The Commercial Break - That's a Big Sack Of Presents!

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

Christina joins Bryan in the studio to discuss her favorite genre of music: Slutty Christmas. Let’s talk about sex ba-by! Hot tub streamers Toes only! Christina’s feetfinder account Pleasure, pai...n, and smashing bananas 2023 Pornhub Wrapped We love a mature cougar The Clermont Lounge Siri getting involved Kevin Costner and Jewel Big Power! Loose tongue baby talk Slutty christmas A Nonsense Christmas, by Sabrina Carpenter Drew Barrymore’s Oprah interview Jada Pinkett Smith Please stop telling us the details, girl Stroking that arm Who has cable? LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**    

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's an absolute honor to be here today in full fucking glam at 8am on a Thursday morning. On this episode of the commercial break. Show it to me, Barnum! Get me to me now! That's how the kids are gonna be doing it. They're gonna be like, hey Siri, Grande, area out of Grande! Bigest things you ever seen! Show it to me! Sorry, I'm not able to make a phone call at this time. Whoa!
Starting point is 00:00:29 But you can't ask me to place a FaceTime call. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. I get asked! I get asked again! It's walking back to the commercial break! I'm Brian Reign! This is the audio editor of ass. Chris need us.
Starting point is 00:00:48 Some bitches. Okay. Vessio, Christina. Vessio, Brian. Vessio, I'm there in the podcast universe. Christina joining us while, uh, Chrissy takes a couple extra days off to be with family. Wish her all the best. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:01 And her family too. Okay. I want to tell you a couple things. Sex related because you know why not. Why not? Why not? Because you're legally obligated to allow me to talk about sex per our country. You're damn right. No, I'm just a department. It's just a test. Yeah, we're lucky to have her. So a couple of months ago, I was talking a couple months ago, a month ago, I
Starting point is 00:01:24 talked to I can't remember now because there's just you have where everyone's rotating through the seat for the last couple of months ago, I was talking, a couple of months ago, I talked to, I can't remember now because there's, you know, everyone's rotating through the seat for the last couple of months, but I was talking to somebody, I think it might have been Tina, about the hot tub streamers on Twitch. Uh-huh. And then I got kind of sucked into a rabbit hole,
Starting point is 00:01:37 this girl that I follow on Instagram. Doing research for the show. I got sucked in a rabbit hole, not sucked into a rabbit hole. I got sucked in a rabbit hole, not sucked into a rabbit hole. I got sucked into this rabbit hole. Yeah. These four women that were in a hot tub, they had the camera set up, they were streaming live, and people were making requests of them that I didn't understand to be English,
Starting point is 00:01:59 or even shorthand. Like had it been ATM, then I would have known, asked them out, right? Oh. Like you said, FIP, or FIB fing ATM, then I would have known, asked them out, right? Or like you said, FIP, or FIB, finger and butt. I would have understood that stuff. Not because I'm a perv, but because this is what I do for a living. I look at you. I look at you.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Yes, I'm hiding behind the commercial break as a perv. That is the dream job. Yeah, listen, somebody comes in on this history. If someone watches, looks at the history of that computer, they're going to jail. Basically, I'm going to jail. basically, I'm going to jail. God, I hope not. I'll be out of a job.
Starting point is 00:02:27 No, not that, I don't get that. You just sit in the seat. Stay where you about to keep it going. Someone's going to need to send Papa some jail cash. I'm going to need to buy those cupo noodles. The jail of the guys from putting their finger in my butt, you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah, yeah, you'd be right for the pickin'. Oh, I'm a cutie. I know you know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, yeah, you'd be right for the pickin'.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Oh, I'm a cutie. I know. Listen, I've been so fragile. Yeah, my balls right now are fragile. So fragile. They're like little too little, like broken eggs. So, I read this story that Twitch is now having to loosen up their rules around nudity because so many creators are complaining that they're getting banned for not what they Twitch is now having to loosen up their rules around nudity
Starting point is 00:03:05 because so many creators are complaining that they're getting banned for, what they call non-sexual nudity. And I think this really centers around hot tub streamers, is what they call them, or what they're being referred to as hot tub streamers. Because apparently, and now I know, there are a lot of women and some men who film themselves in the hot tub and then they skirt the lines of what twitch would consider
Starting point is 00:03:33 Decent behavior. Do you understand what I'm saying? So now twitch is saying if it's artistic nudity if you're making art as long as it's not sexual which I have no idea where that line begins or it's not even defined that. But I guess that's kind of the point as they can't define that. That's right. And so they're... You know what? Good for them. Twitch is, you know, making a loophole that everyone's going to jump through now. But apparently this is a very popular thing and there is a young lady. And I don't remember her name and I don't want to throw it out there anyway. But there's a young lady on Twitch that is making millions of dollars a year
Starting point is 00:04:06 being a hot tub streamer. Good for her. So I am thinking that eventually when this podcast comes to some end, I'm going to be a hot tub streamer. Yeah. Or I'm gonna hire someone. You're gonna be a hot tub streamer.
Starting point is 00:04:19 Why don't you hot tub stream and then give some revenue to the commercial break? You can use the commercial break's name. I'll be like the commercial right? I'll be like, you can use the commercial breaks name. I'll be like Blair Saki. I'll be like, no hole, see only. I love that story. I love that story. Toes only.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Toes only. Toes only, no hole. What if I just say but only and I just, yeah, and I just bend over and the camera and I never show my face. I can put like one of those. But then no one's going to want to like, you know, send you money. Give you tips you're doing too much, but not enough action. You well, you have to like show the toes every so often too. I'm just wondering.
Starting point is 00:04:52 This is why you never made it on feet finder. I never even tried to make it on feet finder. You don't know how to monetize your feet. Well, no one wants my hairy feet on there. Actually, don't have hairy feet. I think we need to find my hairy feet. I hate hairy feet. Did you make any money?
Starting point is 00:05:03 I didn't make any of the account, but I never did anything. Do you know what got me to start that Fee Finder account? When I was drunk on a boat. Drunk on a boat. Yeah, I was drunk on a boat and we were all like, yeah, I should do Fee Finder. And then I made the account and then I never followed up when I got scared.
Starting point is 00:05:16 You're, what? Really? But now that I'm hired by the commercial break, yeah. What's the difference? People are gonna know you're attached to this for the rest of your life. You're just going to go on the guy that's happy with me. You can put a fake name on feed finder.
Starting point is 00:05:26 But someone can find your IP address. I mean, they can. But this is like a, as a future employer, really going to go through all that trouble to like docks your IP address. And I'll do to find out if you've ever been on a feed finder. That would be fucked up. If someone didn't hire you, but they would never tell you this is the trouble. It's like, someone could definitely not hire you because you were like on-feet finder or whatever it is that you were doing.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Yeah. But then they don't have to tell you why they can come up with some other arbitrary reason. And then you won't know that like your privacy is being violated or whatever. Yeah, or you just have a really creepy future employer that maybe you don't wanna be with anyway. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:01 Here's the thing, I think that employers are gonna have to get over this. HL departments are to have to get over this because there is an entire generation. Multiple generations. The world is different. There are hot tub streamers out there that maybe future Supreme Court justices. We do not know. That is a world I want to live in. Amen, dude. Get those stodgy old fuck notes off that fucking bench and let's get some fresh blood in there. Hot tub streamers is a good place to start. Yes, I'm with it. Seriously, let's get the hot tub streamers in Congress.
