The Commercial Break - TCB The Lost Tapes - We're On Fire(side)!
Episode Date: December 31, 2021Bryan and Krissy discuss a number of topics during segments from some technically challenged Fireside appearances in this previously un-aired episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastch...oices.com/adchoices
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WSHIT now returns to meditations with Moonbasta.
It's the beginning of a new, of a new lunar sun cycle.
Time to set our intention, reflection, Inflaction, inflaction, inflaction.
Let's do it together.
Because everything is better.
Together. Because everything is better, together. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Hang on tightly, to the present and oh.
Hang on, hang on, hang on, like a bird in flight. Flying through the universe. Can you hear the bird?
in space. Your bird is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, dying, dying, is dying, is dying, dying, dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, dying, is dying, is dying, dying, dying, dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, is dying, dying, dying, is dying, dying, is dying, dying fluttering on the floor, gasping for air. What will you do?
Shall we take her to the vet? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is hers and yours is yours. Even though you're the one who brought her to space, it's your
fault, but you can do better. Set your intention now. You won't kill your bird Not in this new year
Not again
Gekon, Gekon, Gekon, Gekon, Gekon Welcome to TCVTVMina
Oh, your favorite stars, content and shows?
Somewhere else
We take all the stuff you love about streaming TV, throw it out the window If you've been a fan of the commercial break for any period of time, you know that Chrissy
and I are not afraid to try new things.
We're also not afraid to put those new things down
as soon as we get bored.
One of the things we tried in 2021 was FireSide,
a social audio app, Unlike Clubhouse,
where the creators come first and podcasters do well.
FireSide became friendly with the commercial break
during the summer,
and I got an invitation to meet one of its co-founders,
Mark Cuban, at dinner in Nashville, Tennessee.
While FireSide has become something we do infrequently, the team over there could not have been nicer to us in 2021.
Chrissy and I honestly got a bad taste in our mouth about FireSide when we did the first four episodes, and people didn't stay longer than three minutes.
We couldn't figure out why. Was it the application? Was it us? Were we
just not funny? What we learned later was we had not plugged the application into the
soundboard, so no one could hear us. That's right, we were doing full episodes to absolutely
nobody.
During those episodes, I kept asking people if they wanted to come up on stage and talk
with us, and no one responded. Of course, they didn't. They couldn't hear us. So we put these episodes in the can because most of it is me being annoyed that no one
wants to come and talk to us on fireside even though they clearly can't hear us.
Listening back to the episodes now, when I'm not squawking at people that can't hear
us, there are some interesting segments, so I cut those up for episode number 3 of TCB,
The Lost Tapes.
Enjoy! Cut those up for episode number three of TCB, The Lost Tapes, enjoy.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Hey, welcome to another episode of the commercial break,
I'm Brian, this is Chrissy, hey, there we are.
Look at that.
Hey, how are you?
Hi, I'm, I'm back.
That's you, technical difficulties. That's to you, Brian. You know, I think our show is best to Oh, you are. Hey, how are you? Hi, I'm bestie. I'm bestie.
That's the technical difficulties.
Bestie you, Ryan.
You know, I think our show is bestie you, Chrissy.
I think our show is really marred
by technical difficulties of the easiest kind.
It is.
Like, turn it on, dumb shit.
But those of you that can't see right now,
we are in the studio.
This probably is 10 by 10, I would say.
It's a room that we've repurposed in my house.
It's a 10 by 10 studio, and there are literally
thousands of wires running from one end to the studio
to say the other.
And half of them are not even plugged in yet.
We're so scared to touch them because we got everything
working just a way we like it.
So I feel like we're just, I feel like we're getting there.
We're climbing the technological ladder,
one step at a time, Chrissy.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year to you.
Yes.
Did you see where in Atlanta or in,
I forget who they were playing?
I think it was New Jersey, the Brooklyn net,
somebody that the Atlanta Hawks player
was being spit on inside of the arena.
Yes, that's all right.
That's all right.
I know, it's awful.
Yeah, I mean, that fan was banned, I think, for life.
Band for life, but what does that really mean?
I don't care where the cares you can still watch it on TV.
Shouldn't it be arrested?
Yeah.
I think I feel like back in the days when I was growing up
and you went to a sports game, you know, a sports ball game
and you were really angry with the people
that were on the court, you just started
to fight with somebody else in the audience.
Yeah, exactly.
I think that's the appropriate way to handle
with your anger, yeah.
That's a little yelling.
Yeah, we paid it out,
and the thing is, this guy paid thousands of fucking dollars
to get in there and watch a playoff game,
and now he's spitting on the peep.
I mean, it's just like,
you know you're gonna get kicked out.
Yeah.
Isn't that...
It's an inappropriate thing to do.
It's completely inappropriate thing to do.
Unbelievable, TCPpodcast.com is where you go.
You can read more about Chrissy and I.
Find all our show notes and watch our entire video library
or listen to our entire audio library.
It's all right there for you, Chrissy.
One neat, nice little package.
It is.
For the tidy price of 1999 plus 1999 shipping and handling.
But if you act now, we'll give it to you for free.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Huck now.
Huck now, now, quickly.
At the commercial break is where you find us
on Instagram and 470-449 is where you can text
and leave us a message.
Standard text messaging rates do apply.
So we got international texts over the weekend.
Oh, we did.
We did.
You know, I know it's international texts.
It's in Farsi, I think.
Oh, okay.
So I have no fucking clue what they're saying.
And then I put it in like the little Google translate,
and it made no sense whatsoever.
It was like, you know, the day is on fire.
Don't even know what that means.
Maybe it was a bot.
Probably.
Probably, it's probably that guy that I,
yeah, I was gonna say that.
It's a guy that I scammed.
The scammer that I scammed.
Yes.
I showed him.
He's trying to get back in time.
He is.
I really want to get that guy on the phone. Like, He is. I really want to get that guy on the phone.
Like, I really want to have a conversation with that guy on the phone.
I think that's the best way to handle this is if him and I can speak on the phone.
For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, when a scammer calls my phone
or writes me an email, I don't let it go.
I don't, that's not something I stay away from.
I engage immediately.
It's like, it's your heat-sakers on destroy. And so I engage immediately. I'm just like, I should eat psychers on destroy.
And so I engage immediately and I have fun with it. And the other night it was like two o'clock
in the morning and somebody, you know, they replicated a friend's Facebook. Then they DMed me
explaining how a new government program called, you know, the National Association of Belt Workers
is now giving away up to a million dollars for free
Yeah, but the good news is is that they will be sending you that money via FedEx right now
You're gonna get it in the next two hours all you have to do is go to Walmart and get me $10,000 worth of Sephora gift cards
But don't tell the manager because they might be suspicious. They might rob you. Yeah, they might rob you
That's right. So the guy basically worked for the CIA, but he was concerned about the Walmart manager robbing me $10,000 in cash.
