The Commercial Break - The Hambone & Hoadley 500

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

It's our 500th episode!!!! Hambone & Hoadley in the Morning are back! 500 Episodes! Let's round it out with Frankie... Quite Frankie 5 Signs that she's cheating on you! You're just scared of pus...sy! Crank it Where are the facts! We want Frankie to host Cheaters It's only ass cheating Living in Frankie's head would be...very bad Bust their ass out! If she has a phone, she's cheating! He do got more LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us   212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A.  Producer: Gustavo B.  To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:25 Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. What day of the week do you look forward to most? Well, it should be Wednesday. Ahem, Wednesday. Why, you wonder? Whopper Wednesday, of course. When you can get a great deal on a whopper. Flame grilled and made your whay.
Starting point is 00:00:47 And you won't want to miss it. So make every Wednesday a whopper Wednesday. Only at Burger King, where you rule. I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going to let you go. I'm not going quack and bush one more time traffic and weather before
Starting point is 00:01:28 Ham bone and only you know you want it. You know you need it is Friday morning If you're anything like me you're gonna take a little nap and tune in make sure that I am bone and only are staying on The straight and narrow coming back from a long of quite frankly a long time off due to that pig stunt They did but I'm happy to have them back here in studio You know they took my job, but that's okay I don't want to wait anybody else to worry about it Let's get into it one last check of traffic and weather with our lady in the sky Julia barking pussy Julia How's it looking up there? here, Jizzy Jazz, good to see ya! And it's great to have Handbone and Holly back in the morning, WSHIT,
Starting point is 00:02:05 checkin' the traffic here at Crabapple, the local Crabapple area. Don't see too much trouble, all the pedestrian areas are good, all the streets are clear, as usual. Uh, most people goin' to work late today, it's Friday, but you do have a little bit of a backup in front of Tina, Tan, and Tweed, as they start anal bleaching this week there at the, uh, Tina, Tan, and Tweed, so get 20% off when you mention W-S-H-I-T. Uh, yeah, nothing else to report.
Starting point is 00:02:29 It's a great day weather-wise. Minus 32 degrees, another six feet of snow. Uh, two in this weekend, but that's OK. We know how to roll here at, uh, Crabapple. You know how it goes. I'll send it back to you in the studio, Jizzy Jazz, and then, uh, super excited to have Hand, Bone, and Oldly back in the morning. Fuck yeah. Excuse my language. Fuck yeah, I have bone at all day in the studio, jizzy jazz, and super excited to have Ham, Bone and Oldly back in the morning. Fuck yeah, excuse my language.
Starting point is 00:02:48 Fuck yeah, I have Bone and Oldly in the morning. I got a couple more minutes of safe harbor. Put your earmuffs on, kids, if that's what you're for. So let's take a short break here on WSHIT and then we'll be back with Ham, Bone and Oldly in the morning. They make their triumph of return on a Friday morning. Oh yeah! 6am in the morning WSHIT the greater crabappler is happy to have us back I can feel it in my boners! Oh yeah!
Starting point is 00:03:23 Oh yeah head bone! Hey old lady good to see you this morning! Good to be back! It was good to see you last night too, you know what I'm saying? Woohoo! Taking my pants down, going round and round the Hodlain! That's how the Hambone does it, you know it! Alright, back from a little two week unsolicited vacation.
Starting point is 00:03:40 I just want to say one more time, I'm really sorry to anybody we offended with that pig. We didn't mean to get it pregnant. But everything's turning out okay for the pig. Free veterinary services by Crabapple's finest. You know that guy down there? Dr. Dimple working his magic at the veterinary clinic. Got a ton of new music this morning. Got a ton of new music this morning on Ambon and Hoadly. I can't wait. We didn't mean to make you pregnant.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Don't worry about the pregnant thing, Hoadly. We got a show to do. All right. Oink oink. Oink oink indeed. Those little monkey babies be coming out anytime. Lots of new music and lots of new pig babies coming your way. That's right, Hambone.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Don't you worry. number seven caller number lucky number seven is gonna get tickets to see Dee Snider solo at the Crab Apple Amphitheater and who doesn't want to go see Dee Snider solo? I'm telling you what that guy can still kick it. I don't know what's in his pants but man man is not a bass guitar. I'll tell you that much. That's right I'm about that guy still work. I got weird lululemon long before it was cool. You know what I'm saying And besides the thinning hair he seems to be doing okay for himself I Mean who doesn't want to play the crab Apple amphitheater? There's two three hundred seats in there Jesus
Starting point is 00:05:23 He's hit that big time coming to Crabapple. That's right, Hoadley. Oh my God, Hambone, I really missed you. I missed you too. Oh, those two weeks. Two weeks off. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had to stay up late, go to bed early, if you know what I mean, that's how it works.
Starting point is 00:05:39 That's right, speaking of, we do class that plate of Coke over here. Oh yeah, of course. Feel free to do it on your own. High energy, that's what we like to bring here to Hambone and Hoadley in the morning. I'd like to thank the general manager of WSHIT for allowing us a third chance here
Starting point is 00:05:53 at the morning drive time slot. I'd also like to remind anybody who's going to the D. Snyder, big D. Snyder Fest, over there at the Grab Apple Amphitheater that the Sheriff's Office, Grab Apple Sheriff's Office does recommend you leave all glass pipes at home this time because of the incident last time. That's right, Hambowl. That's right.
Starting point is 00:06:09 It was terribly unfortunate. Yeah, there was a big bust. Big bust. And it happened at the Foreigner concert and it left Foreigner with just three or four people to play for. And let me tell you, a Foreigner is a hot ticket at Crabapple. That's it. Foreigner.
Starting point is 00:06:22 That's what I want to see. You can't beat Foreigner. No, you can't beat Foreigner. You know what can beat Foreigner? A stick. That's what I want to be born. No, you can't be for it. You know, you know, it could be foreigner a stick That's what could be for now Speaking of foreigner, you know, I laid some pipe last night. I was telling my girl I Was saying hey You know what? I'd like to see don't I like to hear that brand new song by James called laid I mean, what is that?
Starting point is 00:06:56 We're naming songs laid now. I like it in the 21st century. We're pulling it down. We're pulling in we're pulling in We got James. We got crash test dummies, we got brand new cranberries. You heard it last, folks. You heard it last. Michael Jackson's newest album, Thriller. It's all exciting. It's all coming up today on Hambone and only in the morning. But first I want to check the time.
Starting point is 00:07:22 6.03 in the morning. And I want to check the weather. That's shitty in the morning, and I want to check the weather. That's shitty, don't worry about it, it's Friday. We've been waiting all week for the weekend. We have been waiting all week for the weekend, as we do every week, my friend Chrissy. I don't know if you've been reading about this Kate Middleton, but she can't be found. I know, it's crazy. I mean, she's missing somewhere.
Starting point is 00:07:44 Listen, I wouldn't get, that girl wouldn't be missing if she was with me. I'll tell you that right now. I'd wrap her up in some kind of tangle tangle twangle. You know what I'm saying? That girl would be hanging from the back of my door. I know you, Hambone. You're so naughty. What a spicy piece of sausage that one is. Hey, speaking of pepperoni, this show is sponsored in part by the good people at Crabapple Pizza. Crabapple Pizza. That's not that good, but it's what we got.
