The Commercial Break - Tales From The Crypt

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

Episode #582: Bryan's bringing out the mama/baby/Blue drama, but he fears his future in the crypt. No more Olympics 🙁 RayGun the breakdancer The Closing Ceremonies Tom Cruise Anchovy mouth 2023/2024 has been tough for us! Bryan’s mom & her long term rehab center QVC addiction Bryan’s elevator troubles Tales from the crypt! Dog karma Barking Blue Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: INSTAGRAM:   https://www.instagram.com/thecommercialbreak/ https://www.instagram.com/bryanwgreen/ https://www.instagram.com/tcbkrissy/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@tcbpodcast Visit our website:  https://tcbpodcast.com/ CREDITS: Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer:  Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. I feel like in my 30s is where I really started to come to terms with who the fuck I actually was and more importantly who's wronged me. That's when I knew I was grown. On this episode of the commercial break. I'm taking multiple trips, multiple trips. We're talking like 40 trips up and down, up and down, trying to get in this elevator. It got to one point when the cart was empty.

I would just lug it down the stairs because I was getting sick of waiting for the elevator that is as slow as some of the people in the facility. I'm like, you don't have to match the speed of the people who live here. You can actually go. The problem is... I remember all of you. I know. Yeah.

It's terrible. It's terrible. And I know I'm not too far off from one of these places too. So I'm kind of depressed because I'm like, Jesus, just put me out of my misery. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh yeah, guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend, co-host of this show, Kristin Joy Hoadley.

Best to you, Kristin. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. Well, it's a little bit of sadness in my heart today. I feel a little bereft because I don't have any Olympics. I know, I know. We're just fresh off the closing ceremony.

What will we do? I know. What will we do? It was always on all the time. You could always flip it on. I learned so much too about so many sports. I didn't know we're a sport much less worthy of the Olympics. Well, let's be honest about it. I think we learned that some sports aren't

sports in the Olympics for a reason and may not make it back to LA. Let's talk about it all let's just get it out of our system and that way we can move on with life and we'll talk about it four years from now on episode number 12,622. Well, first of all, I do have to say that I think, you know, I thought the big dick guy was gonna be the guy of the year. We were all gonna be talking about the big dick guy forever. Until I saw the Australian break dancer known as Breagun. I got completely obsessed.

I mean- That was hilarious. completely obsessed. That was hilarious. Completely obsessed. What in the good fuck was that? If you have not seen Ray Gun, the Australian break dancer, you must immediately put down this episode and go on Instagram or whichever social media of choice and search Ray Gun and you will find tens of thousands of videos. And there's, she got a zero, a zero. I think she got a zero.

She got no points scored because I don't know exactly what she was doing. She was hopping around like a bunny and then flopping around on the floor. Listen, I have to say this right out the get, so that I'm not misunderstood. Making it to the Olympics is one of the hardest things a human being can ever do, regardless of how terrible

your performance is at the Olympics. Getting there is a huge accomplishment, and just being on the stage, the world stage, is something that I can only dream of. My body was not built for the Olympics. It was barely built for, for normal life. Yeah. If I didn't have this mouth, I might not be human. I just might be like sludge. I don't know. I'm surprised I have so many children. I'm surprised my body works below my mouth, quite frankly. If you want to see what it's like to have sex with Brian,

go watch Ray Gun, and that's what it's like to have sex with Brian. I think I'm some smooth love maker and everybody else is like, why is he flopping around like that? What is that? Oh, even my daughter agrees. She's running around outside the door screaming at me. She's like, why did you put me on this earth? No, put me back in the tube. In the womb? The tube. In the tube.

The tube. No, the tube. This ray gun, man, she is a piece of work. And here is the most amazing fact that you will learn. Ray Gun is the Australian breakdancer who got zero points because she quite frankly did, it was almost comical. I think at first I thought this was like a Saturday Night Live skit. I thought somebody was playing a joke on the internet.

I thought someone's trolling. This is really funny. Good job. A plus internet. but it wasn't. I then went to Peacock and watched the performance and it was more disturbing than I could have ever imagined and disturbing in the most hilarious way. Quite frankly, it made me laugh out loud and in that I thought she did something. She did she'll be recognized for something. She brought comedic relief. She did. She flopped around on that floor like, I don't know,

like a chicken, its legs got off or something, I don't know. She did that bunny hop into that, and then she flopped on the floor like, like she was a dead lizard. Yeah, like parts of it seemed real, and then parts of it seemed a joke. Oh, I don't know. I thought the whole thing.

I mean, if you watch the other competitors, then you realize that there was something there she was trying to put together. Yes, yes. Because the break dancing wasn't what I expected. I know. I was so excited about it. And it wasn't what I expected. It was, yeah, me either. I thought we're talking real B-boys on the cardboard, you know, head spins, you know. I used to do that when they, on their back, like the back roll, I can't remember what you call it, but like the back roll,

you used to slide and then roll yourself on your back. I would, that was the one move that I knew how to do as a small child. But the b-boys of the 80s, they were like, fucking badass, man. They would kick it and clock it and crank it and all that other stuff. And I thought we were going to see like real street ass b-boying. And I guess that's what it is now. Yes, it is morphed into flopping on the floor like a golden doodle.

But listen, all credit where credit is deserved. Okay, it was a breakthrough. It brought awareness. She was the highlight for sure. She was the highlight. It brought awareness. She was the highlight for sure. She was the highlight. It brought awareness and she's gotten more attention than the guy with the fucking 60 inch shlong. So in that sense, I think she's accomplished

whatever it is she's accomplished. Here's the most amazing fact about Raegun. Raegun is a professor of breakdance studies at the University of Austria. Wow. She is like a certified expert on this subject. Okay. She's in her 30s.

