The Commercial Break - TCB Infomercial w. Des Bishop

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Bryan's twin joins TCB! Oh...wait...I mean his other twin... Anyway, listen to these middle aged white men fall in love! Let the ass kissing commence! Des’s dad was super hot The Chinese Project ... Learning mandarin 007 & Davy Crockett Meeting in AA Once again…it’s not Dating Naked, it’s Naked Attraction Of All People! Des’s future kids? Old Dads Support Group Branching out in your audience Irish boarding schoo DES BISHOP: Des’s website Des’s Special: Of All People Breaking China LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:53 to talk with an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. I can't remember the last time I just took a shit. It was definitely over a decade ago because now I am so addicted. That used to be like a shit. It was definitely over a decade ago Because now I am so addicted that used to be like me time, you know, that was everybody's like yo This is me time. Don't bother me, you know on the throne, you know now sometimes I'll be like I'll be running home I'm so addicted to my phone. I'll get home. I'll make it to the bathroom Wow, I just made it and then I realized I left my phone in my jacket. I'll pick my pants back up I'll go back outside I'm like, in my jacket. I'll pick my pants back up. I'll go back outside I'm like, oh my god. I
Starting point is 00:02:27 Was nearly with myself for two minutes What would I have done with my thoughts had I not been able to swipe on my Instagram for two minutes while I'm in the bathroom On this episode of the commercial break Your wife is anything like my wife that n nanny is going to be at least 60 years old. There's going to be no woman coming in this app. I have a friend, sadly lost his wife young, but anyway, the in-laws got the nanny and they made a bad call. Oh, they did?
Starting point is 00:03:01 Well, good call or bad call, it depends what side of the divide you're on. Yeah, exactly. Good call on the nanny's part. As a result of that story, you can be sure our nanny is definitely going to be 60 years old. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green, this is Kristin Joy, hopefully my best friend and the co-host of this wonderful podcast. Best to you, Chrissy. Best to you, Brian.
Starting point is 00:03:36 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on a Infomercial Tuesday with a brother from another mother, Des Bishop coming in. I'm so excited. I'm heavy about this one, Chrissy. I know. What more could you want than yet another white, middle-aged man here on the commercial break? He's good looking, too.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Oh, man, he's a handsome dude. God damn, he's handsome. He really is. So Des Bishop, for those of you that don't know, is the husband of Hannah Berner. When we talked to Hannah, she was, I'm trying to say it properly, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Hannah. Hannah, whatever your name is.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Hannah explained that Dez would be a great fit for the commercial break. He should come on. I'll tell them all about you. And you know, I figured that was just stuff people in the entertainment industry say to each other. Like, my people will call your people, call me for tickets, you know, have my people send out some tickets, all that, you know, all that good stuff. Like a lot of times when Brian says, you must come back on the show, on the show, where they have no choice but to say it.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Right. You know, but he did in fact come on, he did in fact want to come on the show and here he is today. And I'm very excited about it. Des has this special, here's how I connected with Des. Yeah, because you've known about him for a while. For a long time. I mean, I say a long time, as long as the podcast has been around, because when the pandemic started, I don't know how, but I got, you know, served some of his
Starting point is 00:04:54 content via Instagram. And then I was like, oh, this guy's really funny. I like his style. I like what he's doing up there. Let me check him out. And what I landed on was Dez Bishop Breaking China. up there. Let me check them out. And what I landed on was Dez Bishop Breaking China. And what this is, is it's a show, television show that he did where he spent a year in China learning Mandarin, like perfect Mandarin. And then he did a stand, all four doing stand up in China in front of a totally Chinese crowd in Mandarin. And he did it and he got laughs. I don't even think they have stand up in China. Like he's, this is by the way, this was like 10 years ago when he did this or something. It was a long time ago, but I saw it online and I watched all the episodes and I just kind of fell in love with the premise. I fell in love with Dez and his style of comedy.
Starting point is 00:05:40 And I just think he's one of the funniest, you know, comedians out there right now. I like his style. I mean, just going for it. Yeah, why not just jump right in. Yeah, committing to it, say you're going to do it, you do it. You move in with a family there, and you just only talk Mandarin. That's it. You just dive right in. Let me tell you something about learning another language. Learning another language is harder the
Starting point is 00:06:05 older that you get. That's my personal opinion about this. I have been speaking and understanding, trying to understand Spanish since I was 16 years old, and I still don't do it very well. I certainly don't do it fluently, but if I go to Spain, I instantly turn into a Spanish-speaking human being. Like, when I'm immersed in the culture, then I can get around. But my Spanish is still pretty bad. I understand a lot of it, I speak less of it, but it's really hard for me to wrap my head around some of the conjugations and some of the ways. But Spanish is one of the easiest languages to learn. Mandarin is one of the most difficult languages to learn. He did it in a year and then he did standup. What a ballsy fucking move.
Starting point is 00:06:46 What a ballsy move. He went for it. He did a great job. Anyway, fell in love with it. And then I watched his, of all people, which is the new special that he has out on YouTube. Which is really funny. Dude, the first 10 minutes, if that doesn't get you going,
Starting point is 00:07:03 that doesn't tickle you in the right spots. I don't know what will. I mean, he is, he's quick, he's brash, he first 10 minutes, if that doesn't get you going, that doesn't tickle you in the right spots, I don't know what will. I mean, he is, he's quick, he's brash, he's fussy, he's fiery. He's just like me. Yeah. He's just like me. And I'm going to point that out in every way. I feel like I have a twin brother out there.
Starting point is 00:07:15 His name is Des Bishop. Well, his name is Kevin Green, but I feel like I have a twin brother out there. You're a triplet. There's triplets and then Des is one of them. So we're so excited to have... And how about the universe just doing its thing and putting him in front of us after you found him four years ago at this point, then through Hannah, and now he's here. That's wild. I did not know the two of them were married until Hannah got booked on the show, and then
Starting point is 00:07:41 I was doing some research and I was like, holy fuck, she's married to Des Bishop. So, I just, yeah, you're right. The universe works in mysterious ways. She is a fickle and funny bitch and she has put Des right here in front of us today. So, enough kissing his ass. I mean, honestly. Come on, Brian. But we're fans. But I am a fan. This is one of my favorites and I am excited to have him in. So why don't we do this? I'm going to... Why don't we? Why don't we do this? Why wouldn't we do this? Happy Juneteenth, everybody.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Do the Biden dance. Do the Biden. Do the Biden robot. Chrissy just showed me the video where Biden's at a Juneteenth celebration and everyone's music playing, everyone's dancing around him and he's got to look like... Yeah, I think Colbert called it the grandpa robot. Oh, it's worse. Honestly, he does not look like he knows where he is. I know, it's funny. I mean, we got two really bad choices coming up here. My personal opinion is he might be the better of the two, but not by much.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Not by much. I mean, he looks like, where's the donuts? Where's the donuts? Time to make the donuts. There's all these memes going around now about it. Poor guy. I mean, he's just old. That's just what it is.
Starting point is 00:09:01 He's old. He still seems like he's got it most days, but then sometimes you hear him speak and you're like, ah, is anybody home up there? And then you watch him dance and you're like, oh shit. Oh shit. Well, you know what they say, he's the lesser of two evils, in my opinion, my personal opinion, he's lesser of two evils. But besides the point, not going to get into politics, we're going to talk to Des Bishop, who is a aggressively moderate, we're going to talk to Des Bishop, who is a aggressively moderate, has aggressively moderate political stance. We're excited. So we'll take a break and then we'll be back with that. Oh, by the way, desbishop.net or go onto YouTube, please, and watch Of All People. And let's ask him where he gets that name because I don't even understand what that title means,
Starting point is 00:09:42 quite frankly. But I don't understand a lot of stuff. I'm like Biden, I don't understand a lot of stuff. But I'm here with the microphone anyway. All right, we'll be back. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCB. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages
Starting point is 00:10:11 he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm gonna thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. This episode is sponsored in part by Quince.