Starting point is 00:06:29 If some of these assholes, if George fucking Santos can be a goddamn member of Congress, then you can be on feed finder and find future employment. That's a good point. It is an absolutely and tell them that when the HR department calls to check on your IP address for your feed finder. I work in podcast. Yeah, I work in podcasting. I also smash bananas to make old men's will give them half hearts. I would smish smush bananas with my toes. Why not? What's the big deal? It's kind of fun. That's what everybody's into. That's what that's what is that what people are smashing is this thing? Is that what people are into? Smash the bananas with your toes.
Starting point is 00:07:05 I think what they want is they want you to smash their penis with your toes, but a banana is a good thing. I know, I've seen it. I have seen videos in research. A lot of the penis. Christina, there are people who get kicked in the nuts and they pay women to do it in high heels. This is a thing. This is a thing.
Starting point is 00:07:25 One time I had a lover text me, let me buy you a pair of boots, so you can step on me with them. You're fucking kidding me. No, I'm not. Did you do it? Well, we didn't end up working out. We lived in different states.
Starting point is 00:07:38 He did fly me across the country. So that was fun. If you flew across the country I'd get the boots, just so you could kick him in the balls because you had some fun. I actually would have loved to do that. We just got the thing we got distracted. We had a packed itinerary.
Starting point is 00:07:48 Oh, things to do. Smashing him in the balls with your brand new boots. It wasn't included. It didn't make it. It didn't make it. Obviously it wasn't high on his priority list, or he would have made it a thing. I think there were other things happening,
Starting point is 00:08:02 but we're better. I had a dominatrix tell me once that getting your balls smashed is like the, she said it was in her top 10 requests. She feel like that makes sense. Getting stepped on, getting like directly kicked in the nuts, like flasopenus that then would become hard.
Starting point is 00:08:17 You know, like weird shit. And I wonder, you know, I know there are like our sexual proclivities are probably from what I've read are probably formed very young in our formative ages. But who's getting kicked in the nuts and deciding they like that? I'm gonna tell you right now, ahead of a sec to me,
Starting point is 00:08:32 I feel like I've been getting kicked in the nuts for seven fucking straight days. And I wish it would just stop. It's like a two-thake, it never fucking stopped. But what if it was astrid? Kicking me in the nuts? Yeah, every day when you wake up. Just giving me one big kick in the nuts big kick When you're like thank you for being in my life
Starting point is 00:08:50 Thank you Astrid Thank you, man, I have another thank you mother of my children creator of world creator of world give me that good good. I think that good good The nuts first so I know I don't deserve it. Tree me like the, yeah, tree me like the weak piece of shit I am. I think this could work for you. You guys should try that.
Starting point is 00:09:16 There's a weird dynamic going on for sure. But yeah, I would definitely not going to report back. I was going to kill me. She killed me. But I'm wondering what, who, which dude got kicked in the nuts and decided that was a pleasurable experience. It's an awful fucking feeling. Pain and pleasure are very closely.
Starting point is 00:09:34 I agree. I agree. But this is like, just like it is, I imagine for women, it's a very sensitive area. And you go kicking it. It doesn't feel good. Like biting on the neck, nibbling around the ears, like even a slap once in a while, I get it.
Starting point is 00:09:49 You know, I get it. As if it's slapped me all the time. It's usually not having to do a sex, but she's asking me all the time. And my kids punched me in the balls all the time and hit me and kick me and listen, I get that pleasure and pain. There's like a super fine line. It's in the ethos, right?
Starting point is 00:10:02 It's like you're breaking the veil sometimes. However, that said, there's nothing in my mind pleasurable about kicking the balls, but there are so many people that are into that apparently that it's a thing. I just watched a video on Instagram a couple weeks ago, dude paid two dancers coming out of the strip club, two dancers, high heels, full nine yard. Yeah. He was standing outside the club. He had been in there and he's got $100 bills and he says $300 kick me in the nuts right now. And the chick's like, no, not doing it. Uh-uh, nope.
Starting point is 00:10:35 And he's like, I'll say to the camera, it's okay. And she's like, I don't wanna get in some fucking kind of trouble, I don't wanna kind of game your run. And he's like $500 kick me in the nuts right now. She's like, and then she's like, say in the camera, you're not gonna assume me for something. Send me, arrest me. And he's like $700, kick me in the nuts right now. I'll say it to the camera.
Starting point is 00:10:52 He gave her this chick $700, and she took a running start. He was like in front of his car, and she just was like, with her high heels, and the dude fell to the ground, and he was like, I love it, I love it so much. He loved it so much that the girl that came out with her was like, give me $300, I'll kick you in the nuts. And he gave her $500 and he got another kick in the nut and I'm like, holy fucking shit, this is a thing.
Starting point is 00:11:14 I can kick people in the nuts for $501. Yeah, I wanted to do that. I wanted that to be my new career path. Listen, it's all happening on Instagram and TikTok. I'm telling you what, there's a weird world out there. Get into it. And you'll make some extra cash. I'm sorry, I'm not into that, but I'm telling you what, there's a weird world out there. Get into it. And you'll make some extra cash. I'm sorry, I'm not into that, but I would pay you.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Speaking of weird trends, I have the 2023 porn ups searches. And everybody waits for this. It's like mainstream now. You know, they do this like, you know, AM radio in the morning. Oh, do they? Yeah, they do. I guess because porn is such a big part of our lives.
Starting point is 00:11:44 PornHub is YouTube. I don't listen to radio either. I just was reading that. Yeah. They were announcing this on May 3. That's pretty crazy. PornHub is YouTube for sex. And in so many ways,
Starting point is 00:11:56 PornHub has changed the sexual landscape of our lives in good ways and bad ways, right? But like everything, in good ways and in bad ways. You ready for this? Yes. Okay, now it's a long report. I don't wanna get into every single thing, but let's go over a couple important topics, I think.
Starting point is 00:12:12 The number one trend that defined 2023 is the golden age as the word mature searches grew by 77% and became the second most popular category among men led by mature kugar quote unquote, grannies, grammars. Do what in the fuck is going on out there in society? I want to hide my children. I want to hide my wife. Something's going on. Wait, that's awesome.
Starting point is 00:12:42 I don't know. Why not? Why shouldn't the old ladies be getting some action? I'm not saying the old ladies or the old men shouldn't be getting some action. But are like the young dudes looking at it? Like old grand. What's wrong with wanting a mature woman?
Starting point is 00:12:57 Hold on, I want to make the distinction between long and twisted. Like there's wrong. I don't think it's twisted. Well, come on. I guess maybe it's a little like mommy issue. Maybe that's really the trouble here is that it's giving mommy issues.
Starting point is 00:13:11 That's the thing that I'm thinking. It's like mommy issues, but not even mommy issues like old mommy, like grandma issues. But what was the search term? Mature Cougar. Okay, see that doesn't, to me, scream grandma. Well, milk is the second most search term worldwide while dill terms including muscle dill. Muscle dill. Muscle dill. Wow. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:13:33 hey, hot dad, you'd like to fun. Group by 71%. Granny. Big growth searches. Oh, and gilf searches collectively raised by 168% with sexy granny and hot gilf following right behind. Hilarious. Hilarious? Hilarious. Are you a little sexy granny? Sexy. Well, I'm just like, why?
