The Commercial Break - TCB Infomercial w. Felipe Esparza

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

Bryan & Christina sat down with comedian Felipe Esparza before the holidays to chat all things food, fun and Atlanta Jazz Clubs! Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. On this episode of the Commercial Break. And right across the street they had the strip club, flashers, flashers, flashers across the street, flashers." The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now! That's my opinion!

Hey there, cats and kittens, and best to you! Welcome to the episode before the episode that officially starts season number six of The Commercial Break. Here's a history lesson. On March 10th, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell made the very first phone call to his assistant, Tom Watson. And do you wanna know what the first thing ever said was?

Speak louder, you dipshit, I can't hear you. And then Watson and Bell went on to figure out how to charge us all a bunch of money to send electrical signals across wires. And when I was born, if you wanted to call a place like England, you'd pick up your physical phone sticking to your kitchen wall, dial zero, and have an actual person help you connect to the phone number across the pond. Then AT&T would charge you $26.56 a minute to say three words, wait six minutes, and

hear three words back. And if you were were lucky you'd be able to understand each other But if it was raining or the sun flares were out or whatever the fuck it's likely you'd hear some weird echo Fuzzy noises or just generally have a shitty connection telephone technology has come a long way Now I can call Timbuktu and it'll sound like that person sitting right next to me. Why am I giving you this lesson, you ask? Well, here's a TCB history lesson. Early on in the show, I made a decision, for better or for worse, to air everything that came out of the microphones. You see, some podcasters like to cut out the ums and the ahs and the breaths, and they

even go so far as to fact check and make sure the things that they are saying are actually true. Not here on the commercial break. When I speak, I'm just as dumb as I sound. So when you hear an episode of the commercial break, there's almost zero editing of the actual content. This is a very long precursor to today's episode, with the incredibly talented comedian Felipe Esparza.

A couple of weeks before the holidays, Chrissy had to take a day off, so Christina joined me in the studio when I interviewed Felipe. And even though we're using the magic technology of 2024, this episode at times sounds like we're making the very first phone call in 1876. We didn't realize any of this until long after Felipe had said goodbye. Then I struggled and striped in my own brain, I tossed and turned and lost sleep, not really, over whether or not I should even air this episode. But Felipe was hilarious, and the conversation is one of the most wide-ranging, weird, and

interesting we've ever had with a guest. So today, on the very last episode of season number five, I'm making the fearless decision to send out to the world the not-so-perfect audio of Christina and I talking to Felipe. I promise the substance is worth it, and I'll tell you right now, some of this episode has been edited because parts of the audio were just unlistenable. That's okay, we'll have Felipe back and we'll get it right the second time. Go to Felipe'sWorld.com to check out all things Felipe Esparza.

He's a former winner of The Last Comic Standing. He's had roles on The Eric Andre Show, Superstore, and has a popular podcast, What's Up Fool? And as you'll learn in the show, he's got a new podcast, all about history. And it would be a shame if I didn't mention that Felipe is on an immense world tour right now. Alright, let's do this. We'll take a short break, and when we get back, Christina and I sit down with the incomparable,

very lovable, Felipe Esparza, and we talk about slaughterhouses. That's right, this episode is not for the squeamish. I'll be back with that interview after this. Did you know that we have a phone number? Well, we do, and you should call us. Nobody's gonna answer, but you can leave a voicemail for us that we may or may not play on the show.

And if that's not the vibe, then just send us a text, okay? Our number is 212-433-3TCB, so get texting and give us something to talk about. Please. We need it. While you're doing that, you can also follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And as always, check out our website, TCB podcast.com for all of our audio and video content. Speaking of video, we are also

posting a full video episodes at youtube.com slash the commercial break. So go watch them, please. Anyway, now let's hear from our sponsors and get back to the good stuff. Hey, I'm Ben Stiller. I'm Adam Scott. And we make a TV show called Severance. On January 17th, Severance is back for season two on Apple TV+, and we can't wait for you guys to see it.

And before the premiere, Ben and I are going to be binging season one and putting out daily recap podcasts. Yep, each weekday beginning January 7th, for you guys to see it. And before the premiere, Ben and I are going to be binging Season 1 and putting out daily recap podcasts. Yep, each weekday beginning January 7th, we'll be dropping an episode featuring exclusive behind-the-scenes tidbits and brilliant insights from our cast and crew and us. Patricia Arquette, Britt Lauer, Zach Cherry, John Totoro, the list goes on. All your favorite Lumen employees, their friends, families, enemies, in your feed every single weekday. And here's the best part. After that, we're gonna keep going.

Tune in weekly as we recap every episode of Season 2. The podcast drops on the same day the episode comes out. It's The Severance Podcast with Ben and Adam. On Apple Podcasts, the Odyssey app, or wherever you get your podcasts. And Felipe is here with us now. Hey Felipe, how are you? What's up fool?

