The Commercial Break - TCB Infomercial w. Neal Brennan

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Neal Brennan has a new special on Netflix, and the first place he came to discuss it is The Commercial Break...right? A screener account P Diddy The bridge collapse (eclipse season) NFTs Doing ayahuasca by a six flags Irish Catholic Crazy athletes & sports that should be illegal Breaking norms Mike Tyson coming out of retirement Writing for nickelodeon Peanut butter and fluff Exposure therapy NEAL: Watch Neal’s special Crazy Good on Netflix! Neal’s website LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Must be 19 years of age or older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Oh, I haven't been gay.

I have experienced a ton of homophobia because I have a bidet. I haven't been gay. I have experienced a ton of homophobia because I have a bidet Yeah, my straight guy friends would be like can't do it bro Can't have water shooting on my ass. I'm like, are you worried about look if the only thing keeping you from being gay is Water hitting your ass You are gay. On this episode of the commercial break.

I'm dating someone with a kid and I relate. She's the kid, the boy, her son is like three and a half and it's just like incredible. That's the age. That's the age. I keep hearing that. That's why I'm going to break out with her. He's four now. Because I'm not going to stick around for a bunch of garbage ages.

The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy. Yeah, guys again. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this silly show, Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best to you. Best to you, Brian. And best Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this silly show, Kristen Joy Hoadley.

Best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on today's TCB Infomercial with one of my faves, Neil Brennan, is coming on the show. He is funny. We've been headlong into his material for a couple of weeks

now that we've been preparing for him to come on the show. And I do have to say he's one of my faves right now. I think he's one of the most intellectual comedians on the circuit right now, and I'd be happy to pick his brain about it when he gets here in just a few minutes. And coincidentally, or not coincidentally, his new special comes out today on Netflix. And feel free to go give that a gander because I think you're gonna like it. Chrissy and I had an opportunity to get a look in. Yeah, we felt very special. I did feel very special. I do have to say that after

months of interviewing celebrities, after weeks and weeks of promoting Netflix, they finally gave us an opportunity to take a look at what we're talking about. We got one of those screener accounts which you know they give them to Netflix, they finally gave us an opportunity to take a look at what we're talking about. We got one of those screener accounts, which, you know, they give them to everybody. I mean, they give them to anybody. I don't know about anybody who wants them, but, you know, they will say to certain outlets, they'll say, hey, if you're going to do promotion on this particular show, why don't you let that show take a look at what you're promoting ahead of time so that you can go and look

at it. And so it doesn't look anything like a screener account, it's just you know Netflix screener account, there you go. And then but your name is bouncing all around the screen while you're watching it. Which is the only like a little bit the thing that was a little bit off-putting I guess, is that your name is there. And that's so of course you don't then release that material out there into the wild. They'll know who did if you did it. If you did it you get caught and you will be in trouble And you will not have that account anymore

But I do have to say Neil was nice enough and Neil's people were nice enough to let us in on that screener account So we could watch his special before coming on the show and it is fucking hilarious Jeff and I we were saying we haven't laughed like straight through a comedy special in a long time Yeah, and it was the whole time we were laughing. It's We haven't laughed like straight through a comedy special in a long time. Yeah. And it was the whole time we were laughing. It's ball bustingly funny. You have to watch it. So go now and search that Neil Brendan special on Netflix available today,

April 9th, as you're listening to this. What is going to be old, old news by the time we get there? But I think we do have to talk about it at least just a little bit. Is P. Diddy getting busted. I know by the time this comes out, he'll already be in jail. It's gonna happen, but we're just getting this today. We're just getting the snake. And I'll breeze over all the details because they will change every minute from here until

when we actually release this. But I will say this is that his drug dealer got busted with him. He's got a private jet, which people tracked, as this is happening over the last couple of days, that people tracked down to the Caribbean. So, they thought, well, he flew the coupe, he went down to the Caribbean. But not true. He was in Miami waiting to get on a separate plane to fly to the Caribbean. I guess he decided, well, everyone's going to know my jet, so let me get on another jet and I'll fly down there. And he decides to take his drug dealer with him. Well, his drug dealer

looks like a kid bumming a cigarette from me outside of a bar. This does not look like a drug dealer. He's like 24, 25 years old, white as the driven snow, wearing a hoodie, clean shaven. Doesn't look like he could grow a mustache if he tried. And I'm like, that's your drug dealer? All the people you know? You were, all the people you know, did he? And that's the guy that's bringing your shit with you? It's silliness, don't do that.

Can't you get it where you go? I mean, honestly, if you're going down to the Caribbean, doesn't it make sense that you would be able to like, find somebody to get you a little, whatever it is you're into, blowin like find somebody to get you a little, whatever it is you're into, blowin' strippers, I don't know, whatever it is you're into. But let's wait and see how all this pans out before we talk more about it. But I will say that if true, whatever he's being investigated for, if true, it's pretty

fucking horrific. And there are so many people now coming out of the woodwork saying, I told you so, and pointing to past media or posts or whatever that they put out there, including that Danity Kane. Remember that Danity Kane band that he put together and then they had like the girls group, you know? Yeah, no. Forever or something like that. I don't know. Maybe I'm mixing up a Netflix show called Five Forever. Is that it? Five Ever?

