The Commercial Break - The Great Walkway Treaty of 2021

Episode Date: March 16, 2021

Episode Summary Bryan tells Hoadley about his phonics problem with book time any night. The gang remembers the great bands of the 80's and Bryan's zits are back as if it was 1980 Sick of playing sidew...alk chicken with the people walking the opposite direction? So is Bryan! But Bryan is a man of people bringing solutions to better the world! Plus...The Mandela Effect. Did it happen? They discuss. SPONSORS:  Comedy Podcasts Club on Clubhouse (The Only Club on Clubhouse Dedicated to The Comedy Podcast + Clubhouse Comedy) LINKS: Watch Clips of this episode on Youtube Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 (470) 584.8449 FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: info@tcbpodcast.com   A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Of Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Tina Tan and Tweez is now reopened. After much ado about apparently nothing, we're happy to announce that Tina Tan and Tweez is back open to the general public. That's right, we here at Triple T are back in business and better than ever, so get those pasty marble bags off the couch and come get some fresh rake. We're talking to you. Tired of looking in the mirror and seeing a ghost? TTT has two state-of-the-art tanning beds to suit all skin tones and types.
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Starting point is 00:03:54 So come on down to Tina Tan and Tweez for the grand reopening. Tina, Tan and Tweeez, we groom you with these exactly where you please. On this episode of the Commercial Break, it's not a good look, when you're embarrassed and funny your child and you can't say it work. And when I'm like, I'm then- Did you start making things up? Yes, I did. I was like, the puss of maca making things up? Yes, I did. I was like, the pusome a cock. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Cockin' my balls. I mean, I'm like, yeah, I just fear that my son's gonna walk into school one day and be like, it's a pussy. It's a pusome a raptor. Yes, did you know they're gonna have the pictures of the dinosaurs? Oh yeah, the dinosaurs are coming.
Starting point is 00:04:37 Yes. Those kids are good at saying those dinosaur names. But me as an adult, I can't say it. I know the straight T-Rex. T-Rex, that's a good idea. Or Vilosa Raptor, but then like a Vilosa Raptor, something like that. Just eats your heart out, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:04:50 Like just spits on you and you die of acid or something like that? Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. I had a bad problem with acne when I was a kid. Bad problem. Like so bad that I had to take the drug, acutane. Oh yeah, a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Yeah, a lot of people did. And now it's got a black box warning where it's like, yeah, a lot of people in fair so well on the drug and it made them suicidal. I look back on that time now and I know that I was, that I was a little cuckoo just because of some incidents that happened while I was on Acutain. That shit was strong, but man, did it clear up my skin?
Starting point is 00:05:21 Well, really did the job. Clear skin, crazy mind. Ended up in the loony bin, but man did it clear up my skin. Well, really did the job. Clear skin, crazy mind. It ended up in the loony bin, but man, I have perfect skin. And I don't know if I'm becoming angrier or other people are just dicks. But do you ever... I don't know if I'm becoming angrier or you're just an asshole. I'm not sure which one it is. Fuck you.
Starting point is 00:05:46 The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Dave. Dave the dolphin or the Pilatima Puss. He's a, what is a dolphin? Porta Puss. A Porta Puss. That's right. I'm reading all these books to my children, to Matthias. And Pete the Cat is one of them. You gave my son Pete the Cat. The first Pete the Cat book.
Starting point is 00:06:17 It's a cool book. It's an awesome book. Honestly, it's an awesome book. It's all about Pete and dancing, and you should never stop dancing and all this other stuff. So, the Chrissy writes this beautiful forward in the book and then my son all of a sudden, like three weeks ago, picks up Pete the cat and he says,
Starting point is 00:06:29 Dad, Pete the cat. I mean, we told him the name. He didn't actually read the name, but he says, Dad, read me Pete the cat before we go to bed. So now we got like a whole collection of Pete the cat books and we're reading Pete the cat. One of them is Pete the cat meets dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:06:42 It's like cave man Pete. Yes. And they put the real cave man, cave man, me, cave man, cat, cave man, cat, Pete, cave man, cat. That's what it is. Cave man cat, right. And so they put in the, in the actual book, they put the names of the actual dinosaurs, like he meets all these dinosaurs. And it's like, Varrampa, Maraster. And I'm like, what's a, like, I got to stop and phonics it out for my child.
Starting point is 00:07:06 It's not a good look, Hodeley. When you're embarrassed and funny your child and you can't say it work. And when I'm like, and then? You start making things up. Yes, I did. I was like, to push them a cock. All right.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Cock up my balls. I mean, I'm like, yeah, I just fear that my son's gonna walk into school one day and be like, it's a pussy. It's a pusimaraptor. Yes, because you know they're gonna have the pictures of the dinosaurs. Oh yeah, the dinosaurs are coming.
Starting point is 00:07:28 I guess. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:07:35 We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:07:43 We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. We love dinosaurs. your heart out, isn't it like your spits on you and you die of acid or something like that? I don't know, but what I do know is I feel like the two people who write these books could stop taking peyote and watching their cat around the house and you don't have to put the real name of the dinosaur, just put something else, put like Tom, Tom, the dinosaur, yeah, or Bob flying, whatever you want to call it
Starting point is 00:08:05 But don't call it a moronka maroup or whatever it is a Salema platima poudou. I'm like without Just give me a second. It's I just got to stop here for a second. Let me check with Google Google funnics me that's right. I'm Brian. This is Chrissy and happy New Year It's Tuesday edition of the commercial break. And we are so happy that you are here. You can go to tcbpodcast.com to find out more about Chrissy and I read all the show notes and watch our entire library. Our entire library.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Our entire library. It's all there for the take. I'm picturing somebody kind of putting it up on a big screen, settling in with a popcorn. You feel like there's like production assistance behind us just writing file names constantly. It was a time when like, I think I- They're ready to binge.