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Starting point is 00:13:32 the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash rs10 today. And Dez is here with us now. Thank you so much, Des, for coming on the commercial break. Hello, Desmond. Thanks for having me, guys. This is amazing. This is amazing to have you. I have to say, I imagine that you and your wife don't talk a lot or you wouldn't be here on the commercial break. Thank you. And your wife, having reviewed what happened, we had Hannah on a couple of months ago. She was so lovely with us and graced us with her time. And so Desmond is the full name, Desmond Bishop.
Starting point is 00:14:12 That is, I think, about as Irish of sounding of a name as it comes, but you are actually born in London, shot over to Queens, and then didn't get back to Ireland until you were 14 years old. Is that right? Yeah. As I recently joked in my show, born in London, raised in New York, educated in Ireland, then went to China and now I'm back in the States, which is a lot of traveling for a bishop to do because I had to do it all diagonally. But the London birth, can I just say that my London birth is like an anomaly. My parents were living in London, they waited for me to be born and then they immediately
Starting point is 00:14:48 left. So I am kind of left with this odd British birth that has like nothing to do with my identity. Okay, but let's dig into this for a second. So why were your parents over in London like traveling for vacation or something and your mom went into labor? No, so my dad was actually an actor and a model before I was born.
Starting point is 00:15:07 This is where you get your good looks from? Well, he was very, if I wish, I wish I could bring up a picture of like my dad's headshot. He was exceptionally good looking, like to the point where like people don't know what to do without head looking, he was. Like when you see, when you see this headshot that he has, it's like, it's disarming how good looking he was. Like when you see this headshot that he has, it's disarming how good looking he was.
Starting point is 00:15:27 So my dad had gone from, my dad was like an actor in London, then he was headhunted by the Ford Modeling Agency, brought over to the States and that's when he met my mother at that time. Okay. Then his career definitely was always more successful in the UK. So around the time that I was born, he had been back, they had been back in London since 1973, I was born at 75. So, but once my mother was pregnant, she actually didn't want to go back to New York. My dad gave into my grant. My mother's mother pushed my dad to get them back to New York. They waited for me to be born cause you couldn't travel back in those days
Starting point is 00:16:03 pregnant. Oh, amount of time. And then I was, within four weeks, I was back in New York. But I do have a British birth, which as an Irish American, it has hurt my soul for a very long time. Not to offend, not to offend your British listeners, but it's just an odd thing on my birth certificate. Yes, you're born in, you're an Irish guy born in London, so I'm sure that they've held that against you. Behind enemy lines.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Well I have to ask, when you go to Ireland to do shows, because I think you actually were in Ireland doing shows when we talked to Hannah last time, did you get a warm reception from the Irish crowds? Well, I think it's pretty important to point out that almost my entire comedy career has been an Irish comedy career. I went to, I didn't go to Ireland to do shows. I went to Ireland, go to boarding school when I was 14. So, and I got into comedy when I was 21, when I was still in college in Ireland. So my, almost my entire career has been in Ireland. And even when I left Ireland, most of the time, I didn't come back to the States. So, the crowds definitely give me a warm reception, but only because they're the
Starting point is 00:17:11 only crowds I've really known until very recently. That's not true. And I was very lucky. I was very lucky that because I was educated in Ireland, but I have this strong like New York accent, I never lost my New York accent. Irish people, particularly in those early years, perceived me as like an American, but they were shocked by how much I knew and how good I was at doing like Irish accents and stuff like that. If you've ever seen like Tom Cruise far and away, you will know that Irish people
Starting point is 00:17:40 expect Americans to be really bad at Irish accents, whereas I could do like every different area of Ireland. So to be honest, I got more than just a warm reception by Irish crowds. I got more than I deserved because actually I wasn't even that funny. I just happened to be more Irish than they were expecting this mouth to produce. You got a warm reception because it's kind of like you walked into foreign, it's almost like you're a foreigner in your own land and they're like, oh my God, he really knows a lot about our culture and look at him, he's doing an RTE show. By the way, to tell my audience one thing right now, I got to say this before it slips away,
Starting point is 00:18:16 Breaking China, Des Bishop Breaking China on YouTube is one of my favorite pandemic shows, because I think that's maybe when it was released by RTE out into the wild or something. No, it was on RTE in 2014. Yeah, it was on a long time ago. I released it into the wild myself, without permission, on YouTube, I think around that time where I certainly did it again. I mean, it's shocking to me that you've seen it. I loved it. I feel like it doesn't have a lot of views, but it was originally an RTE show where I had one year, I lived in Beijing for one year to learn Mandarin, to do stand-up in Mandarin. What an experience.
Starting point is 00:18:57 How did you do this? I know. How did you do this? How did you learn one of the most difficult languages to learn in the world in just a year, fluently enough to go then stand up? So here's the whole premise of the show is Desgos lives with a family, works in China, and then learns Mandarin well enough to go do stand up in front of a crowd and gets laughs nonetheless. How do you learn a language that quick at your advanced age? And I'm saying this from a place of love and respect because I also am your advanced age.
Starting point is 00:19:31 No, but the older you get, the harder it is to learn new language. Well, first of all, can I just say that if anybody had one year of their life to put aside with the sole purpose of learning a language, you would be amazed how fluent almost anybody would get in that language. Years ago, because I learned the Irish language too, which I won't confuse the audience, but while I was learning the Irish language, the guy who was helping me said that one of the most important things you need for language learning is motivation. And what better motivation than knowing that at the end of one year, my progress, or not even just at the end of one year, but throughout the whole journey of one year
Starting point is 00:20:05 People are gonna be watching me progress So Ireland is not a big country, but it's still it's still like a lot of people that are gonna be watching you And if you fail, it's pretty embarrassing. So I was I was highly motivated Yes, and then China is such a great immersion, you know, like because actually not a lot of people speak English there I was living with that family who they didn't really have English speaking in the house China is such a great immersion, you know, like, because actually not a lot of people speak English there. I was living with that family who they didn't really have English speaking in the house. So it's necessity.
Starting point is 00:20:31 You very quickly pick up more than you would expect. Also, by the way, I was very rigid with myself. I didn't watch any English language programming for the full year, except for Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad was on some Chinese site, like one of these, iQiyi, or one of these Chinese websites, actually had the official permission to show Breaking Bad.
