The Commercial Break - TCB Infomercial w. Maz Jobrani
Episode Date: August 27, 2024Episode #589: Bryan & Krissy are joined by comedian Maz Jobrani…and he is certainly NOT a jabroni! Two old bald heads passing in the night Bryan was addicted to Clubhouse The quantum witch does... a little magic Maz Jobrani! The Olympics (we can’t escape Bryan’s zeal for this) The Friday late crowd Drunk Trump heckler at a Maz Jobrani show Iranian comics Feeling old Maz’s early roles West Wing Tiktok Long form→short form→long form He’s dancey on stage! Hours of content Kid slang Aggro political messaging Getting a little political Making fun of our nation’s leaders Special Guest: Maz Jobrani Watch “The Birds & The Bees”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtKhIhSgy78 Follow Maz on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mazjobrani/?hl=en Maz On Tour: https://www.mazjobrani.com/live/ Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thecommercialbreak/ https://www.instagram.com/bryanwgreen/ https://www.instagram.com/tcbkrissy/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@tcbpodcast Visit our website: https://tcbpodcast.com/ CREDITS: Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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By the way, I'm so sorry that Tehran was making fun
of your hair, this is bullshit, okay?
Just because we're bald. Look at you beautiful bald guy. Look at this
Tehran with his hair
Bullshit That's bald people. Come on. We got something. Any other bald people? It's just me and you
You there you go. There you go. Look you look you look fucking great, man
Show that head. You know what I'm saying?
Fucking, we're bald.
These guys shampoo, fuck you.
Fucking shampoo.
Bullshit.
I'll be honest, no, I'll be honest with you guys.
I still shampoo, I swear to God.
I swear to God.
You know why?
I swear, in the hopes, I swear, in the hopes,
every time I shampoo, I hope that like,
the new shampoo that I try just grows a lip, just one.
I swear, I go like this and I come out,
I'm like, I think, it's growing, it's growing!
["The New Shampoo"]
On this episode of The Commercial Break.
You gotta film a one hour comedy special,
put it on HBO, people discover you, your career takes off. Then I go, a few years later, they go, the commercial break. I go, now this thing, I take three seconds of the one minute you put on a TikTok, people just gotta be, create things up.
And I said, I tell my son, I go three seconds,
I don't even know what to say.
All I can say is hello, goodbye.
And my son goes, that's perfect.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
["The Commercial Break"] Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green.
This is the Dorn into my Dakota.
Kristin Joy Hoadley.
Best to you, Kristin.
And best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Thanks for joining us today.
TCB Infomercia with Maz Gibran.
Very excited.
Okay, I'll tell the story now because I don't want to tell it while he's here because I
feel a little bit embarrassed about it, but I'll share how I know Maz Gibran. This was an episode so many years ago
I don't even know when it was and I probably touched on it since but Maz Gibran and I spent a long night together
At an exclusive event
Did we oh that bald head
Two bald heads rubbing in the night
Did we? Oh, that bald head.
Two bald heads rubbing in the night.
Yeah, two old bald heads touching in the middle of the night,
passing in the night.
Maz Jabrani is a very funny standup comic
and actor quite frankly,
he's done a lot of acting also in his life.
He's in one of the best indie comedy movies
I think has been made and that is Jimmy Vestwood.
And so it's a take on him being Iranian. Go watch it. You can find it. It's lots of places.
It's like from 2015 or something. Why would you need to know the year? Jimmy Vestwood with a V,
not Westwood, Vestwood, V-E-S-T-W-O-O-D. Okay. So Chrissy and I are just at the beginning of our podcast.
We were in our infancy.
Infancy.
We were maybe 28 episodes, 29 episodes in.
We were, I was, I was, not Chrissy.
Chrissy smartly stayed out of this one.
But I went headlong into Clubhouse, the audio social application that blew up during the
pandemic.
The pandemic had just started because we started this
week, a week after the lockdowns started. So, we started the podcast, not the podcast. We did not
start the pandemic. That was Maz's fault. We'll ask him about that. He's Iranian. We'll ask him about that.
So, we are, I am on Clubhouse, probably a month or two after we start the podcast, I get invited
to Clubhouse.
It was an exclusive invitation.
It was an exclusive invitation for me and two and a half million other people.
I remember you saying to me like, I can get you an invitation.
Oh, you had to have an invitation.
And I got on there and I was like, I can get you an invitation. Oh, you had to have an invitation. And I got on there and I was like, and?
You know, so Alison, my friend said, have you heard of Clubhouse? I got an invitation. I think I can
get you one. And I was like, an invitation? This sounds exciting.
I know. Well, of course, when there's an invitation and you don't have it.
Yes. She's like, they're saying it's the new podcasting and I'm saying, well, I'm new to
podcasting. So I'm going to go to another place. Okay, cool. But I was interested. And I admit, Clubhouse
had an addictive quality to it because I literally spent days on end. I did not have a crystal
meth habit, but I should have. Someone would ping me into that room at three in the morning
and I'd be there. I'd wake up and I'd be like sneaking off and ask her to be like, why you go? We have a two month old child.
And I'd be like, clubhouse. This is the room. This is the room that's gonna get me the note.
This is the room that's gonna bring all the listeners. This room. And there'd be like 12 people in the room all high on something.
Talking nonsense.
Conspiracy theories. I don't know. Anyway, clubhouse becomes a thing.
I get an invite from Allison. Then all of the sudden they're Clubhouse becomes a thing. I get an invite from
Allison. Then all of a sudden, they're giving like 20 invites to everyone who got an invite.
So, it became unexclusive really quickly. But, you know, millions and millions of people,
I think 20 million people in like a three month period joined Clubhouse and blew up.
Yeah, it was the fastest growing, I remember reading about it.
Social media ever.
Yeah.
Yeah. And then the fastest dying. Blue agrees.
Yeah, Blue agrees too.
The mention of Clubhouse and Blue's like, I gotta get some sleep.
That's Blue would lay at my feet for hours on end while I was doing Clubhouse.
So okay, so Clubhouse.
Then all of a sudden, we're not even on Clubhouse for like two months.
And then all of a sudden, the Whispers campaign a Whisper campaign for this thing called Fireside.
Fireside, have you heard about it? It's going to be the new Clubhouse. The new Clubhouse
is Fireside, but it's like HBO. If Clubhouse is like UPN, then Fireside is going to be
HBO and they're going to give you money and all the sponsorships and all this other stuff.
And I was like, oh, and then-
To be fair, it was backed by Mark Cuban, and still is.
And still is backed by Mark Cuban.
Yeah, and so that's a big name.
It's a big name.
And somebody we like.
Yeah, hey, listen, I like, you know,
whatever that show is short-tang.
He's been successful.
He's had a run.
Therefore.
He's doing okay, except for that doji coin,
as President Trump would say, doji.
Dog with a knee, doji coin, as President Trump would say, doji. Dog with a D, doji.
So then lo and behold, an invite comes into my inbox,
into the general inbox of the commercial break.
We like the commercial break.
We want you over at Fireside.
Meet with the CEO, Fallon Fatemi.
And I did.
And she had a pitch.
And man did that pitch just, my eyes glazed over.
I had stars
literally blowing out of my asshole.
I remember having the, having the, being in on the, maybe it wasn't the first pitch, but
the second pitch.
It was the second one. Yeah, yeah.
And I mean, they had a well-run machine over there.