Starting point is 00:08:50 They're ready to binge. They're ready to binge Brian and Chrissy. Episodes 30 through 50, minus 32, 37, 41, 67, and 49 were Brian forgot to press record. True story. True story. At the commercial break on Instagram at Brian Green, BRY and GREN on clubhouse are at TCB Chrissy, KRI SSY on clubhouse.
Starting point is 00:09:19 If you hit the little bell, you'll get notified about when Chrissy and I are going in live to record on clubhouse. Yeah, we'll do that over the next couple of weeks. Certainly, we'll put out an episode. We're going to interact with you. But here's what you really want to do is you want to join the commercial break club. It's called the commercial break club. So look for the clubs and then look for commercial break because Chrissy and I have started a
Starting point is 00:09:40 club specifically dedicated to the commercial break where we'll be recording in there. And then I imagine we're going to do ancillary stuff like we're going to hook up with some started a club specifically dedicated to the commercial break where we'll be recording in there. And then I imagine we're going to do ancillary stuff. We're going to hook up with some other comedians and sketch writers and stuff like that and we'll do some audio content on there on Clubhouse. It's really exciting actually. I'm super excited. It's so exciting.
Starting point is 00:09:55 It's so, so, so, so. If this is it, please tell me so. If you can, baby, baby, let me go. What's this? Is it boo-ee? That's Huey Lewis. Oh, that's the new. You want it to be square. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da If you have a horn section in your band, you're fucking badass, and I suggest you go back and listen to the Huey Lewis in the news. So I'm watching a lot of love connection, right?
Starting point is 00:10:28 Oh, the audience picked Tom, 56% if you want to go out with Tom, we'll pay for it. I'm like, long, long, long. No, no, no, no, thanks. I just got molested in my own apartment. I got it. I mean, what a ridiculous concept. Blind date and love connection.
Starting point is 00:10:46 These two dating shows that I am obsessed with watching right now. Every time I take a shower, I bring my phone in there and I'm watching episodes of either blind date or love connection. Love connection is a much older show. It started in the evening. Show in the shower.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Because I have my phone. Okay. But it's waterproof. Oh. Yeah, yeah. And I have this little thing that actually holds your phone in front of you. Oh my God. I know, I'm just so, it's the only Oh, yeah, yeah, and I have this little thing that actually holds your phone in front of you I know I'm just so it's the only time I can watch TV and in privacy. That's right. I got a little
Starting point is 00:11:11 I'm choosing love connections. I'm choosing love connection over lower acts or Disney channel or yet another episode of Squabunge Bob Square pants So it loves it in pineapple under the sea So it loves it in pineapple, I know to see. Bunch, bunch, square pants. So I'm watching Love Connection and Blind Date, which are both perfectly fantastic shows in their own way, and they're a little time capsules, and you can go back, and some of you probably weren't even born when the Love Connection came out, started in like 1982, but they have 2000 and 36 episodes, there's something, some crazy number like that. Here's the premise, which I've said before in the show,
Starting point is 00:11:45 guy or girl come on, then there's three guys or three girls depending on, you know, it's, heterosexual mainly. I've never seen a gay episode of the love connection though I imagine that would have been fantastic. But so what they do, yeah, they would honestly, I don't think Chuck Mullery would allow it. Now that I know Chuck Mullery a little bit better,
Starting point is 00:12:05 Chuck got to try not to be a dick, didn't ya? But so then you can, you either pick one of the three to go out with on a blind date or the audience. Can pick somebody to go out in the day for you and you, you know, then you start going out with that person that the audience picked for you. The crazy thing about this, and I've said this before, is that they actually show up at each other's houses
Starting point is 00:12:31 to pick them up for blind date, and then they'll like go into their house and like, it's a whole day long date, so they'll change to get, you know, the same house together. Yeah, they would go to the beach and go to dinner. That's right, then they go, they go change in between, and it'll take, oh, then we took, they go change and between and we'll take it.
Starting point is 00:12:45 Oh, then we took a nap at his house and I'm like, took a nap at his house. Right. Can't even make it through dinner. Straight to dinner. That's right, it can't even make it through dinner on a blind date without asking your social security number these days.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Yes. It's crazy. It's boring. So, I'm watching this. And then as I'm watching this now, YouTube is catching on that I'm liking stuff from the 80s. So it's populating my next up with a lot of like old music videos like remote control from MTV The show and then it started populating
Starting point is 00:13:13 Huey Lewis in the news videos because Huey Lewis in the news was all over MTV for a second They were the hottest oh yeah most but they were like a square band They weren't like guns and roses or you know thin, thin lizi or whatever, any of those, what was the other band that everybody liked back then? Millie Finnelly, wasn't like, me, love. I was like any of those other bands. So what they did was they populated all these Huey Lewis stuff
Starting point is 00:13:41 and I started just getting like really hooked on listening to old Huey Lewis stuff in my and I started just getting like really hooked on listening to old Huey Lewis stuff And I thought to myself, man, the kids are really missing out these days. Yeah on on Huey Lewis in the news They probably have no fucking clue what I'm talking about Hopefully they'll go Google him because some of that music he is saying the same things that the kids are saying today and their lyrics Just in them, you know in a much I guess more kind of like light-hearted way, but he's saying the same things. It's all about being a little sick.