She is twice the age of most of the other competitors and she looked it. And I mean, I don't, not like in her face, like on the, on the dance floor, she looked it. It looked like she was avoiding breaking a hip is what it looked like. It looked like what, what It looked like what I would imagine my mom to look like if she was to break dance. This was amazing and I am absolutely obsessed. And I hope somewhere the gods are smiling on Ragon and she gets like a reality show or we see her in other competitions. Like all of a sudden ESPN starts picking up the

Australian break dancing competitions so we can see more of Raegun. Raegun, do not go away, girl. You got to stay here and make us smile. That is the best shit I have ever seen. And I applaud you for your efforts, for your time, for your accomplishments. And I applaud you for the goofy ass performance that you did because it brought a smile to the entire fucking internet. It was awesome. It was just awesome. So that's the Olympic gold for me is Ray Gunn. Good job, Ray Gunn. Good job. So Ray Gunn was there, then, you know, lots of controversy around Noah Lyles, who did the, he raced while having COVID and forgot to tell everybody he had COVID. I thought that was, that was a little shitty actually. Like, I mean, okay, listen,

I'm not COVID hysterical right now. Everyone's getting it, everyone's got it. I don't even test for it anymore because, okay, if I got it, what am I gonna do? Am I gonna really like- Well, and then I was sick a little while back and I was for sure that I had COVID, but the tests said negative.

I've tested once for COVID in the last year, probably, and it came back negative. But it's going around and it's gonna be part of our lives. Well, the thing is that it can affect different people different ways. Sure. So yeah, to have it and be- Not tell people.

And then there's other athletes at the top of their performance game. And obviously, if you just watched Noah, then you saw that he barely made it to the finish line. They had to wheel him out in a wheelchair. So he obviously was being affected by this sickness. I love Noah and he's a cocky guy, but he's got the legs to back it up. So when you're cocky and you win, then there's not much to say, right?

When you're cocky and you lose, then you're just a dick. Yeah. Yeah. There's a difference between confidence and cockiness. Yeah. So I got to say, you know, great, Noah's awesome, but I don't know about that move of just not letting anybody know you have COVID-19 until they actually drag you off the fucking track. Until you almost die. Yeah. Until you almost die running the 200 meter or whatever it was. So I do have to say that the last couple days of the Olympics feel a little, there's still great sports on, but it feels a little sad to me.

It's like, oh, it's all wrapping up and here's the other stuff that I didn't watch any of the weightlifting or any of that stuff. I'll get to it. It's on peacock, but then you got to watch those closing ceremonies. Okay. Of course. Opening ceremonies in fucking credibly weird and awesome, closing ceremonies, incredibly weird and not as awesome.

I do have to say, I'm with the group that's saying that was just kind of strange. It was, what was that all about? Well, I was listening to what they were saying too, as they were doing, like there was some kind of reference of the wheeling out of the recovering of the Olympic rings that then were put together. Okay.

Okay. Why do they need to be recovered? I guess like from ancient times because they were lost from back when they were very first started to then when they were revived, like back in 1913 or something like that. So it was like a revival of that. So I got the general concept, but then there was the person playing the piano upside down. Yeah, that was a little strange. I was like, so I got the general concept, but then there was the person playing the piano upside down. Yeah, that was a little strange.

I was like, what's that purpose? And then there was this spark, he was supposed to be the spark of the flame, and he just looked like one of the apocalyptic men riding, like the horsemen, like the seven horsemen, you know what I'm saying? So while I do not buy into any of the bullshit about the opening ceremonies, I think the French are just the French and they're very artistic and their version of art is not simpatico

with your small-minded version of the world. I had a friend who was like, I will never ever go to France. No way, as they pissed all over our whatever. And I was like, what is your fucking problem? What did they piss on? They pissed on her interpretation of how the world should be, and that is Christian only, you know, whatever. Anyway, I don't want to get into all that because I don't want

to offend anybody. I believe that Christianity is just as great as all the other religions out there. I didn't even know this was an issue. Oh, it was a huge controversy that the Christian right wing attached onto because it was satanic, it was hyper-sexualized, it was all about gay people, and then they had a, they interpreted the last part of it where the guy who was carrying the candle was dancing on top of the table. They interpreted that as the last supper. Oh, I did hear about that.

Come on. Give me a fucking break. Come on. Give me a break. Did you see any of the other, it was just a fever dream. That's all it was. It was one big fever dream

that they never practiced a rehearsal not once. And they were just trying to get it right while it was raining. And then someone else said, that's God raining upon their parade. And I'm like, it was a 10 times cooler because it rained. You don't get it. You're not in on it.

You're not in on the joke. And not that I am either. I don't understand the French either, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I thought it was awesome. I wish it was 10 hours long. I loved it. However, the closing ceremonies,

they lost their steam a little bit and then it just got strange. Well, yeah. Then we had old TC. Old TC. Old Tom. I texted Chrissy, I said, where's Tom? She goes, which Tom?

I'm like, which Tom? And I sent her a picture of Tom Arnold. Then I was even confused on that. But yes, yeah. Yeah, I had heard that he, because he was there at the Olympics doing different things. Yeah, it was the worst kept secret. It was, so I had heard rumblings about he was there at the Olympics doing different things. Yeah, it was the worst kept secret. It was.

So I had heard, you know, rumblings about he was going to do some stunt. Yeah. And then when it happened, it was funny. I was laughing. For those of you that didn't see. He flew through the motorcycle too after that. For those of you that didn't see it, the whole shtick was at the very end, Tom Cruise comes rappelling down from the middle of this huge stadium, like the roof of this stadium in the middle. However, the

entire closing ceremonies, they had had people rappelling up and down. So, it lost its luster a little bit because everybody else was doing it. And the flame guy came down from the ceiling. Yeah, the flame guy came down from the ceiling, so the flame guy can do it all dressed as the apocalyptic, the seven horsemen of death or whatever, then so could Tom Cruise. Maybe he's the third horseman of death, I'm not sure. But he came down, you know, repelling down the way that Tom Cruise does.