How you doing? Yeah, listen, I don't have any complaints. Of course I could complain, but no one's going to listen. So I have 13 to 20 children. You have, you have children. You have a lot of children, don't you? You have four children? I have 13 to 20 children. You have children. You have a lot of children, don't you? You have four children? I have three. Three of mine and one with my wife, but I'm not the real father.

How old are the children? They're not children. No, adults now. I had them when I was in high school. Oh, God bless you. You're out of the- I've been out since they've been born. What you call, what do people say that, empty nester? I was an empty nester when I was 18. They were out of my life. Oh, man. I wish I could claim the same. I'm in the middle of it right now. So, are the holidays big for you, Felipe? Does everybody get together? Well, I think we're big when I was growing up, when I was growing up as a kid, um, we always spend holidays with our, with our cousins and our aunts and our

grandma. Yeah. We have most of my father's family. They live in Los Angeles, like all of them. I think of all his brothers and sisters migrated to Los Angeles at one time in the late seventies, early seventies. And so all the family we knew

as my father's family so we would go over there and they will kill a pig man or kill a goat really kill it right in front of us and in like they didn't care about the city code or nothing. No, fuck that. It's weird man like we would go to a place where they would slaughter animals in Rose Mead, California, which is only like 35 minutes. And people just have ranches with livestock and we would just go over there and buy goats. I didn't even know because they were going to baptize my brother when he was three and we didn't know we were a slaughter farm.

I'm still affected by it because that's probably why I'm vegan now. Now we were playing with these three goats. I thought it was a petting zoo, because we were kids. And we were just like petting them. And next you know these two guys grab our playful goats and they slit their throats right in front of us. And they run around spraying blood on their necks, crying of course. And we ate them the next day. Yes. So Felipe you learned this lesson early. My father was in like the commodities trading business so he

would like buy a hundred thousand head of cattle, send them somewhere to be slaughtered, package them, sell them, right? That's what he did. Wow, cool job. Yeah, really cool job killing a bunch of animals. He got there when it happened though. So no, but listen, he was there sometimes when it happened. He we spent three months in Mexico when I was 15 years old. He brought us down to see what he did for a living. And he was there doing business. He took us to a slaughterhouse in Monterey.

I think it was. And we saw the cattle alive, and then we saw them chopped up. Like the whole situation, we saw it from beginning to end, and it changed my perception about food altogether, because it can't not. When you actually see that happen,

it's a whole different animal pun intended. Like it's a weird thing. I'm sorry, Zekio the Cows was that little cop broader, like no country for old man, that they slit their throat or they shot them? Yeah, they would shoot, they would zap them into a little lane. And then in that lane, there was an automatic like shot machine and the shot,

they would give them a shot, it would stun them. And then they would hang them up by their back hooves. And then, and I'm not kidding you, I know this is like, Merry Christmas everybody. Wasn't expecting to hear about all of this today. I'm sorry guys. Question of the ham story. Yeah, a guy would come and they call it stiff to stern

and he would just take a machete and he would just slit it down the middle and then everything would fall out and onto to the next and on to the next. This is the first thing in life. The people that are actually doing the slaughtering are not the people that could actually put a sentence and a paragraph together. My dad's first job was also a slaughterhouse. Really?

Yeah, but he calls it the abattoir because he's English. Well, yeah, they call it the abattoir because he's English. Well, yeah, they call the abattoir because he was in the abattoir. I was like, what's that? He goes a slaughterhouse. UnitedHealthcare CEO. I remember the guy's name when we went to Rosemead. His name was Albuatorres. Oh, wow. Maybe that's what he did. You know, clearly I asked about the pig because there were no

cows where we went, but there was a lot of pigs. And I remember the guy shot the pig. With a gun? Yeah, right in the forehead. Like he just, he grabbed them and just shot them and like they put them upside down and then they, they cut it and then a bucket. I remember everything falling down.

I was like four or five watching and then they saved the blood. I remember that I asked my dad, what are they saving that part? And my dad said that that's the stuff they could sell to a doctor to make medicine, I guess insulin. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, insulin for diabetes. That's crazy. Yeah, I mean, listen, you know, if you want, you know, you go to

McDonald's, you have a hamburger, you go to your family, you have the Christmas ham, you do that. There is a whole situation that went into that, A through B. And I think when you see it, there's some, there's some, like you're imparted with some kind of like universal intelligence about how the world really fucking works. A little trauma.

Yeah, a little trauma too. I think you two need some therapy. I got therapy, but I can't get over that slaughterhouse. I just can't get over the slaughterhouse. Are you vegan now? Yeah. People don't believe me because I'm so big. They say, what do we eat, crops?