They did.
And she's super smart. And you know Mark Cuban is.
Oh, no doubt about it.
And so there was a lot of buzz around it. It was supposed to be a mix between, you were
going to let the people, the listeners interact with you, and it was
kind of a self-contained podcast where you could do video and audio, and push it out
to other RSS.
It was like a podcast with a Clubhouse feature of interaction.
And, and they were going to choose the creators who would be able to be on there.
Like Clubhouse, anybody could start a room, which was part of why it became so successful. So they took that
part where you get successful out of fireside.
Well, they were trying to cut out like hateful, hate, hate things.
Yeah, they didn't want a lot of bullshit and trash and they don't want people opening
up rooms at 3.30 in the morning for conspiracy theories. They wanted it to be more of like
appointment listening or streaming or whatever you want
to call it.
Okay.
Great.
Wonderful.
So very quickly, I become embedded in the fireside kind of group.
And then, I don't know, two, three weeks after we had just been introduced to fireside, I
get an invitation from Fallon to go to a dinner, like an exclusive dinner at one of the podcasting
conferences. And Mark Cuban-Mayor may, at one of the podcasting conferences.
And Mark Cuban may or may not be one of the guests
at the dinner.
And so I had no intention of going to this podcast
conference because we were brand new.
I didn't have enough money to go to the podcast conference.
I didn't care that much.
I didn't know what I was getting myself into.
But I got convinced, my wife and Alison,
a couple other people, you must go to this dinner.
Blue agreed then too.
She said, get the fuck out, stop that clubhouse bullshit, get on fireside, so one hour a day
instead of 12.
So I ran up to Nashville.
I checked into the hotel room, went straight to the dinner, and Mark was there with Maz Jabrani, who was going to be the
interviewer on the keynote address at this conference a couple days later. So, Maz and
I got to know each other a little bit, one night, you know, a little bit.
That's the night you spent together.
We spent together. We were hugging and cuddling and doing what men do.
Having drinks.
Yeah, doing what men do, having drinks and texting my wife, obscene things. And then a couple of
days later, he gives his keynote address, or Mark and Fallon are interviewed by Maz
on stage, and Maz drops my name a couple of times. I guess because I might have said something
interesting that, whatever. Anyway, so this is how I know Maz Gibranee. And ever since
then, I have followed Maz. I find it to be very funny. He is. He's hilarious. His social media is fucking hilarious. He's been in the game for a while.
He's a seasoned pro. And yeah. And so when the opportunity came to get Maz on the show, of course, we jumped at it and
MazGibranee.com is where you can go to get tickets to his tour, which is never ending.
He's a journeyman.
He's always out there on the road.
He's super successful, so he sells out rooms all over the place.
And last check, he has dates through 2025, so if you are somewhere close to a major city
or a secondary city, he's coming, so please check out those tickets.
Also, Birds and Bees is his new special on YouTube.
Absolutely free,
no charge, no shipping and handling. This guy will let you watch his comedy for free.
It's an hour and 15 minutes long. I guarantee you're going to be laughing. And then he's
an author. He's been in so many television shows and movies. And I guarantee that if
you look up Maz, you're going to know who he is. You have seen some of his material
because he's just one of those comics, very prolific.
So let's do this.
Why don't we take a break
and Maz is going to be here with us now
because that's what we do.
We go into the awkward transition phase.
You listen to a couple of commercials.
We see if we can technically make this thing work.
Sprinkle dust, the quantum witch does her magic.
A little bit of Maz Gibroni,
some Rachel Platten and Riverside and wha-bam!
Sorry, out of order.
Sorry, you're technically inept.
Please update.
I've been telling you for months to update, update, update,
but you didn't listen, did you?
So now wha-bam!
You have to do this interview twice! That's a different story for a different day. Our apologies to the Platten team,
but we'll figure it out. Okay, so let's do this. Let's take a break and we'll be back with Moz.
Let's do it.
Right after this.
Let's do it. Right after this.
Okay, you guys, I have an idea.
Why don't we take a break?
Gotcha.
This is the break.
And you already know when you hear my sexy voice, it's time to whip your phone out and
follow us on Instagram or skip the ads at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB
podcast.
And of course, you know, if you want to get involved, you can always give us a call or text us at
212-433-3TCB. That is 212-433-3822. And guess what? I
finally have information on TCB live. So the links are in the
show notes. But let me tell you right now, you can come see us
at Dania Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th,
or at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th.
It's gonna be fab!
So go buy your tickets and we'll see you in Florida!
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Maz, thanks for joining us.
We really appreciate it.
How are you, my friend?
I am well. Life is good, just busy touring. How are you guys doing?
We're good.
We're doing great.
We're doing great. We're Olympic crazy here at the commercial.
I know. I hate it. I can't stop watching it. There's so much to see. It's so entertaining.
It is entertaining.
Do you have any change to watch?
I've been touring and I've had a lot going on, so every time I sit on a couch, I'll turn
it on.
I was used to every time I sit on a couch, I turn on the news.
Yes.
Now I'm like, all right, let me get past the news and get into the Olympics.
And then depending on what it is, some of the events are amazing.
They're all amazing.
I mean, I would say when I watch badminton watch Badminton, it makes me wanna swat flies.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
It's that Badminton, I don't know,
they play it so fucking fast and furious.
And I remember playing Badminton
and I don't remember us being that aggressive.
And ping pong too, that ping pong is crazy.
Well, the fast, I watched a rock climbing the other night.
And I mean, they go up in like four seconds.
Speed climbing.
Yeah, the speed climbing.
Yeah. Yeah, so speed climbing. Yeah.
Yeah, so much, so many interesting things
and things that you didn't like realize like,
and they were doing the team synchronized swimming
and I was just seeing highlights online.
And I don't know if you saw like the US,
I don't know, I think it was the US team.
One of these teams that was like
doing the Michael Jackson moonwalk.
The US team, yes.
That's insane.
Insane, man.
So on one of the video,
like on one of the YouTube channels,
they have cameras that are underwater
and cameras that are above.
So they show you like a split screen.
This girls are underwater.
I saw that.
I don't know what seems like 18 minutes at a time.
I don't know how long it is,
but it seems like 18 minutes at a time.
And I can't swim from one end of a pool
to the other underwater.
And I'm like, Jesus Jones, it takes a end of a pool to the other underwater. And I'm like, Jesus, Jones, dude, takes a lot of training.
And the camera work and everything too. I just, I just did shows in Houston where,
you know, as comedians now we set up our cameras and we film ourselves so that we can get crowd
work and post it on social. So at the club, I just got one of the guys working there. I was like,
listen, when I go on stage, all you gotta do is hit play, you know, hit record, just make sure that I'm in focus and we're good to go.
Yeah.
And I just gave the stuff to my editor.
My editor is like, you're not in focus.
And I'm like, these guys are filming stuff underwater.
We can't get one shot in focus.
Come on, man.
My son is like fascinated on the track how they have that little thing that sits on the
track right next to it.
And it follows it as fast as it goes.
And he's like, what's that, Dad?
And I'm like, it's an actual camera.
And they could do it in focus,
and then they can figure out who won,
whose chest came across the line first.
And you're so right, we've been doing this podcast
for almost five years,
and we still don't know how to center ourselves.
We still have no idea.
We're always like, are we off?
Are we off, are we in center?
Are we off?