He's like, do you have the cash on you? And they have the cash on me. It's 2 o'clock in the morning.
Let me run by the ATM. I loved that they were going to go get your money from the World Bank.
Yes, they needed to go pick it up at the World Bank and they were packaging it.
The FedEx men were on their way to my house via... had to stop by the World Bank, pick up the money.
And they actually sent me a video of them packing up the money.
And I was like, wow, that's rather convincing.
I think that's from Ocean's 11.
Look at the technology these scammers have.
Unbelievable.
That was like a clip.
Yeah, and then I replayed it.
I know.
Just asking for the money.
Here do we out live. I was like a clip. Yeah. And then I replayed it. I know. Just asking money.
Here do we out live.
He said George Clooney packing up my money.
It's unbelievable.
Look at Brad Pitt right next to him.
The two of them.
They're really invested in this success of America.
And then so what they did was they asked me to pick an amount between $70,000 and $700,000.
And it was just like four-page text message.
And each amount had a correlating administration fee
that I would just have to send them immediately
in gold.gifcards.
Yeah, American Express.
That's right.
And I wonder if I had let it play out long enough.
What the next step would be?
I guess it would be scratching off the back of them
and giving them the number so that they can use them online.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't let it go that far.
I just, I had to get some sleep.
I had to go on for an hour and I was like,
I gotta go to bed.
But I tried to call the guy because that,
I mean, I tried to call the guy the next day
because that's where the real action is.
Of course, I have a podcast.
I would have loved to play it.
Do you think I have to get permission
to play the scammers?
I bet if you said you were going to get the gift card
and team give you permission, I'll take that.
Yeah, I'll be like,
hey, I'm going to get these gift cards,
but can I record your voice?
Just in case.
I think your voice is adorable.
Can I record it?
So I can listen to it at night over and over again.
Thanks, John.
His name is John Smith, too.
It's always John Smith.
Yeah, because that works out.
I wanted to talk to you about something
as I'm trolling the dark recesses of the internet
for the commercial break, for the hundreds of thousands
of commercial break listeners that I wish were listening.
Um, right.
So I, you come across some interesting stuff.
I do. My wife is like, what are you doing in the studio?
And I'm like, I'm editing.
What are you six talking about?
I'm editing, meanwhile, on Backfages.com.
Trying to find content for the show.
Uh, I'm looking up the trying to find content for the show.
I'm looking up the new Vikini trends for the show.
I got to be up to date on all the Vikini trends we're talking about.
So, it occurred to me that I keep on reading these articles.
You go to news of the weird or whatever.
It's Florida Man does this.
One of them with Florida Man strikes woman in face with shark ends up arrested for domestic violence
Florida man, you know
Kills Gator, you know, and the brings live Gator into the middle of the Disney World Florida man
Uses fireworks to clean out his chimney, right stuff like I mean, it's like ridiculous shit
That you think only happens in Florida and everyone has this it's everyone speculates on why this shit happens in Florida.
Oh, it's hot down there.
That's where all the crazies go.
You know, that's where, you know, when you,
you're a felon and you have nothing left in life,
you go live on the beach and some trailer or whatever.
But the reality is-
There is no income tax either.
There is no income tax,
but I'm not sure that the guys we're talking about
are really worried about paying their taxes.
I don't know, I just haven't feeling the taxes
or the last thing on there list on April 15th.
I'm gonna get some whack off, go that gator.
And I live close to Florida.
So I've been to Florida.
Florida's a beautiful place.
Yeah, I have property in Florida, right?
So I was wondering, you know, why do Florida guys,
why is that a thing?
It's a trope, right?
It's an old thing.
You hear Florida man, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I think the reality here is a combination of things.
Yes, I think it's hot, and I think people do crazy stuff,
but I think what it also has to do with
is an extraordinarily large population of human beings
in many, many towns where they have these kind of small
press offices where they're looking for stories all the time.
Oh, right.
But the access to information in Florida
is much more liberal than it is anywhere else.
In other words, they have a Freedom of Information Act
that basically puts out every record having to do with an arrest
or a police interaction within 24 hours of it happening. It's actually state law. So it's
not about, there's the TCB vacuum again.
Far the shut. Don't worry about the commercial rig. Just paying the bills around here. Don't
worry about it. Can you please vacuum the door, the studio door, if you don't worry about the commercial rig. Just paying the bills around here. Don't worry about it.
Can you please vacuum the door? The studio door if you don't mind.
You are not a good story teller.
I know. I leave it up to you.
So this guy's running around on a on a burglary spree and what he's doing is he's leaving behind white claws everywhere.
Like empty ones.
Yeah, crushing it and then throw it up. Gonna go hit the pawn shop. He's leaving behind white claws everywhere. Like empty ones, like, fresh ones.
Yeah, crushing it and then throw it up.
Gonna go hit the pawn shop.
Gotta get some cigarettes at the Kiki Mart.
We go to that jeweler over there.
I leave behind a white claw everywhere I go.
Uh, Florida man with the last name of Florida
goes on crime spree in Zeffar Hills.
Classic Florida. goes on crime spree in Zephyr Hills. Hahaha.
Classic Florida. This is classic Florida man.
He's actually a Florida man.
Florida woman found, unless you think that a Florida man
is the only thing that, you know,
we're equal opportunity offenders here.
Right.
So unless you think that Florida man is the only person
who can be a Florida man, it's also Florida women.
Florida woman found naked in drain storm is rescued once again
This lady the storm drain gets full and she got a likes to float down the
Nobody were kid and you should go play the you know play out the when it rained
And you play out in the curb because it was a stream
You felt like it was a lazy river or something.
In your mind, it was a river, you know.
This lady actually has like a, you know,
one of the, one of the moats that fills up in your yard,
like a water, you know,
reclamation or a little canal.
Yeah, so she liked to play in the canal every time it rained.
She got stuck in the drain multiple times,
but she's naked because
I mean how else would you play it?
Not only are you probably gonna get syphilis and encephalitis,
but do it directly through your all the orifices.
Here's my favorite Florida woman steals bucket of sex toys from bar.
Yeah.
I get it.
First, there's a couple questions.
Hey partner, what'd you like?
I'd like a jackrabbit, please.
Why?
Are you talking about the drink?
Or the bucket of dildo?
Why was there the sex toy?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe it was sex toy night at the bar.
It was.
