The Commercial Break - The 555 Rule

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

Episode #603: Blue’s got bowel problems, men are lonely, and Bryan’s going tanning. So, not much has changed here at The Commercial Break. Bryan still goes to the tanning bed The Donald Trump Tan Package Anything is content: Blue’s Bowels Daniel knows Bryan has his weaknesses The Testosterone Shed Blue’s ‘betes Blue got personal The 666 rule Professor G? The male loneliness epidemic Meet people through friends! Instagram’s parental controls Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kick off an exciting football season with BetMGM, an official sportsbook partner of the National Football League. Yard after yard, down after down, the sportsbook born in Vegas gives you the chance to take action to the end zone and celebrate every highlight real play. And as an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, BetMGM is the best place to fuel your football fandom on every game day. With a variety of exciting features, BetMGM offers plenty of seamless ways to jump straight into the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action. Ready for another season of gridiron glory? What are you waiting for? Get off the bitch, into the huddle, and head for the end zone all season long. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older. Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem? For free assistance call the Connects Ontario Helpline at 1-866-531-2600.

BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Get ready for Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM, the king of online casinos. Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous for when you play the classics. Like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat and Roulette. With our ever-growing library of digital slot games, a large selection of online table games, and signature BetMGM service, there is no better way to bring the excitement and ambiance of Las Vegas home to you than with BetMGM Casino. Download the BetMGM Casino app today.

BetMGM and GameSense remind you to please play responsibly. BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. That MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Cause I hear the thousand hogs, from ten thousand lightning bugs,

As they try to teach me how to dance. A fox tromp above my head, a sock hop beneath my foot, A disco ball is just hanging by a thread. I like to make myself believe. On this episode of the Commercial Break. I'm in the five five five category. I'm five-ish something foot tall. I have five extra pounds on each love handle and I have a 500 credit score.

So if you're looking for that dial me up. You know my number, you got me. Astrid's looking for 555. She might be looking for 554 pretty soon. But anyway, you get it. That's for my tanning bed credit incident. The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Hey you! Oh yeah cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green.

This is my dear friend and the co-host of this incredibly mediocre podcast, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us. What another lovely day here in the studio We're having here. I don't know because it's all blackout curtains, but I imagine it's a beautiful day Yeah Tell me all about it Chrissy break me free from my

Shackles from the shackles that chain me to this dumb podcast all the time The sun is shining that the weather's cooler a little bit. Oh it sounds so nice. It sounds so delicious. Unfortunately I'm sneezing like crazy. To have a taste of sun on my face. This is all manufactured sun. I was gonna say you look tanned. So I go to the tanning bed. Cause you know I wanna look good. I knew it. I know everybody knows it.

Who doesn't know it? I'm taking on this show 24 hours a day. Every third day I'm gonna go to the tanning bed. I don't go that often. But like when I'm going on vacation or an event, just like you getting your hair done or your makeup done or whatever, it makes me feel a little better.

But it's a pep in my step for reasons that at this point will go undisclosed. You know, I'm not, I need a little boost, a little vitamin D boost. Yeah, a little zhuzh. So I go into, I stopped going to the tanning bed the very beginning of this year. And then I went in one time and like, I think it was February, I went in one, so I stopped going January 1st. And then in February, I decided I'm going to go do one little sprit, I think it was February, I went in one, so I stopped going January 1st. And then in February, I decided I'm gonna go do one,

little spritz up, because it's the middle of winter and I'm feeling a little shitty. I got those, what is that called? The mad disease or the sad disease? Sad, yeah. The seasonal affective disorder? Yes. I got that sad.

It probably has to do with the incredible weight of debt on my shoulders from this dumb show. But I decided I'm going to go in February. And when I go, there's like, this is a multiple tanning bed type of situation. It's a franchise, but they're all connected. So you can go to anyone, you know, I think in the state, you can go to anyone in the state, maybe anywhere in the country. I don't know. I don't go tanning outside of my own state. That's good to know. Unless I live in Switzerland with Astrid and I swear to God I was trying to find a tanning

bed. And they had one with one tanning bed, a stand-up from like 1982. No one in Switzerland goes to the tanning bed. No. Because they're too healthy to do that. They're too smart to do that kind of stuff. So I go in February and it's mostly young ladies that are running the tanning beds, early 20s,

sometimes teenagers if you're there on the weekend or in the evenings. That was one of my first jobs was the tanning bed back in the day. Did you have a lot of guys that came in? Yeah. Did guys hit on you when you went in there all the time? Yeah.

Yeah, I don't, because I'm married and I'm old. So I try to stay age appropriate. I've married the youngest I'm going to marry. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not going to go any younger. And as I get older, so does my line, it gets older. So, so I go in there, there's a young girl, tan as she can be. I mean, just tan as she can be. Oh yeah, when you work there and you got the access. Dark, dark brown. And she's probably 20, if that. And I go in there and she says, oh, well, I see you canceled your membership to the thing

or you canceled your package or whatever it was with the 50 tan, whatever. But today only, you know, they're always trying to sell you something, a new bottle of lotion. I have 30 different sun tanning lotions under my vanity that I never even think about using. Australian gold. Australian gold, that's right.

I remember. Australian gold, blue coast, I got all of them. I got all of them. They all work the same. They don't. Okay. They just moisturize you while you fry. That's right.

What's the point? Fry dry. That's what I say. Fry dry, Bri. That's what I tell. Fry dry, Bri. I'd say, I'd say, I'd walk in the door and say, Hey, Bri, you forgot to put on your lotion. And I go, Hey, don't worry about it. Fry dry, Bri. So I go in and she's trying to pitch me on this whole package deal subscription thing they have going on. And I say, no, thanks anyway. I really appreciate it. And she goes, okay, well today's, you know, okay, well,

if you change your mind, let me know. And I said, okay. And she goes, okay, sign this, you know, for this tan you're going to get today. The waiver? The waiver. We're not responsible for the damage. We're not responsible for your death. And then in every room, they have these big warning signs. It says tanning has been known to cause skin cancer, death, eyeballs falling out, bleeding penis. We're not responsible, herpes,

you know, and who knows, there's laying in those things before you are. Anyway, so I say, okay, I sign, no problems, I go in, do it, blah, blah, blah. So then I'm thinking, oh, you know, we're going to Florida and then the family's taking a trip. I should like, I haven't been out in the sun in a while because I'm tied to this stupid fucking show. And so I say, let me go in and I'll go sign up for a little package. I'll get whatever, 10 tans over the next three months or whatever it is.

