The Commercial Break - TCB Special Election Coverage!

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

Episode #576: Former President Trump & President Biden join Bryan & Krissy at TCB to “discuss” all things “politics” in a very cool, chill, and coherent way. YeeAHHhh! We’re getting poly-charged here at TCB today The Olympics continue Breakdancing! Simone Biles, greatest athlete of our time!!!!! Making America the home of bitcoin, dogecoin, and fake news Old guys running for pres Trump’s eating habits He is very much in love! Trump’s audio hole Sleepovers with Kim Biden’s various ailments Biden knows the difference between cow and chicken! Ukraine & Putin Biden’s stand-up jet skis Austin Nasso! Tech roast Tech bros vs AI Delulu tech companies Start up scams Austin’s viral impression journey TCB Live September 24th & 25th in Florida! Special guest: Austin Nasso Watch Austin's Videos Here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOGKa4-jBxlgcrrIhzDV47w https://www.tiktok.com/@austinnasso?lang=en Follow Austin on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/austinnasso/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/techroastshow/?hl=en VISIONARY BILLIONAIRE GENIUS Podcast Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB FOLLOW US: INSTAGRAM:   https://www.instagram.com/thecommercialbreak/ https://www.instagram.com/bryanwgreen/ https://www.instagram.com/tcbkrissy/ YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@tcbpodcast Visit our website:  https://tcbpodcast.com/ CREDITS: Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer:  Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Make your nights unforgettable with American Express. Unmissable show coming up? Good news. We've got access to pre-sale tickets so you don't miss it. Meeting with friends before the show? We can book your reservation and when you get to the main event, skip to the good bit using the card member entrance. Let's go seize the night. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash y amex. Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. You can take my ears, but you cannot take my liberty. They want to cut off my ears like the Taliban,

but what they don't know is my ears can grow back like SpongeBob through budding, by the way. Hit me with your best shot, why don't you? Because if that's the best you got you're a loser. You're such a loser you missed so bigly by the way you had a big opportunity you could have made my head blow up on TV but you didn't do that did you? Now my ear is going to grow back bigger and better it will have better hearing I will hear like an owl.

hearing I will hear like an owl. On this episode of the commercial break. But luckily you know I have very good genetics, I have a lot of stem cells and quite frankly it grew back bigger and better and you know you look in my ear now it's quite frankly one of the bigger ears and it even has echo location now they you know they gave it an enhancement it can now I'm walking around I hear all this buzzing they're telling me it's electromagnetic waves like a bat all of a sudden all of a sudden you know first my eerie shot next thing I know I'm catching bugs at night. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.

Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the Jojo to my Chapelle. Kristen Joy Oldley. Best to you. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. I have to say when you did the yeah.

Yeah. I've been doing that like all around my house. Yeah. Yeah. I get into election season and I'm like, yeah. Oh, the Olympics. Yeah. I love it.

Thanks everybody for joining us today. We're very excited because I do believe, Chr Chrissy that we probably have reached the pinnacle of commercial breakdom here at the commercial break as we have convinced them commercial break them. The commercial break summer is on TCB summer is on. Yeah. And I believe yeah. Yeah. It fits with so many different things. It does. It really does. It's everything. Yeah! Yeah, boy! Yeah, those two even go together. Because I believe we probably have managed to score the best guests, the best phone interviews we're ever going to have on the commercial break today, in one day, at one time, right now. You are in for a treat. And let me tell you who we've got

coming up. Former president Donald Trump, current president Joseph R. Biden are going to be here with us this episode. So you do not want to miss it. It's going to be an amazing and exciting opportunity to talk to two political heavyweights. Yeah. I mean, you really scored that. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Astrid. Thank you. Thank you.

Yes, thanks, Astrid. It's all Astrid's fault. And so we're very excited to talk to both of those folks. I love them, hate them, whatever you think about them. You know, they're former, it's a former president and a president. They're big deals. Yeah, you got to accept the invitation. When we come a calling and they say, oh, yes, we have to then follow through because, you

know, we'll try to get to you overly politically. You know how the commercial rake rolls, but we do have to ask them a few questions. Maybe I'll ask them heavy hitting questions. Probably not, but we'll let them do the talking for the most part. How's that? That sounds good. The Olympics continue. Very excited.

Probably be talking about this for the next couple of weeks because let's face it, that's what's going on is the Olympics. And Chrissy and I- We're both big fans. We're both big fans. And one of the things that I did not know was in the Olympics that Chrissy shed some light on is break dancing? Yeah. Breaking? Is that what they call it? Yeah, breaking.

So how do they score that? I don't know. We're about to find out. Well, I mean, I guess they do do like interpretive, like gymnastic dance with like, you know. Yeah. I would think how hard something is, how many times you, you know, can spin. You put together tricks, your difficulty level, all that stuff. Yeah. I was watching.

I'm so excited to see it. I know me too. I was watching Miss Biles last night, Badass Biles. She's back, baby. I mean, yeah. She is. And she's just incredible. But I mean, one of the best of all time. Or not the best of all time. Yeah, I think we can officially put a cap on that. She's the best of all time. Not only has she won gold medals, been in multiple Olympics, won multiple championships, done, or has done national championships, world championships, has done things that no other gymnast, not even male gymnasts have attempted, but she does it over and over and

over again. And then had an undoing in Tokyo, but came back from it to win another world championship, national championship, doing some of the same stuff that kind of did her head in a little bit over in Tokyo. It's like an amazing story that you can't get over. And last night, the arena packed with celebrities watching, and we're recording this obviously earlier in the week, but packed with celebrities to see her do her thing. And man, did she kick some fucking ass. And she even has a hurt foot.

I know. Thank God. It's like, she powers through. She went 13 feet, seven inches in the air on one of her, like, oh, what do they call them? Tumble passes? One of her tumble passes, 13.7 feet in the fucking air. That is higher than a basketball hoop.

