The Commercial Break - The Magical Land of PUAmore!

Episode Date: September 13, 2024

Episode #600: We simply can’t help ourselves, so we are back with more Zack! That’s PUAmore! Thousand Pound Sisters A camel bite that led to an arrest Oregon’s drug laws Pussy Wrangler PUAmore! Insomnio The feral FERA method Statement roulette Emotional support water Panama City: The Magical Land of PUAs Bryan’s get rich quick real estate course Arousal! The sexual experience Karl returns! Too hot not to approach CLOSE EM! Aw, Bryan thinks we are smart 🙂 Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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What do you love? and highly rated drivers. Add your team to your Uber account today. On this episode of the commercial break starts now. Yeah, boys. Oh yeah, cats and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Gray and this is Tammy to my Slayton, Kristen Joy, best to you, Kristen. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast universe. Speaking of Tammy Slayton, her sister, Amy Slayton. Okay, we've talked about this before, the Thousand Pound Sisters, which is a television show on TLC that is now on season six, seven, eight, nine,

I don't fucking know, anyway. They're two really obese sisters and the very first shot of the very first show they they're like sitting on with a table of all kinds of junk foods and they have these big two liter diet cokes in front of them and they're drinking them straight out of the leader and they're explaining that when they were children their mom told them that diet coke had negative calories. So if they just drank enough diet coke, they could take away all the calories

that they were getting from the junk food. I mean, it was like the, it was a perfect setup for the rest of the show. Now the show has taken lots of twists and turns. It's dramatic at times, and one of them almost died from COVID, and they've both had some kind of weight loss or weight reduction.

Here's why I'm talking about this. Not because I want you to watch the show. The show has become terrible. But what I would like to say is that over the weekend, at least as we're recording this, over maybe two weekends ago, one of the sisters was at a petting zoo in Tennessee. Like one of those ones where you drive through,

the drive through safari, the kind that I've been, the kind where I told you that a giraffe literally took my serious radio out of my car with his tongue. She got bit by a camel. She was like, had a camel went into the car, bit her, this is what she says now. The zoo denies this. The zoo says there's no proof that the camel bit anybody, but okay. So the camel bites her, okay? Pretty nasty wound on her hand that I saw pictures of. Those camel bites can hurt. Listen, anytime camel bites and camel lights, both of those things will get you eventually. And anytime you have a wild animal like that that bites you, you got to worry about a lot of different stuff. But the bite did look nasty. I knew camel had teeth, but I didn't know that they were like, I guess any animal that you get

bitten by could be dangerous. So while waiting for the police to show up, she calls the police and the paramedics, I've been bitten by a camel, I've been bitten by a camel. While waiting for the police to show up, this girl Amy decides to go into the car with her two children and her new boyfriend, she's newly divorced, and her new redneck ass boyfriend. And what do they decide to do? They decide to eat mushrooms and smoke weed waiting for the police to show up when the police get there.

They smell the weed, they uncover the mushrooms, and they then take her to the hospital and then jail because she's endangering the children and she's got like, you know, schedule one and schedule four drugs on her. I mean, how dumb do you have to be to call the police basically on yourself? Now, granted, maybe they were already fucked up long before the police got there, and this was just a continuation of the party. Maybe there was no camel.

That was the thought too, is maybe there was no camel biting you. Maybe you rolled the window up on your own hand or something, you know what I'm saying? But you have to be a real fucking thick person to call the police and then smoke weed waiting for them to show up in a state where it is clearly not legal to be smoking weed. That's crazy. Speaking, go ahead, you wonder. No, I was just saying what? Yeah.

What? What? I thought we were friends. I thought we were all friends. You come here and arrest me over camel bite, so stupid. But this piggy fronts off something else that I wanted to share with you, which is Oregon has again criminalized the use of hard drugs. You know, they decriminalized it for this 18 month period of time, two year period of time, something

like that, this trial. And it was such a clusterfuck that they decided to recriminalize using hard drugs. I still think marijuana is legal there in all ways, shape and form. But the fact that I said this when we were talking about the legalization of all drugs, which I am pro, I am pro the legalization of all drugs and government oversight over the quality and quantity of how much of that you can get at one particular time. Tax revenue, ability to keep an eye on, you know, you can have a database of some dude's gotten six grams of cocaine today, okay, that's your limit, right? The next pharmacist that can't buy it, sell him any or whatever. I don't know. I don't know how it all works, but

putting people in jail for essentially wanting to feel good is not the right answer, number one. And number two, if you're addicted, the right answer is also not jail because there's drugs in jail too. You're just perpetuating and then they can't ever get a job again. And it's just a terrible, horrible cycle, vicious cycle that we know doesn't work. Plus the war on drugs is dumb. But Oregon couldn't control themselves, apparently. Yeah. Apparently Oregon couldn't control themselves. They fucked it up for the rest of the country.

I read a little bit about this, but what exactly went wrong? Well, the fentanyl happened. That's what happened. The fentanyl happened. The fentanyl was just taking hold in 2019. I think the law went into effect in 2020, 21 during the pandemic. You could only imagine and it exacerbated and Portland became a total disaster. Like people falling out all over the streets. It's happening everywhere. It's not just Portland. It's happening everywhere and big cities have big city problems. It doesn't matter if the drugs are legal or illegal.

You can get them anywhere at any time because as long as people want them, people are going to be the supplying them, supply and demand. You can't stop that, you never will. So the war on drugs is not only dumb, it's a waste of time and money. But it's a big machine now and it's never gonna stop. But I'm just sharing that like, you know, come on, Oregon, the rest of us, be like Amsterdam,

keep it cool for a little while, you know what I'm saying? Amsterdam figured it out. They did. Yeah, and what was the other country that I'm saying? Amsterdam figured it out. They did. Yeah. And what was the other country that I was reading? Was it Sweden or somewhere like that? They also decriminalized all hard drugs and now they are recriminalizing it because no one can keep their shirts on. I mean, I get it. You're going to have a little, there's going to be a little, you know, you're going to get the giggles and people are going to have to shake it out. It's crazy hour or a loco. People are going to have to shake it out for a little while, but they'll figure it out.

And so now the law is, is that the cop has a choice, give them a hundred dollar citation, right? And that can or cannot end up in some kind of incarceration, at least for the night, or they can call this hotline and a drug abuse counselor or someone associated with it can show up on the scene within 30 minutes and determine whether or not they qualify for further counseling, maybe even inpatient rehab, which just sounds like going around your ass to get to your elbow. Like, okay, you know, hand out a card or something. Waiting for somebody else to show up to decide if a drug addict wants to go to treatment?

