The Commercial Break - That TCB Lifestyle

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

Episode #601: We switched it up last minute and are bringing you a regular TCB episode this fine Infomercial Tuesday! This episode is a true reflection of the TCB Lifestyle…drugs, EPMs, and a pretty pretty penis. TCB the lifestyle pod The Bear was snubbed Zac Efron getting jacked We’re going to bed early Nat Geo/Drugs Inc Buying shitty weed in Techwood Cocktober Krissy got contacts The man that has 100 unwanted orgasms a day A pretty pretty penis Ben, Jen, & Dunkin Blue might have diabetes? Bryan pronouncing Chappell Roan as Chappelle Ronan Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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I'm Mr. Sterling everything. I'm his confidant his best friend His silly rabbit his what his silly rabbit his silly rabbit. Yeah, is that what he calls you now? On this episode of the commercial break You know this may not be I'm not I don't like give life advice here Next episode of the Commercial Break. When life gets down, just keep coming, just like you said. I'm gonna remember those words for the rest of my life. Yeah. The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now. The 30th of the morning! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to The Commercial Break.

I'm Brian Green, this is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kris. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. I was going to say you're the hacks to my bear. Right. But I don't know that everyone would pick up on that, but I don't know that people pick up on half the shit I say. So you're the hacks to my bear.

I get what you mean by that. I've never even seen the bear. Never seen one full episode. Not yet. Astrid and I have it on our list. It's our next thing to tackle. And then Shogun, and then the other seasons of Hacks that I haven't watched. Every time there's like Emmys or the Oscars, Astrid and I start putting together lists and we're like, we gotta watch this, and we never end up watching it.

But the bear is on my list because I've worked in the restaurant industry and I think I would get it. I think it's like, you know. I think so too. I would get it. And because it's apparently so fucking good, or season one and two, as some people are mixed on the season three. But I don't listen to the critics.

I watch Sister Wives for God fucking sake. I know, that was plain when I was watching the studio. Yeah. Cody and his hijinks. Yeah, I just, I put it on in the background. I can't take those people. It was never gonna work out. Anyway, I don't wanna talk about Sister Wives. I don't give a shit. But the bear apparently is very,

very good. And it was snubbed because apparently some people don't think season three, they were, this is the confusing part. Apparently for your consideration season two, but many people believe that for your consideration wasn't considered and that people watch season three and said wow this is kind of an intense and down-the-rabbit hole deep and Philosophical season like you know an insider's kind of look at the brains of the people that are working and So it's not really funny and therefore it was passed up for best comedy now I don't know because I've never seen it I was surprised that it was in the comedy category

to begin with. It has been pitched as a comedy. I guess so. I mean, there's some funny parts to it. I'm surprised we're in the comedy category. Actually, we're not on Spotify. Did you know that? No.

We are not a comedy podcast on Spotify. We're in lifestyle. Lifestyle. We're in the lifestyle. Yeah, because Spotify does their own, like they won't let you choose. They just do their own. They categorize you. And I don't know what dumb dumb at Spotify.

God bless people at Spotify. I have nothing against them. But I don't know what dumb dumb at Spotify or dumb dumb AI at Spotify put us in the lifestyle category. We're barely comedy. You should put us in the other category. Other. Then we might get on those charts. So yeah, so the bear was snubbed at the Emmys last

night. Hacks takes the... Hacks has been good. I watched season one. I thought it was fucking fantastic. I really did. Season two was really good as well. Season three wasn't actually my favorite. That just came out. I don't know. I haven't gotten to it yet. And then Shogun takes away 18 Emmy awards. I thought you said you had watched that. We talked about Shogun.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the other one. Warrior? No, the LA Confidential? No, not LA Confidential. Oh no, it was Tokyo. Tokyo Vice. Tokyo Vice, yeah, Tokyo Vice. Shogun's in the, it's about the 1600s. Something like that.

Yeah. I can't wait to watch it. Olden times. Back in the olden times. Japanese, what's that? It's a great show. Is it? Jeff and I loved it. My brothers have watched it. They've all said it's just fantastic. So that's on our list too. I know Astor won't watch that with me, so I think I get started on that one. But God bless if I start the bear without her. God bless if I start the bear without her. Can't do that. There's a whole like unwritten thing too with the partners. Yes.

That you cannot start something or get further into something you both have started. No. No. I'll tell you which one. There was that one with Amy, was Amy Poehler, what was the one that where she was playing the, it was like the, the Hollywood country club. What was that called? Palm something? Oh, Palm Royale. And that's Kristen Wiig. Kristen Wiig. I'm sorry. Yes. Kristen Wiig, Palm Royale. That was a bizarre show. Astrid started watching it. I walked in one night, I caught like 15 minutes and I was like, oh, this is great. I want to watch this. And she's like, okay, well, I'm on episode

number three, you got to catch up. And I said, she goes, so I'll stop after this, if you're going to catch up. And I was like, I'll do it. And then two weeks later, I got to it. No, I got to it. I watched one episode and I was like, yeah, no. I said, go ahead. I kept going with it just because I love Kristen Wigg and like Carol Burnett's in it. And there's a lot of good, really good, you know, actors in there, Laura Dern. Is Carol Burnett in the bear also? I don't think so. No, who's in the, who's in the bear? It's a bunch of people. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I loved that the lead actor I loved him in the wrestler. I thought that was fantastic I did not see that

with um You know, it's really nice that we come in here We talk about all these shows and I don't know one fucking person on any of these shows The wrestler was that with Mickey Rourke? No, no, no, no Or was it the boxer? Oh, what was that? Uh, the re-

Sorry, I've got this You can hear me typing. The, uh, know that lead actor Jeremy, he also just did like a campaign for Calvin Klein or somebody, like a modeling campaign. Oh, the Iron Claw. Yeah, he did. He's, he's a handsome guy. I mean, like, I don't think like handsome in the most traditional of senses. He's got kind of a big jaw. Uh, the Iron Claw is what I watched. The wrestler was with Mickey Rourke. Jeremy Allen White, he was one of the brothers in this movie, The Iron Claw. Now I understand this is probably not everybody's cup of tea, but I thought

that movie was fucking fantastic. Okay, I saw it pull up on my suggestions and I almost watched it and then I didn't. It's worth the two hours. It really is. And Zac Efron is blown in that movie. That guy is swole. I didn't. It's worth the two hours. Okay. It really is. And Zac Efron is blown in that movie. That guy is swole. I don't understand how he transforms his body like that because Zac's, you know, he's a nice guy. He's kind of buff. He's got a little bit of muscle, but you don't think of Zac as like a bodybuilder type. And when you see him in this movie, it is evident that, I mean, I don't wanna cast dispersions and I do not know this, this is Brian hypothesizing

that Zack must have had some help, some testosterone, something, because he is so fucking big in this movie and his whole face is big, like his jaw gets distorted. Didn't he break his jaw doing that movie or something? I feel like he broke his jaw doing it. I think he might be right. His neck and his jaw doing that movie or something? I feel like he broke his jaw doing it. I think he might be right. His neck and his jaw, something like that.