Starting point is 00:08:13 Delivered in 30 minutes or less. Delivered in 30 minutes or less because no one usually orders. I'd also like to say that the people at Crabapple Pizza would like to apologize for so much plastic in their Saturday pizzas. Seems they forgot to take the wrappers off. But we'll forgive them, it's great pizza over there. It's not great pizza, but it's fine. It'll do. It'll do. What else do we got? Since Papa John's pulled out of town, there's no other
Starting point is 00:08:43 choices. Oh, Hambone, I missed you. Since Papa John's pulled out of town. There's no other choices. Oh Hey, I'm about I missed you I missed you too, and I just like to say to the big the good people at Papa John's I really don't think that was arson. I really don't I Think that was an accidental fire Why'd you have to run so fast? I mean now you're even knows a crabapple pizza 50% off Parties are 12 or more crabapple pizza after the D Snyder fest over there crabapple the amphitheater remember call number seven you're gonna win two free tickets a Styrofoam igloo cooler one package of free ice from the local Sitco crabapple Sitco and
Starting point is 00:09:20 Six I count them six zeemas in a glass bottle of course. That's a great prize pack. That is a great prize pack. I tell you what, nothing like a Saturday night D. Snyder and some Zema to get you going. Woo! If that doesn't tickle your Twinkleberries, I don't know what will. 6.04 in the morning, only six hours left to go. I thought I'd remind everybody, looking for something to do this Saturday night, go ahead and watch the big game over at Barney's.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Barney's, the only pub in town that legally sells alcohol. And this week, you know who they're playing? Jason Farting Knife. And I don't know if you've seen a good Farting Knife set, but he used to play some of the greatest covers ever. I have not, Ham Bone, but I know you have. Oh, I have. That's where I get the good stuff.
Starting point is 00:10:19 I'll be heading down to Yuckles. Yuckles? Comedy club. Comedy club and dating service. That's right. Yeah, I've met a few ladies through the Yuckles. Yuckles! Comedy club and dating service. That's right. Yeah I've met a few ladies through the Yuckles and let me tell you something that that is a legit service right there. If you are looking for local Crabapple singles that fit the bill there's no other place to go except Yuckles! Comedy store and dating service that is a fantastic place. They also
Starting point is 00:10:44 serve some great margaritas over at Yuckels. Bring your own wine. I love a good margarita. It's more like a wine, Rita, but you know, it's something. It'll do. Yeah, listen, you know what I say, Chrissy? You know what I've said all my entire time here at WSHIT?
Starting point is 00:10:59 Lube it up. Doesn't matter what it is, lube it up. Well, hold on, Hambone. That's what got us in trouble with the pig. Well, listen, we didn't realize, we didn't realize Coach Stefan was gonna go hard on the pig. I thought there were boundaries
Starting point is 00:11:16 that I didn't need to talk about. But you know, when you're coaching high school football, I guess anything goes. That was a crazy night. That was a crazy night, especially for Coach Steffen. Got out of hand. Again, the Piggy's being taken care of by local Crabapple Veterinary Tech Services. They also offer manicures, pedicures, and massages on Tuesdays and Thursdays over at Crabapple Vet.
Starting point is 00:11:44 I don't know if you've had a good massage from the local vet yet. I have. Oh man, I'd say I have. It's amazing. It's amazing. The sound of the animals really lulls you to sleep. I agree. All that barking just makes me feel at home.
Starting point is 00:11:56 And by the way, a benefit of going and getting your massage at the local vet tech, you leave without fleas. So that's the good news. Ask him to get a flea oil massage, 20% off if you mention WSHIT, Hambone and Hoadley in the morning. Tell him Hambone sent you. Tell him there's nothing like a bone, ham bone. My manager, general manager here at WSHIT also wanted us to mention that this week is
Starting point is 00:12:34 Crabapple Scooter Safety Week, Chrissy. Oh, of course it is. Yes, make sure all the little ones... It snuck up on me. Oh yeah, well listen, every year it comes and it goes and it seems like time flies by. There's nothing like a good scooter appreciation week, scooter safety appreciation week. I just want to remind all the little tykes out there, put a helmet on! And that goes for the big tykes too, everybody put a helmet on!
Starting point is 00:12:57 Cover it up. Yeah, so ladies, you need knee pads? I know where to get them. You know what I'm saying? Hey, nah, alright. Cha cha cha. It's a big Friday here. You're on fire, Hambone! Hey You know what I'm saying? Nah, alright. Cha cha cha. It's a big Friday here at WVU. You're on fire, Hambone.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Hey listen, what can I say? Two weeks off, this is what comes out. When you've literally been awake for two weeks, what did you expect? I wasn't going to come in here and take a nap, that's for sure. I'm going to keep my job. I'm going to feed those twelve children and the three I don't count. Oh, hey, listen, that reminds me, Crabapple Adoption Services is now open five days a week. Drop your kids off.
Starting point is 00:13:37 No explanation needed. What a service. What a great service. What a service. What a great service. What a world. What a town. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else other than Crabapple. Why would you go anywhere else but Crabapple?
Starting point is 00:13:53 Five hundred strong. Five hundred people strong. We've got this ten watt megastation right here in the middle of it. We're the only game in town. Unless you want to go watch television or something like that, why would you? Everybody's got a radio in their car, right? Radio's not dying, is it? No, that's right. Not with ham bone and Odley in the morning, I'll tell you that much right now.
Starting point is 00:14:11 And hey, while you're stopping by the adoption services, make sure to go next door to the public health services. I also wanted to remind you, it's that time of year to get your syphilis shot. Of course, we've had a terrible run with syphilis the last six or seven years. I think I know who to blame. That koala. That koala. That's right. That's the last time we got suspended. That fucking koala. He was climbing every tree, every tent pole. Anything that popped up, that koala was climbing.
Starting point is 00:14:44 It was wild. I know, they say they eat eucalyptus, but I'm not so sure. It was guzzling something else altogether. Alright, so let's do this. I think we should take a short break before the FCC kicks us off again. I think we should take a short break and then we'll come back before the FCC kicks us off again. I think we should take a short break and then we'll come back with more high shenanigans here on WSHI.
Starting point is 00:15:10 What do you think? It's the morning zoo crew! Happy Friday! Happy Friday! Hambone and Hoadley in the morning! Our 500th episode of Hambone and Hoadley! We're so glad you're taking the ride with us. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Hambone and Hoadley. Oh yeah. I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial break and then follow us on TikTok at TCB podcast. Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Or if you've got some drama in your life, a little fun story, or anything really, we're desperate for content. Call and leave us a message at 212-433-3TCB. And don't forget to check out tcbpodcast.com because that's got it all. Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors
Starting point is 00:16:05 and get back to the commercial break. It's after bedtime, the kids are asleep, and the moms are out to play. We're Dina and Kristen, the duo behind the Instagram account, Big Little Feelings. I'm Dina, I'm a child therapist and mom of two who nerds out on all things neurobiology and psychology.