Starting point is 00:20:54 So it was coming up one day after it was coming out in the United States. So the only show I allowed myself to watch in English was Breaking Bad. The rest of the time, I watched everything in Mandarin. I completely immersed myself, no English. And I wouldn't, I try not to talk to people in English. I only hung out with Chinese people. I was like the total nerd. Jared Sussman You nailed it, by the way. You nailed it. And
Starting point is 00:21:18 I got to say this. So, real quick, what is the Irish language? Gaelic? Is that what it would be? Gaelic is what they say over here. Yeah, Gwylga officially in the Irish language. And then in English, the word for the Irish language is Irish, you know? But in the States, when you say Irish, people think, isn't that just English with an Irish accent? So, I had, you know, back in 2007, accent. Yeah. Yeah. So I had, you know, back in 2007, I had learned the Irish language for a TV series for Irish TV, which was also like a successful TV show, but also easy to do in terms of stand up about the Irish language because everyone in Ireland actually has to learn it, but they don't succeed, but it's a compulsory subject in school. Okay. But that is where I got the idea for the Chinese project. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:06 So pull back the curtains a little bit on this show that I loved so much. Does RT, do you, do you approach RTE and say, Hey, listen, I want to do this special, is it your idea? Do you bring it to them or do they bring it to you? No. So the Irish language idea was my idea. I mean the Chinese one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:21 But that, that, that, this is the journey. Oh, okay. So the Irish language was my idea, did very well on RTE. And then coincidentally, I had a big breakup. I was actually engaged to be married back in those days. Oh, scandalous. Big breakup. And suddenly I had like, like, I just had like, freedom to do whatever I wanted, you know, career wise. So I had this obsession with China, the Chinese language, it was leading up to the 2008 Beijing Olympics. So I said, Hey, how, why don't we do this? What we just did, but for Chinese, but unfortunately, first of all, they
Starting point is 00:22:53 didn't bite straight away, a much bigger budget, and I didn't actually get it off the ground for five years. So it took five years from the initial pitch to actually flying to Beijing. That's such a long time. That's such a long time to sit and wait. I get that. Well, a lot, a lot, a lot had happened, you know, my dad, actually my dad got sick. And then, so, you know, we were talking right at the beginning about my dad being an actor and a model. So when my dad got sick, I actually wrote a show about my dad called My Dad Was Nearly James Bond because one of the, his claims to fame,
Starting point is 00:23:25 which is actually his claim to fame is a failure, but he did audition for On Her Majesty's Secret Service or certainly like low level consideration. He's not like in the annals of James Bond history, but he definitely had been looked at by the broccoli, you know, the producers. And it was kind of like a running gag in our family that my father had a chance. Jared Oh my God. This is so familiar, Des. Let me share with you. And this is my dad. Des Is this another strange cross of our lives? Jared Yes, this is another strange cross of our lives. Your dad was almost James Bond. My dad was almost Davy Crockett.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Des No way! Jared I'm kidding you. Very similar. My dad, we moved here to Atlanta from Chicago. We moved to Atlanta, I'm like, I don't know, 12 years old, 13 years old. And my dad gets us all in the car one Saturday. And he says, we're going down to the Westin, which is a famous hotel here where you go up to the top in the spinning restaurant, every city has one.
Starting point is 00:24:20 So he says, we're going to the Westin and it's gonna be a day, bring a snack, whatever. We get down there and all of a sudden, we're standing in line with a bunch of other grown men just standing there near this conference hall. And I'm like, Dad, I thought we were going to go to the top in the spinning restaurant and the whole nine yards. He said, you know, like a good Irish father, shut up and eat your snack, right? We're going to get there eventually. We're standing in line. That's what people do because back then we did not have. Did you just press a sound effect? I didn't know you had the Ableton right there.
Starting point is 00:24:50 Oh buddy. We got the whole nine yards. That was accident. Before the punchline. I guess I'm not getting the producer job either. Um, so, so the afternoon just goes on and on. You know, we don't have cell phones, video games, stuff like that. The afternoon goes on and on. And then eventually my dad leaves us with this lady so he can go into the conference room. He's
Starting point is 00:25:16 back five minutes later. So what dad, what in the world did we just do? We didn't even go to the top of the building. What happened? He says, well, I'm auditioning for Disney's new version of Davy Crockett. My dad wasn't an actor. He wasn't good looking. He was just a guy and he's like, Oh, what the hell? Why not? He responded to like a general call out, like a cattle call. I don't even know how my dad is so far from an actor or a model or anything, I don't know. It was just this random occurrence in my life. I was just kind of piggybacking off of that story about 007. Pete Yeah. Well, my dad, he had one line in Zulu, right?
Starting point is 00:25:58 Pete Oh! Zulu. Pete Yeah, Zulu, it's Michael Caine, you know? Pete Yes. Pete And then he had a few lines in Day of the Triffids, which most people don't know, but it's actually like a cult B movie. However, the claim to fame of Day of the Triffids is, and Danny Boyle's 28 Days Later, the opening scene where he walks in London, Killian Murphy walks in London and there's nobody there at the beginning of this zombie apocalypse, it's actually a homage to a day of the triphids.
Starting point is 00:26:26 So it is, it is a film that did inspire some, but my father played a bind pilot blind pilot and data triphids. And he was in a blue nun commercial, which actually aired in the United States. What's a blue, what's blue nun blue nun is like a cheap wine. Oh, and he's having a picnic and he says to his, you know, the woman in the commercial, he says, red or white darling. And she says blue. So there you go. Love it.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Did your dad when, and I know your dad has passed, did your dad, when he was alive, did he support what you were doing? Did you feel like you got support from your dad? Yeah, yeah. Both my parents were actually very supportive of that. My mother only cared that I got a degree. That was like her thing. And my dad always straight away, I mean, he had a career in entertainment. So what my dad was James Bond was all about was the sacrifice that he made. Because in my lifetime, my father was in retail. He was most of my life, he was the general manager of Burberry on 57th Street. Ooh. So he was just a retail guy. Uh, but that was because he decided that, uh, the acting modeling life wouldn't be a stable life for his kids.
Starting point is 00:27:31 So my dad was near James Bond. It is a funny show, but it's really about the sacrifice that my father made for us. You know, so, so, and he was very supportive. And actually the hook of my dad was near James Bond at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival 2010 was at the end actually my dad used to come out. So even though he was dying, but we flew him over to Edinburgh and right at the end he would walk out and it would bring the house down. So that was a great experience that we had at the end. So not only was he supportive, but he took part. His final act, literally, no pun intended, his final act
Starting point is 00:28:11 was to do, we did a show together. I love that. This is where our paths diverge, my friend. My dad is still wondering when I'm going to get a real job. Even when I had a real job, he was wondering when I was going to get a real job. Even when I had a real job, he was wondering when I was going to get a real job. Yeah. But my dad, my dad was an immigrant. My dad wasn't from the States. He was raised in Cork and actually lived a lot of his life in the UK. Yeah. When he came to the United States, did he find it tough? Because I had relatives that were from Ireland and they found it tough to come over to the United States. Things were different
Starting point is 00:28:46 way back then, right? Well, he had been in London for years, you know, so he was quite a cosmopolitan dude by the time he came. He sounds like a Renaissance man. He sounds like a real badass, actually. Well, here's what's funny is my parents always lied to me about how they met. I didn't find out until very late in the end that they actually met at an AA meeting. No! Oh, wow!
Starting point is 00:29:03 Yeah, by the way, they didn't remain at AA. In my lifetime, they were sober, but after they met, they went back drinking. But they originally met at an AA meeting, which of course, you know, is frowned upon in their recovery circles. Of course! You cannot date, you cannot date the, well, at least for the first couple of years, I understand that you cannot date, it's like way frowned upon to date other people who are trying to get sober. Because you enable each other. You're not supposed to, they always said they met at a party, which was a total lie.
Starting point is 00:29:30 But yeah, so they met at an AA meeting, but then, yeah, they lived in, you know, my father was, you know my father never had a driver's license, this is how urban my dad was. Never had a driver's license. That's true. Until he died, he went from London to New York and he never drove.
Starting point is 00:29:44 He didn't need it. He never drove, that's so interesting. How crazy He went from London to New York and he never drove. He didn't need it. He never drove. That's so interesting. But the good news was, he married my mother who was an absolute control freak, neurotically so. So she was quite happy that he didn't even have the ability to drive himself around. She could keep...
Starting point is 00:29:58 Keep eyes on him. Yeah, that's right. So your parents at one point weren't sober, they got sober, they got un-sober, and then sober again. Yeah. But I never saw them drinking. They were sober before I was born. Except for the blue nun.
Starting point is 00:30:11 Except for the blue nun. Yes. Oh, and the blood of Christ, obviously. Oh, yes. Blood of Christ. Well, that's obvious. The two bits of alcohol that were allowed. That's right.