What do we eat, deep-fried lettuce? Oh, wow. Oh, look at me go, oh yeah, nutter butters and all of those are vegan, so you must eat that all day. Nutter butters are vegan? Yeah, peanut butter must eat that all day. Nutter butters are vegan? Yeah, they're peanut butter. Well that's great news. I love that.

Nutter butters are fantastic. That's one of my favorites, good fucking nutter butter. What is your favorite? Nutter butters are good, man. I got to tell you. Like you said, good nutter fucking butters. I just imagine you with a big cup of milk and stuff it a moment or eating with a spoon That's so on brand for you

Only not milk half and half Serials you crush it up and you read it like a cereal pudding. Yeah Now we're talking. Felipe has video cameras. He has video. I know he's do that, but that will get like, he will get like those sweet potatoes or the, I guess they're called sweet potatoes, right?

He'll just put a piece of aluminum foil and cut up chunks of brown sugar and put it in the oven and take it out and eat it. He'll add extra syrup and then he'll eat it like that. Never like that. One of my favorite things in the world during the holiday season is like the very Caucasian dish of marshmallows on top of yams. Do you know what I'm saying? I know about it. I've never had it. So good. Man, candy jams. Duh. I had that for the first time at my friend's house. And they're Mexican, but they were all born in America.

So they got more of the good food, more of the American Thanksgiving. He made candied ham, and he made candy jams. Yes. And man, that ham, I know we just talked about the slaughter, but that ham, I don't know how they did it, but every piece tastes like candy. It's crazy. Yes. My dad does this too. It's caramelized They put like syrup on they like marinate it and syrup and water sugar water is so fucking delicious It is so good and probably just extraordinarily terrible for you But it is so delicious and there's something about candied yams or yams with marshmallows on it,

caramelized marshmallows, that is just one of my favorite things. And I only have it during the holiday season. It's not like I go and I make a sweet potato with marshmallows every day. I know, but you're not gonna find a street vendor selling that. Yes.

Now there is an idea, it's time it's come. Honestly. Thanksgiving food. You know, before you say Monterey, I saw a street vendor in Mexico, in Monterey, and he had, he was selling baked potatoes like that. Yeah. I love baked potatoes.

And he would put that, that tres leches, that condensed sweet milk over them. Yes. And sprinkle marshmallow, just mix it all up. Oh, that's delicious. That's good stuff. Do you like tres leches? So my wife is Venezuelan, right? So, you know, Venezuelan.

They're there for the first 22 years of her life. So she's really Venezuelan. And one of the things she imparted on me is tres leches. And it's one of my favorite fucking desserts in the world. It's so good. It's hard not to like tres leches. It's condensed milk and sponge cake. I mean, what else is there in life with tresoleches?

Oh, that's good. Is that something that's in Mexican culture also? Yes, the condensed milk, the tresleches, the sweet condensed milk, they put that on everything, but I didn't really start liking it more, so I went to Hawaii and they put in a snow coat. Oh, I've never seen that. Shaved ice with snow coat.

They put like pineapple syrup and then coconut syrup and then they put the white cream over it. Oh my God, that's so good. That sounds good. That smells fucking delicious. Wow. They are little sorcerers over there. Opened my eyes up today.

I mean, a slaughterhouse, a snow cone with sweetened condensed milk. It's a big day. You're giving us ideas for lunch this afternoon. I'm going to shave some ice with some tres leches on it. What is in your household, and I know you're vegan, but when you're household, what is like the one dish you guys cook for the holidays

that you just look forward to every year? We make tamales. My wife was raised vegan by her family. I think they were, I don't know the name of religion, third day Adventist, I think. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. They grew up on all that horrible vegan food from the eighties. Horrible, man. Like she, she, she, they buy, she told me this, She told me this. I think it's called Lorna. Oh my God, they sell vegan franks in a can.

In a can? In a can. So you open it up and there's like four or three vegan franks in there. And then there's another package that has four vegan chicken nuggets. And then you can just break it apart with your hands and you can make, I guess you could put mayonnaise and make tuna or tuna salad or chicken salad or cut it up yeah you're gonna add a bunch of seasoning to it though yeah yeah I made a chickpea salad the other day like the fake tuna salad for my sister she's

vegetarian and um I went in with the garlic powder and the onion powder. I was like, I gotta make this taste good or she's gonna kill me. You know, we found out that the chickpea can, the juice that's inside the chickpea, if you whip it hard enough, it'll turn into a meringue and you can use that as a fake meringue in a meringue pie. No way.

I've seen people use it in cocktails as well. Like on top of a little pisco sour. Wow. Some good stuff. We're learning stuff here in the commercial break that I had no idea. You can take the chickpea juice. It's called aquafaba.

