The Commercial Break - The Beanie Break

Episode Date: May 3, 2024

It’s a video breakdown Friday, so prepare to get yelled at by Bryan, the guy in the video, and the voices in your head! Mouth kissing (young people are not okay with this -Christina) If you would come to a show in central florida, let us know! Collectibles worth nothing Beanie Babies Mountain monsters meets Beanie Babies The net! The $400 Maple Bear Cash in that 401k So much yelling! How many people are still stuck with their beanie babies Snort, Spike, Spinner, Spunky, & Stinky Bryan & Krissy eat crow! The Beanie Break We are flabbergasted LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  Download & Listen on the Audacy app To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone You know, mayonnaise tastes a whole lot better when there's no nagging rats in your ear telling you how disgusting it is I don't care. I'll eat mayonnaise off anything. I'll eat mayonnaise. I'll eat mayonnaise off your dad On this episode of the commercial break What are you gonna do? When cockatoo comes down on you. Are you gonna be in on this? You're gonna be out on this? We're gonna give you all 40,000 baby babies for nothing When cockatoo comes down on you! Are you going to be in on this? You're going to be out on this? We're going to give you all 40,000 beanie babies for nothing! I'm broke as a joke!

Pay my gas bill and you can have all these right now! Unbelievable! The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now! Yeah, boy! Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break starts now. Yeah, boy! Oh yeah, Kath and kittens, welcome back to the Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is the CEO of this podcast, if you're looking for money, Kristin Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristin.

Best to you, Brian, and don't call me. Bill Collectors. No, we don't have your phone number on the Bill Collectors. But this phone, however, wow, a lot of people ringing me lately. All right. Yeah. All right. Thanks for joining us. Here we are. Another best view out there in the podcast universe. If I forgot to say it, if I did say it, then that's just part of the show. Brian constantly fucking it up. Um, how do you feel about mouth kissing friends? I do it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, there's a big debate that's

been going on in my house for a long time about mouth kissing friends. Yeah. And there's a big debate that's been going on amongst other friends about mouth kissing friends. Some people say it's appropriate and nice and you know it's just a kind gesture to someone that you know and that you love. Yeah. Other people say it's not the right thing to do. You shouldn't be mouth kissing anybody except for your loved ones. to do. You shouldn't be mouth kissing anybody except for your loved ones. Why do you take the stance that mouth kissing

is the appropriate way to address friends? Well, it's not with everybody. Oh, sure. Yeah, but yeah, ones that I love. I do a mouth kiss if they're comfortable with it and I think they are. Sure, I think most people are comfortable with my mouth kissing.

Because I- Lip to lip, no tongue. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, you could go that route, but that just makes for a weird dinner. You know what I'm saying? Hey Rachel. Open mouth.

Quick kiss. Yeah. Well, here's where I think the drama comes in. They're not like best friend to best friend, right? Okay. I understand that. I agree with that. Where it gets a little shady, I think, is when it's like randos that you kind of know and they go in for the mouth kissing. This happens a lot in the- Oh, well, you just turn the cheek. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I do. Yeah. Yeah. Because I do think there's... Here's what got me started on all this. I read somewhere

that David Beckham does not ever, ever put his arm around another woman. Not for photographs, not famous people, not nothing. And if you look through his recent birthday photographs, you'll see that at least most of those pictures, it's clear he is not putting his arm around anybody. And his reasoning why sounded pretty pure and I thought it was thoughtful, which is that kind of affection is reserved for my wife, right? I want her to know and my kids to know that she's the only one in the world that gets that kind of attention. Well, then I assume that David Beckham is not a mouth kisser, right? I'm just going to throw that out there. He's not a mouth kisser of friends. So, this got me thinking about this debate that has been raging. Some people in my family, I guess it might be more of an American

thing and not necessarily a Venezuelan thing. So, some, and I'm not saying Astrid, but some people in my family say that they think it's wholly inappropriate, right? I don't think so. I think that when you're, you know, I think so on some occasions. And here's what I mean. There's a group of friends that we travel in, right? Nice enough people. They're lovely human beings. I just love all of them to death. When I see them and when I see them is usually once a year at most, you know? Right. Okay. So, we're traveling in this group of people and it seems like the mouth kiss has become the de facto greeting for everybody who ever knew anybody for any reason whatsoever. And I don't think that is appropriate. You don't know me. I don't know you. You've been in the woods for many months now. You're coming out to brush your teeth and take a

shower right now. And I'm not sure that the mouth kiss is where I want to go with it. Yeah. Right? So, I tend to do like the kind of tap hug, you know, I want heart hugs are great, but I'm starting to reserve heart hugs also for people that I know that well enough to give a heart hug to. And you know, if best friends go in for a mouth kiss every once in a while, I don't get upset about it. It's not, I don't get upset about it. But I do understand why it can be unnerving sometimes. Because when I travel in this group of people, when I show up that once a year for the random party

or birthday or whatever it is, and everybody goes in for a mouth kiss, boys, girls, everybody goes in for a mouth kiss, I feel like we just got finished with COVID, where we were all pretty clear at one point, even handshaking was gonna be outlawed, right? And now you're going in for the mouth kisses I would appreciate no unless you know me well enough and and we've spent enough time together that a mouth kiss is appropriate

Because it really does feel a little strange when there's like a guy that you met one time in 2006 at a party in the woods tripping high on ayahuasca and fucking, you know, jelly rolling or whatever we were doing and then you see him again 15 years later and he's like No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no leave your lips somewhere else I don't know where those lips have been. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know where those lips have been and I don't think we're comfortable enough to be doing the lip kissing Yeah, no, I mean my lip kissing is reserved for family, really only, and then close, very, very close friends

that are like family. Close, close friends, yes. I don't disagree with that approach. What I disagree with is the casual kissing of the mouth that goes on in some circles that we may or may not run it. Do you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm going with this. I do. Well, let them mouth kiss all they want. I see it all the time.