Starting point is 00:13:59 That's what I want to know. Like, not the grannies are not sexy. Obviously, granny can be sexy. But like, actually, I met this woman today at the teachers' office who told me she had a daughter my age and had, that her daughter had three children. So she's a granny three times over? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:17 And she has kids with other children too. And so she's a grandma, I'm probably five times over. OK. And I was like, what the fuck? I said, whatever you have, I want it. Yeah. And she said, yeah, that's the thing. I want to say, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:14:30 And I was like, it's just good genes. I was like, you're stunning. It's there. I would've guessed 35. I've seen the, I've, listen, anybody can look good at any age. Well, yeah. But I was just shocked.
Starting point is 00:14:43 I get shocked sometimes too. I was like, you're a grandma. I know. Esther and I were, I forget where we were. We were watching something. And the lady that was on the TV said she was like 67 years old or something. And she was stunning.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Stunny. It's beautiful, right? Great skin, looked good. Fantastic. And she had a lovely personality from what I remember. I think we were watching something from what I remember. I don't think it's wrong that you look at Granny porn. I'm just wondering what's going on out there.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Yeah, well, why has it increased so much? Why has it increased so much? Are we passing around Granny porn now? As like a joke or is it really, we're getting off on it? Probably a little bit about. Anything so. I think we've passed it around as a joke
Starting point is 00:15:22 because we're getting off on it. We want our friends to think. Is there like a deep deep problem of like a deep problem of like baby boy baby man Yes, yes, I think this I think this is what's really going. Yeah But from what I read and I've been keeping on this for years Chrissy and I've been talking about it for years The younger generation, your generation, is having less sex than any other generation before them, like less sexual encounters.
Starting point is 00:15:51 For a lot of different reasons, probably the pandemic being one of them, right? But then just the fear, like you get pregnant in this country right now, holy fucking shit, you got zero options, right? You're fucked. You're fucked. Also, it's just that, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:04 sex can be a scary thing you got to meet somebody in person and a lot of people don't do that kind of meeting on a relationship level anymore they're just all online and you get of course I'd be nervous too right there's some real world things but like why the granny searches it proves so much there were no there was this lady on the stern show I think it was years ago. Her name was Blue Iris, and she was known as the Granny porn queen. This is long before Granny porn was a thing, right? This was the Claremont Lounge.
Starting point is 00:16:37 This was Claremont Lounge. This was, for those of you that know the Claremont Lounge, it's the world famous strip club here in Atlanta. There's probably every celebrity that's ever been has shown up. It's iconic. It is a literally a dive bar, a small thin sheet of cocaine covers everything that you see along with all kind of bodily fluids. Blood tears coming everything, right? It is a nasty, nasty dive bar and it is the best fucking place in the world. You go there late night because that's all they're open.
Starting point is 00:17:05 You walk in, you get cheap fucking beer, and then you have grannies that, not all of them, but some of them. Yeah, they're well known for their grandma strippers. That's right. The old saying was where strippers go to die, is the clear amount of lives. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:21 But they are so entertaining and so lovely. Fucking love them. And so wonderful that you can't help but be Impressed by what's going on in the book. It's the only strip club I ever want to go to well It's it's probably the strip club that I belong at But I love the Claremont lounge. Yes, Blue Irish is like one of those dancers, but she was doing the real porn with young men. Wow. And so do a little homework on Blue Iris,
Starting point is 00:17:50 and that's the kind of granny porn that I think about. But she is not the 67 year old woman that I saw on the television. She's not the, however old the woman was you met today. Yeah. She looks like a granny, like a typical grandmother. She's passed away now, but she looked like a typical grandmother. She's passed away now, but she looked like a typical grandmother. And I'm just wondering what's up with the guys.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Why are we doing this as a joke? We think this is funny, or are we just interested? Are we peaking our curiosity? Or is there some, something out there in the collective psyche that has made us start to think about grandmas in a more sexual way, not grandmas, but older, yeah, you know, older than you women that are, I don't know, I feel like I need to ask my guy friends and see, if any of you guys ever watched grandma porn, we please do and report back to me. I will. I want the reasoning. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:39 I don't know if any of them are really that adventurous, to be honest, really kind of vanilla. I'll ask some of them I like some of the younger folks that I know I'll say yeah, we'll ask around if you looked at granny porn just be honest with me If you look at granny porn or text us are you in a therapy session? I do have therapy on a weekly basis. All right. You ready? Yes. Number two Super size the overarching bullet point is here. The by line is super size. The terms big, bigger, biggest grew by 177%. Huge tits, huge cock, huge dildo. Huge, huge, not just big.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Cock and dildo. Not just like big tits. Yeah, huge tits. You know what I think this might, you know I'm just thinking about something. I think people, I think the world in general is like so polarized at extremes that I think we're getting to the extreme levels, right? So I want the biggest in general is like so polarized that extremes that I think we're getting
Starting point is 00:19:25 to the extreme levels. So I want the biggest cock you've ever seen to go in between the biggest tits I've ever seen and they're using the biggest dildo I've ever used. But when someone wants that in real life, it's just cumbersome. Of course not. Well, I mean, let's speak for yourself.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Uh, speak for yourself. But maybe the reason why granny porn is becoming so hot, it's because it's something extreme in and of itself. I like older ladies, let me go as old as I possibly can. Maybe it's just the thought. I don't know. Uniforms, excuse me, number three, sex machines, Android, the term Android in a porn search up by 1690%. ninety percent and what's from nothing from nothing yes android
Starting point is 00:20:09 and what is it phone and what is it phone porn or does that mean like robot porn you can't afford to know phone you're getting it i what is going on and right for it for it i want to see my phone get fucked that's what what I really want. Android cosplay, Android roleplay, robot, sex robot, 3D roleplay. You need that name like like Star Wars Android. Yeah, I'm thinking this is like yeah, because it's the year of AI and all you can make anything you want to. Yeah, I know. Put Arianaide. Android. Ariana Grande with Dolly Parkinson's Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Grandmont. Ariana androide. Grande. It's just like this guy with huge tits and a dick this big robot. And then Ariana Grande said that he's a robot.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Giant ponytail. Oh, man, I love it. Ariana Grande. Yeah. love it Ariana Grande. Yeah Grande Ariana Grande that's what I want show it to me part of You give it to me That's how the kids are gonna be doing it Show it to me Siri Grande area to Grande biggest things you ever seen show it to me
Starting point is 00:21:22 Sorry, I'm not able to make a phone call at this time. But you can ask me to place a FaceTime call. I will didn't do existence, I did. You're not in that way. I know, serious taking over. I can't say that name again, because now she's gonna pop up a little bit. All right, number four is for uniforms,
Starting point is 00:21:41 cop uniform, military uniform, soldier, gay soldier, uniform cosplay. Yeah, I don't want to mention that. Five is sexual healing. Okay, now we're getting somewhere, guys. Now we're getting somewhere. Therapy searches were up 344%. They're on porn site, so they want their therapist to put some.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Yes. Well, that's exactly what's going on. Therapy sex. It's also giving mommy issues. Foot therapy grew by 219%. Watch out for my feet find root issues. Foot therapy grew by 219%. Oh, watch out for my feet finder account. Foot therapy. There you go.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Massage therapist grew by 516. Yeah, I know, but that's the kind of thing I can understand. That I understand. Like I get it because I've seen it. Yeah. But you've seen it? I'm foreign, I've been a part of it. But like I as someone who like enjoys to getting a massage.
Starting point is 00:22:26 Yeah. I'm just like ew. Yeah, you know what it's gonna be? Quick, try to ruin the massage industry. I know, you know, I tell this story a long time ago, like I went to one of these Jack Shacks as I referenced to them as I went to a Jack Shack with a friend, it was really late night.