Starting point is 00:16:25 And Kristin is a parent coach who wrangles three kids on a daily basis here to give it to us like it is. We weren't meant to do this parenting thing alone. Consider after bedtime your village. Follow After Bedtime with big little feelings on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Well 500 episodes, Chrissy. It's been quite the amazing ride.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Sorry, I didn't realize you didn't have your headphones on. I didn't realize you weren't ready. I was getting my celebratory drink. Yeah, there you go. Look at you. Cheers. Good for you. What is that?
Starting point is 00:17:01 Kettle one and OJ? Yeah. Peach? Little peach. A little peach spritzer? Little peach spritzer. Oh, that's kind of what they're getting creative with those drinks. They are. Yeah, there's a spritzer for everything. Yeah, we just had Boone's Farm when we were kids. You know what I'm saying? Like some thick cherry syrup. You know how they make, what do they call them, the Shirley Temples? I think that's what Boone's Farm was, really bad white wine with Shirley Temple juice.
Starting point is 00:17:21 I'm pretty sure of it, actually. I think you're right. It was absolutely disgusting. Now those things taste actually good. They taste like seltzer water, flavored seltzer water. Then you just get drunk all of a sudden. So, what a great product to put on the market. And I can't tell the difference between an alcohol bottle and an non-alcoholic bottle anymore. Yeah. I wouldn't know. For years, I thought liquid death was alcohol. Oh, alcoholic.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Yeah, until I learned that it was just water. And what an amazing marketing rise. They're all over the news right now. Yeah, now they're worth like 1.4 billion or something. That's insane. That's insane. Water in a can. Well, how can we not make liquid death? Can we have one fucking good idea that makes us a billion dollars? No. The answer is no. Can we have one fucking good idea that makes us a billion dollars? No! The answer is no.
Starting point is 00:18:07 We could really mine that notebook. Yeah, we could. But I mean, what's in there of worth value? Brian bitching and ideas that never made us money in the first place. Ideas that we tried for one minute, it didn't make us any money anyway. Oh, 500. 500 episodes. I don't know what to say.
Starting point is 00:18:25 I think that it goes probably without saying, but I'll say it anyway, because we needed to kill time. That all of you, every one of you that have been listening from the beginning, from the middle, from the end, however long you have been listening, Chrissy and I are grateful from the bottom of our hearts in all sincerity.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Absolutely. There is no way we would have gotten to 500 episodes unless you, the listeners, had been there on the other end. Because quite frankly, it's pretty discouraging to do a podcast to no listeners. But for 500 episodes, for sure. But for about 427 of those, it was true. We had no listeners. So thank you very much for listening. Thank you, my friend, for taking this incredibly fucking wild ride with me. As it has.
Starting point is 00:19:08 And I have to say this, I am pretty fucking proud of us because I've known us for a long time. And if there's one thing I know about us is that we're big idea people with lots of motivations and intentions. Very rarely do we actually follow through on them. And so I'm so proud of us as a team that we have managed to just trudge it through good, bad, you know, money, no money, all of it, you know, bad times, good times, deaths in the family, everything. It's just been amazing. It really has been. I love you. I love you.
Starting point is 00:19:42 Thank you. Jeff loves you too. Yeah, Jeff, Astrid. Jeff said, we were talking about it last night, and he said, what do you do? I mean, that's a big accomplishment. What do you do 500 times? And I was like, well, more, because we didn't air.
Starting point is 00:19:55 It's more like 800 times. It really is. I mean, I went through the server last night, because I had to, because it's breaking down. I went through the server last night because I had to, because it's breaking down. I went through the server last night and we have 12 almost terabytes worth of the commercial breaks sitting on that server. 12 terabytes. That includes video.
Starting point is 00:20:13 That's gold! That's gold right there! Someday some archeologist is going to be digging around North Atlanta, what used to be North Atlanta, or some dinosaur is's gonna be chewing up old bones. And they're gonna pull out that server and they're gonna go, first of all, what the fuck is this? And then when they learn how to get it, they're gonna go, this is what was going on in the world?
Starting point is 00:20:34 This? No wonder they died off. No wonder, yes. These two idiots were representing some part of the population? Well, a very small part of the population, I must remind you, if you get this in the future. But I think that it is 500 of what? Right.
Starting point is 00:20:54 I've never done 500 of anything. I know, that's what Jeff was pointing out. Never. I don't even think I've done 500 days of work at any other company. 500 whole days of work? No, no way. This is a maze ball. It really is. It is a big milestone. And it's been a wild ride and we've changed it up a bunch and people have stuck with us. And you know, if you go back, like I did yesterday, if you go back to some of those episodes that we didn't there, but that were recorded very
Starting point is 00:21:21 early on, they are fucking terrible. I mean, just terrible. But there is a seed of something there, right? There's something there and we're just trying to work it out. It was the lotus flower seed. Yes, it was the lotus flower seed, as you will hear next week. It was the lotus flower unfolding and there was something there. And we're not there, we're not the funniest podcast out there, we're not the biggest podcast out there, we're not even close to the best podcast out there, but we're a podcast out there. And like the Cheesecake Factory, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:21:54 It's fine. We're fine. Everything's fine. But there was something there and what grew out of it is But there was something there and what grew out of it is insane. I mean, it's just insane. I know. I'm still amazed. I'm amazed. I'm grateful. I'm usually stressed out and tired. But this is the hour, you know, a number of times a week. These are the hours that I cherish. The little creation that could. It is. It's the little creation that could and who knows how long it'll go on. I think we're contractually obligated to do this for at least a little more while. But thank you very much to you, Chrissy. Thank you very much to Astrid, to Jeff, to Gustavo, to Tina and Christina
Starting point is 00:22:43 and Marianne, Will the Champ, these are all special people in the commercial break lore because they really helped this podcast kind of putter along. And without you, the listener, and them as listeners then getting involved in the commercial break, we certainly would not have been able to do half the stuff that we've been doing. No, super grateful. Super, super grateful. So, 500 episodes, so what do we do for the next 500? Oh!