Five Ever. Five Ever? Maybe I'm mixing up a Netflix show called Five Forever. Is that it? Five Ever? Five Ever. Five Ever? Maybe I'm mixing that up with the P Diddy special, with the P Diddy group that he put together on MTV, making the band. Oh right, I forgot about that. But that girl came out and she said, hey listen, I told you guys this long time ago.

And there's a lot of other people who are saying this too, including 50 Cent. Now Cuba Gooding Jr. is getting wrapped up into it as well. Well, I think Cuba, I mean, I think this is true. I hope it's true. If it's not, then allegedly. Cuban Gooding Jr., didn't he like grab some, molest some girl at a bar at one point, then got arrested for it, and then he had to like pay a fine or something like that. I can't keep up either, but I haven't seen Cuba in too many movies lately. So I think that generally people have shied away from working with Cuba after this whole incident

occurred. But then there's like that preacher that Oprah loves is now was hanging out with the, everybody was hanging out with Diddy at Diddy's parties. William- We had huge parties. What's that? He had huge parties. Apparently the best parties. But, you know, the best is like a, I don't know, it's a pretty loose term when you're talking about parties, right? You go to the best party and it could have Half Song Hoadley and Brian half drunk looking to score a blow from Dee. Or you go to the best party at a mansion in Miami where there's lots of illegal things

going on that clearly you would have to have a moral, no moral compass to avoid. You know what I'm saying? So I don't know, when they say the best parties, I think that's just code word for, was way too crazy for me, bro. Sorry, I even showed up, erase the video. You know what I'm saying? I think there's a lot of people right now wishing they didn't go to the craziest party that did E through, for sure. And you know what else is just happening now, in case we

mention it to Neil, is that bridge collapse that just happened in Baltimore. And the thing that I find interesting about the bridge collapse, clearly I don't think it was terrorism or anything, I think it was just a captain who lost control of his ship. But the thing that I find interesting about the bridge collapse, clearly I don't think it was terrorism or anything, I think it was just a captain who lost control of his ship. But the thing that I do find interesting about that is, like, how are they going to get all those other ships out of port? Like, if that's the port, where do they send all the other ships? Yeah. Yeah.

It's like my kids running up and down the hallway right now. I have a gate and I close it so the kids can't get out of the port. But now clearly, they've been let loose inside of the port. Release the hounds indeed. So listen, you know, I just got to say to Diddy, if you've managed to get out of this without being in cuffs or in a courtroom, then we were all wrong and we're very sorry. But you need to change your drug dealer. This is not the guy you want running around with you.

In a group with P. Diddy, that's the guy I'm pointing out, as this one is not like the other. You know what I'm saying? This guy, something is not like the other. And it's this kid, 25 years old, just fresh faced. I mean, I went to Catholic school with kids like this. But then again, the Catholic school kids did get the best drugs.

So yeah, because they could buy them from their parents. You know what I'm saying? That's the way that it went. Speaking of Catholic school, Neil went to Catholic school. We'll talk to him about it. It's going to be a fun time with Neil Brennan, his new special out today on Netflix. Go watch it. I promise you, you won't be disappointed. Grab your wife, grab your loved ones, grab the kids, probably not the kids, grab them all up, put them all up on the bed and watch this Netflix special. It is ball bustingly funny. So let's take a break, Hoadley, and then we will be back with Mr. Neil Brennan. Let's do it.

What? Oh, hi, it's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all things audio, video, and TCB-dio. Give us a follow on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at tcbpodcast. And guess what? We have a new phone number. I know what you're thinking, but I promise this is the last TCB phone number you will ever have to remember.

So call us and leave us a voicemail or text us at 212-433-3TCB. Once more for the people in the back, that's 212-433-3TCB. Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for now. Let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the stats. Pick over, pick under, pick more, pick less. With almost every professional sport, no matter what league you're into, PrizePix has you covered. I talked last week about a couple of my MLB picks, and today I'm picking my hometown boy

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Couple hours in, or maybe the next day, you feel drained. I know I can often feel that way around the holidays and now that spring's coming, there's going to be many more events and family functions to attend. Over the years, therapy has given me some self-awareness so that I can build a social life that doesn't drain my battery. You may ask yourself, well, what's the big trauma about going out and socializing with friends? Therapy is not just for people who are experiencing or have experienced traumatic events in their life. Therapy can also help

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So we're hosting a weekly advice show where we answer all your work-related questions. Something amazing happened. I got offered my dream job. How am I supposed to bring this up to him without hurting his feelings? What should I do? I want to, like, stick to pleasantries

without being an a**hole. Careful, money and friends. They don't mix, babes. They don't. And don't work with your friends and make your friends at work. All right, I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but that was actually million dollar advice.