Starting point is 00:22:39 We're all fucked up. He had that he was like had this hankering to go to one of these places. It was a famous place down downtown Atlanta called like the, I don't know, 21 rooms or something. Like that was way back in the day. And so it was a huge building and they had 21 fantasy rooms. And it was literally like a brothel. You walked in.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Yeah, that's kind of fun. There were a bunch of ladies perusing around this small little bar, like a, like a teaky bar. And then you'd go up and you'd talk to the lady and if she was available, then you'd go to one of the rooms. Well, my friend went off to whatever bonded room. I can't even remember what he did, but I was so like not into it that I picked the only thing that I knew that I could probably get away with not having to physically interact. Right. The hot tub on the roof. So I go to the hot tub on the roof, everybody disrobes, and I have a very pleasant conversation
Starting point is 00:23:27 for like an hour with this young lady. And so afterwards, I say to my friend, I'm not gonna name her, I said, what happens? He's like, oh, I went into the bondage room but she ended up giving me a massage and I'm like, did you get off and he's like, no, it's just scared to. And I'm like, dude, you just paid $400
Starting point is 00:23:42 for both of us to walk in here and talk to somebody for him. He's like, hey, therapy, and I'm like, I'm like, what, you just paid $400 for both of us to walk in here and talk to somebody for him. He's like, hey, therapy. And I'm like, what? Exactly. You know those, like, it was the best night of those ladies' lives. They were like, thank God. But I also had like these guys are too thanked up to come anyway. I know. And we probably were. And, you know, but I had somebody who was in that business, a young lady tell me that 70% of the time, when she went to a client's house, they just wanted a chat. That's all they want to do.
Starting point is 00:24:10 They're lonely. And I think this is what porn hubs revealing is, is that there is an epidemic of loneliness going up there in the world. All right, so let's take our first break and then we'll get back to talking, you know, more stuff you probably had to turn off because your children run the car. We'll be back in a second. Look, I know you guys are getting really sick of me, but that is too bad. It's my job.
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Starting point is 00:25:03 And if you can't even be seen doing that, just listen to these sponsors and let's get back to the show. Hey everybody, want to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by Factor? Okay, do you want to know what the single biggest challenge for me as a single person was? Shopping for, prepping, and cooking, nutritious meals? Do you want to know what the biggest challenge for me as a human with 25 to 60 family members living in my house? Shopping for prepping and cooking a nutritious meal?
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Starting point is 00:26:32 That's code CommercialBreak50 at FactorMeals.com slash CommercialBreak50 and get 50% off. We also want to thank Factor for being a sponsor of the commercial break. All right, back here with Christina. Christina takes a few extra days off to be with family. You know what I didn't have on my bingo card for 2020-23? What? Kevin Costner and Jewel dating. Did you hear this? I did not.
Starting point is 00:27:02 You know Jewel the same? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Popular 90s singer, you know What song that is Oh, I actually don't think that's jewel. I see that will save your soul Maybe it is but jewel in Kevin Costner the very famous movie actor director television guy who's in Bodyguard he was in Bodyguard.
Starting point is 00:27:25 He was in Bodyguard. Our love Bodyguard. He was in one of my favorite movies of all times, Dances with Wolves. If you can get through three and a half hours of dancing with, well, Dances with Wolves. But I loved the movie. I really did.
Starting point is 00:27:36 My mom took me to see it when I was like, 12 years old, 11 years old, 12 years old. And I sat through the entire thing, Nizmerized. And I don't know why. I think Tautanka, have you ever seen the movie? No. Okay, it's about Buffalo or something. I don't know. But think to Tonka have you seen the movie? No, okay. It's a lot about Buffalo or something But it's really good. He was really good in that but he also did fucking shit house flops like water world and some other stuff
Starting point is 00:27:52 But kept him in your bag. Yeah, you do well He's making his bag because he was like an executive producer on that show Yellowstone Wow, so I think it was him and the creator kind of put this thing on TV and it only lasted for four or five seasons They ended it because there was some dispute about yeah, let's know yeah, let's know Yeah, I never watched it, but I heard great things about it. It was like the most popular television show Yeah, all five seasons that it was on it was like popular by two But Kevin Costner in jewel Kevin is 70 years old. I think jewel is 48 years old. I mean, that's not the age difference that matters, right?
Starting point is 00:28:25 But I don't know, Kevin Costner and jewel just don't seem to go together. I'm making some assumptions about Kevin's personality and some assumptions about jewel's personality. Of course. I met her one time when I worked in a radio business. She was lovely as she could be, saying a few songs for a couple of us in a small room.
Starting point is 00:28:42 She was super lovely. But I think of her as maybe like a super liberal type of person because of her music and where she came from and kind of the rough life that she had and the causes that she got behind in the 90s, and then I don't think of Kevin like that. Yeah, I know what I mean. It's just a weird parent.
Starting point is 00:29:00 It's a weird parent. It's a weird parent. Well, I don't know, for me, like 22 years is a bit much. Like, calm down. Yeah, so well, I mean, yeah, yeah. Okay, I think when you get to that age, like she's over 45, he's 70. I don't think they're getting married.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Well, that's the thing is that, for me, at that point, I'm thinking about, well, he's obviously dying first. Yeah, you want to be changing his diapers? Yeah, no, no. I mean, unless it's love, you know? The whole month, what the hell? The whole month, the whole month, the whole month,
Starting point is 00:29:29 the whole month, the whole month, the whole month, the whole month. But also, they met on Necker Island. Isn't Necker Island, I think that's the one that Richard Branson owns? Sure. When you own your own island, and you decide to name it Necker Island, Richard Branson owns sure when you own your own island
Starting point is 00:29:50 And you you decide to name it Necker Island. I don't know. It's too close for comfort to me Yeah, I don't like it. I made something else all together. You know what I'm saying? I don't like it either It's all a Branson Island. Yeah, Branson Island. That's the best thing You're right. How did they get electricity to that island? Do they have like their own power station there? Chris Tina and I were talking about this. I can't say I know. I can't say I understand how electricity works, you know? Tina and I had this whole conversation and I said I would want a private island
Starting point is 00:30:13 but only if there was infrastructure there because if you buy your private island and then there's no like running water or electricity, you gotta do all this stuff. But then again, like if you have them on you to buy a private island, I guess it's not that big of a deal to add infrastructure. Yeah, you get your own power station.
Starting point is 00:30:24 You probably, you're probably with big power. That's probably what's happening. You have relationships with big power and big water. That was a rat bastard. Those rat battered bastards keeping my iPhone charged all the time. My Tesla plugged in and these beautiful computer screens. Oh, man. Fuck big power. No more big power. No more big power. No more big power. Down with clean water. Down with clean water.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Down with clean. I don't support that either. Fuck clean water. Down with clean water. Down with clean water. Make it all that money with your clean water. Just get the clean water. Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:03 Just give it to everyone for free. Be nice. That's right. Taking get the clean water. Yeah. Just give it to everyone for free. Be nice. That's right. Taking my shit away from my house all the way to the sanitation station. Quit trying to make us pay for things that are basic human needs. Well, there's an argument to be made there for sure.
Starting point is 00:31:17 But, you know, I get it. This takes a little bit of money to make this. I don't care. They're rich. Give it to us for free. Yeah, I think the water companies are, are the big power, we can talk about that. But the water companies, I think are just like municipal,
Starting point is 00:31:31 so that's big. Yeah, I find with the water companies. Yeah, I wish I could just pay my tax. I'm not fine with the power. Big power. Big power. Stop burning all that cold and make my iPhone turn on. I do agree with that.