We're all... And I'm like, oh, God damn. I went to a thing months ago. I went to a thing and this guy, he's just running around mouth kissing everybody. You know, I know you know him. I know you know what I'm talking about. Mouth kiss here, mouth kiss there, there mouth kiss, here mouth kiss. Everywhere a mouth kiss. You know, snuggling into necks, licking ears, you know, the whole nine yards.

It's like, it's really weird and strange. And I'm just watching the, I'm watching him work the room like this. And I'm thinking to myself, does anybody else not see him kissing everybody else? As if, as if we need more germs spread around, he's kissing everybody. It's not only the germ thing. That, like, if handshaking was giving us COVID, what is mouth kissing doing? It's giving us something much worse. I know it is. Like, bird flu is transmuting to humans because someone's out there mouth kissing their best friend chicken. You know what I'm saying?

And so, what I have to say about this, what I'd like to share to the audience is if you meet me and, you know... Does this need to go in the treaty? I don't know. Yeah, it does need to go in the treaty. Yeah. Mouth kissing is not something I'm down for with relative strangers. Now I don't mean relatives that are strangers. I mean relative strangers. Like, if you're a relative stranger, don't approach me with a mouth kiss. I think we have had to have been in the trenches for some time together through good and bad, thick and thin, spent nights opining about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness in order to get to that stage where I think I would be comfortable in some small way having like a peck on the mouth because we're saying hello.

But if I just know you because we threw up in the woods of South Carolina together one time, that doesn't necessarily mean I wanna share saliva. Do you know? I agree. I'm with you on that. There's lots of ex-girlfriends that I, I mean, I shouldn't, but I wouldn't,

mouth can't say anymore to you. That's just the thing. Plus, I always feel like there's a level of drug abuse that goes along with that mouth kissing. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, clearly, someone's been in the bathroom, you know, doing key bumps. That just became a thing. I don't even mouth kiss my own children.

But I see it all the time on Instagram and I wonder, wow, that's a little weird. This is a video going around. It's an international snooker tournament, okay? In London. Snooker. Snooker. Pool. Snooker tournament. Oh, right, right. Okay. So, there's a snooker championship, which is big over there, snooker and darts. It's big over in England. And so, the BBC or somebody is carrying this live, and they're doing an interview with

one of the, I guess, people that won. But what's getting attention is in the background, there seems to be a father, like right up behind a boy that I would say is like 11, 12 years old. And he like wraps around the kid's face. Like imagine he's right behind him, right over his shoulder. He wraps around, he gives the kid kind of a peck on the cheek. And then he gives the kid like a little peck on the neck. And then he bites his ear in this weird sexual way.

And people are all up in arms about this. They like called the police and said, find this kid and find this person. Call the police. Well, I'm not sure everybody felt comfortable that this was a father, right? I think some people thought this was just somebody had been kidnapped or something. Abiding of the ear is a little strange, but hey, maybe that's what they do in their family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I see that as wholly, wholly inappropriate. You shouldn't be licking on your kids' ear,

right? That's not like a, that's not the kind of affection I would give my children anyway. I don't think that's appropriate at all. But then I see a lot of parents, and I know that mouth kissing is like, it can be an affection thing, like you're showing your love for your child. I get it. I'm not completely disagreeing with mouth kissing. I just don't do it. It's just not my thing. It's our, it's our Aster and I's general rule. Let's not mouth kiss the children because, you know. Nicole Soule- Well, they're, yeah, they're sick a lot too. Jared Sonski Yeah, they're sick a lot and are we showing them the wrong kind of affection that they should be sharing with other people? Like, are they going to think it's okay coming from someone else because then we do it?

And it just seems a little strange. Like the only people I've mouth kissed in my life are people that I want to bed or best friends, right? And so I don't think I need to share that with my kids because obviously that's a weird and wrong thing to do. So when you see me that once every decade, I would just appreciate it if you would put the mouth kissing away just for me, right? You want a heart hug? Let's ask. Let's talk about that before. Let's negotiate how that's going to go

down, how long it's going to last for, you know, what's off limits and on limits. You know what I'm saying? I would like to have, you know, just a little consensual heart hugging or mouth kissing conversation before we do it if you're someone that I don't know on a regular basis. And that's all I got to share. How do you bring that up? How do you bring that up? Don't kiss me on the mouth. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! You know what I've said before? There was like this party that we went to. I don't

think you were there, but this is a party that we went to. And there is, there was this one woman who had denoted to other people in the group, because I heard it, that she thought that, you know, I was cute and attractive and all this, oh, you should, and the truth was no, no, no, no, no. Under no circumstances would I have ever dated this woman. Not because she was ugly or anything like that, she's a fine, fine person. But because she was way in outer space. I mean, like super duper outer space. Yeah. She lived in like a goat farm.

But when I say she lived on a goat farm, she like lived in the barn with the goats. Yeah. Do you know? She was like, I don't know, breastfeeding them or something. There's some weird shit going on, but it was way out there for me. And she's like, you know, dancing around and one of my friends comes over, hey, just take a look at this, this, this, and I, uh, whatever, you know, fine. And as soon as she spotted me, she cut a rug right through the crowd of people and was heading

toward me with those lips pursed like, Kirsten Kuhlman, The Cupid's Guide to the World Come to mama. And do you know what I did? I literally turned around. Like I was standing at a bar and I literally turned and faced to the bar and started drinking real fast. And she like gave me this like weird side hug

and she was trying to kiss my mouth. And I was like, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, good to see you. Hey, yeah, good to see you too. Great to see you. Listen, remember that time I gave you my phone number? It's changed. And before the end of this night, I'm going to give you the new phone. Can't remember it now, but I'm going to give it to you. So why don't you do me a favor? Open up that phone. Let me see that contact. Oh, yep, delete, block. You don't want to call that phone number anymore. Let me give you the real phone number when I figure out what that real phone number is.