Probably not, that's just my guess, probably not. But anyway, you know. Interesting. The journey continues with that war on drugs, that silly, silly war on drugs, and then Nancy Reagan, her and her, you know, twisted sister is the devil. Twisted sister,isted fucking Sister. Have

you seen that guy? Anybody seen that guy? De Snider? De Snider? De Snider was not a threat to children. Metallica. Metallica was. That's who it was. Oh yeah, he played the record backwards. That's right. Anyway, okay, off my high horse, here we go. So, this is a first in commercial break history. Chrissy and I, for a third episode in a row, are going to tackle a video that we just cannot get away from. Because every time-

I can't get enough of it. Yeah, I know. Every time that Chrissy and I, three days in a row now, three episodes in a row now, every time Chrissy and I try and walk away from this 21 convention and this Zach Bauer guy who's giving this speech at the 21 convention, a Ploi convention, a pickup artist convention, dating coach, pussy handler, wrangler, I'm not

even sure what they call them. Every time that we turn off the cameras, then we find out more about what's going on and it gives more context to what's happening. So now get this, Chrissy found this. Chrissy found that he is part of a website called Ploie More. Ploie More. Which is a website where I guess you can learn more about your favorite Ploie. It's kind of like a fan site for Ploies. He's featured on there. And he's featured on there along with about a hundred other P poirs, including Adam Lyons and his wife or girlfriend or whatever it is, and a lot of the other people that we've broken down over the years.

And he is known as a controversial figure inside of the poir community, but a hot, hot commodity. People want to talk to this guy because he's got a different methodology for doing things than a lot of the others do. A lot of the others have this algebraic formula for how you can open a set, quote unquote. Get into a girl's panties, get them wet,

drop those panties right down to the floor so you can get in quickly. Bed them. Bed them, knock them out, move on to the next bar, pussy falling from the sky, all that stuff. You know, we've heard it. We've all heard it, bouncing on your dick basically. But Zach here has a totally different way of doing things.

He wants to tell you that the opening doesn't really fucking matter. Tap him on the shoulder, stare at him like a Cheshire cat for four to seven hours, and then if they're still with you, then you've had an intimate moment together, and then you don't ask him questions, you tell him statements, like you have an accent. And even if they don't have an accent,

he says it doesn't matter, because he's just looking for a response. So, and then you move them to the betting card. Well, no, well, there was the technique, the new technique. The pharaoh. Well, pharaoh. There was the new technique too. It's called conversation.

Conversation. Conversation, baiting, I think was the exact word. But it's basically talking. Basically conversation, yeah. It's just talking. It's my brand new technique, talking. Ha ha ha. Hack hack.

So Chrissy and I are so enamored with this particular speech. Because we only had to E, F, E, focus, emotion, was the next one, so we gotta get to the R. Yeah, the R was, I don't know, rejection, I think. Probably is gonna be the next one, so we gotta get to the R. Yeah, the R was, I don't know, rejection, I think. Probably is gonna be the next one. But we are so enamored with this guy and his techniques and his brand new way of thinking

about the Ploy community. He's been studying Jedi master type style for five years? Or longer, Chrissy. I don't know, it's hard to tell. He and his buddy Rob, they have studied hundreds of hours of their own footage. That's right. Out in the wild. That honestly is like asking the Dalai Lama, how long have you been studying spirituality?

Forever. I mean, it's just part of him. It's ingrained in his bones. So him and his buddy Rob, they've been spending late nights on their e-readers, bouncing on each other's dicks. Watching video of their own. Videos in field footage. In field footage of themselves. Listen, if you haven't heard the last two episodes, you might want to just take some time to listen to it because it's a good

buildup here that we got going on. And so I present to you for the first time in commercial break history, a third straight episode. Well, not straight because we also heard from our good friend, Nicky Jam. Yes. Who came in. Oh my God. Unbelievable. So let me talk a little bit about this before I go to the break. Yeah. Nicky Jam, that episode was recorded a while ago, but they requested that we put it in the can until his new album came out. And then it in the can until his new album came out

and then we would release it after his new album came out, which is available now. Insomnio is, I was about to say incognito, Insomnio, which is available now on all the major streaming platforms. Nicky was kind enough to come and spend an hour with us. We really enjoyed our time with him and he drops a big news on that episode about whether or not he's retiring, about why he decided to retire, if he is going to retire, why he decided to retire, his struggles with drug and alcohol. I had so many questions from this guy.

Lauren Ruffin That was a great conversation. Jared Sarkissian It really was. And it moved so fast. I wish I had a lot more time with him, but maybe next time we'll have some more time with him. But Nicky's an international Latin superstar, reggaeton superstar. So do us a favor, go listen to the episode, which was on Tuesday, and then go check out his album, stream it on Spotify. Of course, he doesn't need help from us. The guy's got like 110 million followers on just one platform. So he doesn't need any help from us, but we certainly did appreciate him.

And now I have marriage reward points forever and ever. Yes, when we show up at Daniel Beach and there's a bunch of Venezuelans in that audience, I'm gonna be much cooler than I was last time they saw me. I'm just gonna share that with you. All right, so back to Zach Bauer, let's do this. Let's take a break. And when we get back, I promise we're gonna get into all the good juicy stuff with Zach. Take a break and we'll be

right back. Oh my God, Christina, you're an icon and a legend. That's my impression of you when I tell you that you can officially get tickets to come see us in Florida. We'll be at Daniel Beach Improv on September 24th and the Funny Bone Orlando on September 25th. And both of those links are already in the show notes. So come see us and giggle your way into our little hearts. If you can't make it to Florida to win our love, don't worry, we're easy. All it takes is to follow us on Instagram at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB Podcast. Or you can text us at 212-433-3TCV.

And check out our website, tcbpodcast.com, for all of our audio video content and any sneaky links we might share. to power your scale with no preset spending limit. Redefine possible with Business Platinum. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms and conditions apply. Visit amex.ca slash business platinum. What's better than watching your team win? Winning money while you do it.

I'm Jim Costa and I cash the ticket. Mike Valetti and I give you the edge to make every game playable. College football, NFL, we're breaking it all down game by game. Your podcast feed is gonna be filled and you're gonna love it. You can click on the games you care about we're breaking it all down game by game. Your podcast feed is going to be filled and you're going to love it. You can click on the games you care about. We do it all. With our analysis, we're finding games that other people aren't talking about.

