The Commercial Break - The Great Cornholio!
Episode Date: September 29, 2023Why-a you stealing all those chickens?! From cornhole to Mountain Monsters, Bryan & Krissy "stay ready" for anything. Get yer nuts here! Professional cornhole Footgolf? The drama of having children B...ecoming your parents Redocaster reset Krissy’s dad is getting on facebook Bryans tiktok troubles How is it already october? No better time for Mountain Monsters! Its giving party in the cornfield Coyote or donkey STAY READY Dont want blood on this corn! Chicken massacre Let’s make a trsp boys! The wild woman or the why-a woman? You cant even caption this shit Got a twinkle in yer tinkle LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**
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I don't give a goddamn half-time slam or whatever, it don't matter to me because I'm about dead anyway, so what I give a shit
What the hell do I care? I don't
If nobody can take me like I am, make me happy, just like God damn myself
On this episode of the commercial break they've literally building a cage, like a dark trap, for a woman.
Who is the wild woman? What is this?
I'm like a little raw chicken breast.
Yeah, put a raw chicken there, because she hung up 12 raw chickens last night.
Seems like she's really into them.
Get yourself a butter ball, put it over there.
Thanks,giving time.
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Hey, let's go on the groundball!
Oh yeah, Kazoo Gins, welcome back to the commercial break, I'm Brian Green, Chris! Best of you, Brian! Best of you out there in the podcast universe.
Thanks for coming on board!
Woo!
Oh, the bug!
Oh, the bug!
Yeah!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
I was laughing with my sister.
Oh my god, that's too funny.
I was thinking about it too.
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Something came up, you know what I mean?
I was like, get your hot butt, nuts!
Get your hot butt, fiend!
Out the head! Don't touch no man's nuts until you get mine!
That's...
Get these nuts!
Hooray!
Hooray!
Hot boiled and ready to go!
These...
That's... Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- So warm and salt air get your warm and salt is here
Go ahead son reach down in the get you some warm and salt is
They'd do it over parents need permission
Oh, fun with the guys from the ballpark, you know that guy that one dude who runs around the ballpark
And you're like Jesus Christ I just want to watch the game
Who wants a foot long man? I'll throw it to you
Yeah, they throw it. Yeah, they throw it to you. Yeah, they throw it.
Yeah, they throw it to you.
They cut that shit out of the ballpark right here
because somebody got a hurt by a guy
who was famously throwing peanuts for years.
He would throw a bag of peanuts.
It was his gig.
This was his thing.
He was famous for this.
Everybody loved him.
He was like a staple at the old turner field
and people loved him.
And then it's all fun and
game to someone gets an eye knocked out by flying nuts.
Get these flying nuts, hell!
Look out for these nuts, ma'am!
Here they go!
Are you looking?
Oh, he was the best.
That guy was the best.
I think he's still working.
I just don't think he's chimp throwing up. I don't think he's going to be able to. Are you looking? Oh my God. Oh, he was the best.
That guy was the best.
Yeah, I think he's still working.
I just don't think he's going to throw in.
I don't think he's going to either.
Oh, and postseason baseball is right around the corner.
Love these postseason baseball.
The Braves are really good this year.
They really are.
It's been great.
I'll do it by the time this airs.
They'll have won the World Series,
but whatever it cares.
You heard it here last.
Now, the commercial break.
The only place you could stay up to date
on what happened yesterday.
Yeah, the bracelet doing really good.
I get excited about the boys of summer
turning into the boys of fall.
That makes me excited.
College football's on the, on the,
it's out there doing whatever it does.
There are so many fucking college football games.
Yeah. Over the last couple of years, like I don't know cause there's whatever it does. There are so many fucking college football games. Yeah. Over the last couple of years, I don't know because there's so many channels.
Yeah, that's the other thing too, is that so many of these channels have bought broadcast
rights for college football all sports.
Because you can go online and in any given time, there is some kind of sport being played
24 hours.
It seems like live 24 hours a day.
I know. I turned on the TV this morning. There was volleyball.
I was watching cornhole tournament last night.
A cornhole tournament, a cornhole tournament.
Like, you know, hipsters with, you know, twisty moustaches, like
food man shoes, and they're doing cornhole with a beer in their hand for
like a $100,000 prize.
And they're really good at it too, which is surprising to me.
I mean, maybe not surprising me to it for sure. Yeah, which is surprising to me. I mean, they're maybe not surprising me. There's a technique to it for sure.
Yeah, but is it a sport for you?
You win $100,000?
I guess so.
If it was a sport where you were at $100,000,
I would have paid a lot more attention
to drink a lot more beer around that cornhole.
That was always too, yeah.
I'd like playing cornhole,
but I was got distracted by the things that were around me,
the beer, the girls, the drugs.
You know, the important things that usually are at a party,
not that corn, I remember the first time
I saw a cornhole thing and they were like,
come on outside play cornhole with me.
And I'm like, cornhole, the fuck kind of party is this.
But hey, I'm up for anything, whatever.
I'll bring the loop.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's where you throw bean bags in a hole.
And I'm like, bean bags in a hole.
What do we three?
Is this boso the clown time?
What the fuck are we doing?
And I got hooked pretty instantaneously.
Yeah, you do. you get hooked pretty quickly.
But Cornhole, keepy-uppy, the balloon game.
That's now a thing.
Remember, we reviewed that.
Years ago, they're still doing that.
And now it's like bigger than ever.
There's foot golf.
Have you heard of foot golf?
No.
It's where you take a soccer ball and you play golf
on a modified golf course.
I actually reached out to the guy about a year ago.
I thought about having him on the show
and then I thought, no, we don't do good
with that kind of thing.
So, we don't do good with that kind of thing.
But you actually take a soccer ball
on a modified short course, and you kick the ball instead of,
so it's like soccer and golf combined.
And the person who does it in the least amount of kicks,
then wins that hole.
I'm assuming it's a bigger hole.
Oh, it's a bigger hole, Chrissy.
That corn hole is really big.
You know what I'm saying?
So it's fascinating.
But this is a sport that I've seen televised.
Folly balls all over the place this weekend.
And I watched a volleyball game, Nebraska against somebody.
