The Commercial Break - The Cult of Kale
Episode Date: March 1, 2024Bryan & Krissy want to save you from the Kale Cult, but they want to induct you into the cult of Love Is Blind… Insane in the brain! “Milky” Wendy’s surge pricing It’s dynamic! Fuck aro...und and find out Hannah Berner interview coming tuesday Blair Socci is on Theo Vonn! A band called Llorona’s turn in the spotlight Bryan’s victory V The Kale Conspiracy Love is Blind Jimmy & Jessica Big Ball Jimmy LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us 212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A. Producer: Gustavo B. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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At Enterprise, we know you're constantly on the move.
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With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online, no bank appointment needed. Now, the story is the story of two guys who started at the bottom and with a lot of hard
work continue along the bottom and finally end up at the bottom. with a lot of hard work, continue along the bottom,
and finally end up at the bottom.
Oh yeah, that's an intriguing scenario.
Yeah, it's a regs to regs story.
Yeah, imagine it.
Did you see the one about the guys who started at the bottom,
stayed at the bottom,
and at the end they were still at the bottom?
Oh, yes, that's our life.
So inspirational.
Who'd go and see that?
I think I'd see that.
I would go and see that.
More realistic. On this episode of the commercial break...
Don't run your life around.
Don't run your life around kale.
I dated a girl who literally ran her life around kale.
I was in a kale cult for three months.
I was.
I was like, kale, does that have kale in it?
Could I have eggs substitute the eggs with kale.
I'd like some kale bacon, and I'll take some kale wheat toast.
Do you have any kale hot sauce?
Kale! That's the only thing that works!
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
of the commercial break starts now I'm going insane in my head about a story that I read that's kind of blown up on the internet insane in the membrane
Insane in the brain Where did those guys go? Cybersill is so awesome. I watched a documentary about that a little while back. They're still around. They're still doing their thing?
They're still doing their thing, yeah. I saw a good interview with with 311 I was never the biggest 311 I used to love some 311 I loved a couple of their songs but I
wasn't into everything but I had friends that were into anything but I was
watching an interview with 311 and made me think of Cypress Hill yeah and I don't
I know they're not the same but it it's just like they were grouped in my mind
into this same type of band where I liked a lot of Cypress Hill
but not all of everything Cypress Hill had to offer.
But when you were fucking high,
there was nothing like some Cypress fucking Hill,
Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, who a Pink Floyd,
of course you go back to the classics,
Pink Floyd and all that stuff.
But if you listen to Cypress Hill,
while you're fucking just st-a-one,
you know, where everything is slow and you're like,
ah, I hope I'm talking outside.
Do you remember, do you ever, ever been so stoned?
You just don't know if you're saying things
outside your own body.
Ever been that stoned?
I think a long time ago.
Yeah. It was a long time ago for me too.
Or maybe it was just like three weeks ago.
I had a total panic attack.
Yeah, when I was first starting to smoke weed
like in college.
Oh God, that raggy ass dirt weed that I was smoking.
But you smoked enough of it.
Like if you were taking six foot glass bonnets.
Yeah, I remember those bonnets.
Yeah, the gladiator.
It's milky, bro, it's milky!
Be careful!
And then I would be like,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
I'd be saying words in my head,
but then people would be looking at me like,
what?
And I, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
I have visions of doing that
in people's first apartment,
with not great furniture, not great carpet. Like the old futon. Yeah, blood stains on the carpet.
It could be.
It smells like a yeast infection. I do remember. I do, you know, when the beer pong table was
the only furniture in the place. Exactly.
Old raggedy ass TV and glass, but they had $500 glass bombs.
Right. That's where the money gets then. Yeah, so's crazy. A collection of them. The money gets then.
Yes, of course.
So if you listen to some Cypress fucking Hill,
while you own like Milky Milky Stoned,
it is, you just go into another place
cause they have those weird vocal overlays
that make you just crazed.
Yeah, they're serious.
And said in the voice.
They were serious about what they did.
They loved it.
I like the some Cypress.
Come on the show boys, we'll talk to you about it. I like the subtype for sure. Yeah.
Come on the show boys, we'll talk to you about it.
That's right.
Anyway, watching an interview with 311
and man, does that guitar player,
I don't know what his name is, he looks permostoned.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like he's got those huge bags under his eyes
and that just might be the way that his face is.
I'm not making fun of the way the guy looks.
I'm just saying he looks permostoned.
His eyes are barely open. They're barely open. And they were talking be the way that his face is. I'm not making fun of the way the guy looks. I'm just saying, he looks permostone. His eyes are barely open.
They're barely open.
And they were talking about the Grateful Dead
and he had a guitar in his hand.
And there was two, the singer and one of the guitarists
was talking to this interviewer, Stereo Gum or something
like that.
The singer is not as stoned probably.
He's trying to answer the questions
and the guitar player is just like, you know,
he's just noodling around.
Yeah, the entire time.
And I was like, shut up, shut up.
It's probably me at every party I ever went to.
Little, little, little, little, little, little, little,
but I only know two chords.
So there you go.
This story is making me,
and speaking of stone people,
this story is making me incensed.
I can't even believe it.
I don't know what we've come to in this country, in this world.
Oh, yeah.
It's already the point of no return for me.
No return.
Yeah.
I'm just like, I'm surprised by nothing.
I'm surprised by nothing.
Yeah.
Surprised by nothing.
Our institutions are not institutions anymore.
It's just like, it's insane.
But anyway, there's less gravity to this, but just equally as fucked up.
That Wendy's is now charging, did you hear about this?
Oh, I did see that.
I wanna make sure that it's-
It's a digital board, right?
Well, listen to this.
The pricing that's like, not surge pricing.
It's surge pricing, that's what it is.
It's surge pricing, that's what they call it.
But they came out and they were like, no, we're not.
Oops.
Yeah, oops, I got out.
Wow, Bob and marketing really fucked up and we have fired.
No, it's cert, well, they call it, whatever they call it,
but it's search pricing.
Dynamic pricing.
Yes.
Please, I hear the word dynamic use one more time
in the incorrect way.
Dynamic is like super fantastic.
Like that's how you explain your newest girlfriend.
She's dynamic.
She's lovely and she's empathetic and she's warm and she's caring and she your newest girlfriend. She's dynamic. She's lovely and she's empathetic and she's warm
and she's caring and she gives great heads.
She's dynamic.
Dynamic, give me a blow job.
Okay, here it is.
We'll read this from Fortune Magazine.