Starting point is 00:23:12 I mean, just to think about 500. Well, the rate at which we do episodes now, it's not going to take us long to get to a thousand, I'll tell you that. I think like two years or something like that, we'll be at a thousand in two years. And by the way, just in the podcast universe, I don't think there are many podcasts that have reached 500 episodes. I can't imagine, it's certainly not more than a thousand. It's probably less than 500. It may even be less than 200. Because nobody's crazy enough to do four shows a week. No, the only people, I mean, there are lots of podcasts that broadcast daily, but they,
Starting point is 00:23:43 you know, do they do hours? I don't know. Joe Rogan is, I think, there are lots of podcasts that broadcast daily, but do they do hours? I don't know. Joe Rogan is, I think, probably the closest example that I can think of. That guy does four or five hours, four days a week, I think, five days a week sometimes. That is fucking insane. I cannot imagine sitting in the studio with you. I'm sorry, love you. But five hours at a time
Starting point is 00:24:05 and then doing anything else with my life. I am exhausted the second that I get out of here. I know. Aren't you? Yes. I keep telling my people this, and especially my wife, who is an fucking angel. Yes, she is. But the second I walk out this door, the reason why I think I like where we're at right now is because it's all, I am so
Starting point is 00:24:28 humbled by all of it the second that I walk out the door, right? I can sit here and say anything I want to and have fun and all that, but the second that I walk out the door, I got a real life with real responsibilities and, you know, emergencies and crazy shit. And when you do a couple hours of this show and you're on and you're funny and you're trying to be funny and all this other stuff, you walk out the door, you're quite frankly, you're exhausted. And my wife is wonderful because she knows
Starting point is 00:24:52 for at least 15 minutes after the show gets done, I just need a little bit of a minute to decompress. And to think that we've done this 500 times makes me just a little bit more tired. I'm just like, oh shit. I know. Wow. Wow. We don't wrinkle our chains very often, but I think this is one we should be proud of ourselves for. 500. 500. It's a big one. There are 612 hours of the commercial break in total. If you want to go listen to it, I dare you to. I dare you to get through the first 50
Starting point is 00:25:24 episodes. I mean, there's a couple of nuggets in there, you know, Shamalama, I dare you to. I dare you to get through the first 50 episodes. I mean, there's a couple of nuggets in there, you know, Shamalama ding dong, you know, grass fed grass. There's a couple of Waffle House. There's a couple of good ones in there. From the first season. Yeah. Dee Dee Cantor is another one that I can think of. You can go listen to Dee Dee Cantor. There are a couple of little gems in there, but for the most part, it's just us trying our best to figure out what exactly a podcast should be. And I don't know if we figured it out yet, but we're here. We are here.
Starting point is 00:25:52 We're here doing it again. Yeah, and now we have these amazing people that are coming and talking to us. That's another thing that just like blows my mind. Oh, the interviews, yeah. The interviews are blowing my mind. Not blowing my mind in the sense that the conversations are mind-blowing, some of them are.
Starting point is 00:26:06 What it really is is how in the fuck did they end up at the commercial break? And that is the most that I'm being so honest when I ask that question. And it still befuddles me just when I think about it right now. I know, it's mind-blowing. Yeah, it really is amazing. So yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:24 Should we review Frankie? You want to do a Frankie episode? Do you want to close out with a Frankie? I think we might need to close with a Frankie. I think that's what we're going to do. Okay. So let me do this. I'm going to find a Frankie snippet, possibly one we've already done before.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Let's go back and get a second bite at the apple. Cause not all of them were gold. Like there's some Frankie episodes. I think we were really on some episodes. We were just kind of sleepwalking through because at one point we were doing like one Frankie episode a week. I mean, it was getting a little crazy there. He stopped producing so much content.
Starting point is 00:26:59 So we, and I think we needed to take a step back from Frankie for a minute. Yeah. Well, we tried to do that a couple of times, but then he kept putting out content, so we kept going back to the teat. Yeah, we kept going to the well and going to the well and going to the well. Quite frankly, there was a time there where I think like... Quite frankly. Quite frankly. Quite Frankie. Quite Frankie. I think we were tired. I think we just needed something to get us there.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Yes, that's exactly right. There was a lot going on. It was a pandemic. I'm going to start saying quite frankly. Yeah, quite frankly, there was a lot going on. There was a pandemic. People were having children, mainly me, lots and lots of children. And I think we were just tired there for a minute.
Starting point is 00:27:43 That's what we were doing two episodes a week. We're doing four. And we're doing less videos than we ever done before. It's crazy. We did more episodes and we just started relying on Frankie to get us through. Quite Frankie. All right. So, well then let's do this. Let's take a break. I'll find a good Frankie clip. We'll give it to the audience because I know they want it. We get text messages every day on that phone and Frankie B is a part of 50% of them at least. So that tells me two things. Number one, people have been listening for a while because we haven't done Frankie in a while. And number two, they do like Frankie. Yeah, I mean, he's hard to be. Yeah. One of these days, and I don't know where it's going to be and I don't know when it's
Starting point is 00:28:20 going to be and I don't know how it's going to go down, but I know it. Our fates are going to cross. The destinies are going to come together. It's written in the stars. The commercial break and Frankie are going to do something fun and amazing at some point. But I just haven't pulled the trigger yet on actually reaching out because I'm like, well, let's get as far as we can go with it. And then we'll ask Frankie to come on. And it's not today. I don't want anybody to get too excited. It's not today. But I know it's happening sooner rather than later. Frankie is going to find a way to the commercial breaker. We're going to find... Well, we've already found Frankie. He's going to find a way to us because we've already found him and minded for everything it was worth. All right. Let's take a break. I'll find Frankie.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Episode number 500. Thank you very much. We are so grateful to everyone who has listened. All the people have come on the show as guests and been interviewing and certainly everyone who's been helping in the background. You are the loves, the diamonds in our eyes. That's right. That's right. All right, we'll be back. loves the diamonds in our eyes. That's right. That's right. We'll be back. Well, thank the baby Jesus.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Brian took a breath. And now I will use this opportunity to let you know that we've got a brand new phone number. That's right. It's 212-433-3TCB. And you can text us any time you want. Or you can call and leave us a voicemail. And we might just use your message on the show once Brian gets through all the messages he missed last year, of course.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Anyway, you can also find and DM us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. And of course, all of our audio and video is easily found on tcbpodcast.com. Now I'm going to thank G one more time that we have sponsors, so thank G and here they are. All right, and we're back on the 500th episode of The Commercial Break. And we've been opining on the last segment. Not opining, but we've been thinking back on about all the things and people and places that have been helping us or somehow served us in one way or the other.
Starting point is 00:30:28 I forgot to mention Mempho, which was a big stepping stone for us. Oh, that was a big stepping stone. We actually got out there in the world to realize we should probably just stay right here. Shep was just talking about somebody that he, they were talking about they wanted to do a podcast up at Mempho, I was like, learn from Brian and I.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Yeah, it's just not a good idea. It's too loud, it's too noisy, and no one really cares about a podcast when you've got fucking Beck or Radiohead or somebody up there playing who gives a shit. Cage the Elephant, who really gives a shit about TCB podcast? Unless you're drunk and you're at the back of the crowd and you happen to stumble
Starting point is 00:31:09 into the tent. Which is what happened. Which is exactly what happened. We gave away a ton of stickers and lost a ton of money. But I was so happy that Jeff was like, yeah, let's do this, let's do this. And then within an hour, I was like, I literally lugged all this equipment, flew all this way. And yeah, and the porta potty smell. Nicole Soule-North You live and you learn. Jared Slauson You do live and you learn. Next time I go,
Starting point is 00:31:41 I'm going with a VIP pass. It doesn't say the commercial break. you learn. Next time I go, I'm going with a VIP pass. It doesn't say the commercial break. Yes, that's what you need. By the way, can you get your Mempho tickets now? Not yet, but you can get your Riverfest. Riverfest, Memphis. Let's shout that out for our good buddy, Jeff. Well, her husband, my good buddy. Okay, so we've been thinking about all this stuff that's really made the commercial break what it is, and we would be remiss if we did not at least touch base on one huge part of the commercial break. We got nostalgic.