It was.
She got greedy.
She took a
I don't need one I need all of them come down to Bob's
Bob's oil change and liquor
It's sex tonight down the Bob's oil change and liquor
With every drink you get a free you get a free Wang
Well, that would drink. You get a free wing.
What in the world is going on at that bar? Sounds like the kind of bar I need to visit.
Yes.
For TCB purposes.
Yes, it's the minus.
It's the minus content.
That's all your favorite content somewhere else.
The color of the minus content.
TCB, TV minus.
Cut the cord from all the pluses.
Why pay those outrageous prices for good content
when you could get shitty content for zero dollars.
CCV TV minus helping you get through your day.
Florida man buys TV ads in attempt
to reopen Canadian border.
What?
So listen to this.
So the guy was so upset about the COVID restrictions, right?
He felt, you know, he felt like, I won't get into it.
You understand what he felt like.
He felt like, you know,
I'm unfair.
He's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got,
he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got,
so I'm going to open up the Canadian,
but he's going to reopen the Canadian border
by buying ads on the Clear Channel ad network,
the billboard network that basically said,
the border is open to the United States.
So he was buying ads,
usurping the COVID restrictions,
encouraging people to come down to the United States.
And you know, why not?
What a, when you're not paying income taxes,
what better way to spend your money than to encourage people to die in the middle of a panda. I mean,
what in the world?
Uh, those things aren't cheap either. The billboards, maybe they were though. Yeah, listen
to that. It's those billboards are cheaper than you think they are. Take it from a guy
who's bought a couple of billboards in a slide. That's right. Didn't you buy that? That was
one of my, that was one of my commercial break,
adding initiatives.
This is, you're driving,
95 miles per hour down, highway 95,
and up pops, the commercial break.
I'm sure the first thing you're gonna do is go,
hey honey, get out of our Spotify,
I wanna check out that commercial break.
The funny thing is people did actually listen from that.
Yeah, but it was horribly,
I mean, it wasn't expensive, but all the impressions you had
to get just to get one person on.
My thought was, is that, you know, people listen to podcast.
Listen, we were a new podcast, and I was trying to put,
I was trying to put gasoline on the smoldering fire.
The meteoric rise and complete downfall
of the commercial break started and began when Brian decided,
billboards
Advertises podcast. I also got a plane with a sign on the back and I flew around the black mountains of South Dakota
Perfect perfect
That's go that's marketing go we can take to the bank. I'm gonna get on those other social media apps and charge money for that
the bank. I'm going to get on those other social media apps and charge money for that.
Here's my favorite. I think of all the ones that I found so far. Is Florida Man is arrested after striking daughter with piece of pizza, piece of pizza? I mean, listen, I don't think domestic
violence is funny in any way, shape, or form. I'm not condoning it. No. But he was arrested because his daughter
called the cops after he smacked her with a piece of pizza.
Piece of pizza.
Okay.
I mean, you know, that's one way to do it.
There's another one.
There's a different discipline.
Florida man arrested for third DWI
after the excuse he used did not work.
Do you know what the excuse was?
For the third time he used this excuse.
Honestly, believing it was true.
What?
He only drank at the stop sign.
So he wasn't drinking a driving.
Oh my God.
He told the police officer that.
Not once, not twice, but three times.
He had this conversation with a police officer.
You can't do that.
Look at the state law number 64, that's B.
I'm stopping the stop sign.
Stop sign.
You can't can't arrest me unless you actually see me driving with the bottle in my hand.
Oh, yeah, you know that it's in the Constitution.
Amendment number 42 B. It's just like we're going to write next to my right to breathe freely.
Florida man hotel trips over scale bathroom.
Trips over scale bathroom. Sues the seminal tribe for $62 million.
He tripped over a scale in the bathroom.
In his bathroom.
Yeah, the guy weighed about 400 pounds, right?
So he's no small young man. And he trips over the bathroom. In the bathroom, in his bathroom? Yeah, the guy weighed about 400 pounds, right? So he's no small young man.
And he trips over the scale and he,
I think he broken arm, right?
So he fell and he broke an arm.
He then sued, it was the Seminole Hardrock Cafe Hotel
where he was at, which is this huge resort down in,
I think it's in Tampa or Miami or somewhere.
But so he sued the Seminole tribe for 62 million dollars for pain and suffering
Oh my can you believe this now if I swear on all that's holy swearing all this holy this guy wins that lawsuit
Uncle Brian's going to trip it over some scale. Yeah, exactly
First of all who goes to scale in a hotel. I don't know. I've never seen a scale in a hotel. I mean
Upscale
Scale in a hotel. I mean an upscale hotel. You know, say it. I did there for doing together
Florida man nearly electrocuted to death after tries after he tries to remove annoying birds from power line
You took a ladder he climbed up to the power line because the birds were chirping too loudly in the morning. They were annoying him in the morning
See he climbed up the ladder and he's trying to shoot the birds away
They're probably like oh my god check this guy
I'll just fly right over here. Hey Bob. Hey Bob. Here comes that idiot again climbing up the ladder
Let's just bounce a few steps and then the bomb has to climb out on the wire.
I'm mixing the little birds,
I know.
Bouncing over.
Hey, you want to see Bob fire come from Bob's eyeballs again.
Let's get him again.
Well, those crows are smart, dude.
You got to be careful.
Those crows have been trained to like,
I think they work for the CIA at one point
like the killer dolphins.
Crozor smart.
They are.
They're gonna, obviously, they outsmarted you.
Why would you climb up?
I never got this.
There was a guy when I grew up in Chicago,
there was a guy, we had the power lines
that were, you know, the power lines
that go out in front of your house.
But they were burying some of them at a time.
And so, you know, the power company
was going about burying the lines, right?
So there was a guy that was about five houses down from us
that decided one night in a drunken stupor
that he was going to get up
and to help the power company bury their lines.
Or at least that's the old story that we heard.
I was like six years old,
so I don't really know what happened,
but this is a story that we were told as children.
He was trying to help the power company.
I'm trying to get away from his wife.
And so he actually took a ladder and he climbed up
and he went and he touched one of the sides
of the transformers and obviously immediately fell to the ground with fire coming from his chest. Like I
mean, I don't know how electricity works. I have no idea. I'm not electrician. At
least I play one on TCV TV minus TCV TV minus all your favorite experts minus any
of the education. So, so this guy acted this guy was like in critical condition
for a long time because he went in touch to the transformer on the first of all.
Yeah.
In at least in my neighborhood, that's pretty high. Like you've got to get a pretty tall
ladder to get up there.
Yeah, they're not real low.
No, who said that?