I like it. And by the way, that, speaking of photo finishes, We still have no idea. We still feel that we're always like, are we off? Are we off? Are we in the center? Are we off?
I like it.
And by the way, that, speaking of photo finishes, that photo finish, I had to go read about
it because I was like, wait a minute, the other guy's toe is ahead of his toe.
Oh yeah, the 100 meter.
Yeah.
And it's the torso.
It's not the toe.
It's like, oh my God.
I did not know that, Maz, until I actually read about it because I was also confused.
I was like, wait, the other guy came in first.
I thought it was whichever body part touched
and that's why they kind of lean their heads in
and know it's all about the torso.
And I don't know, I feel like the Paris Olympics,
you know, there's a lot, we've all been alive for a minute
and we've seen a lot of Olympics,
but I feel like the Paris Olympics to me
is the most engaging.
Yeah, in a long time.
They're doing a good job.
Yeah, except the Atlanta Olympics
where I spent most of it drunk.
But also you gotta realize,
you gotta realize that somehow the timing works out for us.
So like when they have evening stuff, it's a daytime here.
And now you've got NBC and then you got Peacock
and then you got USA.
Like they got so many places that are covering it.
So I think it might be like this from here on out,
unless once in a while for us,
when they've got those like the,
when the hours are so wacky where you're like,
you know, three in the morning, everything's happening.
The China one was a little confusing
cause I don't think you can watch anything.
It was all at two in the morning.
It was like 12 hours behind us.
Maz, you're an incredibly successful standup comedian,
been doing this for a minute.
And I was looking on your website this morning
and I see you have dates out until February, 2025 too.
So you're like the journeyman, right?
You're always doing this.
You're always on the road.
And how do you feel about that so many years later
after doing this?
Do you love the part of it being on the road?
I know you have a family at home.
I can't imagine what my wife would think about.
She'd probably like it actually.
She'd be like,
I'm not this asshole.
Get out of here.
No, it's, you know,
the actual act of being on stage is fantastic.
Being away from home, being away from your family,
being away from your routine all that stuff
Definitely gets old the long the longer you do it
You know in my mind I go well Even if I were home unless they're working on a TV show or something I'd be working crazy hours, so you got to keep working
So I do feel lucky that I get a chance to go on stage
As soon as like you know we have like the intro music hit You're on stage and now you're like, oh, this is fantastic. You know, we again I just did in Houston
We did five shows over the weekend
Yeah, you did two Friday to at the clubs you do two Friday you started one Sunday, right? Yeah. Yeah, so
It's just like like I said every time I'm on stage and and like, you know
Let's say you have a you have two shows on Friday for example.
Friday's like, this is actually a great example. Usually Friday late show is the worst crowd for comedians because people are tired, they're drunk, they've already gone and eaten and all that.
As a matter of fact, I think Steve Martin, when he wrote his book about stand-up comedy, he said one of the reasons he quit comedy was the Friday late crowd because he said it was too much. But just to show you how we were
surprised this past weekend, our Friday late crowd was one of our best crowds of
the weekend and it was fun for me because they were so fun. They had so
much energy, they were giving me energy and I had a great time. And then also
because you know I like to talk to the audience as the show
goes on, that makes it fun for me.
If I were just up there, you know, just reciting the same thing over and over
again, I might not be as into it.
But once I'm feeling like we're having a dialogue and I'm like, let me tell you.
And now I'm doing a bit, but I'm talking to a group that I feel is interested in it
and they've been talking to me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So all that stuff is
pretty pretty lucky stuff. You're a very conversational comic and I and I like
that about you and the crowd work is interesting. I watched a reel where Maz
said something which I didn't see in the reel necessarily, but said something and
somebody walked out on you and he's like not funny, not funny. Yeah and I didn't see in the real necessarily, but said something and somebody walked out on you.
And he's like, not funny, not funny.
And I don't know what you said to him
because I don't think the real caught up,
like it started before whatever you had interacted.
But you were like, come on back, man.
This has never happened to me before.
Like, come on back.
You were begging him.
But in a way that wasn't like snarky,
it was earnest and organic and sincere,
you were like, wait, wait, we can talk it out.
And I just, I found that to be really engaging.
I don't know, that reel really got to me because,
you know, most comics was, ah, fuck off, dude,
see you later, you know?
It gets more and more, whatever it is.
I gave up on the like confrontational.
So early on in Trump's first presidency,
I was doing material about him and some audience member
got mad and then we started arguing
and then it just derailed the whole show.
And I said, you know what?
I'm not gonna do that anymore.
I said, I'm gonna Tai Chi these people.
So if you're ever bored, you wanna see another moment
of dealing with a heckler, just put a drunk Trump heckler
and it comes up where this lady towards the end of my set,
she'd been with me the whole show
and then she just starts going,
I'm offended by what you're saying
about our president and I, I cheat it rather than being like, screw you.
I was like, yeah, I was just like, Hey, you know, what a great country
that you can be offended.
I can be offended.
I was like, this is a great guy.
She kept going and going.
I was like, listen, I just got two more Trump jumps.
You don't have to stay.
You could go.
I saw this.
Yeah.
So I try to deal with it like that a little bit
so in that one that you're talking about when the guy got up and left that was just I didn't know why he left the
truth is
The the comedian before me was this younger comedian and he was telling a story of when he was in high school
He got upset at the principal and he and he left his backpack in the principal's office and he stormed out and then and he
Said something the principal or something and then he and then. And then, and he said something to the principal
or something, and then he had to come back a little later
to get the backpack.
He's like, I'm sorry, can I just get my backpack?
And I just, as a comedian, I was standing off stage
and I was like, oh, you know what?
I'm gonna riff off of his joke just to riff
before I even get into my act.
And I was like, you know, I was like, you know,
he was able to leave his backpack.
He's a white person.
He came back and got it.
I go, if a brown person is someone from the Middle East,
if I left my backpack, it's kind of a hacky joke,
but it was just more of a let me land kind of a joke.
I said, listen, if I left my backpack, you know,
who knows who they'd call, you know?
And then there was a-
The bomb squad.
Exactly, and then there was a guy in the front row left my backpack, you know, who knows who did call, you know, the bomb squad. Exactly.
And then, and then there was a guy in the front row who was, uh, also
Middle Eastern December was a really big and had a big beard and he looked
apart even more, I go, could you imagine if this guy left his backpack?
So I'm just riffing, riffing, riffing.
And at some point the guy behind him gets up and he grabs his bottle.
I had a tall bottle of Evian.
He grabs his bottle of Evian, grabs his girlfriend,
they walk out and I go, where are you going?
He goes, I don't like you.
And I was like, what?
I go, first of all, who takes their bottle of water
when they're like, you know what I'm saying?
I pay for it.
Exactly, so to this day, I don't know why he walked out.
It was weird.
You're born in Tehran, moved to California early in life.
Six or seven years old, did I read?
Yeah.
Yeah, I was six years old.
So you're six years old when you move here.
Would it be a stretch to call you maybe the most successful
Iranian comic ever?
I mean, yeah, yeah, you could.
It's interesting because I started doing this now 26 years ago.
When I first started, there was no other Iranian-American comedians.
There was one guy in England, his name's Omi Jalili, who's a friend of mine as well.
He'd been starting around the same time.
But then I was happy to see as the years went by, more and more people started coming in
and coming in.