Starting point is 00:31:43 With the shit they mind to get the iPhone. Oh, yeah, I know. That's just terrible. It's all so bad. I know, it's so bad. The world is grumbling. Yes, it is. But hey, listen, we're having fun here at the commercial break. So as the end of days comes closer,
Starting point is 00:31:57 just know that you can tune into the commercial day, bake nine days a week. Dicum, d bake. Definitely that dirt. David, David, dude, dude. Turn under the commercial bake. You know, I'm having trouble sometimes with my tongue and I figured out why. It's because I'm talking baby talk all day long.
Starting point is 00:32:14 And I think that it's all that like loose, you know, loose tongue like that, that's easy. That's that pee pee poop. Pee pee poop. It starts getting mixed up in my head. Children will do a number on your head. I've. Yeah. Children will do a number on your head. I've learned this. They will do a number on your head.
Starting point is 00:32:27 I don't want that. No, okay. Well, I'm not arguing with you. You don't want it, then don't have it. If you don't want it, it's probably best. It's scary. It's so scary. It's very, listen.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Like, like, pregnancy, children, they just mess with you, man. They do, but. Mess with you. I will say, there is something beautiful on the end of the risk, right? There is that, I mean, people have been doing it, but it's like that chemical in your brain
Starting point is 00:32:52 makes you forget everything bad about pregnancy. It makes you forget everything bad about birth. Like, Astrid and I had a bad birthing experience with one of our children, but she barely remembers what happened while me and her mother, who was in the room for part of it, are no joke. Traumatized. PTSD.
Starting point is 00:33:12 Yeah. No joke. I like, I went to therapy for it, because every time I thought about it, I started crying and breaking down, because it was just such a terrible experience. But it's terrifying. According to Astrid, everything was fine.
Starting point is 00:33:25 And I'm like, no, no. It's worse. It's definitely, it was not fine. Look at our fabulous children. Oh, everything turned out wonderful. I don't even remember. You're being over dramatic. It's over dramatic.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Did he? So, you don't want children? Don't have them. But according to me, unfortunately, the government may see it. I'm gonna do what I want. I think that's a good thing. And just hope you live in a state where you can do what you want.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Just remember that. You brought to my attention, Christina Carpenter. No, I know, I'm just joking with you. I'm just seeing it. I was like, damn, Brian. It's Sabrina Carpenter. Yes. World-famous musician, and that's all I know about her.
Starting point is 00:34:06 She's a philicist. So, here's the thing. Okay. I want to talk to you about my favorite genre of music, which is what I like to call slutty Christmas. Slutty Christmas. Slutty Christmas is my favorite genre. Baby, it's cold outside.
Starting point is 00:34:21 That's pervy Christmas. Those are different genres. Let me put a roofie in your dream. Pervy Christmas. Those are different genres. Let me put a roof in your dream. Pervy Christmas. So slutty Christmas, which I honestly, I don't know where slutty Christmas began, probably at the start of times. So, um, Mariah Carey. Yeah, I feel like even before that. I don't know. There's probably some slutty Christmas songs from back in the day. I think the roundettes were hot. That's all I got to say. I don't know who that is, but I believe. They sang Christmas songs, you know.
Starting point is 00:34:46 But they didn't sing like slutty Christmas songs, but they were, they were like slutty for the time though. Not them, the songs. Yeah, they're like dressed up in their little, you know, this is called the love dance. But like, slutty Christmas is a genre. It's a bad bitch genre. Love it.
Starting point is 00:35:00 So, I mean, for me, the number one, like, purveyor of the genre has always been Ariana Grande. Ariana Grande. Ariana Grande. Ariana Grande. Ariana Grande. Yeah, so I'll take an L Grande. Ariana Grande.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Androids first. Because she came out with this album called Christmas and Chill, which obviously, Netflix and Chill. You got it? You get the reference. I do. We're slitting it up this Christmas. I love it.
Starting point is 00:35:23 And there's this one song called, like, Whittit this Christmas. And I I a shit you not the lyrics are are you down for some of these milk and cookies? Whoa, yeah, wow I fucking love it. It's like be my drummer boy and I'm the only drum that you're gonna play And I'm a shit. I know slutty Christmas. I fucking love it. So Sabrina Carpenter Whips out a little Crimbo album. Okay. Crimbo. Crimbo. And I am so here for it. So there's this, so her song, my number one Spotify rap song this year was Nonsense
Starting point is 00:35:54 by Sabrina Carpenter. Okay. Which is like, the premise is kind of like, looking at you got me thinking nonsense, so I just want to fuck. Basically, like, I'm so into you. Wow. So, yeah, I love it. I didn't even know there was slutty Christmas was a genre, like, I'm so into you. Wow. So, yeah, I love it. I didn't even know there was slutty Christmas
Starting point is 00:36:07 was a genre, but now I'm totally into it. It is for me. I'm gonna play at Christmas Eve with all the kids gathered around the Christmas table. I get on this North Pole. Every year, I typically have a disco Christmas party, which is essentially code for slutty Christmas. So I play all my slutty Christmas songs and disco
Starting point is 00:36:25 and everyone has to dress disco. It's great. I love it. It's a really good time. And when do you put this disco Christmas on? It's typically around this time. Okay. Around this time.
Starting point is 00:36:34 I'm actually not doing it this year. Why? It was too much work last year. Okay. I love it. It was too much work. And I was like, maybe it doesn't have any inner this year. Okay.
Starting point is 00:36:45 So now Sabrina has come out with a nonsense Christmas, which is the first song on Fruitcake, her Christmas album. I have it. And let's listen to it. We're gonna break down the lyrics because I've only heard like one line of the song and I'm already partly disturbed,
Starting point is 00:37:05 and then partly enjoying myself way too much. I'm really excited. I think it's a great song. Great lyrics. Great lyrics. Nonsense by Sabrina Carpenter. It says you're almost there. Let's start at the beginning here.
Starting point is 00:37:17 It's the holiday remix. Oh, I think I only want you under my muscle toe. I'm change your contact to has a huge North Pole. Yeah. Honestly, that's relatable content. Thank you, Sabrina. No, it's for Astrid, but you know, I know. No, she's not going to get huge hurt, Paul. No, she's not gonna get huge hurtful. No, she's more like, I'm gonna put it as, has a okay candy cave.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Skinny. Skinny candy cave, another big curve. To the left. That's right, the small ones you get at the bank. You know what I'm saying? That's the sad one, yeah. For three months after Christmas, they're sitting at the bank. First of all, second of all, when I was a kid, you have to have a decoder ring to figure out
Starting point is 00:38:06 when Nirvana or Pearl Jammer Sound Garden was saying, Nope, not with that whispering, a change of color. Right at it. That is, that is right on the face right there. He says you like my stockings better on the floor. Oh, I've been a bad girl, I guess I'm getting cold now. I'm getting cold That's it's going on. I you were not kidding. Okay, let me repeat those ears I yeah, you said I you said you like my stockings better on the floor hilarious boy. I've been a bad girl
Starting point is 00:38:42 I guess I'm getting cold. Let me come warm you up. You've been out in the snow. Baby, my tongue goes numb. Sounds like, oh, oh, oh, oh. This is great. I love it. It's like Weird Al Yankovitch. I will say she also has a different song
Starting point is 00:38:58 that literally like the first, one of the first like three lyrics is like, I can't say good. It's like like you try all the ho ho ho's and put me on top or something and i'm like oh go off girl oh ho ho ho ho ho me on top three two It's all three, it's a little camera that roll, it's about you and me. Let me down. I'm always list, looking at you got me thinking Christmas. So fixin' my stomach on my kiss, just do you. And when you come and down into me, I'll always feel so good. And I need those tickets. Ah!