Whether you need advice or just love to listen to other people's problems, this show is for you. Listen and follow Million Dollar Advice, an Odyssey podcast, available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. Neil, thanks so much for joining us on the show. Hi, Neil. How are you?

It's a pleasure to be here, guys. How you ended up here, we have no idea, but fire your manager immediately, if not sooner. So, Neil, in these, I have a question. It's a burning question. In these times of uncertainty, bridge collapses and ditty collapses and all kind of all this. Looks like a, I gotta say, pretty well made bridge from what I can see. Well, we just heard it, we were just listening, the side note here, we were just listening to a press conference and one of the reporters asked, that bridge, it fell so quickly.

Was there something wrong with it in the first place? And I'm like, did you expect a bridge to fall slowly? How does a, how was a bridge supposed to fall? Well, no, I will say, I will say it just looked like it was made of wood. It did collapse. It did look like a movie. It did look like something out of a movie. It was the Francis Scott Key Bridge.

So maybe it'd been around since that long. It'd been around for a while. So, Neil, where are you keeping your board ape NFTs? What crypto wallet are you using? Well, you know what's funny is there's more... They're joking about the fact that I have a crypto joke in my new Netflix special, Crazy Good, April 9th. And the, I had more to that joke, but I wrote it so crypto could go either way.

Up or down. Good thinking. So I omitted the part about it being down and how watching crypto go down was like watching the fire festival from a nearby boat. How it was enjoyable for those of us not invested. But now we're all idiots. Now I'm a moron because I divested all my crypto at the very bottom. But you know, I

never got into it. NFTs are a whole different animal. Never got into that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'm stupid, but I'm not a moron. Exactly. I figured a collection of pixelated PDF dicks is probably not going to make me any money in the first place So I chose not to collect You couldn't you could have talked to me about NFTs for a million years and it never would have made sense exactly It still doesn't make sense to me. I think I think it's Anyway, I'm sure there's some thankfully people just stopped talking about it. Thank you

They don't want you to know what a fucking moron they are that they had spent $30,000 on a picture of an ape. So Neil, you did ayahuasca a number of times, our intrepid researchers have figured out and listening to your specials. Have you done it quite a bit? 15-ish times. So when you do ayahuasca, are you doing the legit ayahuasca

down in a ceremony, mixing up the tea, throwing up everywhere? It's, I mean, I'm doing it, it's legitimate in that it is the tea, I don't mix it. It's in North America, in fact, it's by Six Flags in California. All right. And it's, yeah, it's this legitimate,

you just want the juice, whatever you want to say. And none of it, how it gets created or whatever is less important than the actual meat of it, as it were. I did, I've done ayahuasca a number of times and I did it in a ceremonial setting. I did this, like, I'm going to say 15 to 18 years ago, I get invited to do ayahuasca in a ceremony. They're going to, we're going to bring some dude up. He's going to bring the ayahuasca with him, make the whole tea right in front of us. And there were doctors.

Pete Slauson Like guacamole. Jared Slauson Kind of like guacamole. Peteenns The table side guacamole. Jared Larsen Yeah. Jared Larsen Only, I gotta be honest, I would have rather thrown up from the guacamole than from the ayahuasca, but, you know, same principle. And – Pete Slauson Yeah, beggars can't be choosers. You wanna meet God or not? Jared Larsen So, people have asked me, like, what was it like to, like, you know, do ayahuasca?

And I had to go to a meeting before we did the ayahuasca because they had to tell us about the things that could or could not happen. There was a paramedic in the room. So I tell people this. I say it was kind of like getting invited to the can't miss party of the century. Only they explain fine print on the bottom of the invitation, may die a million deaths. And they conveniently leave that part out. It's an intense fucking experience. And just the number of times that I've done it, it's been both

helpful, revelatory, incredible, but also very scary and intense. Did you feel the same way? I mean, scary is not even scary. I would have paid for scary. What I went for was worse than scary. But the same all the upside and it was worth it for me. That's great. Did you find that it helped? Were you a different person after you did ayahuasca? I felt I was. I felt I was. I just looked at the world in a different way. It was hard to shake it for a long time. And I think that kind of got built into my DNA somehow.

Did you find that also? Yeah, I think it changes your brain. So I know that I'm different. People that don't know I did it perceive me differently. If you watch my three Netflix specials, this one is the brightest and fastest and most fun and there's none of the emo, all that emo garbage I was doing. There's none of the, there's this kind of like, a buddy of mine said it was guilt free. Yeah. guilt-free. And I think that's correct. And it's a combination of ayahuasca. I did DMT

once, exploded my brain. And then I've done MDMA a few times this year, and that's been really helpful as well. Yeah. Yeah, I think, but I do, there is a notable difference in the news special that's out today on Netflix. There's a notable difference in the new special that's out today on Netflix. There's a notable difference in the other specials and then the new special. But I do think that three mics, it was a revelation for me. I mean, just like the refreshing nature, your honesty on stage.