So I go in to the separate location that I've been in February and the girl goes, oh, well you have a balance of $567.80. And I was like, what? Huh? What are you talking about? a balance of $567.80. I was like, what? Huh? What are you talking about? Whabam!

You owe Bob's Tanning Salons. Add that to your shitty credit score, Brian. I guess I'm in the 300s now. So I go, what? What are you talking about? I don't owe any money here. Last time I was here was February. They also, I don't know, I don't remember doing credit at the sanding salon.

Well, I don't know. I mean, listen, they're all automated using other systems to do these systems. They're all subscription-based service. Everything is subscription-based. They can ding your card once a month. That's what they want to do. So she says, no, you had like a subscription and then we tried to charge subscription, and then we tried to charge in March, and then we tried to charge again in April, and then we tried to charge again in May. And I go, for a subscription, I didn't order a subscription. And she goes, well, it shows here that you did,

and you signed for it. And I was like, what? And she goes, yeah. And she swings the computer around, it's my signature, on the fucking piece of paper. And I'm like, you gotta be goddamn kidding me. So now I'm huffed and puffed, because I know what happened.

That girl had the whole package up, and then she just had me, she foolhardily signed for it at that point, saying that they were gonna charge my credit card the next month for this subscription service. And I was so miffed. So she gives me the phone number to this particular manager. She gives me like her cell phone number.

I was like, great security around here. And she goes, give whatever a call. And I was like, oh, okay. I know that I- Give Tina a call. Yeah, give Tina Tana Tweed, give the Triple T a call. And they say, I know for a fact that I canceled my membership. And at least I think I did. I'm getting old, so I think I remember this correctly. So I call as I'm leaving, no answer. And I'm so miffed throughout the night. And I'm like, I'm gonna tear into this

because she's trying to fool me, trying to scam me, trying to piss me off. What does she think? She looks at me like I'm a senior citizen. I'll get this senior citizen. He's so rich, he won't even know the difference. And I was like, well, luckily used a credit card that no longer has any credit on it. She actually, the card that I charged had expired in that month.

So they weren't going to ding that credit card anyway. So anyway, so I go, okay, all right, all right, all right, all right. A couple days go by and then I remember I got to call this person and I go, okay, Brian, simmer down. You saw this girl. She's 20 years old. She's tan as a pan and she's got that, you know, I'm 20 years old, tan as a pan attitude. You come in hot, you're just going to be an old bitchy dude, an old fucking miserable white man that's ruining her day.

I'm doing the exact thing that us and Scott Cease discussed when we interviewed him. I'm going in and I'm ruining somebody's day because they have pissed me off, right? Or because I feel like I have power over them. I said, come in with the Brian look. Sweet as honey, lovely as can be. And I go, hey, listen, Tina, name's Brian Green. You probably don't remember me. And she goes, hey, listen, Tina, name's Brian Green. I mean, you probably don't remember me. And she goes, it's your birthday, nine two. And I go, how'd you know that?

And she goes, it comes up in our system. And I was like, okay, all right, listen, nine two. This nine two for Mr. Green. Thanks for the birthday wish, by the way. Happy birthday. You're gonna ding my credit. Luckily you're the person I owe the least amount of money to. And I go, hey, Tina, I don't know if it's you

or I don't know if it's me, but there was some kind of miscommunication that happened on this last time in February that I went. I realized it six months ago, it's hard to remember, and I realized that everybody makes a mistake. And I'm not saying it's your fault, maybe it's my fault. I don't wanna point fingers, I just wanna get to the bottom of it, so I can fucking tan.

Because just like McDonald's, you're the only fucking place to go within 7,000 miles for a tan that I trust. It's not like in the back of somebody's house. Dale's house. Remember when people used to have tanning beds in their house? I guess probably people still do.

When I got this notification about this money that I owed, I started Googling around tanning places and I'm telling you what, there are pictures on Google of people who are running tanning beds you can pay for literally in their basement. And I'm like, the fuck I'm gonna do that? It is Tina Tannen-Juys, that's what it is. It's literally a place where like

unlicensed beauty services and tanning. And dental work. Yeah, and dental work apparently here in Atlanta is a hotbed for horse teeth. They take them out of horses. And when horses die here in Atlanta, people rush to their mouth, take out the teeth and then insert them because they're veneer techs.

Whatever that means. Dentist! That's who you go to if they're going to shave down your fucking teeth! The only ones you get in life and they're going to shave them down and you trust fucking, I don't know, some dude just like Jamiroquai to put new horse teeth in your mouth. to put new horse teeth in your mouth. The fuck are you thinking? Anyway, so I have this conversation. And at the end she goes, hmm, I go through this whole thing and she goes, hmm,

well, I wanna thank you for not being a miserable dick on this phone call. And I go, oh, I didn't know what, because of that 20 year old accent, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, Valley Girl accent. I didn't know if she was of that 20 year old accent, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, Valley Girl accent. I didn't know if she was like being facetious or not. And she goes,

because most people would have called up and just wanted to ruin my day, but you happen to be nice about it. So I'm gonna wipe clean the 500. And I go, oh, thank you. Thinking in my head, you are the one who did it in the first place. But I just said, okay, you're welcome.

I just wanted you to know. I didn't wanna come in hot and ruin your day, like you said. I just wanted to get to the bottom of it and see if there was a solution so that I may come to your tanning bed again, because if you're asking me for $576.80 right now, you're gonna have to put me out a $2 a month payment plan. It's not gonna work out.

Ever heard of the commercial break? No? Nobody else has either. Yeah. So anyway, so you know, I'll get straightened out. She says, come see me on Friday. You have to sign a piece of paper and we'll wipe the slate clean. I'll even give you a discount on your package. Very nice. Lovely. Lovely. So I go in, I see her, I sign, niceties are exchanged, I go in. So today I go in this morning, I'm near one of these locations, one I haven't been to, and so I go into it, right? I go into this facility.

Nice young girl standing behind the counter. What's your name? Mr. Green, you know, can you help me out here? I have one of those packages or whatever. And she goes, okay, right, nine, two, yes, okay, listen, I'm missing you, right, right, right. Well, it says here that you owe $576. He says.

And I go, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We already went through this with Tina over at Tina Tannen Tweez. If you could give her a call. So she did and everything got straightened out. And while I'm standing there, during this seven minute and a half minute phone call, where they're, I don't know, talking about the latest TikTok trend,

and they're occasionally addressing the situation at hand, in walks another dude. And like when you're in a tanning bed and in walks another dude. And like when you're in a tanning bed and you see another dude, you don't look him in the eye. You just, uh huh, me too. This guy's young, he's young. He's like, I don't know, 25, 26 years old is my guess.