Right. Well, just like the commercial break, it could have changed quite a bit. We've had seven phone numbers now, mainly because of the mouth kissing is the reason why I had to change the phone number. Lots of people were like, are you up for a mouth kiss? I can meet you if you're up for a mouth kiss. Hey, I wanted to share something, and I think this will be interesting to the audience. Chrissy and I are considering, considering doing some live shows toward the late middle part of the year, like early fall sometime. Chrissy and I are considering doing live shows, and we're considering starting in the state of Florida because it's close.

I can drive there, we can fly there, and because Florida seems like the natural place where all the crazy people listen to the commercial break might be. You know what I'm saying? That's our kind of time. That's our kind of people. Exactly. Yeah, why not? And so, I just wanted to share that with the audience because I'd like to know, if we come to Florida, if you're listening in Florida, if we come to Florida, or if you're in one of the close states, I mean, Illinois is not that far of a drive. I mean, if you're in Chicago, it's what,

a 17, 18 hour drive? You can make your way down there, $500 plane ticket. Come on, we won't reimburse you, but somebody might, do it for research for your work or whatever. But if we were to- Go to a conference. Yeah, if we were to do Central Florida or Southern Florida, Southeast, Southwest Florida dates, would you show up? I'd just like to take a poll of the audience. So if you could take the

time out of your day today and just send us a text message and let us know if you would be interested in seeing us in Florida specifically, because I think that's where we're gonna, that's where like, you know, it's like D- That's where it's been floated. Yeah, it's D-Day. We're landing on Normandy in Florida the shores. Yes Rhonda Santas is our special guest Without platform shoes, I'm gonna make them wear socks But if you're in Florida and you think that's something that you might be interested in doing we would love to hear from you Because quite frankly, I don't want to start selling tickets if I don't think anybody's going to show It's kind of a scary adventure, huh?

It is. Sometimes you gotta take chances. Yeah, we've never had anybody pay. I mean, we have guests in here, but we're terrified when we show up. So what are we going to do when we're out there? No, actually, I think it's going to be a lot of fun. I think so too. I think we should spread our wings and fly. I've been thinking about a lot of good ideas, and here's one I came up with. You ready? I'll let the audience... By the way, these will not be episodes of the commercial break.

It will be a live stage show. And we're not going to air these or anything like that. So you got to show up to the show if you want to see it. But one of the ideas that I had was blackout drunk, forget to actually show up. That's an option. Or show up and nothing works. Like the equipment doesn't work, the lighting's all wonky. Brian's wearing no pants.

What do you think? You like the idea? I think it's a good start. I think we might need to tweak some things, but I think it's a good start. Which part? Blackout drunk or Brian with no pants? All of it, yeah.

Okay, well, what if I just forget to show up, but I'm wearing no pants when I'm still at the hotel? We'll talk about it. Okay, that sounds good. And listen, this is going to be an early show because Brian goes to bed at nine o'clock, so don't be thinking you're going to be doing the midnight showing of the commercial break. Anyway, dates in Florida. Would you come? Would you be interested in coming? We'd love to know. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-8238, 212-433-3822. Ah! K.L., you confused everybody.

There's too many threes in there. I don't know why I thought that was a good idea. Look at all those threes. It'll be easy to remember. It's not. It's hard. Anyway, text us, let us know if you'd be interested in coming. We're going to be back. Today is Friday, and so that means you're going to get a video today, a video breakdown with Chrissy and I reviewing some 90s nostalgia and understanding how to value that 90s nostalgia. I like it. And how excited people got over some real crazy bullshit in the 90s, 80s and 90s. All right, we'll be back. Well, thank the baby Jesus. Brian took a breath and now I will use this

opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right, it's 212-433-3TCD. And you can text us anytime you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail and we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com.

Now I'm gonna thank G one more time that we have sponsors. So thank G and here they are. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I'm going to share that I've been going through a difficult time lately with one of my family members. No trauma, no huge drama, just a difficult situation that I'm trying to navigate. It's times like these when I'm grateful I've got a therapist that I can speak with. Therapy for me is the release valve.

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I'm super excited to be talking about an old friend of mine, Jordan Harbinger, and his podcast, The Jordan Harbinger Show. You know that Chrissy and I don't do a lot of talking about other podcasts friend of mine, Jordan Harbinger, and his podcast, The Jordan Harbinger Show. You know that Chrissy and I don't do a lot of talking about other podcasts, but The Jordan Harbinger Show definitely deserves a mention, and here's why. Imagine the serious version of the commercial break, where you actually learn facts from actual experts and in-depth interviews.

All the crazy, interesting, weird, and philosophical stuff that we find on the commercial break to have fun with. Jordan takes some of those same topics and he applies a degree of serious journalism to it. And he is an excellent interviewer, maybe one of the best in the business in my opinion. We know for a fact that a lot of people who listen to the commercial break also listen to the Jordan Harbinger show. So if you haven't yet taken a listen, go search the Jordan Harbinger podcast on Apple or wherever you get your podcasts, or head over to his website, JordanHarbinger.com. That's H-A-R-B as in boy, I-N as in Nancy, G-E-R.

Jordan has been a long time supporter of the show and many people have written in and thanked me for turning them on to Jordan Harbinger, including one of our staff members who is like a Jordan Harbinger, including one of our staff members who is like a Jordan Harbinger superfan. And to quote her, Jordan Harbinger is like the commercial break with actual facts and a lot less laughing. We think you're going to love the Jordan Harbinger show. So go search on Apple, wherever you find your podcasts or get started with those starter packs at Jordan Harbinger.com. And we want to thank Jordan for being a supporter of the commercial break.