I mean, and you know, like, you imagine Michael Jordan flying from the, you know, from the free throw line and doing a slam dunk. It seems like Simone could probably do that while flipping in the air and doing multiple twists. And put the ball in the basket. Yes. I wish I had any physical acumen whatsoever,

but my saggy man boobs and dad bod ain't going to get it done. There's still time, Brian, for breaking. No, no, no, no, no. I can do breaking. I want to see you do some breaking. Yeah, like actually breaking a hip. Break while breaking. Do it in points for breaking my hip. I'm breaking.

One of my daughters is like super into gymnastics and dance, and she's way too young for me to even start talking about what the next step is. I just enjoy it, have fun. But she wants me to help her do flips and flip overs. And she needs- She's getting really good at it. She's getting really good at it.

And you know, there are like the teachers at the academy or whatever she's at, the little studio that she goes to. They're already, they're already pushing the money buttons. You can see it. Oh, yeah. Oh, we haven't seen a young lady like this in a long time. She needs four days a week at a special camp where it costs twice as much money and you have to go twice as many times a week. And I'm like, what? Really? And I see how they get you, because you get that pride. You're like, I knew it. You do, yeah, for sure. I see how they get you, because you get that pride. You're like, I knew it. I knew it.

I always knew it. But so, you know, I talked to her, she's not even old enough to understand any of this. And I say, listen, some of the girls, some of the older girls invited you to go to like a different kind of camp where it's more, you're doing it more times a week. And of course the first thing that comes out of her mouth

is yes, I wanna go. Like, of course I do. I'm gonna learn how to flip and twist and spin like Simone and all this other stuff. And I'm like, but daddy can't afford it. Yeah, right now. So I am gonna buy an extra area rug and we're gonna put some double padding on and just,

that's your tumble exercises, just do it there. And she's like, no, daddy, I wanna go five times a week. And I'm like, oh, five times a week. It's like, now I gotta do two commercial breaks, one here and one over at the gym. I'm like, I don't wanna do that. Broadcasting live from the local gymnastics gym. That's right, broadcasting live from the local gymnastics channel. It's right. It just seems like they know how to get you. So, Astrid was saying, she goes, okay, let's just play what if for a moment. What if our daughter is really good at gymnastics? And what if she does have

like a God-given gift to do this or a universe, whatever you want to call it, mother, I don't even care what you call it. What if she has that gift? What does that look like? How much money would we have to spend? How much time do we dedicate? And I said, oh, Astrid. All of it. All of it. All of your money, all of your time. All of the money, all of the time. Hundreds of thousands of dollars. And they said, then when they get to a certain age, which I think for gymnastics, like 12 or 13, 11, 12, 13, if they're

like really exhibiting signs that they can do this very well, then you start getting some breaks. Like they'll, you'll go to a special training camp. They may live there. They may go, you know, they may do school and gymnastics at the same place at the same like facility that the national gymnastics association, whatever the fuck. And she's like, they live there? And I'm like, yeah. And it's not like convenient places downtown Atlanta. It's like central Iowa. That's where you go to get away from all this. She's like, my daughter would go and live somewhere in central Iowa. I go, no, we would go live in central Iowa so that she could do it or commute back and forth

or whatever and she's like, oh, that sounds like fucking shit. And I'm like, yeah, that's why we don't want to like press her into it quite yet. No, just let her have fun for now. Wait until she's 21. She's got a job and she can fend for herself. And then if she wants to go to central Iowa, you know, Simone is 28, I think, so she's still got time.

She'll get to one Olympics maybe. Listen, I'm not trying to knock on the girls' dreams, but I feel for those parents to get all caught up in this kind of stuff. And I know way too many of them. I know at least four parents, at least four in my personal life, who got told the same thing when the kids were very young about baseball, because baseball is big fucking money. But baseball is not always a clear cut road. You don't go to like college and then, there's no fun. You can be either drafted out of college

or you can go to a farm team or you can go to like a double farm team or you can putz around for years. But it's ultra important that they be part of the super ponies right now. Super ponies travel all over the world and it's $10,000 per trip and you gotta have special uniforms

and you gotta go take tests and physio and cardio and all this other stuff. They got all wrapped up in it. Let me tell you where two of those children are right now. Surgeries already, surgeries already, they aren't even 25 years old, surgeries already, zero prospect of playing professional baseball. And the other two kids at some point

when they got into college. They said, nevermind. Yeah, they turned into fish heads and now they're traveling around taking acid. Right, well that's the thing too, I think when you force something on, not force, you think they want, and they want to do it right now.

Yeah, you're right. But yes, when you have too much of it, then I think at some point there's kind of a rebellion, like, wait a minute, I want to try something else with my life, I don't know if I want to dedicate, especially when you start getting into middle school, high school. Yeah, I'm just wondering if like, yeah, listen, I don't knock any parent's choice. I know now as a parent, never knock another parent's choice,

unless hitting them is one of those choices, right? Or torturing them or bullying them or whatever. Like anything bad, anything bad, but I'm not knocking another parent's choice. I don't know that I would not have done the same thing faced with the same choices and same attention given to my kid about a particular sport or talent or whatever it is, but I'm just sharing. Like maybe, let's suss it out just a little. Let them tumble on the floor in the living room for a while before we get them into 17 days, you know, 17 practices a week. You need your own like bouncy house out in your yard, you know, where you can have those pad things. One of my brothers bought this daughter, bought her a balance beam that sits on the floor.

It's like a soft balance beam. And so now, but now every time I walk, I know it's going to be requesting me every time I walk into that playroom, she's, daddy, help me do the flip overs. And I'm like, the flip overs are fun for her, but kill my back. Because I'm like, oh, oh, oh, again, again, oh, hundreds of times in a row. But I'm a dad. What am I going to do? Of course I stand there and I take it. I'm going to have to, I'm going to have multiple surgeries. That's what's going to happen. Dad's going to have multiple surgeries. Oh, I think it might be time for president Trump to call in.

I see the red lights. I see the red lights. So let's do this. Let's take a quick break. I know it's short, but this is gonna be a longer episode. Don't worry, we'll get lots of action in today. So let's do this. Let's take a quick break. When we get back, we'll see if this is President Trump. We'll get him on the phone.

Sound good? Sounds like a plan. We'll be back. Hi. No, you're not dreaming. And yes, this is a new promo. See, I made you wait and now look how happy you are. I know, I know you're smiling.