He doesn't look particularly muscly. Like, you know, I think guys who work on themselves, you know, they like to have the tans, you could actually see the six pack. I like to have the tan on my face to avoid you looking at my 12 pack, my 30 pack. And so, but then I can't help but note, I kind of look up and I go, oh, yeah, you are tan, dude, like super tan. And you could tell he's got that fairish skin, even though he's tan, he's got fair skin. You can see it. This dude's been tanning. Tanning. And I've heard of people that are addicted to tanning, like go every fucking day kind of tanning. But I don't think, and I know,

I've seen women, I think, who are addicted to tanning. I've seen bodybuilders who paint themselves a certain color because that apparently is the thing to do in your body build. But I don't think I've ever seen like a young dude tanning addict kind of thing. So then he goes up to the counter, she gets off the phone, she goes, let me help him and I'll help you in a minute. And I'm like, okay, fine, whatever. Yeah, because my time is less important. And she types in his name and I'm standing there at the desk. And then she goes, oh, you're like six hours early. And he goes, Oh, six hours early. You can only tan once every 24 hours.

Oh my God. By state law, by state law. You can only tan once every 24 hours and he's six hours early. And he's like, it's bullshit. The normal manager lets me take the, you know, I can come in anytime I want to. She lets me do it. And she's like, well, I don't know what that girl's doing, but she is like, it's state law. She can't, you know, do this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, like fry your insides.

I know. I wanted to pull the guy aside. Not only your skin, but your insides. I wanted to pull the guy aside and I wanted to say tan man to tan man. Slow it down a little bit. Tan tan to tan tan. I wanted to tan tan man to tan tan man. I wanted to tell you, once every seven or 10 days, you'll be okay. You get a good base coat.

Right now it looks completely unnatural. You look like these curtains, honestly. You look a weird color of brown. It's not normal. You're gonna get leathery, honestly. You look a weird color of brown. It's not normal. You're going to get leathery, bro. And when you get leathery, you're going to be like, you know, those guys. Too light. Yeah. Like Captain Steve that I take down in Florida, whose neck is literally a piece

of leather. Frankie B. Frankie B. That's right. So I told, I wanted to say to him, so he, he huffs out, literally was pissed off. He huffs out. That's bizarre. And I said, I didn't know the state law about every 25, I should go, yeah, I wanted to say this, so he huffs out, literally was pissed off, he huffs out. That's bizarre. I didn't know the state law about every 25, I should go, oh yeah, I've been there for years. It's one of the first things we learn, you know, you got, the clock resets itself every 24 hours, you can't go more than that. She goes, because if you let some people, they would come here like

three times a day. And I go, no, that's not true. And she goes, we actually have people who work here who do it like three times a day? And I'm like three times a day. And she's like, you're not supposed to, but sometimes it happens. And I'm like, that's fucking insane. How do you get on that plane? How much does that package cost? 596. How much does the Donald Trump package cost?

That's what I thought to myself. How much does the detail, there he is right there. I see him on the TV. Look at him. Yeah, but he sprayed tans, I think. I think so too. It's a make-up-y thing. You'd think that after all of these years,

DJT would actually stop doing the raccoon thing. Like, can't someone get in there with a little makeup? You know? I agree. Yeah. Like, you know, they give you glasses when you go to the tanning. They do, those little tiny ones. Those little tiny little ones.

But even the tiny little ones will make little raccoon eyes. So I go in there and I just stare at the bulbs. Perfect. I just stare at the bulb. So the girl goes, what do you want? And I go, give me the elite gold sunbed or whatever it is, the spaceship to the moon. Yeah, you don't want to go base. No.

You don't want to go like stand up number seven. You want to go like, you know, lay down number one or two. You want to get the good one. Yeah, you want to get the kind that only indirectly burns your skin. That's right. Not directly, but indirectly gets deeper into your skin. So I say, give me that, you know, that elite one, the kind with the woody fans of the Bluetooth audio and, you know, the face tan. And she goes, oh, okay, that one's available. But let me tell you, they put new bulbs in it.

Oh, the new bulbs. Yesterday. And I know I hate the new bulb thing, because you never know. And for those of you that don't know, when they put new bulbs in, apparently they burn hotter when they're new and less hot, or they burn brighter or whatever. It's like the sun. Eventually, it kind of putters itself out. And so I say, okay, listen, she goes, and I go, how much time do you think? Like, what's your guess? And I'm asking a 19-year-old girl what she thinks about my personal health condition, right? Like, how much crack do you think I should smoke tonight? How many children do you think I should have?

How about that interest rate? You want to write me a prescription? Should I refinance? Yeah. Do you want to write me a prescription? Whatever you think, doc. But I do the same thing too with different people that you go to for specialty things, like my nail person.

I'll be like, whatever you think. Yeah. You're the expert. Exactly, but they're the expert. And I assume that the girls who work there know much more about tanning than I do. They probably go to some kind of class, I imagine. No.

I don't know. You don't think so? No? They don't give you, what about the big chain people? Like you don't think they like say a few words to them about it? There's probably some kind of handbook or also like a shadowing day maybe? Oh, one shadowing day? I mean, I don't remember much training.

Well, I just assume they learn by osmosis and literal osmosis into their skin, right? How to do it. So she says, listen, here's what I think. She goes, we won't allow you at this point to go more than seven minutes. Max is always 11, right? She goes, we won't allow you to go more than seven minutes because they're just, they just burn too hot. She goes, but personally, like for your type of skin, old man skin, I would do five, right? And I go, give me the seven. And I go, give me the seven. I go, give me the seven. What do you think? Five, no.

No, seven, yeah. No, I don't believe you. Where's the bag? Now I don't trust you, right. So I said, give me the seven. I can get out if I'm feeling a little rusty. You know, if I feel a little crusty. In fact, I go, oh no, I said that.

I'm feeling a little crispy. And she gave me this look like we don't like that language in here. You know what I'm saying? We don't like the word crispy. If I can smell my skin burning more than normal. Yes, that's how I do it. If I smell my skin burning, then I'm done.

I'm done. We've all been to the beach and you smell your skin burning and you're like, that's it, I'm done. So, I go in there and I'm like, this girl doesn't know what she's talking about. Seven minutes, blah, blah, blah, blah. I swear to God, Chrissy, minute number three and a half, I'm like, this girl doesn't know what she's talking about. Seven minutes, blah, blah, blah, blah. I swear to God, Chrissy, minute number three and a half, I was like, oh shit, yeah, this is intense. I bailed it four and a half minutes.