It's not all yuckles and laughs, even though some of it is. It's really you just kind of opening yourself up to the audience and saying, here is what I struggle with, here is what I deal with. Did you, and I know that's hit a note with so many people, I've seen you on so many shows and so many podcasts, and everyone says kind of the same version of what I'm saying. But did it feel better or different to you to do this new special or is it just like, this is just where I'm at right now and I'm going to be there? It's where I'm at. Yeah, it was where where i'm at i don't want to disavow that in fact the reason i have an announcement beginning of the federal

like if you're here because i'm sad and i have some horrible news and i would put that in because someone complained a guy d m d m was like where were you came to the show was like why was waiting for you to show up. Basically, he was complaining that I wasn't sad enough. What? So I, yeah, basically.

So, so I put that in and I don't, I don't not like that guy that, you know, you may like from the other two specials is dead. Right, no, there was the same guy. I'm just saying like, that's, yeah, it's all, I'm the same guy. Now there's just no heaviness. Or there's significantly less heaviness than normal. Yeah. Can I ask a question like piggybacking on that? When you deal with such clinical depression, it's something that really resonates with me is I think something that you said in three mics, which is my self-esteem, I don't have a floor, right? It's just a hole that I'm constantly

trying to feel. It's something that I identify with at times. When you are out so publicly in front of people and kind of speaking your mind. Does that twist you sometimes when people have these expectations that you're going to somehow help them fix them, do this, or does that just bounce right off you? I don't really get caught up in people's expectations. When I'm doing a show, I'm trying to do a show. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Even when I toured blocks, I didn't have the blocks. So I just did stand up and it was like a good hour. It was like, you know, and it was just as effective somewhat or so to speak. So with this, I'm not like the people are out there and they're sad. And they need me. I just like, I'm gonna do a show and hopefully,

I think a lot of what people remember is like that I was confessional and maybe something that they remember and then, I think most people just like jokes. Jared Slauson Yeah. Yeah. Are you sure you're clinically depressed or you just have a bad case of Irish Catholic? I mean, Pete Slauson Look, where does one end and the other begin? I don't know. As an Irish Catholic, I don't know. Yeah. That sure is a good question. And I, yeah, I don't, people are like, are you sure, that more than anyone Irish Catholic is like, or how do you know? How do you know you're right?

You're like, I don't you know? How do you know you're correct? I was like, I can't like technically prove it, but like, it seems, I mean, they're, it's like trained professionals that told me I am? That's probably a good indication. Yeah. Yeah, pretty good start. Yeah. Irish, you know, Catholic is a religion. I'm not going to say it's a strange religion because I think they're all a little bit strange in their own way. But when you grow up and you hear this messaging kind of repeatedly that you are the original sin and that these things are to be repressed and we don't talk about these things, and then all the other bullshit that comes along

with being a Catholic. My family life was affected by the scandal that rocked the Catholic Church in such an intimate way. Which one? What's that? Which one? Oh, the one about the- Great question. You know, the one about the priest running around touching everybody. Which one?

Yeah, which one? All of them. But then, you know, it's just kind of this weird- It's not a good, you're not supposed to feel good as a Catholic. No. You're right about this. That goes against the entire ethos. So, and you're not, and literally it's in the Bible, spare the rod, spoil the child. So you're supposed to feel bad. You came out broken and you're to be beaten into submission.

And anyway, church is open nine to five. Yeah, so I don't it's not a great it's not a great religion. And it's I think it's it's it's had some positive some negative. I you know, listen, I mean, yeah, like, I don't, but yeah, Christopher Hedgeson said it's like, it's like celestial North Korea. You're bad before, and he goes, but the difference is you can escape North Korea. You can't really escape thinking you're bad. It's hard. You have to do a lot of ayahuasca.

Yeah, you have to do a lot of ayahuasca, and it gets beaten into your head. I think, you say something in one of your special specials and you're like, listen, like all good Catholics, I left at 12th grade or something like that. And I think that is so fucking, I mean, I didn't believe it from about seventh grade on, but then at 12th grade, I went to Catholic school also. And it's like, you know, the daily mass and the bullshit and the bullshit and the bullshit. But after 12th grade, I'm like, I'm out of it. My parents didn't even like the Catholic. It's like, yeah, the joke, if I can put it in joke form, if I can defend my honor real quick, the joke is that being Catholics,

like playing trombone after 12th grade, you're like, I'm not doing that shit. Right. Thank you. April 9th on Netflix. Ah. Youngest of 10 children. That's a lot. That's way too many. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Are you close with everyone? But yeah, 10 kids and, you know, with those numbers, you don't have to. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

You couldn't be. It would be a full-time job. But yeah, 10 kids in 16 years, which is insane. 10 kids in 16 years. Yeah, so it's like by the time you're born, one of the kids is almost out of the house. Yeah. What do you have in common with them? Almost nothing.

Yeah, my oldest brother Joe was like, I just realized we barely grew up together. I was like, you just realized that? I forgot about you. Yeah, by the time I'm conscious, he's gone. Oh yeah. So, yeah. Did you guys, I'm curious about this.