Said hello to everybody. Yeah, Mission Impossible style. Yes, then spent two hours saying hello to every single person in the entire stadium before riding a motorcycle to Los Angeles. To the streets, yeah. Which was weird. And then they had Red Hot Chili Peppers and Snoop Dogg and these other people playing in California,

a proverbial or a, you know, yeah, proverbial passing of the flame. Only as a lot of people pointed out online, that wasn't the beaches of Venice Beach, it was Long Beach, which is like 30 miles. Yeah, I thought the same thing too. I was like, I guess maybe they're gonna have events there. Yeah, I've been to Venice Beach and that didn't look like Venice Beach to it was Long Beach, which is like 30 miles. Yeah, I thought the same thing too. I was like, I guess maybe they're gonna have events there. Yeah, I've been to Venice Beach

and that didn't look like Venice Beach to me either. But I don't know, I don't know every inch of LA. I'm pretending to know something I don't. But I do have to say that, you know, LA, you've got some big shoes to film. You really do. I have watched, I don't know how many Olympics now, a number of Olympics, and I've been a part of one, not a part of one, but I was in the city where one was and I worked

down there almost every day. And- Oh, that's right. Yeah. Back to Atlanta. I didn't realize that. I forgot, I guess, that there's been no summer Olympics in between here in Atlanta and that will be in LA. Yeah, that's right. Well, they, you know, that's how they do it. They have to get bribes from everywhere around the world. They can't just bribe one country. They got to bribe them all. Now we can get back to talking about how shitty

the IOC committee really is. But at the end of the day, LA's got some big shoes to fill. I really got excited about Paris. I think everybody got excited about, I mean, most people got excited about Paris and it really did live up to the hype. There were so many great- It was entertaining. Athletic moments, so many great entertainment moments. Who knew Flavor Flav was a water polo fan? Who knew that Flavor Flav bought Red Lobster? Did you know that?

Did you know that? Wait a minute. Did he really? All of a sudden I was like, that's how he got the money for the water polo. Yeah, boy. With the Red Lobster commercials because they were on a lot. Yeah. Well, I actually think he did. Buy Red Lobster? Inject some money into the Red Lobster situation. I don't know. First of all, of all the restaurants to save flavor, Red Lobster, I mean, come on.

I know. But okay. All right. there's a lot of people who like red lobster. I have one like less than two miles from my house and there isn't a Friday or Saturday night where that parking lot is not packed. But I guess that's what you get when you sell endless crab legs for $1.99, right?

But okay, so flavor flavor, Snoop Dogg, Martha Stewart, so many other celebrities, but I think that the games did not get outshined by celebrity. It didn't turn into like the celebrity games. There was a lot of celebrity sightings and they would show people in the crowd and Snoop Dogg did his thing. I think he was really good at it.

I did too, yeah. But I do- Well, the women's gymnastics stuff, there was so much on the line there. So, and that delivered. That made everybody delivered on that team. Absolutely. And then I saw like Vin Diesel

in multiple different weird sports out in the crowd. And I'm like, Vin Diesel, dressed as his character in those movies. Oh really? Yeah, and I was like, Vin. In the Fast and the Furious? Yeah, I don't think anybody cares. I think maybe he just dresses like that.

Well, okay, all right. He's in a white theater. Good for Vin. Well, there is a new one coming out, I think. Well, good, I think he needs a new one. Yeah, they're not in that. Try and buy a new shirt, yeah. I don't have anything against him,

but I've heard he's a dick, that's what they say. So I do have to say that I don't think the celebrities got out, I don't think the celebrities outshined the athletes, I think the athletes were the true stars of this particular Olympics, and I loved it. And I'm not being paid by NBC to say this, regardless of what it may sound like. I'm really not.

I just, I thought it was a great Olympics. Maybe we could apply to be correspondents like Snoop was from LA. Because we have the reach. Who ha, who nah. Who ha, who nah. Snoop Dogg on the block. I think that maybe in four years,

we'll have doubled our audience size to 38 and it's possible that they may be interested. And having us- That's what I'm thinking, I'm being positive. Well, if we get the assignment, it's probably gonna be with break dancing. No, they're not having break dancing. Well, I can understand why actually.

Now, I don't take anything away from whoever won the gold or whatever, but it was a little hard to follow how they were scoring. Yeah, I didn't really know. And they were like, at one point, like one was, it was like a breakdancing battle and one was stalking the other one around the stage and it was a little hard to understand.

And the MCs. Some had the MCs on the stage, some didn't. I didn't understand why that was some and not the others, but. That's where they needed Snoop Dogg to give us a breakdown of how it was all going down. And I do have to say congratulations to Snoop Dogg for being the only human in Olympic history to make it to every single fucking event. Yes. He was at the horse event.

You know how the horses when they dance, like they kick up their heels and... He was at the horse event. You know how the horses, when they dance, like they kick up their heels and... He was at that, and then all of a sudden he was over at the swimming, and then he was everywhere. How did they do it? Helicopter. That's my guess. Oh yeah. But they won't show us that part of it, so I don't know. But anyway, that's the Olympics. We're now done talking about it. We will not refer to the Olympics again unless Ray Gun or Big Dick... A pole vault guy. You'll have to come to our live shows to hear us opine about Big Dick pole vault or gun.

We might pole vault at our live show. I might pole vault out of there, is what I might do five minutes into the show, realizing that this was a mistake altogether. What were we thinking? And I promise my dick will not impede me from getting where I'm going. It'll help. Like, you know, they say flat surfaces help with aerodynamics. I'm good to go. All right, let's take a break.

We'll be back. Okay. We're not a real podcast if we're not plugging our Instagram, right? That's right, honey. So follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. And don't you forget, TikTok at TCB Podcasts. So you can see Brian and Chrissy on your homepage every day,

which I know you're just simply desperate for. And if you want to see us in person, guess what you finally can, because we're coming to Florida because only Florida would let TCB come there. Just kidding, kind of. You can come see us at Daniel Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th,

and at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. Yeah, I know you wanna come to both days. That's right. Anyway, the links to both of those are in our show notes. So go get them, get your tickets, and then tell us that you're coming by texting us at 212-433-3822. And if there's anything else you need from us, I am sure you can find it on our website,

tcvpodcast.com. Live, laugh, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants his last parachute? I do. Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio, exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Please play responsibly. No matter what you're going through, you are never alone. Join me on my podcast From the Heart with Rachel Braitham every Friday. Each episode is like sitting down with your best

friend for a cup of coffee. From self-care tips to inspiration for healing, this podcast offers the chance to return to nature, return to community, and return to who you are at your core. Straight from my heart to yours. Listen to and follow From the Heart with Rachel Braitham on the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is brought to you by LEGO Fortnight. LEGO Fortnight is the ultimate survival crafting game found within Fortnite. It's not just Fortnite Battle Royale with minifigures.