Now there's a handful of us who are doing it and doing it with different styles even you know there's one guy named Amir K
who had opened for me in the past is very funny he's now on the road with Thiel Vaughn
there's another guy named Max Amini who yeah Max is doing great online and touring again another friend. My opening act is a guy named Tehran. He's half black half Persian
Yeah, yeah, so there's a lot. There's a handful of us coming through. There's a female Iranian comedian named Melissa Shoshahi
She's coming through
Nice from Clubhouse, right? He hit it big in Clubhouse, didn't he? Tehran Tehran Tehran became huge in Clubhouse
She was right Tehran was it was interesting because Tehran became huge in Clubhouse. He was right. Tehran was, it was interesting
because Tehran was my cohost on a podcast
we were doing called Back to School with Miles Jobrani.
We stopped doing him, but he was my cohost.
And it's funny, because when Clubhouse was out,
he was on there all the time.
And I just remember one time
we were supposed to interview somebody,
let's say like 10 in the morning,
and he's not coming on.
And I go on Clubhouse and his name's in a room on Clubhouse.
So then I sent a message. I go, guys, is Tehran in the Clubhouse? And they're like,
they're like, no, he kept his name on his phone on, but he's playing basketball.
And I was like, what the hell's going on? Clubhouse went shit crazy for a while there.
Oh my God, it was wild.
You, me, Leah Lamar, Tyron,
everybody was in that thing 24 hours a day for a minute.
But I wanna get back to the Iranian comic thing.
Do people come up to you, do other Iranian comics,
do they come up to you and say,
hey, we talked to Margaret Cho, who's a living legend.
I was thinking about that too, the parallel.
Margaret told us that she is now at the point in her career
where a lot of comics come up to her and say,
you inspired me as when I was a kid,
or you inspired me to get up on stage,
or I knew I could do it once I saw you do it,
and talk about these things that were organic
and authentic to you and your life.
Do people come up and say that to you?
And they look like her.
Yeah, yeah, no, definitely.
Because again, when I started, like even when I was a kid,
there was, you know, the only person we had
was the Iron Sheik in WWF.
Who was awesome by the way.
He's great.
He did something for me for my special
where he cursed me out, it was great.
Fuck your mother.
Exactly.
He was crazy on the star show.
Yeah, but yeah, I do get that.
As a matter of fact, it's funny because I forget,
you know, as comedians,
one of the things that we do is try to stay young of mind,
meaning like, you know, we're trying to stay current,
we're trying to talk about what's going on.
And quite often you find yourself in a green room
or somewhere talking to a bunch of comedians of all ages,
and you don't realize
How young some people are until they remind you so I just remember I was driving one time
With my opening act and we're driving back and this guy's and he's actually half indian half persian
His name is omid singh and he was uh, every driving and he's like man
I used to watch you when I was in junior high school something like that. He's like
He's like it's so cool that i'm open for you. And I was like wait a
minute, I go how old are you again? He's like I'm 24. I go oh my god I'm like 20
years older than you. This is like 10 years ago. So yeah it's it's you you get that and
and it's flattering and it's also a reminder that you're getting older. If you
have any projects get them done done now. Don't wait.
Yeah, amen.
We feel you.
We're right there with you.
One of the things that Maz is not only a talented stand-up
comedian, but also an actor.
And I want to share this story with you.
So you and I, I've told this story to the audience.
Well, actually, probably to no audience,
because it was right after you and I met
and no one was listening.
Maz and I met at a dinner that we were invited to.
Well, he was part of the crew that was hosting,
but I was invited to a dinner for fireside
with Fallon Fittemi, Mark Cuban, and then Maz Gibrani.
I was about to say Gibrani.
I said Gibrani.
You got it.
Maz Gibrani.
And so Maz was doing a keynote speech
at a podcast conference.
And I was attending.
And so we got to do dinner the night before
and Maz was incredible.
And Maz did it, Maz and I chatted for a while
as did Mark, Cuban and I.
And it was a really neat experience
and kind of an intimate setting, you know,
I don't know, 50 people or 40 people or something like that.
And so a couple of days after that, when Maz goes up on stage and he started, I don't know
if you remember this Maz, but you guys went up on stage and you and I had been talking,
we've been talking about this app, Fireside, and you get up and during the keynote speech,
as you're talking to Mark and Fallon,
you start mentioning my name.
You're like, where's Brian, Brian, Brian Green,
Brian, Brian Green?
You start saying my name like multiple times.
I vaguely remember that.
Why was I saying that?
What was it going on?
Because I don't know.
I think honestly, because I said something
that maybe you found interesting
about Fireside, like I had mentioned something
I found interesting about Fireside,
but you said that, and that led some people in the audience
to think that I was something that I was not.
Like I had some kind of connection with Maz
and Mark and Felon.
So I became like a semi superstar for 30 seconds
until they realized I had nothing interesting to say.
And I always appreciated that. But I have watched The West Wing, and here's kind of the point of the story.
I had watched The West Wing multiple times. Like I've watched it, rewatched it, rewatched it, rewatched it.
And I didn't realize until my third rewatch shortly after you and I met, maybe a month or two after,
that you actually were in an episode of The West Wing.
And I was like, holy shit, is that Maz?
That is Maz.
How did you land that role?
Did you want to be an actor?
I think you have a movie that's fucking hilarious,
Jimmy Vestwood, by the way.
Oh, thanks, man, I appreciate that. You're welcome. I love it, I think it's a movie that's fucking hilarious. Jimmy Vestwood, by the way. Thanks, man, I appreciate that. You're welcome.
I love it.
I think it's a cult classic.
It's one of my favorite indie comedy films.
Oh, I appreciate it.
But did you want to be an actor or a comedian
or did you just want to be an actor?
Yeah, no, I started so back in the day,
I was a big fan of Eddie Murphy's
and then I wanted to be a comedian
and then coming from an immigrant family,
they're like, no, you gotta be a lawyer or doctor.
And so when I was 12, I started doing musicals at school and I loved being on stage.
So I was actually an actor before I was a comedian.
And then throughout high school, I did plays.
And then when I went to college, I did political science to please my parents, but I still
took an acting class.
And so there was a lot of, it was always acting.
And then when I first decided to finally go for it, I did.
My acting was paying for my comedy.
Cause when you first start with standup comedy,
the local clubs will pay you like 10 bucks, 15 bucks
to do 15 minutes, you're not making a living.
So what would happen is I'd get like a guest star here,
guest star there.
The first guest star I got was in Malcolm in the middle.
And then I'd get other ones, other ones, other ones.
So I pop up in things here and there.
And then the West wing one was cool because I got to play the Saudi ambassador
to the United States and have a scene with Martin Sheen and John Spencer.
And, uh, it was really like, you know, hold it in kind of acting and yeah, it was cool, man.
I mean, I'm down for more if, you know,
Martin Scorsese is watching, I'm available.
Right.
West Wing to me is one of the most brilliant television,
dramatic television shows that's ever been made,
certainly one of the best it's ever been written,
but at least the first four or five seasons by Aaron Sorkin. What was it like to be on set with, I just always wanted
to ask you this, what was it like to be on set with Martin Shee? And John Spencer, who
is, in my opinion, the best in that cast and that ensemble cast and the best of the best,
John Spencer's got to be up there.
Well, yeah, you got to, like you believed he was the character he was.
That's always these great actors where you go,
is that guy actually, does he actually work
at the White House?
Is he really the chief of staff that he just brought in?