Starting point is 00:30:23 Alcoholics all over say, it's for the Lord. By the way, you were joking, but I don't know if it was before we started recording, but you were talking about being an Irish Catholic from Chicago. You know, I have a lot of Catholic material, but I don't really normally do it in the States, but I was in Chicago recently and I did it and my God. It killed? Very Catholic, Chicago. Very Catholic. I was surprised. So I grew up Irish Catholic, I went to Catholic school all of my life, and it's just so deeply embedded into my experience. Of course. I know.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Oh, trust me. More suffering than people realize. Yeah, a lot of suffering. A lot of guilt. From what I've learned. Yeah. A lot of shame. Hundreds of hours in therapeutic to pull back the Catholic veil
Starting point is 00:31:07 that is the original sin. Like, you're born just a bad person, you've got to figure it all out. That's how it goes. But it was such a part of my existence, especially as a young child. When we came here to Atlanta, where it is not, definitely not as Catholic, all of a sudden we didn't, we stopped going to church as much. My dad didn't care if we read the Bible. Like, oh, I think the veil kind of got pulled back a little bit. How annoying that you got to Atlanta where church is actually fun. That's right. And I had to go to Catholic church. Went from like boring, you know, like, he is Lord, you know, really boring songs to like black church. Hallelujah.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Yes. Hallelujah. know, really boring songs to like black church. Yes. Yeah. Go to a Southern Baptist. She got married at like a Southern Baptist. Well, no, it was a black Catholic. It was the first black Catholic church. I'm not Catholic, but my husband is. And so, yeah, and they have so much fun at this church. Des, I am telling you what. I mean, full band, full choir. Big fan. Oh yeah, huge. It was so much fun. I was like, are we doing Rails in the Bathroom or what's going on? When does the party start here? I mean, people were just so excited about the idea.
Starting point is 00:32:12 My mother was such an Irish American Catholic and so traditional that sometimes the priest would sing the Our Father and she would like say out loud, like people could hear her, she'd be like, you don't sing the Our Father. Anything fun at Mass was a problem. Oh, and you know what else my mother hated? If like, every now and then something would happen, like the priest would give a homily or like, you know, I don't know, at a wedding or a funeral, somebody would say something and people would applaud, my mother's like, you don't applaud at Mass. There was no joy. There was no joy allowed at church.
Starting point is 00:32:41 I know there's people up in that church. I'm with their girls. Yeah, they're just like dancing. Yeah, you don't applaud. Not according to my mother. You know, no. You want to know something? So, one, we get to Atlanta, we go to church first couple of months, and there's like this young priest, but he's very traditional, right? He's the kind of guy, like, he gives the homily, it's right on the nose, it's all about Jesus Christ suffering for your sins, you got to do this. He's not one of these, like, young reformist priests. He's very much traditionally, so he's standing outside the the church as everyone walks out, his greeting, and so my mom has us, my dad's not there for
Starting point is 00:33:18 whatever reason, and we are wearing deck shoes. I don't know if you know what deck shoes are, they're just, you know, yeah, deck shoes, right? So, he's Irish. Yeah, he's got deck shoes. I don't know if you know what deck shoes are. They're just, you know, yeah, deck shoes, right? So he's Irish. Yeah. I got the references from both sides of the Atlantic. We have shoes in Ireland. Because I went to Ireland, got stuck in a snowstorm in Dublin and all I saw was dating naked for five days on RT. Naked and afraid? Naked, no, Dating Naked, that show. Oh, right. I missed that one. They reveal vaginas one minute, one minute.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Oh, that show! Yeah, where they make you see how it is. That was hilarious. So we're walking outside and the priest stops my mom and she says, oh, I know you're new to the community and I just wanted to welcome you and just let you know that Jesus frowns upon casual shoes. I noticed your children have all of them on. Let's change that for next week. Yeah, literally, Jesus wore sandals. I know. Jesus, I couldn't understand, I wanted to say something, but of course I would get smacked, so I didn't say something. But it was just like, even at my young age, I was like, what an asshole.
Starting point is 00:34:24 If Jesus was alive today, he'd be wearing Birkenstocks. I don't say something, but it was just like, even at my young age, I was like, what an asshole. What an asshole that guy was. If Jesus was alive today, he'd be wearing Birkenstocks. I don't know what these people are talking about. Jesus was a mushroom-taking hippie. That's what he was. I mean, it's almost conclusive, but let's not get everybody any audience all pissed off. Yeah, everyone will get all riled up on the religious. Anyway, I was very Catholic in my younger years.
Starting point is 00:34:44 Yeah, me too. I was an altar boy in the whole nine years. Yeah, the whole thing. But somewhere around 13 years old, I don't know, 13, 14, I started making out with girls while I was supposed to be an altar boy, you know, like they had me back in the past, we had a little cloak room or whatever. Yeah, the rectory. The rectory. The rectory. The rectumory? Yes, that's right. rectum-ry? Yes, that's right. So I have to die, I'm dying to know this because I saw it in your special when it came out, which is available by the way on YouTube and absolutely
Starting point is 00:35:13 brilliantly hilarious. The first 10 minutes knocked me on my ass every time I watched it. Aggressively moderate. It's a great time to be able to watch it. You know what's funny? I nearly called the special aggressively moderate. You should have. That would have been brilliant. Yeah, but then actually Hannah was thinking like, you don't want to, you know. Yeah, you don't want to turn anybody off. We called it of all people. And the reason why it's called of all people is because Hannah got invited to the MTV Music
Starting point is 00:35:37 Awards and I accompanied her and then we ended up in like the Irish tabloids with a picture of us together. And in one of the Irish like website, you know, gossip websites, the opening line of the article was, Dez Bishop of all people showed up at the MTV Music Awards. So I was like, oh, I love that Irish passive aggressive. That's the type of passive aggressive that I like. I actually found that entertaining. Yeah, that would be funny. But then I was like, of all people, that is a great title. So actually the title is kind of out of spite.
Starting point is 00:36:09 It's a spiteful title. I love that. When you and Hannah got together, like just the Irish tabloids, they keep tabs on you? Fairly. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit? In Ireland, I'm pretty well known.
Starting point is 00:36:21 But you were actually, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. You were about to praise my special. I don't like interrupting praise. You interrupted my compliment. Now I can't even remember. I'm 47, what do you want me to do? You said you enjoyed the first 10 minutes. I enjoyed, well, the first 10 minutes knocked me on my ass.
Starting point is 00:36:35 You're so quick, you're so witty and fussy and fiery, and I love it, I think it's my type of comedy. It's right up my alley. Well, can I just, can I wrap myself out? Yeah, go ahead. In the edit, that is not actually the beginning of how I performed it. So I made a decision to come out hot,
Starting point is 00:36:55 but that's not how the show actually started. So that first bit. You made the right call. Yeah, the first bit, the straight white guy stuff, it was like actually 15 minutes into the show. I see a secret. So editing magic. Yeah, editing magic.
Starting point is 00:37:10 I see comedy sometimes. I don't know, I think it's got a lot of musicality to it. And you made the right call. Because you came out hot and you hit the beat. And it just gets you going from right from the get. But I wanted to share that in that special, you say that Hannah wants kids, but you're like, eh, I'm not so sure about that.
Starting point is 00:37:33 And how are you feeling now? A year and some change after the special was recorded, I'm assuming it was recorded in 2023. You did some change after that. How are you feeling now? Where does that debate stand inside of your household? Because I'd like to offer a little advice if I might. Well, first of all, it's not a debate
Starting point is 00:37:50 because it's not really up to me. I mean, obviously it's up to me in terms of making a deposit. But in terms of whether we have kids or not, it's basically like up to Hannah. Now, here's the truth. I always knew that we're probably going to have kids, you know, but, but my personal thing is that I was always big into having kids. The only reason I'm like not as into it now is because I just got a bit older. A lot of my friends, their kids are like, they're close to being kind of done. Right. And I just, the thought of just beginning,
Starting point is 00:38:23 because I've seen, see Hannah hasn't seen what I've seen. I've seen how tough it is, you know? So I'm just like, I was at a time where I had accepted that I might not have kids and I was fine with it. But I've never been like, anti-kid. Yeah, you're not like, I don't want to have kids. You're like, wait, I'm getting to a point in my life where I might be slowing down,
Starting point is 00:38:47 feeling the aches and pains a little bit more. And I don't know if I can go through 18 years. That's when Brian decided to have 30 children. That's when I decided to have 30 children. So I want you to know. And I'm on your team. Because basically I'm not anti-kid. I'm just anti-back pain.