You remember how we talked about a couple of weeks ago,
Nebraska had the largest, I think it was Nebraska,
had the largest ever crowd for a volleyball game.
It was like a hundred thousand people.
Do you remember this?
I watched that.
Those fucking kids go crazy for that Nebraska volleyball team,
that the women's volleyball team.
No, no, Nebraska too.
I guess there's not much to do up there.
It's a Husking Corn.
So and volleyball and volleyball
You do one of those two things. Yeah, but I'm traditionally not been like a sports guy. You know this about me
I'm not a sports guy. I'm too
Distractable. I'm too in my own head. I'm I want to look at a mirror rather than watch somebody else play something
So I've always loved golf. We've always liked baseball. I've always liked lot of golf. I've always liked baseball. I've always liked March Madness.
I like it when there's actual like stakes,
when the stakes are high.
I'm not interested in the regular,
I don't get too interested in the regular games.
I get interested when it comes down to like play offs
or championships or something like that.
But I tried for one minute, just to be a man
and fucking watch some college football this weekend.
And I could not do it.
I could not keep up with all the coming
and goings of all the football players.
I just couldn't.
I was like, wow, there's 300 games on which one do I watch?
And then as if not like totally paralyzed by the situation,
then not only do you have to look for the game
that's actually interesting, right?
But then you have to watch a lot of it.
It's like four hours of it.
So, you know, people always ask me.
I need to pick a team.
And then follow that team.
Yeah, but if I pick a team that I'm one of those guys,
the team guys, you know what I'm saying?
We got to dinner last night,
and there's this woman in this man sitting right next to us.
I get 12 children.
Yes, you do.
Whenever I go out to eat, it's difficult.
It's not easy about going out to eat. Because you know
that there's good story about that too. It's just like the second the kids sit down and
see that they're going to have to be stuck somewhere for longer than three and a half minutes.
They instantaneously get the wiggles and they have to go somewhere else. Luckily we're outdoors.
There's a big outdoor area where they can play. That's good. Smart thinking on the restaurant.
Smart thinking. It's great restaurant. It's great restaurant for families. It's great restaurant in a
half fall afternoon like this. But the waitress in her infinite wisdom was like she had pushed
two, three tables together for us. But one of them we really didn't need. It was like a little
small two person table with a couch on the back. So she pulls that table off to the side. I'm
going to say no more than a foot and a half.
So these people are literally sitting on top of us.
Well, one of my daughters, who is Simone Biles in Carnate,
decides that she is going to practice the Pommel Horse
in between the two tables.
Do you know what I'm thinking?
You know what I'm saying?
Okay?
So she's flipping her legs all over the place.
Every time she starts wiggling the table,
this guy's wide and spills over.
God. But they are the sweetest about this. I mean, they are so fucking sweet about you could not have
asked for a better, better people to be right next to you when you have this kind of drama going on.
So I keep some apologizing. I keep telling Mono my daughter, get off the moment,
then he's not, god damn it, this isn't what are you doing? This isn't London 2020,
like you got to get off the thing. You can't do this here.
Why?
Why?
Because they're trying to eat and you're spilling their wine.
Why?
I don't know why physics.
Now stop it, just stop it.
Now I know.
When my parents used to say to me because I said so,
I'm getting real close to because I said so.
Because I don't care anymore.
I'm getting real close to I said so.
I try not to do it, but I'm getting there, I'm getting close.
I try and explain why they can't, they can't do things.
But my daughter is swear to God, she's flipping up her legs in the air, she's got both of her
arms on the table, she's flipping her legs.
I go to, so of course, in the second that we sit down, everyone has the poo poo, right?
Poop poo.
Poop poo, poop poo, poop poo.
Whether your end diapers are out of diapers, you have to poo poo.
It says if the smell of food makes their little guts turn into,
like, I don't know.
It's like an airlock that just opens the second that we sit down
at a restaurant where for five fucking seconds,
I just want to sit and talk to other adults, right?
You can, and you can smell like the little poots
that are going on, you have to poop, poop, poop.
I'm like, oh God, yeah, poopoo, let's go.
Then we go, I gotta go into the bathroom.
And you know, why is there only women
coming out of the men's bathroom?
Why is there a man's bathroom?
Why is there a family bathroom?
And I'm like, I don't know, it's 2023,
things are complicated, son, I don't know.
We don't need to talk about this now.
So I get my, one of my boys in there.
Okay, I get my boy in there and you know,
he's touching everything.
He's like licking the toilet seat basically, right?
And I'm like, son, don't do that.
Don't do what?
Don't put your hands on the toilet seat
and put it on your mouth.
Why not?
Yeah.
Because there's lots of germs.
I have germs.
Everybody has germs.
But I touch the toilet seat at home.
It's different.
It's our family germs.
Family germs are okay. Outside germs not okay. We don't know where those germs have been.
We don't know where those germs have been. We know where our germs have been. We don't know where they're germs have been.
That's why you gotta do it. Sit down. Okay done. Yep. Wipeers, but then I take one of my girls into the bathroom.
Because now she has to poo poo too. I take her. Dad, why are we going in the boys' bathroom? Because I quite frankly, I think it's the cleaner of the two.
I know, no, we're just gonna go into the boys' bathroom.
Because I'm a boy and that's where we're going, okay?
So, you know, closer to one of those single toilets,
I swear on all this holy,
never seen anything so ungodly come out of a child
of my entire life.
She was a monster.
And then I couldn't flush it down.
No!
I know, I was like, oh, you're so small.
Why did you do that? Where did that come from? Was that here when we got here? Cause I'm
pretty sure I flushed the toilet. Did that come back up from the toilet? What is that?
Did that come from the toilet next door? It literally floated up? I'm not sure.
What's going on?
Oh, my God, Chrissy.
And then I'm just like, and there's a line
of outside the door, of course.
And I'm like, OK, here we go.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
There's no utensil or instrument to do anything about it.
And then, of course, the girl is gawking at it.
She's like, that, he look.
And I'm like, yeah, I'd be proud of that, too.
If we were at home, and I had a plunger or something. So then we go, we wipe their butts,
we come back, I was like, okay, so while we're in the bathroom, I'm walking back up on
this little pavilion that's outside where we're sitting and eating in this covered area.