Yeah, but I'll never forget all the fire engines and all the commotion.
The thing wasn't in the middle of the night too. Who knows what the guy was doing, honestly.
Florida woman accused of sneaking into high school, dressed like a high school student,
to get more TikTok followers.
Why?
Isn't my favorite Johnny Depp?
21 Jump St. Right, Johnny.
It's 21 Jump Talk.
21 Talk Street.
Oh my God, did she dress like a school?
The guy's gone.
What was she doing, brother?
I don't know.
What are you doing?
She did.
Yeah.
I'm one of your classmates.
I'm a new, I'm a, hey, I just got here from Central Valley.
Hi, I'm Tina, your new classmate. Wow, Tina's, Tina's got here from Central Valley. Hi, I'm Tina. You're new classmate. Wow Tina's
Tina's got gray hair
She said she's had two C-sections and a vaginal birth. She looks a little old to be a junior
67 years old
Wow, Tina's got a walker
I mean how did that idea come to her?
No, I know.
Let me go put on some young looking clothes.
And was it like a plaid skirt, like the old, you know?
Now, I wish they had pictures that went along with this,
but they don't, but I can only imagine
what Tina from Central Valley, I look like.
Or...
No, follow me on TikTok. Balmy on TikTok.
This is a new girl. Is this new girl in my math class named Tina?
She's got she's got Verico's veins. This is really weird.
She was talking about having to pay her taxes or something and
She asked me if I had to if I paid my taxes yet. I don't know
She asked me if I had to, if I paid my taxes yet. I don't know.
Didn't she ask me to follow and talk?
And you know what?
That new girl Tina literally looks like Joey's mom.
Who dressed us up?
What kind of fucking shit is that?
Yeah, I don't know.
And then how do you get into the high school?
How does that work?
And then they have, don't you have like security guards now and stuff where you actually have to show your ID?
I think a lot of them do.
Yeah, yeah.
She mingled in, she found her opening during like a recess. like security guards now and stuff, we actually have to show your ID. I think a lot of them do. Yeah, yeah.
She mingled in, she found her opening
during like a recess.
This is what I was lunch break.
Hey, can I get in a four square?
But I just got my knee replaced.
I can't jump around.
Follow me on TikTok.
Follow me on TikTok. Yeah, follow me on TikTok.
At 21 Jump Talk.
I'm up to 17 followers.
Oh my god, this is my favorite one yet.
Yeah, it's good.
Like that's an actual mission that she went on.
She did. She woke up one morning and decided that she was going to get more TikTok followers.
By going back to high school, listen,
I don't know about for you,
but for me, high school is the last place I want to go back to
at all.
But this lady decided that she was on a mission
to get more TikTok.
This is the problem with the society today.
This is one of the many problems with society today.
But one is that people are so obsessed with TikTok followers that they're
willing to dress up to go back to high school the worst possible time of anybody's life
and suffer through all of the indignities that go along with high school so that you can
get another fucking three followers on TikTok. Guarantee that plan did not work. She might
have more followers now just because of this story. They don't get, they just say Tina, they don't give away, yeah, they don't give away her
name.
No.
Hey everybody, thanks for tuning in to TCB The Lost Tapes as Chrissy and I take a short
break between season number two and season number three.
I wanted to remind you that you can go to tcbpodcast.com, listen to all the audio and watch all the
video of every single released episode straight from the website.
You can also get your free limited edition collectible tcb sticker by going there, give us
your information, and we'll tell you how to get the sticker and we'll send it off to
you.
youtube.com slash the commercial break is our YouTube channel. You'll also find content
there. You can't get anywhere else. Clips every single day of the week as well as special
in the studio editions of the commercial break. At the commercial break on instagram if you'd
like to follow us and 661 best the number two yo237-8296 is where you can text us or leave us a voice message
and we may use that voice message on a future episode.
Listen, have a wonderful and happy new year, Chrissy and I and the family members are on
the mend from coronavirus and we'll be back in just a couple of days for season number
3.
And now, please take the time to listen to our sponsors
and use their specialized URLs or codes
if you're in the market for their products or services.
Then you can listen to more of me
blabbing on about nothing after this.
The dumb chuck to those, those ones that...
Those are the ones that swing around.
Yeah, they have a little chain in the middle.
Oh, yeah.
Funny story.
So, funny story. You know what
say, Brian? Funny story coming from you. When I was seven or eight years old, we got into
karate, right? Yeah. And we were, you know, we told our parents, we really wanted to do karate.
And so they said, okay, they took us down to the local Taekwondo Center and we had a Sensei, right, the guy who was teaching us.
Yes.
So there was mainly kids under 13 years old, I would say, but it was a group of us.
And the very first class that we went to, the Sensei punched us in the stomach, right?
I know, it was a really, I'll never forget it actually.
I mean, it didn't hurt.
He didn't hit us hard.
But he was showing us the power of a,
of a, of a, what's called a short punch, right?
Okay.
And that was our first lesson, a short punch.
And so, okay.
So, and later on that same evening as Kevin and I
are wrapping up our very first Taikwondo session,
there's older guys are getting out on the floor, right?
And I'll never forget that one of the somebody's,
I don't remember who it was,
but one of the somebody's had num chucks,
which I don't even think is part of Taekwondo.
I don't think it's part of Taekwondo.
I just think it's part of Dipshittery,
like a some Dipshitt that I thought he was cool
or whatever he was.
And so he got out in the middle of the floor
and he started winging these things around.
And so it's really fucking cool.
I mean, he was just going to town.
Like, just like literally slapping them all over his body and I was like, wow, that's
really cool.
Until he hit himself directly in the face and his nose exploded.
I mean, exploded.
I'll never forget the blood red all over his white, you know, oh my god, Fody.
It was at the time the scariest thing and now they're back on it.
I think it's the funniest thing that has ever happened.
I never ever seen that guy again in the Taekwondo Center.
Probably because the sense is, yeah, you know, belong here.
Hey, listen, karate kid, it makes that shit somewhere else.
So you need to have karate kids.
I told you not to bring the no-jacks.
See you have crotter kid.
You know, they've got that new show that's
Ralph Montio and
Cobra Kai.
Cobra Kai and they he lives in my building.
Oh, really?
Wait, does Sensei lives in your building?
Yes.
Like the guy from the actual
original crotter kid.
Yes, and he's in Cobra Kai.
No shit.
Yeah, we've run into him a couple times
like in the elevator or the package room. Should we beat him up on the way out the door?