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you pick up a language naturally, first with words, then phrases, then sentences. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for Well, on the break, I just saw the most interesting video. It is a guy who is milking semen from a moth. What? I don't know. I don't know. It was on Instagram, literally. A guy milking semen from a moth because that's what you got to do when you're trying to grow extra moths. Who needs moths? Why are you growing moths? What's up with that? What a weird profession

to be in, huh? I'm a moth milker. That's what I do. I whack them off. I whack off their little dinkies. Your feed is very different than mine. My feed is insane. And Instagram knows me so well now that it shows me literal random videos from people, like videos that have like one view or two view. And it's really strange people doing really strange things and it's not hard to understand why they have so few views. But I mean, it is strange.

There's like this guy and he's talking about a doll and where he wants the doll to fart. It's like, and there's so many strange things. I heard you listening to that. I was like, what is happening? Well, don't ask me either. I don't know. Moth milking. Moth milking.

Moth milking. Back in the day, in the 90s, when we were kids, there was a lot of craze around memorabilia and collectibles. It's still here today, it just takes on forms. It's always been around. People were collecting tulips at one point. It goes around, I collected Dick Tracy stuff. Now I'm currently on Pearl Jam posters that are completely worthless because they

made one million of them and no one needs them. There's lots of stuff. And if you're into something and you collect it- Stamps, baseball cards, the classics. I tried to collect baseball cards. I got really into it for like a year of my life. I was, I don't know, 10 or 11 years old. I didn't know the first fucking thing about baseball, but I was always buying those baseball cards, hoping that I would get like a Mickey Mantle rookie, but I didn't understand baseball card collecting in any way, shape, or form.

So I should have known that buying brand new Topps cards was not going to yield a Mickey Mantle rookie. And then I would buy the Beckham books that had the like pricing guide on them. And I was so excited when anything was over $1.50. I'd be like, look, this card's worth $6.87. You want to buy it? No one wanted to buy it. No one wanted to trade. They all had the same cards. I was so excited when anything was over a dollar fifty. I'd be like, look, this card's worth six dollars and eighty seven cents You want to buy it? No one wanted to buy it. No one wanted to trade

They all had the same cards And so I just gave up then my grandpa tried to get me into stamp collecting and coin collecting and I just gave up I was like, I don't see how this is gonna make me rich immediately, which is what I need So then I just convinced my dad to buy get rich real estate seminars He let me do it once That's where Brian's brain was headed. I was like, how's this going to make me any money? Meanwhile, there's probably a Michael Jordan rookie card somewhere in that stack that I had. Do you still have them?

No, God, no. I threw them away. Yeah. I either threw them away or my mom threw them away. My mom got mad at me one time and threw all my collectibles away. She was like, your closet's a fucking mess. You gotta get rid of all this shit. What is this, baseball cards and Dick Tracy and Batman posters? I don't even know what's going on. Like, Mom, they're gonna be worth something someday. No, they're not.

Yeah, okay, I'll take your telephone or your collectibles. And I was like, take the collectibles. Who gives a shit? I wanna talk to chicks on the phone. I wanna call 1-900-NUMBERS-MOM. But back in the day, there was something called a beanie baby. They're still around today. Some of them are still collectible today.

Some of them are worth a lot of money. I guess that's what people say, I don't know. I mean, I've never had a beanie baby in my life. Maybe, randomly. I think we had some when I was younger, but yeah. I feel like at Clear Channel, there were some people who had beanie babiesies on their desk. They did. Like as if they were going to turn into it. Some people put them in the back of their cars. Yeah, so weird. So, but hey, listen, there's a lot of weird stuff to collect,

and I'm not here to bash on anybody, but at one point, Beanie Babies were a fucking craze. They were insane. People were insane over them. They beat each other up at storefronts and selling fake Beanie Babies. It just got crazy. There was whole television shows dedicated to Beanie Baby. What I found online, there are little bits and pieces of this that are running around social media right now,

but I found most of the video, is that even the home shopping networks would get in on the craze. They were selling like packs of beanie babies that supposedly you could collect and they would make money. The moral of the story, kids, is that most beanie babies today are not even worth the cotton that's inside of them or the beans that are inside of them because that's always the way it was going to be. There's too many of them. Everybody made them. There's not enough people that are interested in collecting beanie babies

anymore. Only a few really rare ones, I think, are worth a lot of money. Now, I could be wrong. I'll probably get a Beanie Baby collector texting us telling us how much their collection is worth. But we've actually watched a video about a guy who opened up a Beanie Baby store and he like went bankrupt because he had 30 million Beanie Babies that he couldn't get rid of. He was part of the Brian method, which was buy high, sell low.

That's right, and he still hasn't sold them. He's like, the video was really sad because he's divorced, his kids don't talk to him, and he's like sitting in an old rickety house with a bunch of beanie babies around him. But listen, anybody can get caught up in this kind of shit. Trust me, it's not that hard to do. But what I would like to do today is review one of the home shopping networks

Beanie babies coverage or one of their segments with a guy who's really excited about selling beanie babies. You want to go? Yeah, let's do it. So without further ado, I was trolling on the internet as you do as I do like to do and Here's home shopping network. I think this is from 93, and we've got one very excited salesperson. One very excited salesperson. Let's take a listen. I don't know how to begin on this, and I'm just going to tell you right now, I think the best Beanie Adam ever, and we go to breakfast. Especially, I mean, we're going to put we're going to put this up and once you realize what all is in it, we're putting on music, Robert and Aragorn for us tonight.

I literally have a man-sized Beanie Baby boner over what we've got in store. These things literally sell themselves. If you don't get in on the ground floor of the Beanie Baby action, you're going to be behind. Sell your house, remortgage the children, get you some Beanie Babies, buy them right now. By the way, look at this set. It's-

Is that a pile? Yeah, he's got 150 Beanie Babies. Doesn't matter. When something's that good and literally sells itself, that's how hot this is. I'm gonna tell ya, it's SF808. I'm gonna tell ya. He's like putting his head in his hands.