Aquafaba. I'm going aquafaba. Aquafaba, sounds fancy. Yeah. If you put your aquafaba, is it meringue? You put some sugar in it, it becomes sweet. I would assume. It does, because sugar had a whip it.

A lot of work. God, Felipe, you, well, I mean, you're vegan, so you have to have like a bunch of recipes at your disposal, because it's not like you're gonna just drive through somewhere and grab something. You have to have a bunch of recipes ready to go. I don't know about Lorna weenies in a can,

but the chicken nuggets don't sound too bad, the weenies in a can. I know that, I remember also when I was growing up, and you know, when you're single, I remember buying Hormel canned tamales. It was the grossest thing ever, man. It was like a canned Hormel chili, but they make tamales too, but you got to really want them. And you just open the can, and there's three or four tamale steaks wrapped in a wax paper and you got to microwave it. Oh yes bro yes it's like one it comes out and looks like a real fat mozzarella steak but it's it's made it has uh it has corn like a tam, and a sliver of meat inside of it.

No. Just like one little tiny ribbon of meat. Yeah, one line. You know, this reminds me of something. So one of the things that I used to eat when I was single was taquitos by El Paso. I think they have like frozen taquitos, right? Corn and flour.

Now listen, shredded beef, chicken, taquitos. I used to go in on these things. I put five of them, microwave them, put some cheese on them, little sauce, some hot sauce. Did you buy the half gallon guacamole to go with it? Listen, I'm not ashamed to say that your pre-made guacamole, like made the year before, is something that I have had in my life. I mean, I don't know what they put in it, but okay. So I started realizing something during the pandemic. If you go to Publix and you buy those flour taquitos, and then you go to Walmart and you buy the flour taquitos, the difference in

quality is incredibly crazy. They are terrible always, right? I mean, they're terrible for you, but they taste good when you buy them from Publix. When you buy them from Walmart, something's different. They're weird. Such as like an emotional bias you have. I don't think it's an emotional bias. I have this theory that the exact same box, let's say that you're on a big, you know, El Paso's

in the El Paso factory and they're making these and some get rejected because they look different. They have different quality meat. There's bones in one of them, I don't know what happens. I think those go to Walmart. But then they send those to Walmart because the difference in price is like $3 a box. And I'm like, wait, how does Publix get away with, I know Publix is like, you know, the upper upper crust of society, grocery stores, but how did they get away with selling it

for $7.99 when you can buy it for 4.99 at Walmart I thought I was being cost constant yeah and what I realized is no fuck that they're selling the rejects to Walmart because that's how they do it. Tokito rejects. Oh man. Big Tokito is after us. Big Tokito is fucking us. Whenever one time I was like I was really high and I was eating those tacos, the ones you're talking about. The cheaper one was a little cheaper gallon of guacamole and I opened one up.

Don't do that. Danger zone. Yes, I opened one up to see what the meat looked like and it was just a black, round meat patty. Yes. Oh, that's giving like a back to the day. And they rolled it in the taco and I was like, Oh, I found like that kid from Christmas story when he found out that the colder ring was just a commercial. Yes. Yeah. I don't know what possessed you to do that.

Like baloney, Patty black, and that was the beef and it's just a taco. I guess you're not supposed to open them, I guess. But I don't know who to be like shredded meat or something, but no, it was just a black patty. Tomatoes and spices. He had his drink your Ovaltine moment when he opened up. I said in Spanish, eat real tacos. real tacos. So Felipe, you're on a never-ending tour. I saw on your website, you've got dates well into 2025. Are you actually in the middle of the tour right now? Yes, I'm in the middle of the tour right now. I just got back last week from Dublin and England and Amsterdam. I had a show in Dublin and it was canceled. So I was in Dublin already.

So I stood there for three days and I went to Dublin and I did my big show. And then the next day I did a regular show with British comics. Oh, fun. Okay, so this is interesting. So tell me about Dublin. What did you think about Dublin? Oh man, it was a okay, so this is interesting. So tell me about Dublin. What did you think about Dublin?

Oh, man, it was a real, I learned a lot. I learned a lot of history about Dublin. I found out that they had the revolution in 1916 against the British and then they had their own civil war against each other in 1921 to 1922. And I went to the prison where they actually killed most of the visitors of war. It's called Kellenham prison. Yeah. Kilmainham.

Kilmainham, yeah. Kilmainham prison. And I went on a boat ride. I went to the Guinness factory. Oh, nice. That's what I was going to ask you. Yeah. And I went there with my wife, her brother, his three daughters, my friend and my stepson. And they made me a big non-alcoholic Guinness and the foam had my face on it. Oh, they imprinted your face on it with like the foam printer they had? Yeah, they take a picture of you when you order it. And then when you go there,

you can watch your beer being formed to your face. It's incredible. I can send you a video of it later, you want? Yeah, no, please do. I'll text you, I'll get that video. Because I didn't go to the Guinness factory. When I went to Dublin, we went during one of the, you'd think it snows in Dublin, right?