It's an entirely new experience that combines the best of LEGO Play and Fortnite, created to give players of all ages, including kids and families, a safe digital space to play in. Download Fortnite on consoles, PC, cloud services, or Android and play LEGO Fortnite for free, rated ESRB E10+. I was talking to my friend Raphael, who's I got, that's how Raphael and I met. We met at this Italian Tertoria. I say Tertoria, it was still like a shitty Italian restaurant.

It actually wasn't shitty. Lots of people loved it. You just knew the inner workings of it. I knew that your croutons were the person who was sitting next to you's bread. That's what I knew. Okay. And I was like, ah! And I knew the anchovies came in a can and they have been sitting in that can for many years. That's

what I knew. But I guess maybe that's anchovies can do that. Yeah, they can do that. Never liked anchovies. No. Never liked them. I, but I and my father-in-law, he will eat them, like, just take them out of the can and eat them. And I'm like, what in the, and I know they're good for your heart or some shit like that. I'm like, what in the fuck are you doing? They good for your heart or some shit like that. Like, what in the fuck are you doing? They're good for you. They are, but yeah, it's kind of hard if you didn't grow up with that.

Yeah. Now I don't get too close to my father-in-law's mouth usually, but I can only imagine that breath. Hi, Brian. Hi, Brian and Dee. Put that mouth away. Geez, got an anchovy ass over there. What's going on? Stop it. over your ass over there. What's going on? Stop it. So I wanted to tell you that we finally, and this may prompt a Victoria Green appearance,

we finally got my mom out of that long-term rehab facility. I know, congratulations. That was a tough, we've had some tough stuff that's happened this past year. Yeah, it's not been a great health year. I was talking to a guy I used to do business with in real estate, and he was like, God, you guys, like, I hope you have insurance for all this stuff. Like every because it feels like 2023 slash 24 was just a terrible health year

for a lot of us and a lot of those around us. And I mean, like terrible in ways we can't even imagine. And I hope we don't repeat that at the end of 2024, 25 in any kind of way. But my mom, she fell at like, I'll tell the story because I don't think I've ever told it, she fell at like a doctor's office. The doctor's office was doing construction. They had put some like really strong cardboard, taped it down to the floor so that they didn't get, I imagine mud and drywall, whatever shit all over the entrance. But they had also cracked the threshold of the actual sliding glass door. So the door would open, but the threshold

was up a little bit. My mom walks on a walker. So she tripped and unbelievably broke her leg in seven different places and they had to put a bunch of metal in it. Well, it took her forever, for fucking ever to recover from this place. Oh yeah, months and months. Because my mom has this terrible addiction and it's called Q fucking VC. QVC. Take it off your parents television. Take, I don't know what it is, Fox Business, QVC and the home shopping network, take them all off there because it's just a terrible, it's so, it's highway robbery is

what I know my mom and my grandmother did it years ago when they first those networks first came out yes so I know that but yeah your mom's still in it my mom is she's addicted to yeah she cannot stop we have had this conversation with her 30 fucking times over the last 10 years and she cannot stop she keeps promising us she's gonna stop she even went so far as to have to call the cable company to take it off of her cable. And they said, sure, you can just password protect it. Well, she put a password on there, one, two, three, four.

And then for two days she didn't watch it. And then she- You can password protect certain channels? Yeah, like parental controls. But they told her- But she knew the password. Yes, she made up the password. And I was like, she's like, I called them

and he took it right off my TV. And I go, oh, that's great. I come into her house, to her apartment, two days later, and she's watching QVC. I like pop in unexpectedly, hey mom. Well, I think like people really get to know the hosts. And then they kind of think that they're friends. You know what I'm saying?

Yes. I think there's something like that too. It's like, and today we have on Lane Bryant with her big girl wearer, like, you know, oh my gosh, look at the patterns. They're so pretty. Everybody's going to be wearing this this summer. It's a fabulous, look at these scarves, these August scarves. You don't wear a scarf in August, mom. What are you doing? I swear to God, they have like an August snowshoe sale and my mom's buying 12 pairs, because here's what my mom does.

Hi, QVC. Hi, it's Vicki Green. Oh, hi, Vic, how are you? I'm great, you know Bob from Oregon? Oh, how's Bob doing? Oh, he's great. I think I want to get 12 pairs of those snow boots. I don't know what size he wears.

So just send me one through 13. I'll return the rest. Do you want to get 12 pairs of those snow boots. I don't know what size he wears. So just send me one through 13. I'll return the rest. Do you want to do a payment plan? Of course I do. It makes it so easy and convenient. Okay, it's only $1.99 for the next 312 months. Sign me up. I'm good to go.

And then they're like deducting $700 a month from her account. Right, because it's all added up. Yes, and I'm like, mom, what's this $700? What did you buy from QVC for $700 a month from her account. Right, because it's all added up. Yes, and I'm like, Mom, what's this $700? What did you buy from QVC for $700? Nothing. Mom, what did you buy from QVC for $700? Nothing, I swear I didn't buy anything for $700.

Honey, I don't even know how to spend, they don't even sell anything for $700. I call QVC, oh yes, that's your mother. That's Victoria, we love her around here. She has 216 items on our empowerment plan. Oh, what's the interest on that? Well, it's no interest for the first 20 years and 70% interest for the second 20 years. Oh, it's a great plan. But she can pay it off early. Oh, can she? For an extra 17%. Oh, thanks thanks that's great. Oh no credit check required for your shitty snow boots? Thanks lady. I mean my mom is like fully engulfed. They know her there.

Oh I can imagine. She's like oh yeah I've got her file up here. Oh she's awesome. She's talked on air three times. And I'm like stop mom stop with the shit please can you stop. Does she give a lot of it away to like as presents? Or no? awesome. She's talked on air three times. And I'm like, stop, mom, stop with the shit. Please, can you stop? Do you give a lot of it away to like as presents? Chrissy. Or no, she keeps it? Chrissy.