Almost feels like a documentary.
Matter of fact, just a side note,
if you remember the first Beverly Hills cop,
the guy who plays Axel Foley's
police chief,
who's yelling at him, Axel, all that. I think he was either a mayor of Detroit or he had some, he was an actual...
He was a police chief. I just read this because they put Netflix, you know, Eddie Murphy did a reboot with, on Netflix.
Oh, yeah.
And I read that he had passed away,
but he was like one of the only guys
that wasn't invited back because he,
obviously there was no, where do you send the invitation?
So, but I read that he was an actual police chief
and someone was opining about how he played the role
so brilliantly, probably because he understood it so well.
But also he ended up in some kind of big corruption.
I don't know if you saw that too. He took, yeah, it got all crazy, but, but, but you got to read more about it.
But John Spencer was great.
He and Martin Sheen.
And it was, it was interesting because at the time I was doing a play at the
Mark Taper forum here in Los Angeles.
And I had a small part in the play, but, um, I was able to do this
cause it was a one day guest star.
You just go and do it.
And of course I'm going in to do a scene with these two legends.
I'm going to be off book, whether they're there, whether they're legends are there
or not, I'm going to be off book because especially as a guest star, you're not
going to show up and be like, Hey guys, just give me a few minutes.
You know, can we run these, can you run lines with me?
So I was off book and then John Spencer was funny because he came up to me and kind of gave me
a nice compliment.
He's like, you know, it's always great working
with theater actors because they come in prepared.
And I was like, yes sir, I am a theater actor.
I have to do a play.
Do you have a copy of the script I could borrow real quick?
Yeah, exactly.
So it was funny.
It was a great turn.
And in a weird turn of kind of art imitates life,
life imitates art,
he has famously has a heart attack in the show.
And a year later had a heart attack and passed away.
Which was, yeah.
In the, John Spencer as the chief of staff
had a heart attack, which then changed his role completely.
And then he actually passed away
while filming the last season of the West Wing from a heart attack,
what they call a widow maker, if you will.
Maz, I've been checking out bits and pieces
of your new special, Birds and Bees,
which is available on YouTube, completely free, by the way.
So go ahead and check it out listeners out there
in the podcast universe.
One of the things you said that I thought was very interesting and resonated with me, and check it out listeners out there in the podcast universe.
One of the things you said that I thought was very interesting and resonated with me
was you said back in the day, they said that if you,
you tell it, they said back in the day,
if you create an hour for an HBO special,
you tell it, I don't wanna take your joke from you.
Well, I'm not gonna tell, I mean, it's basically,
so the current tour I'm not going to tell me it's basically it was so the current tour
I'm doing is different from the what what I did in the birds of the bees. So I haven't
done that birds of the bees material in a while. But the gist of it was how tick tock
and all these new social media sites that come on. They just get shorter and shorter.
I said, you know, when I first started, they said, you know, you got to film a one hour
comedy special, put it on HBO,
people discover you, your career takes off.
Then I go, a few years later, they go,
you got to take five minutes of the one hour
you put on YouTube, people discover you,
career takes off.
Then I go, they said you got to take one minute
of the five minutes, put it on Instagram,
people discover you, career takes off.
I go, now they say you got to take three seconds of the one minute you put on TikTok, people discover you create things up. I go now this thing, I take three seconds of the one minute you put on TikTok,
who does go to be critics up?
And I said, tell my son, I go three seconds.
I don't even know what to say.
I like to say hello.
Goodbye.
And my son goes, that's perfect.
You know, um, so yeah, but I mean, but ironically, some of these apps
now want you to do longer.
And then, and you know, what's crazy about it's like, it's like we are, it used to be,
uh, people would complain about like, oh, there's only a handful of gatekeepers.
You got to, you know, if you want to end up on the network and all that stuff.
Now, of course there's a million places where you can be seen and found, but these
apps also have their own kind of
Chasing the you know, the hamster wheel thing. Yeah, because every once in a while you guys seen it
There's always somebody going like did you hear tick-tock is now doing horizontal videos
So a friend of mine who was doing well on there because you should post videos horizontally on tick-tock and I did and it looks horrible
They just look really small but they were getting views because for some reason
TikTok was like, oh look, we're gonna push it
and get more views.
It was getting more views, fewer comments.
So I'm like, so are they real views or what's going on?
And I was like, you know what, screw it.
I'm just gonna stick with what I know.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, you know, your relationship with social media is good,
I would imagine, because you do get a lot of views
on your social media is good, I would imagine, because you do get a lot of views on your social media.
And, but I get the, I get it in a bigger sense that like,
you know, Chrissy and I start podcasting
and we're trying to grow an audience.
So, you know, we're going to do the things
that we know to do audio-wise.
So Clubhouse comes and then we go do Clubhouse.
And then I spend a million hours in Clubhouse,
almost get a divorce, ignore my children,
probably miss the birth of two of them,
and then Clubhouse just dissipates overnight.
It goes nowhere.
You would text me and be like,
get in my room now, it's 2 a.m.
Get in my room now, Chrissy's like,
I'm not fucking doing that, you do it, you be an idiot.
You chase that dragon.
You're gonna be rich if you just do more Clubhouse rooms.
We're all gonna be rich.
Soon Coca-Cola's gonna be sponsoring every room.
And then onto fireside, and then onto Twitter spaces,
and then onto the next thing, and the next thing,
and I understand that's the nature of the kind of
Silicon Valley, is you gotta always be chasing
the next high, so to speak.
And then it's the same thing with social media,
what's the next big trend?
Put stickers on, do shorter videos, do longer videos.
I just read this morning in like a podcast rag,
the number one way that people discover podcasts,
YouTube, and YouTube is now saying
the longer the video, the better.
Well, that's not what they were saying five years ago.
They were saying, don't make it over a minute,
or you're not gonna get any views.
And it's just insane.
It's hard to keep up with that.
And so I think our kind of our philosophy has become
just be steady Eddie, just do what you know to do. And if I think our kind of our philosophy has become just be steady eddy.
Just do what you know to do. And if you if you win, you win. And if you lose, well, at
least you gave it the best shot you could doing what you know how to do. Stay in your
lane when it's like it's like the stock market, you know, like we all I mean, I'm not an expert.
I can't tell you what's going up when it's going down all that stuff. But for the most
part, if you talk to people who who are supposed to give us advice, they say stay in it for the long run. And that's why
you also should be enjoying it. Now, if you're able to enjoy it and you're able to hit a
sweet spot where you're actually making some income off of it, you won. Now, if you're
able to enjoy it, make some income off of it, and then, you know, have that income buy you a house, you're a superstar. I mean, it's so, you're right. And to the point of like, you know, my
space came and went. I'm always like thinking, well, what happens if tomorrow
Instagram's like, we're done. Like, oh, well, there goes all those followers.
So, yeah, don't be a one-legged table is what I would often say to people, even
though I feel like we are one-legged.
That's what it is.
Hey, Maz, I wanted to mention something.
Since we met, I've been following you and I watch a lot of your comedy.
You're very dancey on stage.
You have a lot of musicality to your movements.
And I've often said this, or we've talked to a lot of comedians and I've said this,
that some comedians are really, I find them
to be very musical, right?
There's intonation, that they go up and down
and they miss a beat and they take a beat
and they, you know, all that other stuff.
But I see you as like a very physical,
not like slapstick comedy, but you're always dancing
on stage and moving.