Starting point is 00:39:01 I haven't had any of my own and now I have all these 30s that I watched Brian make. So what's your advice? My advice is do it. Being an older father, my advice is do it. First of all, get some Advil and do it. Advil, Vicodin, whatever your doctor happens to prescribe you. I need Advil to get to the regular stuff. I know, me too. Yeah, child. Well, you just talked about that.
Starting point is 00:39:26 I'll share with you something about having, you know, in Europe, I feel like this is far more common than it is here in the United States. You'll see silver haired dads all around, young kids running around. It's pretty common to have children. In New York too. Yeah, well, that's true. Here in Atlanta, you have them at 16, 17. By the time you're 30, you're done with them. Yeah, but anybody I knew from back in the day, like, you know, because I'm in recovery myself for a long time, like a lot of the guys from like tougher backgrounds than me, they all come into
Starting point is 00:39:53 the rooms like, oh, I'm trying to get my head together. I had a kid and they were like 18, 19 years old. I was like, what are you stupid? But now I think they were smart. I'm the idiot. Yes. I am the idiot. But I'm going to share with you that as, because I no longer drink or do drugs because I had children, I can never be hung over and wake up with children. Not at my advanced age. I'm lucky that I can get out of bed without breaking a hip. Here's the thing. When you have children at an older age, you have the advantage of hindsight. You've seen so much stuff in your life that
Starting point is 00:40:25 you are wiser, you are calmer, you are able to handle, you are able to know which hills to die on and which hills not to die on. You're not as fiery and fussy as you were when you were a kid. And I'm telling you, as an older father, I think I enjoy the moments so much more than my friends who had children at 20 years old or 19 years old or 22 years old. They would go out. Because they're still growing up. They're still growing up. They're going out and partying and they're missing this thing and they're not doing that
Starting point is 00:40:50 thing. And it's not that the children, you know, the children ended up fine. Some of them, some of them are custody. I'm sure some are. Well, that's why I joke with Hannah. I'm like, you know, it's a 50% chance it's going to be a horrible kid. You want to roll the dice? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:02 I have a friend, I have a friend that has three boys, same as my parents had three boys, he had three boys. Two of them are a disaster. That's a bad hit rate, man. That is a terrible hit rate. But how old was he when he had the kids? No, he was normal, actually. He was 30 or something. Old school had him when he was in his 20s. Yeah. Listen, I'm telling you, I don't think you'll regret it. You'll feel the aches and pains, you'll feel a little bit, you know, foggy sometimes from not sleeping. Once you get past the first year, you're going to be fine, you're going to love it. It's going
Starting point is 00:41:35 to be incredible. I promise you guys, don't get any. Hannah wants one, go for it. I have no doubt it's going to be fine. And obviously a lot of time you're just, you know, you're just joking about it. Of course, of course. I know you are. This is a new joke. This is not in any special. I'll share it with you now.
Starting point is 00:41:51 My current joke about the not wanting to have kids is people say, oh, you got to have kids. You don't want to die alone, which people said to me a lot before I met Hannah. You don't want to die alone. And my message there is you're actually only dying for a very short period of time. It's actually, it's not like,
Starting point is 00:42:05 it's a very small percentage of your life. So, you know, a kid in this economy, 30 year commitment for what? A couple of morphine induced conversations? I'll talk to a nurse. You're off your face. You're off your head. You're off your face.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Give me, give me fentanyl and a nurse. I'm good. I'll be fine. My mother, my mother actually had fentanyl at the end, by the way. I wasn't, I wasn't being dismissive about the seriousness of the fentanyl epidemic. I was actually, my mother had a fentanyl patch in her last couple of weeks. It does provide. Chrissy and I have this new theory that we have. So a couple of weeks ago, we,
Starting point is 00:42:41 we found this Instagram reel and And the Instagram reel is a bunch of old ladies and I would imagine they're from somewhere in Eastern Europe. They've got the, you know, kind of like the gypsy garb on and there's this music playing in the background. Travelers. Travelers. Excuse me, travelers. Someone got upset that I said the word gypsy. Travelers. Oh, right. Let's call them that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So everyone's sitting around a table, old ladies, none of them younger than 80 years old,
Starting point is 00:43:06 passing around the biggest plate of cocaine I have ever seen in my entire life, and they are snorting. I'll send it to you, I swear to God. Then there's a part two to this video also, which shows them up and dancing like wild people. Jared Sussman Wow. Danielle Pletka So, yeah, we're like, why not? Jared Sussman We're reading all about these people down in Florida in the villages, they got STDs going through the roof, they're making busts on ecstasy and heroin and all this stuff. I think you do drugs when you're really young
Starting point is 00:43:29 and then when you're really old. And in the middle you have kids and you straighten your life out a little bit. But toward the end, who fucking cares? Do it, get it. Go ahead, go ahead. Yeah, they said that since Viagra came out that STDs have really risen within the nursing home.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Yeah, retirement environment. Hey, I just wanna point out that I think European gypsies, Romany gypsies, the Romany, I don't think they get offended when you call them gypsies. Travelers is the Irish nomadic people don't like being called gypsies. So I think the travel thing is for the Irish travelers. I think Romany gypsies don't mind being called gypsies,
Starting point is 00:44:04 I think, but don't quote me on that. Well, I told the like someone put it in, send it to in a comment or an email or a text message, and I thought to myself, everyone's so fucking sensitive. Like there's a television show in America called My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. I mean, if TLC is- And they are, they are Irish travelers, those ones. Oh, they are? My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, that is actually a show about Irish Travers living in the UK. And there's a big population of them in the UK. Wow.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Yeah, and are they as ostentatious as they're made out to be? I mean, you know, the show is very exaggerated. Of course. Yeah, of course. Anyway, so just in case you get jammed up again. Enterprising, thank you for clearing that up. Yeah, thank you. All right, so listen, to you get jammed up again. Yeah, thank you.
Starting point is 00:44:46 All right, so listen to put a pin on it. Have kids. You can call me anytime you need to. We'll talk it through. We'll start a support group for dads in their forties. Yes, there's plenty of them. The problem is that I'm going to be a dad in my fifties, just so you know. Oh, well, that's true. Yeah, you got to get on it. If you're going to have kids in your forties, you got to get on it right away. Hannah's too busy right now, so we're not going to be doing it in the next year. Well, both of y'all are busy. You're touring now. Yeah. Well, listen, I mean, come on, I'm going to be an older dad. I got to make enough money to get some help. You got to.
Starting point is 00:45:13 That's true. And the nanny. That's true. Yeah. You're going to need the- Minimum one. Minimum one nanny. Minimum. One nanny. But if your wife is anything like my wife, that nanny is going to be at least
Starting point is 00:45:25 60 years old. There's going to be no woman coming in this house. I mean, I'm not going to share it, but I have a friend, sadly, lost his wife young, but anyway, the in-laws got the nanny and they made a bad call. Oh, they did? Well, good call or bad call, depends what side of the divide you're on. Yeah, exactly, good call on the nanny's part.
Starting point is 00:45:49 But as a result of that story, you can be sure our nanny is definitely gonna be 60 years old. Yes. That's what my wife said. We were looking for a nanny one time, and you know, just things are like, one of those days, out of control,
Starting point is 00:46:03 everyone can't, everywhere I'm trying to record it and my wife finally okay let's look at someone who can help us with the kids and we start going through whatever website it was we start going through that and within five minutes my wife was like nope nope nope we don't need a nanny and I was like what are you talking about? Well that's because you're not supposed to look on seeking arrangements for a nanny. Yeah that's true. SugarDaddy.com. For field. Sorry I interrupted you there, didn't I?