Starting point is 00:14:09 I want to make a drug. I want a new drug. I want a woman make me cry. I just want to get high. I want a new drug. Go, here we go. So I'm just saying for the record that I think that I think if you haven't heard Huey Lewis in the news or you haven't heard him for a while, you should go back and take a listen
Starting point is 00:14:33 because it's got a horn section. It's fucking rock and roll R&B and it's fucking, it's pretty, pretty good at co-thing. It's pretty outstanding. It'd be a dream of mine to get like Huey Lewis on the show. Yeah. And that'd be awesome. He be a dream of mine to get like Huey Lewis on the show. Yeah. He lost a lot of his hearing though. So I think sometimes you can have trouble getting him
Starting point is 00:14:50 to lose his hearing. He did. Yeah. Like most of it are all of it. Yeah, he kind of made the rounds on, I know I think I saw him on CBS Sunday morning and different things. So yeah, they've talked about that. But he's very open and talking about it.
Starting point is 00:15:01 I bet he'd be open to coming on our show. Well, well, let's see if that we can make that happen. And then I also noticed that as the time goes on, Huey's voice, while very strong for most of the 80s and 90s, as we get into the 2006, 2007, if you can catch live, he's gonna do a lot, they don't do a lot of live appearances, but when you catch those, you can tell he's having trouble catching a tune.
Starting point is 00:15:21 It's not that his voice isn't strong, it's that he is out of tune. So I don't think you can hear himself. There's a correlation. Yeah, that's just speculation. That's just Brian's, more of Brian's bullshit. So that's information you can take to the bank. That's right.
Starting point is 00:15:38 Unlike a computer full of facts. Deposited. Deposited into the bank. Would you like anything else, Mr. Green? No, that's okay. Thank you Do you have extra deposit tickets? Oh my god You have extra deposit tickets for ever because I've been inside a bank in like 12 months I don't need yeah, and I'm doing all these complicated banking transactions right online quite frankly I like it better that way. Yeah, I'm like wiring money to people and oh So that gets that's the most complicated thing I did. I'm like, wiring money and wiring money to people, wiring money to international drug lords.
Starting point is 00:16:18 I just sent you a two million dollars Mr. Haysus. I want the cocaine on a plane to Miami and less than two days. Now you're going back to the 70s. No, that's the 80s. Okay. And Miami was a cocaine cowboy dance back in the 80s. See, like I got some fucking zits going on right here across my, you know what the here's a thing. I felt like my skin was getting a little dry the other day.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Right? We were having that kind of last push for the cold spell. Yeah. And then you got the heat blaring in your house and your skin. Mine is gonna get really drunk too. So I go into my wife's, you know, magic book of tricks over there. Skillotions and potion. Yeah, the lotion's in Potions division, right?
Starting point is 00:16:55 I go into the makeup division of the house and I'm like, hmm, wonder what my wife's got for? Go to old cracked skin, like just dry skin. And I see there's some cocoa, cocoa, cocoa. Coco butter. Coco, cocoa, cocoa, cocoa butter, right? And I'm like, I should really put some of that on my skin.
Starting point is 00:17:10 I bet that's gonna help me out a great deal. And I put it on, and in one day, and my forehead turned into a zit factor. I was like, holy shit, yeah, my skin just was like, had a bad reaction and just turned into zits. And I felt like I was a teenager again, looking, you know, watching clear cell commercials and asking my mom to buy me something to just turned into zits. And I felt like I was a teenager again, looking, you know, watching clear-ass-elf commercials and asking my mom to buy me something to fix all this.
Starting point is 00:17:29 I had a bad problem with acne when I was a kid. Bad problem. Like, so bad that I had to take the drug acutane. Oh, yeah, a lot of people did. Yeah, a lot of people did. And now it's got a black box warning where it's like, yeah, there's a lot of people didn't fare so well on the drug and it made them suicidal.
Starting point is 00:17:43 I look back on that time now and I know that I was a little cuckoo just because of some incidents that happened while I was on Accutane. That shit was strong, but man, did it clear up my skin? Well, really did the job. Clear skin, crazy mind. Ended up in the loony bin, but man, dude, I have perfect skin.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Look at that shine. Look at that, look at that. Oh, that's the appearance. Yeah, you ever get zits as an adult and wonder if it's all coming back? No, but you never had a problem with your skin. No, but now I kind of do with it being very sensitive, like you were discussing with the changing of the seasons and the weather and I have about allergies too. Oh my god, the allergies are killing me. It's about to be pollen season. Pollen season for those of you that don't know here in Atlanta means that we could get up to a quarter of an inch
Starting point is 00:18:31 of yellow dust in a fucking day and a night. No joke. No joke. And you can be, when it's the worst of the worst, like the two weeks, which is the worst. There's dust clouds. Just dust clouds. Just swirling.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Yellow clouds of dust flying off of trees. And everything is hazy and it gets in your car, and in your house, and on your shoes, and everything. It's like snow, but it's yellow, and it doesn't melt, or go away. Until you get that one good rain, but then once you get the good rain, then it starts all over again.
