The Commercial Break - The Crowd Goes WILD!

Episode Date: May 9, 2022

Marlon, Bryan's single friend is working his way to date # 10 with his sugar momma. The woman in question has promised a private flight and fancy hotels in Venice for the tenth date. The magic pheromo...ne "smell" is not there but Marlon is hanging on for the ride. However, he is learning the hard way that this woman may be a bit more demanding than he would like. Then the gang revisit one of their favorite matchmaking TV shows...The Love Connection! The contestant are getting frisky and the crown is going WILD! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us or leaving a voicemail at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Lululemon.com is for people who like comfort! Watch Us on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Audio Editing: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D** Huge Thanks To Our Supportive Listeners, Friends, Family & Spouses: Astrid & Jeff!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, so tell me about yourself. Sir, I am putting my screwdriver everywhere and seeing what is happening. I am a hidden scientist. Sir, during my spare time, I chart on girls on Facebook. Sir, I will have a pruty carrier in your steamy company. And I am putting my screwdriver everywhere and I will perform and reach the climax position. On this episode of the commercial break, I'm not sure how to be ages but I get it.
Starting point is 00:00:41 He's still a pretty young man like he's not you know and you know, and she's in her mid-late 60s. So there's like a... Oh, he knew that. He knows that. Yeah, but she's fucking... It sounds good at first. I mean, it's like when I was single. And I remember thinking, maybe I should date an older man. That has some money and like, you know, what are... And then...
Starting point is 00:00:59 And then you met Jeff. Would you like to do this? I've been watching some tantra videos on the internet archives. Nice. You don't even have to always talk about it when you're about to do it. It can be talked about at other times, like maybe watching a movie and something, and you're like, I like that. How do you want me to stroke your lotus petal?
Starting point is 00:01:20 I see. You know, kind of relaxed. We sat down on the love scene together. And I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo And I'm Brian Green, this is Christy Holy and best of you Christy. Best of you Brian and Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Stop it, stop it, stop it. You're gonna confuse everybody. All right, happy new year back to you. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on yet another episode of this
Starting point is 00:02:15 The Comer Show Break. Another one you ever need, Guaranteed. Welcome back. I have updates, updates, updates, galore. I'm so excited. I can't wait to tell you. We recently have been talking about my friend, Marlon, who is obviously a pseudonym, a pseudonym,
Starting point is 00:02:30 for a friend of mine who is single and ready to mingle. He's out on the streets, he's one of those guys. He's like, he's like a perpetually single human being because he's really bad at relationships. Right. Mainly because he cheats a lot. That doesn't always work out for the girl that he's with. Yeah. You know, but I love him and he's a friend with a dear friend of always work out for the girl that he's with. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:45 But I love him and he's a friend. Or a friend of his dear friend of mine. That matter? Yeah, really? Oh, there you go. I don't know what he's in, dude. He might be into that. You never know.
Starting point is 00:02:53 Maybe he's into swing. I don't know. Anyway. Maybe he should try it. He might work better for it. Maybe that would be his better lifestyle choice. Yeah, listen, he cannot seem to keep his dick in his pants no matter who he's with. Maybe he's just get with somebody who's okay with that.
Starting point is 00:03:07 There's plenty of groups out there. I know, that's what I told him. I said, dude, you got to get on these naked zoom parties. Yeah. So that was pandemic. Now it's real life. Yeah, now it's real life. I R L.
Starting point is 00:03:17 Yeah. Hey, who cheated? Who put that dick in my ass? Aliens. So Marlon joined a website. Hey, who cheated who put that dick in my ass? So Marlon joined a website called seeking arrangements and he found himself a nice sugar mama He got inundated with requests according to him We got inundated with requests and yeah, and one girl came on one lady came on really strong She was like really strong and said I I am the sugar mama for you.
Starting point is 00:03:46 I will take care of you. I've done this before. I know exactly what it takes to make you happy and you will not want for anything. If as long as you treat me the way that I want to be treated. He's learning a little bit more about what the way I want to be treated means. Yeah, I was gonna say the reason she's on this app
Starting point is 00:04:03 is because things haven't worked out in the past. Yeah,'s by he found out she's like a twice-deforesee This could be that's the charm you never know you never know with this guy He's he's just such a wild car like just be all-in full-in like this is who I am Also, maybe you could be into other girls Yes, and like maybe we well, I think he wants to bring a third girl into the bedroom because what he has found is is that that first night magic, that first date magic, that always happens with everybody. Yeah, that shine.
Starting point is 00:04:32 It wears off after a minute. Never. He, the second date went well. She was all diled up. She had some chef come into her house and her condo and I know. Third date, they just went on like a normal date. Hey, we're going to have a date. Outback. Yeah, we're gonna have a back. Yeah, yeah out back exactly
Starting point is 00:04:47 Chili's they had the blue man onion a long on the nice tea a couple long island ice teas Frasbury margarita or whatever the fuck they're serving over there these days Yeah, you have blue man onion and chili cheese shit yourself Yeah, you have blue man onion and chili cheese shit yourself Mushroom shit burger or whatever they're serving over there. It's love chiles by the way It's not what's for dinner get your baby back ribs at chiles 20% off when you mention the code word I did use to love this baby back ribs the baby back. Did you really never never was into him? Never was into him. Never was into him and I worked there
Starting point is 00:05:26 and I ate everything over there. But I will, okay. I haven't been to a Chili since so long. I know because like what do you, you know, think of Chili's in it. They used to just do a bunch of advertising. I noticed it's a malished one that was close to the other day. Yeah, I mean, why would you,
Starting point is 00:05:39 it's listen, Chili's like in on the decline for a long time. But that's how it works. It's like that fast casual restaurant concept that came on hot and heavy in the 90s. And it lasted right through the early 2000s, but then I think people were like, I'm getting the same mushroom shit burger everywhere that I go and it's really not very good.
Starting point is 00:05:57 But there was some good things at Chili's. There was. They had those cool pictures. We were, you sit the booth. Yeah. And I remember going on was really young too, and when you could smoke. When you were smoking in the restaurant, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:09 Not me, it was my grandmother and mom. Oh, okay. They were there, and they were smoking. Just as wonderful. And they were ordering margaritas. And, you know, I enjoyed looking at the pictures. They had this Texas chili cookoff. Yeah, the cookoff.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Yeah, and they had long horns, and they had all the sports memorabilia. You know, they made it interesting to be there and they had this kind of cat, they had this motif that almost never went out of style. It was like this weird text mech style. But now the last time I went to a Chili's was when Matthias was very young and we were driving down to Florida.
Starting point is 00:06:40 We saw a Chili's on new Chili's, brand new, just been built. We went there and they had these, instead of having servers, they had these little machines in front of the table. Oh yeah, yeah, that's right. And you just ordered through there and then you paid your bill and just someone came out and delivered your food.