That's the assumption I think, that's the assumption I made. When we went to Dublin, we learned quickly that snow doesn't happen there very often, but it snowed almost a foot and a half the night we arrived. The entire town shut down. So we weren't able to go to the Guinness factory, but it snowed almost a foot and a half the night we arrived. The entire town shut down. So we weren't able to go to the Guinness factory, but Dublin was lovely. I mean, it was lovely. The people treated us lovely.

Everyone was stuck. You know, trucks couldn't get there. We didn't have like food or water at the hotel was scarce and people were, everyone was like coming together to make it a thing. But that Guinness factory is a town. It looks like a town. Like Hershey, Pennsylvania. Yes, exactly. You're right about that big walls and then

inside of the I think that people live there. I think some people live inside of the Guinness factory or like the management or something like that. Why did that? Why did the show get canceled? Oh, we just sold off tickets. Oh, that's a reason. Yeah, we know about that. That's a reason. Yeah. And but then you did a big show in England. Oh, that's a reason. Yeah. We know about that. That's a reason. Yeah. And but then you did a big show in England? Yeah, I did a bigger show in England at the Leicester Theater. Okay. It was

like 200 people. And then the next day I did a small show at a regular comedy club. Like at a, just like a regular. When you go over to Europe, is this your first time taking a leg in Europe or have you done this before? I said my first time doing a leg in Europe, I've been there before, but just to do a one-nighter in Rotterdam, Netherlands. Sure. Yeah, but the crowd at my show were all mostly mostly like european latinos yeah or expats that left mexico they left venezuela to live in in england sure but there were a lot of people from los angeles or

people who moved from los angeles to live in england they all came to my show yeah that's the next show was all brit people, like all British people. Like I had to change words around for that show. Oh, I got it. Mm. Because they don't want- Because they weren't gonna understand. No, in America, we have child support.

And I would talk about child support. In English, it's called child maintenance. Oh, child maintenance. I'm with you. That sounds like a more appropriate word, because that's what you do with children. You maintain them. There's no do with children. You maintain them. There's no supporting them.

You just maintain them. Make sure that they stay alive. But that's got to be exciting to you that you now can go over there and do a leg over in Europe. That must be an exciting part of the career when you can go over there and sustain a couple shows and have some people come out. And there are quite a few expats in Venezuela, you know, in Spain and England and stuff like that. They're moving out of the shit holes.

Yeah. Yeah, man. Some of them were from actually East Los Angeles. I met a Colombian guy in Dublin, actually, no, Dublin. No, I met a Colombian guy at my show. He was there by himself and he had a lot of weed. He was smoking right outside the theater. He didn't care. I talked to him, how did you make it out here? He goes, my wife, she's in the British Navy and I get to go in over

here on her dime. Wow. Nice. Full benefits. He's probably going to be a British citizen already and his wife, she's a Navy officer somewhere and he's enjoying stand-up comedy. He's enjoying stand-up comedy and smoking weed. I love that picture for him. His wife must be proud.

They don't give a shit over there, actually. He's living the life. Yeah, a lot of people smoke weed over there. It doesn't seem to be like that big of an issue to me, actually, when I went over there, I noticed a lot of- I never really thought about it. The smell of weed was in the air, kind of like how it is here in Atlanta. Atlanta.

Have you been to Atlanta a bunch, I'm sure, right? You know, when you said people in Dublin were nice, they are very nice. When we're on a train and there was a sign on a train and they said, report anybody that's being rude and not friendly. Yes. That's cute. So somebody that can say hello, you gotta report them.

You know what, if anybody listening, if you go to Dublin, Ireland, you're not allowed inside pubs wearing tracksuits. Oh. I was wearing a full Adidas tracksuit with Adidas shoes and I tried to get in. They stopped me at the door, mate. They said no tracksuits. And I said, wait a minute, okay, I can see it. And I said, wait a minute, okay, I can see it. A lot of soccer games, people wear tracksuits with colors of their teams, you know, or they might be a drug dealer or anybody who looks, you watch a European movie, all the drug dealers

wear tracksuits. Yeah, that's true. So I had to stand outside at the, we went to the famous bar, the Temple Bar. Oh yeah, the temple bar, sure. Yeah. Huh. Yeah, and so they didn't let you into the tracksuit, but I do think you're right about this.

I think that they have notoriously had issues when teams clash, soccer teams clash. You know, that's the thing they get all upset about over there is when the team loses or wins and they've had riots and people have died. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. There's been whole wars fought over local soccer teams. I went to a soccer game in England. It was Crystal Palace versus Newcastle.