Did you guys share bedrooms? You must have, or did you have? Yeah, I shared a bedroom for probably half my childhood, like from zero to maybe more than half, zero to 12. And then around 13, we moved and I got an upgrade. Yeah, sweet. Out of the hostel, into my own room, like the king of England.

So yeah, so it was like, I guess it was what you call hard scrabble. I'm kind of, thanks to the ayahuasca, the DMT, and the MDMA, I kind of don't think about it as much anymore or like feel a ton of negative feeling around it. It almost feels like a hazy memory, that's the other advantage, or one of the advantages of age. Is like you forget everything, you forget everything. And now I've stopped holding my mother.

My standard now for parenting is it is Was it did they make an effort and is it better than their parents and I might my parents for all of the You know not grief I've given them but all of this sort of taking the task in these specials You know, they were better than their parents. Yeah Yeah, and it was hard. They made it hard on themselves. And also, Catholicism made it hard on them. Where like, they couldn't, I don't think my dad wanted kids at all. So, yeah. Jared Sarkissian That's familiar to me. I don't think,

I don't think my parents wanted, I don't think my dad wanted kids. And then I don't think that he even liked the Catholic Church, but it's like a cult. We grew up in Chicago. When you're there, you're there, and it's what else are you going to be? What else are you going to be? I grew up in Chicago. I know you grew up. I grew up in Wilmette.

Yeah. I grew up in Wilmette. The funny thing is, when you say your dad didn't even like Catholicism, I remember toward the end of his life, my dad, I said something about, he said something about I'm beating, I'm not beating cancer, cancer, I'm not fighting cancer, it's beating, it's whipping my ass or something. I go, I go, that's actually a Christopher Hitchens line. He goes, oh, I know I loved his book, God is Not Great. I was like, why did I, why was I an altar boy? So, yeah. Were you an altar boy? Yeah, man. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

What a weird time. Like, I'm lucky to have avoided any mischievousness with priests. Yeah. I have a joke where I say, everybody asks, were you molested? And I'm like, I didn't get molested. I fucked a few priests, but I didn't get molested. So, yeah, I wasn't molested by priests. I was a priest.

I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest.

I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a priest. I was a I didn't get molested. I fucked a few, but I get molested. So yeah, I wasn't molested. But it's just a weird, I don't know, man. I don't know what to make. Life's incredibly odd. It really is. And the older I get, the more it unravels a little bit. But the more, the more it unravels a little bit, but the more, I don't know, for me, the more purpose I find in the small details and the less I understand the big stuff, right? It seems like the big stuff is very complicated, but the small details, like I know you don't have children, but I have children and like moments in the children or moments of beauty

that I see and then I go, oh, that's it. That's what this is all about. But the big complicated stuff, I'm like, fuck it. Well, the level of complexity about everything is incredibly massive. And anyone who claims it's not and has a solution is lying. So keep that in mind.

So you said you were dating someone? I'm dating someone with a kid and I relate. The kid, the boy, her son is like three and a half. And it's just like incredible. That's the age. That's a good age. That's the age. I keep hearing that. That's why I'm going to break up with her.

He's four now. Because I'm not going to stick around for a bunch of garbage ages. Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. But that's four now. Cause I'm not gonna stick around for a bunch of garbage ages. Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. But that's the age when they are starting to wake up to the world and then you can like these little moments that they have or these little interactions that you have with them, you're like, that's pure, that's good. That's the thing. And all the other, and you know, Trump and Biden and all this other, that's all the bullshit,

right? I don't give it. It's like, what am I going to do about that? I wish I could do something about it, but I can't do anything about it. So I'll sit here with my hands tied like the rest of the fucking world. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's kind of how it rolls. When, how long have you been dating this girl? A couple of weeks. No, like a year. It's already having moments with the child. Couple weeks. Yeah. Yeah, couple, like a year. And it's been, yeah, it's an amazing relationship and I don't mind the kid even though I don't want my own kids.

I really, I get it. People have told me kids are great and they were, they were, they were, they were right. 1000%. Hey, you mentioned this in a couple of your specials in a couple different ways. And I'm not going to bastardize your jokes so you can tell. Why stop now? You say that you like the athletes, the crazier the better. You know, it's just, that's the way that it should be. And I kind of agree with you that, like, these men that were out there, you know, killing each other on the football field, or you do this bit about Tiger Woods that is so hilarious, I'm not

going to ruin it for everybody, go watch it tonight, today on Netflix. But you do these bits on these athletes that are so funny and so absolutely true. True. Like, they're not, you're lying to yourself if you think that these people are normal or can be held to a normal standard. And I include women in it as well where it's like the gymnast girls. That should be illegal. It stunts their growth. They don't menstruate for eight years.

Like it's like Veal look and are like, hey, relax with those little girls. So gymnastics, those figure skating girls look like they're under duress. That was the funny thing. And yeah, every Tiger Woods and Tom Brady and Michael Jordan and Kyrie Irving and Oscar Vistorius and Lance Armstrong and Dennis Rodman.