Starting point is 00:46:27 Jared. No, go ahead, go ahead. Jared. I actually want to get a Mandarin speaking nanny. Danielle. Oh, there you go. Jared. I was thinking about introducing our child to Mandarin from the get-go. Danielle. You should. Jared. You should. Danielle. Definitely. Jared. That's when, so, my wife is Venezuelan, and so we have a bilingual household. And as children,
Starting point is 00:46:46 they absorbed that, they took them a little bit longer to speak, I guess, clearly in both languages, but once they did, they now speak to their mom in only Spanish, they speak to me in only English, and it is brilliant, beautiful, and they are young kids. They're under the age of seven, all of them. And so, it's like, but they absorb that shit like a sponge. Now I've been trying to learn Spanish for 15 fucking years. And the only time I know Spanish, and you're right about this, is when I'm in Spain. That's the only time that I really know Spanish because I'm forced to know Spanish, right? I have to get around.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Pete You have to learn it because as your kids get older, they're going to be like talking about you, talking shit about you. Anna Wibbastrian Totally. Jared Oh, they already do. Yeah, they already do. They do that in English and in Spanish. Welcome to King Chris and in Spanish. Hannah and I live in the Lower East Side right on the border at Chinatown and actually I would have the opportunity to send my child to a public school, still a public school but actually a Mandarin speaking public
Starting point is 00:47:39 school. Oh that's brilliant. That's my sneaky goal. I started this conversation saying, I'm not going to have kids. I've really already picked out. You've already been thinking about it. Yeah, you've been thinking about it. He just doesn't want the Irish tabloids. Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Don't worry.
Starting point is 00:47:57 I can promise you no one listens to the show. You'll be just fine. So where you're starting a tour now, I just saw the, was on your Instagram yesterday, I saw that you just announced some more dates. How many dates? Yeah, I mean, honestly, that's all because the special, but particularly the clips from the special, the special did fine on YouTube, but the clips did insanely well to the point where like it, it really did change my.
Starting point is 00:48:25 American trajectory. I mean, my Irish career was, you know, I've been doing it in Ireland for a long time, but in America, I mean, I was virtually unknown and, uh, I'm not saying I'm like, you know, gangbusters, but like, I'm literally selling tickets for the first time. So that's, that's like a new phenomenon.
Starting point is 00:48:42 So all these dates are literally as a result of the clips doing well. And it has been fun, I have to say. Like it, you know, cause I've been doing comedy a long time. It's a long time since I felt like, like a new sort of fresh departure in my career. So, so this has been quite exciting.
Starting point is 00:49:01 You know, so, you know, I've kind of bumped into you back, you know, when the pandemic started and then I watched the Chinese special, then I got on your Instagram. And so I've been watching all the stuff that you've been putting out in those clips, those four or five that you're talking about, they blew the fuck up. So much so that our intrepid researchers found a Reddit, a whole sub Redditdit about Des Bicham, right? And so the subreddit is post after post, this guy must be hot right now because he keeps popping up on my Instagram,
Starting point is 00:49:33 I found this guy on Instagram, this guy's my favorite. There are so many people out there that are like fawning over your comedy, and I think that's wonderful. Like, I think that's fucking fantastic. And just like we were talking about with Hannah, this is such a direct way to reach your audience, people who will like you.
Starting point is 00:49:49 If the algorithm somehow manages to favor you in any way, shape, or form, you can find a whole new audience of people who are really your fans. And so this is, I love this story, that you've been doing this for a while. It's like one guy said on the, on the Reddit, he, what did he say? He said something about, wow, this guy really, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:11 found his 15 minutes or found his star or whatever. And I thought, yeah, it only took him 20 years to get there. I mean, it's only 20 years. Well, you know, it's funny because they, so the Irish people, so like, what happened was a lot of these people were like, he's ripping off Bill Burr, right? So there'd be people in the comments be like, he's ripping off Big Bud. And then the Irish people would be in the comments, what are you talking about ripping off Bill Burr? He's been doing it long, maybe Bill Burr is ripping off Des Bicham. There was this clash of people who'd like never heard of me before. And then all the Irish being like, no, what are you talking about? Like, we know this guy forever. But honestly, in terms of like Reddit and stuff like that, like I don't,
Starting point is 00:50:48 you know, cause long time in Ireland, I avoid all that. Right. But it's funny that you're, you're seeing all these positive comments. That's the sweet spot before I'm actually well known here. People are like, we like this guy. The minute you get well known, like this guy loves him. Sad. And you're right about this. Along with the sweet, along with the sweet and
Starting point is 00:51:06 positive comments, of course, there's six assholes for every nice guy, right? It's awesome. And you shouldn't be reading your own Reddit posts, just like we don't. My favorite, my favorite all for years. And this is not just for me, this goes for so many comics will eventually get this comment, which is this guy is not as funny as he thinks he is, which, which, which I love because I always think how funny do they think I think I am because I promise you I'm more critical of me than you are
Starting point is 00:51:34 of me I promise you. You had the same react we get this comment once every two months someone on their reviews or in the comment section will be like you know wow they sure do think they're funny the reviews or in the comment section will be like, you know, wow, they sure do think they're funny. Yeah. That's one of my favorite comments. And I got on air and I'm like, well, do they really think we think we're funny? I know. That's how we obviously realize how mediocre we are at this. And-
Starting point is 00:51:56 No, but on a positive note, it is exciting for me. And like I had a, I had a strange career where like, honestly, if I, if I started doing my jokes to you right now from like 1999 to 2010, you, you wouldn't even know what I was talking about largely because they were so Irish focused and the Irish of course were eating it up, but it was very parochial, very specific to them. So it's actually quite exciting for me to have like a broader, you know, a broader audience and actually going to China actually helped me to realize that like I needed to broaden my horizons of subject matter and this is nothing negative about my experience and I love all that and I love all that material too.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Of course. But obviously this is exciting for me to have branched out to something broader. Well, change is good. You know, America is your home, right? I mean right now it's your home and And so, and America has a huge population. It's extraordinarily diverse. It's a big country. Loves comedy.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Loves comedy. You can eat lunch, just touring around, maybe for the rest of your life, right? That's a great thing to do. Where Island is wonderful, and it's one of your home bases, but it's smaller. And so, you know, I can understand why it's exciting to then broaden your audience to the biggest entertainment, I guess, audience in the world, which is the United States of
Starting point is 00:53:10 America. Also creatively for me, because I have a weird identity, because when I went to Ireland at 14, I went on my own, right? I went to boarding school on my own. My family was still in New York. So I've always been like a hybrid. Like I've always had my feet in both camps, but I was, I, I was never able to like explore aspects of my American childhood in the ways that I am now.
Starting point is 00:53:30 It's like, it's very fun for me. In fact, I just did a show two nights ago in a suburb of New York and a bunch of guys I grew up with, like I didn't even know they were coming. They were in the second row, but they were at the show. And then it was like, I was even able to indulge even further in that American childhood. And there's actually a lot of stuff I could never talk about in Ireland because they wouldn't have gotten it. They won't understand. So, so that, and also the other thing that I've been enjoying exploring is like, I'm a New Yorker, like a real New Yorker. And it's a quite specific
Starting point is 00:53:59 part of my identity, which means nothing really to Irish people other than the New York accent is like, oh, good fellas, man. Joey, Joey from Friends, how are you doing? Yeah, right? How are you doing? It's been fun to be able to sort of lean into that a little bit. Sure. Again, just from a creative point of view, you find jokes that perhaps I wouldn't have found if I wasn't able to lean into that. Can I dig in a little bit on moving over to Ireland when you're 14 by yourself? That's a mutual decision, right? You and your parents talk about it, hey, this would be good
Starting point is 00:54:31 for you. You can go find out where you're from. Or is this, how did you get, that seems so weird to me that they would- The joke in my show is that I got kicked out of school. That's 100% true. I say the reason I got kicked out of school is because I had a problem with alcohol. So my mother had this ingenious idea to send me to Ireland. Now there are two half truths in that statement because obviously the truth can really get in the way of jokes. Did you just put balloons in? No, you did. I don't even know how that happened. I know. We don't either. It happens to us on the cases. But notice how we knew it right away. We didn't even miss a beat.