Wendy's insists its trial with dynamic pricing
is all about prices going down at times
and has no plans for surge pricing like Uber or Lyft. If I ever heard a bullshit fucking corporate response to
anything. I know and how I thought about this when I was reading the article and
I was like how well they have nobody's gonna check them you know like no if
you're going to Wendy's. You're overcharging me. No you're already in the line, you're hungry, and you chose Wendy's, which I don't do anymore.
No, no, no, no.
But-
I won't do it anymore.
Anyways, yeah, that's just what you have to choose from
and you're going there, you're not gonna check it.
I go to Wendy's twice a year
and I get that fucking Baconator June,
which I think is a good sandwich.
They're fries, like the sea salt special fries.
The sea salt fries are good.
They're okay.
They're better than the old fries they used to have,
which were clearly frozen weird french fries.
But I guess they're all frozen weird french fries,
but listen to me, listen to me, Wendy's.
You're not the king of the castle here.
There's a lot of other great choices
for everybody to go to, okay?
And I know that you might be slipping a little bit,
but having surge or dynamic pricing,
whatever corporate speak you wanna put onto it is bullshit.
When's the last time most people checked the prices
of the hamburger in the morning and in the nighttime
when there's a little bit more traffic?
Which person on earth, stone to the gourd,
just looking for some sea salt french fries
and a Baconator Junior, not name and names, Brian Green,
which asshole checks pricing.
You're trying to get away with something here
and they figured it out and now you're slowly,
you know, you're doing the back belly.
Oh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
I thought we were friends.
I thought we were friends.
Customer. What's wrong?
I thought we were friends.
I trust me, I know you. You're such a good customer. Don't do anything wrong. I didn't do a damn're wrong. I thought we were friends. I trust me, I know you.
You're such a good customer.
Do anything wrong?
I didn't do a damn thing wrong.
These fucking CEOs.
We don't think of them as customers.
We think of them as teammates, friends, clients even.
How we trust them, they trust us.
It's the way the world works.
Why do you think we'd be trying to make money
off the backs of people who clearly have a budget to attend to?
Don't do it. Trust me. Dynamic pricing is best for everybody.
It's gonna bring prices way down at 3 o'clock in the morning and prices way up at 6 p.m.
When most people eat don't worry about it. Trust me!
Assholes listen here. Brian's got something to say about this. Don't fuck
Around fuck around and find out on this one fuck around and find out a guarantee you're gonna lose more customers
Because no one wants to be fucking dicked around people eat the cows and people eat at the same time
Around the world. It's something that happens. So you know exactly what the fuck you're doing
Yeah, okay, maybe the stoner at one o'clock in the morning is gonna get a dollar off his fucking baconator, Jr. same time around the world. It's something that happens. So you know exactly what the fuck you're doing.
Yeah, okay, maybe the stoner at one o'clock in the morning
is gonna get a dollar off his fucking Baconator Jr.
But then you're charging families and people
who just need, want, or have to have a cheap fast meal.
You're charging them more money.
It's like, you know, the goddamn little person
always pays, they always pay.
It's the people with, they don't have good credit
because they don't have enough money to have good credit
because they had a couple of late bills.
Trust me, I know this one.
And hear me out on this.
The people who can least afford it always pay more.
The people who can least afford it always pay more.
They get fucked first because it's like,
oh, well, fuck them.
They don't have good credit.
Fuck them, they don't make enough money.
So we'll charge them an extra dollar because they're risky.
Start charging the assholes who could pay for it
an extra dollar.
How about this?
How about surge pricing depending on
what kind of credit card you use?
If you use a chime credit card, you get a dollar off.
If you use an American Express platinum card,
you get a dollar more.
How's that for dynamic pricing?
That's fucking dynamic.
I am sick of it.
It's so fucking awful.
And Wendy's is trying to screw the people
who can least afford it.
And it's goddamn highway robbery.
Chrissy, not to mention,
I like my Baconator Jr. once or twice a year
and I do not wanna pay an extra dollar for it.
You wanna know why?
Because my Chime Credit Card does not have enough money on it.
That's why.
I think I'm getting fuck around and find out.
I love to fuck around and find out.
Oh, you are.
I was listening to something the other day
and the person was like.
Was it the commercial break?
I don't listen to that so much.
Chrissy goes, ah, not so much. I like to check out other podcasts and see what everybody else is doing.
Chrissy will call me up and she's like,
I love this episode that we did.
And I'll be like, which one?
And she's like, the one Shamilama Ding Dong.
I'll be like, that's episode number three.
I know, I'm just getting around to it.
It's 2024.
At one point, we were trying to go back through our catalog.
Remember how we divided it up for some reason?
What were we doing?
Because you were like, take one, take one through 25. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We were trying to go back through our catalog. Remember how we divided it up for some reason?
What were you doing?
You were like, take one, take one through 25.
I think we were trying to find clips for like a promo
or something like that.
Yeah, I just decided to.
Yeah.
I just decided to randomly cut clips.
So that's when I was listening to things for the first time.
But I was listening to something else the other day
and they said, I fucked around and found out.
Yeah, I like that terminology.
I do too.
Yeah, I like to tell Astrid, fuck me and find out.
And she's like, I did and it's not that interesting.
And we have way too many guests.
So you married a gringo.
Astrid was sharing with me a couple of days ago
that she's got some friends, Hispanic friends,
Latina women that she's been hanging around with because she's Latina and they can speak
the mother tongue and all that other good stuff.
And she was saying that some of the ladies,
sometimes the attitudes from different countries that men take toward women are different, right?
And so she was sharing with me that, you know.
Middle East case of point.
Yes.
Yes, when you don't let women drive, it's a different attitude.
But there can be like small differences too.
It's not like, it's not like totally oppressive, but there just can be different like hereditary attitudes that are taken.
It's cultural.
It's not something that, you know,
someone's necessarily a bad person.
It's just what they learned is what they know
because it's been eons and eons of what they know.
I don't want to get into like all the drama.
What I want to share is that she was saying,
you know, I'm really glad that I married you
because I find you to be a really nice guy.
Weak-minded individual, a really nice guy
who's easily rolled out.
You are a really nice guy.
Oh, thanks, Chrissy. I really appreciate that. Yes. She goes, but you know, you're a really nice guy who's easily rolled over. You are a really nice guy.
Oh, thanks, Chrissy.
I really appreciate that.
Yes.
She goes, but you know, you're a really nice guy and you don't carry some of these same,
you know, attitudes and things that she goes.
And I just wonder if that's like-
Now you're very women forward.