Starting point is 00:06:53 It was so weird and impersonal. I didn't like it anyway. So they go on a normal date, I'm not sure chilies was the place they went but they go on a normal, I'm not sure this lady knows what a chili is. But they go on a date and she shows up a little less dolled up than she had been the last two nights.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Now, the first two dates, they did not get intimate. They made out a little bit, but they didn't get very intimate. Well, the third date, which just happened to come refresh off this, the third date and the fourth date has happened also. The third date, they get a little bit more hot and heavy. And he is not into it.
Starting point is 00:07:24 He's like, I'm just like something. I the smell, it's not there. You know that smell you get when you really like somebody? It's like, I don't know. It's like a hippy tip of chooly. It's like, it's just smells delicious and you want it? Yeah. Well, it's not that, right? Oh, no. And her, he says her real age kind of shows if she's not real dolled up now I'm not sure I'd be ages to but I get it. He's still a pretty young man Like he's not you know, and she's in her Mid-to-late 60s So they're like oh, he knew that he knows how yeah, but she's fucking
Starting point is 00:07:57 It sounds good at first. I mean it's like when I was single and I've ever thinking maybe I should date an older man That has some money and like you know what I'm in the now. And then you met Jeff. Well Jeff had that smell. Oh yeah. That's the smell. I love that smell. I love that smell too.
Starting point is 00:08:14 It's like a fair moon thing. It's a puppy or a baby. Yeah. He get enough of it. Yeah. Cocaine. It really is. It's so weird. It's true. I know. Rachel and I talk about this all the time. Yeah, cocaine. It really is. It's so weird how that's true. It is.
Starting point is 00:08:25 I don't know. Rachel and I talk about this all the time. Yeah, we talk about the smell. The thing that makes you want to devour something. Like you literally want to eat them. You wish you could chop them up and eat them. Well, the smell's not there. Not really.
Starting point is 00:08:37 Ah. But I do just like get in there and smell. I know. So, everybody knows what the smell is. It's that thing that attracts you to somebody. They're like the animal magnetism. You can't get away from you. You want to fuck them 24 hours a day.
Starting point is 00:08:51 So he says it's not there and I get it. If he's like, but you know, I'm willing to paper over that a little bit because the situation is kind of interesting, right? Of course it is. She's volunteering to fly you to Venice privately on the 10th date. So third date They make out and he just cut and she's very by the way commandy demanding she's like everything is her way
Starting point is 00:09:12 He wants her to kiss a certain way. She wants him to kiss a certain way She wants him to put his hands a certain place and she's moving and she like moves her hands around little too much I mean, there's yeah, there's one thing to like know what she wants But I'm still the age where I'm scared to put I mean, there's a lot of things around. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. I would be so turned out. Well, Jeff, I mean, I guess she have's already been on there. Jeff has been on the show. But he would he be here for any other reason besides music? No, of course not.
Starting point is 00:09:49 He doesn't even want us to show up to pick him up together because he's like, I'm afraid you guys are gonna put me on TV. TV, the TV moment. He guys is gonna be a TV moment. Is I'm like, no. What is going to pick you up from the airport? I'm saying, if anybody's gonna see it anyway,
Starting point is 00:10:04 what is he care? I think he thought it was like, I'm pranked, we're coming right in out with microphone. Yeah, I'm not fucking, what's his name? Just talk about it now. How was the private plan? I'm not Johnny Knoxville. What's the other guy's name?
Starting point is 00:10:16 I'm not, what was it guy? Steve O. No, not Steve O. The one who got a Bambar Shera, the one who got in all the kind of drug trouble was running around. He made a whole career out of fucking hurting his family, like physically damaging his family in that house.
Starting point is 00:10:30 But anyway, so he says, I'm not into it. I'm, you know, it's, it's not my thing. I'm not getting, like, there's no movement in my pants alone. Right? Scene, movement de Imitante, monos. Nothing is happening down there. So fourth date, she wants to do Netflix and chill. And he's feeling really nervous about this. Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de I, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de I, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de I, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de I, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, Pan de Imi, I don't know that's what you do. I'm just making a joke, but he did it. Yeah, he did it.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Okay. And so as per day's going through with this, he sees a payday here, and I think that's what, I mean, I don't know where to play with this. Yeah, I mean, don't you want to at least get to the 10th date and take that trip to Venice, but I told them I said, you know, Venice, you're not going to be able to get away from it. Like, the person, like, if you really, Venice, you're not going to be able to get away from it.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Like the person, like, if you really, like, I mean, what's he feeling personality wise, mental. He told me he had a really good time with her the first night. Like, he actually and honestly, when she sent him a Porsche, well, she sent him a Porsche, but I mean, take, yeah, that's exciting. Okay, take the Porsche out of it, okay? Svredal and VroomVroom. I know, he's probably just all hopped up on the thought that he might have just scored a millionaire
Starting point is 00:11:52 on that after working another day in his life, but he said, Bryant, honestly, I had a great time. Like you and I would go out and- That was the first. Yeah, but I can have fun with anybody. But then he even, like the second and the third, then the four. And then the fourth hour takes a
Starting point is 00:12:06 biagra now you got a chain on the on your leg. I know. Limp in torrents. Take your infant toward the finish line with some women's vagina. He gets to the forte. He goes over to this beautiful condo that she's got overlooking the water. Nords open, you know, cannd candle, whatever, you know, island candles. It sounds nice.
Starting point is 00:12:29 But if you're not, if you're scared of pussy, so she, as predicted, they are not 15 minutes into the show and she's crawling over to, you know, and she's telling you, maybe she's had the surgery, too, or she's not. The Yoni surgery? Or it's like, rejuvenation. Oh, I'll tighten, tighten up. Didn't ask that, but I will next time. I'll ask if there's a...
Starting point is 00:12:49 Does he know? Vagio plastic. Yeah, the Vagio plastic. He does know. Okay, I'll tell you how he knows, is because she crawls over, and within 15 minutes, she says she crawls over, and she's demanding what's going to happen.
Starting point is 00:13:03 You know, put your hand on my ass, smack my butt, grab pull my hair while they're making out, right? And then she starts pushing her head down toward her crotch. Oh my gosh. When she just got, like she has just like a, I think he said a robe or something. And she's like, and she's like, you're gonna, you.
Starting point is 00:13:20 My God, if somebody I ever had that tummy, I would be like, no. I know, but this is a guy, and he's thinking, he's gonna get a private flight to Venice. He's like, you're gonna. My God, if somebody I ever heard about, I'm like, no. I know, but this is a guy and he's thinking, he's gonna get a private flight to Venice. He's like, I mean, and he's just trying. He said, I'm trying my best. He's like, I'm licking around, I'm going up, I'm going down, I'm going to the side.