Starting point is 00:18:57 It's like, this is a vicious cycle. It's in April. March and April is awful. Yeah, the allergies kill me, but every time that I get a zit now, I Think I'm traumatized. Yeah, I think I'm going. Yeah, going back to I go in my I go in the old memory bank And and I remember when I didn't have any friends except for My dolphin friends
Starting point is 00:19:23 except for my dolphin friends. Yes, Dave. Dave the dolphin. Just called Dave the dolphin. Why do you have to call it a Maraka Marampa Maru? It just doesn't make any sense to me. How do you do that? Does that make any sense to me? But the weather is beautiful out here
Starting point is 00:19:35 in Atlanta right now. That is that we are in that 15 day stretch. Oh yeah. And so last week I decided I'm gonna go take a run because I like to run. And now that, you know. Good for I like to run and now that you know Yeah, the kids you know kids are loose some schedules were loosening up a little bit So I felt like kind of let me run out there for 45 minutes. I have to say something though. Holy
Starting point is 00:19:56 And I don't know if I'm becoming angrier or other people are just Dicks but do you ever I? Don't know if I'm becoming angry or you're just an asshole. I'm not sure which one it is. But fuck you. Yeah. I have noticed, especially over the last, let's call it four or five years, that people are really getting aggressive about the walkway. Like the, you know, the trail that you walk on every, every city, major city has one, every small city has one, that trail at the park that you walk up and down, sometimes it's paved, sometimes it's not. And I don't know what people's fucking problems are,
Starting point is 00:20:31 but isn't it like just understood that you should walk on the right side of the trail? Yes. Why? Why? Well, that's the drive on the right side. That's correct. I think it's just your mind kind of just goes. Why can't people just take that same etiquette? You would never drive on the left hand side of the road. That's correct. I think this is your mind kind of just goes. Why can't people just take that same etiquette?
Starting point is 00:20:46 You would never drive on the left hand side of the road. It's moving. Yeah, if you're moving, you move on the right. Yeah, and I guess if you're in London, then you do it the opposite way, right? But if you're in America and the United States of America that I know of, I don't know of any, there's possibly some down in Florida because it's just weird. But if you're driving on the right But if you're driving on the right, if you're driving on the right side of the road,
Starting point is 00:21:06 when you start moving in any other form, then you should move to the right hand side. It should just be a thing that we all fucking do. But no, it's little Betty Sue with her fucking little waggily ass dog that's gotta be walking on the left hand side of the road. And I just, I watch it. I'm a quarter mile away.
Starting point is 00:21:25 I'm a tenth of a mile away. I'm getting into the hundreds of yards away. And you're sensitive to start to pick up. My senses start to pick up. They're not mad. Yeah, that Betty Sue and her Wiggly-ass, fuck, Wiggly-ass dog. They're not moving.
Starting point is 00:21:36 And they're staring at me. She's staring at me and she's saying, I'm not moving. Not one inch. This is my side of the road. I was here first. Oh, where are you, Betty? Move over with your wiggly ass, waggly ass dog.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Yeah. I don't understand what is in people's heads that they wanna play chicken on the walkway. It's as if they have already, do you get this? I feel like since the last election, and this, I'm just pinpointing a day. I just leave it to people and then I go the opposite.
Starting point is 00:22:10 I want you. Just gonna let it go. I wanna be that guy who just lets it go. But I find myself angry for hundreds of yards after I pass people. Why didn't they pass me? I know, why didn't they pass me? What did they do?
Starting point is 00:22:21 I think they probably voted for so and so or they're rooting for the other team or blah blah blah blah blah. They have a betty's probably the kind of girl who had, you know, fucking ass and not give you a reach around. God damn it, Betty, you know. I am doing the thing that I imagine
Starting point is 00:22:37 they're doing to me, which is here he comes. He thinks he's running down the pathway. He can't move. I've got my dog with me and I'm an old lady. And I run around around around around around around around. It an old lady in there. Right, right, right. It's good times out there on the run. In jail. It is, but I just want to know what's in people's heads.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Why can't they move to the proper side when you see that someone's coming and they're on the proper side? And then don't even get me started about the entire families of people that walk down the... Well, yeah, that's a whole other issue. I'm upset. I'm upset about this. I've been waiting all week to talk about this because I'm upset about this and I want people to know that people I don't imagine all listeners do this because I always imagine that one listener sitting here with
Starting point is 00:23:19 us and that they're a reasonable, calm, pragmatic, super intelligent, pretty good looking person. Sometimes without clothes on. Yeah. And that they would move over to the other side of the road. You live down near the belt line. I'm sure you see this a lot. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:38 I can't go on the weekends because it's just totally a run with people. Some people are speeding on their bike. Oh my God. Wishing bike. Oh my God. Wizzing by. Oh my God. Other people are just casually walking with 15 other people. Some people are walking their dog and it's poops
Starting point is 00:23:53 and you gotta pick it up. It's just a whole thing. It's so I just avoided on the weekend. I agree with you. It's a whole fucking situation where it's just mass chaos. It's like as if we don't have something to, it's like we all land it on the walkway and we've never moved in any kind of fashion whatsoever before and we're all trying to figure it out
Starting point is 00:24:11 But I think what it really is is that people want to play chicken They want you to move so that they feel better about themselves. I got that guy to move. I got that I showed that asshole I showed that asshole me in my wiggly wiggly fucking dog. Yeah, peaches Peaches the 35 year old, you know picking these bullshit little dog shit all over the place One leg up pissing on everybody is everyone buy and I'm oh Don't even get me started about the guys on the bikes the guys on the bikes who whiz buy you like at a hundred miles per hour Like you know with an inch of your shoulder. And, you know, ching, ching, ching,
Starting point is 00:24:48 move to the right, go fuck yourself. On the road, like everybody else does. But then they get angry at the guys on the road, but right, they're like, I say America. America, that's right. I'm just so upset about this. Let's clear it up. Okay. We're there needs to be some kind of agreement here. Like the like the
Starting point is 00:25:17 you should drop a treaty. The Brian Green International Walkway Treaty of 2021. I hereby do declare that much whatever the fuck it is 20th of 2021 shall be international walkway treaty day. Let it be known far and wide from the hills of Yondu to the waves of Ember Gray. Is it Ember Gray? To the waves of Ember Gray. As you share walk on the right side of the road, far bit anytime you decide to walk at all. And also let it be known that anybody who the chooses not to walk on thie though right side of the road shall therefore
Starting point is 00:25:57 thou be killed. Wow. By castration and mutilation of the eyeballs. Hang some people would get in line then. Yes. I feel like. You know where I feel like you could introduce this legislation, Jackie Weaver. Jackie Weaver? She knows how to get done. Jackie Weaver knows how to get shit done.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yes. That's right. I never thought about that, Holey. Holey, you're just... You have no authority at Jackie Weaver. But that's the problem. She has no authority here. Well, she seemed like she had a
Starting point is 00:26:27 a I'm sorry I'm going on about this, but it feels very strongly about this particular situation. I feel very strong. I always have felt very strongly about this. And when you have a pack of people, when there's six of you that are walking along, you know, and everybody's just walking along,
Starting point is 00:26:43 having a good time, that's all fine and good if there's no one there. Like, you know, what totally, take, listen, here's what I say. If, if you can't see, uh, then let it be, right? But if you're in the way, uh, please don't stay. Yeah. I mean, it's like, that's, I just made that up. But you can, if there's six of you, you guys can just kind of fold up and, and, and line with each other and then fold back out that's, I just made that up, but you can, if there's six of you, you guys can just kind of fold up in line with each other and then fold back out into a little pack of animals afterwards. Listen, that's the treaty.
