwhelming to say the least. They got like 220,000 people to watch one of their like big tournaments. 220,000 people is nothing to shake a stick at. I take 220,000 people all day long. But it is certainly not something you would expect from a professional sporting event. You would expect, you know, a million people would tune in or something like that. So they're having a really hard time gaining traction as far as revenue is concerned, but

it doesn't fucking matter, right? Because the Saudi Investment Fund has a kibillion dollars and they are happy to throw that cash for as long as they need to until they get some traction. And that's what's a little bit scary if you care about the PGA is like, you know, oh, well they could just bury them in cash. And so when they agreed to merge, the two of them agreed to merge. Everyone was like, well, how the fuck are you going to twist yourself up into that one? Right? Now you just said that no one should go over there. It's a, it's a morality thing. And, you know, the SPF and the whole

nine yards, that guy who runs the PGA was saying, I would never talk to the Saudis about anything. Then what the next day he's like, oh, we're going to merge. And it's like, okay, that you're totally full of shit, but okay, at least we'll have all the best players back in one place. Well, then a month ago, they announced that they have their own line of funding that has nothing to do with the Saudi Arabians. It's all these guys who owe these big sports teams here in the United States. They're all going to put together three or $4 billion and give it to a new venture that the PGA can go on as a for-profit company. It is a crazy time for professional golf. Isn't it nuts? It's a professional golf is in a crazy spot right now. Again, this is what only old white people talk about, but I'm just sharing that I'm excited about the Masters

because I'm excited to see how this is handled in the coverage. What happens? Who's talked about? Is there any additional information? Who's hot, who not? Who hot, who not? SPF, on the block. There you go. That's for you, that one bad review that said, at least I laugh when they say, who hot, who not? PCB, on the block.

Well, it will be interesting. I could talk about this all day long, but before I put everybody to sleep, I figured I'd wrap the show. I'm so into this. I'm so into reading about it and all the drama and all of this. Oh, Chrissy. It's good stuff. We had some good times watching the Masters together.

Oh yeah, we've watched a lot of the coverage. It's a tradition unlike any other it really is. I mean, if you're into it, then you know. If you know, you know. And I think it's the one week a year that probably more people watch golf than any other week. It's like, you can be not a golf fan at all, have no idea what's going on,

care less about who's shooting what, what golf clubs people are using or whatever. And then you can watch the Masters and go, oh, I see why this is exciting. Yeah. Yeah. It is. And it's so green on TV. It's so beautiful. Under the azaleas or the azalea row or whatever there is. And again, it's just be a beautiful weekend. I know. Coming up. I wish I had tickets still. I used to get tickets. I know.

But then I got a divorce and I lost the tickets still. Yeah. I used to get tickets. I know. But then I got a divorce. I've been hearing about it since you lost them. I know. I heard every year. Listen, I love my ex-wife. I really do. She's just such a lovely lady and her whole family. And they had tickets. And therefore, I had tickets.

I lost the tickets and the divorce. Yeah. I asked for them. I asked for them. And they said, well, maybe. We'll see. We'll see how things work out. I'll tell you what, if we're not using Tuesday practice tickets, when no professional golfers are on the course, you just get to walk around and stare at the trees, then maybe, maybe we'll call you. Still waiting. Still waiting. Come on, come through. I'll take those tickets, even though we've long since been divorced. Do a bro a favor. Do a bro a solid. You want to be a sister wife? One week a year. We can do this. I think we can stand each other. Now there's a show. Sister, ex-wife. Yeah, sister, ex-wife. One week a year for the Masters. Brian gets remarried

to both women. Probably remarried to my ex and then divorced from my current, and then back with my current and divorced from my ex. We'll see how it works out. TCBpodcast.com, that's where you go. More information about the show, add the commercial break on Instagram. TCBpodcast on TikTok, and 212-433-3TCB. To be on the show, questions, comments, concerns,

content ideas will take them all okay, Chrissy I guess that's all I can do for today I think but I'll tell you that I love you love you and best to you Best you out there in the podcast universe if you're still hanging around the end of this episode until next time Chrissy And I always say we do say we must say Good bye! I take a dick and keep on lickin'