Oh really? Oh fun. I was in South London. That's where the stadium is. I was sitting with Crystal Palace. I think that's where they shoot that show, Ted Lasso. Oh, is it? Oh yeah. Yeah, I think they do. I think you're right about that. Yeah, and man, it was different from watching an NFL or a baseball game. It was fast. And you know what? They don't allow you to take your beer into the stands. Oh.

Is that because you'll throw it? People go crazy. People are crazy sober already. So during half time, everybody goes to the beer and they start chugging beers, man. And no, they don't sell like nachos, man. They sell mince pie. Oh, I love a mince pie. She's from Scotland. She's from Scotland. So she had a vegan mince pie and I tore it up. It was delicious. Was it really good? It was like dark black meat and they give you this sauce. I think that the meat they put in the taquitos over here.

They have really good vegan options in the UK. Yes, a lot of vegan options. They have such good vegan options in the UK. Yes, a lot of you have such good vegan options. I went to a steak house in Dublin and they had like G-Bone steaks, like those big chuck steaks. They have pieces of the cow outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they actually had a vegan steak. They had a steak made out of a mushroom, a lime, main mushroom. Oh, nice. So it was like red, this fat, and they made it look like, my wife said it tastes like steak

because she never had steak before, so she had to compare it with. So I guess it tastes like steak, if you forgot what steak tastes like. Yeah. Yeah, but lions made it much, some of those mushrooms, you can't't they do have like a steaky Mommy some might say oh mommy

When you went to that soccer game like it's a different atmosphere over there rowdy man, I see any women Besides my wife and my sister and all danger they get crazy over there. It's crazy man. That's like, um, I don't know the park like I don't know the parking situation man over there But it seemed like everybody took a bus and they were screaming in the bus and they were singing their uh, their anthem They're at the Crystal Palace. That's the one thing that I love about, I mean, there's a lot of things I love about Europe, but one of the things I love about Europe, and I think they've gotten so right, and I know that they have history on their side, but they don't rely on a vehicle for

everything. You can literally get a bus to anywhere. The villages are small, they're walkable. And if the bus says it's gonna be there at 8.01 in 30 fucking seconds, it's there at 8.01 in 30 fucking seconds. Here in Atlanta, the Marger says it's gonna be there at 8.01, you don't know if that's AM or PM.

You have no fucking clue what time it's gonna be there. And that's just, we just don't have great transportation here. I know, man. Whatever the bus companies anywhere in America to put up, leave a sign that says right on the bottom, doesn't run on Sunday. Just tell us. Yeah, just let us know. Exactly. That's all we're asking. A little heads up.

You're so right about this. Yeah, it's Big Bus and Big Tiquitos. They're after us. Big Tiquitos. Oh, and Atlanta, I went to a restaurant called Blacksican. Blacksican? Yeah, it's a black Mexican restaurant. It's like Mexican soul food. Was it good? Was it good? It was good.

Wow. Was it good? Was it good? It was good. Ooh. Wow. Catch me there next weekend. And they had like, I think all the regular beef, like the barbecue beef, it was made into a quesadilla. Like you can have like, I don't know, black eyed peas. Wow. Ooh, that's my kind of food.

Black-sican. Yeah, and black-sican. He used to have four trucks and a restaurant, but now he has a restaurant and maybe two trucks. Oh, wow. This does sound like something that happens in Atlanta, Blaxican, because we're so multicultural in this city,

and I see how that's a thing. There's a lot of Mexican folks that live here, people that lived in Mexico or from that descent, and we have a lot of black folks. We've got a lot of good food here. That's why I love Atlanta Atlanta we're such a great hodgepodge of human i know man i did a lot of vegan food over there at um overpriced slutty vegan yeah slutty vegan yeah our answers are for

dollar signs yeah i mean it's good but it's but it's very expensive. Yeah. You know, that's, there's also the Sunflower Cafe. I think is another one. I love that place. I went to that place. It's by, by the old Atlanta punchline, right? That's right. Yep. It's down there in, in Buckhead, I think. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. How often do you come to Atlanta? I used to go there every year to Atlanta punchline. That's the original one. But now they moved to Buckhead at that diner. Yo, yeah, the Buckhead.

But whatever that the original one. OMG. Right next door, they had a 24 hour daycare. Yeah, man. So you could be at the club, man. And then drop out your chicks' baby at that place and then go handle business. That's snowing, man. I love that for us. I want to be on that corner because they have jazz bar, jazz bar, tofu restaurant, a lot of punch line, and some Mexican restaurant with a sharpie, and then

the daycare. And right across the street, they had the strip club, flashers, flashers. Iconic. Flashers across the street, flashers. You know, Felipe, when I was a young guy, that punchline corner was the place to go if you had drugs or you wanted them. That was one of the two reasons you would go to that corner. Let's be honest about it.