We're turning every Saturday and every Sunday into days where you got a chance to win. Don't just sit on the sidelines. Cash the ticket with us. Follow Cash the Ticket in the free Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating tremors, Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator,

58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of high intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions, and that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at sunnybrook.ca slash special. Two little interesting concert notes here, I'll share with you.

That at least as we're recording this, I'm getting news that Green Day last night ran off stage in the middle of one of their shows, everyone looking scared, like an emergency exit, no follow-up information on why that was, but maybe some kind of scare. And Howard Stern, the notorious, notoriously, he's almost like a hermit, like he never leaves his house. Some of my friends were at the MSG Pearl Jam show last night, the Madison Square Garden, and spotted Howard. He was sitting just a couple rows by them.

I got some pictures of him there with security staring them, staring my friends down, of course. I don't think Howard likes to be out of the house at all. So how Eddie Vedder got him to show up, I'm not really sure. But anyway, okay. So back to Zach Bauer. Let's do this. Let's get into it. We're like halfway through this video right now. I don't think we'll make it all the way through the video and I'm going to refuse to do a fourth episode. So let's make this one good. Here's Zach on number two or

three of the feral or Farah system he has for bedding women. Between you. I actually have like, actually I think Matt, you were there when I was filming an in-field video and you know, I was happy. I was there bro, I was there. And feel. Yeah, I bet Matt feels so special for being called out. He's like, he just puffs up his chest.

Matt, you were there. He's peacocking. Yeah, I was there, I was there the night and they got that special in-field video with that lady did something very cool. It's like that time Maz Gibroni called me out on stage. And I shrunk like a violet. My friend Alison stood up and was like, he's right here.

And I was like, oh. And then people were like, how do you know Maz? And I'm like, I don't. We had dinner. He must have written my name down on his hand. Yeah, he came on the show. He did. He was super nice.

Maz is the best. I love Maz. I think this interaction with this girl, we were trying to put down a whole interaction from start to finish in one night. And I knew that there wasn't enough emotions at one point. I felt that this was kind of becoming a little bit boring, a little bit stale. Like you were filming it for academic purposes.

Yes. I mean, God. Paleontologists years from now will be studying my in-field video footage going, ah, ah, what happened? The human race was awful. Started a fight with the girl. Just started a fight with her.

I don't even remember what I said, but I just started picking at this fight. I just started picking at it and picking at it until she blew up at me. Perfect. Time to use some damage control. Perfect. Makeup sex is the best.

Hey, you want to have some makeup sex? That's perfect. Your first interaction, get into your first fight. Yeah. Astrid and I are a decade into our relationship. We've yet to have a knockdown drag out. Yeah. Back on track, we have these emotions going again. Now, what did I do?

I took her by the hand and you followed us back to my place, right? Right? Am I right? You cuck-holed it? Am I right? You were in the closet? Am I right? That girl didn't even know? You followed us back to my place. You followed us back to my place.

Look at his look on his face. He's like, yeah. High five. Matt saw it. Knuckles bro, nooks. Matt saw it, Matt saw it all. That showed him my penis. Right before I stuck it in there. I walked by the closet with my art on. I said, get this in field footage. Get this inner field footage. Close up, close up.

I mean, true story. But the fact is, is that none of this works if you're out there trying to get her attracted. None of this stuff works if you're out there worrying about, you know, is this girl not going to like what I'm saying to her? Is this girl going to be offended because I'm saying, oh, like you have an accent, don't you?

When she clearly is from the same town as you. So... Yeah, nothing like this... Nothing like being a crazy person. Knocking around the bar, starting fights, girls tapping him, looking the other way. So you're African American, right? No?

I'm German. Nope, nope, you're African American, pretty sure. I know black people shouldn't when I see you. What a dumb thing. You're just trying to aggravate somebody for no reason? That's just one example of a way to start getting a girl emotionally invested. The other technique that I'm going to give you is called statement roulette. And what this is is...

Is that trademark? Refer to my roulette table. This is basically, I want you guys to each come up with like three or four short statements that aren't too serious. They're fun. Right. So things like show me your dance moves. Show me your dance. Show me your dance moves.

I would like to see your clitoris, please. Show me your dance moves. Tap, tap, stare. Tap, tap, stare. Show me your dance moves. Fight? Yeah. Show me your dance moves. Tap, tap, stare. Tap, tap, stare. Show me your dance moves. Fight. Yeah.

Say ridiculous things that clearly aren't true, then fight, then show me your dance moves. Show me your dance moves. Something like. Look at him, he's so proud of himself. He's like, how about that one? Just drop some knowledge on you guys. You don't even know what to think, do you?

I'm playing 4D chess while the rest of you were playing checkers Well Nick what was yours like those are some badass heels those heels are badass Wow Game changer It explodes Three statements three to four statements like that that you can just throw out there right and Mind blown. It explodes. The badass heel. Three statements, three to four statements like that, that you can just throw out there, right? You don't need to be looking for a reaction.

That's the thing. So much of this pickup material. Don't even pay attention to what says. Don't even worry about it. You're not looking for a reaction. Just keep throwing. Just keep plowing through your roulette statements. Badass heel. Dance moves, badass heel.

Dance moves, badass heel. Looking for a reaction from the girl. When you do this, when you throw out statements, the only purpose to throw these statements out are to give her something to latch onto, okay? She might not give a shit if you want to see her dance moves, but she might love that you brought up her shoes, right? She might have just gotten those shoes.

Right, right? You see where I'm going here, guys? No, I'm sorry I don't. That work, no? Yeah, that work, no, no, no. Right? She might have just gotten those shoes and she can't believe that you mentioned them

and she can't wait to talk to you about them. The point is, is that if you have, Ack, ack, did you get those on sale? Why yes! I got them at Kohl's. Three or four statements, right, that are fun and related to you guys having a good time together, you just keep throwing them out. Nothing says fun like staring a girl in the eyes for 30 seconds and then fighting with her,

and then coming up with your three boilerplate comments. Yeah. What did he call them? A roulette statement. Roulette statements. Oh, when you make it sound so good, it's irresistible. I have to spend $49.99 on the ebook. And eventually something's going to hit. This is the difference, and I know that... Yeah, something's going to hit. She's going to hit. This is the difference and I know that... Yeah, something's going to hit. She's going to hit you.

It's so terrible. This is all so bad. You might be thinking like, okay, so like, I'm just supposed to go out there and just start saying things to girls. I'm just supposed to go out there and start talking to girls? You want me to just like use my words?

I can't believe you're, I mean, that is a concept. Yeah, I know. Well, to be fair, most guys, I don't think are really good at that talking part. Yeah. I mean, that's exactly it. The fact of the matter is- I mean, yeah, I actually want you to go out there and talk to girls. Thanks, Dr. Phil.