And I can see my daughter is doing this whole number again, right? And these people are trying their best to ignore what's going on.
They're trying their best.
But I watch my daughter, she flips up, she does a little kick, and the wine glass just
goes, it just flies across the table onto the guy who is wearing a white.
No, solid red Georgia bulldogs.
Oh, okay, okay, yeah.
So now two things are running through my mind right now.
Number one, gotta pay for that warrant, right?
Number one, I gotta get in the new wine.
And number two, I'm gonna have to make small talk
with these people because I gotta smooth this over.
We can't go another hour just sitting here
on comfortably in silence, knowing that my daughter
is kinda being a little rat ball. And ratball and you know how about them dogs exactly
exactly and now I get this oh yeah travers me at the foretouch down the
FACed adding to running back quarterback to the hard four yards extra
downs is batting average is three thousand and I'm like this is me
Chrissy it's amazing isn't't it? It's amazing.
So much better than we expected, huh?
Yeah, I mean, come on, mate, what more could he ask for?
And I'm like, I don't know.
I honestly, we got the best, we got the best.
What can I say?
You know, we're doing so good.
I don't know a fucking thing that's going on with Georgia football.
I just, he just keeps talking to me.
It's great.
He keeps on saying yes.
So I think at one point, he kind of caught on
that I didn't know what I was talking about.
He said something about one of the linebackers
and forget about it.
Once he get into linebackers,
this past quarterback on Mount, right?
It's like talking about the linebackers.
And rushing percentages or, you know, averages
or something like that.
And I was like, yeah, man, I mean, listen,
that's, we're so solid on that side of the ball.
And he was like, uh, he was like, what?
And I was like, well, I don't like,
my brothers are bigger.
We got my brother on the phone.
He's a really big Jordan fan.
You want to talk to him?
Yeah, let's get him on speaker.
So he called, he called onto my bullshit,
stop talking to me after a while.
So I just bought him dinner all together.
It's just, yeah, he put you in it there.
Yeah, they were super sweet, super sweet.
That's so nice.
As much as I'm sure you love listening to Brian Drone On, we really do have some bills
to pay.
Like my salary, so go to tcbpodcast.com to find all of our audio and video.
Check out our Instagram at the commercial break, our TikTok at tcbpodcast, and of course
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continue to have a job.
We'll speaking of good-out to this weekend, my sister came in town without the kids.
Just the two of us sister weekend.
We had so much fun.
We perused all the fun, the fun trendy, like bars and restaurants around town and we had
a great time but we laughed because we walked into this one place and they were like, yeah,
just let us know.
We've got this high top here or you could sit at the bar and I like I like sitting at the bar and eating. Sure. A lot of times too. Yeah.
You know, this is two of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, Kelly, you know, which one would
you want to take? She was like, I don't get the option to choose either one of these. I go
out of here usually. Yeah. Whatever you want. Yeah. I never considered the bar or the high top.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
I was like, that's true.
Yeah, when you have the little kids.
It is so difficult.
It's a big deal.
It's a big deal.
It's a big deal.
But here's what Asher and I agreed to long before we had children.
And I'm kind of glad that we did.
You can't stop doing the things that you like to do.
You got the kids got to learn. And they don't, but you can pretend that they do.
The kids have to learn to adjust to your lifestyle to some degree, right?
Kids, well, it doesn't matter.
You have one kid, half a kid, three kids, I don't care.
Your whole life is going to change.
Nothing is ever going to be the same, but you can bring some sense of normalcy, and it's
the only way to treat them,
like to get them to a point where they understand
how to behave, you have to put them in the situation,
right, and then you gotta guide them.
Well, that usually ends up me just yelling
at the end of it.
That ends up with me asking for the check.
Why, it's so bad.
I asked for the check before the food comes sometimes.
I'm like, I'll take the check.
She's like, your food hasn't come,
and I'm like, I know, but I just wanna be ready
as soon as it does.
Yeah, we're gonna take five to go boxes in the check
if you don't mind.
I hate it.
I've already paid for four people's dinners.
I need to get out of here.
But the reality is the kids, they do adjust.
You know they say there's an old saying,
if your kids are well behaved, they're well behaved when you're not around.
So the old adage is, like you have them here 24 hours a day, they're always around you
and sometimes they drive you up a wall because that's what kids do, that's what they're
supposed to do.
They're built by that, they're built like that, that's by design.
But then we always get these reports back when we send the children to a school
or a school function or with family members
or whatever.
We get these reports back.
They were so lovely.
They were just so nice, so polite.
We took my son, one of my sons somewhere
and the person who had been watching him
is like a whatever.
She was like, your kid is so polite.
He said, please, he said, thank you.
And I was like, fuck he is.
You got the right report there.
You look at it the right notes over there because I don't think that's true.
But I'm proud of them because I think that they're they're playing when they have to be.
Yes, they're picking up on now.
I see what my dad said. You know, Chrissy, every fucking thing that my dad said
was true to some degree.
I am turning into my father by necessity.
And now I understand.
It's a long, slow process, but it happens.
And then one day you wake up and you realize that telling your kids, because I said so,
not a bad thing.
Right.
I'll bring back that corporal punishment.
What's up with that?
I have too much of a nini to actually do corporal punishment now.
You guys are really grandparents.
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
That's we try that.
Every 15 minutes you see us with our children,
we say, okay, Chrissy's here, become.
Yeah.
Companies over, become. Yeah. with our children, we say, okay, Chrissy's here, become.
Companies over, become.
Speaking of kids, you know, if you can't see, but in the studio here, we have a million
boxes over there in the corner.
And the reason is that we are changing the studio completely.
We feel like it's time to up the game in our technology department, which right now is basically
7,000 wires duct tape super glue. I think I have guerrilla glue on electronics around here. I swear to god
I do. I know I have posts that's holding things together. I mean there's a there is a wire bundle
under this carpet upon which I just don't even look at. You remember in the movie never ending story?
A tray you is walking through those two.
The sphinx.
Topless sphinxes, yeah.
First time ever saw boobies, I love that part.
They were beautiful boobies, though.