I heard somebody tell him one time, sweep the leg. I bet that guy's like, I'm just
yelling my fucking life. I hate this movie. This movie made me run it for me. I was a good
looking kid. I was almost in that what's that movie with the ones
about the vampires. Yeah, no, no, the one way back from the 80s with keeper Sutherland
and the lost one. I was almost in the lost boys. Then they cast me in karate. Kidnail
look at me. I'm playing a used card salesman on Cobra Kai on Hulu Plus. I actually get good reviews.
I have a question.
I remember Karate Kid fondly, but it didn't age well.
I went back and watched, and that's it.
Find it to be particularly interesting as an adult.
And so I don't know.
I'm not going to Cobra Kai.
I never watch it.
He never gets old though.
Well Miyagi's long since past.
Yeah.
Miyagi, if they had Miyagi in it, then maybe I I watch it. But maybe I'll watch it now. But this
poor guy, he's like, oh I want to do it. Just go to work. I fucking hate my life.
We saw him out of the pool one day too. Yeah. Is he like buff? He's buff. Now I'm
talking about your, I think you're talking about rough Machia, the main God.
No, I'm talking about the guy he fought in the last scene, the blonde kid. No, no, I'm
talking about the sensei in the original movie. Yes. Oh, that got like 112 years old. He was dead. Like, no,
but he's still in great shape. Is he really still looking good? No, shit. Yeah, I bet he's
a Florida man. He looks like a Florida man. One of the movies was he in. Doesn't he
in a Rambo at some point or something? Yeah, he's definitely. Yeah, he's one of those
character actors that was sneaky, like popular back in the 80s. Like you saw on the movie. Yeah, he never really had any substantial. I mean, he had a of those character actors that was sneaky like popular back in the 80s like you saw the movie
Yeah, he never really had any substantial. I mean he had a substantial part in karate kid
He's been in a ton of stuff, but you know, he never had his breakout godfather to roll
I bet he's still like this fucking movie
Rap macho must be the one who's like I fucking hate this movie
We try to get it
is like, I fucking hate this movie. We've tried to get you to pay.
Yeah, we tried to get you to pay, but it didn't work.
The meteor rise and the extreme downfall
of the commercial breaks, Patreon page.
We tried to get you to pay.
We did have one.
We were gonna give you that great content
you were looking for.
But then we decided,
let's just give them the regular shit for free.
They don't know what they're missing. We wanted to give
you good content, but then you wouldn't pay us. So you know what? You can get all the
bonus material at our con. That's right. And DC be con. Which is just a it's a con.
Twenty tokens for $20 and then YouTube can get an autograph copy of our sit list here.
Or the vacuum that, or the vacuum that constantly makes it.
The vacuum that was used on episode 50.
Yeah, episode 50, episode 47, episode 32.
You think after a certain while, like someone who would get that the schedule was, hey,
we're going to actually not vacuum during this period of time.
Yeah, when, when, when Chrissy and Brian go into this door,
as soon as the door closed.
But it seemed like that was the key.
That was the signal.
It was.
It was like, oh, time to vacuum.
They're out of this room.
Yeah.
Let me do it right in front of the studio door too.
Unbelievable.
Go back and listen to some of our older episodes
and you'll find that that YouTube will hear that.
So all of your favorites are gonna make an appearance
at TCBCon.
There's gonna be the vacuum, my screaming sun,
Henry Fonda, Rachel, the gas station girl, Jeff.
Jeff, we're trying to get Frank Bernardo.
We're trying to get him, but he's expensive.
He's two tokens for an autograph.
Two tokens for an autograph and free advice.
The problem with having Frankie B at TCBCon,
if you don't know who Frankie B is,
go watch one of the seven episodes
that we've made about Frankie B.
We're just going to point it out too.
Yeah, thanks.
Fuck you, man.
He's funny, though.
He's funny.
Yeah, he's funny.
It was a commenter that's funny.
He left us one star right.
Another commenter, but the...
Oh, Frankie B is funny. Yeah, the commenter was funny too.
Maybe he's entering the TCB...
Maybe that was Frankie.
...best comment content.
Oh, I didn't even think about that.
Maybe he is. Maybe that is Frankie or one of Frankie's minions.
So somebody left us, we talked about this last week,
but on another episode.
But somebody left us an Apple review, one star,
where they said that they'd listened to all of our episodes,
but they felt like the Frankie B thing was getting repetitious
and it was driving them crazy.
So that drove them to now hate listening to us
and give us one star.
Suspiciously, I find the comments suspicious.
I think it's somebody that knows us quite frankly,
and I can think of a number quite frankly,
no pun intended, pun intended.
And I'm an internet investigator.
So I feel like I've gotten,
I feel like I've gotten to the bottom of who this is.
I think I know who you are.
And you know, listen, you have to be so jealous.
You have to be so jealous of all of our success.
All of our success, 20 downloads in one day.
You two, you two.
You two can have no downloads on your podcast for $19.99
of those $19.99 shipping and handling.
Like, no! Look up, everybody. You can have no downloads on your podcast for $19.99, but it's $19.99 shipping and handling. Agna!
Look up, everybody.
Do you want a podcast no one listens to?
Come on down to Brian's podcast aroma. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Yeah, it is super right. Bring a microphone. I'll show you how to plug it into the carpet.
Bring 20 cords. Yeah, bring 20 cords. I'll show you how to plug out one. That's right. That still won't make your microphone work.
You do can have nothing when you press record.
So the early days of the episode, early days of the podcast, what you're hearing are the episodes that we actually managed to record all of.
But there were many more,
and I mean, many more,
that never got recorded, misrecorded halfway through.
We started over, I mean, so many.
Or you would call me afterwards and go,
that one didn't record.
I remember calling a Chrissy one night at midnight
and being like because we because the
Still to this day we're trying to get ahead, but we never seem to get ahead
We record a bunch of episodes and then we find it like three of them are crap and one of them is good
We're like, I will run that one now. We're really putting our feet to the fire by actually going live every time we're recording but
And so one night midnight that just make you nervous. Yeah, he was like, ah, ah, ah, ah used to broadcast on Wednesdays when we did one episode.
So it was Tuesday night.
We had just finished recording an episode at like seven o'clock
and it took me hours to edit an episode
because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing
and I was trying to do all kind of different production values.
And so I remember listening to the episode
and realizing that I had not gotten any of Chrissy's voice.
So it was just me talking on the podcast.
Laughing to yourself.
Yeah, laughing to myself.
That's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like,
it sounded like this.
It sounded like this.
See?
No Chrissy.
There she is.
Now she's back.
Okay.
So it sounded awful.
I mean, just awful.
There was obviously, there was no Chrissy.
So there was no way to make the podcast.
And I called her a midnight and I was like, Chrissy.