Anyway, Jeremy Ellen White is a fucking fantastic in that movie. So I'm so interested to see the bear. I'm glad we're talking about how Brian wants to eventually watch the bear. Aren't you glad you tuned in today? Breaking news. Breaking news. It's good that you have aspirations and goals. I do have aspirations and goals.

They mainly revolve around- We're going to get on the plane. Well, we're going to be on a plane too. That's right. One week away from today, we'll be in Orlando. As you're listening to this, we'll be in Orlando. And then six days from now, we'll be in Dainty Beach at the Dainty Improv. And man, we could not be more excited and dreading it all of it.

I'm just dreading going through security. That's like what I get stressed about. I'm like, ah, fuck. Can't take my heroin. Does this prescription need to be in my name, sir? No? Okay. I'll just put it in my mint box. Yeah, I mean, listen, I'm excited. I'm excited to go do the shows. I know some people are coming. I don't know how many, is some. But there's-

We're breaking out of our comfort zone. I think we have to do it. I really do. I feel like we need to go out there and see the world. We've been in these four walls or those four walls. We've been in this, the collective four walls of this house for five years almost. And we've never done a meet and greet, we've never said hello to anybody via the phone maybe or by email,

and a few people who have called and left us death threats on our voicemail. But we have never actually been outside of these four walls with the show. And I feel like it's time. We were talking about this for two years, and so I'm glad it came together. These may be our only two live shows, so you make sure you get down there if you have an opportunity. I mean, I got kids, I can't be on the road, you know, 200 days a year. But I don't know how that SmartList does it. You know, they could do a go do live shows too. I think they like, but SmartList could pretty much pick any venue they want to at any day. And people are gonna part the seed to make sure that that happens.

The commercial break, we got Tuesday night at Daniel B.H. Yes we did. But I'm excited because we've talked to some folks, a lot of comedians in the know and they say Daniel improv is fantastic. They did, yeah. The bone, how can you go wrong with the bone? The bone.

I mean, chew on the bone, right? We're gonna go chew on the bone. It's meat on the bone. Yeah. That's what they're gonna give us for payment at the end. Here's a bone. From all the three course meals we didn't sell. A chicken bone. The dinner packages. Yeah. Can I get some food? No, you can't. Sell some tickets, then Can I get some food? No, you can't.

Sell some tickets, then you can get some food. So, we'll be there and tickets are still available, I'm sure of it. Down in the show notes, you can click on the link or you can go straight to the venue website, our website, Instagram, all that other stuff. Yeah, there's a couple people who have said they want to come and say hello, so I'll bring my bulletproof. Danielle Pletka Yeah, I mean, I think we know that at least five people are coming to each show. I think more than five at Dania. Yeah, I know, I know. We have at least, I don't know, I'm

not going to say numbers, but I know we have probably a fair crowd going to Dania Beach, and then Orlando is more of a crapshoot, which I would expect that there's just going to be a lot of people coming from Disney World, like a lot of adults whose kids are asleep who are out for the night or, you know, like Disney adults. And they have no idea what's coming for them. I imagine you get down there. Hope it would be a good surprise. You go down there to get the Disney magic and you show up at the commercial TCB live. Fuck your mama and her pussy. Jeff's gonna be there.

Jeff's gonna be there. That's what's gonna be there. Christine is gonna be there doing the show with us. I'd like to think that Tina is coming, I think. So some of the show regulars are gonna be down there. Some of the voices that you hear and some of the people that you've seen on the show are gonna be down there. We're gonna make an event of it.

Brian's gotta be to bed by 9 15, so get there early. I'm old, I can't take it. Honestly, part of me is a little bit concerned because I put my kids to bed so fucking early, they're so small. I put them to bed so early and after like a long day, I'm so winded. I don't go to bed like super duper early, but I'm usually in bed no later than 10, 30, 11 o'clock. There's the rare occasion where I'm here editing till 12, 30 or one in the morning, but that doesn't happen very much anymore. And so I'm a little concerned that like halfway

through the show, I'm gonna need a nap. Like I'm gonna, on our rider, I asked for a cot. I swear to God I did. I said a cot and some melatonin. You're going to pick right back. It's like riding a bike. You're going to pick right back up and you're not going to have the kids. So no, that's right.

Right. I'm going to pick up right where I left off. Right. The last line that I started is going to go right back. I need a gin and tonic. And which one of these which one of these patrons is the cocaine dealer? To pick the person at the end of the bar. Oh, it's a comedy club. You know that, I'm not going to say that anyway. I'm sure that some of

our listeners are going to come and they're going to come loaded. You know what I'm saying? They're going to come with their pockets full of shit. And mean, and listen, do what you're going to do. Just be safe about it and make sure to offer Chrissy and I some and then we'll be all good. You really want to see Chrissy and I go wacko? Give me some Molly before the show. That's what I'm talking about. Oh my God. We'd be up there rolling around. I love you. Yeah. You're so warm and fuzzy. Brian's just petting Chrissy. Chrissy's got a ring pop. A ring pop.

Mixed vapor rub. Finger dip. Finger dip, finger dip, finger dip. You know what, speaking of television shows, I was flipping through the channels the other day and I saw National Geographic has turned in to basically like your busted channel, you know what I'm saying? They just do anything that has to do with people getting arrested for something and mainly with drugs. I mean, National Geographic's a great channel.

They have some good shows, but I don't watch it much anymore because I feel like it makes me a little paranoid about what's going on in the world and my own activities. And so, but I flipped on the other day and I saw Drugs, Inc. Have you ever seen that show? Yeah, that's a popular show. Yeah, so Drugs, Inc. and it was about Molly, but not real Molly, synthetic Molly, these are the parts that I watched, synthetic Molly.

So here's the setup. We go live to the postal warehouse. Isn't it all synthetic? Yeah, but like I'm talking about like the derivative mollies. Yeah. Well, if you go back to my day, I think they were like pressing like heroin and meth together to make like, you know, shitty Mitsubishi capsules, you know that Mitsubishi shit? So here's the scene, ready?