I'm like, okay, she was right. Sorry. And I told her so when I was leaving. I was like, okay, you were right. I'll listen to you next time. All right, well, listen, I guess enough about my personal problems. You look very tan.

Thank you. Very good. I appreciate it. Yeah, I noticed it right when I saw you today. It'll fade tomorrow. Tomorrow it'll be a nice clear coat. Translucent. Nice translucent brown.

A doo-doo brown tomorrow. That's what it'll be. Perfect. All right, we'll be back. I'll talk about Blue's diarrhea. Everyone's looking forward to it. It'll be. Perfect. All right, we'll be back. I'll talk about Blue's diarrhea. Oh! Everyone's looking forward to it.

Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha, I can't wait! Oh! What a day. We'll take a break. Ha ha ha. I know you're just dying to say, I went to the Bone Orlando on September 25th

to see an extremely mid podcast and I had a pretty okay time. Well, we're creeping up on that time, so get your tickets at the link in our show notes and make those dreams come true. And I promise we are actually working hard to provide a more than mid show. We're also going to be at Daina Beach Improv on September 24th, so come see us there too. Now, I would be remiss if I didn't take this time to ask you to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break.

I know you're not tired of hearing this. And on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And to let you know that all of our audio and video can be found on our website, tcbpodcast.com. Not on social media? Text us instead at 212-433-3TCB. While you're contemplating what hilarious meme to send us, let's listen to our sponsors and get back to the show. What's it like to trade crypto on Kraken?

Let's say I'm in a state-of-the-art gym surrounded by powerful looking machines. Do I head straight for the squat rack? I could, but this gym has options, like trainers, fitness pros, botters to back me up. That's crypto on Kraken, powerful crypto tools backed by 24-7 support and multi-layered security. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice. Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash pru dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. I'm Jean Marie Laskus. I'm a journalist.

I spent my career helping Americans understand the lives of other Americans, coal miners, gun shop clerks, staffers in the White House mailroom. In my new podcast, Cement City, I tell the story of an entire town, a dying town that you have absolutely no reason to care about. But trust me, you will. Listen to and follow Cement City, an Odyssey Original podcast in partnership with Cement City Productions. Available now for free on the Odyssey app and wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not going back to university to be your friend. I'm going so I can get Uber

One for students. It saves you on Uber and Uber Eats. I'm there for $0 delivery fee on cheeseburgers, up to 5% off smoothies and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever you think university is for. Get Uber One for students, a membership to save on Uber and Uber Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month.

Savings may vary. Eligibility and member Eats. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may vary. Eligibility and member terms apply. All right, so Blue, my dog. Okay. At this point, anything is content. Yeah, anything is content at this point. So Blue, my dog.

I think the listeners want it. I think they deserve to know. About the dog's foul. It's the first thing I thought about as I'm cleaning up her shit. I'm like, this is gonna be fun for the commercial break. I think about you guys. That's what I think about all day long. My wife, yeah, she comes in like third.

My kids, they're like fifth. What do I think about? Tanning bed? Pool. Yeah, tanning bed in my pool. Oh, let me tell you about my pool first. So Astrid, so we have this pool house that Astrid's dad built with his hands.

Oh yeah. I mean, with his hands, he built it. From scratch. By himself, I will add. Yeah, I remember when he was building it. Yes, it's got four walls and a roof, like a slanted roof, rain falls off it. And it's still there, and it stayed erect. It's still four walls and a roof, like a slanted roof, rain falls off it.

And it's still there, and it stayed erect. It's still there. It stayed erect, unlike me. ED, I have it. ED, I have it. Oh my God, that's too funny. ED, I have it. If you got a softie in your brain, you're going to have a softie in your pants.

You know what I'm saying? All right. So, Daniel comes and we have this pool equipment that sits on the side of this cement patio that we have around the pool. And I never, it just has this weird fence around it and it's a lot of pool equipment. And I never liked that it was just sitting out in the middle of the yard. And also there's a lot of stuff that goes along with a pool and the house in general doesn't have a ton of storage, like I'm sure a lot of people are used to. And Daniel, every time he comes, starts collecting new tools, like from the

neighbors, from a trash can, from some lady that died. Like, he collects all these tools. And so now I have like a tool, a workshop bench, a table saw, all these things that I have never used, and they will never use, but they're there for Daniel because that's his thing and he likes it and man, is he fucking good at it. And he knows that his son-in-law may be a good man, but he is completely useless. He may be good to my grandchildren and may be okay for my daughter, but he's completely inept. And I am, I give it to him, I am. He built this studio, he's built multiple studios.

And my strengths, I can't think of one right now, but I'll get back to you. My weakness is tanning, tools, negotiating, real estate. Negotiating packages at the tanning bed. Turning things on and off. Changing diapers, taking care of animals. There's a list of weaknesses that I have. Killing houseplants.

You know, I'd listen. I'm not... Anyway, so he built this thing and it's a maze balls. It's just like, it's beautiful. It works perfectly. And it's storage for a lot of stuff that we otherwise can't house. Mainly the stuff where men would use. Manly things. Manly things. otherwise can't house. Mainly the stuff where men would use.

Do manly things? Manly things. I call that the testosterone house. And so I go in there and you take care of the pool filter and stuff like that. You just look around at everything and say... That's right. I stare at it and I go, yeah, that's a... That must be a wrench. I will never use that. Yes. That's a. That must be a wrench. I will never use that. Yes, that's a socket set.

Hey Brian, those are nails. Yes, you would use a socket set for, or a hammer. Hey Brian. So I go back, so Ashford's back there the other day and we're doing the pool shutdown. We're deflating all of the toys, putting everything in its place. Oh, you're closing it down. Closing the pool. Yeah, because I mean- right after you just did all the work on it. Well, I actually closed it before we did all the work. This all happened. This is just so

it can make it through the winter. I spent $700 so far. I was thinking about wanting to come and take a dip now that it's all fresh. Fresh is the word. It's 72 degrees. It's fresh. Me and the squirrel. It's fresh is the word. It's 72 degrees. It's fresh. Me and the squirrel. I'm a little play friend. Oh, that squirrel. We've got to put it up. Brian showed it to me. I actually took a video of the squirrel taking a bath. It's hilarious. I'll put it up. I'll put it up on Instagram.