They were beautiful boobies, weren't they?
They were, they were like, made of sand.
I know.
And like, icy blue or something?
I don't remember.
There's a great tits.
It's a mess for eyes, too.
And it was a movie everybody went and saw.
You know, why are we also upset about tits now?
It's a tits.
But they were great tits.
They were.
And I loved that movie for that reason.
They were great tits.
So he walks through and the turtle says to him,
when you go through that sphinx,
don't look at this thing.
You cannot show fear.
Fear is the mind killer.
If they sense that you have fear in your heart,
they're gonna light up and they're gonna destroy you
and that's what they almost did.
They have to run away, the laser eyes.
That's right, those were crystal blue, I remember that.
Those were beautiful too.
That is the wire bundle that is sitting
under this carpet right now.
Because if I open it up and they smell fear,
they're gonna explode.
We have a computer that's on fire,
it's running like a thousand degrees right now. We have to make some changes to the technology
that goes on in this studio
if we ever wanna do anything else.
And I don't even think it's holding the show together
right now.
So I'm in here working on this whole thing.
We have all these boxes,
we're getting stuff organized over the weekend.
And my kids come trolling in, right?
And I know it's a hard thing to be in this studio for a child.
Why?
Because every single thing lights up, there are buttons,
there are microphones, headsets, televisions,
there's, it's a children's delight in here.
Remote.
Yes.
The one place in the house that probably the children
would have the most fun is 100% off limits to them.
Yes.
And so anytime the door cracks just a little bit and they can get in, they get it.
On occasion, on occasion, depending on my mood and the circumstances, on occasion,
I will allow them in to play around, right?
When I say play around, I mean, don't touch anything, look at anything or talk to me.
But if you can have fun besides that, knock yourself out.
One of the kids gets in the chair,
and I'm like, okay, just listen,
put it on the headset,
but don't touch the buttons on the board.
That's very important.
That's how daddy makes a living.
AKA, that's how daddy keeps getting us in debt.
And so I say don't touch anything on this board.
And then as soon as you just say that to anybody, I think it's human nature. And so I say don't touch anything on this
And then as soon as you just say that to any man,
I think it's human nature.
It even adults like don't do that.
You want the thing you cannot have.
Yeah, I should have never said anything.
I should have said touch all the buttons all the time
and then it would have never been a problem.
I'm sitting there working, I don't know, maybe it's 15 minutes tops
but I keep on looking back, right?
But I can sense that something's going wrong.
I don't know what it is, but I can sense that something's going wrong. I don't know what it is, but I can sense
that something's going wrong.
So I stand up, I tell all the kids,
I say, okay kids, let's get out of here
and let's go do something else.
I come back later on in the evening
and wouldn't you fucking know it, Chrissy?
I had heard a weird song playing through the Roadcaster
and I was like, I don't remember having
that song in the Roadcaster,
but I'm not really sure how it works anyway.
So I'm just gonna leave it alone,
but when I go to do a commercial,
I realize that the Roadcaster has been factory reset.
Oh my God.
My kid factory reset the entire Roadcaster
upon which we, it's the brain center of the,
some people think Brian's the brain center?
No, not even Chrissy, it's the roadcaster.
The roadcaster's not working, no one's working.
Right.
So my kid, factory reset this fucking thing that took us four months
and two separate microphone experts to put in touch.
And of course, I have no notes anywhere
on exactly what the settings were.
I can just hear in my kids' head while I was sitting
at that thing.
Daddy's gonna love this. I'm gonna do this. All these buttons. Oh look at this pretty red
button it says delete. Yes. Are you sure? Absolutely. Look there. Look how big I've gotten. See
just over here helping you do some work. Oh look it's all zeros. Dad is that a good thing?
No. Oh well I just try to help. There you clean up the shit storm. I'm gonna go poop When you do some work! Oh look, it's all zeroes, Dad! Is that a good thing? No!
Well, I just try to help.
There, you clean up the shit storm.
I'm gonna go poop, poo, poo, see ya later!
Ha!
Ha!
We can hear his little head running around.
That's a big boy now.
I get to help Daddy!
Look at all this.
Ha!
But Daddy then had to spend four fucking hours putting
everything back in this roadcaster.
Oh, well, freshened it up with some new sounds.
So I could have freshened it up with a new host here pretty soon.
Is that what I'm going to do?
Chris, are you ready?
I keep saying that you need to get like a clear box type thing that goes over it, like
a cover of some sort.
Yeah, that's not a bad idea.
That's a fun ther-
Some people are the brain in their head would have thought about that a long time ago.
Like you know those typewriter covers?
Yes.
But like a metal cover with a lock on it.
Yes.
Ah, daddy put a box on the pretty thing.
Okay.
Well, let's use all the codes he uses throughout the entire house
on his phone, on the front door, and on every website.
Let's use the other, open right up.
Ha ha.
Let's press that big red button again.
Do you think?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
Everything will be lost.
No problem.
Daniel fixed it.
Ha ha ha.
The kids would figure that out too.
They'd have to get in my phone and the front door and the safe.
They'd have to get into everything.
Hahaha.
God damn, dude.
I know what my dad went through now.
I know what my dad went through.
I'm starting to feel a lot of empathy for my parents because I see that just a little
bit of, like a little bit of mischievousness, a little bit of smarts,
those two mixed together in a child that's not very old
under the age of 10 is really a dangerous thing.
Yes.
Yeah, there's nothing easy about it.
I feel like, you know how I'm always saying that
blue is my worst behave child.
Blue's getting a run for her money right now.
Blue might actually be the one in the house
that's safe from my vengeance.
Well, Blue can't push the buttons.
No, Blue can't, well, Blue could push the buttons
if I put it down low enough for her.
If I put this down on the floor,
Blue would definitely have it in shreds.
She would lay it on the limit.
That's right.
Blue would have her own show.
But her own keeps telling me,
get, get, you gotta get your dog on Instagram, man.
Yeah. That's where it's at.