You go into this big postal annex in Los Angeles and they're bringing, they're going through packages and they suspect something through the x-ray machine and then they rip open the package. And of course it's got no return sender. They don't declare anything. It's got some random PO box somewhere in Southern California. And so the guy says, I suspect this is a package of drugs. If I look at the x-ray, blah, blah, blah. So he opens it up and it's like three really big bags, like bags of like shards of some weird brown like powder, I guess. Right? But it's like compacted. So it's like a brick almost. And so he takes it out and he tests it and it doesn't come up, doesn't test for anything that he can seize the package for.

And they got like 30,000 different things they can seize the package for. It doesn't come up, doesn't test for anything that he can seize the package for. And they got like 30,000 different things they can seize the package for. It doesn't come up with one of those. And he goes, this is a certain type of chemical that's being made in China that's supposed to, I guess, recreate the effect of molly, but no one really knows what it does to your body. It's just like they just keep changing one molecule, evading the law. It doesn't come up on any of our, you know, illegal substances tests, and then it gets sent out in the world.

He goes, I know this is going to harm somebody. I know it. I know somebody is going to have a bad night or worse, or many people will, but there's nothing I can do about it. I literally have to repack it and send it out the door to where it was going with no additional follow-up. And I was like, wow. Okay. to repack it and send it out the door to where it was going with no additional follow-up. And I was like, wow.

Okay. So Drugs Inc. then follows that package to the house where there's two white skater kids in their 20s that are like, yeah, I used to buy Mali for $15 a gram and sell it for $20 a gram. What did everybody say? Now I buy it for 50 cents and sell it for $25 a gram. I'm making a killing. And I'm like, oh my God, literally just manufacturing

shitty chemicals in China and selling them to people on the street as Molly. The game is not like it used to be. I can't believe they were on camera saying that. Well, I mean, they have a mask over their face. Oh, yeah. But I mean, anybody who's ever met these two ding-dongs is going to understand who they are. It's got like a distinctive voice, the hair, he's got like tattoo on his head. I mean, it's not really that hard to figure out. But I just thought to myself, the game has fucking changed. I remember going down to Techwood. Techwood in Atlanta is a storied neighborhood. It is where Georgia Tech currently sits. It was near the campus of Georgia Tech, and it was bad. Bad scene. And a guy like me should never have been down in

Techwood. But I somehow ended up there, literally with my other white friend, in the middle of a street, asking somebody for weed. And they gave us weed, or what we thought was weed. I think it was oregano, actually. And they sold it to us for like a hundred bucks, and they gave us a baggie that was like a, you know, a dime bag, right? It's like a hundred bucks, and I was like, done! You know? And it was shitty weed, but I never once suspected that I was going to get like some weird, manufactured, synthetic shit with fentanyl in it that's going to kill me. Never once did I suspect that. And that's why it's so crazy to me that like, and I know that this is like a really a mythology

that cocaine is being cut with fentanyl because no dealer in their right mind is going to say, here's the best cocaine in the world that makes you fall asleep for seven hours. You know what I'm saying? Like if they want to return customer, they're not gonna cut it with fentanyl. It doesn't make any sense. Has it happened? I'm sure it has. But have people done something that looks like cocaine

and it actually was fentanyl? Yeah, I'm sure that's happened a bunch and I don't want to demean that. But I don't think that dealers are actually cutting cocaine with fentanyl. It goes against business common sense. But man, it's like on the off chance, somebody at a party just like-

There's so many things to be aware of now. Yeah, finger dip, finger dead. Yeah, finger dip, finger dead. I mean, it's just, I don't know. It's scary as shit. I know I sound like an old man saying this, but the game is different. You got to look out. You know what I saw too? And like piggy fronting off this, you know what I saw? I saw that at one of these festivals, like the Wookie Pookie Fester, whatever, you know, out in the woods with 75 bands that you've never heard of and it's, pay $1,000 and get your camping spot and all that other stuff. They denied the people who come in and test your drugs for free, the people who come in and

they bring these packages, thousands of them, and they will test your drugs for free. Beth Dombkowski Which I think is fantastic. It's the best service in the fucking world. And actually, every drug store should carry this. I think some do, like independent pharmacies. But this should be free to anybody that asks. You have to go up to a pharmacist. You don't have to give a name.

You just have to show an ID that you're over the age of 18 years old, and they should give you that fucking, over the age of 14 years old, I don't know, and they should give you that fucking test right there. But festivals have been denying them access because they think it encourages people to bring drugs in the door, which is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. They're going to bring the drugs in the door, regardless if you're there. But if you don't want people dead at your doorstep, then let them test the drugs. Who fucking cares? They're gonna do the drugs anyway. Has anybody ever been to a festival?

I mean, it's just a field full of people fucked up on drugs. That's all it is. And so if you're not going to arrest everybody in the festival, then at least allow them to do this safely. They have an idea of what they're getting because I've seen videos of these same people doing these tests out in the field

where somebody brings up a bag of, I don't know, let's say, you know, I got some molly from my friend, and I wanna test it. They take a tiny, minuscule amount, they put that little substance solution in it, they shake it, and it turns out to be fentanyl. And it's like, whoa, you know, if you're gonna do this, you should be extra

careful or you should throw it away. This is not what you think it is. Or here, I got some crystal meth from my friend and it turns out to be some derivative fucking substance from some far-flung country that no one knows what it is. And they're like, hey, you should be really careful. They can educate someone right there, like be careful. Or if they've taken something accidentally, they didn't know what it was, they can tell, they can give proper medical guidance. Like, this is the way of the world in 2024, and it's a dumb, dumb, dumb that these festivals kick these people out because, you know, they're afraid of some kind of liability. It's like, fuck that. The festivals are tough to run. I got to give it to Jeff. I got to give it to Jeff. They are. There's a lot of moving pieces. I'll tell Jeff, if he needs a drug tester at his festival, I will come there and I will

test. Okay. A little for me, a little for you. MENFOFEST! I will let him know. Tickets still available at menfofest.com, by the way. I'm sure Jeff loves that endorsement right there. Tickets still available.

Get your tickets, kids. What a lineup, by the way. I know we talked about this last week, but what a lineup. Tell the kids what the lineup is. Well, we got Cody Jenkins. Cody Jenkins. How can you go wrong? Yeah, he's a little bit more country.

That's on Friday night. I'm a little bit more rock and roll. That's okay. And you got the Trey Anastasio. Trey. Yep. Band Goose on Saturday night. And then there's also,

I mean, these are just the headliners. There's tons more. Yeah. So after the roots are gonna be there, the Digable Planets. Digable Planets. Yeah, that's gonna be fun. Go get them, Jeff.