And I don't even mention Mike Tyson or Ray Carew or the OJ Simpson or just like the guys that are convicted of crimes, but this idea that they're somehow, it's like so dishonest. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like expecting extraordinary things from ordinary people.

And I end up talking about comedians in the same vein, where it's like, what are you, this is not normal. What I can do isn't normal, and I'm not breaking any laws, but a few comedians have. And by the way, they're really good at comedy. So I don't know if there's a direct correlation but if the job is to question and break norms, you can't be upset when they break norms. That's it. It is so 1000% true what you're saying. And when you say it like that, it

becomes blatantly obvious that that is true. Yes. Like, what are we taught? Everything I say in the special, like, go to therapy, get, you know, take medication, just know that everything good on earth is from psychopaths and drug addicts. It's just always been true. It's always been true. So so and then people go, well, you know, is Michael Jordan a good husband? I don't care. I'm not gonna marry him. I have no plans to marry him. So it's a joke I didn't do because it's too elitist, but when people are like,

is Ellen nice? I wanted to go, don't worry, you're never gonna meet her. Unless you're a $50 million house in Santa Barbara, she's not interested in you. So this idea that they need, or I do a joke, is Kevin Hart humble? Why would you think that billionaire is humble? Where did you get that, it's like a word job, just like a spin a wheel, is Kevin Hart humble? How did you get humble? How did you get humble? How did you get humble from that person?

What has he ever done that would lead you to believe he's humble? Yeah, exactly. What has he ever done that makes you believe that he's there to serve everybody else's interests? Yeah, which part, yes. When he popped out of a stage, what a sign. Well, well that's a pure, that's a sign of pure humility. Last one I saw that do that was Michael Jackson before that Gandhi.

Right. So that's the, that's humility, that's the dead giveaway of raw humility. Are you a huge sports fan? I'm pretty, yeah, like I, I, my interests are fading in it in that Jay Leno has a hilarious joke. I don't even, he just says it in conversation. He's like, what do I care if the oranges beat the peanuts?

But but yeah, I still like basketball. Do you, I'm just asking this question. It's completely random as the show usually is. What do you think about Mike Tyson coming out of retirement? What's funny is, I just happen to like Mike Tyson for, I think he's a, I think he's having a very difficult life experience. And the problem is if that kid beats him. He's not gonna get better. Yeah.

Meaning, well no, but I'm saying like, it's gonna be worse, we're gonna have to deal with that kid for 10 more years. Yeah, exactly. So I'm hoping to, I'm praying to the good Lord, the good Catholic Lord that Mike can beat him up. I find that Mike in his older age, and I think we're of similar age, and we grew up and Mike Tyson was destroying human, I mean, he's just a like a-

Wild man. Wild man, a monster. The most exciting athletic events ever. We're Mike, Mike, Mike Tyson first round. And we all watched them. And then in, and then he kind of had this super rough patch, right? But then I find him to be a bit philosophical now. Like I find him to be totally philosophical.

He does DMT. He's done DMT a hundred times. I did it once. It broke. Um, and yeah, I think he's, I like how he's, he's just living publicly, I think. And it's, he's, I'm like rooting for him. Yeah, we are too.

We were saying that. Yeah, a hundred percent. And I do hope he kicks that kid's ass because I think that we just need a little less Paul in our life, a little less Paul. Sure, sure. I want to ask you about your early days. I just found out that you lived with Jay Moore, is that right? For a period of time? Paul Matzkoff I did, yeah.

Jared Ranere Where was it? Paul Matzkoff Yes, we were roommates. Yeah, and I also wrote for all that on Nickelodeon. Jared Ranere I saw that. Paul Matzkoff You're not touching that. Jared Ranere Oh, you did. I'm just watching that. Paul Matzkoff Jay Moore I lived with in J. Moore I lived with in New York for a while, and I think we were only roommates for a month, but it felt like a decade.

I'm just watching that Netflix. I think it's on Netflix, the Nickelodeon thing. No, it's on HBO Max. Yes. Yeah, the Nickelodeon thing is a odd. I wrote there and I wrote for that guy, Dan Schneider, and I received a full salary, I think. I don't remember. It wasn't a ton of money. I don't really know what to say about it, other than I will say, Dan Shiner was the greatest crank call maker

I've ever witnessed in my life. Oh really? Yes, I don't wanna say anything else on in public. Fair enough. Yeah, no problem. I just happened to fall asleep to it the other night. Oh yeah, women pick horrible shit. I know, I was like, what am I?

And then I couldn't stop watching it. And then it's getting worse and worse and worse. And I was like. Yet something about watching five hours of murder documentaries makes it hard to get REM sleep. I know. Yeah. Do better, lady.

Yeah, I like that. So he's just making prank calls for no reason? He would know in the middle of writing this. He was a great prank caller. I once heard him convince a guy to go outside and measure his drive-life. He was extraordinary. Oh, wow. This is not going to be used. I mean, it's not. I have stories. I have a lot of stories. No, I don't want to hear them. We're not looking for that kind of popularity. Yeah. You don't want those kinds of kids. We're not that kind of podcast, if you know what I mean. We're like, you know, listening in the morning with your kids in the car. Will we tell dick jokes kind of podcast?