Starting point is 00:32:13 And we got nostalgic about video breakdowns that we started doing early on in the show. And I think the very first one that we did was just an audio from a video of Kenny Copeland blowing coronavirus away. But then quickly after that, I found this guy on YouTube. And don't ask me how I found him. I have no idea. I don't remember. But his name is Frank, we call him Frankie B. He's Frank Bernardo. We'll give out his real name. His name is Frank Bernardo, Frankie B, big part of the show, lots of episodes, breaking down almost every single one of the videos that he has put out there on YouTube. He's just a big lug nut trying to teach guys how to get more tail. I mean, he's a pickup artist.
Starting point is 00:32:55 Let's call it like we see it. That's true. He's a pickup artist, but he's big. He's just kind of a lovable, oh, I guess is the best way to put it. He's not really an oaf. Well, he also has his investment opportunity. Oh, he does have his investment. Yeah. Frankie B. The Salon Suite. The Salon Suite. The Salon Suite.
Starting point is 00:33:11 But you know- He came up with that. What's that? He came up with that. He came up with the idea for Salon Suites. 30 years after the first person that came up with it came up with it. He heard it here last. He heard it here last.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Frankie B. Designer and creator of, designer and creator of Salon Suisse. Yeah. Okay. So I polled the little Frankie B while we were on the break. I polled the very first video that we ever did. Oh yeah. You want a second bite at the apple? I do.
Starting point is 00:33:41 I do too. Let's do it. Here's Frankie teaching us how we can identify five signs that she's cheating on you. So gentlemen, in today's video, we're going to go over five more sneaky signs that your wife just might be cheating on your ass. God, he's worse than hand bone and holy in the morning. Might be cheating on your ass. Hey guys, it's cheating on your ass and I'm going to show you how to identify it. I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I build muscles and I do cocaine all day
Starting point is 00:34:33 I don't have a real job. I just look at the camera I get lots of tail, but it's inappropriate a twice I think you need to go back to the original music. He does starring Frank Bernardo Welcome to the video. If this is your first time here, my name is welcome to the video You don't welcome someone to your video. Welcome to the video. They actually chose to press the play button They got it 10-4 understood Frank Bernardo This channel's geared for all guys over the age of 50 who want to up their game, look and feel better about themselves in grooming, fitness, fashion, lifestyle, nachos, cheese, fondue, lighting, camera, action, go. And lifestyle. You know, but if you're a gentleman... Lifestyle. Lifestyle.
Starting point is 00:35:21 You know, Chrissy, I've been thinking about changing my lifestyle. That's right, Brian. I'm eating too many fatty foods. I'm not getting enough exercise. I certainly don't get my dick enough wet enough. So I'm changing my lifestyle altogether. Sounds good. Sounds like a plan. Thanks, Chrissy.
Starting point is 00:35:35 In your forties, you know, don't turn the video off, you know, because, you know, 40 years old, you think you're the men of the world and you know everything that's going on out there and nothing could be further from the truth. Let me tell you, as a 72 year old man, when I was 40, I had it all figured out. I was just opening my first salon suite. I had a girlfriend who was totally in an age inappropriate and I thought I had it all figured out. But you know when I was, Chrissy?
Starting point is 00:36:03 I was still at the age where I was scared of pussy. That's right. That's right. So take this information, absorb it, utilize it, and put it into play because it just might make you a little bit more wiser. Chrissy, can you have a little bit more jaded? A little bit more jaded. Yeah, a little bit more ugly. A little bit more mean. Can you hand me the notebook so I can take notes? Yeah. When you're a guy my age. My age. Gentlemen, so before we get cranking into this video, anytime you like it, anytime you like the information, anytime you think that this information is going to help you.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Anytime at all. Press the smash the subscribe button. I'm dying for listeners. Catch your cheating dog wife, then smash that like button. Your cheating dog wife. smash that like button. You're cheating dog wife He was burned. I'm now remembering this video and I'm remembering how quickly we broke down Frankie's psyche Yeah, this clearly happened to him and not so long ago when he as he's recording this video and don't forget to subscribe All right, let's get cranking into this video.
Starting point is 00:37:05 But can I get... Crank it. Can I get... Yeah, crank it. Let's get cranking into this. It's the third time he's used the word crank. Who used the word crank? We're cranking now.
Starting point is 00:37:13 We're sucking diesel. Can I just give Frankie props where props are due? At least in this video, he is a handsome gentleman. He is. He is a handsome gentleman. He's got that block jaw. If you like that. Yeah, if you like that muscley, you know, old. If you like that look.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Wrinkly. No, I just say like the black, you know, the black shirt, the stylish jeans, that weird look in his eye, like his wife just cheated on him. It's a wild look. It's a wild look. I'm a wild man. There's a lot of you guys out there that are saying, you know what? He's in a chair and he just put his leg up.
Starting point is 00:37:48 He just put his leg up. Over the arm. Remember for a while there, the ladies were going crazy over the guys that were keeping their legs spread open, you know, like that big dick energy, whatever they were calling it, right? This is the ultimate spread your legs wide open. My wife ain't cheating on me. Look at this.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Look what's going on here. Why would she cheat on me? This is the ultimate spread your legs wide open She got me look at this look what's going on here? Why was she cheat on me? I don't know because you're an asshole right do you pay attention to her? Are you affectionate are you romantic? Are you giving her what she needs? I can't even imagine Frank Frank he tried to be for me. Yeah, can you imagine him seducing somebody? No. Lighting a bunch of candles and putting rose petals in a bathtub. Hey! Jumping out with only a towel on.
Starting point is 00:38:32 Hey, get in the tub. I'm going to get you from behind. Don't drown. Here we go. Woo! But he's so like, he's so weird, looking weirdly into the camera. Did you give her what she needs? Did you lube up?
Starting point is 00:38:49 So weird. It's making me nervous. Sexually. Oh, sexually. Think about it. Are you? Wait, hold on, I'm going to think about it. Gross.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Ew. Are Gross. Ew. Are you? Ew. Does that excite you? I got more. Does that excite you? I got more. What kind of shape are you in?
Starting point is 00:39:13 Are you taking care of yourself? Are you making sure you're the best possible you? You could be for your wife? You want her to be that way, right? You want her to look good? You want her to dress nice? You want her to be that way, right? You want her to look good? You want her to dress nice? You want her to be s- Oh yeah, I literally stuck a stick on her head and put a $10 bill there and I have her run around the house and try and catch it. That's what I do.
Starting point is 00:39:37 You think she doesn't want the same to you? Guys, stop being complacent. Alright? That's how you get yourself in trouble. Here's the facts 53 percent of all wives cheat on their men 53 percent. Can that possibly be real? Here's the fact here's the fact from where I need according to my based on my life experiences 53% of my wife's Think that's right. It can't be true, right? That cannot be true. I hope it's not true. I hope so too.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Now I feel like I'm paranoid. So let's talk about this. If I got you and nine of your buddies together, and I interview all 10 of you guys, and I asked you, do you think your wife is cheating on you? Well, probably I would say all 10 would say no. But guess what? Five of you guys are wrong. Five of you guys. So, room of 10, at least five of the wives are cheating on your husband.