Anyway, since we're here, why don't you just hop on over to Instagram and give us a follow at the commercial break. Seriously, please, it's getting hard for me to listen to Brian and Chrissy Begg. So just follow us on Instagram again, that's at the commercial break. You can also follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast.

And of course, you know where to go for all things TCB. That is TCB podcast.com baby. And of course, you can always text us or call us and leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. Yep, that phone number is no longer new, but it is still around. And that's a win. 212-433-3TCB. Love you, bye. This is an ad by BetterHelp.

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Very excited. The commercial break has managed to score a short, but hopefully sweet interview with Mr. Former President Donald Trump. Let's see if Mr. President Trump is on the phone. Good afternoon, President Trump. Thank you for joining us very much. We really appreciate it.

You know, it's so great to be here by the way, on the commercial break. What a, what an incredible honor to be here. They do podcasts. We love, we love to see it. We love it. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. We often say that you're either on your way up or on your way down when you join us here at the commercial break. That's true. That's true. I'm doing very well by the way. I have a lot of friends, a lot of friends, a lot of friends. I see you made a lot of friends at the Bitcoin conference this last Saturday, former President Trump. You know what? Bitcoin, a lot of people, they say it's imaginary, the money, they say it's not real, but we

know it's real. We know it's real and we want to make the United States the capital of Bitcoin. We're going to have the apes and the D-gens. Some of them, I don't know if I could say this, but they call themselves as they say they are retard. I don't know. That's what they say. They say that they call themselves that. And we're going to make America the home of the, the Bitcoin and the also the

ape and they're doing meme meme coin and doji dog with an e Dog with the knee are you familiar with dog with the knee doji? Yes, I've heard doji coin I think I I stayed away from it luckily, but president trouble. Let me ask you a question It's my understanding that you don't really even email or use a computer. Do you have any Bitcoin? You know what? It's fake news because I know I use computers more than anybody. And quite frankly I have a very good computer. It is an Apple. They call it the Apple II. That's what they call it. And it is as big as a living room. Did you know that?

I do. It is so big and it has these fans. They're roaring, roaring. It has 1000, I think it is kilobytes, kilobytes of memory, more memory than most people. Speaking of memory, Mr. Trump, I understand we've all been hearing the news. So it's hard to ignore really, quite frankly, your former opponent, President Joe Biden has dropped out of the race. How do you feel about that? You know, it makes sense. He dropped out and the question is, was he even ever in it? You know, you have a man running a race.

He can't even run or walk or crawl. You know, it's so sad. You see a man and he falls up the stairs more times than he can count. Should he be running for president? We don't know. We don't know. Little Joe, he's probably going to bed early. He is night night. So night night. He's doing night night. But president Trump, you really aren't that far off the mark either because you're going

to be Joe Biden's age in just a couple of years. So if you were to win the election, then you would. You know what? I am a young, I'm like a spring chicken, you know, 79. I'm very young. I'm younger than most people. I don't know if I have grandchildren. I'm younger than them. I'm also younger than my, I'm younger than my dad.

He is dead, but I'm younger than him. I'm younger than, and you know, here's the thing, here's the thing, Brian, there's a lot of people and you don't know this, but they're very, very like most people that have walked the earth. You have billions of people. You know, there's eight, seven, eight billion people on the planet that are alive, but you know what they're not talking about? How many people are dead?

How many people are dead? How many people are dead? You have 8 billion alive, how many dead? 100 billion, 200 billion. So quite frankly, I'm younger than all those people and they don't wanna talk about that. I'm younger than all those people who have died thousands of years ago. Well, I do understand you believe

that some of those 100 billion people may have voted for President Joe Biden in the last election. You know, I don't believe it because he's doing, he's doing a fake election. It's rigged. He wants to do, he wants you to be able to mail in letters and vote. Who knows? I don't even know about, they want you to do the mail and you know, it's all, it's a criminal activity. It's a coup d'etat, coup d'etat. And I don't believe it. I think that quite frankly, I won the election fair and square, and you know, I would love to challenge him to maybe an arm wrestle to see quite frankly who should take the throne. Well President Trump, Joe Biden has not challenged you to an arm wrestling match yet, but he

did challenge you to a round of golf. You still believe you could beat him in that round of golf? You know what? I'm better than most people at golf and you know, I'm only a little with the handicap, they have the handicap system. I'm not that handicapped by the way. I can do golf very well. I'm a minus one.

Well, minus one on the handicap. That's, that's incredible. That's a, you're close to, Mr. Trump, if you will. Yes. You know, I'm the only American president who has competed in the PGA and won, quite frankly, every time. PGA. You know, Tiger Woods, he was my protege.

Oh, wow. I did not know that. Tiger Woods and you have played some golf together. I have seen pictures of you and Tiger Woods playing together. Tiger, of course, a legendary coxman. And you got that's what they call him. And, you know, to me, I call him Cub Woods because he's like a little cub to me. I can beat him.

I can beat him with a blindfold on little Cub Woods. Certainly President Trump. Tiny Tiger. Little cub woods. Certainly. President Trump. Tiny tiger. Tiny tiger woods. Come on, tiny. I understand former President Trump that I get concerned about you a little bit because I see what you're eating on those airplanes and the photographs and your famously love

your Big Macs and your KFC and your pizza slices. You think maybe at your age, you should slow down a little bit on the fast food and get some good food? I love McDonald's, McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut. McDonald's, McDonald's,

Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut. I love it very much. I love it a lot. And you know, it's very healthy. You look at, we built the, I don't know if you know this, but we built the food pyramids ourselves. The Americans, we built it and at the bottom there is wheat and there is meat and there is McDonald. Wheat and meat and McDonald's. Very interesting, President Trump. Meat and wheat and McDonald's. Does Melania get on you about this?

How does Melania feel about your general eating habits, your habits in general? You know, Melania, she's doing very well. We're very close. I can tell. We're very much in love, madly in love. You know, Melania, she has a lot of thoughts and I know them very well President Trump beautiful woman We were all very sad and dark dark day to see what happened at your rally a couple of weeks ago when you were Shot in the ear and a parent attack assassination attempt. What a shame. It was a shame. How is shame?