Morning Zoo Crew kind of shit. Morning zoo crew. Wonderful. Wonderful. Are you taking this out on the road? Do you intend to tour? I've already toured this. The Crazy Good Show, I toured from 2023 and filmed it in the end of 2023 and now. And then I'm going to, I'm like taking my time writing a new hour because I don't want to The temptation I think is to like take the positive Attention and sell tickets, but I don't want to sell tickets on a show that's not done yet

So I'm throwing away perfectly good moment We didn't go on Neil brennan.com and join my man? I just signed up. I just signed up. Yeah, we're in Atlanta. So there you go. You're over a hundred. Oh, great. Yeah, I was at the Varsity Theater last year. No, the Variety Playhouse was, yeah, it was awesome.

I wish we had. Yeah, that's walking distance from where I live. We had caught you. If only you had walked past it every day for three months and saw me. No way. It was unavoidable. There was nothing we could have done to make,

to get you to the show. Good attempt, pretty half-assed attempt at lying, but God bless. Well, I have 13 to 15 children, so I don't go out anymore. Blame her. Yeah, great. Yep, fantastic.

Fine, fair enough. You're forgiven. NEO special comes out today, April 9th on Netflix. Please go watch it. It's fucking hilarious. It's the first time my wife and I have laughed in the same room. Seriously, that can stop laughing.

Yeah, it was great watching. It is so different than what you do. I think you're one of the smartest comics working today. And that's just my own personal perception. But I think the fact that you're willing to take the camera and point it at yourself in a very real way and then keep everybody abreast of what's going on along the way is refreshing and funny and at times heartbreaking. And it makes you, I don't know, it's a very intimate type of comedy in my opinion.

And I really appreciate it, Neil. It's very... Yeah, this one's just funny. So comedy in my opinion and I really appreciate it, Neil. It's very- Yeah, this one's just funny. Yeah, this one's just funny. None of that shit I just talked about does he do on this particular show, but please go watch that one. He's really good.

You're awesome, Neil. Thank you for joining us today. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. You got it. Bye. Okay.

Bye. Bye. Okay. Bye. Bye. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-433-3TCB and you can text us anytime you want or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages

he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. We have sponsors, so thank G and here they are. All right, and we're back. Neil Brennan was wonderful. I do have to say, Neil is still one of my faves. Even he...

I'm sure he's going to be happy to know that. Yeah, I'm sure he's going to listen. I'm sure that's the first thing that he's going to do, is putting it on his calendar. He's like, well, got to listen to the commercial break on April 9th, make sure that I sound great on the show. This is probably his 12th podcast today. He's probably like, I'm done with podcasts today. Yeah, exactly. But he is great. I mean, his delivery is just so funny. And it's very dry, you know, very dry wit humor. But the things that he says are so

resonate so much. I know it's all very like, I don't know, I feel like his sense of humor feels right to me, like it's it fits for me, right? I like his sense of humor. And he's got a smart ass. He has these whip, whip smart comebacks. But the, I wanted to say this to him, but then I didn't find that maybe that was, it was like I had the feeling that it was the appropriate place to say it. He reminds me of my aunt. And I don't know why. It's not because he's like, looks like my aunt, even though his mannerisms are like my aunt. And she has a very similar sense of humor. My aunt does. And he grew up in Chicago, she grew up in Chicago. So I don't know, there's something about him that I go-

They could have known each other. Yeah, they could have known each other. They could have been twin sisters. She might be one of the ten children. The ten kids. You never know. Ten fucking children. Can you imagine? No. I can. I can. And let me tell you something right now. More than seven is a brood too many. But I guess when you do have 16 years of age difference in there,

it's kind of like, you know, the first ones are leaving the house when you're just kind of coming into your existence. Yeah, that seems crazy. Isn't it insane? Yeah, it's the household all at once. Yeah, but that's what Irish Catholics did back then. Yeah, they were like, have as many as we can. We'll populate this half of the United States with all Irish Catholics and everything will be fine. And the Catholic Church encouraged it, because the Catholic Church said, you know, hey, listen, prophylactics, not allowed. Well, right, no birth control. Abortion, not allowed. Birth control, not allowed. So, they kind of encouraged this,

you know, dramatic fertility of all people, it was just like, go spread your seed as far and wide as it can come, and then you have a family with 10 children. I don't even know how you pay for 10 children. Even back then, I don't know how you pay for 10 children. But Neil's special is hilarious. And you do have to go watch it. Or I would encourage you to, you have to go watch it like I'm your dad. You have to go watch it. Go watch it. One of the things I wanted to ask him too is he says that his dad had sandwich rules, or his mom or his dad had sandwich rules. I had sandwich rules also. You could only use a certain amount of meat when you were making your sandwich. You could only, you know, there were certain things that you could do or couldn't do when you were making your sandwich. And then I still somehow