Oh, I'm girl power all the way.
Well, I've got two of them, three of them, four of them actually if you count blue.
I've got four of them and they're constantly rolling over me.
And I just want to make them happy.
That's all I really want to do.
And like I told, by the way,
Hannah Burner coming up on Tuesday,
we had a wonderful interview with her.
She's so good.
So that'll be out on Tuesday.
The very episode 489 is going to be Hannah Burner.
So if you like Hannah tune in, it was a great time with Hannah.
And so I was sharing with Hannah.
She's like, well, I like older men because they've been trained already.
They've been knocked around a little bit and they know which,
and I shared with her that I know which hill to die on now.
And it's none of them.
You don't die on any of them guys.
Women are human beings too.
Like just they can have opinions and all this other stuff.
But she was sharing this with me
and it made me feel so very good about myself.
For like one second I felt good about myself.
Well because we're some of the other people
that she was talking to, they didn't have nice guys.
No, they have nice guys, there's just different attitudes.
Yeah.
There's different attitudes and moods
towards certain things, and I forget
what we were talking about and why we were talking about it,
but I thought I'd share that. Wendy's?
Wendy's.
I don't even know.
Oh, you were talking about the podcast that you were listening to.
The fuck around and find out.
The fuck around and find out.
So anyway, so I shared with Astrid, I said,
well, thank God that I've got that in my corner
because my Latin lover,
bona fides have not been bona or fide.
It's just, sorry.
I don't have a bona or a fide.
It's, you know, you know how it works guys.
I don't have to tell you.
Because I do know that there is, you know,
while there may be more machismo in some cultures, right?
That they're also known as really good lovers.
And I think part of that is because they think
with their dick chakra instead of their whatever chakra,
they walk into the room with their,
with their Mortal Kombat dick energy.
Oh Lord, what is his name?
Yon. Yon, Yon, Yon just With their Mortal Kombat dick energy. Oh Lord, what is his name, Yon?
Yon.
Poor Yon.
Yon just fell apart right there on stage.
It was the one we were reviewing the other day.
He really did.
He just fell apart on stage.
It just all came unglued, just right there.
He's like, I was gonna just wing it.
And now I don't know.
And what he was talking on.
Go back and listen to the yesterday's episode
because we're talking about Jan,
who we've reviewed before
and I had to get into more of it,
but this guy is basically a pickup artist.
He's speaking at a place called the 21 Expo or 21 Convention,
which is for like, Packabar, why is it called 21 Expo?
I have no idea, but he's speaking, he gets up there
and he says, I really have nothing prepared.
And then he takes the next 13 minutes
to talk about his life's failure,
his best accomplishment and the biggest failure,
which is I took 10 years to write a book
that I didn't sell one copy of.
He made 2,000 copies.
I haven't even picked it up in three years.
But you know, Yana has that dick energy,
that kind of thing.
So, you know, Astrid got the good end of the stick
in one sense, but she didn't get the good end
of the literal stick in the other sense.
But I do have three children, so I guess it proves
that at least I had an orgasm three times.
Something was working.
Oh, four esterine.
But you know, back to Wendy's, fuck around and find out.
Fuck around and find out.
Can you believe this?
It's such a shitty thing to do.
If you were gonna say,
like I'm dropping all the menu prices by 25%.
Every bit, every item is by 25%.
If you come in between these hours and these hours,
and those hours were decently relative hours,
then, and then you said,
but during the peak demand time,
we're gonna set the regular prices
because we just, we need more labor,
you know, we need more people cooking.
We have these reasons to do this,
but on the off hours,
that are reasonable.
Yeah, not three in the fucking morning.
Then we're gonna give you a discount
to encourage you to come a little bit earlier
or a little bit later,
to even out our labor costs and even out, you know, it makes sure that we have a little bit of a flow then that I can understand and if you explained it like that
I think people would be apt to understand
But by just keeping the regular prices and then raising them because you need an extra cook back there makes no fucking sense
What so ever and you're just it's just a dumb dumb move This episode is sponsored in part by Wendy's.
Wendy's.
I was thinking that earlier.
I was like, hopefully Wendy's is an advertiser.
You know, here's the crazy part.
You and I, not you and I, but on an episode,
I'm just gonna share this.
On an episode, I spent with the co-host
that was there at the time, not gonna mention who it was.
Okay.
But I spent about 30 minutes with this person,
shit talking a particular brand, right?
Because we were not happy with what they were into,
what they were doing, and we felt like it was a little
predatory, like consumer predatory,
not like predatory predatory.
Consumer predatory, so we spent 30 minutes.
That exact same day, later on that night,
they asked me, a sponsor on the show.
And I was like, yeah, I'm a slut for money.
Fuck Wendy's in their dynamic pricing.
Brian, she talking to sponsor.
He later than sponsors.
Yeah, baby.
Cause that's how my mind works.
Cause I'm using chime.
Chime.
Chime, you know Chime.
I don't know Chime.
Oh, Chime is one of those, you know, build your credit kind of.
Like preloaded cards or something.
Yeah.
Well, I think what you do is you get put $500 in a bank, they extend you $500 credit, they
report back to the credit agencies.
And then that builds your credit.
Now that's for people who are building their credit.
What do people do who have already ruined their credit?
I don't know.
Is this a, can I build my credit back up?
Is that possible?
It takes a long time.
It does take a long time.
So for the foreseeable future,
we'll be doing commercial break episodes.
Just gonna let you know that.
Based on Brian's current credit score.
For your credit scores.
All right, let's demotion and against the cover.
Let's take a break, we'll be back.
I know you're already on your phone,
so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break,
and then follow us on TikTok at TCBpodcast.
Done?
Perfect, thank you.
Since you're at the ready,
why not text us hello at 2124333TCB,
or if you've got some drama in your life,
a little fun story, or anything really,
we're desperate for content, call and leave us a message at 212-433-3-TCB. And don't
forget to check out tcdpodcast.com because that's got it all.
Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors and get back to the
commercial break.
I love Christina saying on that. We're desperate for content.
We're desperate for content.
Please call in.
And people do.
By the way, thanks everybody for the kind words about Astrid, Christina and Tina while they were here
while you were out.
And then thanks everybody for the kind words about the interviews.
A lot of people like the Brad Williams interview
A lot of people did and I see Brad all over the place. He's on a bunch of different other podcasts
He was going on a crazy tour or two. Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that's why he's doing a lot of the podcast get the word out there
but you know very popular a lot of likes on his posts and then
But I should mention this our good friend Blair Saki is on Theo Vaughn this week
Wow, so make sure you go check out Theo.