How is your shame? It's a shame. It is a sham? A sham? How is your ear feeling? It's a sham. It's a sham. It's a, you know, first I have one thing if I could say to him, I don't know if he's listening, he might be dead. We're looking into it. I would like to say this to the people they wanted to kill me. Miss me, miss me, and now you have to kiss me. How was your ear feeling? How was your ear feeling? How are you doing?

You know, quite frankly, it's an incredible thing. They tried to kill me. They wanted to blow me up on TV. They wanted to make my head pop. And you know, they couldn't do it. He had a great opportunity. Could you imagine that in the history books? Greatest president of all time, head pops on TV, it would have been so fantastic for the people that hate me. It would have been great. And you know, he had a great opportunity and he squandered it. He really squandered it and he hit my ear. And now my ear will grow back stronger and better than ever before.

I am like a sponge. Like SpongeBob, it will grow back from budding. Ah, it's so SpongeBob got square pet the foot. I just want to ask you this about your your ear it seems that when you when you took the bandage off it didn't look like there was too much damage to your ear so has it regrown already or is you know if you had to see it after it was shot because there wasn't much of an ear i wouldn't even call it an ear i would call it a a nub that can hear audio i would call it more of a an audio hole rather than an ear that's what it was if you've seen

i don't know if you've seen the shrek ears and they're like the long noodles with the hole in it it looked more like that and i didn't want the world to see what the truth they did. But luckily, you know, I have very good genetics. I have a lot of stem cells and quite frankly, it grew back bigger and better. And you know, you look in my ear now, it's quite frankly, one of the bigger ears and it even has echo location. Now they, you know, they gave it an enhancement. It can now, I'm walking around, I hear all this buzzing.

They're telling me it's electromagnetic waves like a bat. All of a sudden, all of a sudden, you know, first my ear is shot. Next thing I know, I'm catching bugs at night. President Trump, after the assassination attempt, shortly after the RNC convention, of course, President Biden announced that he would not run for reelection due to all the concerns around his age and his appearance at the debate. And now it appears that we have Kamala Harris.

Kamala Harris is going to be the next opponent you're going to have to face in this election. How do you feel about Kamala? You know, Koala the Ferris Wheel, by the way, you know, she means well. She's trying her best, but you know, we know the truth. She puts a lot of people behind bars. She wants to turn our country into a communism. She wants to... She likes... She's a Soviet, by the way. Oh, I did not know that. She's a Soviet.

Come on, come on, come on. Let's see the birth certificate. We know you were born in Soviet Kazakhstan. President Trump, if you're reelected, I know that there are a lot of trimmings that come with the office. And so what are you going to do? What is going to be your favorite part about being back at the White House if you should win this November?

Decorating! We're going to make it very pretty. We're going to change the color scheme. We have a beautiful baby blue and a gold color scheme. We're going to add some mahogany shelves and cabinets. We're doing a full renovation and we are changing the whole thing. We are going to remodel it. New cabinets, new floors. Wow. It's going to be beautiful. One more question for you. I know your time is limited, former President Trump. If you

should be back in office, would you agree to meet the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un one more time? I know you met him a couple times when you were in office previously. You know, a lot of people, they look at little rocket Kim and little rocket boy and they say, you know, they think so badly of him. And quite frankly, you know, I see a poor boy, a poor man, he was probably bullied a lot growing up and I feel bad for the guy. My heart goes out to him and you know, quite frankly, we're very good

friends. We play Xbox Live every night. We play Call of Duty. Call of Duty and you know, he's very good by the way. I have to give credit where credit is due. He's very good at Call of Duty. And I want to play with Kim. We're going to probably have sleepovers and maybe play Twister. And you know, he's a good friend of mine, and we're friends, and I don't care what they say because he is my best friend. Well, President Trump, best of luck to you

in this upcoming election. It's gonna be a tight one. We all know that for sure. No matter who wins. It's going to be very tight one. We all know that for sure. No matter who wins. It's going to be very tight. And you know, at the end of the day, whether who wins, I would like to remember this, that you should remember that I won. Regardless of who wins, I won. And I'm the emperor. Yeah. Well, that's what you've said, President Trump. And to you, I say good luck, sir.

And what an honor to have former President Trump here. Thank you so much. And I would like to say thank you to Elon, my loyal steward of darkness. Elon's an interesting character and I see why you're friends, President Trump. Thank you again. Thank you. I'm going to Puerto Rico. Wow. Former President Trump. How about that? That was a major score.

That was a big score. So informative. So open and honest about everything. I'm not sure I agree with everything he said, but part of the problem in America right now is that we can't have a civil disagreement. So while I don't agree with President Trump on everything, it was nice to have him here, it was very nice to talk to him. I do think he should cut down on the KFC and Big Macs and pizza, let me say. Big Macs, pizza, McDonald's, Big Mac, pizza, McDonald's.

I was very informative about the food pyramid. I had no idea. McDonald's is on there. Yeah, meat. Meat, meat. Meat, meat. I was very informative about the food pyramid. McDonald's is on there. Meat, meat, Big Macs. Very good, very nice. Well, as you know, Chrissy, we can't have one without the other. We wouldn't do that to you.

I think it's only fair that we talk to the current president, President Biden. So let's do this. We'll take a short break. I see that phone ringing again, right on time as everyone's so hurt. The switchboard is lighting up. Yes. I think we're getting a call from the operator at the White House as we speak. So let's take a break. And when we come back, we'll answer that phone call and see if we can't talk to President Biden. We'll be back. What's up haters? Now let's get down to business.

If you've got something to say, say it to our faces. And by that, I mean, text us or call us at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. You can and should also find us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast, unless you wanna fight me, in which case don't. And if you're just desperate to see our shining faces in person, keep your ears peeled for ticketing information about TCB Live.

As always, don't forget that you can find everything you could possibly need to find on our beautiful website, tcbpodcast.com. Bye. I don't think it would be fair for us to have former president Trump on unless we had an opportunity to speak with current president Joe Biden. I think we have to. We're fair and balanced. Fair and balanced here at the commercial break.