Is that when we went out and we started just speaking in statements with looking for no reaction from a girl, this is when girls start saying to you, like, what? Why are you being weird? What I hear? That is correct. What, why are you acting like a serial assaulter? Like a robot. What, how are you off probation?

After that, I hear game on. You know, why are you being weird any when girls say I'm calling the cops I say Anything that this girl is asking you to try to piece you together to try to figure out Why is this guy here saying these things? What are you that like the tin man? try to piece you together to try to figure out why is this guy here saying these things when are you That's like the tin man piece you together when you stare at a girl for 30 seconds without any Context whatsoever there. She's already pieced you together bro. You're not the guy She's gonna get dig down from tonight because you're a fucking weirdo

Like why is this guy not doing all the other shit that I've ever seen guys do before me? Or before this guy? Why isn't he trying to buy me drinks? Why isn't he trying to have a conversation with me? This is something right out of a political playbook. Do anything that no one has done before, just to shake it up a little bit, just to make sure. Like, who is that guy?

Remember? Scaramoochie. Yeah, who is that guy, remember? Ah! Scaramoochie. Yeah, Scaramoochie, Screamamoochie. Scaramoochie. He's a digesting character, by the way. That's Scaramoochie. Part of me hates him, and then part of me is like,

ah, I'd probably have a beer with him. The fact of the matter is, is whether it's a question about jeans, or a question about a pizza place, or whatever, this is all on the pretense that you're trying to establish a conversation, right? Those are both questions. And the reason that these statements are so effective is because when you go up to a girl, right?

I actually had a student- Right, right. He keeps on trying to convince himself. I know. The other day, he's like, so how would you feel about this if you went up to a girl that you met on the street and say, hey, so like, where are we going? Where are we going? I've lost my mommy.

Stranger danger. Stranger danger. If you go to a girl and ask her where you're going, it sounds like she's literally on one of those prank YouTube channels. Girls are, humans are way smarter than this at this point. I mean, unless you're going for like, unless you're doing this at the villages, I don't think you're going to get anybody on this one. I just don't. I just, I tend to think, I don't know, I tend to think of the female form as much more intelligent than this guy gives anyone credit for. This is like, this is the most insane advice

I've ever heard. Just go up and say random statements to women, maybe on the off occasion. You know what the thing is? Here's the thing. Yes, this could work. If the girl that you go up to is instantly attracted to you, like it's your soulmate. I was going to say, it depends on who is asking these questions and talking. Exactly. If you, like, if Astrid and I had some random encounter where I said something strange to her, I think it's likely that we would end up with each other no matter what. But this is like, you got to throw out a lot of baseballs before you get a hit on this one. And I'm afraid people are going to get hurt. Like, this just sounds weird. Jared Slauson I was like, no, that's absolutely garbage. Because

the fact of the matter is, is you're going up to her expecting that this girl is gonna see you and like I said before, just wanna jump on your dick. It's like, oh, here's a guy. Ah! Ah! Ah! Penis deployed, ready for pussy.

Ah! Come here, bounce around. Ah, ah, jump on my dick. Where are we going to jump on my dick? You know what? Actually, like, yeah, I do want to meet you. Here's my number. I'm free on Monday and I like roses.

You know, I mean, it doesn't happen. And the fact of the matter is, is that by using statements, right, you are controlling the interaction. You're not asking her for anything. You're not asking her, oh, take some responsibility and help me get some sort of interaction going here. What? I'm trying to process what he was saying. I feel like his brain has one of these going off.

The smoke alarm. The smoke alarm is going off in his head. Instead, you're taking full responsibility for the interaction. By the way, do you notice that you keep plowing? Yeah, you're just plowing forward. Knocking shit over. That's a good point. You're just bulldozing her emotionally and psychologically until she's forced to have some kind of weird interaction

with you and then you can, I don't know, reverse cowgirl her? I'm not really sure what's going on. By the way, I want to point out, because most of you are listening, I want to point out that this guy keeps on picking up a glass of water from the table and then putting it back down. And then picking it up and then putting it back down. It's his emotional support water. And I don't throw stones in a glass house, I also have an emotional support water. See this cup right here, this beautiful TCB coffee cup that my wife has made for us, that Astrid has made for us. You know what?

I carry this everywhere. I went to like 50 doctor's appointments yesterday and I carried it everywhere. I didn't take one sip. And my wife often points this out to me. Astrid's like, why are you taking your cup? And I go, because I might want to drink something. You never drink something.

And I'm like, but I might, but you never do it. And you know what? I never do. Now I'm realizing just how idiotic that actually looks. Thanks, Zach. You've showed me something. I am prepared. Zachary Lerner You two are having, because you have these statements that are fun to yourself, these statements that amuse yourself, and that show that you're there. Zachary Ler. Oh, good. You're just laughing at yourself. Yeah, at least half the people involved in the conversation are amused. To have a good time, right?

And because you're talking to this girl and she's already been focused on you, she's already looking you in the eye, she's already listening to what you're saying, she's going to be trying to piece together why the hell you're saying these things in the first place. She's going to be trying to figure out what's your name, where you're why the hell you're saying these things in the first place She's gonna be trying to figure out what's your name where you're from why you're didn't he promise us a short presentation way back in the beginning Dang this to her. Maybe you guys have met before maybe she's trying to place it doesn't matter But the point is you now have her on the defense you have her on the back foot She doesn't really understand what's going on. Confuse her.

Shocking all. Let's jump in front of her at the bar. Where are we going? Doesn't know how to deal with you because she can't fit you in a box of, okay, this is the kind of guy who's going to ask to buy me drinks and cling to me all night Or this is the kind of guy that's gonna be super aggressive. That's Brian's move It's clingy. Yeah, just hang out at the bar. I'll wear her down Let's see. It's 630 p.m. The bar closes at 230 a.m If I just keep drinking Bud lights eventually sugar don don't forget have to go home with me.

To even try to make out with me all night. Girls are very, very conscious of this stuff. You know, I think Nick was saying it like girls know in, you know, a very short span of time what kind of guy you are. Yeah, they do. Like most humans with intuition, you can pretty much, I think, you know, besides some people who are neurodivergent, you can pretty much pick up on what kind of personality type within the first few minutes of communication, or at least what kind of personality type they have right then. I mean, some people have multiple personalities, but the reality is, you know what I'm saying? Like, there are some people who change minute for minute. That's the shock and awe campaign when you meet someone who's like, I don't know, BPD

or something. Ah! The reality is, if what you're saying is true, then what makes you think that this version of approaching a woman is any different from any other version of approaching a woman? In other words, if you just come up and start acting strange, don't you think? Yeah, that's their first impression. Yes, that's their first impression. You're strange.