If you enjoyed the Blair being on our show, then you'll enjoy it twice as much
on Theo's show because he actually has a good podcast.
So go ahead and take a listen.
But Blair's awesome.
And we love Blair and go do that.
And then a lot of people had great things to say.
I loved all of our interviews.
Yeah.
So far, so good.
And then Reggie, Reggie Watts was wonderful.
And when all else fails, talk about mushrooms. So far so good. And then Reggie, Reggie Watts was wonderful.
When all else fails, talk about mushrooms. Talk drugs.
Find the common denominator.
But we really enjoyed Reggie and so did a lot of people
and they were very interested in what he had to say about drugs.
He's very interesting.
He is one of a fucking kind, that guy.
I wish I had half the mind that that guy did.
His book is really good too.
Yeah, you gotta just check it out.
You gotta check it out. And I think there is a link on that that guy did. His book is really good too. Yeah, you gotta just check it out. You gotta check it out.
And I think there is a link on our show notes
to buy his book on Amazon, I think.
So go and do that.
So anyway, thank you to everybody who has written in.
You know the phone number.
We just gave it to you for fucking God's sakes.
Go back, press rewind 15 seconds three times
and you'll be back there, okay?
All right, okay.
Here's another weird story
that I wanted to share with everybody.
And I don't know how popular the story is
or how many people have heard it,
but there's a hardcore band called La Lorna.
Have you heard this one?
La Lorna.
Hardcore singer accused of dosing bandmate with estrogen
in attempt to steal his fiance.
What?
Chrissy, this is the most whacked out fucking shit
I have ever, okay, I'm gonna stop using the pejoratives.
Not everything's my favorite, not everything's the best.
This is one of the more wacky stories I have heard in 2024.
But you know, the election hasn't happened yet.
So I'll wait until then.
Dosing estrogen, how, wow.
Like, do your handle-
I know, where the fuck do you get estrogen?
And then people were saying in the comments of some of these posts that I saw
about this, that you can get estrogen like over the counter.
And I didn't know that.
I didn't know you could get estrogen right over the counter or like an estrogen,
like producing chemical or something like that.
I had no idea.
I thought you had.
There's products out there that I've seen that are targeting that market, but I mean, dosing someone.
I know, dosing somebody with menopause.
So listen to the story and then we'll chat about it.
Ready?
A small time, hardcore band has shot to viral fame over a bizarre gender-bending tale.
One that involves a singer supposedly dosing his bandmate with estrogen in an effort
to steal his fiancé.
The band LaLorna shared the story on its Instagram page claiming that the vocalist Diego attempted
to force a transition on his supposed pal by giving him pre-workout drinks laced with
the female hormone estrogen.
The vocalist's goal, according to the post,
was to make himself look more manly compared to his love rival
so that Diego could swoop in.
The band's post called it a stupid caveman mindset
that makes zero sense.
You want to read the post to you?
Yeah.
This is a post from LaLorna the Band.
We have decided to part ways with our vocalist Diego
due to an admission of a very disturbing
and concerning behavior toward one of our band members
and their partner.
He has admitted to being obsessed with said partner
and has been attempting to sabotage the relationship
by cutting pre-workout drinks.
He frequently gifts from his job
with high amounts of estrogen.
Fucking insane!
Pre-workout drinks.
Yeah, first of all, but I didn't know,
like I'm thinking of most like hardcore metal bands,
and I'm not seeing them at the gym, you know what I'm saying?
I see a lot of different types of the gym,
but I just don't see generally hardcore metal heads in there.
But I mean, I'm not saying the metal heads don't work out.
I'm just saying it's not like, you know,
the whole band's going in there to work out.
Are they really?
And taking pre-workout drinks that are made from one of your bandmates?
I'm sorry.
I don't even trust a drink made by Astrid.
Like, I check that shit.
I tell my kid to taste it first.
I'm like, hey, taste this first.
I've seen too many lifetime movies.
And I say, hey, son, take a couple sips of that and wait 15 minutes
and if he falls over then I know that we're probably don't need to drink that
drink and call the ambulance. He has been attempting to force a transition onto
him for the last five months in the hopes that it would give him more
opportunity to swoop in once he looks stronger and more manly in comparison to the fiance.
Stupid caveman mindset that makes zero sense.
He was playing the long game.
He certainly fucking was.
I mean, dude, whip out your dick or something
and say, come with me.
I mean, I don't know.
Like, is there a better way to, you know what I'm saying?
Can you just pull a Fleetwood Mac?
Yeah, pull a Fleetwood Mac.
They were swapping partners all over the place.
They made some of the best music ever doing that too.
Go watch it.
Go listen to Rumors.
It's literally an album made about how many times they cheated on each other with each
other.
And it's the best, one of the best albums ever made.
Because you know, even if you don't know the story, you still feel it.
You're like, oh yeah.
You feel the emotion.
This tampering has caused confusion and thousands of dollars in medical bills the past months
trying to figure out what's going on.
We would not know of any of these issues unless Diego himself had gotten way too intoxicated
and ousted himself, and then stated an admission to all of us via text.
There are many more disgusting details that have been left out for the sake of privacy
and general censorship.
Many more disgusting details, whoa.
That is just, that is wild.
What's going on out there, kids?
Tinder has fucked you up.
Hinge has made life unbearable for you.
Unhinged.
I know, like there's not another girl in the world
you could possibly be attracted to.
You have to try and poison
Your band with estrogen not cyanide not some like sleeping flower some kind of shit where it right you are literally
Playing the very very long game. How long do you think you would have to put estrogen in someone's drink?
I mean, I'm obviously it made him sick enough to have to go to the doctor
But I mean to turn into an actual woman,
or start growing breasts, or I don't know what,
that would take years, I would imagine.
I don't know for sure, but I imagine
that would take some length of time.
And then to bet on the fact that the girl
was going to be more attracted to you.
Yeah, like, ah, the tits ain't doing it for me.
So, Diego. I'm gonna go with Diego. All of a sudden, yeah. Like, ah, the tits ain't doing it for me. So Diego.
I'm going to go with Diego.
Yeah.
First of all, Diego.
Done.
Stay away from the Diego's.
It's like Brian.
Brian and Diego, stay away from them.
They're nothing but trouble.
Remember that other, Carmen Sand Diego?
No one could find them, right?
Her.
Her.
Sorry.
Is it Where in the World is Carmen Sand Diego?