What? My mom's in this rehab place for like a month, right? And then the rehab place calls me because of course my mom has them call me for everything because my mom doesn't, you know, my mom wants me to deal with. Right. my mom has them call me for everything because my mom doesn't, you know, my mom wants me to deal with it. So, and a lot of people with parents who are at this stage of life will, this will resonate with you, right? It's just too much for them to handle or they think you can handle it better or they don't want to be bothered with real life issues. They're watching QVC. And so, the lady calls me from the place and she says, you know, hey, Brian, it's, you know, whoever under the place

and, you know, well, it's been a month and we're not making the kind of progress we thought we were going to make. So she can either pay her bill or we got to let her go. And I'm like, she's involved in a lawsuit now and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, listen, the lawsuit and it should take another couple of months. Can we work something out? They did to their credit. They did. Yeah. They usually work with you. Okay. So month one, this place is an hour away from my house, by the way. Month one. That's right. That's when you guys were trying all the burgers. That's right. They have a great burger place on the way. So no problem. I came in the studio when you were just, we wanted to talk about the best burgers in Atlanta. I'm dying about these

burgers. Anyway, so we drive an hour up there, first month, hey, can you bring me this? And then we figure out that we can get Amazon delivered there. So we're delivering snacks and stuff. She's complaining about the food. And then she figures out that there's two snack machines down at the end of the hallway. So she's been giving the ladies, the nurses, who are there 24 hours a day, who's now her best friend because she's now giving them the card and saying, give me a Snickers bar and get one for yourself too. So there's like $403 charges on her credit card, right? And I'm like, mom, you can't be doing this. What are you doing? Honey,

you eat the food here. And I'm going, listen, I went to fucking jail. I know what the food is like. You'll be okay. We can all stand to lose a few pounds. It'll be all right. They all complain about the food over at Puppeteer. Of course they do. They complain about the food. So you get them something different. Of course. We were delivering stand to lose a few pounds. It'll be all right. They all complain about the food over at Papa Joe. They complain about the food. So you get them something different. We were delivering Chick-fil-A at Papa Joe. Oh my God. Damn.

Thank God my mom hasn't figured that one out yet. So we're delivering this stuff. So then, you know, a week or two sometimes would go by before we would go up and see her because it took so long to get there. And, you know, we'd only go on weekends and okay. You've got 30 kids. Yes. So I arranged for her to stay there, like on a semi-permanent basis for at least three months.

So, we go there month number two, it's probably been two weeks since we've been there. We go there, she's got literally 17 pairs of new shoes and 300 new outfits. And I'm like, mom, what is going on in here? Oh, honey, you wouldn't believe it. I had these one shoes and then I had another shoe and I didn't know what to do. And I go, you aren't even walking. You're on a bed. You have a cast on your leg. What are you doing? Well, what am I going to do when the cast comes up? I don't know, mom. We'll go get you shoes. There's 3,000 at your apartment.

What are we doing? So this whole thing. And then I call my mom like a week later. She says, don't worry, honey. I'm going to return all of the ones that I don't use. And I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, right. Okay.

Got it. 10-4. You're not going to do any of that. No, no, because she's not going to go through the trouble of boxing it all up and sending it back. Exactly. You think my mom's going to do that? You got another thing coming. Astrid and I one time moved her from one place to the other, and there were 16 different versions of the same shirt in there in different sizes. And she was like, I didn't know what size I wore,

so I ordered a bunch and I'm going to send it back. And it's still the tag on it. It was like from 2007. And I'm like, mom, what are you going to send it back? It's 10 years later. What are you going to do? So my mom says, I'm going to send, don't worry, honey, I'm going to send them all back. Okay, mom, I got you 10-4. Cause I don't believe a word of it, but it's okay. You know, whatever. We all have our things. I'm not trying to bust on my mom. We all have our things and I got my bullshit too. So that's just not QVC.VC. So I call her like a week later and she's on the phone and this is this is my mom. My mom thinks she hits the mute button but she doesn't hit the mute button. Hey mom, what's going on?

Oh nothing, I'm here. I was just getting this lady to pack up the boxes with all the stuff for QVC. Oh, okay, great. As a matter of fact, here she comes. Hold on one second, honey. She thinks she hits the mute button, and she's like this. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and take that. Go give that to your granddaughter,

and give that to June down the, you know June, you know June from Ohio, she's like two doors down. Go ahead and give that to her. Oh honey, can you do me a favor? Can you go get me six Snickers bars from the thing? I don't have my card on me right now, but... So what she's doing is she's trading clothes for Snickers bars. And I'm like, this is a fawn.

Fucking Sing Sing over there. She's trading clothing for food. What are you doing, Mom? Stop it. Oh yeah. It's a terrible situation. So now we got gotta pack my mom up and we gotta take her back to the place where she lived before because six months is enough.

Like the people over there are like, okay, this is not like a living facility. This is a nursing facility. So if you're not dying, you gotta get going, right? So my mom's, okay, so we arranged to have her go back to this other place and she's still not walking all that great, so we're gonna have these assistants come in and help her shower and take care of her. Yeah.

And now she's much closer to us, so we can just 15 minutes down the road, we can be there in a couple of minutes. So, we can be there in 15 minutes, because that's how long I said it took to take, right? To put it on traffic. Yeah, I have way to go. So, Asher and I spend three days, all her stuff is in this storage facility behind my house. So, we spend three days cleaning everything, putting it da da da da da, and we go over

to this, what is referred to as a senior living facility, like an apartment complex, an apartment building where people are in various stages of independent living, right? So, they have their own kitchen, and they maybe have a bedroom and a bathroom, and they generally live independently with help from medical assistants if they pay for it privately. It's not included in what they do, it's not a nursing care facility. So, Chrissy, they have two separate elevators in this place, and my mom's going to be on the second floor, which sounds great for a lady who does not walk and is in a wheelchair. But okay, at least they have elevators. One of the elevators is broken, the main elevators, this place and my mom's gonna be on the second floor, which sounds great for a lady who does not walk and is in a Wheelchair, but okay

They have at least they have elevators one of the elevators is broken the main elevator is broken So they have one that's closer to my mom's apartment on the second floor and it's three stories So we have to lug all this stuff from the car We have to park in the back of the building go through a side entrance come in through this next entrance go through the eating Hall go, you know, it's a whole fucking thing. And I'm taking multiple trips, multiple trips. We're talking like 40 trips, up and down, up and down, trying to get in this elevator.