Starting point is 00:13:37 He's like, I'm trying to, because. How is the scenery? I think the scenery wasn't what he had expected it was going to be. Maybe it wasn't what he was used to. He likes to date very young women. Okay, well, that's a very young. He likes to date younger women.
Starting point is 00:13:52 So I think 20s, 30s. Yeah, but to me, to me, of a giant is a vagina, they're all pretty pretty, right? I like some all shapes and sizes. We talked about this. I don't give a shit about big boobs, small boobs. I like them all. But I think that it wasn't the He got big boobs, small boobs. I like them all. Yeah, but I think That it wasn't the let's put it this way. She didn't have the smell upstairs and she didn't
Starting point is 00:14:14 He was like Brian. It was a mess. It was a whole mess and I was doing my best just to get through it. Did she approve? She was demanding that that approved. But in the end, did she approve? No, no, he didn't go well. No. He didn't go well and she said so. She said, we're gonna have to sharpen up on. Williamson. It's, it's, she said, we're gonna have to sharpen up our
Starting point is 00:14:34 koodlinga skills, that's what she said. Oh, wow. She said, that's my favorite and I need to be with someone who knows how to do this. Oh, everybody's favorite, whatever, I mean. Yeah. But he can't tell some I just sharpen their skills like it's a classroom. Now he's a
Starting point is 00:14:50 little turned off. He's like, well, she's demanding commandy. I was nerve-wracking. It's very nerve-wracking. I got a performance. Right. Yeah. But if you don't want to put it anywhere at all, then you're out of the game. And so I said, well, what happened with the Viagra? And he said, absolutely nothing. And I said, you didn't get a boner through the whole interaction. He said, not, not even a.
Starting point is 00:15:11 I can't even imagine what happened if he didn't take it. Yeah, I, this guy is now stuck in a situation. He would have thought he was a woman. Did she touch too? I don't know if he's got an imi or an outie. I haven't talked to him about it yet. But there are growers and there are showers and then there's just ones that are, you know, no, no,
Starting point is 00:15:31 no, no. So I said, dude, what are you gonna do? What's the next, what's the play here? Because you can't do this. You can't. He's on thin ice with her too. He's on thin ice. He did not give her a good head. And now she's not, and she's like giving her
Starting point is 00:15:48 an F from the report cards. And she's giving him a report card. She's red. Can you imagine, can you imagine you go on date number three or four with the hug whoever, right? In your single life, you go, are you go out with Jeff date number four, you give him head and he says, and on the way out the door, he's like,
Starting point is 00:16:03 we're gonna sharpen up our BJ skills. Yeah, I'd be like fuck you What's belly? I'd be scared I'd be like I don't want to date that anymore, but I've had women tell me this before No, hey, let me just prep as it by saying I think everything is great in Sexual relationship if you tell the other person what she would like. And if you kind of, you know, tell them what you'd like, you can't be demanding that. I dated a very,
Starting point is 00:16:31 I can't criticize. The criticism. Well, you can, but it's not, you might, criticism doesn't go well. Remember there was a woman that I dated that was very pushy and demanding, like a little tyrant type. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:42 You know, I'm talking. I don't even need to say, I don't even need to get with at the name and you already know what I'm talking about. That type. Yes. You know I'm talking. I don't even need to say, I don't even need to get with that the name and you already know what I'm talking about. That girl. Yes. We went to Denver one time and we were at a friend of her's house and we got snowed in.
Starting point is 00:16:53 It was a one bedroom condo in Denver and we got snowed in. It was like four feet of snow happened and it was around eastern we got snowed in. And so the girl that we were visiting, her friend allowed us to stay in her room as an accommodation, which I thought was very nice, right? Saved us on the hotel room, and then she slept on the couch
Starting point is 00:17:13 and we got to sleep in the bedroom. But, you know, it's a very small place, and so there wasn't a lot of like, I didn't wanna have sex, especially in this girl's bed. It's weird, right? Yeah, somebody's housing their bed own bed. So one morning, and they're right outside.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Yeah, they're right there. And I mean, right there. It's like, you can hear them. Stop fucking in my bed. They're right. Yeah, it's a little raid. There. This is, we're not talking like a $50 million condo.
Starting point is 00:17:37 We're talking about like a starter condo with paper on the walls. You know what I'm saying? We're wallpapers basically. You know, it's right there. Everyone's right on top of each other. Tiny little condom. So she walks out, she goes to take her dog
Starting point is 00:17:49 for a walk one afternoon, and me and this girl are laying in the bed. Oh, no, no, no. Laying in the bed, but my girlfriend had just taken a shower. So she was like wearing a towel, right? And then so she starts getting frisky. And I'm like, oh, here we go, frisco, frisco way. Yeah. We are now facing each other on a bed
Starting point is 00:18:06 So imagine this two people not laying down, but turned sideways and facing each other and making out right she rips off the towel and We're trying we're going for entry. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah on your side on our sides But I can't quite get there because she's shorter than I am Yeah, there's much smaller than I am. It's on my side. Logistical, I'm not a 15 foot, kind of guy, you know what I'm saying? I'm not six foot forward in the fucking cock, right? Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty big.
Starting point is 00:18:35 I'm pretty big. But, you know, I blame my small dick on... That's right, they've picked some from you. So, I can't get there, right? So she reaches down and she grabs my cock and she ganks it as hard as she can and she's like, just fucking figure it out. That's what she says.
Starting point is 00:18:56 And I'm like, holy fucking shit. You wanna talk about a bone or a killer? Yeah, I'm like, you're totally fucking amasculating me. I know. I can't get there, I can't do it. It's an impossible thing. You're 12 pounds, you're four foot four. I can't get there.
Starting point is 00:19:10 It's not happening. And she's like, well, you need to fucking figure it out. And I was like, Jesus, fucking crazy. I don't like pushy in the bedroom. I'm not interested. No, no. I'm not looking for say- No, no, no, I'm thinking more of like,
Starting point is 00:19:23 I mean, at least what has worked for us is more of, you know, a conversation. I like a conversation. Yeah. I like this. Would you like to do this? I've been watching some tantra videos on the internet archives. Nice.
Starting point is 00:19:37 Nice. And you don't even have to always talk about it when you're about to do it. That's right. It can be talked about at other times like maybe you're watching a movie and something and you're like, I like that. How do you want me to do it. It can be talked about at other times, like maybe you're watching a movie and something and you're like, I like that. How do you want me to stroke your lotus pedal? Mm. Well.
Starting point is 00:19:53 How do you want me to talk to your Yoni? How do I open up your Yoni? Yeah, yeah, you know, it's a conversation. You can't be, push, she is a turn off to a lot of people. And criticism will go nowhere. I'll get her, get her. No, that goes negative points. Absolutely. That's a turn off to a lot of criticism will go nowhere. Get about it. Get that. That goes negative points. Absolutely. You want to kill a boner. You know, emasculate somebody right there in the bedroom.