So Astrid's back there doing this the other day and I'm laying in bed because I have a bulge disk. I have a blown disc. Astrid's out in the shed. Astrid's out in the shed. Astrid goes to the shed more than Brian does. It might be just to get away for a moment. Couldn't you blame her? No. Can you hardly blame the lady? I mean, can you imagine being married to this? You guys

only need to, you guys only need an hour a day And that's her break. So she says, honey, she comes back in a couple of hours later, she says, honey, one thing Astrid will not do, bugs. She will not do bugs and she will not do burglars. If there's something, she won't do bugs, emergency, bugs, blood and burglars, Astrid won't do. So I'm okay with all of those things. I got it. So she says, listen, blood and burglars, Astrid won't do. So I'm okay with all of those things. I got it. So she says, listen, there's my strength, bugs, blood and burglars. Great. That comes in handy twice a year. I'm trying to stay positive. Hey, listen to me too. You know, off myself anytime soon. She says, the thing about the shed is we were supposed to get

doors for it, but we just kind of kept it open because it's easier just to kind of go in and out. It's not climate controlled, so why have doors? And we already have a big fence around the yard, no one's getting in. So she goes, there's two huge hornets' nests hanging from the ceiling, hanging from the rafters. And I was like, oh, and I've been going in and out of there all summer, sometimes once, twice a day, and I never even noticed it. I was like, but what I did notice is at the end of the summer, when I was swimming with the kids, there were like a lot of hornets that were coming to get water. There were like a lot of hornets.

Everybody is so watering hole. No wonder I'm putting so much water in there. Every animal in town is coming to my pool to drink my unclorinated water. They're like, this is the freshest water I've had all week. It's less chlorinated than the water you drink out of your faucet. So I go, oh, okay. All right. I'll go take a look. So I go there and she, and no shit. These hornets' nests areests are a buzzing with hornets.

Hundreds of them. Really? I just found a small one out at our yard. And these are about like a handful, like B cup. I would say B, C cup. Brass size. That's how I know. I go, yep, B, C cup. And a nice big handful. And I go, oh yeah, oh wow, those spray it and then stay away, right? Spray and get away. That's basically what it says. Yeah.

So spray it for as long as you can, 15 to 30 seconds and then run. As long as it takes before the hornets start coming towards you. Exactly. And then it says it'll kill the nest within 24 hours. So, I get these two cans, I come back to the house. Look at you gentrifying those sheds. I know. I get those wasps out of there. They gotta clean up this neighborhood. I hate those white Anglo-Saxons. Gotta clean up this neighborhood. Too Christian conservative

for my taste. So, I go and then I'm like eyeing them. These two open doors, you can't get a good angle with the spray. I already know this for a fact. I'm not going to get a good angle with the spray from the doors. I'm going to have to be inside this thing in order to spray them. Oh, that's what I'm picturing. Yeah, you've got to get in there. I got to get in there. I gotta get in there. They're like in the middle of the actual, and they're like right next to each other, rafter and rafter, they're like right next to each other.

And I say to myself, well, shit, Brian, you're not gonna be able to do this on your own. So what does Brian do? Brian finds a construction mask from Daniel, a pair of construction gloves. Ha ha ha. Good thinking, actually. You needed like a net, like a mesh. I know. I wish I had one of those like beekeeper suits, but I didn't. So I go in there, dual

loaded. I'm shaking them up like this, dual loaded, my mask on, and I go and I stand right under my crouched down and I go, and the stuff just hits the nest and then comes splashing back on me. I didn't think about that. It's not like a goo, it's like a very viscous substance. It just starts raining down on me. And I'm like, ah, ah, it's burning my eyes. I'm like, ah. I was wondering if you had goggles on.

No, I had my glasses, but it wasn't helping. So I'm like, oh shit, Brian. Oh shit, abort mission, abort. Now you're covered with poison. And I sprayed him and I know I got him. And I'm like, you know, I know I got him, but I didn't get him for very long because it was coming back down on me. And so then I go and I run and I hide behind the shed and I'm like, okay, I don't see, I don't hear, you know, but now I start hearing like buzzing. They're all like going crazy inside of the shed. Our home just got destroyed.

And so I decide, okay, Brian, like I'm in the military or something. I think to myself, what would MacGyver do here? That's the only man I could think of. What would MacGyver do here? What would MacGyver do here? That's the only man I could think of. What would MacGyver do here? What would Daniel do? What would Daniel do? He would swing around and as he's passing the door, he would lean down in and he would go, and just go, go get a second spray. And that's what I did. I did like this military maneuver and I was like, and I went up there. And then they started following me out of the gate. I'm sure. Oh my God. They were like around my head

and I was freaking out, Chrissy. The neighbor across the street must have thought I was having seizure. Yeah, I was like, screaming like a girl. Are Astrid and the kids just sitting there watching you? No, they didn't even know. I'm picturing them watching. They didn't even know. I didn't want the kids at all interested in what was going on because then they want to come and I can't explain to them that you're going to get bit and it's going to be bad.

So I'm like, ah, ah! Did you at least alert Astrid that you were doing this so that in case you didn't come back in a reasonable amount of time, you weren't having some kind of reaction to stings. No, I figured it'd be a blessing in disguise if I just got stung so badly and swole up and fell in the pool, the green pool with the frogs and the squirrels, and just kind of fell to the bottom. She'd find me eventually. And I swear to God, I ran a hundred feet away from these things, and they were like zipping around the front of the house.

Oh my God, that's like a movie. It was a movie. They were pissed, man. Well, yeah. They were pissed. So I got to go back out there today and see what the situation is because it says after 24 hours, go investigate and if you see any activity, do another one. Well, now I'll know to get a little further away.

Like, I've got to find a different angle. Yeah. And I stupidly dropped the can, like I threw them inside there. So now I gotta go back inside to get the, yeah, I do. They're probably sitting lying in wait, like, get you. He's gotta come back for the cans.

All right, so I wake up this morning and Astrid, who is normally the one, I mean, we both are very frustrated with the blues situation. Yeah, everyone is. I think even Chrissy is getting frustrated with the blues situation. It's hard not to be. It's water torture is what it is. It's just slowly, she just eats away at your sense of sanity, quite frankly.

And because she's a Yorkie, she has never really been fully house trained or really house trained at all. We tried for years, but Yorkies are first of all, notorious for not being house trained because they can get away with it. If there's a big dog and he starts circling the living room to take a shit, you can see it, right? There's only so many places a big dog can like actually

take a dump in your house. Little dogs, they can literally go under your bed, spin around, take a shit and leave and you won't find it for two days. Well, in Brian's case, you'll find it two seconds later, but you know what I'm saying. So this dog, so we have pads in the house in specific areas where she needs to go. And so I told you the other day, we've noticed that she's pissing 12, 13, 14, 15 times a day. She's doing it on the pads, but then she's doing it elsewhere too. She's peeing a lot.