And Sunday's Jack White. And then Jack White. I've seen Jack White. And the Kills. Yeah, I've seen Jack White. I've seen Jack White. And the kills. Yeah, I've seen Jack White. I've actually seen Digable Plan. I mean, unbelievable. Great, memphofest.com,

if you're gonna be in the Memphis area. If you're gonna be within 100 miles of Memphis on October, what is it, 11th, 12th? No, it's like the 4th, 5th, 6th, I think. Oh, 4th, 5th, and 6th? It's that weekend. Jammed down. Oh yeah, it is the fourth, fifth and sixth.

That's right, because we were just talking about our calendars. It's the fourth, fifth and sixth, memphofest.com. Get your tickets. But after you get your tickets to TTCDLive. Comes the S first. I've got an interesting story to talk to you about. Let's take a break. We'll be right back.

You already know who it is. Christina here to keep you actually informed, unlike some people we know. Brian. I've got certified, verified, factual information about our Florida shows, so listen up. We are coming to Dania Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th and The Funny Bone in Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. And links to those tickets are in the show notes, so go get them.

In other completely new and interesting news, you should follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, go to our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all of our audio and video content. And finally, if you want to tell Brian and Chrissy that I am a pretty, pretty princess, or that you hate me, for all of our audio and video content. And finally, if you want to tell Brian and Chrissy that I am a pretty, pretty princess,

or that you hate me, text us or leave us a voicemail at 212-433-3TCB. That's 212-433-3822. Bye. Prime Big Deal Days is coming October 8th and 9th with exclusive savings just for Prime members, involuntary deal squeals can happen. Like the deal on new running shoes squeal,

the deal on a new blender squeal, or the infamous deal on a new massager squeal. Save big on electronics, fashion and more this Prime Big Deal Days, October 8th and 9th. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high intensity I will say this after the liners play.

Christina's really great at her job. Everybody out there just wants you to know that she's really great at her job. Does she get a little snarky during the con during the liners? Yes, she does. With all the permission in the world to do so, I might add for the haters out there and listen, I don't hate you. Just keep listening to the show. But Christina is a part of the TCB team and she has permission to do what she likes on the liners. Because do you really want to listen to Brian talk for yet another minute and a

half every episode? That was the point in having her do this. So let her have a little fun with it. She is hating me on the sly. She's hating me in a way that doesn't get her fired. She couldn't say this to me in an email, so she says it to me on the liners. Okay? All right. So it's that time of year again, or it's going to be that time of year again. Cocktober is coming right up. Cocktober. I must give credit where all credit is due. That is something that I heard on the Howard Stern show years ago. I don't know if they still do it, but they used to do Cocktober. And for the whole month, it was all about cocks, you know? But I'm going to steal the term and say Cocktober is here. And Cocktober, we should remind people, 21 EPMs, Chrissy, 21 ejaculations per month.

It all began in October. Yes. I'm debating about whether or not to put another sticker in circulation, the 21 EPM sticker, because they were so popular last time. So in circulation, the 21 EPM sticker, because they were so popular last time. So, if you want a 21 EPM sticker, text me on the hotline. I've been talking to Astrid about it. We might redo one just like in a different color so you know which ones are first. It's a great sticker. It is a great sticker. Best to you.

Yeah. 21 EPM. 21 ejaculations per month. 21 ejaculations per month can reduce your chances of getting prostate cancer in this lifetime by some estimates 25%. So, get your rocks off, guys, and make sure you jizz all over the house. Hopefully in some kind of container or wash basin, you know, in the shower, down the toilet, whatever it is you do, whatever your preferred methodology is in the paper towel. I don't know what you creeps are doing out there, but just get it done. Have a little help, do it by yourself.

Whatever it is. You want to get Volkswagen-like pocket pussy, you can do that too. Have sex with a small car. I don't care. Well, you've done a show about that before. We did do a show about that before. So 21 EPMs, just reminding all of the guys, and I'll say this to you, I know, I'm not that old, and I know guys who are of similar age who have already been diagnosed with prostate cancer. It is ultra important that you get regular screenings and

that the second that you see anything amiss, you follow up on it. Remember, it's your responsibility to take care of your health. Don't assume your doctor knows everything about everything, about everything, or is doing the right thing always, because they're very busy people. Have you ever heard a fucking pharmaceutical commercial? You gotta ask those doctors about everything.

Ask your doctor if you have one eyeball falling out. Ask your doctor if green stots coming out of your teeth. Ask your doctor if an alien shoots out your neck. Speaking of eyeballs, I've just gone into, I'm dipping my toe in the water of the contact world. Oh yeah. Yeah, that's right. I went to the doctor,

because my eye doctor regular eye exams are important too. Chrissy keeps on getting 21 EPMs all over her glasses. They're hard to clean off. She's sad, she went with the contact. I got some in my eye. Do you have them right now? Yeah, I do. You do?

Okay. Are you taking them out at night? I am. Yeah, they're dailies. But it's just funny that, you know, in the stage, most of the people that I knew that went into contacts got them at a young age, you know. But now I'm getting a little bit older. I've never worn glasses or contacts all my life and I needed a little help reading sometimes.

And so I thought, well, I'll go get glasses. I did that last year. It turns out the glasses that I had were for distance and not for reading. And so I thought I really had something wrong with my eyes. I was like, this just keeps getting worse. So I went to another doctor, got a new prescription and now I'm dipping into the contact world,

and I like it. You do? Yeah, it's been tough to figure out the whole taking out and putting in. I'm still practicing, but I'm getting much better. I think you look lovely with glasses. I think you look lovely without glasses. Of course, I know you most of your life without glasses.

Yeah, I've got the glasses too. Okay, good. So when I don't wanna wear those, the contacts, I'll put the glasses on them, great with glasses. What do you do with the daily contacts once they're done? You just throw them in the trash? Yeah. That's what you do?

Are they little pieces of plastic or like rubber or something like that? Yeah, they're like little soft, tall things. I mean, I've seen, my brother wears contacts, so I've seen them. He's been wearing them for a long time. They tried to put them in my eye once. See, the thing is, is I wear, like,

I'm so blind that I wear these like super progressive glasses. And I understand that I think you can get contacts that are like that, but I think they are very expensive and they're not the daily kind. Like I can't get dailies. And I remember trying to put a contact in at an eye doctor one time 10 years ago. It's frustrating. It was very not. I was not happy. But after five, this is my fifth day. And after five days, I'm really getting it down. Good for you. Congratulations to Chrissy and her contacts. Check your prostate for cancer.