Starting point is 00:20:12 Don't criticize and don't demand. I know there's people that are into this. But this that's right. Right, right, right. That's all. Right. You got to have a conversation. It's got to be a back. I don't know what Marlon's going to do here, but I think he's in a no-win situation. You know what I'm saying? You do here but I think he's I think he's in a no-win situation. Yeah, I'll see it working out. You can't get a bonus. I don't think so either. I think he just wants he's so fascinated by the idea of having someone take care of and financially.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Yeah. Why doesn't he do this? Why don't you give him this uh this advice? Why? He'll hear it. Go ahead, give him this advice. Yes, Marlon is your listening. Why don't you just go ahead and do every single thing
Starting point is 00:20:45 that she says to do? Okay. Let that be the experiment. That'll get you to Venice. That'll get you to Venice. We need you to get to Venice at this point. I told it might feel like this. There's five more dates though.
Starting point is 00:20:58 Yeah, that's five more dates. That's five more episodes of the commercial break. He may like something that she recommends. But maybe he should say to her, don't be so pushy. I'm going to need you because you know, that kind of woman, that kind of woman sometimes wants a little pushback. You might be right about that. That's part of what I told him.
Starting point is 00:21:20 She doesn't want like some malleable guy. She does, I think maybe she needs a little pushback. I think this is fetishized for her. Yeah, I think he, yeah, I think he maybe needs to push back and say, look, I'll do what you say. I will absolutely work on my skills. Yeah. If that's what you want, but you can't be so bossy.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Yeah, I told him this. I said, why don't you tell her that you're not interested in all of this pushback? Yeah, I want this to be a two way. I just wanted to be organic all together and then we can recap at the end of the night Right, I like this. I don't like that whatever And I think he needs to put his foot down on the couple things. Yeah, I don't think I think he just needs to leave the situation Personally because first of all he's not attracted to her in any way shape or form it might become so yeah I don't know. I don't know. I know Marlin a lot.
Starting point is 00:22:05 I know Marlin for many years, and I think this is not, I think Marlin is in this for the money, and he doesn't need the money, but you know what I'm saying? He thinks like a lottery ticket that you found on the ground. You're gonna go to the grocery store and try and get it. That's shallow. So maybe he should try something new. I agree.
Starting point is 00:22:20 Yeah, well, Marlin, we're now that we've ripped open your day in experience. Yeah, Marlin. We love you, Marlin. We love you, Marlon, we're now that we've we've ripped open your day of experience. Yeah, Marlon. We love you, Marlon. We love you, Marlon. And we have Will now who is on seeking arrangements on behalf of the commercial break. I love this.
Starting point is 00:22:35 And Will is the perfect personality type for this because he is just, he just loves women. He loves being single. He's up in New York where there's a lot of options. I would imagine. And he's now on seeking arrangements where there's a lot of options. I would imagine. And he's now on Seeking Arrangements and we're gonna get an update from him. Just as soon as we think it's necessary to get an update,
Starting point is 00:22:50 I don't wanna give an update that I signed up. That's not what I want. I wanna update when some action has happened. So we'll keep you posted, we'll let you know. But all of this dating talk got me thinking and got me watching. I think I know where you're going with that. You think I know where I'm going with this. Where do you think I'm going with this?
Starting point is 00:23:07 Love Connection. The Love Connection! Yeah! Yeah! The Love Connection! I love the Love Connection too. And there's a few episodes. Hey, Chuck, we'll read Love the Love Connection.
Starting point is 00:23:17 We'd love to love the Love Connection. Hey you! Yeah you! Thanks for listening to another episode of The Commercial Break. TCBpodcast.com, that's where you go to connect with Chrissy and I. You can find out more information about the two of us, listen to all the audio or watch all the video all from one location. YouTube.com slash the commercial break is the place to be if you want daily clips and
Starting point is 00:23:43 full episodes two days after they release on your favorite audio platform. At the commercial break on Instagram and 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best, the number 2-Y-O-Yo. Give us a text message, leave us a voicemail, tell us how you feel about the show, leave us content ideas, comments, questions, concerns, we'll take it all at 661-237-8296. Please do us a favor and leave us a comment and a review on your favorite podcast player. It's the only way the show grows and we appreciate all those people who have done so lately. We're going to take a moment to tell you about our sponsors and then we'll be back to this episode of The Commercial Break. If you've been listening to The Commercial Break for any period of time, then you've heard Chrissy and I talk about meditation.
Starting point is 00:24:38 It's a practice and routine that I've kept up for about 25 years. And about eight years ago, I was trolling through the App Store trying to find a meditation app for music. And what I found was calm. I'm sure you've heard of this application. It's incredibly popular and there's a great reason why. It helps to induce calm. The app does exactly what it's name describes through guided meditation, through music, through sound scapes, through stories, sleep stories, and otherwise, and many other tools that are updated every single week. This is an application that at my household, we open up at least twice a day, because now
Starting point is 00:25:14 my children love this app also. It's got an entire section for kids. It helps them with sleep stories, simple meditations, and soundscapes. And I couldn't be more excited about this when it's time to go to bed. The kids ask for the calm app because they want to hear the sleep stories from some of their favorite characters. And I use it for the guided meditation, the soundscapes, and sometimes the sleep stories when I'm having trouble getting to bed.
Starting point is 00:25:39 This application is an incredible tool in my tool belt when I'm trying to de-stress in these incredibly stressful times. If you don't yet have this app, I want to give a gift to you from the good people at COM. For listeners of the show, COM is offering an exclusive 40% off a COM Premium subscription at COM.com slash commercial. Go to C-A-L-M dot com slash commercial for 40% off unlimited access to com's entire library. That's com dot com slash commercial. Chrissy and I highly recommend this app. This is one of those things that Chrissy and I truly love. So go to com dot com slash commercial. Get 40% off the com
Starting point is 00:26:22 premium subscription and thank you so much to calm for becoming a sponsor of the commercial break. We haven't done a love connection video in a while. I think we've only done one in the entirety of the commercial break. That was really fun. It was good. I mean, I was like on the floor,
Starting point is 00:26:38 roll it on the floor laughing, the adamote. Well, don't jinx it. We're only in the first day. Well, it was the guy that was like a leg, there was something to do with the boy. He said, Chuck say, where you want it? I hear you want to have kids right away. And I said, yeah, right there on the couch, Chuck.
Starting point is 00:26:55 I got a leg. He said something about it. He said something about it. I would need to send people by. I'm gonna ask him. I love Chuck, or go fuck yourself. Or what the fuck Chuck is, what it's called? WTF Chuck, that's right. What the fuck Chuck is what it's called W T. I like to fuck Chuck. What the fuck Chuck go back, listen to that one if you want to hear some more love
Starting point is 00:27:09 connection to Tom Foulery, but right now I present to you one of my other favorite episodes of the love connection. I've marked a few down. You know we should do as well. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it.