And she's like, oh no, did you do it again?
I'm like, oh yeah. I know. Are you okay? If we did another episode
that night, and then I went and recorded it. And it was, it was crazy. Now we could do
a little bit better. We get most of the episodes recorded. I would say we do a pretty good job.
And we always have at least one backup. And so when we took a vacation the other week,
I decided that rather than run,
so we have a bunch of episodes
that we don't feel our TCBTV minus material.
Not the kind of quality you're looking.
Their minus minus.
Yeah, they're double minus.
If you think this is bad,
you should hear the shit we have on the hard drive.
Yeah.
What you're hearing is the best of the best.
It's the plus of the minus.
It's the plus of the minus.
It's the best.
How is it double-edged?
It's the best of the worst.
So we've got like five, six, seven, 12 of those, whatever we have, or unfinished episodes
or whatever.
And I didn't feel that any of them were quite prime time ready.
They needed some help. They weren't good at all,
they were half finished episodes
where we needed to finish an interview
with somebody or whatever.
And so I decided to run the three Frankie B episodes
that we had done, I cut them up,
I put some extra material in there
that we hadn't used in the original episode
and I threw it together.
And some asshole comes out of the woodwork after 261 five-star reviews.
Some asshole comes out of the woodwork and leaves us one because he was upset that 90% of that
episode was material we had used previously. Now here's my question to that asshole. By the way,
you're not an asshole. Keep on hate listening. Actually, you are an asshole. Keep hate listening.
We'll take the hate listeners to. Yeah, we'll take them. Yeah, we love you're not an asshole. Keep on hate listening. Actually, you are an asshole. Keep hate listening. We'll take the hate listeners to.
Yeah, we'll take them.
Yeah, we love you all.
My question is best to you.
Best to you.
Yeah, it best to you.
Fuck to you.
Screndal slap right in your face.
Yep.
My question is, why didn't you just turn off the episode?
If you didn't like it, if you had gone, I already heard this, why didn't you just turn it off?
Yeah, but one of those people that has to know
what happens next.
Yeah, they really are hate listening
because they have to get all the way through
to really confirm that Ron...
And it was like a two hour long.
It was, it was, two hours and 15 minutes long.
We got you.
The crazy thing is, a majority of the people who listen, listen all
the way through that episode, which is insane.
I never expected that.
I honestly thought people would drop off pretty quickly.
What I was intending to do was give people who had never listened to the show because we
had a whole bunch of new listeners over the couple of weeks before.
I had intended to give those people kind of a taste of the Frankie B universe, knowing that
we were going to do yet another Frankie B episode
that same week.
So we took one day off, ran one two hour episode
for a Frankie D.
Memorial Day.
It was a Memorial Day.
You took the day off too, jerk off.
So it was.
You gotta leave me a one star view.
You know how that drives my OCD crazy?
Drives my OCD crazy.
Could've left me, I mean, make it even two stars.
We'll take it good with the bad. Oh, guess.
I'm the ugly. I guess. Well, you know what they say, if someone's
hate listening to you, they're listening to you. You know what I'm saying?
That's right. Okay, here we go. Ready?
I'm ready. Let's get to this. Let's get to this week's content.
So we don't yet piss off more people. Oh, now they're talking
about Frankie B. Now they're talking're talking about Frankie B. Now they're talking about Frankie B.
This podcast, double sucks.
I don't wanna edit my review.
You know, you can edit your review in Apple.
I can.
I didn't know that until I went,
podcasts that I like, I went,
and I was like, I'd like this episode.
Let me leave another comment about it,
but they won't let you leave two comments.
They'll let you review, let you edit your review.
So I updated my review.
So you know this jerk off is probably gonna up,
oh there goes my glasses.
Look at that.
Hey everybody.
Welcome to TCB.
Hey Granny.
Hey.
Granny Brian.
Hi, how you doing?
How's everyone doing out there?
It's me, Granny Brian.
Granny Green.
Granny Green, thought it stopped by the podcast.
See what's going on? Yep, same shit, more Frankie B. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. off Frank B. I've heard it, we've heard it.
Put it down!
So I'm talking about Frank B.
It's okay, that's okay, Granny Green.
All right, I guess I'll just get a little upset.
You know, you know, I get...
Put your glasses back in.
No, I get when I don't have my method, Fedamane.
When I don't have my mountain, doing Fedamane.
I want a sex doll, by the way.
I want one to have here in the studio
so that we can have a friend.
Make a percher back here.
We'll percher back here, we'll percher over here.
And I want her.
So if you have a connection to get a sex doll
on the cheap or a used one or something like that.
He's one of those Brockles.
If one of, yeah, one of those.
This is out of commission now.
You have a sex doll, a Brockles sex doll. There's no longer being used. Contact me because I want to brought one. Yeah, one of those out of commission now. You have a brothel, a brothel, a brothel.
There's no longer being used.
Contact me because I want to have one.
Or maybe we'll buy one for the studio.
I'll figure it out.
But if you have a sex doll connection,
help me make some magic happen because I want one here
in the studio.
I think we can have some fun with it.
And by fun with it, I don't mean sticking my dick in it.
I mean, or do I?
Who's going to know at the end of the day, right?
I'm editing, Mr. I'm editing. I'm editing.
I can hear that sextile making noises again. She's got her red dress on.
This is the noise she makes when you're having sex with her.
Right now. I know it.
This is the noise she makes when you're having sex with her.
Okay, okay.
Initializing, downloading, rendering.
Ah!
Or is that what, noises you make?
I didn't.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
No, here's the noise I make.
Hey baby, ah.
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Here's the noise I make.
That's a sorry. That's the noise I make. I'm so sorry. I'll try better next time. I do a lot of
crying during sex. It's the truth. Did you watch the Friends episode? Did you watch
the Friends reunion? I did. What did you think? Yes. I liked it. Yes. I liked it. What do you think?
Yes. Well, okay. so I had heard from another podcast
that I was listening to.
Oh, great.
They were kind of like, yay.
You know, it's just them and they're kind of getting together
and whatever.
And I was like, yeah, it wasn't on my list.
I loved the show back in the day, but then in my mind,
it was one of those things where I wanted to kind of make it.
I just wanted to remember them like it was.
I didn't know what to expect, but I did watch it last night.