Starting point is 00:27:11 And infoattcbpodcast.com, if you'd like to sign the Brian Green International Walkway Treaty of 2021, hereby the declaring that we shall all walk on the right side of the pathway, ride our bikes on the right side of the pathway, ride our bikes on the right side of the pathway. Bikers, don't jump up on people an inch from their shoulders. Here's what I think you should do.
Starting point is 00:27:33 I think you should get off your bike if you're approaching something from behind. Get off your bike, walk the bike in front of the person and then get to ride it. Well, you could at least not whizz by to one inch away. That's right. Stop whizzing by me. Oh, whizzing. Oh, whizzing. That's going in the treaty.
Starting point is 00:27:52 No whizzing. A whizz. What's that? The treaty of 2021. I made the treaty of 21. Back before we had legs. I made the international crawlway 3D. 21 that's right.
Starting point is 00:28:14 You could get eaten by a snake and die from a wild pack of badges. Oh, yeah, born just a couple days ago from my girlfriend's. What's your dream? Dangerous. Dangerous. Indeed, misled. Dangerous. Indeed. JFK
Starting point is 00:28:28 Who's a who's the guy Winston Churchill Nelson Mandela Brian Green these are people that are saving the earth one treaty at a time one piece back at a time That's right. I feel like me and Mahatma Gandhi are gonna to be mentioned in the same language. When people think back on this moment in history, they're going to go, thank God Brian spoke up. Thank God Brian spoke up. He was doing something we all thought. We were headed for sure destruction.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Yes. By the way, everyone has been thinking about this. Chaos. This has been in someone's head. Everybody's head. I know you've thought it because I've know you've been that asshole on the left side. And listen, I'm not saying I've never been on the left side. There's an occasion when I'm, I've had been on the left side for whatever reason.
Starting point is 00:29:09 But I always try and make an effort to move to the right side because I know that it's the appropriate thing to do. So just, I'll ask him. Next time, think about it a little bit. Do you really want to play chicken with me? Because I don't know that I'm going to become so much longer, hardly. That's all I'm going to say. Well, I'll do something about it.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Hey, speaking of Nelson Mandela, have you heard the Mandela effect? I have not. Okay, here's the premise of the Mandela effect. Okay. The premise of the Mandela effect is that when something gets inside of the collective conscience, like Nelson Mandela died in jail. Well Nelson Mandela did not die in jail. He never did, but people think this, right? And so back in the day, some scientists did some research. And they figured
Starting point is 00:29:53 out that, and I don't know who the scientists were, and I don't know what the research was, because I'm just making this up as I go along. But what they figured out was that when one caveman started to write on the wall, then caveman and the other side of the world also started to write on the wall. That is wild. Isn't that fascinating? That's crazy. Is it kind of like too when you think somebody died because then now we were just talking
Starting point is 00:30:13 about this the other day where you talked about Chuck Norris. I thought he died. And I said, I don't believe that's true. It's actually not true. But then you kind of question yourself like, well, wait, did he? Well, wait, did he? I haven't seen him in a while. That's correct. But I don't remember him being dead.
Starting point is 00:30:28 So the Mandela effect is basically when mass amounts of people think that something happened, they remember something happening that actually never happened. Okay. And one of those things is that Nelson Mandela had died in jail, but he clearly didn't because he went on, he got out of jail, and that was kind of the most famous part about Nelson Mandela,
Starting point is 00:30:46 is he then became the president of South Africa for so many years. Right, he rose up. He rose up. Yeah, that was a badass. He spent all those years in prison, writing all those notes out to people, and then he got out eventually, he became the president.
Starting point is 00:30:57 And I think he shepherded the country through apartheid, if I'm not mistaken, right? Right, so there's lots of examples of the Mandela effect, and if I'm not mistaken, right? Right. So there's lots of examples of the Mandela effect and I just want to give you a few. Okay. Uh, jiffy peanut butter. How do you spell jiffy peanut butter? I'm going JIFFY.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Yeah, it's not even, there's not even a Y. It's jiff, it's jiff peanut butter. Yeah, but you thought it was jiffy, right? I did. The baronstein bears. Well, but you kind of led.iffy, right? I did. The baronsteen, bears. Well, but you kind of led. I did. Well, I got to make it interesting for the...