Starting point is 00:27:22 We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. We just get into it. the marriage one, the newlywed game. I like the newlywed game, and I've been through a lot of those episodes. But I think they're already funny the way they are. They're not unintentionally funny, they're trying to be funny. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:27:35 So it's kind of hard to make fun of something when they're already making jokes every 15 seconds. It's very joky. It's obviously, it's all very scripted. But here we go. Chuck Willery, my man, This is an episode probably from the early Yeah, he is well, how can you see this? I think that might be from the early 90s. This is I I have present to you on youtube.com
Starting point is 00:27:54 Slash the commercial break. I present to you the the love connection in 2D It's like this is so old It's like this is so old. Yeah, he's been divorced about six months, but he's only married for seven months. Oh. He's got on the raper glasses. The one out there can't say. He's the Univommer.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Basically, welcome to Univommer to the... Oh my God, he even really looked. That is not a good one. And to see you on a woman in the jumpsuit, please welcome Jeff Lovs. Love to see a woman in a jumpsuit. That's an interesting thing to say. Hey, it's the wacky wild eighties. I mean, he does own an electric company.
Starting point is 00:28:33 That's true. This guy is a white guy. He's got a thing for jumpsuits. This guy is a white guy with Jerry Curl and very dark sunglasses on for whatever reason. That was also a thing in the eighties too. I think the Italians like to do that. Put on sunglasses in the middle of the day I saw jumps to there in my mouth went south on me why don't you like jumpsuit?
Starting point is 00:28:52 oh he does like jumpsuit well I saw jumpsuit on there and I gave myself a blowjob what is my mouth went south on me what did that mean? the fuck joke I don't like that What the fuck, Jeff? I don't even like that. Oh. Oh. The ladies that are wearing a maroise train to hide something. Well, Jeff, and they're hiding their big butts.
Starting point is 00:29:10 Make yourself, make yourself. You have to make butts. Well, flash forward, Jeff, what is this? He's got a big butt. He's got a weirdaft tactation. Everybody loves a big butt. Every time the woman's wears a jib suit, he's trying to hide something from me, like a vagina.
Starting point is 00:29:25 Oh my god. Tom suit hides a butt. It does, Chrissy. You just don't know. You don't have special X-ray glasses. That's what he did like. You don't have X-ray glasses like I do. He does.
Starting point is 00:29:36 He's taking them on their watch. They're big butts. You think they're hiding their big rear end? Yeah, and they're always bleached out. Cotton, 100% cotton. They buttoned down on the front. you ever wear baggy clothes at all No, I like I like
Starting point is 00:29:49 Sandex and Heidi whitey This guy look his his effectation is so awesome Oh my god, because I've been told I have a real cute small butt Woo we actually meant dick! It's small dick is what I said. Where is Kim? Tiny.
Starting point is 00:30:11 It's a tiny little dick. It's adorable. Take it for a walk, put a leash on it. Look at Shog's face. And on that note, let's take a look at the tapes, Jeff. Sorry, remember you're going to vote again. First, there's Kimberly. She admits that she's...
Starting point is 00:30:25 Remember, there's no way out of it. We're going to have to send this gentleman out with a woman. First, there's Kimberly. She's wearing a jumpsuit. Shit. It looks like she just got back from surgery this lady. She's like, two louts sometimes, but that comes from being part of a large family.
Starting point is 00:30:40 She's proud of the fact that she can eat anything and not get fat. Now, Kimberly hasn't even lived a wonderful life. I have here's more on that. Right after I filed for divorce, I started seeing my high school sweetheart again. So we've been seeing each other for three, we were seeing each other about three and a half years. So, and I had a baby. So I was like, I've ruined it.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Oh my god. Right. I forgot. I'm on the divorce. I started dating me in time. I'm in high school football team. And I said, baby, now I'm on the dating game. I'm still dating everybody.
Starting point is 00:31:12 On the way here. My mom sent me up with this. The 80s was such a big scene. It is. Crazy hard. That's how those mass murderers happened. Yeah. Everyone think they're like, people are a lot of people who are still reserved
Starting point is 00:31:27 in some way, shape or form. Like now everybody wants to be a reality show star. So anytime they get on TV, they act the fool, right? But back then, people were still reserved. True. But they let their personality out in small little ways like this. I hadn't even been divorced
Starting point is 00:31:41 and I was already dating three people. Yep. Seeing only two people in my whole life. Eeeh! Eeeh! NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN Yeah, they both shot liquid into my eye. Oh my God. Both of them got me pregnant fucking dicks. Expo, she loves to spend money on a date as long as it's not her own. In her spare time, she likes to write jokes, cook, or play with her cat. Now, she's originally from Chicago and later moved to San Diego.
Starting point is 00:32:19 And here's the difference that she finds between men and both cities. Peace, Coast Guys. Are more into Darren Moves. Please, Coast Guys are no farther. It's Coast Guys are into Netflix and chilling out. The West Coast Guys just like to say hello and whip it out. I wish they all could have larger penises. That's good.
Starting point is 00:32:52 People here in California are more into healthy sporting events, at least in San Diego recreational outdoor events, which is... I can see Bob right now, Bob on the couch. He's like, here's a healthy sporting event. Gobble on my car. Are you hiding something under those pants? The men get off easy and San Diego because they take you for
Starting point is 00:33:11 They take you like to a joggy event and they don't have to spend a little what a jogging event Wow the 80s were boring. That was really weird Hey, it's bomb from the love Like give me four hundred dollars for a date and there's a there's a five K. Five K. There's the leprechaun five K down the street. I was thinking we'd go there. We have some jambajus. Then we can have sex on the way. We can jog. We can jog. have you ever yawed? It's like jogging, only you do it in a jumpsuit.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Don't bring that big ass of yours. All right. Pamela says that she probably works too hard, but she doesn't work out enough. She's looking for the male version of herself, someone who's motivated, career-oriented, and likes to travel. She thinks that men treat her differently
Starting point is 00:34:03 because she's only five-one. She's an audiologist. What's an audiologist? Is it someone who dyes to your ears? Passed the ears? Something to do with ears. Another word, something to do with ears. Something to do with ears.
Starting point is 00:34:16 She is a hearing aid fitter. Yes. I think that we're like really cute or something, because I had just met this person out of R.D. at the night. And he was dancing, he picked me up. He thought I was a ragdoll or something. And I just was the first time that ever happened to me and I said, you know, what do you think?
Starting point is 00:34:28 Like I'm just like a little puppet or something like throwing me around. You know, I guess he thought I was like, well, little. They picked me up and threw me around the room. I guess. Like I'm just imagining this lady swinging around the room. Five foot one for a woman is not that short, is it? I mean, I'm five two, yeah. You're five two?