It got to one point when the cart was empty, I would just lug it down the stairs because I was getting sick of waiting for the elevator that is as slow as some of the people in the facility. I'm like, you don't have to match the speed of the people who live here. I'm like, you don't have to match the speed of the people who live here. You can actually go. The problem is, it's terrible. It's terrible.

And I know I'm not too far off in one of these places too. So, I'm kind of depressed because I'm like, Jesus, just put me out of my misery. But at lunches at 12, but at 11, everybody has to start moving towards lunch. They all have to be sitting there waiting for their food, right? Because there's, let's just be honest about it, there's a couple times a day when shit's happening and you have plenty of time, yeah, you have plenty of time to wait. If you get there first, you're going to be waiting on first, you get your cup of coffee, maybe they give you a, maybe you'll be lucky and there's some bread ready and they throw you some rolls or some shit like that, right? And it's all kind of sad, but a little bit funny. Yeah, you got to get your spot. You want to make sure you sit at your table, you know,

God forbid somebody sit at your seats, you know. So, it's like a little dance that they're doing. And I noticed this over the course of four, I mean, I've known her for a while because she's lived there for a long time, but you know, okay. So, but at 11 a.m., now everybody in the fucking building is trying to get down to the first floor. So I don't know how many times I sat on that second floor and there were people standing behind me or with me and they all had something to say. Oh, are you the Amazon guy? No, I'm not. I'm here moving my mom in. Oh great, a new resident. What's her name?

I go, she's actually not new. She's been here before. Her name is Vicki Green. And you know how fucking opinionated people are at that age? Oh, they don't hold back. I understand why this country is such a mess. It's people over the age of 70. That's why. Because this one, I would get

one of three reactions when I would say, oh, it's Vicki Green. They go, oh, don't know her, but, you know, welcome her back. Or you'd get the very nice, oh, that's great. Love Vicki. Great to see she's doing well. We'll be happy to have her back. Or you'd get the, oh, Vicky. I remember her. You know, it'd be like, I'd be like, oh, what am I... Because my mom's not one to keep her mouth closed. So she doesn't like it. She's probably going to let you know. Oh yeah. So here I go. Okay. So I go and I grab it and I know I'm going to have to do this dance and wait for the elevator to go up and down and up and down and up and down. And I'm standing

at the first floor and I know to stand to the side because there's going to be a million fucking people coming out of there in their walkers and wheelch down and I'm standing at the first floor and I know to stand to the side because there's going to be a million fucking people coming out of there in their walkers and wheelchairs and all this other stuff. And then I go up to the second floor and the door opens remarkably slow. They do. It's only a quarter of the way open and I'm like, oh my God, I'm going to fucking, my head's going to explode. And there is a like, oh my God, I'm gonna fucking, my head's gonna explode.

And there is a guy, an older gentleman, a much older gentleman, but he, let's say he's in his mid seventies and he's in a full on electric wheelchair, all right? Customized full on electric wheelchair. And he is right there at the door. And I have a huge, I don't know what to call it, like a wagon that you would, you know, lug stuff for the kids, like a beach wagon. Yeah. And it's filled to the top. And this guy got, I stacked as much stuff because I'm like, I got to take as few trips

as possible, please. And he's standing there and I'm standing there and I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. Waiting to get into the elevator? He's waiting to get into the elevator. And I've got a full cart waiting to get out of the elevator. Oh, get out of there. The elevator is the size of the cart. And so now it's a Mexican standoff.

And I'm like, hey, I'm really, I go, oh man, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And he goes, you can go. And I'm like, I don't want to hit your feet already. You won't. And I go, Chrissy, there's no room. There's no room. There's an inch. Maybe.

And I'm like, I'm like, yes. He didn't back off. Yes. No, He didn't back off. No, he didn't. And so I'm like, I'm pretty sure this is not going to fit. And I really don't want to, I really don't want to bother you. Topple you over. And he goes, how would you know if you didn't even try?

And I go, oh, okay. So I try and get my leg around him and I can't. And I'm like, yeah, I don't think it's gonna fit. And he goes, you didn't really try. And I go, can you just back it up a little bit? And he goes, why do I have to be inconvenienced? And I'm like, well, I'm sorry, what do you want me to do? And he's like, you should have left the stuff down there.

And I'm like, what? And he goes, there's two elevators and I go one of them's broken so not my fault and I was like oh my god I'm in an argument with an old man at a retirement facility over who's gonna get out or into the elevator and I go well I even if I move over I'm not sure you're going to fit in the elevator we didn't even drive okay Okay, all right, okay. Well, that's, first of all, elevator rules are you back away to let the people out of it so you can get into it.

So that is the rule. I teach my children this all the time. You gotta move out of the way so they can get out and you can get in. Nothing irritates me more than being at a subway or an elevator or whatever. Yeah, I know. And there are people literally standing there

or trying to get in the elevator as you're getting out. It's like, what the fuck is wrong with your brain? Oh my God. So finally, like an angel from the hallway appears. This other man appears, who I had seen earlier and had a very nice exchange with. She was one of the guys that was like, oh, Vicky, pop up. He's a friendly.

Yeah. And he goes, what's going on here? And I go, oh, nothing. I'm just trying to get out of the elevator, but I think we're having a little disagreement about how to do that. And he goes, Jack, let the guy through. And he goes, I was here first. And I go, what?

First? I go like this. I go, what? And so he finally, he like backs up and he goes, fine, but more courtesy next time. And I go, more courtesy next time. I hope there's never a next time. But okay. Jared Sussman I'm just going to stay in the elevator next time and have you ride down with me. Jared Sussman Oh my God. And then the next time I come in, he's sitting at the table, like closest to the hall, you know, the open hallway. And I can hear him. There he is.

There he is. Like I'm a suspect in a- He had sold other people about you. Yeah, I'm a suspect in a bank robbery now. What the fuck? There he is. God bless America. It's all going to hell in a hand basket, guys. All right.

Let's take a break. We'll be back with more Tales from the Crypt after this. I don't know, the Tales from the Crypt. I don't know what the Tales from the Crypt is. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. All right, let's take a break. We'll be back with more Tales from the Crypt after this. I don't want to do. After this. Oh, God. Hello, my fans.