And I thought they did a good job. I had a lot of. There was. I didn't know what to expect, but I did watch it last night and I'll be
a good job. I had a lot of no revelations. Were you a big friends fan? I was more of a
sign-filled fan. Yeah, me too. And then I would go ahead and watch friends because it followed
it. It was on that Thursday night, you know, whatever. Thursday night audio domination or
whatever. Yeah, they were paired together. Uh, what was it Thursday night was there's a night funny
Chrissy Thursday night funny. I think it was a better marketing
The people that NBC okay guys
We got four number one shows. We got cheers sign fell friends and brazier all back to back to back
We got to come up with a slogan. We're gonna knock it out of the bar. Oh
Funny yes brilliant who is that guy? Oh, I'm James We got to come up with a slogan. We're gonna knock it out of the park. About 30 nights, funny.
Yes.
Brilliant.
Who is that guy?
Um, James.
James, what department do you work in?
Uh, I'm the exterminator.
Higher James.
James is the head of the marketing department.
Yeah.
Thursday night, funny.
Put it everywhere.
Ah.
It was a Thursday night. It's we're funny. Yeah, I've been, put it everywhere. Ah. It was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was,
it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, uh, it was, uh, it was, uh, it was, hottest thing that ever happened to her. Yeah, of course.
I still think she's incredibly attractive.
Yes.
My wife knows that's my one.
That's my one.
That's my lady, right?
If she walks into my life and is like,
for one night, you can have Aniston.
I would, my wife would be like, okay, one night.
He's called it.
Got it for one night.
Yeah, he's gonna cry.
He's just gonna cry.
He's gonna cry.
He's gonna cry. He's gonna cry. He's just gonna cry. He's gonna cry. He's gonna cry.
Yeah, he's gonna cry. It's not gonna be a lot of fun for you, Jen. It's okay. I'm on this charity
tour. I'm going to Dean the sex style guy and Brian next. I'm going to the canoe guy. Um, so I, I never was a huge fan.
I watched it more in reruns than I did.
Yeah, I think me too.
I also think at 18, 19, 20 years old, I'm not sure that when I, when I was homeless,
I'm not sure I had a TV number one number two.
I'm not sure it's the most important thing on my mind at the time was watching TV.
So I watched a lot of this stuff in rerun.
But I can't say that I didn't enjoy it because I did.
I like friends was kind of like, to me, it was like a no brainer type of comedy that you
would just watch, right?
No brainer.
Just watch it.
It was funny.
It was interesting, whatever.
They had this reunion and before it even came out last a couple of Thursdays ago or
whenever it was, they were talking about how bad the reunion was.
Like, oh, it's horrible.
This is not what you expect.
James cordon's a douche.
She'll like, you know, why are we doing this?
Why are you getting everybody back together
to essentially talk about not being back together?
There's no episode going on.
There's no update as to where the characters are.
They're just sitting on the couch,
remembering all the things.
Which by the way, they had done with Conan O'Brien
back in the day right before they went off air.
They did the same thing, right? But Conan O'Brien back in the day right before they went off air. They did the same thing, right?
But Conan O'Brien was the person who was talking.
Now, all of that said, Astrid really wanted to watch it
because she was a huge friends fan.
So she watched it.
I caught most of it and I have to say,
I actually found it pretty enjoyable.
I was like, oh, you know, and it was a little,
I guess it's emotional,
because I'm at a certain point in my life,
like a certain age, I'm at like 20,
and a douchebag who doesn't understand
that I don't have the rest of the world in front of me.
I guess I get a little emotional sometimes
when I see other people getting emotional
about times in their life that were important.
And so I thought to myself,
well, these people really experience something
that no one else will ever experience,
the kind of stardom that by the way, no one will ever have again.
No television star will ever have that kind of fame and fortune again.
Now, they may have that kind of fortune, right?
Like money-wise, but I'm talking about like fame and fortune as far as being known throughout
the world and just the kind of rocket ship that these people took in just two seasons.
They were all the sudden multi-millionaires,
most famous people in America for sure without a doubt.
Everyone wanted to be them or be with them.
That's right, yep.
And everyone talked about friends.
That doesn't happen now because we have our own channels.
We only tune into our own channels.
We don't tune into what's shared.
Splendored. That's right.
You have so many choices that it's, you know, to own channels. And we only tune into our own channels. We don't tune into what's in. It's blurred. That's right.
You have so many choices that it's, you know, getting two million people to watch an
NBC show now, two million, three million is a big deal.
But back then, they were regularly getting 16 to 25 million people to tune in on any given
Thursday night.
And that didn't include the reruns or whatever other episodes that they were doing.
So I kind of got emotional thinking, yeah, these people really went on a rocket ship ride
together and now they're here and they're revisiting it.
Now I have to say Chandler or Matthew Perry,
he didn't look so hot.
He, I think there was some speculation that he might be high
during the stage.
Yeah, we're drunk.
I saw something about drunkness.
He is.
He looked bad.
I can't talk.
Yeah.
He. Cheers. Cheers. about drunk. He's he's he's also drunk during our reunion,
special happening right now. DCB TV special of every union. Remember episode two last
week when episode two came out. So I watched it and I was like, okay, this is good. I
actually thought this is well done. It's well put together.
They smartly cut Matthew Perry out of most of it.
Right?
Did you notice that?
Yeah, I did.
He was like, you know, almost none of it.
And it got me thinking, you know, I should go back
and watch friends because I've maybe
out of the 255 episodes, I've probably seen 60 of them,
70 of them, 80 of them, maybe.
I, I, not all of them certainly.
So I thought, oh, you know, it'll be a good venture
for me to do in all of the free time that I find myself with,
is to go back and watch friends from episode one.
So I started, and I started doing it.
The first thing that I realized is just how fucking
old that television show is.
Yeah, it is.
And how bad the first couple of episodes are.
They're really cheesy and corny.
Yeah.
Like, it's, there's nothing biting about it.
There's nothing witty or satirical,
it's just kind of cheese ball comedy, right?
And I thought to myself, I don't think I think,
I thought this was much better than the next one.
You pulled what?
That's the thing, that's why I didn't want to watch
the reunion because I wanted to remember it
as like a funny show and not cheesy.
And most of my ex-girlfriends say the same thing about me,
they'll make my friends, I I don't wanna see Brian again.
I just wanna remember him as the asshole who cried in bed.
So, who would look the oldest to you?
I think Courtney Cogs looked the youngest.
Courtney Cogs?
Yeah, I thought she looked really young.
I thought she looked a little plastic, fantastic,
if you asked me.
Well, maybe that's why she... She looked like a sex dolphin. She did look like a sex dolphin. I mean, looked really young. I thought she looked a little plastic, fantastic, if you asked me. Well, maybe that's why she, I don't know.
She looked like a sex dolphin.
She did look like a sex dolphin.
I mean, she's listening.
She's still a very attractive woman.
They all look good, I don't know.