Starting point is 00:55:06 We were like, oh, whatever. So anyway, so the two half truths are, one, I did have a problem with alcohol. I started drinking at 12 and already by 14, my mother was pretty sure that it wasn't gonna work out for me with the booze. But that wasn't really 100% the reason I got kicked out of school.
Starting point is 00:55:21 And the second half truth is my mother didn't send me. I did, a cousin of mine put the idea in my head about going to boarding school in Ireland because she was helping me like with my summer school homework, she was older than me, she was visiting from Ireland. And I put the idea into my parents' head and then when they looked into it,
Starting point is 00:55:38 it turned out to be like way simpler than they expected, not that expensive. And my mother, later on in years, because she gets, you know, she gets a hard time. My mother, well, she's dead now, but my mother got a hard time for like, shipping your kid off. Yeah. Like why, but in her mind, because she really thought that I was going to have problem with drugs and alcohol.
Starting point is 00:55:58 She was correct. So she actually thought that I'd probably be safer over there. Yeah. You know, I had some, I had some other family members in New York that were like really struggling and amidst her Irish-American Catholic anxiety, raised by alcoholics herself by the way, she's a child of alcoholics, in that anxiety of just like her whole life has been fear of alcohol and alcoholism, she kind of thought he'll be safer over there. I think largely she was
Starting point is 00:56:25 right. She did it out of love. Yeah. And education wise, it was a lifesaver for me because boarding school just suited me. I mean, I don't think I would ever send my kids to boarding school, but boarding school absolutely saved me. The structure, the forced study, the camaraderie amongst the boys, all boys school, by the way, I was that like, that was a big, I needed, I needed less distraction. Right. So everything about the decision was in my favor, but obviously there was, there is a bit of oddness. Yes. About suddenly being in another country on your own, staying with cousins that you've never met before.
Starting point is 00:57:01 It seems like a great adventure, but I think back to 14 year old Brian and how scary that would have been to like, okay, not another country, even if you're loosely connected to it, or in your case, intensely connected to it, you've never been there. I've never been. Yeah. And then to go over there, but I can see why your mom did this. She did it out of love. She was like, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that my child doesn't go down the path that I went down, that their dad went down, and that our family members have gone down. And this is going to be the hardest thing I ever did.
Starting point is 00:57:28 Because if your mom was like, my mom, she loved you to death. Irish Catholic moms just love their children to death. That's why they have 40 of them per family. Yeah. Well, I think actually the main reason she did it, because she suffered so bad from anxiety, but nobody actually talked about anxiety. So, I actually think if my mother took a Xanax, I never would have went to Ireland. She was freaking out. She was like freaking out way
Starting point is 00:57:51 too much, but I'm glad. I mean, I can't imagine my life without it, honestly. Right. I don't think you'd be the same person today. And I was very lucky too, in terms of like Ireland, Ireland changed a lot. Like when I arrived, it was the tail end of like what I would consider like an old Ireland kind of Catholic, you know, very rigid conservative kind of life. And Ireland like has just changed like a hundred percent since I got there and I was able to experience it, witness it, observe it, and then talk about it on stage. So there's just so many aspects of like the life that I had in Ireland that was like really lucky.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Yeah. Well, and it made you, and then it gave you a home base to then go field your comedy. Like you had purchase over your own story and the relation that you had to the Irish people and you were able to kind of get in their heads and their lives because you were one of them. So then they relate to it.
Starting point is 00:58:40 I've seen some of your comedy. But they don't accept us. They don't accept Irish Americans as Irish, by the way. Yeah, well, you know. Just so you know. Can't have everything. When you tell them that you're Irish, they're like, you're not Irish, you're American. I would never say that. Like, I went to Dublin. And when I went to Dublin, I've always wanted to go to Ireland.
Starting point is 00:58:58 So my wife and I, we fly, she's pregnant, we're going to do one of these, you know, what do they call those? Baby moons? Baby moon. A baby moon, where we go. So we fly all over Europe and then our last stop is Dublin. This is in February, I think, January or February. I thought you were gonna try to have the baby in the EU. Now we're trying to get the kids Spanish passports and I was like shit, we just should have had the kids in Spain. So when I, the night before we fly over there, it looks like it's going to have to have some snow in Dublin.
Starting point is 00:59:26 And I'm like, Oh, that's pretty normal. There's snow in Dublin. Of course there's snow in Dublin. It's really not. There's never snow in Dublin. And so it snowed like two and a half, three feet. It just, we were the last plane that landed, the cabs slid all the way to the hotel. We got to the hotel.
Starting point is 00:59:42 People were sleeping in the lobby because they could not go anywhere else. And people were getting like, you know, there was turnover in the hotel, we went back to the hotel. People were sleeping in the lobby because they could not go anywhere else and people were getting, like, you know, there was turnover in the hotel. And so, the hotel was struggling to feed people. It was really weird. We were stuck in Dublin in a snowstorm. Pete Slauson Yes. But a half an inch of snow will do that in Ireland. Jared And that's like Atlanta. Pete Slauson Yeah. Jared And that's true. But the people were so, you know, we could get downtown and walk around the bars and stuff like that. And I just, the people were so lovely. It's such a cosmopolitan city.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Oh Dublin is great. The people are lovely. We have friends that live there. What's your favorite city in Ireland? Well, I mean, Cork is my spiritual home. As far as I started my comedy career, and I consider myself like an honorary Cork man. I'm going to say Cork. My dad was from Middleton and then I went to college in Cork. My grandmother's from West Cork. So I'm going to say Cork. Yeah. But Dublin is a great international city.
Starting point is 01:00:33 I mean, there's just no doubt. When people visit me in Dublin, they are just blown away by how cool it is and how great the food is. Hannah's parents, we were just there. Hannah's parents were in Ireland for the first time literally a week and a half ago. They were blown away by how great the food is. Hannah's parents, you know, we were just there. Hannah's parents were in Ireland for the first time literally a week and a half ago. And they were blown away by how great the food was. And then the people- We had to eat the hotel room service
Starting point is 01:00:52 or the food in the restaurant downstairs for five straight days. Because, you know, we could walk to bars, there were bars serving food, but they couldn't get the food so no one else had food. So it was like the hotel stuff or whatever. And I don't know who was cooking the food, but I expected the food to be shite and it was really fucking good. I got to be honest. Yeah. So we sat around a hotel room for five days, watching a date naked. That sounds like a nice trip.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Honestly, it was the best end to our baby moon. The best thing about Ireland is the people, like the people are the great resource of Ireland and so you can't beat it, like, you know. Jared Sussman They are lovely and now we can say we know one for sure. Dez Bishop, you can go to dezbishop.net, don't ask, we're not going to get into the dot com. Dezbishop.net for his tour schedule and all his dates, you must go watch his YouTube special, please, of all people, yes, of all people.
Starting point is 01:01:51 It needs more views. You don't even have to watch it, just click it on and then go on. Just let it play. Let it play in the background. There's some smart enterprising young man. My ego is completely reliant on views these days. This is what the algorithm has done to us as human
Starting point is 01:02:06 beings. Quantum computing. Quantum computing. But people, but I have to say the feedback on this special was way more positive than I was expecting. It's really good. I do think people will enjoy it. I'm more confident in saying that now than before I put it out because I literally, I almost didn't put it out. Only Hannah was like, you have to put this out. I doubted it 100%. I wasn't going to put it up. That's how critical I was of it before it went up. So. Dez, we're all our worst critic, but from an outsider's point of view, someone that didn't know you until 48 minutes ago, it's a really good special. Dez is really funny. Check out all his shit. Check out Breaking China.