I mean, Brian and Chrissy's fans. Boy, have I got news for you. We are officially coming to Florida for TCB Live. That's right. You can come see Brian's bald head shining under the stage lights at Daniel Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th, and at the Funny Bone in Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th.

If you can't make it to see us in person, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB and leave us a little love note instead. As always, please, please, please follow us on Instagram And leave us a little love note instead. As always, please, please, please follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. Our content is shockingly good. So get after it.

And you already know I put every single one of those links in the show notes. You're welcome. Shop Best Buy's ultimate smartphone sale today. Get a Best Buy gift card of up to $200 on select phone activations with major carriers. Visit your nearest Best Buy store today. Terms and conditions apply. Oh my God, so much fun. Blue's going crazy out there. What's going on? He said you gave her some CBD stuff. Oh my God, so much fun. Blue's going crazy out there, what's going on? You said you gave her some CBD. Oh my god.

Dog CBD. I gave. Which is supposed to be good. What is going on with her? Is there like, maybe, is there somebody out front? Let me check here. Maybe it's the person that's returning your phone call to the ring doorbell.

It's the ring doorbell. Just returning my ring on the ring. Oh, this guy. Anyway, so yeah, blue, blue, we love blue. There's no doubt that that dog is like inexorably tied to the green family. And in some ways it might just be like, a traumatic payback for the last dog I had that I had to put down. And it was not, it was a terrible, terrible situation. But it was a dog who was aggressive, not to me, but was aggressive to other people and he was a resource garter. So if he got food and you were within 15 feet and he's a bull, so he's a bully. So if you got within 15 feet of him, I don't mean a bully, a bull, like a person who pushes people

around. I mean like a bully dog. He was some kind of bulldog, right? Like a terrier or something. He was a mix and he was about to be put down and I rescued him and I, for two months I had him and he bit multiple people and it was not a good situation and some of those people bled like it was not a good situation. And I think in some ways Blue might be like Nacho, which is the name Nacho Potato. I think Nacho Potato and Blue might be like Nacho, which is the name Nacho Potato. I think Nacho Potato and Blue might have mixed in the universe and come down to like haunt me for the rest of my days.

But I love the dog. I just love her. The dog is super, can be so sweet. Can. And loving and sweet, can. Can. When she is, she's so nice. And that's a lot of the time, honestly.

But then there's a lot of the time that's this. Yeah. Right? There's 90% of the day when she's like this, and then there's 10% of the day when she's sleeping. But she goes absolutely bonkers, like she is right now. And so this is a real problem, like it's a real problem. It raises blood pressures, it irritates everybody,

it's hard to have people over and her behavior... It's hard for any of the babies to sleep. That's right. You can't get a nap in here because she will bark at whatever we don't know. And it's probably anxiety related. So, we went to the doctor. And by the way, we have hired multiple dog therapists, psychiatrists, psychics. I mean, we hired a bunch of people. This dog is so irritating that one of the world renowned dog trainers decided to drag her by the leash in the air.

Like just lift her up off the air, in the air, and just start swinging her around. He couldn't take it. And by the way, that was the last moment of me paying him anything. But because I was like, the fuck are you, I don't even do that to my dog. I live with it. And so if you can't deal with it, you're a world renowned dog trainer.

My ass. I wish I could remember the guy's name. I'd say it out loud to avoid this guy. Anyway. Um, so we tried everything under the sun and I understand that getting the vocal cords cut is like total torture. So we're not going to do that and it's not going to solve the problems. Then she's going to have a more annoying bark. Oh my God. So years ago, we put her on

anti-anxiety medication in the hopes that it would help. And at first it might have maybe like a 10% difference, but now she's like physically addicted to the medication, so we can't just take her off of it. We've got to wean her off of it. So my vet's wise idea is, let's put her on CBD oil, works for a lot of dogs. Chrissy heard this months and months and months ago. Where'd you go, Colorado? No, well, I ordered it from Hawaii. It's Bill Kreutzman from The Grateful Dead. Oh yeah, that's Dead. They have a hemp and CBD company. And they make, Jeff and I started using their salve stuff for like muscle, you know, muscle aches or whatever. And they had this package and I ordered the package inside came the

CBD for dogs. I gladly passed it. I thought this, I came running in here. I know, you were like, look at this! This is a miracle! This is gonna solve it all! Mother Teresa herself brought in the dog salvo with CBD. So, Astor and I had tried this before, and it made the dog crazier, like more anxious, more wired, more crazed. And so, we really felt that, okay, maybe we don't want to do that again, because we used that for like a week, and honestly, it was one of the toughest weeks we had with Blue for the barking. So, but the vet suggests this a couple weeks back, and I think to myself, okay, I'll go

get it from the vet. Well, I call up there and the vet's like, yeah, it's like $189. And I'm like, $189 fucking dollars. What are you crazy? I'm not going to pay a hundred and I'm already paying for 12 different kinds of medication. And every time the dog goes in there, I'm not going to pay $189 for fucking CBD oil. So I'm looking through this box of old dog medications that we have, hoping there's something in there for me.

And I see Chrissy's CBD. Sometimes they give you the good stuff. that we have, hoping there's something in there for me. And I see Chrissy's CBD, you know, sometimes they give you the good stuff. So I find this CBD oil that Chrissy gave us and I thought, oh, here we go. Let me try this. So I've given it to her now three days in a row and this is the result. She is literally barking at nothing. Yeah. And even she was very hyper when I came in today, like doing stuff I normally don't see her do, running up and down the hall, running up and down the hall. She is insane today.

So I think the CBD oil might be affecting her. Plus she's a very small dog, there's a very small amount of THC in there, the actual psychoactive part of the bud, right, the weed. I believe that maybe it is affecting her. And who fucking knows, but I don't know what to do. And Esther and I were talking about, now she shits and pisses all over the place. She's getting older, so she just does her business

wherever she damn well pleases. Oh yeah, she's like in the retirement home. I know, our youngest is like a blue monitor. So she'll, she is. And she hears me saying stuff and she repeats it. So I'll be like, boo, get out! Like, you know, for dinner time, she's always jumping up on somebody trying to get at their food.