Get out of my face. Exactly. You're strange. I'm calling an Uber. This is not going to work, boys. Off of how you carry yourself, how you interact with them and what you say to them, right? If you walk up to a girl and you tap her on the shoulder, you give her contact and then just start spewing nonsense to her

that keeps yourself entertained and you talk in statements, eventually she's going to be trying to figure something out, whether it's her name. She's going to be trying to figure out where the exit is. Exactly, like how to get away. She's going to be looking for the fire escape plan. I think I would just walk away. Oh, yeah. I don't even think I would just walk away. Oh yeah.

I don't even think I would try to figure anything out. Yeah. You know what I've found, and I've had a few of these type of interactions, opposite sex, right? So I've had a few women, I can think of one specifically, where I had this type of interaction at a bar. I was at the W Hotel with you and a number of other people. And I went downstairs to the bar because the upstairs was crowded to go get a drink. And when I went for a drink, there was a girl sitting at the bar and she turned around

and literally started saying random shit to me. And then within a few minutes, we were in some kind of like alternate universe conversation. I took the bait. I actually took the bait. 15 days later, I had a restraining order. Yeah's right. I remember that. Yeah, that's no joke. I don't trust this kind of interaction anymore. I really don't. Why you're saying these things, you know, where you come from, it doesn't matter. But that is getting of emotional investment. So then what happens?

Not the right kind. Yeah, not the right kind of emotional investment. She's literally wondering if she should call her father. And boom Yeah. And boom, it's onto the third piece, which is rapport. Oh, here's where you get them, Chrissy. This is where you loop them in. This is where you get them bedded. Okay. I'm excited about this. We've been waiting now 47 minutes for the actual, how do you get them in bed, bud? Which is what he promised at the beginning of the conversation by the way He said I let's not talk about openers Oh who cares about openers and all he's been doing for 42 minutes is talking about openers

Let's get to the action for the end. So okay. So next thing is rapport now. What is rapport? I'm not talking about the rapport that you've read about in other pickup stuff. I am talking about- I'm not talking about that other rapport. I'm talking about Zach's rapport. Is it rapport, rapport? That's right. The kind where you're hard in 30 seconds and she's bouncing on your dick. Look out boys, here's the meat and potatoes. Very simple, get to know you rapport.

If you want to take notes now's the time. Type of rapport that you have with a new friend, the type of rapport that you might have with a boss or, you know... A police officer, a judge, your cellmate. Some girl that you want to... ...go to school with. very casual understanding, right? So what I mean by this is once you see this girl and she's asking you questions, you feel that the investment is beginning, it's time to switch and it's time for you to start asking

questions. That's all it means. So now it's your chance. Oh, where are you from? What's your name? What do you do? Where'd you go to school? All that boring sh-

Height, size. What's your social security number? Well, social security number. Where was your mom born? What's your maiden name? Fill out this application, triplicate, send it back to me. Have you downloaded my app?

How to get more bitches on your dick. Yeah, exactly. DateHotter.com. Yeah, what do you do? Oh, I put out a book. Oh, I am. It's called Date Hot Chicks. I'm an author.

She's like. Oh. What do you do? Currently, I am studying. Currently, I am studying. Up in the field. What is it called? What does he call it?

The, the flower? What is it, the method? Yeah call it? The FLA? What is it? The method? The PLA method or something? Currently I'm studying the PLA method as well as going back through mysteries 13 said, encyclopedia volume on how to get more pussy. That you've always been told not good or it's too logical or whatever it is for pickup. No, that is exactly what you want to be asking. Because the fact of the matter is, is you're not just coming up with this stuff out of nowhere.

You're now the- The fact of the matter is my hemp bracelet has magical powers. It smells like feet and it has magical powers. I bought this in Panama City, bro. The land of Ploys, the magical kingdom of Ploys! That's right. You're the guy who's tapped her on the shoulder, you're the guy who's held strong eye contact, you've shown that you're not trying to have any sort of weird conversation, you're just

having... You've shown that you have no game whatsoever! ...a good time with it. And now it's time to show her who you really are. It's like, oh, OK, yeah. Look at my body! OK, yeah, now let's get down to it. Edie, I have it.

What a perfect drop. Where are you from? Oh, cool. Nice. That's all it needs to be. Very, very topical, very, very casual. And then from there, as soon as you possibly can, as soon as she's comfortable. Wait, hold on. I'm trying to think this through.

So you go up. Let's go through these steps real quick. You go up, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap,

tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap Right. Then there was a fight somehow. Yes. Then when she says, what are you doing? Yeah. You break out your what? Your heels? Your roulette.

Your roulette statements. That's right. Yeah. Where you just start saying, I like your shoes. I like your shoes. Where's the nearest pizza place? And then, but don't look for response. I love plants. Right. Don't look for a response.

Just just statement fire. You're on Chrissy. You've got it. And then you go, ah. Just kidding about that. When do you go to school? What's your name? I'm just kidding about that.

I'm just kidding about that. If you actually make it to the point where you can even, she's still engaged. I mean, this is, it sounds crazy. I would just love. And I think that's the thing about her. I mean, she's still engaged. I mean, she's still engaged. I mean, she's still engaged.

I mean, she's still engaged. I mean, she's still engaged. I mean, she's still engaged. I mean, she's still engaged. I mean it to the point where you can even, she's still engaged. I mean, this is, it sounds crazy. I would just love, and I know that it's highly unlikely that anyone in our audience is actually taking this course, but I would love if A, someone has taken the course and B would be brave enough to have a conversation about it. I don't need to use your name or anything, but if you ever been to one of these Plois courses and, and listen, no shame. No. Everybody needs help sometimes and we all get lost in the weeds. I totally get it.