Starting point is 00:39:42 Yeah, we need that child's dickiness. We need those kids. We need those kids. Take me to hot stuff as such. I mean, how do you make this, like Christmas Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I need that Charles Dickens. This is great good for her. I am dying every time I listen to this. Okay, let's go through a little bit more because I think I'm reading ahead I think it's fun. There's so many good lines. I know I'm talking Chris I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking
Starting point is 00:40:34 I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking I'm talking Even though in my soul, in my tongue those love, sounds like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I'm sure. I mean, there's no actual like, explicit words. Well, it's a little crazy, but I mean, it's all in UNDO. Yeah, and it's also, I feel like it's deeply funny.
Starting point is 00:41:12 It's hilarious. Like, it's so clever. It's a Christmas sex song. Yeah. It's a Christmas sex song. She's a sexy Christmas. Yeah, she's begging for that big dick. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:22 She's begging for that Charles dick. We need that Charles dick in. She's begging for that spike dick. Yeah, she's begging for that Charles dick. We need that Charles dick. She's begging for that spike I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm reading a hood. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Look at all those presents. That's a big sack. With a package just to be the gift wrap Work up this morning thought I'd ride a Chris mash How quickly can you build a snowman think? Oh my god I mean doesn't slutty Christmas just warm your heart. I gotta be honest with you. It's like it's a good jingle It's got a good tune. It's got a great beat and the lyrics lyrics are fucking hilarious. They're so good. I'm talking cherry nuts.
Starting point is 00:42:48 Oh my God, good for this. Good for Sabrina. I love her. She really, she's doing it. She's doing it. My new favorite genre too. When she sings nonsense normally, she normally ends it with like an ad lib
Starting point is 00:43:00 for whatever city she's in. Okay. And actually she did, whenever she did a show like for the BBC, she actually got in trouble because it was too dirty. Oh, really? Yeah. So she said something like, the BBC has a search term, like porn.
Starting point is 00:43:18 So she essentially made a quip at the end that was related to that. And that was too dirty. And so the BBC took it off the air, took it off YouTube and all that stuff. Yeah, you can't offend me, Queen. But it's her thing, every city she goes to she'll come up with the ending line, how quickly can you build a snowman? That thing, she'll take that and switch it up,
Starting point is 00:43:42 depending on... And it's always sexual, but... Because none of it's like a big song. Okay, depending on, and it's always like sexual, but like, because none of it's like a big song. Okay, now listen, this is where I've seen this. I've seen this. Oh, like on Instagram? Not on Instagram, yes. I've seen her switch the lyrics and a bunch of them.
Starting point is 00:43:55 That's how this song sounds familiar now. Yeah. Now I know, this girl's also opening up for Taylor Swift at all of her South American and European tour stops, which is like amazing. I mean, great work. Yeah, we saw them and they were, oh, who was opening, I forgot who was opening up
Starting point is 00:44:12 for Taylor when we went on the salt Taylor, but I'm telling you what, this is my new favorite Christmas song and I'm gonna play it for the kids and I'm gonna wonder, do you even know, you couldn't possibly know, they probably do know because at age, you know, two now, they're learning about sex. The thing is they won't be having it
Starting point is 00:44:28 by the time that they grow up. It'll be all out of style. So, you know, I was talking about that Christmas and Chill album from Ariana Grande. So she actually recently released one of her other Christmas songs. She did a re-release and it's Santa Tell Me, which you've probably heard. I've heard it. And now it is Santa Tell Me, which you've probably heard. I've heard it. Yep.
Starting point is 00:44:45 And now it is Santa Tell Me per indices, naughty version. Oh. But I was very disappointed. It wasn't that naughty. After knowing Sabrina Carpenter's work. Yeah. After knowing about the big balls and this charge ticket. Yes, that's a big sack.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Boy, that package is too big to gift back. Uh. I was very disappointed. It's a big sack. Boy, that package is too big to gift back. I was very disappointed. It's like she only changed one little section where it's like, get on top of him by the fireplace or whatever, and I'm like, girl, no, we were picturing that anyway. Anyone who was already there,
Starting point is 00:45:20 that's not, you can't call this the naughty version and only change one verse. Okay, but hear me out. There's a difference between being known for your dirty verse, right? I feel like Ariana's known for her dirty verse too. Yeah. She puts out like some slid-song.
Starting point is 00:45:34 She really, I mean, I got it. Break up with your girlfriend. Yeah. I'm bored. She, that's slid-y in you window, right? This is like more on- Is that an in-do-in-you-wendo? Break up with your girlfriend on board.
Starting point is 00:45:45 Yes. It's indy window. It's not break up with your girlfriend I want to fuck your dick. That's not what it is. You know what I'm saying? That's not a screener, the carpenter either. Yeah, but I mean, when you're talking about balls,
Starting point is 00:45:55 Charles Dickens and her kids. I need that Charles Dickens. Yeah. She just wants to hear a Christmas Carol. Okay. Orion. Okay. Get it together, old white man.
Starting point is 00:46:05 That's a big sack of presents. That is funny. And here's what I have to say. I love it. I'm into it. I like it. I actually think it's interesting. I love slutty grits.
Starting point is 00:46:15 Listen, one of my favorite things in the world, you will not relate to this, but one of my favorite things in the world, maybe one of my favorite things in the world was when weird Al Yankovik put out new music. Now he was not slutty, but his music was good and it also was funny, right? And so good and funny music to me, it's great.
Starting point is 00:46:34 And this is like, this is perfect. I love it. You both put up a whole new world for me. I've seen the Instagram videos, but I've never heard the whole song. I've just seen the part where she switches out the lyric. Oh, now he's only heard the Christmas version. Look at that, the young kids come in and you learn something. Now, you've only heard the Christmas version. Look at that.
Starting point is 00:46:45 The young kids come in and you learn something. See, two old people sit here and we just forget everything. We're like, who said that? What's happened? Who did that? I'm sitting there, everything like, dammit, Brian. Yeah, I know. Chrissy, it puts the corrections in the show notes.
Starting point is 00:46:56 You're an idiot, Brian. That's right. It'd be nice. I didn't know. All right, let's take our second break and we'll be back with more. OK, Brian. Shh. Let me give the people what they want. Our social media handles. Follow us on Instagram at the Commercial Break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. If like all my hinge dates, you are thirsty for more. Give us a call and leave us a message at 626-ASK-TCB3.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Or send us a text, no sexting please, at 855-TCB-8383. And of course, go to tcbpodcast.com to see everything there is to see. Now let's hear from our sponsors and then, the show is going. Alright, back with more. Hey, I wanted to get your take. Did you see the droop? What? I want to get your take. Yeah, I hate it. I don't know. I'd like live editing the show. Like, now we're doing the show live editing. So I fire off the commercials and stuff. Like that, which is something I should have thought about three and a half fucking years ago.