So here he is. He's on the phone with us now. President Biden, such an honor to talk to you this afternoon. Hello, Biden. Told you stop calling this number. I apologize. Oh, hi, President Biden. It's a Chrissy and Brian from the commercial break. I'll speak up so you can hear me.

Oh, it's Chrissy and Brian. Whoa, folks, pleasure. Commercial break. First time my career commercials are calling me, folks, pleasure. Commercial break. First time in my career that commercials are calling me. Man, look. Well, it's such an honor to have you on, sir. First of all, how are you feeling? I understand you just got over COVID.

Folks, look, I just got over smallpox. You know, where I was sitting, they put me in an infirmary. I was in a hospital bed and the man next to me was dying of gangrene. Folks, vaccination, bro, vaccinations are the key. Get vaccinated, get oscillated. Look, fact is, I was not bad at covert case. I was a little baby covert case. I got a little small, I got chicken pox.

You got chicken pox and small pox. I got a little small, I got a little, I got chicken pox. Chicken pox and small pox. Chicken pox, my arms were itchy. My, of course, late 19, early 1900s, they gave the Native Americans a small pox blanket. It's not the right thing to do. Not the right thing to do at all. Of course. President Biden, you shocked a lot of people a couple of Sundays ago,

announcing that you would not run for reelection. You're one of three or four presidents who have not, uh, sought the incumbency. How did you come to this decision? For the sake of American people, for a second democracy, folks, I have fantastic term, I did a lot of great work, folks, for great work. For example, anyway, look, we're saying to my, I deserve a run again. I know I can run again. Folks, for the Democratic Party, you don't want me,

but look, fact of the matter is I had a great term. I had a great season. Season tickets, folks. Tis a season of me, golly. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, man. Look, when I was a little boy, I was 47 years old playing in a metal scrap field

in Scranton, Transylvania. When a train coming one way, a train coming the other way, they were about to collide. I was sitting in the middle of the train tracks, dousing myself in oil. And I said, and that's all we had back then. We didn't have toys, we didn't have anything.

And then we had kids that were climbing my leg hair like the vineyard Vines. Folks, fact is, that's what America's about. That's what it's about. It's about the American people. It's about scratching your back with a hammer. Hit them hard, starting a popsicle stand. President Biden, you grew up with a stutter.

You overcame incredible odds and tragedy to get where you're at today. 50 plus years in public service. And I think you probably end on a high note and almost anybody would be proud of, which is to be the president of the United States. It's hard to give up power like that, sir. An honorable career. Just a little boy with stutter born in the early 1600s. Back in the day, they would Folks, you know what they're,

back in the day they would get those kids, they'd throw their babies off the mountains. Really? Folks, if you had stutter, they'd throw you right off the mountain. Look, folks, it's not the same. I have 575 years of service as American democracy. Look, everything happens for a reason.

It does, sir. It does. And I think most level-headed people would consider it an act of patriotism to decide to step down, not seek reelection. At your age, sir, all of us are going to get there. Malarkey! Malarkey. Malarkey.

I am not an old man. I passed very, very, folks, they gave me very challenging tests, cognitive tests. I could tell the difference between cow and chicken. Folks, look, I know the difference between the word egg and the word stove. Look. the word egg and the word stove. Fact is, if I could describe America in one word, one word only. I think I heard some David Lee Roth in there. I know, or at least the music that was playing when you did the famous dance

at Juneteenth. Oh, Skinnamorinky dinky dink, look. Skinnamorinky doo. Erinky doo. Scooby doo. So people- Scooby-dee-dinky, Scooby-doo. Some people have said, I don't know if I agree with them, some people have said,

it might've been challenging for you to win against president Trump, especially after the assassination attempt, he had a lot of momentum going into that. Uh, I understand that you felt strongly you could win the election. Do you agree that it might have been a challenge to beat President Trump? Folks, look, the fact of the matter is we missed. I mean, folks, folks, look, no, no, that's not what I meant. Look, anyway, President, horrible travesty happens in American politics. Not don't assassinate president. Look, you got to win fair and square. You

do have to always got to win. We got to win with the ballots when arm wrestles, tussle challenge Donald Donald Duck. I challenge you to a tussle. Well, we just had a monster and he said he would arm wrestle you anytime. I'm sure we could make that tussle happen if that's what you're, if that's what you're. Meet me behind the pub in the town square and we'll have a jig in the alleyway.

President- I'll show you the old two times too, come on. President Biden, you know, a lot of people at your age, they decide to settle down and they pick up a hobby, maybe go, a lot of people at your age, they decide to settle down and they pick up a hobby, maybe go on a cruise or two. What do you think you're going to do once you retire the office? Die. Joking around all jokes.

Look, jokes aside, fact is I'm going to probably run for Senator. You're going to run for Senator. You're going to go back to the Senate? I'll be senator of the great state of China. I think your age would be more appropriate in the Senate. I think most of those people are in their 80s actually. Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna run President Putin.

I'm gonna be Putin. Oh, you're gonna beat Putin. I think Putin is the president of Russia, sir. Folks, I'm gonna beat Putin. Putin has to be stopped. He does. Folks, Putin's a great friend of mine, President of Ukraine. Ah. How does...

I'm running for Senator of Ukraine. Senator of Ukraine, sir. There's a lot of drama going on over there and you've, uh, steadfastly believed that the Ukrainian people should be, uh, should have their own freedom. And, uh, people have freedom. People should have freedom. Let me ask you something. Uh, president Biden, what does Dr.

Jill Biden think about your retirement? Are you concerned that the two of you will get on each other's nerves? Folks look, Dr. Seuss, she's a good friend of mine. We have folks, we have, uh, we have a red chair, blue chair, green chair, yellow chair, big chair, small chair. We have enough chairs to go around. I think we got the chairs covered. Look, fact of the matter is everyone deserves freedom.