Were you, did you do a lot of dancing
in the house when you were kids?
No, I don't know if that comes from like,
being nervous on stage, I'm not quite sure what it is.
I mean, the truth is like, when I perform in LA,
like in town, hold on.
Excuse me. Oh, bless you.
When I perform in town, there's no music when you,
well, there's a little bit of music when you go up,
but there's no like dancing and stuff.
But when I perform on my headlining shows or my specials,
I started with a dance.
And I've found that that gets the energy going.
People are like clapping and stuff.
And so I'm already got him here and then we can go,
but I still keep moving.
I remember watching Chris Rock.
I think it was, gosh, I forget, maybe it was
Bring the Pain.
He was walking around the stage a lot.
I was like, oh, that's kind of cool.
He stalked it like a tiger.
Yeah. Yeah.
And I thought, you know what?
I go, moving around is kind of cool.
I like that.
Cause I mean, some people are very,
they'll just have the mic stand the whole time,
which although that's, that focuses attention as well,
you know, but I do, I think sometimes like the physicality
adds, I find I'm doing a lot of hip thrusts lately,
and it makes the punchline funnier.
I don't know why.
I find it to be very funny.
I love a good hip thrust.
Yeah, me too.
I like a good, you know, I saw Chris live
this last tour that he did
in like a 4,000 seat venue here in Atlanta,
and we were up pretty close,
and he just, the way he moves around the,
he owns the stage, but he moves and commands your attention.
Like he demands your attention.
Not only is he just that kind of person,
but then it's, there's something very,
something very visual about what he's doing.
Yeah, and then, but there are a lot of comics
who are literally stuck to the ground.
And some of them are funny, too
Yeah, but I think I prefer a little bit of a little bit of movement and hip thrusting. Yeah. Yeah, it's our ADD
You know, it's funny you guys say that because in the most the most recent iteration of my stand-up I'm I show
Comments I'm getting on social media and then I make fun of them. Yeah. And one lady commented, she goes,
it's just something like she said, like,
Maz, when you move around stage,
you move around stage a lot, it makes me nervous.
It feels like you always have to go pee.
Can you do something about it?
Is that it?
Yeah.
I've just had to pee before.
Oh.
So you're out on tour right now,
working on the next hour of comedy, I'm sure, for the
next special.
How many hours have you put together since you started this?
I think I have seven.
The first one was a group one, so let me just count it while I'm with you guys.
I always forget.
Was that Access of Evil?
That was Access of Evil.
You know, Brian, you're on it man.
I stalked you after we met.
I said, you're just gonna give me 15 minutes of fame.
You were so excited when you came back.
I'll just fend for life.
So there was Access of Evil,
then my first solo was Brown and Friendly,
then I said I Come in Peace,
then I said I'm not a terrorist,
but I played one on TV.
Then it was Immigrant, then it was Pandemic Warrior,
and then it was Birds and the Bees. So
seven, if you include that first one that was kind of the group. Yeah. Yeah, the group. See,
that's got to be an incredibly difficult thing to do. We've talked to a few comics about this,
too. It's got to be difficult to put this hour together and you whittle it down and you massage
it and you figure out this joke goes better here and I'll place this one there and you whittle it down and you massage it and you figure out this joke goes
better here and I'll place this one there and here's my closer and here's my opener and here's a
little wiggle room in the middle and then you got it and then you just kind of toss it is that keep
you like I'm sure that also keeps the creative juices flowing right is that's part of the game
yeah you have to you have to I would say like the I'm jealous of musicians they write a song
everybody wants to keep hearing that same song.
You write a joke, nobody wants to hear that joke again.
Maybe once or twice, but for the most part,
every time your special comes out,
I've had so many times where a special came out,
I'm watching, oh, this is great.
And it came together, people watching it.
And then I go, oh shit, I gotta write new stuff.
I cannot do that again.
Yeah.
Eddie Brill, do you know Eddie Brill,
the guy who used to book Letterman?
Yeah.
So Eddie Brill used to say to me,
he used to say, if you can be a comic
and put together one solid hour in your entire career,
you consider yourself successful.
So those who do it repeatedly are at the top of their,
like are at the top of our game.
Those comedians who can continue to refine and massage
and come up with new ideas and continue to be creative.
I find you to be very funny, Maz.
Well, I appreciate that, Brian,
but also I will say that there's a couple
of factors involved.
Number one is, hopefully if you're able to have a fan base
that watches or follows or buys or supports or whatever,
that helps.
So there are some brilliant comedians
who just never quite found that fan base.
So maybe they're not putting together as many.
I was lucky that I had a fan base
that was willing to watch my stuff.
The other thing I would say is that as your life evolves,
you hope that you write new stuff
because you get bored of the old stuff
and also your life changes.
So if you look at my early specials,
I'm talking about my kids being babies.
Now I'm talking about my kids being teenagers.
So I would hope you would evolve just for your own sanity.
Yeah, sure.
You know, and some guys don't, some guys are stuck,
guys and gals are stuck in their jokes from 20 years ago.
And to me, that's like, like,, like, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Do your kids like talk skibbity and all that?
Or they like into all that?
You know, have you seen the TikTok videos
where they're like, skibbity do,
and you got Raz and Riz and all that stuff?
They speak the secret language you don't understand?
I've heard a little bit of it.
They'll like, you know, but they're,
my daughter's 13, my son's 16.
So once in a while,
they'll tell me something that's like a thing, but they're not as on social media,
thank God, as a lot of kids are.
But they're, I mean, listen, they're watching
and they're not playing games and stuff,
but they're not necessarily like creating or, you know,
I tell them, I say, you control the phone,
the phone doesn't control you, so.
Good for you.
You know, hopefully they pay attention. I phone, the phone doesn't control you. Good for you. Hopefully they'll pay attention.
I'm already putting this message into my children.
My children are much younger than yours,
even though we're probably of similar age.
My children are, I don't have one above seven years old.
But they're already, when mom and dad are on the phone
or the iPad or whatever, that's what they wanna be in,
that's what they see.
And once they get that in their brains, then it's really hard.
So we have very strict and tough rules around when and where, you know, okay,
you can play a Mickey Mouse game or whatever to 15 minutes and then you're done.
And I'm already telling them you're not getting a cell phone that
connects to the internet until you're 35.
Trust me, you're going to thank me for this later.
Yes.
These things, they are like,
they seem like freedom, they're balls and chains
and they will fuck you up.
And especially when I can't, if we,
if I had the cell phone that was connected to the internet
when I was a teenager, I'm, and this is no joke,
I'm not sure I would be here.
Like I think that that's, it's terribly dangerous
is really what it is.
Absolutely, no, you're, you're a hundred percent.
I mean, I'm, I'm addicted to my phone. I'm caught, even when I'm, you know, lunch with somebody, you're always looking down. You. Absolutely, no, you're 100%. I mean, I'm addicted to my phone.
Even when I'm, you know, lunch with somebody,
you're always looking down, you're like, oh,
and then afterwards you're like, oh, it was just a bunch of,
you know, texts asking me for donations or something.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Worst mistake I ever made was telling the candidate I like
that I was willing to like them.
To vote for them?
Yeah. I never stopped getting texts. By the way, it's I was willing to like them. To vote for them? I never stopped getting techies.
By the way, it's not just the one you like.
I donated to one and then I started getting messages from the other party.