Starting point is 00:31:28 I did. How do you spell jiffy? Not even jiffy. It's not even jiffy. I tricked you. Yeah. I did. I did.
Starting point is 00:31:41 Oh. Just jiff. What is a cock holding? What is cock holding? Holding cock? Yes, it's when you're right, it's holding the neighbor's cock. Oh.
Starting point is 00:31:52 I thought they'd cook. But that's your list. Yes, it's right here in Esquire, Meg. Below Jiffy Peanut Brother. Yeah, below Jiffy Peanut, it's cock holding. It's not cock holding, it's cock holding. Okay. And for those of you that don't know,
Starting point is 00:32:04 cock holding is when you enjoy watching your significant other have sex with someone else. When you enjoy watching it, that seems so strange to me, but it's a thing. There's whole websites that are dedicated to this, but I always thought it was cock holding, meaning your wife was holding somebody else's cock.
Starting point is 00:32:19 Yeah, it doesn't. Like, oh, look, there's my wife, cock holding somebody else. Yeah, that makes't it? Like, oh, look, there's my wife, cock holding somebody else. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Pavakaku 3000. That's right. Cock holding, spinning, jiffy, jiff,
Starting point is 00:32:35 lubrication. It's peanut butter while you're cock holding. Oh, you can get all the three of those in. Wonder, I wonder if peanut butter is the thing you could masturbate with. I guess anything with oil in it, you can probably figure it out. It seems like I become sticky. I'm gonna do some show research
Starting point is 00:32:52 and I'll be back to you next week. Ah! Ah! Ah! That's me, never mind, okay. Decurious George, have a tail. Yes. Yes, he did. No, he didn't. Uh, did Curious George have a tail? Uh, yes. Yes, he did.
Starting point is 00:33:08 No, he didn't. He did not have a tail. That's right. I was swinging from tree to tree with the tail. The tail was aiding and the tree swing. Uh, I think you're going to, did you say Curious George? Curious George. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Um, let's find another one here that I think will be interesting. Is Mother Teresa a saint? Yes. No, she's not. They never actually made her a saint. She was not canon. Oh, actually she was canonized in 2016, but many people remember it happening in the 1990s.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Oh. You know, that's not a good one. That's not a good example. That's not a good example. This is not a good example. I would like our listeners to write us. So if you ever been in the Magic Kingdom, do you remember where the castle was located? No.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Most people remember it being the entrance to the park. Well, you never been to Disney World. No. I can't believe you've never been to Disney World. How have you never been to Disney World. No. I can't believe you've never been to Disney World. How have you never been to Disney World? Well, I went to a part of it. I did like Magic Mountain. Magic Mountain is not a, Magic Mountain is not Disney.
Starting point is 00:34:14 No, that's not Disney. No, that's in California. Space Mountain. Space Mountain. Yes. Oh, then you've been to Disney World. Yes. Oh, you've been inside the Magic Kingdom.
Starting point is 00:34:22 It's the seventh grade. But we didn't do like universal studios and I always wanted to do that part. Well, universal studios is not Disney. That's all, that's, okay, well, we won't get into it here on the show. But many people, are you sure that's the man that
Starting point is 00:34:34 I was gonna say? That is the universal studios. It's clearly in Disney World, clearly. Uh huh. Did Chuck Norris die? Nope, but his mother did. Oh, that's where that came from. That's the whole movie part of Disney.
Starting point is 00:34:50 What do you mean, what's the whole movie part? Is it for a movie part of Disney? MGM Studios, not Universal Studios. It used to be called MGM Studios. It's now called Disney's Hollywood Studios. But everyone will forever remember it as MGM Studios because that's how it was initially launched as MGM. But then Disney has, no Disney has its own IP.
Starting point is 00:35:08 It doesn't need to buy any from MGM. Yes. But many people remember that the castle was actually at the front of the park. And it's not? No, it's not at the front of the park. It seems like it's off in a distance. Yeah, it's kind of, it's kind of.
Starting point is 00:35:22 But you can see it when you walk in. Off. Is that right? Do I have to say? You can see it when you walk in. Off. Yeah. Is that right? Do I have to say that? Yeah, you can see it. You've got more Disney experience. You can see it through Main Street. So you can see it certainly when you walk in. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:35:34 You're actually, so here's a little fun fact about Disney. When you get to Disney's front entrance, the actual park, the Magic Kingdom Park, is 20 feet above your head. So what you see is you see like a big flower bed with Mickey's face in it And then you see the train up top right and you're like oh, there's a train up You know in the sky up there But the you are actually walking into the park and then going up a slope 20 feet Because there are tunnels underneath of Disney World or where they can manage the trash and move from one place to the other. One of the things that Walt never liked about Disneyland is he didn't like seeing
Starting point is 00:36:10 Tigger the Bear out of in Space Mountain Land. He didn't like the characters were moving from one place to the other because they had to go backstage, areas, some way, shape, or form. So he built, he wanted tunnels underneath so that people, they could just kind of pop up in a pair. Yeah, move around. Get around. Yeah. Excellent.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Same premise that I have. Way back to Disney World, built first. Disney Land was built first. Yeah, it was built in the 40s. And then Disney World was opened in 1971. And Florida and the swamp. And Florida in the swamp. He bought 130,000 acres in the swamp.