always ended up with a peanut butter and fluff marshmallow sandwich for lunch, which is not that good. I mean, it's fine. It's fine. It's like, Cheesecake Factory. It's fine. Beth Dombkowski Yeah, of sandwiches. And then my mom would go get these big packs of like, you know, Cheetos, Doritos, whatever. And if you were lucky, there were still some of those left and you'd have one of those in your bag. If you were unlucky, then she'd take like some shitty old stale potato chips and just throw them into a Ziploc bag and that's what you'd get. And I was always disappointed by that. So you only for like, my mom would go to the store and then only for the first two

or three days after the store visit, would you get the good stuff. Of course. But then you knew when my mom had to go to the store because you would start getting shitty stuff. It was down to the bare bottom there, to the bottom of the cabinet. Yeah, I think a couple times it was peanut butter and fluff sandwich minus the fluff. You know what I'm talking about? It was just like peanut butter with a woof of fluff.

Are you a crunchy peanut butter or a smooth creamy butter? Well, I used to be a smooth peanut butter guy, but now I do crunchy peanut butter. But one of my kids is allergic to peanut butter, peanuts, so now I don't do peanuts anymore. Yeah, you got to be really careful. And we're putting her through that, like, you know, here, eat some, a little bit of peanut every day so that you can hopefully build up a tolerance. And so far, so good. But it always feels to me like walking the edge. Like, we have to take her to these appointments where then she gets a high dose of peanuts. So, we give her a small dose and then once a week we take her and she gets a high dose and they keep increasing it every time they go.

That's so interesting that they treat food allergies like that now. Exposure therapy. Yeah, makes sense. Yeah, they're doing it for cats and all different kind of stuff. I mean, they don't actually put a cat in your face. They just, you know, I guess, I don't know, they blow some cat dust around or something. I'm not sure. Dander. Yeah, some dander. I'm not looking to do that because I've had a really

serious reaction to cats and I'm never again am I interested in having that reaction. But they take her, but it always feels like we're walking a knife's edge. You know, you come in and they're like, do you have your EpiPen with you? And I'm like, I'm at the doctor's, don't you have an EpiPen? Aren't there professionals here that would take care of that? Should it happen?" And then their answer is, yeah, we have a doctor here and if she has a serious reaction, we'll get her to the hospital. I'm like, get her to the hospital. You're at the place where you're supposed to know what to do when someone has an allergy attack that's this serious. There's nothing, there's nothing you can do here. You're relying on my EpiPen and my knowledge of how to get to the hospital from here in order to

protect my child. This doesn't feel very legit to me. This exposure therapy seems like exposure therapy for your wallet. You're exposing my money to your wallet. Fuckers. I mean, honestly, I'm just saying, I'm just saying if you've had exposure therapy, don't yell at me. I'm just a thing. I'm just a person trying to make it in the world. Chrissy. It's fine for your life. It's fine for my life. All right, well, we do want to thank Neil. Go to NeilBrennan.com, join the mailing list. He'll make you join the mailing list. Don't you worry about that.

I joined. I joined. There's two more. He's probably up above 100 now. Which is still more than we have. Well, we're getting close. We're at 57 now. 42 of which are Neil's brothers and sisters. Right.

I mean, you would hope that at least he has a couple of his. And I realize he can't be close to all of them, but you would hope that at least a few of them are on his side, paying attention. Yeah, I think his brother is a comic too. Okay, so NeilBrennan.com, go watch the Netflix special out now, today. Delay no longer, wait no longer. The moratorium is over.

Neil's new special can be watched right this second. So go and watch it. We certainly would appreciate it. We'll put all the links in the show notes. Make sure you got the proper information. Yeah, what else is there to say? I think that's it. Neil was great.

Thanks, Neil, for coming on the show. And we'd also like to tell you we'd like you on the show. How do you do that? We got to text us. You got to text us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 1-212-433-3822 for those of you that can't spell TCB. Let us know. You want to be on the show? You have an Ask TCB? You'd like to tell us a story? You have anything interesting? We'll take it. We want you here just as much as we want our famous friends

like Neal Brennan on the show. We want our unfamous friends on the show too. So text us and let us know. Comments, questions, concerns, content, ideas. You can leave us a voicemail, all that stuff at that phone number, 212-433-3TCB. You can go to tcbpodcast.com if you want more information on the show, all the audio, all the video right there, one location. You can also get your free Piggy Frontingting sticker if they're still around at this point when we release this show. Hit the contact us button. I want my free sticker on the drop down menu.

Give us your address. We'll send it off to you. But those piggy fronting stickers, if they're still around, will be gone soon and we'll have to think of the next one. We're already working on it. You can also find us at youtube.com slash the commercial break at the commercial break on Instagram and TCB podcast on tick tock. We would appreciate it if you patron our sponsors.

Thank you so much to everyone. All right, Chrissy, I definitely know that's all I can do. Thanks. All right, I'll tell you, I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. Oh, hell yeah!