Starting point is 00:40:36 That is not true. It cannot be true. I am hoping desperately that it is not true. I mean, if we're pulling in like emotional dalliances, then maybe we're getting to 35%. But of everybody, man, women, whatever, cheating. But it cannot be 53% physically sleep with other people. Yeah, I would, like I said, hope not. God, that's another thing I got to stress out about at night. Now think about that. I am! Here's a figure.
Starting point is 00:41:07 67% of all guys cheat. What? 67! 67? Damn. God damn it. You got a lot more to worry about than I do, Chrissy. I'm just going to let you go home and worry about it for the both of us.
Starting point is 00:41:18 39% of all women cheat. 39% of men get caught. You want to hear something alarming? 48% of all cheating men get caught. You want to hear something alarming? 48% of all cheating wives get caught. And in this video. They got caught in this video? They got caught in this video. Joey Greco or whatever.
Starting point is 00:41:37 Cheater. You're a fucker. I'm going to show you how you catch them. He would actually be a good host of that cheater show. Oh, he would be the best. Yeah. I'm actually gonna write a note to, who owns that now, Joey Greco? I'm gonna write a note to Greco and be like, dude, I realize that after you got stabbed
Starting point is 00:41:54 multiple times, you're probably not looking to get back into the cheaters game, but Frankie B is on it. Your wife has become more judgemental towards your marriage or your relationship yep check that one off the back there brunette street more judgmental about my what notes about cheating spouse issues always been trying to rationalize her behavior always been trying to get out that your marriage is far worse than what it is
Starting point is 00:42:25 you know why because I don't think it's possible for my wife to make out that our marriages are worse than it is I think I'm safe there, I think I'm good hey guys don't check that box it makes them feel like cheating wasn't an option I had to do it, it was so bad they're getting all theatrical and dramatic on the marriage. I had to have sex with a pig. It's the only thing that made sense. My nickname is Ham
Starting point is 00:42:54 Bone. What did you expect? Ham Bone. I just put two and two together. Oh, good old Ham Bone and Holy. two and two together. Oh good old Hanvon and Holey. Everything you do is wrong all of a sudden. Why? Why all of a sudden? You know why? Because she's trying to rationalize her thoughts. She's wrong. You know women are a strange breed. They can actually change... A strange breed of what? Frankie! Oh my god. Frankie! Frankie! There's designer breeds. You can get the designer breed, mud breed, you can get the pure breads, you know how it goes. They're all weird in their own
Starting point is 00:43:36 way. They're a weird breed. Oh my god, that is probably one of the more offensive things Frankie has ever said and he has said a lot of offensive things. They've made themselves in their mind to fabricate this, this mirrors that just ain't working so they can justify their ass cheating. Justify their ass cheating. He is so angry. Are they ass cheating?
Starting point is 00:44:00 They're ass cheating. If it's in the ass then, you know, doesn't count. Listen, I agree. I can ass cheat all I want. That's an agreement between Astrid and I. I say, listen, it's just ass cheating. It's just a little ass play. Who's it hurting, really?
Starting point is 00:44:15 I went to a prostate massage class and I was the model. It's just a little ass play. It's like the Catholics. It's just a little ass play. Exactly. It's not cheating in God's eyes. Yeah. Attention to that. Also tip number two, the intimacy has faded.
Starting point is 00:44:33 Hello. Now there. Two with rock star fingers, two. Who is he, Brett Michaels? I think Brett Michaels is the only other human being that goes two, two. The first finger in the pink. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:47 One in the pink, two in the stink. You know how it goes. Just a little ass play. It could be for a lot of reasons. You know, women are very moody, so what a telltale. Oh my God. Check that box. They're a strange breed.
Starting point is 00:45:04 They're very moody. You are a strange breed, you women. You know, if your sexual life has just been fading on a regular basis, why is that all of a sudden? The 15 kids I have sleeping in my bed with me. Yes. It's very easy, gentlemen. Open your eyes. She's getting laid from someone else.
Starting point is 00:45:26 So she's constantly rejecting you. Open your eyes. Well, my eyes are wide open, but I don't think that my wife is cheating on me just because I didn't get any nookie last night. I mean, that's an irrational conclusion to make. When you're in a relationship, a long-term relationship, at least in my experience, like more than years, things can ebb and flow to some degree. Sometimes you're hot to trot and everybody's on top of it, and then there's other times where you might go a week or two, I don't know, however long, without getting intimate, not because your wife is cheating on you or your loved
Starting point is 00:45:59 one is cheating on you, but because they're tired. It's been a long day at work. We have other responsibilities. We have other responsibilities. We have to travel. Someone passed away. I mean, there's a million reasons why you just might not be in the mood, not just for a night, but for a period of time. There's nothing abnormal about that.
Starting point is 00:46:15 Nothing at all. Frankie is just taking way too much Viagra, and he is, Viagra, and he is so hept up. I think he's taking testosterone shots or something. Oh, yeah. Allegedly. We don't know that for sure, but allegedly. It seems like, well, and if he's got low T, then he should be taking testosterone shots. So tip number three. Oh my God, Frankie. He's kicked back. They're constantly asking you to go take
Starting point is 00:46:43 that trip. Why don't you go get away? Why don't you go visit family? How about the golf trip with the buddies? You need to go. You know what Astrid just said to me the other day? I'm not even kidding. She's like, you need to go on a trip with your brothers, just your brothers. Go four or five days, figure it out. You guys go, I'll take care of the kids. Now I know what's really going on. That's right. Ass cheating. That's what's happening. Ass cheating. That's what's happening. Ass cheating. I knew it.
Starting point is 00:47:07 She's ass cheating. You need to confront her ASAP. I'm going to. I'm gonna be like, ass dread. Let me know how that goes. Are you ass cheating? I'll let you know how that goes. I think you already know how it's gonna go.
Starting point is 00:47:17 I do. You are such an idiot. I'm going to divorce you based on your IQ. Ha ha ha. Channel Mother's the reason why she wants you gone, so she can spend more time with the person she's cheating with, so she's constantly push, push, pushing for you to take a trip. What if I came in the door from the boys' trip and my bags were packed to go to Europe? I bought your tickets to Spain, you're spending a month. Enjoy yourself. Go to the nude beaches. Meet ladies. Have fun. I get back from Spain and she's like, your flight to Disney is in two hours. I'm
Starting point is 00:47:56 gone for like a year. This is amazing, babe. Thanks so much. I really had a chance to have some space to myself. I come home and Frankie's in bed with us. That's right. There's a reason why. Tip number four. Did you ever notice that the routine might be changing? Especially if you've been in a long-term marriage. Let's face it. You have a routine and your wife has a routine. Hey, why isn't she shitting first thing in the morning like usual? What the fuck is going on here? Where are the morning dumps?