I know.
I go, come on, guys.
I got a lady knocked on my door one time and she said, are you going to vote for this guy?
And I said, no, not my style.
Thanks anyway.
I'm going to vote for the other team this time. And she said, well, not my style. Thanks anyway, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm going to vote for the other, other team this, this time.
And she said, well, you're making a goddamn mistake.
And I said, wait, you came to my door.
Yeah.
That's the way to change my vote.
I go, that's, that's not a convincing way to do that.
And forever and ever I get mailers from that candidate
or that super pack or whatever it is.
And I think to myself, did they think coming to my
door and threatening me was going to be the best way
to get me on their team?
But you know, politics is so divisive these days.
Did the audience change for you?
I mean, so you've been around for a minute.
Did the audience change?
Like the audience, I guess.
I see that in every part of our life in, on airplanes,
in grocery stores, at the gas station,
people are ready to pop off, right?
Ready to pop off, and it largely has to do
with which team you're on.
It is so tribal right now,
there's so much angst and anger around those tribes
that it's kind of difficult to navigate, right?
Did the audience change?
You talked about that one interaction,
but the audience changed when around the election 2015, 16?
Yeah, definitely.
I'm sorry, there's somebody fachuming back there.
That's okay.
That's okay.
We have the gardeners come out.
Yeah, we have the gardeners come out.
All the time.
Every time we record, they decide to come.
Even though we specifically tell them not to.
I believe that yeah people
got a little more on edge it was crazy because I'll tell you like during the Iraq war I would
make fun of the Bush administration just because a lot of people were and I did and and and there
was a couple times where somebody got upset and they were like you can't make fun of our commander
in chief and I was like the whole point we're supposedly going into
Iraq is to bring them democracy.
And you're telling me that I can't practice my democratic
right of making fun of the president.
Yeah.
Um, so that was then, and then again, it felt like it kind of
quieted down for a little bit, but then once Trump came in, it
fell like it was on steroids and people were really getting
offended and really, and the crazy thing is if you just mention his name, it causes a big thing.
Like you could do you could do you could if your politics, my policies is left
leaning, so you could do jokes that are left leaning and it won't offend some of
his fans. But if you say his name, it's like it's like Pavlov.
What did you say?
And and I remember when you just said, I actually was,
I'm gonna be in Raleigh.
And I remember being in Raleigh a little bit
after January 6th, like a few months after.
And I think at that point, most people were aware
and were admitting that January 6th was a bad thing.
And so I had some jokes about the people who stormed the capital
and there was a husband and wife in the front of the husband was like steaming.
Like I think he was already a denier of January 6th.
I mean, he might've been there.
I don't know.
Yeah.
And visitors.
They were visiting.
Exactly.
Tourism tourists.
What are you talking about?
Tourists with mason.
Listen, as a brown person, I go,
white people, you got funny names for your terrorists.
Because if brown people had attacked the Capitol,
they would have been terrorists, all right?
Yes, for sure.
But I go, for white people,
first you called them patriots,
then they became tourists.
They're currently hostages.
Have you heard this?
They call them hostages.
It's insane, it's insane.
Come on, it's so ridiculous.
Anyway, that day when I saw how upset this guy was getting, I came off stage and I was
like, I told my opening act, I go, I think I'm going to stop doing that joke.
I go, because I go, it divides the audience a lot.
There's some people that really get upset.
I said, by the way, I said, I'm going to stop talking about Trump completely.
I said, because at that point I thought he was going to just go away. So I'm not going to talk about it. I said, because at that point, I thought he was gonna just go away.
So I'm not gonna talk about him.
I don't need to, blah, blah, blah.
Since he's come back,
I haven't really talked about him on stage.
On Twitter, I go off on him all the time.
And by the way, I'm gonna keep calling it Twitter.
I don't care what you're on.
I'm gonna call it Twitter.
Yeah, I know, what a shame too.
Well, apparently, Elon agrees now too,
because he's saying, should I call it Twitter again?
No one ever stopped calling it Twitter.
I know.
Asshab.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So all of that to say, I still don't do any jokes
like where I make fun of him, because first of all,
on stage, as you say, because again,
I think it divides the room.
And secondly, what am I going to say
that other people have not?
I would have to have a really good take. Like the last time I did it, I actually did it in birds and the bees.
I did a joke about how the January six committee brought in Cassidy Hutchinson,
who was the, um, uh, she was, uh, she worked that thing under Mark Meadows.
And the chief of staff, right.
And she said that, uh, she had heard that Trump choked his secret service agent,
or at least tried to. And we don't know if he did or not, but I thought that was funny. And I,
and I, and the bit I was doing was I said, it's funny. It's, I said, it's funny because she said
that. And I said, all I said, the Republicans were like, no way he would never choke secret service
agent. And Democrats were like, yeah, wait, he would totally do it. And I said, what's crazy is that we all heard it and we all thought it's possible.
That crazy.
And then in the joke, I go on to just talk about how I go, I go, that's how crazy
this guy is.
Like if you ever heard like president Dwight Eisenhower choked a secret service
agent, he's like, no way he's a statesman.
But you hear Donald Trump be like, Hey, it couldn't happen.
And then I go, if you heard Biden choke the Secret Service
agent, you'd be like, how old was the Secret Service agent?
Right.
So I tried.
It's a fine line you walk because you set people off.
And the truth is, my opinion is what it is.
It's my show.
They don't have to be at my show.
And I truly have passionate feelings
about a lot of that stuff and everybody does.
You know?
Yeah, we do too, but we have taken the line
since about episode 20 that this needs,
we want a place for people to take a break, largely.
There's so much of that.
If you listen to the show, you'll get the way we lean.
It's left, right?
You'll get the way that we lean,
but we don't talk about it specifically,
unless it pierces kind of that fourth wall,
assassination attempt.
You gotta address it when you do an episode four days a week.
Yeah.
And no one wants that.
Like no one wants people to be assassinated.
Political violence, in my opinion,
is not gonna solve any issues,
it's gonna create more.
But take a break from it.
But when I address the audience
about why we don't talk about this,
it's because I don't have anything interesting to say that someone else hasn't already said
there are people that are smarter and better at punditry than me, and who fucking cares
what Brian Greene has to think about the election.
You are already opinionated about what you think about the election.
Why am I going to change your mind?
Now, I think it's important to activate, but I'm not sure this microphone is the right place or time to do that. Or I'd call
it something else, like, you know, the election break or something like that. No, if you were on,
listen, if you were on a news program and giving your opinion, that's one thing, but your show,
you choose to do what you want with your show. So currently, my stand-up show, the idea is we're
going to come together, we're going to laugh. You will hear some stuff that might be left-leaning, you're going to hear some
stuff that might be considered not politically correct.
Whatever that is that you feel it is.
And ultimately, like Ivan at the end of the show, I said the show is for everybody, I
want everyone to come and laugh together.
The problem becomes I think that some people, we also got to remind ourselves to have a
sense of humor about our leaders.
I don't care who that person is, but if the person writes a joke or somebody tells you
a joke, and it's actually a funny joke, sometimes it's based on truth, you should laugh.
You shouldn't be so offended.
It's not your grandmother.
That leader doesn't care about you the way you think that leader cares about you. And I just would encourage
people to not take it so personally.