We think she has diabetes. We're gonna take her to go see the vet. So I wake up this morning and I ask her to- That's where you need to buy a package, is at the vet. We have insurance. We have doggy insurance. Best investment we ever made, especially with Nico.

Because Nico went to the hospital, literally the first day we got him, and every other day after that with Nico because- R.I.P Nico. R.I.P Nico. You were such a drama queen, but we loved you so much. Every time that somebody even got near you, you were like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. You'd be like, oh, what's wrong?

He was so scared of everything. He was hurt when you even thought about it. When you said the word hurt, he was hurt. They never found anything wrong with him. He was just like, he just was, I don't know, he was scared. So I wake up this morning, you know, Asher's up before me. We both wake up relatively early on school days and she's usually up before me with a couple of the kids. And so I go into the kitchen and she looks like she's in a foul mood and I'm like, hey, you okay? And she goes, it's a fucking dog and shitting everywhere.

And I'm like, blue shit everywhere, what is she doing? And she goes, I don't know, she got diarrhea or something. And I'm like, oh, God, that's terrible. Yeah, dog diarrhea. I go and then I can see near one of her pads, there's like a whole diarrhea problem going on. Like she shit on the pad and then she shit on the side of the pad and then she shit in front of the pad

and then she whatever, right? So I go, okay, you know, I'll help clean up and whatever. I go out, Astrid's gone. I come back, I'm the only one at the house. And I'm like, oh, okay, Blue comes trotting, you know, I come in the door and Blue comes trotting over to make sure that she barks at me to get me all riled up. And I'm like, hey, Blue, what's going on? You know, how's that, how's that tummy doing? Is shit anywhere in the house? And I look in the usual places, nope, nope, nope, nothing.

And so I go back to my bedroom and then Blue has hopped on this little bed we have next to our bed for the kids in case they won't sleep at night in the room, right? And Blue is on the bed dragging her ass across the bed. And I am like, you, but let me tell you this. What is on top of the bed? What have I just thrown on top of the bed? My fucking shirt. So, Blue is wiping her ass on my shirt.

This little shithead is personal now. Now it's personal. She's like, fuck you and all your complaining. That's a shitty shirt. I'm like, you goddamn little rat. What is wrong with you? Oh my God, Chrissy. It got personal. It got personal right there. And then of course, you know, I got a sticker in the sink and point her ass up in the air and spray her down. And I'm like, oh, I hate this. I hate it. I am going to get rid of diapers in this house.

Nicole S goes on over there and then asking me if I want yet another diaper to change. Doc, it must be nice. I called Chrissy today. Hey, you want to come over at X time to get started? And Chrissy goes, yeah, I just woke up. It's like 10 30 in the morning. Like I've been up since five oh five. Must be nice to have old children. I'll switch with you for one day. I was like, you don't have long, just like 10 years. I don't have long, yeah. Just like 18 more years and everything will be fine. And the way it's going these days, those kids will be with me forever.

Forever! Oh my God. Let's take a break and I got something I wanna talk to you about, I think you'll find it interesting. Coming at you live from my bedroom, it's your producer, Christina, here to tell you to come to our live shows. We are going to be in Dania Beach at Dania Beach Improv, I think I said it right, on September 24th, in the Funny Bone Orlando, henceforth known as The Bone, on September

25th. It's coming up quick, so get your tickets ASAP. If you can't make it to our shows, don't worry, we still love and cherish you. But we do request that you follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast, because social media is very hard. Got something to say?

Text us or call us at 212-4333-3TCB and leave us an unhinged voicemail because that is something I am personally a very big fan of and I can't wait to hear what you have to say. Check out our website, tcbpodcast.com because there is a very glorious back catalog of audio and video that lives on our website just waiting for you to watch it.

Now let's hear from our sponsors and we will get back to Brian and Chrissy chatting about who knows what. Looking for a path to accelerate your career? Clear direction for next level success? In a place that is innovative and practical? A path to stay current and connected to industry? A place where you can be yourself?

You will find it at York University School of Continuing Studies, where we offer career programs purpose-built for you. Visit continue.yorku.ca What does possible sound like for your business? It's having the spend to power your scale with no preset spending limit Redefine possible with business platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express terms and conditions apply visit MX dot C a slash business platinum Women are Saying some women some single women are now adhering to the 666 rule.

Have you heard this? I don't think that I have. So I read this in like a, you know, one of the rags online, one of the magazines online. And one of the magazines, yeah, Buzzfeed, exactly. That's probably where I did read it. You know, all the new and current information that I get from AARPonline.com.

I saw that some women are now adhering to the 666 rule. That is six pack, six feet tall, six figures. Okay? That, if you're not that, then don't bother. Wow. Yeah, you're a scrub, not interesting. You're a scrub, don't get no love from me. If you can't pay my bills, then I'm ranting, ranting, ranting, ranting, ranting, ranting. Who is that? TLC? Yeah, TLC. And so, there's a lot of pushback on this, as you can understand. There's a lot of women that agree. There's a lot of men that agree

that those men mainly have a six pack, six feet tall, and six figures. Yeah, but there's a lot of pushback about this. On the surface, I will tell you that I think that this is rather shallow minded. I understand that in today's world, you almost have to make an instant decision, like instant decision, insta decision,

on what exactly you want to or don't want to date. Like if you're going to just look at someone on the surface and make a determination about whether or not you want to have a relationship with them, there is zero time, it seems like, it appears at least, I think there really is, but I don't think we think about it like that, to get to know somebody. And if you take the time to get to know somebody, I think you would broaden your horizons. There are- Nicole Soule-Nichols Absolutely. Jared Suellentrop If I look at the world, I would say there's

probably five, six percent of the men out there have six figure salaries, six feet tall and have a six pack. It's a very small amount of men. But like my good friend, Professor G likes to say, he says that increasingly the large- Who's Professor G? Professor Galloway? Do you know who Professor Galloway is? No. Okay. Look him up on Instagram. He says some things that you may find controversial, but hear him out and I think he makes sense. He is also extraordinarily liberal, I will tell you that, but he has been talking

about how loneliness of single men is a huge problem and has been a huge problem for a very long time and the chickens are now coming home to roost. And I agree with him on this one. And his whole theory is, or backed by not anecdotal evidence, scientific evidence, if you hear him out, is that a larger portion of women are increasingly looking for a smaller portion of men. They are making a quick determination about what it is they need in a partner, and that is increasingly unattainable. So, you have 10 women to every guy that is really out there in real life, a good guy who makes a ton of money, looks great, and is over six feet tall, right?