Starting point is 00:48:28 Where are they? I know he assumes too that like it's just two people that have nothing else going on. Yeah, I've noticed you get your nails done around the 15th of the month. It's the 17th and I haven't heard a word. That in your morning dumps and the diet coke instead of the regular coke, it makes me that airplane, remember in the movie Airplane?
Starting point is 00:48:52 Yes. Where she's like, that's funny. He never has a second cup of coffee at home. If all of a sudden that routine starts changing, well, there's a reason why. Because she's making time for the person that she's cheating with. I'd hate to live in his head. Well, there's a reason why. Because she's making time for the person that she's cheating with. I'd hate to live in his head. God, I know. Jesus Jones. This is what's happened. Frankie got cheated on. They got a divorce. It was probably ugly and nasty, as a lot of divorces can be. And certainly while you're going through
Starting point is 00:49:17 the divorce, they're almost never pleasant. I can share that with you right now. But he's bitten. Like, he's bitten. Oh, yeah. I know. He's. But he's bitten. Like he's bitten, he's angry. He's bitter. Yes. And so he is now looking back and saying everything that she ever did was a sign that she was cheating. I should have known. Yeah. She was making time to cheat. She wasn't shitting in the morning. I don't know where she was pooping, quite frankly. At the other guy's house.
Starting point is 00:49:43 There's the same amount of toilet paper tonight as there was this morning. I bet she's shitting at that other guy's house. A little ass cheating. More ass cheating. She's dump cheating, I know it. She's using somebody else's toilet. So you need to pay special attention.
Starting point is 00:50:01 Don't blow it off, okay? Pay attention. Follow her. Yeah attention follow her put one of those tracking devices on the car I say two tracking devices show it into her panties and then you'll really know where she is follow her obnoxiously hire multiple actually get your friends to get in on this too I want you all triangulating for months on end and see where she goes. Who needs to...
Starting point is 00:50:26 Well, with the 10 guys, you know, that half of them are cheating, those five need to just go... That's right. The other five need to help out the brothers. I agree with you on this. Let's get the cheating pact of 2024. If you're not one of the 55% of men who are being cheated on, you need to help the brothers that are being cheated on. How? I don't know. Follow them around. Look for changes in bathroom behaviors first. Go through the garbage. What if Astrid woke up in the morning and Raphael was standing in the bathroom writing notes? Hey, Astrid, don't worry about me. The fuck are you doing? Taking notes on your shit times. Those brothers are going to help each other out.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Her routine varies. She's going out more. She's dressing different. She looks different. Okay. Well, that might be an obvious sign that something is going on. If all of a sudden you have, if you have a relationship where your partner is, you know, you guys do things together,
Starting point is 00:51:25 you go to the club together, you go to the bar together, whatever you normally do. And then all of the sudden, your partner is looking for extra time away from you in circumstances where you know there could be temptations, that might be something to pay attention to. If all of a sudden Astrid wants to go clubbing six nights a week, I'm probably like, well.
Starting point is 00:51:45 And wear like crazy dresses. Yes, stiletto heels. She's dressing like that Bianca Sensori. Well then there you go. Then you got an issue on your hands. She's going to Cheesecake Factory with see-through leggings on. She's coming home a little later. She got stuck at the office where she never got stuck before.
Starting point is 00:52:04 Guys, these are telltale signs. It could happen. Look at me. Uh, yes? Is this Berkshire and Berkshire? It is. Does Tina Bernardo work here? She does.
Starting point is 00:52:18 Okay, just checking. Is she here now? Can I come in and look? Can I sit in your bathroom for a few minutes? I want to see if she shits at 650 like usual. This is the one too where we pictured him busting through the cubicles. Oh yeah, he busted through the office like the high C guy. The Kool-Aid. Look at my body! Hey honey, I thought you were cheating.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Do you want a tie? Dinner tonight. Mexican? I can pick some up. Okay. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some.
Starting point is 00:52:36 I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some.
Starting point is 00:52:44 I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. I'm going to go get some. Hi honey, I thought you were cheating. Do you want some? Dinner tonight. Mexican? I can pick some up. Okay, sorry about all the damage. She'll pay for it. Thanks. Bye.
Starting point is 00:52:55 Do you mind if I put this Ring Doorbell camera here? Is that okay? I'm just going to make sure everything... What? No? You're going to call security? What? Okay, listen. I'm going to go on my own volition, but someone text me when Tina leaves, will ya? Thanks, appreciate it.
Starting point is 00:53:08 This guy's gotta stick together. Once in a while, I get that, but just pay attention to the pattern. You're gonna bust their ass out. Bust their ass out? You're gonna get ass cheating indicators all over the place. That's right. That's right, Chrissy. Ass indicators, that's what I call it. Who says that? Frankie does. Tip number five. Let's talk about a few things. You know, tip number five should just be one thing, but okay, we'll talk about a
Starting point is 00:53:39 few things. Why not? Guys, when they get into their 50s, upper 50s, they get very complacent They're not really paying attention to what's going on the obvious signs because you're you're so caught up in your your own life Your routine you always take your wife spouse for granted and it's probably not a good thing to do You know know, if- Is there a mouse in the background? I know, there's something squeaky. Wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw But if you're not, you need to open up your eyes. You need to start paying attention to what they're doing. All right? Especially if they know you're very complacent, very lethargic, very non-caring. They're going to walk all over your ass.
Starting point is 00:54:38 You're... He just loves saying it. He does. I swear to God, if I see you sitting downstairs playing that PlayStation one more time, I'm gonna have stiletto heels all over your ass! Hey, hey, chill out, babe. I'm not the one who changed her shitting time from 6.55 to 7.20. I know what's going on around here.
Starting point is 00:55:02 PlayStation is my friend! You're like, you're like shooting fish in a barrel, okay? You're easy. You like shooting jizz in a wall. Take it easy. Shooting fish in a barrel. All right? Start calling them out. Start asking what they're doing. If you're suspecting things, okay guys, just open your freaking eyes. You've said that 70 times. I mean, he's so bitter and jaded. He's so angry and bitter and upset about this whole thing.
Starting point is 00:55:34 It's an open wound. And listen, when you get cheated on, and I'm sure it's happened to most of us, by Frankie's statistics, it's happened to most of us. It is not a fantastic feeling. It actually is extraordinarily hurtful. It is, yes. Because even if you don't like the person anymore, right? Listen, this happened to me, and I didn't even like the person I was with.
Starting point is 00:55:56 And when I found out she was cheating, it really hurt my feelings because it was just yet another indicator of how shitty our relationship really was and how shitty the whole situation was, but how shitty I was as a human being, too, that she had to go look elsewhere. But, you know, now that I'm older, I can't blame anybody. It's just like, well, okay. I'm a little more forgiving in my old age. I'm like, well, once I can forgive you, twice we'll work it out, three times, well, I guess we gotta go to therapy now. Four times, we're staying together for the kids.
Starting point is 00:56:29 Five times, I'm too old to perform anyway. Six times, what do you think about a brother husband? All right, guys, we're at the climax and that is tip number five. We're at the climax. He just gave tip number five and now he's giving tip number five again. The climax. The climax. And this is going to be the last tip in this video.