Get all your tests done. So along those lines, I read a story about three weeks ago, and I thought it would be a good time to bring it up when we started talking about 21 EPMs again. There is a guy, I mean, there's probably multiple people who have this condition. I know that there's some women that have this condition, too. There is a guy who suffers from multiple random orgasms every day, sometimes every hour. And he's been like this for a long time. You want to hear about him? I mean. Okay. Let's...

Sure. Yeah. Let's take a listen because we have to. It's just like, I think it's TCB policy that we take a listen to this. Of course you're not going to want to work for me you silly goose. Father of two, Dale Decker, suffers from a rare and seemingly incurable condition that leads to him suffering up to 100 unwanted orgasms a day. Oh 100 100 Holy shit What are two? It's been surprising enough, but a hundred. Yeah, I mean, you know, I think Astrid's like if I suffer 100 orgasms in my entire marriage

to Brian, I'll be happy. So what you're looking at is Dale is on a golf course or a frisbee golf course, I think, is probably more accurate, and he is literally down on his knees, head on the ground, pounding the ground, suffering a random marquette. I'm sorry, I know this is probably not funny to Dale Decker, by the ground, suffering a random marquette. I'm sorry, I know this is probably not funny to Dale, Decker, by the way, what a great name for this condition. But I do have to say, it is a little bit silly, I think. There's nothing pleasurable about it because even though it might physically feel good, the whole time inside your mind, you're completely

disgusted by what's going on. And depending on where you're at, if you're in public, if you're in front of kids, if you're around strangers. Yeah, that would pose problems, I think. Yes, I'd like a pumpkin cream lot. Do you have a napkin I can use thank you very much it can make a person break real fast 37 year old is the first man to ever speak publicly about the condition known as persistent sexual arousal syndrome or

PSAS and he says it's ruining his life. I feel bad for anybody who's got PSAS. I mean, PSAS has got to be the worst disease ever. And think about this, think about this from Dale's standpoint. He's so right. If you really do suffer from random orgasms around children, around strangers, at a dinner party, at Christmas holiday functions, I mean, how many- I don't know how you, yeah, I don't know how you live with that. I mean, that's like four times an hour. That's a lot. Including times that you're sleeping? I'm very curious. When you're on your knees at your father's funeral at his casket, and you're saying goodbye to him,

at his casket, and you're saying goodbye to him, and then you have nine orgasms right there. 9! Oh my God! I'm thinking of Irving's funeral now. I'm going to hell. Irving's funeral. Oh my God, just the way he described it, when you're down at your dad's funeral on your knees, nine orgasms later.

God. Damn, Dale. Fuck Dale. I'm really feeling for you, bro. Yeah. Whole family is standing behind you. This makes you never want to have another orgasm as long as you live. But you know what?

You just keep on coming. Jared Sussman You just keep on coming is what he said. Nicole Bledsoe Yes. Jared Sussman This has got to be someone's trolling somebody. Someone is trolling somebody. I think Dale is not real, actually. I saw this, and this video looks dated to me. It looks like it's like early 2000s, doesn't it? Nicole Bled it? Yeah. Like what Dale's wearing, his haircut. Just what he said, down at your father's casket, and you had nine orgasms, and when you think life's got you down, you just keep coming.

I mean, this is like a perfect troll. Don't you think this might be a little suspicious? This is why I bring this video to attention. It's not because I want to make fun of Dale. I'm a little suspicious of Dale's intentions with the Daily Mail Online here, who is the news broadcasting agency who decided to cover this. Dale, from Wisconsin in America, was enjoying his suburban life in 2012 when he slipped a disc in his back while getting out of a chair, triggering the condition for unknown reasons. They put me in the back of the ambulance to take me to the hospital, and on the way there

I had my first five orgasms and they've never stopped. Wow, so a slipped disc. Dail has been unable to… Wow, jeez, I've got to be careful. You've got to be careful, so a slip did. Dale's been unable to. Wow, geez, I gotta be careful. You gotta be careful, I was just looking at you. I gotta be careful around. You've got some bad issues. Maybe I should un-volunteer for the kids' school functions.

Ha ha ha. Worked since the accident and is mostly housebound through fear of experiencing an episode in public, but he enjoys playing frisbee golf with his closest friends. Good throw Dale. Well I was gonna say is that the best move for a slip disc back? No, he doesn't seem like he has a slip disc but maybe the slip disc has been fixed but for assisted orgasm.

Oh god. See he slipped, it was the slipped. It was the disc. It was the disc. The double disc. He's throwing a disc. He got a double D. He got a triple D. And then his back disc too. Anytime he goes hard on that back, he goes hard on that front.

Times in any situation, they happen when I'm awake, they happen when I'm asleep, they happen when I'm asleep, they happen in the shower. Well, that seems like the appropriate place to have them, maybe. Yeah, and I am, yeah, when you're in the shower, I mean, geez, who doesn't have persistent arousal syndrome in the shower? Just the sight of my naked body in the full length mirror. I mean, I go, wow, that's a fucking pretty penis right there, Brian, pretty, pretty penis.

I gotta ask you a question though. I think it's probably physically, you're physically unable to have five actual orgasms to ejaculation, right? So it's not ejaculating orgasms. I'm assuming these are dry orgasms, that he's extra sensitive in his ting tang, and that's making his pretty, pretty penis react in certain situations. Why doesn't he just, I don't know, tape it to his stomach or something?

Yeah, it seems like something could be done. Something could be done. ...orgasmic sensations full of my entire body. I wonder if he has to wear, like, demens. If he's jizzing. If it's not, yeah. Yeah, for sure. But I don't think it's physically possible to do that.

Like, I mean, we all know how it goes, right? Guy gets in bed with you, he woos you, he seduces you, five to six seconds of foreplay, he puts it in you, three and a half minutes later, he's done, wait a couple of hours, talk to you later, like you know what I'm saying? It takes a while to get revved back up, that's just how guys are. It feels like every muscle from here to about here is doing this. While the condition is so rare most doctors can't even diagnose it, it is widely acknowledged

by specialists in the field. PSAS is a condition of unrelenting genital arousal and spasms which is not necessarily sexual. And they have no idea when this is going to happen or how often and can lead to intense suffering. Now, I have heard of women that have this condition and it's like life altering. And so, I can only assume it must be the same for Dale, but women are diagnosed much more frequently than men are, like the host said, or the announcer, the newscaster said, he is the first man to ever be publicly

diagnosed with this, to talk about it. He's doing a PSA for the EPMs. He's doing the PSA for the PSAs. I've got, hi, have you heard about PSAs? I'm Dale Decker, professional fris- AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH professional fris- frisbee golf player Struggles to cope with the situation We tend to have arguments about stuff that really shouldn't be argued about Welcome to marriage, Kate. I mean, that has nothing to do with his pissass

Right, why was that? Yeah I know. I mean that has nothing to do with his possess. Right, why was that? Yeah. We already struggle right now. He can't work and help supply, so I feel stressed from that. And PSAS is even affecting Dale's relationship with his children, Christian and Tatum. They don't have a relationship. He doesn't go to like practices because he feels embarrassed and his don't know about his condition. So the kids don't quite understand why Dale won't be there.