I think comedy, almost every subject, almost every subject is beyond reproach. It's about
the timing and the intent, right? But if comedy is comedy, if it's funny, it's funny. If you're making fun of my guy, and it's funny, it's funny.
If you're making fun of the other person,
it's funny, it's funny.
But I do understand that the nature of 2024,
not everybody sees it that way.
And there are a lot of people that are very passionate,
like go to church kind of passionate about it,
which is silly to me.
But anyway, that's not.
Well, listen, that's I think the thing is that I think that
some people do feel,
as someone who's traveled all over the world to do comedy,
I will tell you, when I first started doing shows
in the Middle East, they kept telling us,
don't make fun of the leaders.
And I get it because they didn't wanna get in trouble,
the promoters didn't wanna get in trouble,
and I sure as hell didn want to get in trouble. The promoters didn't want to get in trouble. And I sure as hell didn't want to get in trouble.
But when I hear that people in America saying, don't make fun of our leaders, I go, do you
know that you're basically parroting what is said in dictatorships?
The beauty of this country is that the late night talk show host can make fun of our leaders.
We should be able to make fun of our leaders.
They're not as sacred as you make them.
But in some people's mind, they are.
And the beauty of this country is that we have some irreverence.
And I think that I will continue to make fun of those leaders
whenever I want to.
And you do it so beautifully.
Maz, you're a great guy.
You're very funny.
Birds and Bees on YouTube right now,
forever touring through 2025,
which we could appreciate.
If you live in a town,
he's likely coming to that town or somewhere close.
And your name is said Jabrani, not Jabroni,
for those including myself.
Brian, you're killing it, man.
You're amazing.
You got an A plus, my friend, A plus.
Nice.
Maz, friend of the show, you are welcome back anytime.
Thank you so much for being here.
Next time you come to Atlanta,
Chrissy and I will be front row,
ready to pop off at any mention.
Thank you guys.
I appreciate you both.
Have a great day.
Stay cool, hydrate, and let's get through the summer, man.
Amen.
Let's do it.
Let's get through the end of the year.
Be safe on tour.
Let's get through the next year.
Let's see how it goes.
I know.
All right, guys.
Thanks, Moz.
Thank you.
See you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Hello, my fans.
I mean, Brian and Chrissy's fans.
Boy, have I got news for you.
We are officially coming to Florida for TCB Live.
That's right, you can come see Brian's bald head
shining under the stage lights at Danube Gym Prove
Tuesday, September 24th, and at the Funny Bone in Orlando
on Wednesday, September 25th.
If you can't make it to see us in person,
text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB
and leave us a little love note instead.
As always, please, please, please follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on
TikTok at TCB podcast. Our content is shockingly good, so get after it.
And you already know I put every single one of those links in the show notes. You're welcome.
Ah, Maz Jabroni. What a Jabroni. It's Maz Jabroni. One of the things that Christie and I were laughing at is when we, when he, you know, there's a couple
of minutes before he actually comes on air, like during the commercial break.
And so I was like, Maz Jabroni, I've known this guy for years. And I say
Jabroni because my twin brother and I are always calling each other Jabronis.
We're like, hey, Jabroni,
based on a wrestling character from the 80s.
And he goes, Brian, Brian,
just one thing before we go on air.
It's Jabroni, not Jabroni.
And I'm like, are you sure?
He said, yes, I am sure.
He said, yes, I'm pretty positive.
My name is Maz Jabroni. Anyway, Maz Gibranee from Tehran,
via California, via Tehran. And what a wonderful, wonderful guy. He's just, he's so pleasant to
talk to. And this is how I found, you know what? He's not a bit different here than he was when I
met him the first time.
When you're touching bald heads in the night.
Yes, when Mark Cuban was sending my wife videos.
If you haven't heard the rest of the story, what happens in the middle of the night is
Maz and I are talking and then Mark kind of, you know, comes over and so now it's all three
of us talking and Maz and I, I think we're talking about wives and where the wives were,
how the wives were, whatever was going on.
And Mark goes, oh, and I go, hey, listen, my wife loves you on Shark Tank, by the way,
loves you, she thinks you're great. And he goes, Oh, she does. She's a big fan.
And I go, yeah. He goes, give me your phone. Open up your camera. Give me your phone. And
so then he makes a video for Astrid. I won't share it because I don't think he wants me
to share, but I did. That's not the reason he sent the video, but he sent a video to
my wife and it's rather fucking funny. If I was an asshole, I'd put it out there on
the internet, but I'm not going to do that because I like Mark.
Yeah.
So Mazjabrani.
Zebrani.
Zebrani.
God damn it, Brian.
Ah, ah.
Zebrani.com for tickets and tour information.
And then of course, please do go watch his special birds and bees now available on YouTube
for 100% $0 and zero cents.
So 30 in the morning.
That's what Tom, y'all stayed out to.
Oh yeah.
Well, we stayed out to.
Yeah.
Maz snuck away.
Maz did an Irish goodbye at some point during the night.
He was just like floated away, as did Mark Cuban, by the way.
He was kind of floated off into the night.
And I kept trying to guess which bar they were at, getting drunker and drunker as I went along.
I was like, where did they go?
This bar?
I don't know, let's stay here for a drink.
That bar?
I don't know, let's stay here for a drink.
I was also laughing, thinking about the time,
the one time that we did try to do the show on fireside.
Oh my God. What a clusterfuck.
And we had to have like three tech guys
letting calling us.
It was just a dead end.
I know one person.
Well, there were five people,
but four of them dropped off an hour
after we were trying to get the show started.
We just kept playing the intro music
over and over again.
We'll be we're almost there.
We're almost there.
Let's go.
I swear to God.
Yeah.
But to be fair, I think five people was about how many were on the. We're almost there. We're almost there. We're almost going live. I swear to God, yeah.
But to be fair, I think five people was about how many were on the ad at that time, so.
Anyway, well, best of luck to Fireside.
Listen, maybe there's a master plan that I don't know about.
I heard they just got a round of funding,
like not even a year ago.
And I thought, what are they funding?
I mean, you know, but who knows?
I don't know.
You never know.
Mark's smart.
He's up to something. He actually developed the concept of streaming. Did you know that his company was one of the first companies to ever stream anything?
Yes, and so Mark did pretty well for himself
Yeah, so I think every time we stream we have to pay him a dollar
Okay
We are going to be in Florida.
Wonderful, beautiful, the lovely Florida.
We're gonna be in Dana Beach,
which is just south of Fort Lauderdale, just north of Miami.
We're calling it the Miami area,
because that sounds better.
It's gonna be in Miami.
Let's just say Miami.
It's in Miami.
Dana Beach Improv.
Those tickets are now available. More information on the website. You can go to the Dana Beach Improv. Those tickets are now available. More information
on the website. You can go to the Dana Beach Improv website. Buy them directly. Do not
buy them anywhere else. Orlando Funny Bone on the 25th. So that's the 24th in Miami and
the 25th in Orlando at the Funny Bone. You can buy the tickets on their website or you
can find the link on our website or our social media. 212333TCB questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas.
Let us know if you're gonna be at the show
at the commercial break on Instagram.
Finally posting on TikTok again,
the commercial break at youtube.com slash the commercial break
for my and Chrissy's interview with Miles Gibroni
and selected episode.
Chrissy, that's all I can do for today.
I think so. I love you.
I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. I love you. I love you.
Best to you.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I always say,
we do say, and we must say,
goodbye.
Goodbye. Music you