I thought Jennifer Aniston looked the best.
Yeah, I will say always look good.
But I'm prone to, yeah.
She looks like a natural beauty.
She does.
She doesn't look like she any work done, right?
She looks great.
I mean, maybe she had her boobs done,
but she looks great.
Yeah.
And then Phoebe Cates, is that her name?
Phoebe Cates?
No.
Phoebe was her name on the show.
It's Lisa Kudrow.
Oh, Lisa Kudrow.
Phoebe Cates is the whole of their actor.
Lisa looked good, right?
Yes, she does.
And she's been in things both her and Jennifer Anson
have been in things consistently.
Yeah, those two.
Different Phoebe shows in different ways.
Jennifer Aniston does a lot of like,
she does a lot of like independent films,
which I appreciate, and I actually think
she's a pretty good actress.
Yeah.
And then Lisa Kudrow's done it,
but so is Chandler, not Chandler.
What's his name?
The other one, the kind of topic.
Joey.
Joey, what's this really?
Dang, if you hadn't asked me.
Joey, Matt LeBonk.
Matt LeBonk.
Matt LeBonk.
Matt LeBonk looks a little chunky, looks a little chubby,
but that's what happens when you got a bunch of muscles
and then you get older.
It's like turns all into fat, but he looks good
and he's pretty fucking funny.
He is, yeah.
David Schwimmer looks like he has permanent,
he looks like he has a had a ton of plastic surgery.
He was very smiley.
He's like,
thank you for inviting me to friends here.
I thought it was kind of cheesy even they were doing the table reads like now of the stuff
that they the episode.
You know what happened?
During the pandemic as people were thirsty for content and they started to figure out
how they were going to get people in a room to do stuff.
One of the first things that happened that or one of the things that happened in coordination
with like the actual new content that came out
that was filmed during the pandemic
was the West Wing table read special.
The stage special.
Did you see that?
No, I didn't see that.
They took one of the episodes and they did it on a stage.
Like not with a bunch of sets,
but just like a desk, a doorway.
And that was it.
And it took all the original actors,
except for John Spencer, who played the chief of staff
and they got E.B.
What's the guy, the black guy's name,
the really good looking one, Elba,
Eismann, what's he know I'm talking about?
Yes.
The guy was gonna play the new 007.
Yeah.
Super good looking guy, super great actor.
And so they replaced him with John Spencer.
Anyway, that was a huge hit. and it was a really good show.
It was an episode I've seen a million times,
but it was done so fantastically and tastefully
and it was it was a great show.
So I think they wanted to like kind of shut it
to pick up on some of that magic, right?
But they didn't it ended up being a little bit cheesy.
But to me, everyone like was in rather good spirits.
They all seem to have you know have jovial personalities about it,
except for Matthew Perry, who looked fucked out of his mind.
I'm sorry.
He was like, well, then I saw a few days later
that he had broken up with his fiance.
He did?
It was like 40 years younger than him.
She was like 19 years old.
Holy shit, was that girl hot?
I was like, wow.
But when you got that friends money,
yeah, when you got that friends money,
and you're gonna make that friends money
for the rest of your life,
I can understand having a addiction
to something, some painkillers alcohol.
And he looks so gaunt and drawn out.
And then he was, so there's a nap,
there's a, this video is out online.
Maybe we'll put it up on the, on the show notes.
There's a video, the three of them are sitting there,
the three men, the swimmer and the Lebonk and the Perry.
Yeah.
And the Perry.
And they're sitting there.
And Lebonk is talking, he's on the far left, far right.
And he's talking and the swimmer's in the middle
and then you got Perry.
Perry.
Well, they were playing like a win loser draw type game
or something.
No, no, no, no, I'm talking about this.
It's like a, like they're talking to ET.
They're doing like a, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
they're doing promotional stuff, right?
But someone took the out takes from that.
And so the camera, one of the cameras is paned in
on Matthew on LeBlanc while he's talking,
but the other camera has got all three at the camera angle,
has all three of them. So they cut, the camera angle has all three of them.
So they cut to the camera angle with all three of them.
The block is talking in Matthew Perry is like this.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Shhh.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
Shhh.
Guys are trying to do an interview over here.
Hey, don't wear.
He's pointing behind the camera.
And he's like, you can hear him.
He's like, I'm trying to do an interview over here.
That's one over here, that's camera.
Ah!
He's so hammered, right?
And he's like falling off his chair.
You know, people get when they're drunk.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
me and her, hey, they're talking.
Let them figure it out, those are adults. Let them figure out those dark dots.
Let them figure it out.
You guys figured it out yet?
You guys will let them figure it out.
I just told her that he's sleeping with her best friend
that just everyone's adults, we can't,
shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh,
we can't figure it out.
No, don't get in the middle.
It's all, they're, oh, they're,
oh, they're, what, they're punching each other.
The police came, what? I guess that's it, we're got the way I hope to.
That's you Perry is doing that whole number, right?
The whole drunk number.
Did I miss that?
I'll show you the video, right?
And so LeBlanc finally is like, is everything okay?
And the director is like, hey, we're filming all three of you.
And he's like, oh, they're all three of us are getting filmed.
But Perry is like, all three of us are getting filled.
And the blonde's like, you know,
hey man, why don't I just do this the whole time,
your talk, like all the sun that's around, right?
And I'm like, wow, he showed up,
amr, man, they must, they cut him out
because he was probably doing that the entire time.
Okay, you have a video,
but it wasn't shut on the internet.
The entire time that they were in this reunion,
the three days they were in this reunion.
The three days they were filming this,
I can just see Matthew Perry like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, America's no one calls me. What? They don't because you're a drug addict.
And you know, when during the show, while the show was going on, Matthew Perry actually
calls the production to stop for a number of months because he had to go to rehab.
If I remember correctly, if I remember correctly, he had an addiction to painkillers, a bad
addiction to painkillers, and he had to go to rehab.
And this was a big deal at the time because it was like production got stopped, right?
So that he could go to rehab.
And I'm sure these people are like, dude,
we are making two fucking million dollars in episode.
We worked really hard for this.
Can you like, you know, two like,
can you like ratchet it down to four
of Icon in a day?
Yeah, three hundred.
A faster 10.
Yeah, dig a some ass.
Okay, man, you bud.
I mean, or keep your Icon in addiction under control like the rest of us
You know the doctor helped you with that shit a little up little down
Get you going for the show come on. I feel functioning at it like the rest of us who are making two million dollars in episode
That's it for episode number three of tcb the lost tapes
That's our fireside edition go to www.tcbpodcast.com
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Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Hodley,
with additional content provided by Tina Cano. You you