And so, more and more men are feeling disillusioned, lonely, and do not have any chance in hell of competing with these other men. And when you think about it, I believe that it's true. If you go on a dating app and you're a woman, a single woman, let's say, HODLy went on a dating app today, HODLy within hours would have 10, 20, 30 men that would have swiped on her or put them in their favorites or whatever, and would already be communicating with her. Chrissy would probably have the pick of the litter and she would pick the pick of the litter. And that's, I'm not saying that Chrissy's shallow, I'm saying that it's likely that

would happen, right? Well, I don't know. I have done it. I know you haven't been there, but I'm going to guess that's what would happen. In my own personal experiences and the people that I know, I believe this to be true, that if you are a guy, let's say- That the women have way more choices than the men. Jared Lieberman We have, we'll have way more men that come toward them and therefore, you have the pick, right? You pick one that's 20, 30 men that

did not get connected, right, that move on to the next one that also did not get connected because there's another woman that also has the pick of the litter and that doesn't happen to be them. They don't look right, they don't have the right profile, they don't say the right things, they don't fit the right stereotypes, and so they become increasingly and increasingly disillusioned with romance and dating and females in general. They find themselves insulated and lonely because women only want the top 3%. I'm not saying all women, and then I'm not saying that all women are shallow. Probably most women are not shallow. I actually believe that most human beings are not shallow. And given the opportunity, they would pick substance over style nine times out of ten.

Is it fun and interesting to think about, you know, Christian Grey coming and swooping you up with a contract to live as a billionaire for the rest of your life and have orgasmic sex every time you want it? Yes. Is that a reality? Probably not in most circumstances. But I'm just telling you what I think is playing out time and time and time again, because we are being asked, forced, funneled into a situation where you make, you have to make a snap decision based on a picture and two lines of text. That's it, right? And- Well, I think that goes both ways. Of course it does.

But I don't think that most guys like me would go on like myself would go. I would also say to like, I mean, even looking at the Frankie B. Yeah. Videos that he was doing about, you know, you need to be looking. I mean, it could go the reverse way to where the guys are just like only want

a certain look and person. You could be. You could be absolutely right about that. But let me give you my own personal experiences on the app. Compared to, let's just compare it to a couple of female friends that I had that were also on similar app Tinder, right? They would have hundreds and hundreds of men communicating with them, and it got like overwhelming for them, right? They would just have to scroll through, find the finest guy that they saw with a semi-human

sentence in their thing, and they would say, okay, that guy, let me go on a date with that guy, because they can't possibly communicate with all of these human beings at the same time. I would swipe right for days, and maybe one would be a match, or two would be a match and maybe one would be a match or two would be a match or three would be a match. I think total the time that I was on Tinder, I maybe had seven matches, maybe. And I swiped on hundreds and hundreds of people. It was a game. You would do it at night. You'd do it at night. You'd just sit there and swipe right or swipe left. Right? And so that's the thing. So now this 666 rule kind of reinforces

like this really shitty stereotype that, you know, all women are looking for this 666 thing, which I don't think is true at all. Yeah. I'm in the 5-5-5 category. I'm five-ish something foot tall. I have five extra pounds on each love handle and I have a 500 credit score. So if you're looking for that, dial me up. You know my number, you got me. Astrid's

looking for 555. She might be looking for 554 pretty soon. But anyway, you get it. After my tanning bed credit incident. Yeah, well, that's sad. I mean, I think it is sad. I think, again, I think it goes both ways of people being just looking for something on the surface to just, I guess, get the next interaction. I don't even know how it works now at this point. You know, I've been out of the dating pool for a while. And so I don't know what it's devolved to.

Yeah, and you know, I've read so much about this, like it's been years, nine years since I've been single, almost 10 years since I've been single. And when I was single, my preferred method of communication was a connection through a friend, someone that I met at a bar, a friend of a friend of a friend, someone I saw at a party in real life. Because I stood a chance then. Why? Because I think that my award-winning personality, I don't know which award I've won, but I'd like to think I'm winning awards. I'll give you an award. Thank you, baby. I appreciate it. Because that is truly how you connect with someone

on a level that's deeper than a picture. I'm not saying it doesn't go both ways, it absolutely does. Because if 10 women showed up in my profile today and I had to pick one or two to communicate with, I would pick the ones that looked the best. Why? Because that's what the app is built for. But now that's what all apps are built for.

They're all built for that. It's a fucking beauty contest. Right? And, but I think it is a little, I think the experience is a little bit different from men, anecdotally from my own network of human beings, than it is for women. And I think that leaves a lot of guys on the sidelines who almost never communicate with anybody. If you went to a party and saw five guys and one of them was like super fucking fantastically

hot and one of them was Brian Grain, right? But you talked to all of them for a few seconds and you thought, oh, well, you know, that guy that hunk, he didn't really have a personality. Yeah. I mean, I remember dating guys that were very good looking, but they had nothing that I was interested in when it came down to things. Yeah. They were just like, and that's not all people who are beautiful. No, no people who are beautiful, there's lots of people with substance that are fantastically good looking,

right? But I'm just saying, as a stereo, let's put a stereotypical spin on it. If you go into a room with five guys, hottest to not hottest, and you five to one, and then you find that number one and two are not maybe like the most attractive people I've ever seen in my entire life, but I was really attracted to their personalities and the five minutes that I had with them, right? Or the 10 minutes that I communicated with them, or they bought me a beer, they held the door, they, you know, whatever floats your boat, right? Whatever you're into, there's something that happens there that's more meaningful than just looking at a picture or looking at how tall they are or looking at their credit score. Because let's face it, like, not everybody gets the same lot in life and we're not all born with the same, not everyone can be Brian Greene. Okay, that's it. That's all I gotta say,

not everyone's Hanbone and Hoadley. There's lots of people out there who are just not Hanbone and Hoadley. But I bet, with some of those people, if you took five minutes to get to know them, there may be something like the X factor, the something that you just can't describe that's there, that you're really connected to, that you really feel attracted to. And in the long run, wouldn't that probably be a better situation? Looks fade. Dicks shrivel. 100%! You're correct. Is this a PSA for the single ladies out there? This is a PSA for the single ladies and the single men out there.

I think we're all learning something here. We're learning that maybe communication face to face on a human level that's more deep and a little bit more mature. I think there is a backlash. I think there is a movement to go more towards, and the pandemic didn't help anything. You know, with being isolated and cut off and just learning to live that way because you had to. But hopefully there is a backlash out there or a different change. I see matchmakers coming back in style.