And I'm like, the fuck I'm gonna get my dog. I could barely get 1,000 people to pay got to get your dog on Instagram man That's where it's at and I'm like the fuck I'm gonna get my dog
I could barely get a thousand people to pay attention to the commercial break on Instagram
What am I dog gonna do and then this guy was telling me he has a Instagram page his own personal Instagram page
There's 300 people on it 300 followers. That's it his dog has an Instagram page
There's almost 300,000 followers on that page
It is literally nothing but dog pictures of this dog.
People have cute dogs.
To the tune of 300,000 people, isn't that crazy?
Yeah.
Do you want updates on dogs?
I don't give a shit about the updates about people.
Why would I care about the dogs?
Well, dogs are kind of neutral.
The dogs aren't gonna make you feel jealous.
That's true.
Of some people who are politics.
There's no politics.
There's no religion.
Yeah.
There's the endopologics religion.
Well, maybe we should all have just,
maybe we should just all be dogs on Instagram.
It's dogs.
Yeah.
Wouldn't the world be a better place if we just had dogs
on social media?
Yeah.
Because social media is trash.
And I've been through this.
I'm not going to go through it again,
but I'm done with Facebook.
I don't even know what Facebook is anymore.
Facebook is just a cesspool of awfulness and nonsense.
There's really nothing interesting happening on Facebook.
Speaking of my dad yesterday,
I think I'm gonna get a Facebook page.
Because who's on there and I go,
it's kind of for older people actually.
Chris, I have made a decision. I am getting on my space. So, it's kind of for older people, actually.
Chris, I have made a decision.
I am getting on my space.
I know.
It's like, we're kind of late to the game, okay?
That's right.
Play around with it, I don't know.
I'm gonna respond to Clippy next time he comes on the computer.
That's me if I need help.
I found a friend I've been talking to somebody.
Oh, really, Dad, who is it?
Guy named Clippy.
He's helping me with all my documents.
Nice gentleman.
Your dad's gonna get on.
I know I know I didn't want to make him feel too bad, but he was like, you know what we'll
be watching the news and so and so has a Facebook page and they say, go good, the recipe
that we just showed you on my Facebook page.
I was telling him to go to Facebook page?
I guess that's true.
I mean, I don't know.
What news channel is he watching where there's recipes?
The old one.
Hey, old people's one.
Well, to be fair to your father, who's a young and
spry man?
Yes.
But to be fair to him, Facebook is the place for his age group.
Yes.
Because that's all that's left.
To park people over 65, bitching and complaining
about politics and religion.
And that's it.
And I don't want anything to do with it quite frankly.
Oh, no.
It's my friend who's gone on tour.
My friend who just, like, it's a constant,
it's a stream of consciousness conversation going on
about how awful his life is 24 hours a day.
And then occasionally pictures that people just,
they like a photo dump like an
album dump yeah and I'm not really all that interested in it you know so I'm not and I'm not sure any of the
social media platforms are any much better but I choose Instagram and Tik Tok over Facebook now yeah
you have Instagram and Tik Tok I do I do you have Instagram you have Tik Tok hmm I probably know that one
huh you know tell everybody Chrissy I know I don I don't. I am incognito in TikTok.
You're incognito?
Yeah, well, I mean, I'm not,
I don't, I follow like two people and they're chefs.
You're getting recipes on TikTok?
No, just in case I had to get it
in case someone sends me something on TikToks
and then I can look at it.
And I like to look at art TikTok.
Yeah, art TikToks good. If anybody would follow it, it would be better. can look at it. And I like to look at our TikTok. Yeah, our TikTok's good. Yeah.
If anybody would follow it, it would be better.
I'm following it.
We have a ton of likes, but we have nobody that follows.
We have like 200 followers.
And I think we got like three or 4,000 likes, which is good.
But it's like, if you like the content,
but you won't follow me, I guess it's not that good, isn't?
I guess I'm not doing that great.
I mean, I feel complemented by the heart, but you know,
Can you go one extra step and just press follow? I would appreciate it.
This is why we're so bad at social media.
People are like, that part was kind of funny, but I checked out the rest of the page and I'm not interested in giving you an actual follow.
It takes work. It does. It takes a lot of work. Yeah. Luckily, we have
somebody else that cuts the clips for it. Sorry, I just post them. Yeah. Instagram, we seem to be doing
a touch better. We finally made it over a couple thousand followers. Oh, good. So. Thank you for
the follow. You're welcome. Speaking of things that are monsters, it's October. We're here. We're
in October. You know what that means? Halloween time. I saw my first Christmas commercial the other day
First Christmas commercial. It was oh, I just want to say who it was. Was it Folgers? I think it was Folgers
And they had a Christmas commercial. I think it was Folgers and they had a Christmas commercial. It's it's the first week in October
Christmas
Pretty soon and there are some countries. Remember the Philippines,
like the Philippines celebrates Christmas year round. A lot of people do in the Philippines.
Pretty soon in the United States of America, Easter is going to be the line of demarcation
for Christmas. I can't believe how early Christmas comes. October, first week in October.
Really? I know. It's crazy. I think it was last weekend that I got a text message from a company that I bought stuff
from before and they were like, it's 100 days till Christmas.
Oh my god.
Don't forget it like you're present.
Yeah, how can I forget?
One time a year, I'll use all the money I've managed to save.
Yeah, it's 100 degrees outside.
It's so weird.
Listen, but honestly, I'm not complaining.
I love Christmas time. I love Christmas time.
I love it too.
But I do need there to be a little bit of a break in the weather
before I'll actually feel Christmasy.
Like when you still wearing shorts and sandals out,
it just doesn't feel very Christmasy to me.
I don't know what people in Florida do, you know?
Yeah, they celebrate.
I've actually spent Christmas down in Florida before in Naples.
And they still celebrate, you know. Christmas fancy. Florida before in Naples and they'd still celebrate, you know,
Chris is fancy.
She goes to Naples.
Naples, Palm Scream, West Palm, the Hamptons.
But I will say this, I do know from certain people that I know, mainly Corona advertisements
and magazines that you can put christmas lights
like the fair bottle with the hat
and i like the one where it's like that
it's dark like the sun is setting there's a palm tree
that i like the christmas lights
and i have a little christmas song good for corona i like that one that was a good one
but anyway speaking of halloween
it's right around the corner at least those
companies want you to think it is
halloween star wants you to think it is it's right around the corner, at least those companies want you to think it is. Halloween store wants you to think it is.