I know, he is drunk and high as a kite. Oh, you had to be to be on these shows. Japanese foot massager, butterfly sweaters, Christmas pajamas, we have things, some things just sell themselves, guys. People get addicted to this shop at home, this home shopping network shit. They will literally buy anything that's on there.

How do I know that? Because my mom is one of them. For SF 8084, this deal is so good that I can hardly wait to read the net tomorrow to hear what people have to say about it. Read the net, the internet. Ah, the net. He can't wait to get on the net. That's how old this video is.

This guy is drunk. I mean, he's drunk. He looks drunk. Did. Folks, we have literally, there are 28 beanie babies in here. When you consider retirement, they can literally pay for everything right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

That's your retirement. Cash in your 401k kids. There's a new man in charge. With what's happening with the retired price? 94 piece jumbo beanie set. $1,999.95. $2,000. Holy shit. That is an insane amount of money to spend on Beanie Babies. 94 different Beanie Babies! 94 different Beanie Babies! It's about to stroke out. God damn right, Chrissy! Never before have I been so excited about a baby related beanie partner. I'm going to tell you right now, I'm going to take a couple minutes off and I'm just going to let it sell and sell. $2000.

Bitcoin, beanie babies. Bitcoin. We'll put with 14 new releases and with 28 retired. Or we can just put with 20. with 14 new releases and with 28 retired. Or we could just put with 20. What happened to the music? It was like they're playing it on a record player in the background, someone just hit it. Eight, eight, retired.

Since the new releases are really no longer new releases. So that means here's what you got. And we're gonna do something special, is this it? Right there. We're gonna give you the $400 maple bear free in this package, look at that. No way! The $400 maple bear?

That's right, well rub my scrundle sack and call me Ethel. This is insane, $400 for free? It's only $1,999 and we're gonna give you the, what, the Bethel bear for free! It's only $1,999 and we're going to give you the what? The Bethel Bear for free? Maple. Oh, the Maple Bear, the Canadian Bear. Yeah. We're going to give you the $400 Maple Bear free.

So basically, I want you to understand some folks, we're going to go through everything you're going to get. You are going to get guaranteed, you know now we're gonna give you princess and Aaron I see glory glory's in here wait wait I see glory this is insane crazy people were about these I know and again we haven't even gotten started yet folks so you gotta understand what I'm getting ready to tell you. And they're already selling. I've got an entire eight ball sitting in my pocket. We aren't going off air until it's all done.

The problem, are you ready for this, folks? Now here's the problem. Number one, we only have a few of these. That, I can, rest assured, I'm looking at it right here. Rest assured. Rest assured. Nothing says trust me like a guy high on cocaine and Budweiser. Yeah, rest assured.

Am I reading this right? We have 32? That's right. Folks, we're gonna double check on that. We may only have 32 of these. These guys are the worst pitchmen in the history of home shopping network. They only have 32 of them. That's $64,000 those guys are the worst pitchmen in the history of Home Shopping Network. They only have 32 of them. That's $64,000 those guys are about to make. It's insane.

No, $640,000. Let me do the math real quick. What am I thinking? $68,000. Yeah, they're right. The retirement is coming up either September 1st or October 1st. We've been hearing rumors of all the way around the board. Who are you hearing those rumors from?

Who exactly? From around the board. Was there a TMZ on the net for Beanie Babies? There was. They're going to retire them around the board. He's going to retire every single thing that retires, the only one that wouldn't retire would be, the only thing, one Beanie Baby that's not in here. And it currently has a hole in its bum.

It's behind stage, a little slippery. I have been fucking these Beanie Babies for months and I'm telling you what, Old Glory and Canada Bear, they're the best. They're retired at Britannia and it is not going to be retired. It's a current Beanie Baby from this year and it's $1,000 by itself and it's not going to be retired. So here's the deal. Oh great, nothing makes the prices rise, like making more of them.

You ready? You are going to get every single current American Beanie Baby release. That's 65... You're up to speed. Right there, like that. 65... This guy. Quick, get up to speed with the Beanie Babies.

It's cool, it's just like to jump in and be like, up to speed, just like that. Meanwhile, there's some grandma at home. Oh yeah. Hello, this is Judy from Toronto and I need to get up to speed. Just like that. I wasn't into Beanie Babies until this incredibly coked up man came on TV and started yelling at me, it's my new retirement.

I cashed in my 401K and now I'd like to buy all 32 of them. I think they probably sold 32. Yeah. Current Beanie Babies, actually that's wrong. We're gonna throw in the maple that was only released in Canada. That's a $400 beady bag. We already talked about it.

He loves that maple. He loves that maple. He's looking at it sideways. He's like, can I mouth kiss you in a friendly way? By itself, we sell them out at $399.95. By itself, right now, we are going to give you this one. Are you ready for this? That's 66 current Beanie Babies,

including Maple Princess Erin Peace. Why is he so excited? Oh, they're yelling. Oh my God. And there's another channel that does this too, currently, it's that Cutlery Corner. Oh, Cutlery Corner's crazy. It's so crazy.

They sold knives. Yeah, I've seen Instagram posts of people just going crazy over Cutlery Corner. Yeah. Glory, glory, glory, glory, glory-o. It's so excited, I love it. Every currently fortune, Rocket the Blue J, all the 14 new releases, all the 14,

why is the owl with you knows gonna be retired, but anyway, Drake the Ducks, what is it? Stinger the Scorpion, Anne-Sue? I'm impressed that he knows all these. I am too. Like as he's just looking at them. This guy reeks of desperation. He's got 32, let's see, he's got about 32,000 beanie babies

he needs to get rid of. Quick. Yeah. Early the Robin, Cuckoo the Cuckoo too, Whisper the Deer, Curse Master. He should have his own. Yeah, he should. Whisper the Deer, Curse Master, The Bastid Hand, The Golden Retriever, all the 14 new releases, Jabber the Parrot, plus every current Beanie Baby that there is in America, every single current Beanie Baby in America. And then, here's the part that is unreal.