No one could find her.
Stay away from her.
Wow, that's a bizarre story.
I just...
Where were they, where are they from?
Here in the United States.
No, I know, I didn't know where.
Oh, I don't know, I don't know.
Probably Florida, but I'm just taking a guess.
I don't really know.
First of all, where do you get estrogen?
Well, I mean, now that I'm thinking about it,
so I guess you probably, if people really do want
to transition, you can get it from the doctor, you know?
But how was he, why was he, how was he getting all of the,
like a black market estrogen?
Yeah, it says that he was getting it from his work,
where he, yeah, where he often gets these free drinks.
And then, so I don't know where he's working like a I know or something. I'm not sure
None of this fits the profile none of this fits the stereotypes
For Melons, I'm sorry. I work at GNC and sprouts on the weekends! Oh! Sprouts on the weekends! And we'll be trying to do weekend!
Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh!
Yeah, it's strange.
I will kill you, Satan's God!
Who wants?
Uh, uh, this woman will pass the question.
Who wants a kale smoothie?
Anybody?
Okay.
I will kill you, Satan's God!
Who wants?
Uh, uh, this woman will pass the question. Who wants a kale smoothie? Anybody? Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha in your work face. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba this highly disturbing, but you really have to be obsessed with someone to take it this
far.
Yeah, to hatch that plan.
Yeah, to hatch that plan.
And then just go through with it for five, six months.
And then to send a text message admitting that you're doing it.
Yeah.
Oh, screw him.
You know what I've been doing.
Guess what I've been doing.
So you're never going to guess. You're never going to guess what I've been doing You're never gonna guess never you're never gonna guess what I've been doing
Oh
I So weird. So weird. Mr. Jinn! I have only one time in my entire life been with somebody who is with somebody else. You know what I'm saying?
And I didn't do that on purpose.
I didn't realize that she had a boyfriend.
I thought she was single.
I didn't realize she had a boyfriend.
But I have certainly at times been attracted to other people's partners.
That's not an uncommon thing to happen. I don't think, but I managed to keep my,
I managed to keep my horse and my barn. Yeah. For me, there's like a wall, you know,
the total wall. Me too. It's like, okay, she's hot, but, but I'm not.
So let's just move on. So let's move on.
It's just a door you don't go through. Yeah.
Keep the horse in the stable, leave it alone.
There's plenty of fish in the sea, as they say.
I just used three different animal acronyms and analogies.
I think you have to be really kind of disturbed
to do something like this, no pun intended.
But I think you have to- Absolutely.
Yeah, speaking of Cypress Hill,
whatever happened to disturbed.
I do think you have to be kind of disturbed to do something like this.
And it's such a long-term play, and you're betting on so many things happening.
Like, is he going to be more like a she after 5 to 10 to 12 to 30 years?
I don't know.
And then is the fiance then going to be attracted to me because I happen to look more manly,
or act more manly, sound more manly, whatever it is. There's a lot of different circumstances
that have to happen. I mean, why don't you just profess your love for the girl?
Right, like Eric Clapton. Like Eric Clapton. Can we talk about those babies? Yeah, Leila.
And then let the chips fall as they may, like, or go to your bandmate, your
brother-in-arms, go to him and say, listen, I have a real problem right now.
Your fiance is really turning me on all the time.
I'm super attracted to her, like obsessed with her.
And I don't know how to handle this.
So can you give me a chance for a couple weeks?
We'll see how it all works out.
Like, I don't know anything is.
Yeah.
The gym real quick.
You know, there are other ways to approach this that at least would be kind of more on the nose,
a little bit more honest than putting estrogen
in pre-workout drinks.
It's very, very strange.
Have you ever done anything,
take out the cheating part of it, right?
Have you ever done anything crazy to woo a man
that stuff that you would normally not do.
No, I don't think so.
No?
You're very tame.
I wish I was like you.
I wish I could say the same thing.
What, I'm trying to think about
if I've done anything like this.
Oh yeah, I mean, after talking about this in comparison.
Oh, now everything's tame in comparison.
This has got to be the ultimate play
for another man's woman.
The ultimate play for a partner's partner.
This is just insane to me.
And he's in your band, dude.
Like I know that bands are notoriously rocky and fussy
and they break up all the time.
The drummer never makes it.
But you got that connection.
But you have that musical connection and you're trying to do something like for the common good.
I imagine that even though most people say it,
I do it for the art, that is true.
But everybody, I think, deep down
wants some kind of success and recognition, right?
So you guys are like working toward a common goal.
And the best thing you got is throwing out this note,
this text message that says one bandmate
tried to poison the other one with estrogen.
Like this is just, now it's never happening.
First of all, you guys probably aren't bandmates anymore.
I gotta imagine Diego's out of the pain.
Well, they kicked him out.
They just said that.
Yeah, Diego's gone.
And Diego, you've ruined it.
You've totally completely busted it.
And now you're-
I feel like there might be some kind of criminal case here.
I gotta imagine that putting anything in somebody's drink
that alters their chemical makeup is poisoning.
Even though it may not kill you,
it is changing your chemistry.
And that is a terrible thing to have happen
when you are not aware of it.
You know what I'm saying?
Like you want, like my mom watches all those lifetime movies
and every one of them includes somebody poisoning somebody slowly
You know what I'm saying a child
What's the one that's on headlight news all the time I get stuck watching it sometimes too the
It's the one where they there's all about murders. Oh
Is that like
Criminal files or something. Yeah something murder files criminal cold case files or something. Something like that, yeah. Yeah, something murder files, criminal cold case files.
Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of a poisoning that happens there.
There is a lot of poisoning that goes on,
but it's a different kind of poisoning.
That always made me crazed about the like
the Munchausen syndrome too, Munchausen by proxy,
which is when a mother, typically a mother,
I guess it could be a father too,
but I think it's like by definition,
a mother who makes their child sick
in order to get attention for themselves.
So what makes me crazed about that is not only
is it just like a terrible thing to have happened to a child,
and but that the long, slow making somebody sick
in an effort to gain attention is a mental illness of epic
proportions. And this seems pretty similar to that, right? Is that I'm going to make
you sick over a long period of time to change who you are so that the person that you're
in love with doesn't love you anymore.
It's scary that my Sprouts checkout guy could be that person.
Don't go to GNC with the metalhead behind the,
I'm telling you right now.
Listen, I've been to a lot of GNCs
because I was in a workout phase for a moment.
I was in a workout phase for like two years of my life.
And I'll never forget when, after I got divorced.