Starting point is 00:34:46 Yeah, so yeah. One and shorter. I'm sorry. We'll get you that procedure. We'll get you that procedure. We'll get you that procedure. The bone stretching. Yeah, I found out more about this.
Starting point is 00:34:54 By the way, I watched a video on it. Okay, good. Thank you because when I was sort of listening to the show, I was like, don't, did they stretch the bone? They do stretch the bone. Exactly what they do. Yes, they do. Did you get your bone stretched?
Starting point is 00:35:04 Yes, well, this is what they do. They stretch the bone and what they do. Yes, they do they break the bone. Yes, well, this what they do They they stretch the bone and then they break the bone and then they put pins in it and they encourage the bone to grow Around the pins so it stretches them out and it gives them strength It's fucked up man. Would you do that just to get a gain an inch? No True My You were a month ago. That's true. Yeah. It was stretching my bone, I guess. I had it done. I stretched my bone in traction a lot.
Starting point is 00:35:28 And when I was 15, I was in traction for a whole year. I was trying to stretch my bone. I'm stretching my punches. Should it have worked? No. No. Oh my God. I think it would be the best lady for it. No! It's the day now.
Starting point is 00:35:50 No! No, don't worry, don't worry, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I'm Chuck Volary. Hope all your dates are good. See you tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:36:00 I got it. Don't worry, I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got us covered. I'm Chuck. Well, I hope all your dates are good with tonight. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. Chuck. Don't worry. I got the I got us covered. Do you think I would just put the first half?
Starting point is 00:36:09 No. It only gets better from here. So let's watch part two. Okay. We're back for women. Oh, sorry. We're back for women and a baby. Next on my 1991 1991
Starting point is 00:36:27 oh come action fashion romance needs modern day technology did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it did it and now I feel like Marlon should it is Katy Perry yeah it's Katy Perry He was on a love connection. I wish he was on the love connection man
Starting point is 00:36:49 Can you imagine what a lucky bastard that would be celebrities? They're just like us. They're just like us Yeah, as Travis Scott at the gas station yesterday approved celebrities are just like us You have a sheriff's officer that goes to the shitter with you, unbelievable. That's normal. I wish Chuck hadn't turned out to and do a relationship with one woman. And he likes to kiss all of his first dates. But even if you have great force, he claims that he'll never do that on the first date. Please welcome Jeff Dorn. This lights our bright and studious.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Yeah, it's quite a go to wear black sunglasses. He's got, I think transitions had just come out and I couldn't quite work out their product yet. It's transitions 1.0 is what that is. It's our dark all the time. Do you remember? And that can be it, people started wearing those transitions, but they were just dark all the time.
Starting point is 00:38:02 They were. Especially the top. I know, you'd walk into like, like it transition but just the bot, like you couldn't still see to my eyes. I know. I remember that one of the priests that was like, my grandma would invite the priest over and the priest, it would be the middle of the night and he'd walk into the room
Starting point is 00:38:18 and the kitchen light would be on. And all of a sudden he was wearing sunglasses. Now I know why. He was looking at my dingo. He lay the fly and come over here and sit on my lap, play with my transitions. I've got another transition in my pantalent. I have a seat here.
Starting point is 00:38:38 Well, how many dates do you go through before you actually give a massage? Well, Chuck, I usually like this. Well, Chuck, I usually like to grab the way he's talking. I know that's what I'm saying. He's calling his head completely still. And his mouth is completely closed. Except for he is speaking. He's like this.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Well Chuck, I'd like to usually get there the first. I mean, have we crossed reference? Backcheck this as to any of the cereal killer shows that are on Netflix. Absolutely. Jeff Don Wayne Gacy by the way John. John. I'm talking about that depressing John Donne which by the way John Wayne Gacy was killing people in the neighborhood that I grew up in Chicago in 1978 79 when I was a kid when I was a four year old. You better be. 79 when I was a kid when I was a four year old All enough to have paint go to work with his painting
Starting point is 00:39:29 Until the second or third date Because you know massage is usually lead to bigger and better things and I wouldn't want to scare the girl off My bigger and better things chuck. I mean my cock. Oh my God, he's got his wall. Whoa. I got a big cock. Look at him, look at him. Look at him. Jeff, let me ask you a question.
Starting point is 00:39:58 How many dates do you get through before you ask somebody to massage? Well, ask is kind of an interesting question. I've got a teaserer that I like to, I like to start to massage off with a taser. He has an electric coming. So, roof and all. And I give excellent massages, you know, so it usually does leave. You want one right now I'll show you Jack let me start on the front no work my way to the back The old Toro massage
Starting point is 00:40:36 Jeff I'm gonna have to take your word on that and I do Studio audience chucks like let's not talk about anything almost sexual on my show. You're good. Yeah, that means like this. Let's not talk about anything almost sexual, my show. Steering the conversation. Save it for the after party, Jeff. Yep, yep.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Let's all Jeff's three choices, yes they. And I'm gonna take a look and catch you up today. First, Kimberly, she's proud of the fact that she can eat anything and not get fat. Paula, she got it. She got it. That's your calling card. That's your intro. That's your elevator pitch. I'm Kimberly. It's
Starting point is 00:41:14 nice to meet you. I can do anything and I can do anything. Okay. Not her own. She likes being a man even not around Geez He's a job of generalizing women producers at the love connection Man, could you be anymore to get you have any more throw any more stereo types into your writing? They stuff it all into one episode. Oh! Oh! Hey, picked a girl with this that worked out enough? Yeah, he picked a girl who...
Starting point is 00:41:54 Yeah, he says he's hiding them under that jump suits. Under the jump suits. Which was the thing back in the 80s, kids. Pretty good. You want me to call you Pamela or Pam? Pam's fine. Pam's fine, okay. Make yourself at home. Call me anything.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Just don't call me collect. Ah! Ah! Deff will start us off. Well Chuck, we got to the restaurant. And I could tell by looking at Pam that she was perfect for me. She was great looking. She was well groomed.
Starting point is 00:42:25 So I had her laid down on the floor and I sketched her body. I then made a plaster cast coat. I strapped her down to the floor and I started massaging her. All without moving my mouth. Right. She is perfectly. He is not moving his mouth. Now she was perfect. I could marry her and then murder people inside. She's good.
Starting point is 00:42:48 She would never die. She'll have no idea that I'm a closet and homosexual murderer. Are you sure you don't want dead massage, Chuck? He else would wait. I'll stop for a second, because he just said that she, I walked in, I could tell she was perfect for me.