The threat of a spontaneous orgasm isn't the only thing that leaves Dale afraid to leave home. Isn't there like, it sounds like he needs a good therapist or like Yogi Nanda, you know what I'm saying? To teach him how to transmute that energy into the life force out into the universe. Yes, he needs some Kundalini or he needs a good therapist to tell him how to appropriately, like in public situations, how to handle it, like take a few deep breaths and get through it. Listen, when I have an orgasm, I'm a monkey.

Like I literally bounce off the walls. If you're within 30 yards of me, you're going to probably hear me. But I also know how to control myself to a degree where I probably could be quiet if I wanted to, right? Or it could be, I don't know if I could be necessarily still, but can't Dale like make some effort to, you know, it's a damn shame that you don't go to your kids' practices because of this. Sounds like he needs like, you know how they have those garment things where you can get

dressed like those portable garment things that make kind of like garment things where you can get dressed, like those portable garment things that make kind of like a square where you can get dressed like backstage at a fashion show or something like that. Okay. It sounds like Dale just needs one of those. He carries around with him and then he can step inside, have his orgasm and step back outside and costume change. And then just be the guy who does a lot of costume changes at Daniel's soccer practice.

That's right. Sometimes I have an erection for three, four hours at a time. Oh no, that's insane, Dale. You're insane. That's insane. That's a physical emergency. Yeah. Propaism. They just come and go like 30, 40 a day. It's really hard to deal with. It's possible to have sex with my wife. We don't very often because it becomes frustrating because for me there's no end. Desperate for help, Dale has turned to therapist Diane London to see if she can shed light on the condition.

There we go. Oh, I notice he's wearing very long shirts. You see that? And cover up his manhood. Peepy. Yeah. It's peepy. What is he,? And cover up his manhood. Pete's pee-pee? Pete's pee-pee. Pete's pee-pee. What is he, three? Cover up his pee-pee.

Three part of everything in my life. When it comes to sexual issues, people get very… Oh, go ahead. Bath or break? He was at the therapist and it happened. Oh man, this is funny. I'm sorry. Dale, if you're out there and you're listening, buddy, I really do feel for you at the end of the day. I really do. I think some of your answers to some

of the questions are a little suspect, but if this is true and this is really happening to you, this is terrible. And the therapist is probably going to give you some good advice here. Let's see if you can make it through an entire session without jizzing on the couch. Yeah. I've never seen anything like that before. There are no words. I've never been with a man before. It's hard to know if it's real. This makes me want to find him some relief. Otherwise, this is a horrible way for him to have to live.

But even in the face of such desperate odds, there is hope for Dale's future. It's a very brave of Dale to come out and publicly talk about it. He's suffering, but there is help for him. There are doctors that can help him. So I hope that he's getting some help. I think the main problem is that probably nobody... There are doctors that can help him. Not me, but somebody else altogether. Yeah, exactly.

You'd think she'd offer some help. Like, let me talk to Dale. I'll get him straightened out. Nope, not me. That it's a medical condition, I think it's in his head, and it's not. He's got a real medical problem. I just try to take one day at a time. Hopefully someday, somebody will come up with something because I would like to get back to my normal life one day. Yeah, it seems like their urologist would be a place to start.

Yeah, I think there's a urologist that can like cut the nerve or something. Yeah, I was going to say, talk to the people that are doing vasectomies. Yes. They seem like a specialist. Yes, like a vasectomy, well, I mean, vasect are doing vasectomies and they seem like a specialist. Yes. Like a vasectomy, well, I mean, the vasectomy is in the ball area, but like a urologist,

someone that specializes in the handling of penises, right? I also do specialize in the handling of penises, mainly my own, but Dale, if you need some help, reach out and let us know. I know Chrissy's currently occupied with Jeff, but you know, we've got some other people on staff here that I don't know. Somebody's got to be able to help him. Somebody's got to be able to help Dale. I would think a good Jizz would then calm him down for a couple of hours.

Maybe he just has to do 21 EPMs a day. And I know that sounds like a lot, Chrissy, but you know, we're guys, we have a lot to give. You know what I'm saying? Especially Dale. It's an endless supply, right? Of Dale. You know, this may not be, I'm not, I don't want to give life advice here, Dale, but maybe this lady you're married to is not the right wife. Maybe

you need like a nymphomaniac wife. And then the two of you can help each other just like solve the problem. You know what I'm saying? There's someone out there for you, Dale, and you got to figure it out. When life gets down, just keep coming, just like you said. I'm going to remember those words for the rest of my life, Dale. All right, we'll take a break and Dale, we'll be back. Oh my God, Christina, you're an icon and a legend. That's my impression of you when I tell you that you can officially get tickets to Come See Us in Florida. We'll be at Daniel Beach Improv on September 24th and the Funny Bone Orlando on September 25th. And both of those links are already in the show notes.

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All right. Well, we're back here. We just reviewed Dale Decker's 100 EPMs per day. Wow, Chrissy, I don't know what to say. I'm flabbergasted. A medical mystery that baffled all of us, befuddled even the most expert of experts, like that lady who offered to give no help today. Yeah, she was an actual gynecologist. Yeah. But I don't know why they were talking to a gynecologist. I don't know. Well, probably because only women are, mostly women are diagnosed with this.

But I have seen other specials on women who have this particular cause. And it's- Wasn't there one on ITV? There was one on ITV. We had one time with the lady, the lady who has an orgasm every 15 minutes or something like that. Yeah, she managed to make it through the whole interview without an orgasm, but I don't think Dale, it doesn't seem like Dale makes it two minutes without an orgasm. That's just insane.

I feel like there could be something related to the porn industry that could maybe make him money. Right. Or he could be proud of himself. He could make a little cash for the family. I mean, Chatterbait was made for this kind of stuff. You know what I'm saying? Only fans, listen, Dale,

on OnlyFans and on ChatterBait, you only, the guys, this mainly pertains to the guys. You only have to go like chest down. You know what I'm saying? There's a lot of people out there who make a great living doing ChatterBait and OnlyFans and only do chest down. That's it. That's all you have to do. You don't have to tell anybody who you are, but this could turn into your fucking superhero, like Dirk Digler. Remember Dirk Digler with the 10 foot penis or whatever it was? That guy made a living.