It's right around the corner, what a better time.
And honestly, there is a little bit of a break
in the weather.
At night, it gets a little bit chilly.
And then by chilly, I mean 62 degrees,
which is chilly than nobody.
But that's how cold I like it in my house when I'm sleeping.
So I figured what a better time,
what a better moment to come back
and visit one of our favorite
ghosty, ghoul-y-type things.
Oh, are you ready?
I think I know what I'm talking about.
And you know what I'm talking about there
in the podcast universe.
It is time for Chrissy and Brian to revisit
some of our old friends, the Mountain Monsters.
That's right. Everybody loves it. Everybody knows it the mountain monsters
I found a compilation video. Puck, Puck, Puck, Chuck. I don't know. Look.
And a good friend Billy the camera guy. Oh, Shucks guys. I don't really know what you want me to do
You say you want me to film the monsters, but if we don't really have any monsters, so what do you want me to do?
What's that? Just point it down the ground and shake't really have any monsters, so what do you want me to do?
What's that?
Just point it down the ground and shake it like this?
Oh, okay.
Whatever you guys want.
You let me know if there's an actual monster so I can run in the opposite direction.
I'd appreciate it.
Thanks so much, guys!
You know I hate interrupting Brian when he's yammering, but he's always yammering, so
it's kind of my only option.
Anyway, it is about that time for me to remind you to go to TCPpodcast.com, text us at 855-TCB-8383
and check out our socials at the commercial break on Instagram and at TCPpodcast on TikTok.
Go on, Brian needs this. And don't forget to go to youtube.com slash the commercial break for
fully edited videos. I promise you're
gonna love them. Also, it would mean the world to us if you support us by supporting our sponsors.
So let's have a listen to them and then we'll get back to this episode of the commercial break.
Billy Huckbuck chuckin' fuck they're all back. All the gangs back. All the gangs back, I found a compilation video. Oh, yes.
Of the best of the best of this last season,
of the mountain monsters.
And while this will get demonetized
in three seconds on YouTube, I don't give a shit.
We don't make any money there.
Anyway, we don't make any money here either.
We don't make any money on this stupid podcast.
So it doesn't matter.
TLC, a travel channel is really good at catching
those mountain monster voices.
They demonetize every video of them.
Really?
Yes, absolutely.
But that's okay.
It's all fair use.
We're just reviewing it.
We're just having fun with it.
So, without further ado, I was trolling on the internet.
As you do?
As I do like to do.
Let's take a listen to the mountain monsters.
Been out here in these cornfields at night, it's dangerous as hell.
Something could be on top of you before you even realize it.
That's a story.
It's like the Rustinale bar down the street.
Pretty soon people on top of you, you don't even know what happened.
It's like that party in the woods. Them hippies come down here every
month. The court field. In the corn field. You got husks and holes and all kind of shit
pretty soon. All you know is someone's on top of you. Fucking ya. Yep. Yep. I got a very large bed of something to check his out.
There's nothing there.
I got a very large flat spot of corn with a tie-dive t-shirt, two grams of smoldily-dodily.
That new shit turned people into zombies.
Frank Kuleum or whatever they call it.
Look how large that is. That's big.
Whatever this was, laying in this position.
Like a cat.
One of the guys has gotten down and do this.
This part of the corn hole.
And laid down.
That's why. Yeah. It was. It's just like a flat spot.
Yeah, lay it down.
It was me, I just take a little cat nap, guys.
Literally like a cat.
Hope you don't mind.
It was good for the show.
All right, cool.
Let's keep it in.
I can tell this ain't no typical deer bed.
Whatever was here was here a few minutes ago.
We say we had that direction.
I don't want to go in there and rush it,
because if we jump to once, I don't want to jump.
But again, excuse me. Alright.
Marrowow! I just shart myself. I thought it was a sneeze ended up being a
shit. It's a sneeze. Boys I'm gonna need to change the drawers. Lemo brother.
He just got a hairball. Yeah!
Yeah!
I'm chocolate up for the mountain monster riders.
Oh!
They did not go on strike by the way.
Not part of that organization.
It's possible that what better down here?
Could have been the same thing that's making those screaming noises
They will hold the second yeah right in here
None of those guys are gonna be fast enough to get away from
No, what do you think they're gonna do? This is why I keep saying this show is ridiculous
It's because they're they got beanie guns basically as
Defense what they never shot not once
They've they've seen a bunch of monsters. They've been chased. They've been run down. They've run after them
What who in the right fucking mind is chasing off the yewaw monster of you know mountain
Kimakimli or whatever the fuck it is seven stand it's 10 seven feet tall with bloodied claws five inches long
that have been known to take a man's head off with one foul swoop. It makes no noise when it runs
upon you. Pretty soon you'll just be a decapitated little smut puppet for the ye yaw wolf of Mount
McKinley. But let's stand here in the dark and figure out if we can fight. laugh about the things. but that sneeze was hilarious.
they heard
once you let me blow my kairo chrome see what happens.
i'm down with that.
i'm down there get that kairo call out.
you go ahead get that kairo call out.
let's see what it sounds like.
oh no wrong one.
Hit the other one out.
We're going to South Carolina.
Hey, help the homer.
Hey, help the homer.
Hey, come on, the coke.
Hey, you're a messer, coo.
We're going to tell the boy you have head presses.
We're going to bust out the old coyote call and see if I can get a response.
All right, guys, listen up.
They're surrounding him.
So what you don't see is that Huck, who
is the very large gentleman who is a leader of the pack here.
There's two Hucks.
There's Huckleberry and Huck.
And this is Huck.
And he's standing in the middle of this corn pasture.
And now all the guys are surrounding him,
but standing outside.
As if he's the president of the United States in a motor
cage that was standing around him.
Well, he's got a duck call in his hands. What do they think it's just gonna come running out of the woods?
The second he blows it. Here I am. Here I am. Come eat me. Here I am. Come disembow me. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Oh
Who's that who was that?