And so I always have to put her out of the kitchen. There's a gate that we have. And so now my youngest is like, boo, boo, out, boo, out, you know, or boo, quiet, boo, quiet. But she also knows- I love those are her first words. I know. Blue, quiet were my child's first words. When the doctor asked us,

could she put two sentences together, two words together? And we say, yes, blue quiet or blue out or blue, shut the fuck up. So, but she also follows the dog around. And if she sees any pee pee poo poo, she's like, she's like, daddy, daddy, boo pee pee, boo poo poo. I know.

It's so funny. It's so crazy. But I don't think the CBD oil is working. Yeah, it doesn't seem, it seems to be doing the opposite in fact. No, yeah. I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do. I mean, if anybody has any ideas out there, I'm open to the idea besides cutting her vocal cords out.

We had some dude years ago sent us a message and it was like this whole long message she had worked as a vet tech for a number of years and he was like it's actually not you know that bad to cut a boot and I thought to myself you're out of your fucking mind. What are you talking about? I know. It's torture. It's gotta be torture. Didn't you even have like a muzzle thing that you had put on?

We had a neck thing. We had an electric collar. The electric collar, yeah. We had a spray thing and then we had an electric collar. So we had the spray thing, which sprayed like a little bit of, I don't know, you put like vinegar in it or something. It was like this weird, you would spray it and it was,

and guess what Blue would do? She would lick it. She thought it was good. And so she would bark to get the it and it was, and guess what Blue would do? She would lick it, she thought it was good, and so she would bark to get the spray in her mouth. That's what she would do. It would spray and then, you know, she would lick it off the floor. And so she was barking and then licking it off the floor.

Barking and then she learned that if she barked, that it would spray on the floor. So then we took it a step further and we said, okay, let's get an electric collar. Yeah, I had a friend who did the electric collar thing and it did seem to work. Okay. Well, this did not. Okay. Yeah.

Okay. Good for her. Yeah. Good for her. This is blue. She's like unlike any dog in the history of dogs. This dog, every time that she would get shocked, she'd bark even more. It was like this vicious cycle.

That lasted for two days and we were done. We were like, oh my God, this makes it even worse. And there was a lady who one time told me that she sent me a thing from Amazon. This is not too long ago. I wish I could remember her name. Thank you for the suggestion. It is a device that emits a, like, dog whistle sound. Well, yeah, that we can't hear. That you can't hear, but the dog can and it's annoying. So haven't tried that yet. I think we'll give that a try next.

Oh, yeah, you gotta give that. You're at your last with them, dear. Yeah, I know. Noemi said, why don't you put, get an old Sprite can or old Coke can, put a bunch of rocks in it, tape it up, and then shake it out her every time she barks and it'll train her not to.

It worked like a charm for like the first 20 minutes and then she just started barking at the can and it was like, oh my God, this is crazy. But I have read and I believe that dogs who are anxious, they can develop, I guess this is like crazy people talking to themselves on the side of the street if you're like mentally ill, they have developed a weird relationship with their own voice and is that it calms them down. So when they get super anxious, they bark because that calms them down. It's a way to expel energy and it drives, you know, there's some pineal gland or something. I don't fucking know. I just want Blue to

shut up. That's all I want. I think you need to go to the whistle. Blue probably looks at me how I looked at that old man. Like, what? What? I'm trying to tell you. I'm upset. What are you, what's the problem?

Out of courtesy. The problem is I'm upset because of you. That's the problem. And on that CBD, it's bad already that she follows me around every step I take. But last night it was like, she was literally under my feet the entire time. Oh, Lord, okay. I know, I think we might have to cut out the seat.

But we gave it a try. Hey, we gave it a try, and that's what matters. I, you know, again, if anybody has any fucking suggestion as to how to get this dog to stop barking, lower her anxiety or something, let me know. And I don't want any kooky fucking recommendations like dog massage, because if you think I'm taking my dog to the masseuse,

you got another thing coming. That's not gonna happen. You crazy, you crazy. Maybe, did you already try like the blanket thing on her? Yeah, we had that for a while. Like a weighted blanket thingy. Yep, we had the thunder blanket and the anxiety blanket and our lives

my mom has spent $150,000 on QVC just in the last two years I've spent $150,000 on devices and contraptions to stop my dog from barking and none not one has worked efficiently for more than 15 minutes. Yeah, there was one trainer who got her licked for like two weeks He had a clicker and he would just a clicker more than 15 minutes. There was one trainer who got her licked for like two weeks. He had a clicker and he would, just a clicker. That was it.

And he would click and he trained her how to shut up when that clicked. But the second that he left and I started clicking, she just, it's as if she wasn't intimidated anymore. The clicker was done. It was done. Guess who's not gonna be at the Dania point beach improv, the Dania Beach improv.

Blue. On the 24th. Blue, that's right. Of September, just a short month and some change away, Chrissy. But we might have to record her, you know, barking and just have clips of it. So it's comfort. It's comfort. Yeah, so we know that we're doing an episode.

That's right. Oh, that's a good idea. Christina, cut clips of Blue barking. I'll do it, actually, I'll do it. It'll sound better. You've got plenty of supply. Yes. So, Damia Beach Improv,

I hope I'm saying that correctly if I'm not, it's Fort Lauderdale, Miami area, okay? Damia Beach Improv, very famous comedy club down there. Kristi and I are gonna be there on the 24th. Tickets now available by going to our Instagram, link in bio, or you can go to our website, or you can go straight to the Improvs Club's webpage and just look up the date and there you can see it.

Also, we're gonna be at the Bone. We're gonna be boning it at the Bone. We're gonna be at the Orlando Bone. I like saying that. Me too. We're gonna be at the Orlando Funny Bone on the 25th, the night after that. So if you wanna do a road trip, cool, come with us.

On the 25th, and it's just gonna be us, that's it. We're the future for the entire night. Nobody, so you're gonna the future for the entire night. Nobody. No pressure. You're going to get no funny the entire night. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822, questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas, tcbpodcast.com. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok. Thanks so much for joining us. Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Watch Sam Morill's new special. You've changed until next time. Kirsty and I always say, we do say and we must say, goodbye. I'm going to go chillin' and see this one!