He saw himself in the mirror one day and said, I'm going to use this for good. And then he robbed a Coke dealer, ended up getting shot. Thanks took a turn. Thanks took a turn for Dirk Diggler. But you don't have to end up that way, Dale. Dale Decker, Dirk Diggler. I know, very similar. Yeah, the double D's, they're all there. I love it. Well, I don't think it would be appropriate to, you know, we do TCB Infomercial Tuesdays. We don't air episodes on Mondays, and no,

don't even ask. So Wednesday is really our first chance to get to talk to you about any of the events that happened over the weekend. And I think it would be probably not cool of us if we went the entire episode without mentioning just a crazy series of events that went on over the weekend. As down in Florida, I think near West Palm Beach, Chrissy, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck were sighted together. I saw that, canoodling. Canoodling, what in the good golly, Miss Molly is going on in that relationship.

I love those two. I'm starting to root for them, actually. They're just like so many relationships I've been in. Break up, make up, you have the house, I'll take the just like so many relationships I've been in. Breakup, makeup, you have the house, I'll take the house, kick me out of my own house. I mean, they're just like the rest of them. They really are. They found love and they can't get rid of it. It's probably a bad, it's probably a toxic relationship at some level, but they just can't get rid of each other. And I just find it fascinating. I could give a shit less about Jennifer Lopez or Ben Affleck, unless they're making a movie that I'm interested in, honestly. And I saw them and I was like,

this is crazy. They're back together now? No, I read it too. Didn't they just get divorced? Or talk about getting divorced? Filed. She filed. Filed. Oh, she filed. Oh, Ben's back in there. And then that was the stimulation to come back. I got Ben to come back. He said, well, the paparazzi isn't that bad. I mean, for a guy who hates the paparazzi so much, he sure is doing everything he can to get back

in those cameras eyes, isn't he? He's always smoking those cigarettes and his pants down around his knees. I love him. I love Ben. Dunkin' donuts. Yeah, Dunkin' donuts, coffee. He's just a guy's guy. I mean, he's like so many of us that I know, including myself, and J. Lo is just a pretty, pretty princess and she loves a guy. She loves just like a regular dude. Yes, Ben Affleck is richer than shit

and he's made a bunch of movies, he's a great actor and we all have seen him and loved him in many different roles. I can't think of one right now, but listen, that's besides the point. He was in that one Batman that some people liked. Listen, Ben Affleck is just, at the end of the day, a normal dude, I think. I don't think he's got a lot of pretense about him. I saw him one time, I think it was Howard Stern. He did like an hour-long

interview with Howard Stern, and he was sitting, it was like during the pandemic, and he was sitting in his whatever office, and he's smoking cigarettes, and he's telling, he was like during the pandemic, and he was sitting in his whatever office and he's smoking cigarettes and he's telling, he was just talking to Howard like any other dude that I know. Yeah. Yeah, I fucked up. Yeah, if I have a drink, I get all fucked up and you know, booze took me down and booze. He had just changed smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee.

I mean, the guy looked like he just came out of an AA meeting. And I think that there was something really human about the way that he did. Sure. At least I remember watching that interview and thinking, wow, he's just really just a human. like he just came out of an AA meeting. And I think that there was something really human about the way that he did it. At least I remember watching that interview and thinking, wow, he's just really, just a human. Like, you know, there's no pretense about the guy. And JLo just fell in love with a normal dude. And what can you do when you got a normal dude

like Dale Decker or Ben Affleck? The heart wants what the heart wants. The heart wants what the heart wants. It is what it is. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at start to change. Yes, all the things. You can't tempt fate. So I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. That's what I got to say. I have to.

I have been the whole time. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen.

I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. I'm rooting for Ben and Jen. That's what I got to say.

I have been the whole time. Just like I'm reading for Travis and Taylor. Yeah, me too. I'm rooting for Travis and Taylor, but man, there's got to be a lot of pressure on that relationship. A lot of pressure on that relationship. I mean, I saw they tried to go out for pizza and it was a whole fucking mob scene. That's the one part about fame. Thank God we'll never be in this situation. I think we'll be lucky if we sell 10 tickets to the bone. But, and three of them will be drunk.

People that just came from drinking around the world at Epcot. But, that's the one thing I don't think I could deal with about fame is I would need to decompress. I would need to be away. I don't think I could handle the constant following and picture taking. I don't like pictures being taken of me,

even when it's my wife taking, even if it was like a photographer for our family photograph, I don't like it. And so I wouldn't like all of that attention. You have to be a special kind of human being, I think, and have a special kind of constitution to deal with that. And I'm still not sure, even though Taylor's done it seemingly beautifully for decades now, I'm still not sure that at some point this just doesn't crack. Like, how do you? I mean, we all thought the same thing about Brittany and look what happened

to Britt Britt. I mean, she's still suffering from her breakdown, right? And there may be- It's a lot. It's a lot. Yeah, the fame and the everybody looking at you all of the time, judging you, making comments, saying things. Yeah. And then you've got the really crazy, them stalkers and that kind of thing. And then you have Donald fucking Trump saying, I hate Taylor Swift. I mean, leave it alone.

Donald, what are you doing? Do you not understand what kind of mega superstar this human being is? She's got what? 380 million followers on Instagram. Some of them have never voted. Some of them did not intend to vote. And you're, like, just stoking the fire in the opposite direction. I just don't understand strategically why that made sense to say that. And Taylor is a human being. She's got the right to say whatever she wants to say. And,

you know, good for her for saying, you know, this is what I believe in and this is what I'm going to do. And, you know, people get all upset about celebrities and, you know, getting into politics and saying their thing. The truth is, is I really don't think that celebrity endorsements move the needle, not one fucking inch, with the notable exception of Taylor fucking Swift in 2020 and 2024. Doesn't move the needle,

but I think it moves the needle one inch. I don't think it moves the needle like 10 miles. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And they can't be humans also. Like they can't give their opinion also. I don't have to listen to it. It's, you know, I'm not going to listen to Tom Cruise if he tells me to go vote for

Zeta Phi or whatever that fucking Scientology shit is. Don't say it. Don't mention it. Don't say it. I know the whole studio will go crashing. Yes. But do you know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not going to... Just because a celebrity says something doesn't mean I'm going to do that. You'd have to be a real sycophant to do that.