Like personal matchmaker. I love those shows too on Netflix. I know, you know, I went to school with the girl who owns seven, is it seven at seven or five at five? Yeah, seven at seven, five or five. There's two of them and I can't remember which one she owns, but she owns it. It's been an extraordinarily successful business.

She's been on like Oprah or something, I don't know. And her name is Catherine and she- Yeah, where the person meets both, meets many people in person. Seven women, seven men. Gets to know them and decides. Go to dinner. Nobody's matched up, right?

And they have personal mass-mating services there too. Of course, you can go one-on-one dating. But it's like seven women, seven men, they meet for dinner, or seven men and seven men, or seven women and seven women, depending on what your predilection is. And they meet for dinner and they hang out for the night, and connections are naturally made. But everyone's single, and everyone's willing to, has an open mind about potentially dating or going, or being in a relationship. That's a great fucking idea. It really is a great fucking idea. It is, yeah.

Get one of those together. A two at two. Let's have two at two. I don't know if I can handle seven people at the same time, but two on two. I worked in a restaurant. So, I went to high school with this girl, Sarah Catherine Smith. And Sarah Catherine, then when I worked in the restaurant business, she started going around the restaurants when she started the business to see if she could do these dates. And so, two of the restaurants I worked at, I was like, yeah, fuck, whatever, let's do that. And they would come in all the time. We've got plenty of three day old bread we can give people. Hey, Chianti Classico for seven at seven. Get me seven stale breads.

Get me seven stale breads and a Chianti Classico. Make it 14 actually, 14 stale breads make it 14 actually, 14 Estelle LaBrette's and two bottles of Chianti Classico. Amazing, amazing. I hope that, I think there's back, listen, now they're starting to, like, did you hear what Instagram did? Here's what Instagram did. Listen to this, this will start rolling out in the next two months. If you're a parent of a child who has an Instagram account, or even if you're just a child and your parents don't know you have an Instagram account, or even if you're just a child and your parents don't know you have an Instagram account, if you're putting your real age in there, which I think there's lots of ways they have to verify this kind of stuff now, through like, you know, birth records and all the stuff that's publicly made available, Instagram, which is owned by Facebook, will now not allow you

to connect to certain people so far out of your circle. You can now not message and people cannot message you unless you're inside their circle. Your parents can now see your instant messages, who you're looking at and what you're doing. New parental controls. They have safety measures that they are now putting into place for children. You know, I think it's only, you're only supposed to be on there if you're 13 years old or older. But they're saying that children as young as 10 are using it, probably younger than that, right? But they're putting these voluntarily, putting these controls in place for parents and for children to make the app safer.

And I think it's a step. I don't think it's enough, but I think it's a step in the right direction on behalf of Zuckerberg and his fucking team over there at suckbook. And, uh, and I applaud it, right? It's a devil, but it's a devil we got to live with and I applaud it. And I think that there is backlash about these types of communications and just how much the electronics in our life are controlling every bit of our life. I see that now that schools are banning phones, and I think that's a very wise idea. I see that people like Sarah and Catherine Smith have extraordinarily successful businesses.

They're getting bigger and bigger year by year because people are probably getting sick of the fucking apps. Yeah. I can imagine. Yeah. There's a loneliness problem in America, and I don't just think it's males. I think the males cause more trouble out there in the world, but I think the females are probably feeling it just as much as the men. Yeah, it's got to be hard out there.

I say, we're never going to get rid of these little computers in our pockets or the computers in our houses or the computers that sit on our walls called TVs. We're never going to get rid of those things. They've made life way too easy and we love them way too much. Our entertainment, they're how we get through the day and get through life. But if we can disassociate for a period of time and do some normal things that were done back when our parents were kids or when even when we were kids to some degree, I think that's a step in the right direction toward choosing health and self-awareness and self-preservation, rather than just continue to go down the rabbit hole.

Because I think we're seeing that societal problems have really emerged, big societal mental health problems, suicide of teens and people all around the world, just because of these little fucking devices and the apps that they have that make us all fucking miserable, yet we continue to scroll on them day after day. I'm number one. So, you know, this is a PSA. Hey, put down your phone! Stop listening to the commercial break.

Go outside! Yeah, we started this episode by saying I never go outside. Put on your AirPods, take us with you outside. I'm gonna go outside. That's what I'm gonna do. Well, you've got to, to go back to the shed. Oh yeah, I gotta go back to the shed and kill the rest of those damn hornets.

Unbelievable. Ah, yes. Yeah. Oh, look at that. The teamsters will not endorse anybody in 2024. Okay. Good for you. Taking a stand.

Yeah. Taking a stand by making those well that's the right you know whatever okay cool my brother's a teamster is he oh yeah he is one of my brothers is a teamster that's right he works in the business yeah he works for a Johnny two foot Johnny two feet are you talking about your brother that works in the film? He works in the film industry. Yeah, a lot of those guys are teamsters. Yeah, he knows where Hoffa is buried.

Unlike Geraldo or what was that? Geraldo, he knew where Capone's vault was. My grandfather once told my grandma one time he knew where Hoffa was buried, but I think he was joking. Don't come knocking on my door, FBI. FBI. I think he was being serious. He went a little nutty there. I think. All right. Two one two four three three three TCB. That's two one two four three three three eight two two questions, comments, concerns, content ideas we would love to hear from you. Please text us please or leave us a voicemail either

way. If you're going to be at the Dania improv show on the 24th of the Orlando show on the 25th let us know we'd love to make sure we say hello to you TCB podcast com all the audio all the video right there one location you can also send us an email or get your free brand new TCB stickers hot off the presses I saw them today they're in there's two of them so if you're nice enough in your email, ask for it or whoever else is sending them out. I haven't even seen them. Oh, you haven't seen them?

I thought you saw them. They were right there at the front door. Oh, okay. I'll show them to you during the break. Get your free sticker by hitting the contact us button. Drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Send us your address and then we'll send it off to you.

Add the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on TikTok and youtube.com slash the commercial break. All right. Hey, hey, hey, hey listen, a reminder, we pay our bills through the sponsors. If you hear something that you like, go there, tell them TCB sent you. Use our specialized URLs or codes to get fantastic discounts of free shit. And, uh, we'll make another episode for you. All right. That's a deal. That's a deal.

All right, Chrissy, that's all I can do for today. Brian can pay for blue vet bills. Another day. I love you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe until next time. Chrissy and I always say we do say and we must say goodbye. Why are you so radical?