Oh, right.
And yeah, and one time I showed up at your pool and I didn't have a six pack,
but I had like almost a four pack, but I had that little like, you know,
that little thing down at the stomach that points toward the victory V.
I had like a little tiny little, yeah.
And I'll never forget that Rachel comes up to me and she's like, wow, Brian,
you are looking hot.
Look at that little victory V you got.
Look at you.
And I'll never be more proud of my physical self
than I was that day.
Nice.
And then I started on cream and cereal
and it's all been downhill since then.
Children, this commercial break.
Stress, COVID.
There's no victory V.
It's more like a victory P.
It looks a lot more like a P. If you look at me sideways, it's like a super.
A lowercase D.
I got a lowercase D.
But I went to a few of those GNCs.
Oh yeah.
I think everybody's probably been to that.
And I'm not stereotyping, but the typical,
you know, would be a guy who was a girl
who looked very in shape.
Right.
They were like, you trusted that they knew
what they were talking about.
And did they ever, I would go in there
and I would be in a world of confusion, right?
I'd be like, way protein, highway protein,
organic way protein, you know, this, that,
the other thing.
So I remember I went in one time to this GNC
and there was a guy, he was stacked Chrissy.
He was like a brick house, right?
Nicest guy, nicest dude.
And he had this really high voice, right?
He was like, hey, how you doing?
I'm GNC, can I help you?
And I was like, oh, that doesn't fit the body, but okay.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm looking for a little
workout supplement, something that gives me
a little energy for the workout.
And you know, I don't wanna get,
I'm not looking to bulk up, but you know,
I'm looking to cut, not bulk, you know,
although I was using some terms because I was Googling it,
cut and bulk and all that other stuff.
Great, brother, I got some shit I could show you.
Listen, what you need is you need a double L, O, T, omega,
and then you need PLP, and then you need TTT,
and then you need 777 to create your pretend,
and then you create your team,
and you're up there, down there.
I left there with $500 worth of supplements.
Oh, you have to when you leave there.
Yes, I did. $500 worth of supplements, Oh, you have to when you leave there. Yes, I did.
$500 worth of supplements and I joined some membership,
30 day membership and then I was part of the cut club.
Yeah, and then I had to get the app
and then I downloaded it.
The cut club.
Yeah, I still, to this day,
in that fucking cabinet in the kitchen,
have some of that fucking great tea.
It's still sitting there, still to this day.
You might want to throw that out.
I would put it on my cereal.
Shredded wheat, nothing but shredded wheat.
Not the frosted shredded wheat.
The kind your grandma would eat, right?
And I'd put two of those big old shredded wheat,
so ones are like the size of a morning turd.
I'd put those things in a bowl.
I'd put a little bit of milk, water,
and then I'd put some powder on top of it. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever had things in a bowl. I'd put a little bit of milk water and then I put some powder on top of it
It was the most disgusting thing I've ever had my entire life and for like three months. I'd be like
I'd eat it and then I just lost a bunch of weight
I'll never forget that guy who sold me $500 worth of supplements
$380 of which is still in my cabinet to this day.
It's 10 years expired.
That's very good.
Yeah.
But man, he knew what he was talking about.
Niceest guy, nicest dude in the world.
Niceest dude in the world.
But I never in my life have I walked into a GNC or any of those supplement stores and
seen like an emo dude.
You know what I'm saying?
Like his hair half over one of his eyes and you know.
Right.
Hey, how you doing?
Cigarette.
I'm depressed.
How are you?
I'm good.
I'm looking to cut, not bulk.
Aren't we all looking to cut?
I'm looking to cut out of life.
Sorry, brother.
I think I came into the wrong.
I work at Sprouts at four.
Come see me.
I'll tell you some kale.
Just read an article that kale is a bunch of bullshit.
Do you know this?
What are you talking about?
Kale, kale, you know the fucking thing kale?
They have whole stores like kale me mama
and kale me this and kale me that
and there's like kale fruities and kale smoothies.
Kale is a garnish that Pizza Hut used to use
on their buffets.
I saw that. Somebody decided that-
No, Kale's very healthy though.
Don't spread misinformation because it's actually not.
It has a bunch of heavy metals in it and it's not, it doesn't
give you a lot of stuff.
Read about Kale.
I did some research after I saw a post because I was like,
this cannot be true because for three months I had a girl that I dated.
You know which one.
And she would literally paid $100 a week,
and she would, they would make you these kale smoothies
for the day, and then you'd have to go pick them up
fresh in the morning, and then you drink them in the afternoon.
They were the nastiest tasting things I've ever had.
But I did it with her because I wanted to have
babies with her, and then I did that with her, and I didn't feel any different really. I didn't.
I guess I felt like a placebo effect. Spinach is great. Spinach is great.
But then I saw this and I'm like that cannot be true. That cannot be true.
That kale is just like a bunch of roughage and it just doesn't do anything for your body.
And then I did a little research and I found that there are like legitimate scientists
out there who are like,
Kale's not gonna do anything for you.
You sure eat some, you know, have to have it,
but don't run your life around Kale.
So I'm sorry, this episode is sponsored by Kale Me Now,
the smoothie place.
Don't run your life around Kale.
Don't run your life around Kale.
I dated a girl who literally ran her life around Kale.
I was in a Kale cult for three months.
I was.
I was like, Kale, does that have kale in it?
Can I have eggs substitute the eggs with kale?
I'd like some kale bacon
and I'll take some kale wheat toast.
Do you have any kale hot sauce?
Kale!
It's the only thing that works. And guess what?
She was wrong.
And I was wrong.
But you know, I guess I didn't die.
So I guess that's okay.
That's good.
That's good news.
To whom?
To whom is that good news?
To the world.
Okay, thank you.
To Blue.
I keep alive.
All right, we'll be back
Well, thank the baby Jesus Brian took a breath and now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number
That's right. It's two one two four three three three
TCB and you can text us anytime you want or you can call them leave us a voicemail
And we might just use your message on the show. Once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of
course. Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on
Tiktok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on
tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors, so thank
G and here they are.
Okay, and we're back. So have you been watching the latest Love Is Blind?
No.
God damn it, Chrissy. What are we gonna talk about now?
Okay, well that's the end of the show. Thanks everybody.
I haven't, but why don't you fill me in? You have been filling me in anyways. God damn it, Chrissy. What are we gonna talk about now? Okay, well, that's the end of the show. Thanks, everybody.
I haven't, but why don't you fill me in? You have been filling me in anyways.