Folks, here's another, we're gonna pay for this in two. Uh oh. Unreal. Here comes the drop. The 65 merch drop. Current. And when you put in Maple, 66 current, you're over it. Maple, we're gonna give you all 28 of a May retired Beanie Babies. He's like a WWE announcer. 66 current you're over it maple Announce her

When cockle the cockatoo comes down on you are you gonna be another you're gonna be out of this we're gonna give you Oh 40,000 baby babies for nothing. I'm broke as a joke Pay my gas bill and you can have all these right now! Unbelievable! Is that right? Originally, we sold it out one time at $5.99. Today, we would have to sell 28 May retires for around $1,699. God, the money in these things was crazy at one point. Unbelievable! They are literally shitty little stuffed animals with beans that can kill your child in the middle of them. Even Blue agrees. It's not fun. It's not funny.

We sold it on almost everybody. We sold it at $600, though, didn't we? The first time we did. The first time we did it. We sold them out at $600. We could sell one billion of them at $600. You said maple at $400. Maple at $600. We could sell one billion of them at $600. You said maple at $400. One billion! One billion! I was overestimating.

Even during the craze, how many people really wanted those Beanie Babies. One maple? By the way, maple is a bear that looks like every other Beanie Baby with a tiny little Canadian flag on its chest. 14 at $7.99. We sold the 14 new releases at $7.99. And the 28 retires at $5.99. You are getting... At $600. Everybody else... It's $5.99. That's $600. No, it's $5.99. Okay, that's 28 and 14 is $42, $43, $45, $6. You're getting almost 50 beanies absolutely free. Absolutely free. Absolutely free. 50 beanies. Absolutely're getting almost 50 Binnie's absolutely free. Absolutely free. Absolutely free. 50 Binnie's.

Absolutely free. Here's the thing. They're not absolutely free. You're paying $2,000 for them. Why do they keep on saying free? It's not free. You have to pay. 1999, 95.

This is how they get you. Grandma at home thinks, you know, oh my God, they're giving all these for free. I just have to pay the $2,000. I get all these for free. You break it down $21 and 27 cents. I'm ahead of you. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. I'm feeling ill. I can't believe we're giving these away at such a discount. It's incredible. All right, let's do this. Let's take a break and then we'll be back with more hot beanie baby action, including girth master, the new drop coming up soon. I know you're already on your phone.

So pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB? Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB.

And don't forget to check out tcdpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the commercial break. This ad for Fizz is only 25 seconds long, but we had to pay for 30. Those leftover 5 seconds shouldn't just disappear, right? It's kind of like what happens to your unused mobile data at the end of each month. Except at Fizz, your unused data from the end of the month rolls over, so you can use it the next month. Hey, you paid for it, so keep it.

Try the other side. Get started at phys.ca. If you need some time to think it over, here's five seconds. Certain conditions apply, details at phys.ca. All right, back with more beanie baby craziness. This is hard to believe that people would pay $2,000 for 90 of these little toys that you can buy for like $1.99 at any fucking gas station.

Think about this. Send them in. Think about this right now. $21 a piece. I want you to think about this. When you're thinking about your retirement down on the beach in a beautiful condo in Florida drinking titterine's all day long with your best friend smoking a cigar. What goes better with all those things than 94 beanie babies surrounding you in lawn chairs because you will not be able to sell them? I know I'm wondering thinking about how many people were

stuck with all these beanie babies thinking and they were going to keep going up in price and then all of a sudden the bubble burst. Everybody, everybody got stuck with their beanie babies when the 2000s rolled around because no one gave a shit. No one gave a shit in the first place. What happened was people got it in their heads that these things, the ones that they didn't make a lot of were all of a sudden going to be so, there was going to be such an insane market value in these things.

And there were for some people that actually sold them. I just read that there is a Beanie Baby, the Princess Diana Beanie Baby. Oh yeah, that one's the most rare. Yeah, it's still worth about 50 grand in pristine condition. Yeah. 50 grand. That's great. But guess what all of these are worth?

Shit, they're worth shit. You could buy 94 of these for 180 bucks. Just go to a gas station, buy the whole rack of them. You see them, they're spinning around, the kids like them, right? Just buy the rack, put it in the back of your car, and maybe someday they'll be worth something. You're getting 28 retired beanie babies.

Listen to this. Blue needs to be a be worth something. You're getting 28 retired beanie babies! Listen to this! Oh, what we got? Zip the cat! Oh, God, I wish Blue was a beanie baby. She'd be a lot less annoying. Zip the cat is now bringing over $100 and it just retired in May. Zip the cat over $100. You got Peanut the Elephant, Pinchers the lobster, one of the original nine. One of the original nine Pinchers. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You got Peanut the Elephant, Pinchers the Lobster, one of the original nine. Pinchers the Lobster. One of the original nine Pinchers. I mean, this grown man. Yeah.

I know. I was thinking about that too, how hard it must have been for him to get so excited about these. No. Either that or he is so invested because, you know, he might be the guy who's actually owns these things right? He's so invested He has to convince you to also get invested and buy them at a profit or he's gonna be stuck with him And this is how the craziness starts grandma turns on TV or whoever turns on TV sees this guy all excited about him

It says hey, it must be a good investment this guy's crazed over them floppy either ladybug, uh, uh, squealer, the pig, another one of the original nice squealer, the pig squealer. I wish I had a squealer. I think 70 and $80. In fact, almost all 28 of the retired bring a minimum of $50. Oh, they're running on the top. They're running a crawler.