It was a dog It's all it was a car from the
Parking lot of the QT over there in the corner
It was nothing it was a dog that I didn't like her dad
Right in the corner. Yeah, I heard it. That was something big
Well, you know when you did well, um, I don't know what we're supposed to do now
But take your $4 Walmart flashlight and point it that way
The one guy standing I know
He's got a gun and is it he's standing in the stands pointing up in the air?
That's if something's gonna come flying from the sky.
These guys have seen one too many scream movies.
Let's get in the corner.
I start cutting loose on that call and then we hear something right in the corn field.
Not 45 50 yards away.
We're going to spread out and see if we can find exactly what made that noise in the
corn. Let's do this boys.
That's spread out.
All right.
Not sure I'm yelling, but here's the place.
We're right here, bug.
I know.
All right, let's it up, boy.
We're going to spread as far out as possible with our guns pointing in indiscriminate ways. Then if you hear anything,
you keep shooting until I say stop. Also by spreading out, it certainly makes us more safe.
Yeah, because the corn is like over their head. Yes, the corn is 10 kittles. What are they going to do?
Over their head. Yes, the core is 10 k to all what are they gonna do?
What do they get out of these signals with each other what's going on? They have no walkie talkies I've never seen a cell phone on the fucking show. I don't know what's going on
Let's see if we can go here and pick up the track. It was easy guys
Look for track. All right. Nobody needs to get in front of the other
Hold up hold up hold up
Listen listen other hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold Oh It's right there. It's right there. Oh
No, just a couple hippies from the party. I
Think they might be hired something
Jack easy now stay ready. That wasn't no bobcat
Let's go down. No, it was a woman screaming come on. Yeah
Good buck easy now easy. Go down. No, it was a woman screaming come on. Yeah Way ahead
I think stay calm or there's gonna be blood on this corn. It's not like it's right up here
Blood on this corn you get better day com
Corn turns red. I think he's how the old riddle goes
Stay calm and in the line you'll be fine.
Ha ha ha ha.
Get ahead you'll see red and everybody's dying.
Is that how it goes? I think something like that.
My grandma used to be near the wagon tree.
Ha ha ha.
Watch out.
Oh, what in the world?
Oh my lord.
Good. Dead chickens here boys.
Okay, what they have come up on is a straw hut that made out of the corn husks.
With dead chickens wrapped around it.
Convincingly dead chickens. Like, yeah, it looks real. It does.
This looks like a massacre.
Chicken mass. looks real it does this looks like a massacre chicken mass we're working no guys that's just a
come on I got my wing party you know I do
that every Thursday with the guys this is
I'm just trying to chicken's out I'm
deep blooding them deep bloody them our way
through the cornfield all of a sudden the
corn opens up there's a huge
structure what is this thing bomb bomb bomb sound anything on this is amazing
whatever did this where did it go that's a damn good question listen four out of five mountain monsters agree this is a damn good question
Where did that thing go
We came in here trying to find out if there was anything other than a bobcat and a coyote and now we know there is
The best thing we can do is get out of here right now finally
Finally someone talk some it to buck over there.
That doesn't sound like the Mountain Monsters.
They don't back down from a challenge.
Whatever did that has imposible thumbs because they literally like built a fort in the
middle of a corn field.
But exactly sure how to take this.
Is this the wire woman?
And the same dude, we have to get to the bottom of it.
Oh, the wire woman. The wire woman. Wire woman. Oh, interesting. What is a wire woman and the same good is we have to get to the bottom of oh the wire woman
The wire woman wire woman. Oh, oh interesting. What is a wire woman?
Sounds like my children why why why why
This is the wire woman
We're not sure if the wire woman's out here or not, but we came here to catch it
So I'm gonna get started on a trap and It needs to be a trap that can be placed
right out here in this cornfield.
I think nothing gets me excited.
Nothing gets me more excited when the
Mound Monsters say they're gonna build a trap.
These guys are good trap filters.
Really?
Yeah, willy.
Willy.
Thank you.
Man, wild bill, we're getting ready to get started.
Back during the day and things are happy, Billy's gonna build a big old trap.
We're gonna find a woman, a wild, wild woman.
We're gonna put her there and then we'll put her back.
So the trap for the Wild Woman.
Need a way?
I'll follow you.
They have been two encounters with what we believe is this wild woman and are only about
a quarter mile apart.
So we're going to put this track right smack Dave in the middle.
I have had exactly two encounters with what I consider wild women.
I'm going to put her back in her place in this here track! Oh warps, Bill.
Definitely got some track of something been through here.
Playing this day, dude.
This is gonna be a spot we need to build that track.
We could clearly see when we looked down to ground, that something's been walking back
and forth between East Corn Road and being right in between.
Yeah, your FDSes were walking back and forth
just seven hours ago.
Plus, how'd you get the trap back there?
You didn't walk on it?
Don't asses.
He's two hot spots with the Y-Woman.
This is going to be the perfect place to build this trap.
Whenever that Y-Woman heads down that trail
and goes into that trap and hits that trigger,
that whole front door will slam down and lock tight.
She'll be inside.
They put literally building a cage, like a dark trap for a woman.
Who is the liar woman? What is this?
I'm like a little raw chicken bros.
Yeah, put a raw chicken there because she hung up 12 raw chickens last night.
Seems like she's really into them.
Get yourself a butter ball, put it over there.
Thanks, Kimmings.
We've heard that wow, women like to cook butterball turkeys
this time of year.
Fresh made biscuits and homemade gravy.
So we're going to leave some dirty dots and pans in this
here sink in hope she comes to clean them.
We're gonna remove two rows of corn for about 30 feet.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's my toes?
Then we're gonna set some posts right there
where the corn rose was.
Get some of it.
After I was parked, boo.
We're gonna start bringing in some cattle panel.
Yeah. Dr. Althe Park, boo! We gotta start bringing in some cattle panel. This is the most gayest nail, brother.
Yeah.
Nothing likes some cattle panel to keep your woman indoors.
I got about 600 of these around my house.
That's why I haven't seen my wife since 1982.
Oh my god.
All right. since 1982. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We got all that panel stuck up there.
Why won't we be right at home in the Hien House, brother?
We made some great progress on this trap today.
Let's go-
I like my reality TV show with a bit of misogyny.
Oh my god.