Starting point is 01:02:45 Honestly, one of my favorite shows from the pandemic. One of the gems in the sea of entertainment that was headed our way. During. The never ending sea of entertainment. That's right. All right, you go tell Hannah, you're ready to have a baby.
Starting point is 01:02:57 Tell her hi. Tell her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell her to get away from those dangerous tennis machine, tennis ball machines. Yes. You're ready to have a baby and you guys get to work. Des, will you come back and see us?
Starting point is 01:03:10 Anytime somebody drops out, all I need is about 10 minutes notice. I'll crank up the Zoom. Perfect. Oh, we're taking you up on that. Oh, you just got here. I got you on tape. We're taking you up on that. Desbishop.net, of all people on YouTube, please go check it out.
Starting point is 01:03:22 And then of course you can find him on Instagram and check out all the reels that please go check it out. And then of course, you can find him on Instagram and check out all the reels that we have been talking about. Des Bishop, a gentleman and a scholar, not necessarily in that order, but we love you nonetheless. Thank you, Des. Thank you very much. Thanks. Great to meet you guys. You too. What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tc podcast comm for all things audio video and TCB do
Starting point is 01:03:46 Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on tik-tok at TCB podcast and guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number You will ever have to remember So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. You know, I think my dad is going to be pissed
Starting point is 01:04:30 that I told that story about Davy Crockett. I think he's going to be upset. Probably. Yeah, he seems to want to forget it every time I bring it up. He's like, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't remember that. I'm like, dad, come on.
Starting point is 01:04:45 He even had the Davy Crockett hat on. Like the raccoon with a little tail. Yeah. That's a funny story. And just because too, I actually went to one of those calls too, because our daughter years ago wanted to, it was like a Disney call. Oh, really? And I know the spot. I know the hotel. You know the hotel, you know the spot?
Starting point is 01:05:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The conference room. And to be clear, I don't think he was actually auditioning for actual Davy Crockett. I think he was probably like, you know, extra number five and the credits, right? But whatever, it was funny. It was funny at the time. It was a long day. I do remember that.
Starting point is 01:05:18 We were like standing in line forever. And my dad just kept telling us to shut up and sit down. Shut up, sit down! Eat your snack. Eat your snack. So, Des Bishop, so wonderful. Desbishop.net really interesting. What a pleasure.
Starting point is 01:05:28 Yeah, honestly, he's like. He's like, he's just a friend. A friend, yeah. One of those guys. He can call me when he has those kids and I'll tell him all about it. I'll tell him how to navigate the waters as an old man. Here's what you do.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Agree to take the late shift, Des. Agree to take the late shift. It's the better of the two. I'm positive of it. Yeah, because the early shift late shift. Yes. It's the better of the two. I'm positive of it. Yeah, because the early shift is early. Yes, that's going to be difficult for them because, you know, they're like late night out on the town doing the stand-up comedy thing, both of them. And so when they have to adjust their schedules to get a baby involved, that's going to wake you up every one or two hours.
Starting point is 01:06:01 The first year is tough, Dez, but you'll get through it, I promise, and I say go for it. That's my personal opinion. I'm sure Hannah is gonna love me for it. But what an interesting life he has had. I really admire the way he's transversing the globe. Seriously. Doing different things in different countries, and now he's gonna conquer the US.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Yeah, he's on tour right now. There's lots of dates in the Northeast, it seems like, and then he's going to conquer the US. Jared Slauson Yeah, he's on tour right now. There's lots of dates in the Northeast, it seems like, and then he's going back overseas. But there's lots of dates in the Northeast. You can go to deadsbishop.net and get tickets. I know that if you go to his Instagram, you will have been served some of his content because he's got a couple of clips that are extraordinarily popular. And I think from what I'm reading on the internet, like on Reddit and other places, a lot of people have been serving up his content over the last couple of years as he's gone more viral and people are becoming more familiar with him. And what you do hear a lot is comparisons to Bill Burr. But if you watch his special,
Starting point is 01:06:56 I think you'll see that it's not the same, right? No. He is, he does have kind of have that, I guess, Boston-ish attitude, but he's from New York, not Boston, so there you go. So there you go. And I don't know, I just like him. I like his comedy. I like his brand. I'm excited to see what happens next with him
Starting point is 01:07:13 and for him to be our friend. Well, what happens next is that everybody goes and watches of all people. Yes, they should. And then he's gonna completely explode. He's gonna explode, just like everybody else that comes on the show. Yeah, they completely blow up right after they come on the show. No, not because of us, please.
Starting point is 01:07:32 I think it's clear that no one's blowing up. But maybe we are a little good luck charm. You never know. Hey, listen. Yeah, a little sprinkle, a little dust. Yeah. A little tater. A little tasty tater of the commercial break.
Starting point is 01:07:42 They said, well, they've put in their time. They've done their penance. Let's go ahead and give them an arena tour. They've been on a commercial break. Exactly. They've been in purgatory for long enough. Come on out, kittens. Listen, there are influential people that listen to this show.
Starting point is 01:08:01 I just know it. And who those people are, I don't know because they won't communicate with us, but I'm sure of it. I know it. Jared Ranere Sometimes I listen to other shows and I go, hey, we talked about that. That must have been because we talked about it, they talked about it. That's such a big ego. All right. Desbishop.net of all people on YouTube. And now we know why it's called of all people. Yeah, I do love that. Because of all people to be with Hannah. At the award show. Yeah, it's Des Bishop.
Starting point is 01:08:31 But he is a silver haired fox. I do have to say that. He's just as good looking on that camera as he is on the other camera. He's good looking on camera in general. I wish I had a touch of like that, you know, that silver haired fox thing going on, but I haven't gotten silver hair yet but I haven't gotten silver hair yet.
Starting point is 01:08:45 I haven't gotten any hair yet. I'm hoping that shows up anytime soon. I was thinking about doing the follicle replacement. You were? No, please. Well, if you do, you know who you gotta call. Frankie B. Yes, of course. Waiting for those follicles to jump out of my head,
Starting point is 01:09:02 reproduce themselves. I wish Frankie would make a new video so we could check in on his hair. I know. But, you know. It is like the last one we did, it was long. Yeah, but that was, uh, yeah, you're right, you're right, but he had it slicked back, you know. Because he said he was balding on the top.
Starting point is 01:09:18 So I think we have to see the top of his head. Frankie, can you do drone shots of your head? If you have a drone, you can fly around your house and give us some head shots. We'd appreciate it. All right. TCBpodcast.com. That's where you go. More information about the show, all the show notes with the links to the guests information, to the YouTube special for Dez, all that stuff is available on the website, tcbpodcast.com. All the audio, all the video of our guests and selected episodes are up there.
Starting point is 01:09:47 We would appreciate it if you would go and take a gander. Also, you can get your free TCB sticker. Now available, hit the contact us button on the website, give us your physical address and we'll send you a sticker, no problem. No must, no fuss, we're happy to do it. Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok.
Starting point is 01:10:04 And we'd love it if you would dial us up, 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Text us, call us, leave us a voicemail. We would love to hear from you, so many of you doing that, and we'd appreciate it with even more communication. Certainly. Also, Chrissy and I are making- Certainly.
Starting point is 01:10:24 Certainly. Happy to do it and I are making... Certainly. Certainly. Happy to do it. Of all people. Of all people. Of all people. Also, Chrissy and I will be making a big announcement coming up in the next couple of weeks about live shows, so stay tuned. Yeah. I don't know why I said that. I'm so excited.
Starting point is 01:10:39 I should have just told them where we're going. YouTube.com slash The Commercial Break. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you, Des Bishop, thanks for coming on.
Starting point is 01:10:52 Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, Goodbye. Goodbye. I'm gonna be a good boy. That's my opinion!

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