I agree with you. President Biden, there's a big election coming up. You say folks a lot, President Biden, but so does the actual President Biden. folks a lot, uh, uh, president Biden, but so does the actual press. You have now, uh, thrown your support behind Kamala Harris for president, which I do believe what it takes to beat president, former president Trump. Folks care bears the greatest president in the world. Look, I remember when I first built her, I was inside the mall, the second floor. I sewed the heart right in and I said, I love you, con bon bon.

I sewed it right into the Care Bear. Oh, that was very nice. And I said, one day you're going to be president of the United Grapes of Australia. Well, President Biden, I do have to applaud you, sir. I think you did an honorable thing stepping away from re-election, seeking re-election. And I know you're very busy back at Camp David probably taking a nap. Oh yeah, I'm riding jet skis. Hey, listen, at your age you probably should. Stand up jet skis. Yeah, stand up jet ski. All right, I'm riding one with a stand. jet skis. Yeah. Stand up jet ski. All right, I can still do it.

I still got it. Well, I still got it right at stand up one, 70 miles an hour. There's a toned in tube behind me. That gimpy leg, you shouldn't be standing up at all. Take my great grandchildren tubing. Oh, you did. Yeah, well, put the little baby in the back of the tube, take her for a whirlwind.

It sounds dangerous, President Biden. Little baby in a basket and tube. President Biden, I really appreciate your time today. It's been such an honor to have you, sir. Well, look, the same fact of the matter is we're going to do better. We got to do better. We got to do, um. Yes. I think I'll let you go now.

Beth Dombkowski Thank you for being here. Jared Ranere Who am I? Beth Dombkowski Thank you very much, President Biden. Jared Ranere Folks. Beth Dombkowski Joseph R. Biden. Beth Dombkowski Whoa. Jared Ranere President Biden. What an honor. What an honor. Beth Dombkowski Oh my God, I know.

Jared Ranere Not sure I understood what he was talking about, but that's okay. No, I could feel the aviators through the phone lines. Yes. He had to have those on. Yeah, I wonder if his dog was chewing on his leg. He's like six dogs over there and they've all bitten somebody. I do remember one biting. Well, I think there's been multiple men as dogs

under the Biden administration, which is just so funny to keep the dogs, you know, what is it? Blue? You got blue up there in the White House? What's up? Don't you think you'd have the best dog trainers in the world available to take care of? I should have asked them about that. But I was having a hard time understanding the questions I was asking you. It was folks. That folks gets me every time. All right. So let's take another break. Sorry about this, guys. It's just a long episode today. Let's take another break. And then Chrissy and I'll be back, yeah, to wrap

this whole thing up. We'll be back. Look, I spend all day every day listening to Brian and Chrissy. So the least you could do is text them and tell them how much you love me. Okay? So text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB and follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and don't forget TikTok at TCB Podcast. And if you want to show us how much you really love us, come to our live shows. Any and all information about TCB Live will be on tcpodcast.com. And then we can all giggle together in person. Yay. And we're back. We just had a chance to talk to President Trump, former President Trump.

That was incredible. Wow. What an opportunity. However, that wasn't the real President Biden or Trump. Yeah, Chrissy, sorry to break the fourth wall here. But it was our guest today, Austin Nasso, who thank you, it's Nasso, excuse me. I keep on saying Nasso, it's Nasso.

Austin, thank you for joining at the beach. Hi Austin. Hey Austin, how are you? Hello, thanks for having me guys. No, thank you so much for being here. You really are spot on with those impressions. Yeah, you nailed those. Thank you.

Yeah, so tell us a little bit about yourself. You're a stand-up comedian. You've been doing this for, you told us a decade and some change. Yeah, I can give you my whole life story. We have plenty of time. This is your life. I'm a, this is your life.

Here's my life story. I've been doing stand-up comedy for, I guess, 11 years now. I started when I was 18. I'm 29. And I'll give you the backstory and the impressions. In college, me and my roommate at the time would do, I would always do impressions growing up. But then in the 2016 election, me and my college roommate would do like Trump impressions to one another. And we would always like do it at parties and stuff and compete. And it's funny because we both went on to like, have top, like, I don't know, like really viral Trump impressions on Tik Tok. Right. He did it first.

And then I started doing it honestly. And, um, I think it's just a voice that came naturally to me because I was telling you earlier, but my mom kind of like sounds like Trump in a way, like the specific way she nags me. She'll just be like, she'll call me and be like, Austin, what's the matter? You don't call your mother. You don't love your mother. What's the matter? You hate your mother.

Why don't you call your mother? You hate her, don't you? You know, your mother is so good to you. She's so good to you. Like the way like that tone. I think you made a connection earlier that I didn't get, but now I understand it. It's kind of like a naggy Jewish mother, like that New York, you know, kind of thing going on. And like, I don't know what you're talking about. Like, I don't even know what to call

that kind of tone, her perspective, but just like sarcastic and like, I don't know, like naggy. I don't know. Yeah. But like, um, so that kind of came naturally to me. And, um, I was also a, uh, software engineer, but I had quit. Uh, I was a software engineer at Microsoft for four years. Oh, wow. Well, this has got to be much more fun. Yeah. Yeah. And so now you're, you're touring around. You, you do, I see on your, at least Instagram, yeah. Yeah. And so now you're touring around. I see on your, at least Instagram, you've done some club dates, you're working the room.

Yeah. And so your virality, I mean, I was telling the story to Austin, but it was Astrid who actually found you. She'd been following you for a while. And every once in a blue moon, she would stick you in my face, stick her phone in my face.

You gotta watch this guy. He's like, he's- So funny. And then I said, oh, we gotta get this guy on the show. I had no idea, no clue that you've also, this has really taken you places. Like you've been on Stern. Is there any place else you've been showcased

with these impressions? Stern is the biggest one probably. Like they reached out to me beginning of last year. Until now. Until now, until the commercial break. Yes, well commercial breaks are a little bigger. And then, yeah, they hit me up and I was doing like Joe Pesci and like Trump and DeSantis even. But other than that, what other big, yeah, honestly, I think

Stern was the, I mean, obviously commercial break. I don't think, yeah, not any other, I mean, I'd like to do more like TV thing. Sure. I haven't. Yeah. I think they should use you on TV. I think it's an election season. There's got to be some shows out there. I hope so. Yeah, we'll see. Yeah. I hope your agent's working on that for you, because they really are incredible impressions. And then at times there's even, is that makeup, are you doing like a filter sometimes? My wife has shown me a few where it looks like you put some like actual gear on. Well, there was, recently I did one with makeup.