We ride a home. Oh, Oh yes she will.
We're gonna come back in the mart, but the finishing touches on.
BOOM!
Solid is a rock.
Me and brother Will have just put the finishing touches on this track.
Now we're getting ready for rest of the team to come out.
See what we got?
I'm telling you guys, I think I don't dare
They don't say the burning
I just don't drug of dizzles
But they vol-
Go!
Woo!
Well, that's wild bill for you
That's wild bill
So bad, that the people who do the captioning for television
Don't even put captions under what he says for you. That's wild Bill. So bad that the people who do the captioning for television
don't even put captions under what he says. If there was a like an ASL translator at the
bottom, this would be the notification she gave people who cannot hear. I don't know. Ha. Ha.
Horseman, come on me.
That, hell yeah.
I love the crew job.
Walking up and seeing that trap.
Oh, Willie, amaze me again.
Hell, you could put an elephant in that thing.
Oh, man.
I don't think so.
I think that's a bit of an exaggeration.
Willie does this every time.
This trap is sold as a rock. That thing's amazing
Willie this trap looks awesome. What you show us how it works. There's that twinkle, buddy
I got a twinkle in my tank
Okay, you're done
I'm dead about about one hour
I'm gonna get in there. What's the bitch around there? She's dead. You kick it out. Oh, daddy, I'm out of my own wallet all the time! Hey, wake it in, say it! What the bitch rumped in! She said, you kick it out!
Go, woo!
Zah!
YEEE!
YEE!
And then I get a text message on my phone.
AHHHHH!
I don't know.
Now, whenever that wide woman comes right...
White woman?
He said white woman?
Whenever that white woman, okay.
White.
He said white woman. I was like whatever that white woman okay why he said white woman I was like well we're gonna change change our modern
months we do not need to see Huckleberry and a overalls gene overalls with no
shirt no no no no we don't need to see any of these guys with overalls with no
shirt but I mean that's the kettle calling
down this trail she's used to using.
She's gonna run right in here, see that bait, grab that trigger.
And once that trigger's released, that door will slam right down against the face of this trap.
Right that in there.
We're on car straight us a white one.
Yeah!
We love women! Ah!
Woo!
Yeah!
Yes sir!
He he he!
Eugh!
I want to see it.
I thought you never asked.
I want to see it too!
I mean, I want to finally see something.
These guys just want to finally see a woman.
They're looking for
One two and by the way, I actually don't think this is the most secure trap in the world because the door falls But nothing locks so she can just push it out. We push it open
Oh
Track was perfect. It's a huge partly with two kick out
While you woman doesn't stand a chance after finding those dead chickens
Like I dance just for everything don't they? Another night we figured the best bait chicken
We know this well. Yeah
Why are they so excited?
They're chasing a monster, a demonic entity from hell.
They're chasing it in a cornfield.
And they're all excited. I don't get it.
I want a woman each chicken. We're only using it as bait.
The only bad thing about it, you have forgot to tell us that Sunday stuff.
This draft's perfect.
That's Maya Canyon!
It's baited, and it's right between the two points
where the wire woman's been running.
For losing daylight, it's time to put the wire woman in this cage.
Right here!
Yeah!
Let the...
We're losing daylight!
I'm not sure where it's going, but we're leaking it out the boat.
So come on, boys! Night time is fright time. Let's go!
Yeah!
I'm beginning. Let's go, guys.
Hey, we'll, if we kept through it, coming right there, we'd get to the house a lot quicker.
That's right on the other side.
I don't say it. Let's do it.
Man, I ain't liking that.
It's like jumping out of the coals right into the far.
Me and brother Willis go take-
That's not exactly how the same goes, but okay.
Ha ha ha.
Ha.
Go right into the far.
That's like jumping into the refrigerator out of the teapot.
Ha ha ha. Let's go catch that white woman. That's like jumping into the refrigerator out of the tea pot
Let's go catch that white woman
Short cut to this corn get up that blue house and bestigate it
Investigate it blue house blue house with investigations. That's what you do the best kind of investigation
Billy's in bestigation services. How can I help you?
In bestigation.
We're going to the corn. Stay ready. This corn is thick. Just like your brain.
It's a spoon key brother. I'll keep it clear back here. Here we go. We're breaking out.
You're coming up on that house. Here we go. Oh, here we go.
Man, this looks, this looks, this looks creepy. We're breaking up Coming up on that house. Oh, wait, I can't get one.
Man, this looks just, this looks creepy.
We just got to this place.
Just that looks creepy.
It just now looks creepy.
You didn't think about checking it out during the day,
since it's 25 feet from your trap.
You didn't think about calling the neighbors,
asking them if everything was okay.
There's houses in the middle of the corn.
What is going on?
This is looking suspicious guys.
And this is place look creeps. I'm about to jump out of my boots!
I'm about to jump out of my boots! I don't think that one's going on!
Ah! Can you imagine being this guy's wife? Oh my god.
Just make sure we clear everything.
Clear this, clear this.
Alright guys, the next creature we're going to investigate.
Oh my god, there's a next creature that we're going to investigate.
They never give you the ending because they never want you to have the ending.
But...
Well, because they don't find it.
Well, no, they never do find it, do they?
I don't know about you, Christopher. I don't get it, I don't find it. Well, no, they never do find it, do they? I don't know about you, Chris, but I don't get it,
I don't want another episode, do it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it,
I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I don't want it, I can set the local bar on the high tops. The rusty nail. The rusty nail. The rusty nail.
The rusty nail closed down.
That's unbelievable.
The rusty fucking nail.
It was rusty on the right.
Those walls guitar.
I hope El Chappos coming into it.
Save the wood on that floor because there's a couple kilos there.
Oh my god.
There was only two reasons you went to the Rusty Nail.
You had drugs or you needed them.
That's the only reason you went.
And we loved it.
At least that one time we loved it.
One of my favorites.
I was going there a long time.
Long time.
Goodbye Rusty.
Goodbye Rusty Nail.
No one ever knew you were.
Alright, here's what I need you to do.
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Alright, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today.
I think so.
But I'll tell you that I love you.
And best of you.
Best of you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I must say, we always say and we do say.
Good bye! Yes!
you