A jazz bar in Atlanta does not survive without a little cocaine pushing it along. And those jazz bars were the place, you didn't even have to know anybody. You just walked in and you knew, you could see the guy at the corner of the bar. You knew what he was doing, but all of a sudden you're into jazz.

If you do a little toot, you're into jazz. All of a sudden I'm a jazz musician, I'm a jazz man. Only window for the toots. I ain't talking about the trumpet. I was there having some fun. It was, that little corner right there was rowdy. Punchline Jazz Bar, I forgot what that Jazz Bar, New Orleans Jazz Bar or something like that.

But it was, that was quite the scene. You wouldn't know. Oh man. And I went to, I did a show there with, for American insurance, I'm pretty sure it was big, American family insurance. And I did a show in Atlanta, because American family insurance,

they like to put up a big standup show every year, and they put all the standup in their website. So when people go to the insurance company or they're filling out forms, they can watch Bill Balamy do stand up. Right? So we went there and I didn't know that Atlanta was a lot of gay people.

Huge, huge. Cause we were not, cause when we got there at the hotel, it was nothing but man, like I tripped over a dick, but there was no, there was no, there was no women. But we got invited to an after hour at this club. Bro, that was the most expensive club ever, man. It was called the Pulse or the Volt or the, or the, or the, or the Compound. I don't know what it's called

It's an old vacant car lot they used to be a car lot $1,500 For a bottle service I didn't get it. I'm only rock got it But there was a big line to get in and everybody that was or they were ordered They were making you get bottle service when you came in and I saw Tony Rock walking with two bottles Cuz he wasn't sharing and I and they like It was a big line for VIP which is real long and then the general admission was just as long

But if you wanted to buy bottle service right away, they just let you right in was just as long, but if you wanted to buy a bottle of service right away, they just let you right in. That's it. And I saw a police officer, the guy, the Atlanta police officer, he was the size of a regular linebacker in the NFL. And he was fighting, he got into an argument with another person that was like a regular size defenseman from an NFL. And they were both yelling and man, that cop, he took out that extended,

the extended metal baton. And I saw him, I saw him from the, from the hotel van. We're about to park and I saw him take it out and started beating that guy in the right places, you know, like a real cop if you want to really beat you up he'll hit you on the elbows the wrist fingers kneecaps and the ankles and that way nobody will see it you know that was like just a regular beating like I'm gonna let you get off I let you off easy on this one but they want to murder you and he'll hit you in the face the eyeballs so the thing I hit in the elbows, both elbows,

so he couldn't swing no more. And then he took one to the kneecap, and he got down, and he took one to the shoulder, and then he didn't arrest him. No. Honestly, it's like you've lived here. Yeah, it's like you know all of our secrets. You've had all of the Atlanta experiences.

Atlanta. you've lived here. Yeah, it's like, it's like, you know, all of the Atlanta experiences. Yeah, a PD is not to be trifled with. That's wrong, man. Like when they say like, it's a good old boys. It's a good old boys. The good old boys and in Atlanta, the police up I mean, listen, the police officers got hard work to do, right? I agree with that. But they ain't fucking around. You don't fucking around. And a lot of PD, not just like a Ali PD where some guy woke up and saw chips or TJ hooker. I want to be a cop. A lot of PD

is someone who's already mad because he didn't make it to the NFL. Yes. Yeah. Right about that. Yeah. And he's too smart to be a regular bouncer somewhere. Yeah, but too dumb to be anything else besides a cop. Yeah, not a cop. He played, he was a star linebacker in high school, but he just couldn't make it past college. But, you know, and he put, so he's putting his big prowess to work.

And you know compound, which you don't know about because you're a little too young for that, but compound was a huge deal. And he's so right about this. It was really well known that mainly tourists and people who had just had a lot of expendable money, mainly, you know, rich old white guys would go in there and they would force you, if you wanted to get in the door,

you're gonna have to pay not just the cover charge of 50 or 75 bucks, but you're gonna have to buy a bottle. That's the way to get in the door, you're going to have to pay not just the cover charge of 50 or 75 bucks, but you're going to have to buy a bottle. That's the way you get in the door. And then once you got into compound, if you knew somebody, somebody at a table, once you got into compound, half the time, the place was half empty. And they kept it that way. They kept people outside to make it look like there was a bunch of people waiting to get in and they would just sell you thousand dollar bottles.

It was fucking insane. How strange. But you know, that's the club business in general, I think a lot of times that's the way it works. You gotta make your money somehow, right? Yeah, you gotta be a little bit to be in there. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I went there twice, I think.