Yeah. Cause I was like filming a YouTube sketch. So then I just did a TikTok while I was on set. But usually I'm just like not doing any makeup and I'm just like, yeah, doing the faces and stuff. Yeah. Actually you got the face. Closing your eyes with the Biden clinch.

It's so good. So have you been doing club dates and stuff like that? Yeah. So, um, I'm going to soon announce fall dates for my standup. And then I also tour around with, um, tech Ro show. I'm one of the co-founders of that, where we go around the country and we roast tech people. Now, do you roast them to their face?

Like are they in the room? Like at conferences? Yeah, they're all tech people that buy tickets on their own volition. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. So my next ones that I'm doing are

August 8th in New York City, Tech Row Show. Oh, I'm doing August 7th. I'm doing August 7th and September 12th. I'm doing standup in New York. Okay. I'm producing a standup slash character show. And then, yeah, August 8th, I'm doing a Tech Row Show in New York. August 9th, doing a Tech Row Show in Chicago.

And then like the week of the August 19th, we're going to Seattle and San Francisco for tech roast show. Oh, that's awesome. That's a big one. Yeah. That's a big one. I don't know if we're announcing it yet. But by the time it's out, we'll have it.

We're going to India in October for tech roast show. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's going to be a fun one. So give us the premise of the show. Like you set up on a dais and people come up and then you roast them, or do you pick people out of the crowd? Yeah, so it's sort of like a three person crowd work show where will everyone who's

like, most of our fans are like engineers or PMs or like these like people in tech, but you don't have to be in tech to enjoy the show. A lot of CEOs will come. So we'll like call on founders and make fun of their like startups. And then we'll like leverage our screen behind us, like do a deep dive on them to find like information about them and roast them. Um, we'll do like games we made with AI, um, where we'll like put the. Like software engineer, like awkward tech people against an AI to see who

could be more empathetic. Wow. That's awesome. It's a really fun show. And then you also have a podcast, right? That you started. Yes. Tech Roast Show is a podcast that I'm on and a host of called a Visionary Billionaire Genius

Podcast. I love that name. Yeah. So we get tech people who we've never met before, like CEOs or founders, and they tell us their company and we just make fun of them. Oh, that's brilliant. The crowd work is some of my favorite type of comp. Well, you do it well. If you do it well, it's really fucking funny. And I know a lot of people are into crowd work, but there's some folks who are into crowd work, but I think that it's like very hit or miss,

but if you can do it, you can do it funny. And I think you have a focus. So that may make it even more like funny is that you specifically roast tech bros, right? Tech geniuses that are out there. That makes it really fun to roast it. They're like, just the air of deck people is just so, like everyone's so like privileged

and like has so much money. And honestly people are like, it's almost a delusional environment. It's gotta be. Right, and you were in it for four years too, so. Yeah, I was merely a little cog of a, you know, in the system as a software engineer at Microsoft. So I wasn't in like the startup part of it.

But like there's, yeah, there's like the big tech side. There's, yeah, there's like the traditional, like slower paced monolith organizations that you could just be part of. And those are more like, you get a high salary and it's like somewhat stable of a career. Yeah. And like the professionals are there. And then you have like these startups where like early 20 something people will get millions of dollars from venture capitalists and kind of just wing it. And it's like a really fast paced, chaotic environment. I wasn't part of that, but it's interesting to see them and laugh at them.

And they're all in like building AI companies now, of course, pivoting from web three to AI. Yeah, it's just an influx of cash. I was part of a startup company, it was like seven of us. And we got funded, we got like, you know, round A, angel seed investing type stuff. And it had to do with fantasy fucking sports. This is like the early 2000s when all of this stuff

was just kind of coming online, right? Yahoo and all these players were getting into the game and there was a fantasy sports company. And I'm telling you what, the guy who ran the company went from like struggling to pay his rent to like buying the walkie talkie that Captain Kirk used in the original Star Trek episode for like 35% above asking overnight.

It was unbelievable. The amount of cash that these guys were burning, this guy specifically, was burning through with no intended purpose for the company. It was like the company was flailing and he was like, I got a brand new car. Wait, was he using the company funding to get rich? I don't wanna say that on air, but I can only assume.

His fortunes changed really quick. He probably gave himself some huge fat salaries. This is what I've observed that it's like, most businesses you think, like if you're like a person getting into business, like a sane regular person, you're trying to start like a profitable business. Like, all right, how can I make a business?

Like, uh, what is it called? Like the business design? What, uh, business, what's the business strategy? What's the thing called the business plan? Wow. I don't know. Yeah. Business blueprint.

Um, yeah, you're like, let me make a business plan. Let me think it through. I'm going to figure out how to make this thing profitable in like, you know, a few months, but like in Silicon Valley, it's like, all right, I have this ridiculous idea, let me get funding based on having this network of people I know and this skill set. Yes. And then you get a shit ton of money, you raise a lot of money on an idea, and then you start building out an organization, hiring people, and then you start building out an organization hiring people, and then

you don't even have a profitable thing. You just have this idea and a hunch that it might work. And then you just keep raising investor rounds, and then you'll skim some percentage points off the top each time. So you're personally accumulating millions of dollars. And then meanwhile, you have this big bloated organization with a ton of cash in it that doesn't necessarily reflect the reality

that people want to purchase this thing. That's right. And then you're just, and then it'll like collapse, but you've already skimmed your money off the top in the investor rounds. So you could be like a completely failed founder who's never made anything meaningful or had a product that was like widely adopted and just like keep rinsing and repeating of getting in

like 80% of the way and just like making money from like investors. Yeah. And I imagine that's like how a lot of like tech entrepreneurs are making money. Yeah. It's a whole cyclical thing. It's an ecosystem over there. It's a write-off. They understand, the investors understand, the investors who are billionaires many times over have hedge funds that are just dumping money into them, understand if it doesn't win, it's a tax write-off. If it wins, then the small tiny percentage that win cover almost all the losses.