But the difference is, is that I think Taylor does have the kind of cachet with a lot of her fans that could make the difference that they go and they register and then they go to vote for her, for Harris, which is who she endorsed. And I just don't understand strategically why president, former president Trump had to say, I hate Taylor Swift. It seems like a very strong statement to make for no good whatsoever. I mean, for no reason whatsoever. Yeah, but are you really surprised? No, nothing surprises me anymore about politics.

Nothing surprises me. Any guidelines, boundaries, moralities, any semblance of cooth anybody ever had in politics has long since gone out the window and Donald has used his head and his mouth to smash through those things. Some people say for the good, a lot of people say for the bad. I personally would like my politicians just a little more buttoned up. You can be a shithead, just don't do it on camera. I know that politics is corrupt. I understand it. I don't trust anybody who's in politics. It's all about ego and power. But you could put on a better face, I think, for the people that you're representing.

That's my personal opinion, but we all know how I feel about DT. DT, like we're buddies, me and Donald. And I do have to say that like, it's just terrible that we now have to deal with such political, so much political violence in our society. Now, political violence has been a part of our story since day one. Nothing new under the sun. But you'd think we'd evolved a little bit, but I guess fucking not because people are still getting shot at and that's a goddamn shame. And I don't care. I may not like the guy, but I don't

want to see him dead. I don't want to see him shot. That's not what I want. I don't want that. I would never want that. That's ridiculous's ridiculous. He's got a family He's got children. He's got you know, he's got things to do and people that care for him and you know It's just a fucking shame that by the way, how do you get that close? I know like an electric fence or something Well, they said it is a problem because I guess that specific course runs up against like a main road I guess they were really confused as to how he, how that guy knew that he would be playing or playing golf there. I don't know. You know, well, he tweets every fucking five seconds. He tweets it or somebody else who's playing with him

tweets it. I mean, you know, it's 2024, information moves so fast. Or maybe he was just staking it out for a long period of time and understood that, hey, it's a day off and he's going to be there or maybe he's not going to be there. And goddamn, the Secret Service, who has like, you know, really had a tough time the last couple of months, they got it right this time. They did, they caught him. They saw somebody in the bushes and they saw the barrel of a gun sticking out of the bushes. It's like, it's literally like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. He was sticking a barrel out of the bushes and somebody saw it. It's crazy. It's insane. I don't wish ill upon anybody and certainly not the former president. And that's fucking bullshit. But then, you know,

also don't say I hate Taylor Swift. I mean, people are loony, Donald. People are loony. And he knows it. He knows that people are loony. I mean, and so does, you know, so does the other side. They all know that people are loony and there are people, I think, who are subject to small intonations and inuations and, insinuations, and I think that some people read between the lines even when there's nothing there. And so it gets them all riled up and hot and heavy and boiled up and then give them a gun and fuck man, it's kind of shitty. I'm not running for president anytime soon, Chrissy, but if I do, I want you on my Secret

Service. I want you standing right in front of me everywhere we go. I want you to take the bullet. I don't know, for some reason, I just feel like you'd survive a bullet, a bullet wound better than I would. So that's, that's what you know, we're going to do. Blue, blue, blue. I'm just going to wear blue. Like one of those baby, like in the baby characters, baby carriers. Speaking of blue, you know, I think, and this is a little bit sad, we've had a hell of a

run with health issues here at the commercial break over the last year. We really have. It's just been left and right and left and right. I think Blue has diabetes. I know. And apparently the Yorkies are like, they're prone to get diabetes. We've noticed that she's drinking in like a big dog bowl, a dog bowl for big dogs of water every single day. And she's peeing like 30 times a day. Swear to God that she is. And so, we were reading,

Asher was reading and she said, I think she might have diabetes. This is like the number one sign that I've had. Diabetes? Diabetes. Diabetes. I'm Will for Bremley for diabetes. Do you have diabetes? Well, your hover round can help you get around the Grand Canyon with less diabetes. No more diabetes at the Grand Canyon. Put that diabetes away and head to the top of the Eiffel Tower with your hover round. Wilford Bremley. I think they're still running those Wilford Bremleys. I think they are too. Anyway, yeah, I think Blue has diabetes. Keep us posted. I will keep you posted and,, yeah, I think Blue has diabetes. Keep us posted.

I will keep you posted and you know, I don't want to. I don't want anything bad to befall Blue either. No, she was extra, extra today. Tamed today, yeah. Tamed. Well, no, when you walked in, she was like, she went fucking ape shit. Yeah, she's been extra all weekend long.

I don't know, she's got a bee in her bonnet. Get an extra bee in your bonnet, make a little bird house in your soul. Is that the song? I don't know. Ha ha ha. They Might Be Giants, is that it? Yeah, they might be giants, I don't know.

They Might Be Giants. They Might Be Giants. Yep. Ah, I was listening to little Sturgill Simpson over the weekend. Oh, good stuff. I love him. Yeah, he's so good. He. Yeah, he's so good.

He's great. He's so good. He's so good. That's what we're listening to, Chappelle Rome. Oh yeah. So good. How fun. It sounded like a fun dance party.

You know who I went, I saw it on a commercial and I went back down the whole of Tribe Called Quest. Oh, I love Tribe Called Quest. One of the greats. Tribe Called Quest. You know who's not Tribe Called Quest? TCB, but we're gonna be down. And for the price of two cups of coffee,

you too can see Chrissy and Brian live. Dania Beach Improv, the Dania Improv at Dania Beach. Go to the show notes, click the link, you can get your tickets. You can also do that for the Funny Bone. That's next Tuesday at Dania Beach on the 24th, on the 25th at the bone We would love to see you. I think doors open at seven and one and eight at the other

It's you know a couple hours will be with you. No opening act. We couldn't convince anybody to come We tried But there will be There will be a sound check. So we'll get that out of the way Chrissy and I were hoping we could kill 45 minutes with the sound check, but nay, they're going to make us do it beforehand. So anyway, we can't wait to see you down there. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822.

Questions, comments, concerns, content, ideas. We take them all, text message or voicemail. Let us know if you're going to be at the shows. We'll bring you something. We're bringing things. So if you're gonna be down there and you let us know, we'll add one more. My signature.

My signature on a check that's no good. Ha ha ha. TCB check. From a former bank account that's now a clip. Add the commercial break on Instagram. TCB podcast on TikTok and YouTube.com slash the commercial break on Instagram, TCB Podcast on TikTok, and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all of our guest interviews, selected episodes, and clips. Alright, Chrissy. Oh, tcbpodcast.com. Alright, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so.

But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say, and we must say, goodbye. This is an ad from BetterHelp. As kids, we were always learning and growing. But at some point as adults, we tend to lose that sense of curiosity and excitement.

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