The name of the beanie babies that are for sale. Smoochie, snip, snort, spike, snort. I think they accidentally put that one in there. I think snort is the host. I think that's what he does. Spike, spinner, spunky, stinky, spunky, spunky? Really? It's like a sperm-shaped baby minimum you want to save that one guy that's going to retire in here for sure

and I can't see him right now she talk at the moose he's the only one in there right nine it's still current here he is he's gone in all right I'll tell you something else to snort the bull gonna be gone snort the bull snort gonna be gone no more Snorts. Snort's out of the table. If you don't get your hands on a Snort right now, you are literally missing out on a chance to make millions, yay, billions of dollars. I know people right now, retired in Mexico because they bought Snort 30 years ago.

Take Snort to your bank. Tell them you need to take out a loan on Snort. Up to a million dollars of credit right there. That's what I'm saying to you. Anything they retire in October, you've got. You know what? We're forgetting. We're making moot points. It doesn't matter. They're going to do a retirement either September or October.

Rumor has it they're going to retire. I've heard this. That there's a possibility that something can happen September 1st with the Princess Bear. What is this guy doing with his life? He's literally trolling the quote unquote net to look for rumors about what's going to be retired. Because clearly once they're retired, then they shoot up millions of dollars in value, each one of them. And he knows it. He is, first of all, I think it's highly disingenuous to be speculating like this about what's going to happen. You

know what I'm saying? He's like artificially inflating the value right there live on TV. That's how you sell. Yeah, exactly. And second of all, what does it matter if they retire Snort the Bull? Is he really going to raise in value? They just said one of them retired nine months ago and he's up $100 in value. $100. I'm going to look it up. We're hearing that everywhere. Do you know if that retires? Yeah, let's see what snort the bull. You see what snort the bull and I'm going to see- You see maple. Okay. I'll see what maple. Maple, the beanie, baby, worth Worth value.

Holy shit. Are we wrong? Well, we are so eating crow right now. God damn, this guy was right. He was way right. Well, how much is Maple worth? There is one going on Etsy right now. Used, used. Are you ready for this? It's already been opened, but it comes back in the box. Mabel Worth. There is one going on Etsy right now. Used. Used.

Are you ready for this? It's already been opened, but it comes back in the box. So the box has been torn open, but they put it back in the box. It is being sold for $14,000. But that's not even the best of it. Oh, well listen to Snort. Tell me how much snort is worth. You're gonna freak out. No way 49,000 No, no no fucking way

Yeah, that's a rare one $50,000 yes, the other ones the other one is $18,200. I mean, I'm shocked. I will never make fun of this guy again. I'm shocked. Where is he? I need him to be my investment advisor. I need a good accountant.

What in the fuck? I can't even believe it. Chrissy, that maple in brand new condition is worth $30,000. $30,000. Let's see the other ones. There's some names up there. Squeaker. Let's see what squeaker is worth. Squeaker, the beanie, baby, No! No! No, no, no! $15,000 used! $15! Where are my Beanie Babies? The Original Nine! Those are the most valuable ones that he's talking about on there. Damn it, Brian. Oh my God.

Well, here we are making fun of it. Yeah, there's a phone number on the bottom. You think it's still live? You think I can still get in on the deal? Original nine Beanie Babies value. Oh my God. Princess the Bear is right up there. Valentino, I just saw that one. This was a good set to get.

That would have paid back itself just from one of them. Just one of them would have paid back eight times, 800X. Damn. 8X. I'm sorry, not 800X. 8X. Patty the Pilatipus, one of the original nine, used on Etsy right now, selling from a five star seller for $25,000. Now I sound like this guy. This is unbelievable.

Okay, that's it. This show is now called the Beanie Break. Anybody got any beanies they wanna sell? I'll take a commission. We can talk about them on air. This is insane. Now, let's see. Now, but the crazy thing is that the Walmart is selling

Snort their Bear for $8.49. However. But it's not an original. But yeah, the original, the one on Etsy from a five star seller again, it's $49,500. Oh my God, Chrissy. Because I guess there was some kind of error. Like it, this is on Etsy.

Oh my God. You want to know what the Dick Tracy collectible figurines are going for? What? $67 for all 14. Well, here's 195 for one particular one. Not the one you had. $300 for all of the cards, which I did have.

A vintage Dick Tr- Yeah, cards, which I did have a vintage dick tray. Yeah, see Here I was You know when I worked at McDonald's when they were giving away beanie babies and they were putting them into the McDonald's happy meals The beanie babies and I thought and people would go fucking crazy. Oh, yeah No, they would swore and be out there. Oh, there were just camping out with the rule Was you could not just buy a toy that was out of They changed that at some point, but with the beanie babies You could not just outright buy the toy you had to buy the happy meal the whole thing

there were grown-ass men and women who would come into that store and buy 20 hamburger happy meals and Literally throw away the box or not the box But anything that was inside of the box is grabbed and just grab the beanie baby That was it and I thought what a bunch of fucking losers now Yeah, meanwhile, I have a closet full of dick Tracy stuff worth a hundred and sixty five dollars total And one of these beanie babies is worth fifty thousand dollars. Yeah, what the fuck was I thinking? I am so bad at this like just I Just need to stay on the commercial break.

The keen sense of business acumen. I have no sense of business acumen. Everything I have done has literally turned to poo poo. And everything I haven't done has literally turned to gold. Altcoin, Bitcoin was the only thing that I got right. And then I got out when it dropped, because I said, that's it. I got out right before it dropped. And I was like, that's it. Never getting into it again. Clearly a scam.

And now it's higher than it ever was before. Had I stayed in, I would have been twice as rich. Unbelievable, Brian. You're an idiot. You're such an idiot. Maybe we ought to buy NFTs. Cause I have personally said for a long time, NFTs are very low.