Starting point is 00:56:53 But it's the most obvious tip. All right. Let's talk about your wife's cell phone. Have you noticed anything? Oh, this is my favorite tip that he has ever given in any video. This cell phone. If your wife has a cell phone, she's cheating on you. Different in the way that she's being guarded
Starting point is 00:57:09 towards that phone, or before her phone was laying out on the counter, when you go out to a restaurant or a bar, that phone is laying on the bar top or the table. I could just see. Frankie, just imagine, I want you to imagine, a big house with a big winding staircase in the foyer, right? And a balcony up top. And Tina, let's call her Tina, his ex-wife has left her phone on a table in the foyer, right? And Frankie walks in and he goes
Starting point is 00:57:38 straight to the table on the foyer. I just see like some woman just jumping off the balcony, smashing her body. No! I just see like some woman just jumping off the balcony smashing her body Geez I just want to put my phone down. Oh, okay Not hiding anything Didn't care all the sudden It's so pissed! All the sudden! Out of nowhere! No explanation!
Starting point is 00:58:10 All the sudden! The phone is hidden! It's in her purse! And it's on silent! There's no ringing going on! It's in her purse! And it's on silent! And it's on silent! And it's on silent! Oh, the sun. The phone is hidden. It's in her purse.
Starting point is 00:58:26 And it's on silent. There's no ringing going on. Why? Hey, where's that ringing that I usually hear coming from your phone, bitch? I know you're cheating on me. We're in the movie theater. Oh, okay. All right. I'll settle down. Sorry, everybody. Sorry. Go ahead. I'm sorry. I ruined
Starting point is 00:58:50 it. I apologize. Sorry, kids. Is that all of a sudden? Does it make sense? I only have to tell you another word because you already get it, but we're still going to talk about it. I don't even have to say another word, but I'm still going to make more words. We're still going to talk about it. I don't even have to say another word, but I'm still gonna make more words. You're still gonna talk about it. I don't have to say another thing except for these additional things. All of a sudden. She's doing that because she's expecting a text from her significant other. If she's got a code, if she's got a code on she's got a cold on their phone a lockout cold If she gets an iPhone word pass codes are automatically installed you're fucked Out of nowhere she's cheating on you
Starting point is 00:59:39 Every phone has a code who doesn't have a code on their phone Now if she's changing her code frequently, well, she either has kids or she's cheating. You're right. I had it before. Come on, guys. Open your eyes. Call her out. I mean, he's so close to the camera.
Starting point is 00:59:59 I know. He's so angry. It's like he's talking to the woman who cheated on him. Yes. Ask her why all of a sudden the woman who cheated on him. Yes. Ask your wife, all of a sudden there's a lockout code. Well, in case I... It's not called a lockout code. It's called a pass code. The lady isn't... It's not an apartment building.
Starting point is 01:00:15 It's not an emergency, you know, room in your basement. Who said? I want to make sure no one gets my information. No problem. Give me the lockout code. I want the lockout code. It's not called a lockout code. It's nothing called a lockout code. There's no such thing as a lockout code.
Starting point is 01:00:36 It's only a lockout code if you're the one that got locked out. She'll give it to you and she'll change it again. So she's super heavily guarded with that phone and she's never on it when she's anywhere around. Hey, who are these two people? Who are these two guys you brought home? Oh, this is Jim and this is Doug. They're from National Security Services and they're just here helping me with my lockout code. They'll be following my phone around if you don't mind, Frankie. following my phone around if you don't mind, Frankie. On you? Think about that.
Starting point is 01:01:04 The number one giveaway is a woman with that cell phone. So guys, that is- A woman with a cell phone. Number one. What's that? It's the number one dead giveaway. A woman and a phone. Case closed, problem solved.
Starting point is 01:01:23 I got you. File for divorce because she's getting it. She's getting pipelayed somewhere else. You know what I'm saying, guys? Number one. Number one. Man, that's all I got for today. Actually, I do got more. Oh, I do got it. But that's for another video. I do got more. I do got more.
Starting point is 01:01:43 All of a sudden, I got more I've got more oh I got more I'm Frankie B we covered five secret tips that your wife might be cheating on you again you know guys when we get into our age we get a little bit complacent we we take our wives for granted we're not always looking at things I think it's just time to open your eyes. A little homework assignment for you guys. Oh, I don't want any homework from you, Frankie. I barely like watching these videos in the first place. Go through the cell phone bill.
Starting point is 01:02:16 Call every number. Call Verizon. Be sure she's at work. Call your congressman. Outlaw women having cell phones. We'll put this cheating doing in right away When she comes home tonight tomorrow, whatever you see her take her cell phone tomorrow Whatever you see her got a relationship. Are you in Frankie? When you see her tonight, next month, 25th wedding anniversary, you let her know!
Starting point is 01:02:52 I watch your cell phone and your lockout code! Start thinking about the things I talked about. Yeah, that's all I need is to be paranoid my entire relationship. Thanks anyway. Yeah, my entire relationship. Thanks. Anyway, just look just observe And if one of the five fall into place, it's like, okay if two of the five fall into place, it's like mmm Right, and if three are there I think you better get an STD test Those kids aren't yours
Starting point is 01:03:22 They're getting an STD test. Those kids aren't yours. You got her. Guys, that concludes. You got her ass. You got her ass. She's been ass cheating the whole time. All right. All right.
Starting point is 01:03:34 500 episodes in the can. Yay. Congratulations, young lady. Right, congratulations to you. You did it. 500 more. Don't worry. We'll do it. Why would we stop now? Don't threaten us with a good time. We're gonna be right there. Don't threaten us with a good time. Thank you so much. And in case you're wondering,
Starting point is 01:04:01 Hambone and Hoadley, we just had to make an appearance. Chrissy and I, Chrissy's idea, we've been talking about it for a year and finally we had a good reason to do it. Modeled after those, you know, Zoo Crew morning shows. Exactly like the commercial break. We're born in the fire of early 80s drive time radio. All right. Also you've been such a big part of the show. We want you to be a bigger part of the show.
Starting point is 01:04:31 I'm asking, I'm begging, I'm pleading. I want you, I need you to come on the show and talk to us live here while we're recording. We can hide your name. We can disguise your voice if you're embarrassed. If you, if your family, like our families are are gonna be embarrassed of you being on the commercial break, we'll disguise your voice. And I'm being serious about this. We really wanna have you on the show.
Starting point is 01:04:51 We've already got a couple of people who have texted in. I love it. So, but we need more, because maybe I don't like those people, and maybe they're ass-cheating, and I need to do something else. Two, one, two, four, three, three, three, T-3TCB that's 212-433-3822 for those of you that aren't good with the letters. You can go ahead and you can text us, ask us a question, ask us a question, need our
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Starting point is 01:05:59 And I have to say, I have to say, Hey ladies out there, if your husband won't let you have a cell phone, you're in trouble. Then you use your husband won't let you have a cell phone. You're in trouble. Then use your husbands to call in. Until next time, we always say, we do say, and we must say. Goodbye. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Thanks for watching!

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