I've been kinda giving you the top line of it.
So spoiler alert, just in case anybody has not watched
the first eight episodes of Love is Blind,
I'm about to talk about it.
I mean, I think if you're a Love is Blind fan,
you've watched it.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I am a Love is Blind fan.
I gotta tell you, I think this is an ultra fascinating premise
and it really, I think human nature just unfolds
in weird ways in those pods.
Also, I think that there are people
that are certainly looking for the celebrity status.
Of course, on any of these shows.
Yeah, and I think after the first season, you've got to,
and maybe even in the first season,
but in the next season to follow in the second season of any popular reality show like dating show or any of these things,
you have to factor in that there are celebrity wannabes that are coming on that have the only intention in getting married or proposing to somebody or getting proposed to,
is so that they can get some moniker of fame, because most of those people do at least see their 15 minutes of fame,
especially if they end up going all the way the distance.
Right.
So in this latest season of Love is Blind,
an interesting thing has been happening
that I have not seen in other seasons
or not seen so much in other seasons,
or maybe they're just not showing it as much
in the first whatever it is four seasons.
Love is Blind this season has a lot of people talking about how they look, right?
Which is kind of defeats the fricking purpose
of love is blind.
You're supposed to be in a pod
where you don't see the other person for a period of time.
I think it's 14 days they have to date each other
in these pods or whatever.
Where you just get to know the other person.
It's all about personality.
Their likes, dislikes, faith, all of that stuff, yeah.
Everything, a lot like how Astrid and I met,
we had almost two months of just conversation, very,
I mean, we had pictures on Facebook and stuff like that.
So it's not, it wasn't totally blind,
but we got to know each other's personality
through conversations that we had on WhatsApp
or text message or whatever
This love is blind experiment quote unquote reality show
Experiment I love when they call it that the reality show it's supposed to be about
Nothing it's supposed to be everything but the looks yes But in this particular season they seem to be showing a lot of the couples are talking about looks inside of the pods.
Describe me, describe you.
You know, are you big?
Are you small?
Are you short?
Are you tall?
Are you fat?
Are you whatever?
And there's one particular couple that.
So let me try and explain this.
The guy's name is Jimmy, and he's falling in love with two separate women, right?
In the pods.
That's his words. Jimmy old Jimmy and Jimmy's got this D voice
Jimmy's got one of those I got big balls voice
You know the kind where the physiology just takes over like something in your brain goes
Oh, that's a man's man, right? My name is Jimmy
the big ball Jimmy
Testicle Jimmy. Big Johnson Jimmy.
Big Johnson Jimmy.
Jacked up Jimmy.
The kind of guy you find working at a GNC.
Hi, it's nice to meet you.
My name is Jimmy. I'm just here adjusting my testicles.
They're so big.
They put an extra table in here for my testicles.
I'm going to need a booth.
I'm going to need a booth.
I'm going to need a booth.
They just showed Jimmy with his nuts hanging on an ottoman.
It's nice to meet you.
My name is Jimmy.
It's nice to meet you.
My name is Jimmy. I'm going to need a booth. Jimmy with his nuts hanging on an Ottoman.
It's nice to meet you. My name is Jimmy.
You see two guys bringing like a forklift.
Just lift his balls up and put it on the Ottoman.
Thanks guys, I'll take it from here.
So Jimmy falls in love with these two women
and it's not hard to understand why these two women
fall for Jimmy.
Jimmy's a nice guy, he's pleasant to speak to.
What does he actually look like?
I can show you a picture of him.
It's the audience.
This defeats the purpose of the experiment, Chrissy.
Well, he just talked about, he's got the voice.
He does have the voice.
That where you think what he looks like.
Well, okay, everyone Google it.
Well, I'll Google it at the same time
if you haven't seen the show.
Jimmy, love is blind.
Okay, here we go.
Images.
Is he big balled, Jimmy?
Is he big Johnson?
According to the girl that he has now proposed to,
at least in the show,
big balled Jimmy does have big balls.
Okay.
Okay, that's him.
And that's the girl that he felt
that he ended up going way with.
Okay.
Okay.
So Jimmy falls in love with these two girls.
It is Jimmy.
Now I want to explain to you that one of the, you know, I'm saying this from Brian's point of view.
I don't know why, but I'm laughing about the t-shirt with the blazer.
Now look, yeah, that's my look too.
It's terrible.
That's not.
Oh, sometimes I do that.
It's terrible.
I don't know why I do it.
It looks like Don Johnson in the episode of Miami Vice.
Everything hold is new again.
Yeah, everything hold is new is good.
Okay, that's Jimmy and the girl that he proposed to.
Okay, now I'm going to show you Jimmy and the girl
that he fell, the other girl he fell in love with.
Okay.
So now you've got the comparison there, right?
Okay.
So this is from Brian's point of view.
I am not going to disparage how somebody looks,
but this is from my point of view.
There's one girl that he is falling in love with that is a princess for sure
She's like we got a very princess attitude. She's very sure of herself. She for cocksure. She tells Jimmy from the moment
That she makes the decision which is early on you are my one. I am talking to nobody else
This is it. This is the girl that I'm talking about that is kind of that he ended up with. No, the other girl. Oh, okay. And so, um, so she tells Jimmy right off the bat, you're my one,
you're my it. The other girl who he is falling in love with, who he ends up proposing to is also
in a love triangle. Okay, got it. No, Jessica and Chelsea So because you date a bunch of people so now you've got like a five-way triangle going on here
We're trying to figure who's okay the girl one girl is falling in love with another guy besides Jimmy and
Then Jimmy's falling in love with two girls. Yes, so
Something like that. So the one girl who he ends up proposing to whose name, I
just want to make sure I get this right because he both have...
So Chelsea, the girl that he ends up proposing to, Chelsea at some point in
the conversation, I think understanding that she has a little bit of
competition because now remember they all go back to this like, you know,
the sex pods and what I mean by the gender pods, right?
The girls go to the girls, the boys go to the boys.
They all go back and they can start talking
about who they're falling in love with,
but some play a game and don't say anything about anybody
because they don't want other people to know
who they're falling in love with.
But I think Chelsea understanding, or Jessica,
understanding that she has a little bit of competition,
Chelsea understanding that she's got a little bit
of competition, Chelsea starts goading Jimmy
into a conversation about how she looks.
And Jimmy says, well, that kind of defeats
the purpose of love is mine.
And she goes, yeah, you're right.
But he goes, but what do you look like?
And she says, well, I'm not gonna tell you what I look like,
but I'll tell you who I always get compared to.