Absolutely. I am Dr. Fucking Google. I will be on Reddit trying to figure out how to, you know, shrink my prostate. Like I go down the rabbit hole too sometimes and, you know, love and attraction is one of those things that we like all want and desperately need. And so there's no shame. I don't think this is the right way to do it. Obviously we've broken down a lot of vlog videos. I think these guys are charlatans who are taking your money for no reason. They don't know shit from Shinoah. I guarantee this guy does not walk into bars and bed women on a consistent basis. Guaranteed. Actually, we've heard about this. We've heard that there, he said it, he said there are so many plaws, dating coaches out there, that will tell you all about their system, then you show up at a

bar with them and they cannot close the deal. They cannot close, and they make up all kinds of excuses. And so, if you've been to one of these courses, or you've taken one of these courses, I want to know if you've had any success whatsoever using the methodologies that were taught to you more Specifically if you've taken his course because he thinks he's revolutionizing the game I think he's just another dipshit telling you giving you terrible advice, but you know to each their own listen I don't I don't know I also 15 years old, convinced my dad to give me $199.99 to buy a real estate, get rich quick, real estate course. I went to a hotel, I went to a seminar, I paid $200 for CDs and DVDs or whatever they were, CDs I think they were, that I could listen to and get rich

in real estate. You know what I got? I got negative $200 balance on my dad's account is what I got. That's what I got to show for it. Listen, I'm an idiot just like everybody else sometimes. If you're brave enough, I would love to talk to you. Okay. You know what we have to do, Chrissy? Take a break. That's what we have to idea. Why don't we take a break? Gotcha. This is the break. And you already know when you hear my sexy voice, it's time to whip your phone out and follow us on Instagram or skip the ads at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB

podcast. And of course, you know, if you want to get involved, you can always give us a call or text us at 212-433-3TCB. That is 212-433-3822. And guess what? I finally have information on TCB Live! So, the links are in the show notes, but let me tell you right now, you can come see us at Dania Beach Improv on Tuesday September 24th or at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday September 25th. It's gonna be fab! So go buy your tickets and we'll see you in Florida! The scorebed app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah hey, who should I

take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do. Is that because you don't have any knees? Or... Ugh.

The ScoreBet, trusted sports content, seamless sports betting. Download today. 19 plus, Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to connexontario.ca. What's the feeling of fall? It's wearing a jacket you'll be taking off. Because fall

doesn't want you feeling cold all the time. No, sometimes it wants you feeling way too hot. Oh, and that jacket you wore? Now it's draped on your elbow, overheating your arm. While you cool off with your Starbucks Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew and the rich Parmesan Monterey and Cheddar of the new 3 Cheese and Egg Sandwich. That's the feeling of fall. And it's only at Starbucks. All right, we're back with our new favorite pause. Zach, let's round this out, Chrissy.

We're in the home stretch now. We are, come on. Regardless if we finish this video or not, we're in the home new favorite pause. Zach, let's round this out, Chrissy. We're in the home stretch now. Regardless if we finish this video or not, we're in the home stretch because I don't know how much more I could take of this. ...who you are and what you're about. It's time to get into the fourth piece, which is arousal. Oh, now we're talking, Chrissy. That's right. Now take a dick and keep on licking. Oh yeah, here we go.

Before I start talking about arousal, because this is not really a word. You know everybody's on the edge of their seats. Oh, every, yeah. Arousal, arousal, this is the part. Currently aroused. Arousal, thinking about arousal. Currently aroused, full tent pitched.

If you got a softie in your brain, you're gonna have a softie in your pants. You know what I'm saying? Somebody dick innuendos. Well, why am I so fascinated with the phallus? I don't know. It's just one of those things I've been like that since the chop, you know, I think we're gonna have a lot of stuff to talk about and some questions I just want to let you guys know that who exactly is asking the questions I don't hear a fucking person in the audience at one point There was at least two people in the audience because he asked questions and two people answered thing from the focus to the

What happened there three, okay, hold on one second be getting into getting this girl aroused and turned on as As soon as humanly possible Time is running out turned on as soon as humanly possible when you first walked up and tapped her on the shoulder. You first made eye contact with her. Now the reason is because, I mean, let's be real, do you guys see girls with big tits and like fat butts and like great makeup and think legs, the whole deal? What did they say? Someone in the audience. What did they say?

Someone in the audience screams long legs. Long legs. Yes. Someone in the audience screams, Long legs! Long legs! Yes, as if they're picturing a woman, like, right in front of them. Long legs! Say long legs! Brown hair! Brown hair! Landing strip, please say landing strip! Full orgasm completed! He described a naked woman, full orgasm completed!

Let's hear that again. That's too good. Okay, here we go. Think. Long legs. Long legs. He couldn't help himself. Legs, the whole deal.

And do you wait about three hours in to think, damn, this girl's hot? No. It doesn't work like that. And the girls don't want to wait an hour, two hours, three hours for you to start giving them the sexual experience that you're hoping for. Oh, Christina, please cut that up into a clip. Those five words or whatever it is, 10 words. Girls don't want to wait to get the sexual experience.

Your sexual experience. Oh, yeah. Girls don't want to wait an hour, two hours, three hours for you to start giving them the sexual experience that you're hoping that this is going to move to, right? Now, like, I mean, it really is nothing better than just like a first impression. You want to be making a sexual first impression.

Otherwise, you're making a very different kind of first impression. A a first impression. You wanna be making a sexual first impression. Otherwise, you're making a very different kind of first impression. And she's good. A sexual first impression. I mean, if anybody is following this, it would totally be a red flag. Oh, to everyone in the bar. That's like bartenders out there

who have like special coasters or it's like flip the coaster if you're in trouble. Flip the coaster if you want this guy away or something. Like these brilliant bartenders, male or female, they have these, they'll tell a single woman or single women, like when they get to the bar, hey, what you want for drink? Great, okay, I'm putting down this coaster.

If you have any trouble tonight with anybody, just let me know, flip the coaster. And then they ask the bouncer to ask that person to leave, or they distract them in some way, shape or form. There's a bar full of coasters flipping. If you come up and start acting, you're giving them the sexual experience as soon as possible. What exactly does that mean? The sexual experience? I know. I don't know. I have a very different understanding of who you are and how you and her are going to be interacting. Right? You know, what this-

Bouncing on my dick. No, that's- Boing, boing, boing. Not a bunch of fancy lines. She wants an experience and she wants the feeling that being with you is going to not only be a good choice, but it's going to make her feel safe. It's going to make her laugh.