Starting point is 00:43:02 She was good looking and well-grinned. Oh. Can you tell that when you first see someone? When you're wearing extra glasses, I could tell she was perfect for me. She was good looking and well groomed. Oh. Can you tell that when you first see someone? When you're wearing X-ray glasses, you get it. What? It was. It was a glasses. When you've got your X-ray transitions on. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:15 I could tell that she took a lot of time to get ready for the date. And the first thing she said to me was, it's nice to date a guy with hair. You didn You didn't go out with a bunch of bald guys? That's when I showed her my penis. Jack, you've got a bunch of bald guys. I don't think I said that, Chuck. And then something much going on here. Yeah, the last time a guy was going out with him have been balls and one guy told me he had blind hair
Starting point is 00:43:47 But didn't tell me the blind hair started in the back of his head Oh geez Geez Lucinda could chill out a little bit The poor ex-boyfriend is watching this at home. He's like, hi, that's me nice. Oh Jeff I said wow this guy's really cute. He's real preppy. He had khaki pants on. Tark sunglasses. Hey, man, sunglasses. Tark sunglasses.
Starting point is 00:44:09 That's the sunglasses. I know sunglasses. She had sunglasses. Everything a good murderer wears. Yeah. We also are in short. Hey, man, sunglasses. I said, this is the kind of guy that I need to be going out with.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Oh, he's got chicklet teeth. This is the kind of guy that never murders anybody, Chuck. He's got chicklet teeth. He does, and he doesn't move his jaw. So it's so weird. It's very prominent. Yeah. He reminds me, remember, American...
Starting point is 00:44:39 What is that? American... Jason... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. American Jason He looks like what is this Yeah, his jaw should move like that It doesn't I know he looks like his head should be at a carnival in Those like walk through horror houses I don't like jumpsuits
Starting point is 00:45:08 You're perfect for me. I'm bad. She doesn't even know you give great massages yet. No, I didn't tell her that. Well, she found out that. Oh, she found out. Well, Chuck's going to get uncomfortable. He gets hot. He's like, I don't like to talk about sex
Starting point is 00:45:28 Win there you went a little stiff sitting there. I must they just kind of sit back and relax you know This is like my living room. Okay, so now what happened? He was saying that sarcastically because Jeff is Reclined back. Yeah, Jeff is well. No, I, I think he's talking about his actual neck and head. Yeah, he's seen the same thing that we're seeing. He's like, you seem a little stiff there. It's just my massive murder erection. Oh, at the time I'm about to murder somebody. I get a big boner.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Thanks for introducing me to all murder people. Yeah, thanks for introducing me to all murderers. Thanks for introducing me to three potential victims. Anyway, we decided to go into the bar for a drink. I brought, I was a little late to the date, so I brought Pam a dozen roses. I was a little late to the date, so I brought her a couple teeth from my last... You can put them on a necklace, Pam She really she really enjoyed the roses. I can tell she really appreciated that I wasn't so you get roses often Pam No, I haven't got roses in about three years
Starting point is 00:46:35 So when I saw those roses I was very excited and I told Jeffie I look past the murder Asked peace so when I got those roses I literally dropped my panties right there It wants a massage. I said, how are you? How are you with massages? It's funny that you ask. Great. So now what happened?
Starting point is 00:46:57 Anyway, we got to go for dinner and I said to Pam, Anyway, out of my story, Chuck, you interrupted me. You're on my murder list. Did you want me to carry your flowers over to the table? And I mean, she was holding on to him with two hands. She would not let go of these things. Dun, dun, dun, dun. I'm gonna put you in your open next day. And she just, here comes the bride with the bloodstain night.
Starting point is 00:47:24 Love you. Love you. And he brought the roses. Here comes the bride with a plud stay nice Love you And he probably roses I'm in He's got hair, he probably roses His jaw is a swired shot, he's perfect Mama told me about boys like these Mama said, well honey if you could get somebody
Starting point is 00:47:45 with hair and teeth that don't move. All out of the red. Hold on to them. I mean, she's gonna take these flowers on this trip with her on a plane to New York. I couldn't believe it. Oh, what? What?
Starting point is 00:47:58 Oh, he's just saying. He's gonna be getting a board there with all these things like her. She must not get flowers very often. And I don't get them very often, but this was a special occasion. So now you go through dinner. This is a special occasion Good for you dude
Starting point is 00:48:10 Yeah, I'm actually on a dating show you should be acting like that. Yeah, listen to Chrissy Listen to what she has to say. I like the stuff. We go through dinner then after dinner We headed back to her apartment and Wow I thought I thought I'd kind of break it. I thought I kind of break it I thought I'd murder her there and make clean up a lot easier haha I said you know kind of relax we sat down on the love seat together
Starting point is 00:48:37 and I said I need to be one of these audience members get it get it I need to be one of these audience members. Get it! Get it! Okay, I can hear sex happens! I know. Who is audience? Were they like serving an open bar?
Starting point is 00:48:54 Yeah. Did you get the second place? Well, Steve, wow! I know. Like they've never seen a porn before. The 80s was like caveman days. I know, like they've never seen a porn before. The 80s was like, caveman days. I know. Did she show her legs? All right.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Rankles. Rankles. I just did. I think there's something to open by, and the audience with the audience. I think just the thought of sex. Sense everybody in asses. Ow!
Starting point is 00:49:27 I just gave him a pants! That was wild! Munkidation was wild! I've never seen anything like it. He went to the couch. Shit. How do you know when your date starts to get romantic? When you're sitting on a love z
Starting point is 00:49:46 When you get in the reaction You're gonna get a bowler Yeah, I'm written so I said I guess it's one of the guy puts his hand on my knee And then also and I saw just hand on my knee and I figured oh he must remember what I wrote So so what did you do fam? Oh, it's three orgasms in the row I had a 15 minute orgasm That hand and I put it all over me 15 minutes
Starting point is 00:50:32 There's gonna be like a riot Just guys with hard ons running up Like Tom Cruise jumped out of the open couch. Just a bunch of guys jumping on the couch, rack it up. AHHHHH! He touched your leg! AHHHHH! I can't open it anymore! I thought he was sitting and kissing me and I figured that was his cue.
Starting point is 00:51:07 And what? It was. So what happened? So he gave me a kiss and I thought it was real nice, but I didn't want Jeff to get a cocky, so I really wanted a second date and said, well let me just keep guessing about what I'm feeling. Oh. Oh.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Oh. Yeah, cockies. Yeah. I mean, you know, I didn't really want to go all out and really get into the kissing because it was the first date and everything, you know. Little research. But fucking is a different story.
Starting point is 00:51:40 I'm sorry. Oh. It gets me through the first. I've waited a couple days. I don't really want to get into showing her my micro penis on the first date. That's a conversation for a different time. I didn't want to tell her about my unfortunate electrocution accident with my balls. That's why I started the company.
Starting point is 00:52:04 My opinions just smelled like bird toasts in 82. That's why he started his own company. My opinion is to smell like bird toasts in 82. That's why he started his own company. Her mom is what do you have? Deep with a guy again. And she said, it's how you kiss. And I go, well, how did I do?