Starting point is 00:48:02 I don't know why I didn't. I should think hours of editing and just wasted life. Well, wasted life, almost of bankruptcy, almost divorce. I could have the entire time been saving myself at least an hour, just live editing. It got me out of it, so you know. I know, that's good. You're not going anywhere. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:19 So, but I still feel I'm still trying to feel out how to come back and go to the breaks, you know, we're all learning together. There's only 6,000 episodes of this damn show. And 3,000, 38,000 more to go. So there you go. I wanted to note if you had seen or heard about the Oprah Winfrey Drew Barrymore interview, because I had talked to Tina about this right after it happened, but now I'm seeing
Starting point is 00:48:47 like more and more comments and clips. I have seen the whole thing, but I have seen clips of it of very, very, very, very, fucking weird. Weird. All the clips I've seen are like a true Barrymore, like all up, basically sitting in Oprah's lap, like stroking her arm and everyone's like drunk girls in the bathroom. I'm like's like drunk girls in the bathroom.
Starting point is 00:49:06 I'm like, yes. The late of all. And it's like you're the best friend that ever had. She is, I think she's trying way too hard. Being weird. I agree. But I don't, it's like giving that she's really trying to be vulnerable.
Starting point is 00:49:22 Yeah. But it's trying too hard. I think it comes across as very needy. It just comes across as strange. How are you doing this? This is like what you do when you're absolutely shmacked with your girlfriend. When you're on ecstasy kind of shmacked, you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:49:36 You're like, I just want to like... I just love you. I love the way your skin feels. You're so beautiful. You've always been so beautiful. Yeah, that was weird. Oh, my friends are girls. I know this I know this whole hand holding thing I've been you know, I've been in a few girls
Starting point is 00:49:49 Lesbian. Oh, I'm a lesbian. All right. I just wish they love me back but I Looked I watched the interview and I thought to myself how uncomfortable for Oprah must this be. First of all, she's probably not used to getting touched by anybody except for Stedman because her security won't allow it. But second of all, there's nothing Oprah can do but sit there and be the Oprah that we all know love,
Starting point is 00:50:18 which is she will not be rattled by this. But you can tell, like you just watch her eyes, you can tell she's a little bit rattled by this. It was weird. It was weird. I wonder what was going through Drew's mind. You know, after the Jada. She's had like a weird few months.
Starting point is 00:50:35 Jada Pinkett Smith. Well, first of all, she wanted to break the sag after a picket line, which I thought was pretty shitty. That was so bad. It was just stupid. It was just dumb thing. Like I get it, you want to feed the families. Yeah, you want to feed the families of the people
Starting point is 00:50:48 who do want to come back to work, but then there's tens of thousands of people that are relying on every single person not so that they can have, like that's the strength and negotiation. We're never going back to work until you sit down at the table and we negotiate this out. So it was a dumb move. She pulled back really quickly.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Then she has this Jada Pinkett Smith interview, which is very similar in nature. She's sitting on the couch super close. They're like grabbing each other and they're talking about coming out of their mother's vagina. And it's just like a weird... The Jada Pinkett Smith stuff in general is like, girl, this is a story, no one.
Starting point is 00:51:19 None of us want to hear anymore. Please, someone stop her. You put it in your book to call attention to it, and then you run around. All she wants to do is fucking talk, and we're like, please no. No one wants to hear about your relationship anymore. Go back to your reticle.
Starting point is 00:51:34 It's so weird. Yeah, I agree. It's a concerning relationship. Every time you go on one of these talk shows, all you're doing is further yanking Will Smith balls, who has not had a particularly great three years. If we all got to be honest, it's just strange. It's strange.
Starting point is 00:51:52 I do not understand her motivations. It feels so weird. Like it, I don't know. It's just super weird for me. I think I understand, I appreciate what they are going through. Like the marriage is tough. It's a long haul. When you have kids, it throws in a whole nother thing.
Starting point is 00:52:09 And I watched this Instagram video, and I thought this guy was telling a story about what his grandfather said. And it is what his grandmother said about his grandfather. It is the most amazing way that I've ever heard marriage described. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:52:23 It's grandmother said, and the guy's retelling the story, my grandmother used to say, I've been married to 51 different men. Okay. And the, and no, you have been married to grandpa. Exactly. He's been 51 different men since I've met him, and he'll say the same thing about me.
Starting point is 00:52:40 Everybody changes, grows, moves on, people, they don't stay the same. And she's like, you know, I'm on my 51st version of your grandfather. So I get that, that, I get like wanting to tell people that marriage is tough. It takes different forms. You can go through different things. You don't have to be together all the time. You can sleep in different beds. You can have different arrangements. I understand that. I'm down with 100 percent. Whatever makes you happy, whatever's cool in your own bedroom. But you, you wrote it in the book. We got it. it. 100% whatever makes you happy, whatever's cool in your own bedroom.
Starting point is 00:53:05 But you wrote it in the book. We got it. Now you don't have to go and double explain yourself. You put it in the book for a reason now. Yes, stop. Now, stop. And this one, it almost feels like invasive of us. It is like, we do not belong this much inside of your relationship.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Like, you have to keep some things private. Please, for the love of God, stop telling the public about your relationship. Please. You cheated on Will. We don't bring her into your fucking reticle. And my God, it's all she can talk about it. And fucking talk about it is how much fucking
Starting point is 00:53:36 she loves Tupac. And it's like, please stop. I know. You're just slapping Will in the face in front of us. Every time. That was not intentional. Me saying slapping him on the fire Pun intended no pun intended, but like it at this point it's like this is embarrassing for everyone involved I totally were her him their family. It's like
Starting point is 00:53:58 That's the other thing too is that I agree with you like will is getting Amasculated at every single turn and listen, while I do not ever condone violence under any circumstance unless you're defending yourself or your family, what he did to Chris Rock was terrible. That was a wild. And he should never be allowed back in the academy. He deserves all kinds of repercussions because of that. But that's for other people to decide because it's not, I'm just a viewer at home.
Starting point is 00:54:24 However, you start to wonder if Will is kind of losing it because his wife just keeps on talking about who she wants to sleep with instead of her husband. But like, they've been separated. It's like, it's just like, why would he get so upset in the first place if they technically weren't even together and hadn't been together for a while at that point? And it's just like, why are you guys bringing this up all the time? Honestly, if you'd stop fucking talking about it,
Starting point is 00:54:49 Jada, we probably wouldn't care. We wouldn't. Like, I just, I don't know. I'm just like, please. But you know, Drew's sitting there smothering her during this interview and she's spouting off more of the same stuff that we're hearing. And by the way, Jada Pinkett Smith has all the right
Starting point is 00:55:04 in the world to say whatever she wants to say. I'm not telling anybody to shut up. I am. I just don't want to hear it any more. But I watched that interview on the backs of the Oprah interview because I saw that both of these interviews have the same pattern. Drew is obviously a little bit star struck.
Starting point is 00:55:20 She wants it to go well. She wants people to open up. She desperately wants this to be the place where people come and be vulnerable and get the interview of the lifetime. She wants to be Oprah. That's what she wants to be. So she meets the queen and she grabs the queen's hand and she does not fucking let go.
Starting point is 00:55:35 And she strokes her arm, which like for me, I don't know, I think a lot of people of my generation we tend to talk about things like sensory issues, and stuff like that. And for me, stroking of an arm is something that gives me the fucking HBGB. It's like, I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:54 It's just a sensory thing. I really don't know. I hate if someone puts their armor on me and rubs their thumb, I am like, fucking stop touching me. Really? Yeah, I don't know. I just hate it. I hate what it's saying. You don't know. It like, I just hate it.
Starting point is 00:56:05 I hate it. You don't feel it as a, I mean, obviously get a strange person. I know that the intention behind it is totally fine, but I remember finding that out when I was like 17, 18. And like, I guess it's never really been a thing within my family. Maybe it's just people outside of my family.