Nothing- Yeah, so far the safe part is key here and that's not happening. You're telling them to go up and act completely strange. And then also hoping that the person on the other end receiving that very strange information that's not like any other interaction they'll have in that night, probably in that month,

possibly in their lifetime, that they'll feel safe with you. That is a really weird way to look at it. That's a really strange perspective. Like, all of this is very strange. Go up, stare at them. Don't talk to them, stare at them. Wait for them to get uncomfortable enough to say something. Then don't ask a question. Say weird statements to them like, I like your shoes, or you dance really well, or whatever it is. And then expect that they're going to feel safe in your sexual experience. It's gonna make her feel you know hot like you know like like a really attractive like a really attractive woman she like wants to feel

and wants to make you know it wants to make you feel she's gonna want to feel like you understand her sexuality and you can take responsibility for it and give her. Take responsibility for her sexuality? Dude, you are so fucking insane, bro. What are you fucking gabbing about? Honestly. Sexual experiences that, you know, she has when she goes to bed at night. So... LAUGHS

Yeah. Oh. LAUGHS night. So was it. Hey girl. What's up? It's me, Carl. I was just thinking about what kind of sexual experience you're having alone in your bed at night. And I was hoping that you feel safe enough to come bounce on my dick. I'm going to go to my Cox for Christ seminar right now, but I'll be right back. Love you, girl. Just remember, I like your shoes. Does that make you feel comfortable with the kind of sexual experience I'm gonna give you later? No? Okay.

Listen, I got a bag of cash. Yeah? All right, I'll be over later. I'll drop it at your mom's house. Carl out. Cogs for Christ. Cogs for Christ. She had that she thinks about in her mind before she goes to bed at night and when she wakes up in the morning, right? Same way that you guys do. You know, I mean, you guys probably have like fun little like sexual fantasies that run through your head. Girls are the same way. What these girls want and-

Yeah, they think of like Christian Grey, the billionaire, picking him up in their private plane and strapping them to a wall and taking control, but gently taking control. Consensually. I don't really want to be beaten with a riding crop, but you can whip it out and show it to me. Tickle my nipples a little bit. That's what they think about. I mean, I'm not saying everybody thinks about that. I'm sure some people have like a, you know, want somebody to dress up like a furry or

something. I don't know. There's so many things. There's all kinds of things, but I can guarantee you what they're not thinking about is that guy who uncomfortably had a staring contest with you at the bar. I can almost guarantee that is not what they're thinking about. Yeah, no. Exactly. They're not thinking about that at night. Good advice, Zach. This is solid. I'd pay millions for this.

What we want is for you to be able to give them that experience without really asking much for them. So here we are. Here we are. Here we are. This is kind of where I think that a lot of the other pickup material is really lacking. The fact of the matter is, is what happens after you have a girl turned on, right? Does it have, like, is it, like, is it a bunch of lines and gimmicks? No. It's actually very simple. It's time to crank up the emotion and time to start letting her know that, you know, like I said, you see her as this woman who has sexual fantasies and sexual desires and you're not only comfortable...

Tell me they're sexual fantasies. I have identified you as a woman who has sexual desires. Please input into my system so you can bounce on my dick later. What is he fucking mumbling about? But you're in touch with that. So I'm going to give you guys, I guess, I'll just give you one little strategy to do this because this is just so money. So money.

So 1982. So money. Who uses that word anymore? Oh my God. Hopefully you guys use this tonight. You can come back tomorrow and I want to hear some awesome stories. You've been laid. You've been laid. You've been bouncing all night. You've had a lot of bouncing going on. I hope you guys use this tonight. Not one guy, and there's probably seven,

not one of the seven guys, especially not the guy who yelled out, long legs! Long legs! Came back with a story about how the secret to success worked out. I want to hear his money statement. Let's do it.

There's a strategy that we realized that we were doing after we watched like a bunch of videos of ourselves. And we call this explicit restraint. Just that makes me laugh. They watch all these videos themselves. And what explicit restraint is, is basically you're gonna say like what it is that you wanna do to this girl, right?

Whether it's like something really, really graphic like throwing her up against the wall and ripping her clothes off, or even if it's something kind of innocent, like trying to make out with her, trying to kiss her, right? You're going to say- Yes, and- I can't wait to hear what comes next. Something that you want to do to this girl, but then you're going to give her a reason

why you're not going to do it right then. Oh, come on. I really want to stick my tongue on your clitoris, but, but my mommy says I have to be home by 11. I have to be home by 11. You see where I'm going with this? I know you want it now. You can't have it tonight. 11. I have to be home by 11. You see where I'm going with this? I know you want it now. Now you're-

Get out of it tonight. Panties wet. So for instance, this is, here's one that we used on program a couple weeks ago. We had a student. On program? What are you, sounds like NASA. Is it? Oh.

Apollo, oh. Apollo, what happened here? What happened with my thing? Oh, it broke. Apollo 13, are we on program? Shhh, this is Apollo 13. Houston, we have a problem. She ran away. 10-4, Apollo 13, stay on program. She'll be back. She can't resist. At the bar, and there was this girl. She was stunning. And she was there with her mom and

her dad and her brothers. And it was just, it was such a world of such a- Oh! Oh, we just took this to a whole new level. She was there with her whole family. She was there with her grandma, her two kids, her husband. She was there with the whole gang. Oh my God. Oh Lord. Where is this going?

...and the fact was, this girl was just too hot not to approach. Do you guys know those girls? The ones that like they walk in and you're like, oh this girl's just too hot not to approach. It doesn't matter that her mom's there. You guys know this one? Huh? Huh? Because I know, if you know. Her mom's there. Yeah, her mom's there. Her dad's there. Her 10th grade teacher is there.

You know what I'm saying? Gotta approach. She's too hot to approach. Do you know what I'm saying, guys? You ever been in a bar and been like, that girl's too hot not to approach. You gotta go approach. Must approach. Because I can guarantee if they knew that, if they said that in their own heads,

they would not be paying $3,000 to be sitting in front of you right now. Her dad's there, whatever. Whatever. So I told the student, I was like, look dude, I know what I would do if I were you. I'd approach her. So he was like, yeah, but what do I say?

I was like, you know what? Just push past the grandmother and get straight to staring. Ah! Knock her grandma down, pick her back up, and say, you're too hot not to approach. Hey, Dad, what's up, man? Zach, Zach Bauer.

Internet extraordinaire. You only have one shot at this. You might as well just go just swing. Just what? Swing your dick? Yeah, just swing for the fences. Tell this girl if her parents weren't watching her like a hawk, you'd be trying to make out with her shamelessly right now. Oh my God.

And what happened? He walked up to her. He like kind of pulled her aside, whispered that in her ear. Come here. And then the police came rolling in. Yeah, the dad punches him. What is he talking about? This never happened. This never happened. This is a level of bullshit that only some of our current presidential candidates can conjure up.

This is insane. This never happened. I guarantee you this never happened. You know, me and Rob were like hanging in the background, like waiting to see like, oh man, is this gonna blow up or is this gonna go great? And all of a sudden the girl, like I saw like the wheels turning and all of a sudden this huge grin spread over this girl's, like this girl's face.