I always, people always tell me I look like a certain celebrity.
And he's like, oh, you gotta tell me.
She plays coy for a minute.
No, no, no, no, that's not that funny,
the experiment, blah, blah, blah.
Knowing damn well she's gonna tell him anyway.
And then he says, you have to tell me.
You gotta tell me now.
Now you already said it.
You gotta tell me.
And she goes, well, I can't remember her name,
but it's the girlfriend of course she remembers the name.
If you look like a celebrity
and people tell you look like a celebrity,
you know exactly who that fucking person is.
And she says, it's the girlfriend of MGK,
Machine Gun Kelly, Megan Fox, right?
Now, when night, yes.
And Jimmy Stoneman just went,
BING!
AHHHHH!
AHHHHH!
Really?
ED, I haven't.
AHHHHH!
He lights up like a Christmas tree, right?
And he's like, yes, yes, yes, yes.
He's making these motions in the background.
That's a red part of her that looks like a Megan Fox.
Yeah, if there's just one part of her
that looks like Megan Fox, I'm in.
Now, she says that some people might say
because she has brown hair or, you know, dark hair,
dark eyes that she does have some resemblance to Megan Fox.
I do not see it at all.
And, but it's very possible, I guess, that she has
been told this by other people out there in the world, right? Oh my gosh, you look like
Megan Fox.
Might be like her face shape.
Maybe you're right about that. I'm trying to look for the angle throughout the show,
and I don't see it. Astrid says sometimes she's like, but I think if you look hard enough,
we all look like somebody.
Like I think I look like Megan Fox in some way.
Yes, I do.
Yes, with my Irish ass.
And my pee.
And sometimes you wear like a chain link outfit.
I do, mesh, yes, with my hair.
Can't see my nipples because my hair is covering it, but.
So, but it's like a jaw dropping moment
where I think for everybody in the audience,
we're like, what?
No, like that's not true
because it becomes a viral sensation.
Now everybody is talking about
how this girl clearly does not look like Megan Fox.
Some people are-
Misrepresenting herself.
Yeah, and it's the fucking internet.
So of course a lot of people are very mean about it.
And I'm not here to be mean about it.
I'm here just to share that I don't think
she looks like Megan Fox.
However, the girl that he did not date,
the girl who said, Jimmy, you're my number one
from the beginning, I think she more resembles
Megan Fox than the other girl.
So now we're up to episode number eight.
We're up to episode number eight yet, so we don't know what the conclusion is, but when
they get introduced to each other-
Because he proposed, yeah.
...he proposed, when they get introduced to each other, Jimmy is in a cutaway and he says,
well, you know, she didn't lie to me about one thing, she doesn't look like Megan Fox,
right? And then the, is this a fucking one
in these boys again over here?
I swear to God, really?
Honestly.
Mow in the dirt.
They were just here two days ago.
They're mowing the dirt at my house again.
This is fucking insane.
This derails the show every fucking time.
I don't know why I hire these guys.
They're fired. What are we doing guys?
What did you say last time you were like, could you are you charging me? Yes, I said are you charging me every time you show up?
That's right
Why are you wasting your gas to come here and mow the dirt?
There's no grass outside.
It's the middle of winter.
The leaves have fallen. There's no grass.
Nothing needs cutting or cleaning.
It looks immaculate out there.
What are you doing?
This is bad business. This is bad business.
I gotta talk to Juan. You should talk to him. I gotta is bad business. I gotta talk to one
I gotta talk to one I gotta go out front talk to one
So so she obviously does not look like machine gun Kelly now machine gun Megan Megan Fox
So this there obviously is no resemblance between a Megan Fox and this girl or to most people there's no resemblance. So the internet goes fucking crazy.
So much so that this girl has to write Megan Fox
and apologize to her for all of the scrum
that she has caused around Megan Fox.
Like she was like, I'm sorry, I should never have said that.
Whatever, please forgive me.
I think it's just like, to me, it's in,
it's a little bit nutty.
Did Megan Fox get involved?
No, but Megan's Fox sister did.
And Megan Fox sister replied to her apology and said,
hey, listen, I got you girl.
You know, I see it, I got you.
Which was very sweet of Megan Fox's sister, very sweet.
Megan Fox has so far not chimed in
because I think Megan Fox even goes,
you don't look like what are you fucking talking about?
You don't look anything like me. Oh, yeah, yeah, she's, she's, she's, uh, you know, superstar.
She is a bona fide superstar. I don't know why. I don't know what she's done lately, but you know, it's okay.
She's married Machine Gun Kelly.
So Machine Gun Kelly, and this like leads me to this next conversation about machine gun Kelly
Did you see the tattoo that he got yes the black?
I didn't see it, but I read about it
Okay, he got a tattoo from neck down halfway to his belly of
Just black ink all the way down his arms
Oh all the way over his shoulders over his chest right down to his almost belly button of just black ink
Literally looks like someone spilled ink on him and it didn't get cleaned up, which is just insane
What do you I mean is that I don't know I mean I'm not a tattoo guy
So I don't want to cast dispersions, but that seems to me to be one of the
Dumber things to get tattooed on your body. I read something about it covered up some of the ones that he had
But I didn't realize it was just all black. It's all black
Like color on top of that. He's trying to start fresh. Yeah, maybe I don't know. Yeah, maybe all right
Dogs barking
Shit in the background. I don't know what we're doing.
We're fighting for our lives.
We're fighting for our lives.
We're just trying to do a show here.
This is why you tune in, isn't it?
The ADHD nature of
Chrissy and Brian
and Juan, apparently.
This is insane.
I swear to God, it's insane. How many times have I talked to this guy about this i can't i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i Oh man, well okay, you know, it's the commercial break.
What are you gonna do?
We're still the big little show that never could.
Check it, check it, check it, check it, check it, check it, check it.
I give up.
Two forward, one back.
Two forward, four backwards.
We're not making any progress
we still got one interrupting the show this is why we need a professional
studio up in some high-rise somewhere yes we do
but of course we did a whole interview with hannah and she had like
construction going on in her apartment she did
the noisiest interview in the commercial break yeah she did she was
and it was nice of her to come so i'm not complaining at all
all right what you do is you go to TCB podcast calm
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All right, Chrissy, that's definitely all I'm gonna do from right now until I talk to Juan.
I think so.
Alright, but I love you.
I love you too.
Best to you.
Best to you.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time you cut your grass, Chrissy and I will say, we do say and we must say,
Goodbye! Music You