Once for a bachelor party, I was not paying, but somebody else paid and it was a lot of money. And then the second time, we actually had an office across the street and the people who, so like the head bartender, he gave us a pass that we could go in and whatever. But I only went once, even though I could get in, I only went once because I only found it interesting once.

All right, Felipe is on tour from now. When are you, how many dates are you doing on your new tour? Probably like 50, we're gone every week. 50, you like to travel? I love to travel, man. I come from a family of seven kids. I couldn't wait to get away from them. Whenever my family would go on a trip and they would say, who wants to stay? I look at their hands. Okay, I'll stay alone. I'll stay home alone.

Yeah, you're like, perfect, my plot. I grew up in a big family too, and I feel that. I think the people who grow up in big families are the people who end up needing a lot of alone time because you just grew up in all that chaos. It's like for five fucking seconds, can I get some peace and quiet? Yeah, man.

And I sit alone on the couch. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing like it. My dad used to say, sit and ponder your navel. That's what I'd like to do. Yeah. That's why I do a bit about how I said home alone only works with a real rich white family.

Because if you're rich, you're never alone. Because even if you're left alone, grandma will be sleeping somewhere and you got to take care of her now. That's it. And the whole movie will be you trying to kill grandma. That's the truth. True. Felipe is on tour.

You can buy tickets now at Ticketmaster or the website. What's the website address, Felipe? Felipeworld.com. Okay. And we'll put that link right in the show notes below. We'll also put a link to Ticketmaster to buy those tickets directly. Lots of cities probably coming to one near you. When you come to Atlanta, we would love to see you Felipe.

We'll come in and say hello. Send us the video with the phone. I'd love to see you. I will. I'll send it to you. Okay. I'll send you an email and you can respond to it. Felipe, such a pleasure.

Oh, also bad decisions on Netflix if you want to go see some of his work. It's a great special. I watched it last night. Congratulations on all the success, Felipe. And we please come back and visit us. We'd love that. Thanks for having me, man. I'll take you to Blaxican. Yes. If you come to Atlanta, I'll take you to Blaxican. How's that? Thank you, man. This was fun. Yeah. Blaxican and compound. It's a night. Massacre and massacred animals and then the compound.

Yes. Thank you, Felipe. We appreciate it. Happy holidays, brother. Happy holidays. Happy Kwanzaa. Yeah. Merry Christmas.

Thank you. That was fun. I have a wild idea. Go to our Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then Go to our Instagram and follow us at The Commercial Break and then go to our TikTok and follow us there at TCB Podcast. And then go to our YouTube, youtube.com slash The Commercial Break and follow us there. And then text us at 212-433-3TCB

and tell us that you followed us on all of those other places. And then go to our website, tcbpodcast.com and browse, I guess. Well, those are all the ideas I have for today. So see you tomorrow. Bye.

And if you made it this far, I am super proud of you. Super proud of you. No fault of Felipe's. That audio was at times, uh, pretty rocky. And I swear to god we pay for like the best interview interface software supposedly ever in the world and it just fails us miserably sometimes. But that's okay, technology has never been our strong suit here at the commercial break anyway. Alright, all of Felipe's shit is available at FelipeWorld.com. Tickets to his tour, links to his specials, his social media, his podcast, and his ever-growing library of YouTube videos.

The guy is prolific, and he's fucking hilarious. He is a favorite here at this household, and I think once you get turned on to him, you'll figure out why. Also, I am going to post on social media that video of his face actually being put on a pint of Guinness. You won't believe it. The things they're doing with technology these days, yet I can't make a phone call to Felipe without hearing myself in triplicate. You think I'm fussy about this situation?

You think? Anywho, I want to thank very much Christina for joining me in studio to tackle this one with Felipe. Chrissy and I, with Christina, back in studio tomorrow. You will hear from us as we start Season Number 6, the fifth year of the commercial break. 256,000 hours of this dumb show, with zero end in sight. And while we're talking about this dumb show, do us a couple of favors. First, follow us on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free on the Odyssey app.

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We won't ask for anything in return, just go to tcbpodcast.com, hit the contact us button, drop down menu I want my free sticker, give us your physical address, and we promise we'll send it to you before season 10 starts. Also, you can find all the audio and the video right there on the website. So if you're just a browser kind of person, if you like to browse, if you don't want to go to any of the applications, you just want to browse shit, Safari, Chrome, Yahoo if you're nasty, then go to tcbpodcast.com. No must, no fuss, no worries, no furries, we'll take care of you there also. Alright, you'll hear

from us tomorrow on the 675th episode of the commercial break for the start of season number 6. Until then, I must tell you that I love you, I'll say best to you, and I will say, I do say, and keep on niggin'