Starting point is 00:36:45 But here's the adgenious about about Walt Disney. He didn't buy. He knew that if he built bought all of those acres in his own name, that that it would be a land grab. People would be trying to buy up all this property and they would make it much more expensive for him to do what he wanted to do. So he was buying these large chunks of lands in different people's names, like his nephew and his own goal and blah, blah, blah, blah. The guy was pretty smart. Yeah, he was. That Walt Disney guy, he was pretty smart. Still Walt Disney is still open to this day.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Okay, send anybody else, please send somebody else, I wonder. Walt Disney is still going on today. Good to know it's not dead. It's not dead, didn't die. Mickey's not dead. But Walt did. Walt did.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah, so I can understand why people think Disney world closed a long time ago, but it didn't, still open to this day. But Walt did. Walt did. Yeah, so I can understand why people think Disney World closed a long time ago, but it didn't still open to this day. There you go. Well, it was closed for the COVID, but it's regained right now. Yeah, okay. Well, it was closed for like a couple of Disney World was closed for a couple of weeks, but or a month or two, but then it opened and they were still having people with masks
Starting point is 00:37:42 on. So here's one. Did the monopoly guy have a monocle? A monocle? I want to say that he did. He did not have a monocle. He did not have a monocle. And some.
Starting point is 00:37:51 I'm featuring him with a monocle. You bitch. Like, whirlin' a top hat. That is the planter's peanut guy. This is see, this is why the planter's peanut guy had a monocle. And he was twirling his top hat, right? What are why you kind of cross this?
Starting point is 00:38:08 I don't understand why you would cross those things. One's a peanut and one is an actual man and one's running and one is dancing. I don't get it. They both do have top. Yeah, but there's lots of people have top hats. I don't remember them with a monocle. There'll be a lot cooler if they do. It seems like you should wear a monocle.
Starting point is 00:38:23 It just seems like you should have a monocle. I'm gonna do this. Fun fact, in Chicago, They'll be a lot cooler if they do. It seems like you should have a monocle. It just seems like you should have a monocle. I'm gonna do this. Fun fact, in Chicago, my grandparents lived in Melrose Park. Melrose Park was the very Italian part of Chicago. And the Italians, they kind of ran the city for a while. I don't know if you heard of a guy named Al Capone, the Italians were there, right?
Starting point is 00:38:42 They were there and then maybe they still do it this day. I don't know none of my business. That's where to go. I don't know anything. And so my grandfather, while he was Irish, was friendly with a lot of the Italians. And so he was one of the Irish guys that lived in the neighborhood, right? In back in those days, when they built those houses in the 20s and 30s, because they were around the prohibition era, it was popular to put bars in the basements.
Starting point is 00:39:06 It's flat as a piece of paper in Chicago. It's like, you know, not like here in Atlanta where you got all these hills. So they would build these subterranean basements there. Oh wow. It was like literally like you walk down a set of stairs outside the house and then you were in the basement.
Starting point is 00:39:21 And a lot of people had bars. But I'm not talking about like a bar like you think of now, like, you know, two little stools and some guys got some. A man cave. Yeah, like a man cave. Right. You know, oh my, oh, organic, duty duty, you know, all natural agave juice with some, you know, handmade whiskey that you can only buy once every seven years. My buddy built my buddy has a distillery in his office. It's like the most popular whiskey ever. It's worth $75,000. There's only one bottle and I have it. Fuck yourself. It's whiskey. Drink it. It's a stupid. It says stupid, by the way. So my grandparents built an entire bar, like a
Starting point is 00:40:01 cheers or style bar in their basement. It was actually a rounded bar that had like 20 seats on it, right, that went all the way around this wall and the wall had booze and liquor and all this stuff. That's so fun. Yeah, and then they had tables, like cocktail tables around, the basement, small, little black and white TV and then, you know, like a couple of bookshelves with some stuff.
Starting point is 00:40:22 So I remember when I was a kid, my grandparents used to throw parties. You'd have like smoky bones, McGillicutty, you know, like, a couple of bookshelves with some stuff. So I remember when I was a kid, my grandparents used to throw parties. You'd have like smoky bones, McGillicutty, you know, smoky Joe. Hey, Brian, hey, Brian, come here. Let me get you want to puff up my cigar. You know, you meet that's a Southern accent, not an Italian accent. But so he'd give me a, you know, they were just playing around with this, right? But one of the things that was always there, there was whiskey,
Starting point is 00:40:42 there were cigarettes, and there were planters, fucking peanuts. Everywhere in that basement. They had like 10, you know, big jars of them. No, there's that allergies around there. I don't think that thing. I don't think a peanut allergy existed until 2017 when someone figured it out on Facebook. Now, I know peanut allergies are very serious. I'm not making fun of it. But it seems like a new thing, right? I mean, I'm sure people had allergies to peanuts, but it didn't seem like anybody was too worried about it, back in my grandma's basement at least. And so I always, so I spent hours literally eating those peanuts
Starting point is 00:41:13 and staring at that little planter guy. They were delicious. And so. Salty, the striving salt, and crunchy. Oh my God, so good. I never in the history of ever, did I get him mixed up with the monopoly guy. It just doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:41:28 I never got him mixed up with the monopoly guy. I'm going back to their birth were in top hats. They're both were in top hats. That's what it is. This is a character. I think these are these things get just lumped in together. Someone else dies and then they think that someone else died. Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:41 So when Bruce Lee died, we all thought Chuck Norris died. That's why, that's my excuse. That's my excuse. That's my excuse. Okay, I'll accept that. Did you see that the NFT non-fungible token shit? Oh, yes, that's everywhere. You see that guy sold his like little drawing for $89 million. $89 million for a fucking gift, for a meme. You kidding me? Crazy, I've been reading all about it. I was thinking we should put some shows out on NFT. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:42:11 Yeah, why? I'm sure we're gonna get nothing for it, but I mean, you know, what if we put out the show on, but how does it work? How does the NFT work? Do you understand this? A little bit. I mean, I know that you can create something,
Starting point is 00:42:21 put it out there, then somebody can buy it, and then they own it digitally forever. But that doesn't mean that people are paying you copyrights or anything like that. No, you buy it once. It's just, it's like a trading card. Okay. It's like a collectible. It's a collectible.