Like Amazon and Netflix are examples of companies that for so many years were completely unprofitable, brand new ideas, but the people who ran those companies were really good at raising money and keeping people interested in their idea. And, but there are millions of companies that never, their idea never went in, they never even made a product. Right?

And they just keep on sucking up this money, but it's part of the equation. It's part of the ecosystem. It's how they live. And it's a world that I can only imagine or dream, most of us can only imagine or dream of living in or roasting the people who do that. Yeah, I like the roasting part better, I think.

Yeah, that's right. It's really a really fascinating environment, definitely. Yeah, I actually think that's a winner of an idea. I think that's like a winner of a podcast, a winner of a live show. Go raise some money. Yeah, you should go raise some money. Thanks, yeah.

I'm not sure what we would do with it yet, but we probably should raise money from now on. Make the show bigger, make it better, make it more flashy. Buy some walkie talkies. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, walkie talkies. Star Trek walkie talkies.

Yeah, buy some memorabilia. There's like a famous episode of Star Trek, which I have not, you know, the original I've seen some episodes of, but there's a famous episode that's called The Tribbles, and it's like these little tiny little fuzz balls in the show where they just kind of start like, like multiplying. And so every scene there's more tribbles, just like these big fuzzy stuffed animals,

essentially. But they're worth like hundreds of thousands of dollars if you can find an original one. And this guy was like, he was trying, he was on a mission to find as many as he could. And I'm like, hey, should we actually try and make this company work? Do you think we need customers? And he's like, I need Trebles. And I'm like, Trebles, what are you doing over there?

So it's still around, right? Yeah, what's that? It's still around, right? It closed nine months after it opened. It just became another write-off. Austin, you are brilliant, brother. Your impressions, I mean, obviously they've gone viral all over the place.

Did you expect this to happen? Like, are you surprised by the success? Not really, I mean, I always thought I was a funny fellow, but I never knew if I would go viral. I always wanted to because I thought that would help jump start my comedy career. And I'm grateful that it did. Yeah.

Does your old college roommate also do comedy as well, or the other one that went viral? Not really. Yeah. He's in tech. Yeah. He's kind of, yeah, he's in tech. He is actually.

Yeah. Austin's got more skill, Austin's got a better skill set. He's got something to fall back on. You need to come down to Atlanta, do a show down there. Austin's got more skill. Austin's got a better skill set. He's got something to fall back on. You need to come down to Atlanta. Do a show down there. Do a show down in Atlanta. Have you done one yet?

Yeah, we're actually probably going to next year. Well, yeah, we will for sure. If you come, we're going to see you. So give out your personal social so that people can see you. Yes. I am at Austin Nasso, a U S T I N N A S S O. Okay. And then check out tech roast show at tech roast show.

Yeah. Please follow the podcast. We'll put all of the links in the show notes. We'll talk about this probably tomorrow on forever and ever. Amen. Also Austin, would you come back to the show? Because we, uh, I feel like we're going to need more of your, your, you're on the spot.

Yeah. I'd love to. You gotta learn a Kamala voice now. Oh yeah. I'm Kamala's up next. Let me know. I'll do some Zuckerberg and Elon. I'll save some more for next time.

Zuckerberg and Elon. I love that. So let me know. Um, I need to, uh, especially because we're, um, we just record a bunch of video episodes of our new podcast. They said we need to go on podcasts and promote it. I have no idea what I'm doing. You still are. I will happily give you any impressions you want and let me know.

Thank you. You're welcome back anytime. We'll set it up and I promise it won't be long when you get those videos out, we will be here for you. You're here for us, we're here for you. That's the way it works. Austin Nasso, very talented young man making waves out there on social media and now live. Thank you also for joining us today. Thanks, Austin.

Thank you guys, appreciate it. Yeah. Bye. Wow, what a talented guy. Oh my God, I love the man behind the voices. Man behind the voices. We got it. We got it captured.

That was really fun. I know that there's a lot of headless voice stuff that goes on in like, you know, radio and stuff like that. He was telling us he's been on Stern for a while and they never like talked to Austin, the actual guy. Right, no, I wanted to talk to him and hear his life story. But then what, you know, what are you doing it for if you're not coming on to promote yourself?

You know what I'm saying? Like I want to give the guy some promotion too. Plus I'm sure Stern paid him and that's just not something we're prepared to do. Now we can afford that. Yeah, now we can afford all those luxuries. No way. Austin Nasso, very good at what he does, very funny on the socials. You got to follow him.

I'm sure a lot of interesting stuff coming up in the election season that you must follow. So please do that. Uh, at Austin Nassau and then go check out his podcasts to put all the link in the show notes. Christina will do that for you because she is good at her job. That's what she will do. Also 24th and Daniel point 25th in Orlando, Florida. Chrissy and I are going gonna be down there doing shows. Come on and come see us. Doing our thing. I think we should have links to tickets. We don't know what that thing is yet.

No, we have no idea. We're gonna do it. Yes, we're gonna need to take a break and figure that out actually. So, Daniel Point Improv, Funny Bone in Orlando. Come see us. Tickets should be available now on the website or on social media and if not they will be over the next day or so. So please do us a

favor, come and see us, we would love it. Go to TCBpodcast.com for all the updated information, audio, video, get your free sticker, hit the contact us button, send us a line, get the drop down menu, I want my free sticker, Give us your address. We'll send you some stickers for free no questions asked. If you're gonna be at Daniel Point or Orlando, please let us know and we might bring something special for you. You can text us 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. We take them all.

Voicemail or text messages. Wanna thank Brian Moses for being here this week. Stay tuned. You wanna see Chrissy and I roast? Let us know. Also, add the commercial break on Instagram. You can DM us there. YouTube.com slash the commercial break

for President Trump and President Biden's sketches. So go there, follow uscom slash the commercial break for president Trump and president Biden sketches. So go there, follow us, subscribe to us. Okay, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you.

And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say goodbye. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I take a dick and keep on lickin'.