Starting point is 00:56:21 I don't know. But like, I've noticed with with partners or just people in general, I don't like, you can put your arms around me, but don't then rub your arms. You don't like the extra stroking. Yeah, I don't like it. You want a solid touch, not something to move. I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:56:38 It's disgusting for me. That is so interesting. So watching her hold her hand and hold her arm hostage like that and stroke her arm like that had me cringing, so hard I'm actually cringing just thinking about that. Wow. It's to me that felt so invasive, I don't know, I hated it.
Starting point is 00:56:59 You know a lot of people that are younger than I am have explained to me that they have sensory issues of some kind. Certain types of music, loud noises, feeling a certain, like a certain touching, a certain way. And I wonder, like, yeah, okay, cool. I just wonder why. Why does it come from?
Starting point is 00:57:19 Why? What is it? I don't know. You know what I can't do? I can't put cloth in my mouth. Watching somebody, my child, put take their shirt and put it in their mouth, I'm thinking about it right now.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Excuse me, chill. That's interesting. That's like, to me, that's a sensory thing. I used to like that as a kid. Oh, I think every kid did, putting their, you know. I used to like, putting like a washcloth or something in my mouth. He's good.
Starting point is 00:57:43 I tell my kids to stop it and then I realize, I don't wanna throw my anxieties on you. So you do what everyone, I'm gonna turn my head. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, you're disgusting little thing. I just remember being so grossed out when a boyfriend did that to me once. And I was like, I was like, please,
Starting point is 00:57:58 I was like, don't rub my arm like that. I was like, I just don't like it. Like I really don't like it. Hey, fair enough. I mean, if you don't like something, you don't like something. I think God Oprah Probably doesn't emphasize that's activity because Drew really did give her arm a hand job and by the way She got an arm job, but by the way love Drew. I mean, I think yeah, and she's having a Renaissance and that's great I think that's wonderful. No, I like Drew Barrymore, but I did I don't like the format these interviews are taking no
Starting point is 00:58:23 I think she's got it back off a little bit. You know what's weird? She has Corey Hamon, right? Which we review. And they're sitting on opposite sides of the stage. Yeah. And then only for certain interviews, does she come into the couch?
Starting point is 00:58:34 Yeah, it just feels like a broach of boundaries. Like I wonder if beforehand she discusses their positioning with them? With Oprah for sure. With Oprah for sure. Oprah's security wants to know where she's sitting. Yeah, it just, it had a weird vibe, that interview. It did. for sure. With Oprah for sure. Oprah security wants to know where she's sitting. Why would it, it just, it had a weird vibe, that interview for sure.
Starting point is 00:58:48 For one I saw, obviously I didn't watch the whole thing. So, I don't know. And I'm sure had Oprah been that bothered by it, she probably would have said something. She probably would have said something. Also like in front of an audience. Yeah, you don't want to be a bitch. Yeah, and you don't want to come off as I think,
Starting point is 00:59:03 I'm better than you, I need to step away. It's true, it's true. But I do like Drew and I'm rooting for Drew, but I think these interviews, like Oprah, you used to have a couch too. And you know what, Oprah sat on one side of the couch and the person sat on the other side of the couch and they had a discussion.
Starting point is 00:59:19 So I know you have like this show is kind of an homage to Oprah Per Drew. I think you just need to like back off a little bit, but maybe that'll come with maturity and finding a way on style. I know this. I thought it was better early on when it was more like lighthearted.
Starting point is 00:59:34 The kind of intense stuff is not really for me. No, well, but daytime television has always been like this, right? That's true. That's true. There has been goofiness and seriousness on all sides of the aisle. Like through the 90s, you had, you know,
Starting point is 00:59:47 Jenny Jones, who sometimes would take on a more serious take, you had Oprah, who sometimes would take on a more serious take, then you would have Mori Povish and Ricky Lake, who would definitely not be taking anything seriously. Love watching Mori Springer. Shari Springer. Yeah, oh, Mori's the worst. Oh, I'm sorry, I loved it.
Starting point is 01:00:03 It's the worst. They were not the fault. You know love that. It's the one. You are not the father. You know, I say he's the worst and then I have always wanted to do that on this show. Like show those results to somebody. It would be fun. But finding two, three consenting adults that that conversation without getting into a fist fight here in the studio might be, I don't know, might be challenging, might not.
Starting point is 01:00:22 He seemed to be doing okay. Is he still on? I don't know. If Mori had that made that. I don't, who has cable? Actually I guess he wasn't on cable, was he? No, he was on like CBS or something. Who has TV?
Starting point is 01:00:31 No, I do. I mean, I've got some streaming channels and my dad pays for. I got YouTube TV and I got that direct TV, but it's the app. Wow, bougie. It's the app. So I don't have the fancy hook it up to the back of your thing. Yeah, it's the app. Wow, bougie. It's the app. So I don't have the fancy hook it up to the back of your thing.
Starting point is 01:00:46 Yeah, it's the app. Either way, I do like my cable stations. Amazing. I only watch three of them and I pay for 300 of them. So whatever. And that's the problem with cable. Yeah. It means that you got to pay for so much stuff you don't want.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Right? I live exclusively off of peacock and my bravo shows. Ah, your bravo shows. Yeah, you know it. I was watching, yeah, below shows. Yeah, you know it. I was watching, yeah, below deck. We'll get into that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:09 You'll be back here tomorrow. Yeah, and so we'll get into peacock, because I want to talk about that below deck. Okay. Chris needs a big fan of that also, but I'm reading about some really serious drama, and I want to know your thoughts. Oh, from Down Under. From Down Under. Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 01:01:22 All right. Okay, listen, thanks so much for showing up today. I really appreciate it. You and your Charles Dickens and your big snowballs. Thanks for having me. And your granny Poles Dickens. And your granny Poles. And I wish you the best on taking that foot and slapping somebody in the penis.
Starting point is 01:01:36 Thank you. And making some money on it. I will. Yeah. Penis slapping with your foot. That's what we're going to call it. Foot slapping. Find me on Feedfinder.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Feedfinder. I'll put a link in the show notes. Alright, tcmepodcast.com. That's where you go. You find out more about the show, all the audio, all the video right there from one location, delicately handled and edited by our good friend Christina here. Naturally. Naturally. You can also get your free piggy-fronting sticker.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Go hit the contact us button. Send us your physical address. We will send off a sticker if you want us to sign it or something. Put that in the notes. And we will do it for you. Thank you for your time, friends! Thank you for watching! I hope you enjoyed this video! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel!
Starting point is 01:02:16 And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! And if you did, please subscribe to my channel! concerns, whatever, send it our way. We'll ignore the concerns and we'll take the content ideas. Also, Ask Brian's mom, mom will be back in season number five. We've got a couple great questions from mom by the way. We have to wait to have her back. We'll have her back after the holidays. So send those all. You can also leave us a voicemail at that same number. But if you leave a voicemail, we may use your voice. So please don't say anything that you may not want out there in the world
Starting point is 01:02:46 Okay, add the commercial break on Instagram tcb podcast on tiktok and youtube.com Slash the commercial break. I want to tell you thank you very much for listening throughout the year We're super excited about season number five. I hope you have a fantastic holiday season New episodes all through so don't worry, you'll still get fresh up. If you are listening to us during your Christmas break, you're an idiot. Turn it off, come back to us after that. Alright, Christina, I think that's all I can, my balls can do today.
Starting point is 01:03:16 God yeah. Yeah, but best of you. Best of you. And best of you out there in the podcast universe until next time. Christina and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye. I take a dick and a keep on liggin' you

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