Starting point is 00:42:36 It's a collectible. And so, the rarer that it is and the more demand that there is for that piece of art, our work, our Kings of Leon, and stuff. Yeah, yeah, that's true. They put a whole album, and they were selling it for like 0.5 NFT. I don't even know, like how much is an NFT?
Starting point is 00:42:52 I don't know, it was like a thought. Now the NFT is the actual item. Oh, it's the item. Okay, then you buy it with Bitcoin and cryptocurrency. Yeah, well, I've got some ripple that's worth nothing. I could probably send that away. There you go. Who's the guy who made the picture of Beanpole? It's named Beanpole. I don't know. that's worth nothing. I could probably send that way. There you go. Who's the guy who made the picture?
Starting point is 00:43:05 Is it Beanpole? It's named Beanpole. I don't know. It's people. People. People. And he's like, he's an older gentleman who's like, you know, he's dressed in a, he's got a Mr. Roger sweater on.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Did you see the reaction video where he's crying because it sold for $89 million? Yeah, it's one of the largest amounts of money for a living artist. He literally became a... There was some kind of weird crazy bidding more. But why? What was so good about his shit? Well, I mean, it was pretty cool. Piece of sugar. Wasn't that like the guy that had like the light going through his stomach or something like that?
Starting point is 00:43:37 It was a bunch of collection of different parts in time or something. So... Don't get it. Don't get my 89 minute. And so then what do you do? You you store it on a hard drive or something? Okay, so once you have it now you have it you can do whatever you want People can somehow like view it you can view it. Yeah, but you can't actually own the original no Okay, that's owned forever then it gets passed around like a trading guard. It's like a fucking picture Yeah, I mean people take pictures of the Mona Lisa all the time that's owned forever, the niggas passed around like a trading guard. It's like a fucking picture. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:05 I mean, people take pictures of the Mona Lisa all the time, but then they don't own the Mona Lisa. So I guess it's kind of a similar premise. Very similar. Wow. We gotta get in on this, hold the- We do. NFT episodes now on Thursdays.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Yeah. Great. Ha ha ha. Patreon on Wednesday, NFT on Thursday, two episodes on Thursday on Monday on Wednesday. I'm moving into Brian's house. You enjoy it. Don't laugh. Don't lie. And I love you. You can move into my house anytime.
Starting point is 00:44:36 Yeah. Sof may miss me. Oh, that's true. Well, tell them you can come on by and cuckold you anytime. Okay, great. You can cuckold you at any time. You can cuckold you at any time. You want and cuckold you any time. Okay, great. You can cuckold you at it's time. You can hold the choice. That's right. Hey, Jeff, anytime you want a cuckold, hold it, just come on by and let you cuckold her. Sweet girl.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Always holding everybody's cuck for them. Ha, ha, ha. Sweet girl. Sweet girl. Sweet girl. Sweet lady. Wow, what an interesting day it's been, huh? It has been.
Starting point is 00:45:03 If you only knew, maybe someday. Well, yes. Someday, we're going to present a full story about March 15, 2021. I'm pretty ready to find out. It is the I'd of March. That is true. Oh, that's why things went a little... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Join us on Clubhouse. Maybe we'll tell the story there. Maybe we'll tell the story on Clubhouse. This has been the most interesting studio day we have ever had. Yep. And we will share more about it on Clubhouse at Brian Green, B-R-Y-A-N-G-R-E-N at TCB Chrissy. That's K-R-I-S-S-Y at the commercial break on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:45:38 And on Clubhouse, you can follow our new club, the commercial break. So please do, you'll be notified about when we're recording live and you'll be able to join in. You know, when we open it up for a conversation, you'll be able to join in. We'd love to have you there. Yes.
Starting point is 00:45:52 www.tcbpodcast.com is where you can go to read all the show notes, find out more about Chrissy and I and N. View our entire library, 470-5848-449, is where you can text or leave a message. Be aware we may play the message if you leave one and standard text messaging rates do apply for all of you internationally. We occasionally get some text messages
Starting point is 00:46:13 in some voice messages. Yeah, and yeah, I think it's cool. I'm not sure what they're saying. We get a lot of comments on it. The password translates. I don't think it's Spanish. I think I could get through a Spanish comment. But we get a lot of comments on it. That's where it translates. I don't think it's Spanish. I think I could get through a Spanish comment. But we get a lot of comments on our YouTube
Starting point is 00:46:28 that are in completely different languages. And then it says C translation, and it makes even less sense. I feel like it made more sense when it was in Farsi than it did when it was in English. Do you know what I'm saying? I think some people are just fucking with this. A lot of people like to put first in the comment section. And so I had to get with Astrid and I'm like, why are people putting first
Starting point is 00:46:46 on the comments section? She's like, oh, people do that. They want to be first to comment. And I'm like, you want to be first of seven comments? What? Well, let's you do it. Yeah, hey, no problem. Good for you.
Starting point is 00:46:55 You can do, you'd be first of seven comments. Good for you. Okay, that's it. That's all we got for you today. We'll see you on the Friday edition. Until next time, bye. Bye. The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. We'll see you on the Friday edition until next time. Bye! a library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram and join the commercial break club
Starting point is 00:47:26 on Clubhouse to join in live recordings. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Hodley with additional content provided by Tina Cano. you you

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