Yeah. They're very low. Yeah. They're like I thought Beanie Babies were, you know, like a dollar. We should just go buying up large swaths. We should. You know, if we had any money. We should get someone to loan us money so we can buy a large swath of NFTs.

That's it, done deal. That bear alone will cover the price of everything. Well, he's correct. Yeah. Unbelievable. Will cover the price of everything. Well, he's correct. Unbelievable. Will cover the price of everything. August 31st, the day that we lost her, that's when this bear was literally born. That's right. So remember that. Literally born?

Okay, now you're taking it too far, bro. It's not born. It's sewed together in some shop in China. And I believe that's what's going to happen on the Princess Bear or they're going to make a whole new one. The Princess Bear, that's like one of the ones that's the very, very. The Princess Di-Bear specifically. Yeah.

Find out what- This one says Princess Bear. I thought I saw $50,000, but now I'm believing that it might be Princess Di-Beanie Baby Worth. Oh my God. 50,000 dollars used. 50 grand used. Well, now I don't feel so great about this video because now I feel like I'm trying to have fun

with something that clearly worked out in everybody's favor, including this guy. Yeah, he had to have gotten that. Just on his set right now, he's probably got a million dollars worth of Beanie Babies. He's got the original nine, he's got the princess, he's got the Canada one, each of which is worth tens of thousands of dollars. There's a hundred there. He's got to have million dollars worth of bears sitting on that table right now. Yeah. $21 apiece. Would you not pay $21 for every one of the new releases? Well, yes. Yes, I would send them to me Give them to me now 799 I know it 21 times trust 240. What's 21 time? Oh, man, $50. I mean we could have sold 250

We don't have enough we couldn't they don't make it up. They don't make it up who don't have enough. They don't make enough. They don't make enough. Maples, $400! Maples, $40,000, bro! Let me take you into the future. I would happily pay $400 for a maple right now. I am so in on baby babies. I'm going to start collecting immediately. Immediately. If you call right now, you're guaranteed the maple bear every time you order. You are guaranteed. Yeah, there's all these original ones that are really worth the money. Wow. Unbelievable. God damn were we wrong about this. So wrong about it. I saw the Princess Diwan and I saw that it was 50,000, but I also knew from other videos I had watched that it was the rare one, right?

The very rare one. I knew you were guaranteed 94 different Beanie Babies in the best part of it. He's correct, you could have retired. You could have retired. If you were 50 or 40 at the time when this came out and you kept these long enough, you would have a million dollars in your pocket right now. You would be able to retire and a nice retirement at

that. I don't have $10 in my retirement account. But if I only had Beanie Babies in my safe, because I'm sure I had some somewhere, not me specifically, but they were in the house somewhere. God damn, Brian, such an idiot, such a moron. This is going to make me go to sleep feeling even worse about myself, honestly. I need an extra therapy appointment after this episode. No matter what retires, you got it. You got it. It doesn't matter. At $21.00 a week.

Probably for two or three retirements you've got it. For the next three retirements, you have every single baby that retires, you have, look at it right there, Look at what just happened Someone just is verifying on five sets and you want to know something if you can afford it, but My god, so this guy spent ten thousand dollars and they're worth yeah five million dollars right now Find me that guy we need to buddy up to him because clearly he knows what the fuck is going on and we have no goddamn clue. This is insane. Can you believe it?

I cannot. I cannot believe it either. It is literally beyond my comprehension how some stuffed little pieces of cloth are worth $50,000 a piece, but I ain't arguing how you get your bag. And I'm really happy for anybody that has these can you please call Up and donate some to the commercial break because we would love to all of a sudden get into beanie baby collecting The beanie break will be back tomorrow with more information Well on Wednesday, but you get what I'm saying The thing about it is there was if you buy like say I spent

$50,000 on that one beanie baby that it's selling on Etsy then how I mean how would you resell like how you would just you would just want it for your own personal collection I don't know. My mind is blown. My mind is blown. Unbelievable. Crazy. All right go check out Leslie Lee. I'm just like beyond myself. I'm like in a different universe right now. I can't even think. I'm just thinking about all the opportunities I missed to grab Beanie Babies at McDonald's

and gas stations and everywhere around the world. I could have been rich. Rich, bitch. I'm rich, bitch. All right, thanks to Leslie Liao from coming on the show this week. Please, please, please check her out on her Netflix special go to Leslie owl calm if you want tickets to her current tour Give her some support show her some love She's all over the place like every guest that shows up on our show. She's gonna turn hot directly after she shows up on our show

and then next week a Very special episode is the commercial break as we drive into bachelor nation bachelor nation A very special episode is the commercial break as we drive into Bachelor Nation. Oooh. Bachelor Nation, Chrissy. Bachelor Nation. Bachelor Nation. You want to know why?

Why? Because I think... Oh, no, I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that right now. I'll say that at a different time. Next week we have a great guest too. I'm not going to say it quite yet. But just know that at some point we're venturing into bachelor nation you're gonna be really happy with who we chosen

eases into that's what i think that okay uh... i'd also like to get a tcd podcast dot com all the information is there the video the audio more about christy and i get your free tcd bumper sticker by going to the website at the contact us button drop down menu i want my free sticker give us your physical address and we'll send it right to you. 212-433-3TCB that's 212-433-3TCB. Dial us up, let us know if you want to go to the Florida shows, if you're interested in seeing some shows in Central and South Florida, we're thinking about it. We just want to know if you'd

be interested in coming. Also questions, comments, concerns, content ideas, and if you want to be on the show, dial us up, send us a text at the commercial break on Instagram, TCB podcast on Tik TOK and youtube.com slash the commercial break for all the interviews and selected episodes. All right, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you, Beanie. Best to you, Beanie Baby collectors out there. Until next time, Christy and I always say, we do say and we must say,

goodbye. Goodbye. I get ass.