Starting point is 00:52:20 And she goes, just okay. This is like the girl that is dating Marlon. I think this is nothing like that. It's like, well, how did I do? Listen how he asked this question. It's so weird. It's so weird. She said, it's how you kiss.
Starting point is 00:52:33 And I go, well, how did I do? And she goes, just okay. And I said, just okay. Give me your mouth. Give me your mouth. Give me your mouth. Let me see that, Bobbig. I'm the best!
Starting point is 00:52:46 Hahaha! Baby it's a doll! I'm the worst Burpang kissing champion of the year 1983! Just okay! I don't kiss so well because of the... the doll thing! The wired shot. Alright, so they're kind of playing cat and mouse. The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog!
Starting point is 00:53:06 The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog!
Starting point is 00:53:14 The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog!
Starting point is 00:53:22 The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! The Jog! That sounds pretty good. How'd the date end? Well, actually, we moved over to the couch and got a little more comfortable because... Actually, I went into a bathroom and I masturbated. Why don't I need to go lunch? I just went to a grocery store and I love seats as I count. I love couch. I wanted to make sure that I had a second date with this gal, so, you know, I didn't...
Starting point is 00:53:42 I really liked her a lot. I didn't want to blow my chances. So at that point, I won't. I didn't want to blow up in my pants. This date started at about 4.30 in the afternoon. So it was quite a long date. And I went out for a divorce. I was out for a divorce. Sorry, vagina. I know they're going crazy over nothing.
Starting point is 00:54:26 If you said that this day in age, you'd be like, oh, sounds kind of like a snooze fuss to me. Yeah, people would be checking their text messages. Like this is, my grandma's told stories more sexy than this. Along drive back to Laguna Beach, it took me about an hour and a half to get back from West Hollywood. Oh, Laguna. Oh, Laguna. About two, three days to work the next morning.
Starting point is 00:54:49 What sounds like you had a great date? It was pretty great to see the audience before. Well, let's take a look, Chuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. That was a big rap. She didn't know who the audience was. Oh, 80%. 80%. That's the way it went.
Starting point is 00:55:00 They picked this girl. Yeah, that's a big one. They're going to pay for it. They're going to pay for it. They're going to pay for it. It's going to be big money. We've gone out a couple times. They're gonna pay for it. They're gonna pay for it. It's gonna be big money Oh Thanks to each other I can tell everyone is listening to this episode is like Jesus Christ guys I'm already reading the Apple reviews in my edge. Quiet down, it's 8.30 in the morning.
Starting point is 00:55:32 You wanna go out again, Pam? Oh, I love to. Oh, I love to. Yeah, it's our 10th day. We're going to Venice. We're taking the money and we're going to Venice. We're going to Venice. She's short. So she said she was five one. Oh, she's short. She said she was 5'1.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Oh. Oh. Oh wow. Ah! Brrrr! That's not the right skirt for her to be wearing. No, Nate, we enjoyed it. Thank you. Ethan, touch and let us know how you're doing.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Okay. Okay, gonna come right back with another one. Keep in touch. Let us know when you have sex. Oh! Or we'll see in that special long years, two years from now. Oh, those two were fun, weren't they? Oh, that was really fun.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Oh. It's Friday. It's Friday. It's Friday. It's Friday here this day. It's the day. That's all we're having so much fun. Okay, Friday's here in this studio.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Do you ever want to settle down? Ah! They're gonna have sex! Oh my God. Wow, what a lot of fun. Well, we covered a lot today. We got Marlon some good advice. Houdley says do everything she wants.
Starting point is 00:56:38 I say get the fuck out. You're never gonna do everything she wants. Cause I know you Marlon. I said do everything she wants, but then push back a little on like on his terms you might be right made on his terms but I have a feeling she would appreciate a little backbone Yeah, I have a feeling that a lady of her age and of her Constitution from what I'm hearing probably really just wants a puppy dog. Yeah, her like internal
Starting point is 00:57:01 The way that she works internally. I think she just wants a puppy dog. I think she's I don't think that I think that she wants a little better back bone. All right, but for her to do what she says try it But the backbone with puppy puppy back bone. What what does it need? He needs a front bone is what he needs a front bone and even the medication a working poor Marlin. You got to get that 10th day, bro We need more content for TCB. We're gonna teach you to get to the 10th day. That's right, you gotta get to the 10th day. He knows he's gotta get to the 10th day.
Starting point is 00:57:29 He's gonna make it to the 10th day. And then I'm hoping that we can get pictures and audio so that we can see this woman. I've seen a picture of this woman actually. Okay. Yeah, I think I'd have a hard time too. That's all I gotta say. Well, bass on looks on loud.
Starting point is 00:57:42 Bass on looks alone, but maybe, you know, maybe she's got something to lie my like. He's our eyes and ears. Oh! I'm gonna move to the couch. No! She's mine. Oh, sorry. I got so excited, I hit myself in the knee.
Starting point is 00:58:01 So yeah, listen, we'll get back with Marlin next week. I promise I'll get you an update from Marlin. We'll get an update on seeking arrangements and all of that. Good stuff. We got lots of wonderful content coming up for you in the next couple of weeks, but we want you to be a part of the action. So go to tcbpodcast.com. You can connect with us there via email.
Starting point is 00:58:19 Go to the contact us page and let us know if there's anything you'd like us to cover. If you've got an interesting video that you've seen, you've got an interesting story you want to tell, you just, you know, think there might be a topic that Chrissy and I might have some fun with. Go to that website, contact us or send us a text message to 661-237-8296. We will not spam you. This is an actual phone number you just text and whoever responds will actually be a human being
Starting point is 00:58:46 So it's not like you know some of those celebrities now they'll give out their cell phone number quote unquote And then you like automated or something. Yeah, and it's an automated spam number. It's so obnoxious I fucking hate it. I one time I thought I was texting Ashton cook and cook and now I get a text message every three days telling me about what He's up to with his wine company and now I get a text message every three days telling me about what he's up to with his wine company. Oh, it's the old scammer band. I had to press stop. So 661, best the number two, Y-O-Yo, hit us up and we'd love to hear from you. Please leave us a rating and a review on your favorite podcast player.
Starting point is 00:59:20 There's lots of you that have been doing that lately. We certainly do appreciate it. Anyone who's not, if you could just take two minutes, it really does help to grow the show, which means more sponsorships, which means more TCB coming your way for free. And one last thing, at the commercial break on Instagram,
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Starting point is 01:00:13 Wish everyone a wonderful and happy and safe Day national Okay? National. Hahaha. Uh. We don't know what day they're listening. National Secretary Appreciation Day. Perfect.
Starting point is 01:00:27 I don't even know what that is, but I hope you have it. Best of you. That's it. What? Best of you, Chrissy. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say we do say we must say.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Bye. Bye.Bye you

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