She was 12. Yeah. She was picturing her first kiss. And had she been legal in the state of Mississippi, then I certainly would have told my students to turn on the sexual experience part of the SPLOW or whatever you call it. And the fact of the matter was her parents were watching her like a hawk and her parents saw what was going on. They grabbed her and whisked her away and they all left the bar.

Let's go. You're only 16. You're not allowed to be in this bar. They grabbed her, whisked her away. Oh my God. This is the strangest story I have ever heard. It's bordering on criminal actually, because I want to know how old this girl was. She's with her mom and dad.

How do you know that instinctively? Her whole family. Yeah. The fact of the matter is, how good is that? You know, like when you are getting a girl turned on. What? That was counted as success? That was counted as a success that her mom and dad yanked her away, that she had a

smile on her face. that she had a smile on her face? She probably had no clue what to do. She's probably completely fucking confused and gave her parents the high sign like, let's get the fuck out of here. There's some strange motherfuckers in this bar. That is not success. That is not what you said you promised us at the beginning of this was going to be considered

a success. You said the openers don't matter. Screw the openers and all the talking. It only matters that you get someone in bed and I'm going to show you how to do that. Now you are flouting this, taunting these students with this story. People are running away from your students. Parents are getting out shotguns. The police are being called.

What is this? You are so proud of yourself that you told a student to go tell her I'm gonna I would fuck you if your parents weren't here this is so crazy parents have to remove her from the situation oh there there is a crowd we got a reaction there is a crowd what I'm saying is like you want to be and like I want to give you like a little I would just to give you a little advice. I don't actually recommend you do this Disclaimer why this works so well the reason that this idea of explicit How did that work? It didn't it didn't work just because she smiled failure is a success

I don't understand because she smiled. I did not see money Yeah, because people react differently in different situations. And I can guarantee you this girl was not turned on. She didn't know if this even happened and it did not. If this even happened in some imaginary world that you're living in. Girls, maybe she smiled because she was terribly uncomfortable. And that's like her uncomfortable move is to smile. I pee myself.

That's when I get uncomfortable. I pee myself. That's when I get uncomfortable. I pee myself. Not because you're being vulgar or because you're stating your sexual intention. It's because you're planting the idea in her head and making her feel comfortable with the fact that you're not about to just jump on it. Right? So many guys- But that's exactly what you said. Oh my God. Study this dating advice and pick up stuff. You know, so many guys are so caught up

in the idea of needing this girl and needing to get the sex that, you know, it's just so obvious. You know, and I can say that because I was one of those guys. You know, I felt like, you know, oh, like you can't get a phone number because that's no good. You got to like get her home with you can't get a phone number because that's that's no good

You got to like get her home with you Otherwise it doesn't count right and if you guys ever like ever thought anything like that or something like oh like I gotta get the phone Number I gotta close or anything like that right if you've ever thought you actually have to have success to get a girl in bed You don't You all you have to do is just say some words and then when she leaves you can be done. Ding ding ding ding ding. You know how many times I scored in the... Do you know how many girls that ran away from me tonight? Closed, closed, closed. The whole bar was closed by the end of the night and the actual bar was closed. I stayed

until the bar was closed because I closed every bar. Every woman at the bar. All focused on needing that outcome too bad to the point where you're not able to give this girl the experience that she wants. Wait. Now you're saying that you actually don't have to bed a girl to bed a girl. You are so full of fucking shit. Guys, I want you to hear this. Anybody, I mean no one in our audience, I don't believe, would ever believe this shit. But because I just, for some reason, I imagine the typical commercial break listener just to be a little like scooch smarter than a regular. Yes, yes, absolutely.

Because as I have said, there's a lot of people in this world and some of them are not well. The reality is he opens with, I'm going to show you how to get, stop getting these openers and all this mathematical equations out of your head on how to get, stop getting these openers and all this mathematical equations out of your head on how to approach a girl. Forget the approach. We're going to go right to it and show you how to be successful and get girls in bed that night. Jumping on your dick is exactly, bouncing on your dick is exactly the word he used. By the end of his short three hour presentation, now he's saying that you don't even have to have sex with a girl to consider it a success.

Or get a number. He moved the goalpost over and over again until you were so smitten with his story about how some young girl ran away with her parents that you're so impressed you're gonna spend another $500 to get one hour of coaching time with this guy. Guys, this is completely horseshit.

Yeah. All right. The man, he was quite the entertainer. He was quite the entertainer. I will give him that. Zach the entertainer. Well, he was entertaining with us interjecting because this guy is quite frankly a snooze fest. But the words that he was saying were really quite fascinating actually. I'd like to be in the mind of one of these guys just for a day.

To find out if they really believe this actually works or they're just selling this. I think this is a lot like these real estate coaches. They have no fucking clue what they're doing, but they'll tell you how to do it. You'll have success if you just pay them to teach you about all of it. Anyway, wow. Wow. I will tell you that we have gotten more reaction to this Zach Bauer breakdown than we have of any other episode in commercial break history. I do not know what happened, but we tickled some jingle balls here. I'm telling you, it's crazy.

So there you go. We're rounding it out. We did the third. I can't go any longer. There's like 10 minutes left, but I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry. We got it. We got the gist of it. I don't need to hear the closing remarks. He and Rob, I did a little research and he and Rob departed ways. Oh, they did? They spent so much time together. Five years by his account. Well, he's's on his next venture which is selling Bitcoin! Yeah, yeah that's right! With Donald Trump.

That's how we even got started on this. That's the beginning of the story. Anyway, okay, thank you very much. I appreciate everyone who's been writing in and calling in and all that stuff and commenting about this episode. I'm glad you enjoyed it. We'll be back. We'll circle back to him, I promise.

You know, give us six months. The. Our, uh, funny. That's right. Like my leaking bones, let this leak out of me a little bit and then we'll, we'll be back. All right. Coming very quickly. Uh, two weeks from now of two Tuesdays from last Tuesday. But anyway, you get it on the 24th. We're going to be in Danny, Danny Improv atia Beach down near Fort Lauderdale and Miami. You can get your tickets now available in the show notes on our website or at the venue website themselves. So Google Dania Beach Improv and we'll also be at the Bone, Chrissy.

The Bone! And Orlando on the 25th. Tickets now available to that too. TCBpodcast.com. That's the website, all the audio, all the video, and the tickets. 212-433-3TCB, 212-433-3822 at the commercial break on Instagram.

Thanks to Nicky Jam for coming in this week. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for right now. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. And best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Until next time, Chrissy and I do say, we will say, and we must say, goodbye. I get ass!