The Commercial Break - The Secret To Sexcess!

Episode Date: September 6, 2024

Episode #596: We’re taking a long and convoluted journey through politics, past alt coin, all the way to PUAs…Stick with us, it’s worth it. When were your parents banging? Trump trading cards Gold sneakers They sold out, but we have plenty! Trump’s NFTs and Alt Coin Bryan got scammed A trading board member PUA? The 21 Convention Breakout sessions at the PUA convention Boner Broth 3000 Send Krissy & Christina to a 21 Convention! Nothing special, nothing wrong Four Elements of Game Bouncing on that dick Puka shell bracelets get the ladies Feel that eye contact NO HOMO 100 hours of in field footage Come To Our Shows: Dania Beach Improv (Tuesday, Sept. 24th) The Funny Bone Orlando (Wednesday, Sept. 25th) Text us or leave us a voicemail: [phone]TCB Follow Us: IG: @thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast YT: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak www.tcbpodcast.com Executive Producer: Bryan Green Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Producer: Astrid B. Green Producer & Audio Editor: Christina Archer Christina’s Podcast: Apple Podcasts & Spotify To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get ready for Las Vegas style action at BetMGM, the king of online casinos. Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous for when you play the classics like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat and Roulette. With our ever-growing library of digital slot games, a large selection of online table games and signature BetMGM service, there is no better way to bring the excitement and ambiance of Las Vegas home to you than with BetMGM Casino. Download the BetMGM Casino app today.

BetMGM and GameSense remind you to please play responsibly. BetMGM.com for Ts and Cs, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.

Kick off an exciting football season with Bet MGM, an official Sportsbook partner of the National Football League. Yard after yard, down after down, the Sportsbook Born in Vegas gives you the chance to take action to the end zone and celebrate every highlight real play. And as an official Sportsbook partner of the NFL, BetMGM is the best place to fuel your football fandom on every game day. With a variety of exciting features. BetMGM offers plenty of seamless ways to jump straight into the gridiron and to embrace peak sports action. Ready for another season of gridiron glory? What are you waiting for? Get off the bench, into the huddle, and head for the end zone all season long. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older.

Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. Gambling problem? For free assistance, call the Connex Ontario Helpline at 1-866-531-2600. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Right, so here's the reason I don't care that I can't do a handstand or a splits. I was 11 years old when I started in the most phenomenally successful franchise of all time. I have some of the greatest British actors of all time on my speed dial on my phone. I have Gary Oldman, Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Danny Dyer. I have Danny Dyer on my f***ing phone. Yeah, but can you do this?

I'm gonna call him. We're doing the same thing, Jake! Yeah, I've appeared do this? I'm gonna call him. We're doing the same thing, Jake! Yeah, I've appeared naked on a Broadway stage. I have kissed Emma Watson. I'm the most famous person you've ever been near. For fuck's sake, Jake, you might as well... MUSIC On this episode of the Commercial Break...

Bone broth. Get your bone up, get in bone. You know what I'm talking about? Get that bone broth in you. Straight from the bowl. We make bone broth with literal boners. That's our bone broth. Not FDA approved or reviewed. Why buy a 3000? Bone-er broth.

Bone-er broth. Bone-er broth. Bone boner broth? Boner broth! Boner broth! Boner broth 3000! The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now! Yeah boy! Oh yeah cats and kittens welcome back to the Commercial Break I'm Brian Green this is my dear friend and the co-host of this incredibly dumb podcast Chris and Joy Hoadley best to you Chris and Hi, I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and co-host of this incredibly dumb podcast. Chris and Joy Hoadley. Best of you, Chris and Best of you out there in the podcast

universe. Thanks for joining us. We really appreciate it. It's September. No more wearing white, Chrissy. You broke the rules before the game even started. You don't know how to do it. You don't know. the rules before the game even started. You don't know how to do it. You don't know. You don't know. Those rules are out the window. What is that rule? Why is that rule even in effect?

I read a whole little article the other day, there's no reason. It basically just dates back to like the 1800s or something. The 1800s? It was a way for society women to show that they were of society. Oh, they were of society if they didn't wear white after Labor Day. When did Labor Day start?

In the 1800s? Yes. Really? It did. It did? Wow. Here I am so misinformed. I thought that was like a 1950 something.

We made Labor Day. But I guess, you know, there's... Well, there was the first Labor Day parade was like in the 1800s. Wow. You never know until you know. You know what I just realized? I realized that I was born at the beginning of September, which means that my parents would have fucked in December right around the holiday times. Just sharing that with you. It was a nice little Christmas present.

Hey, listen. Our New Year's. They did it once. So let's see, one of my brothers was born in March, that means they were doing it around Labor Day. So one of my other brothers, they were having sex on my birthday for one of my other brothers, and then Thanksgiving.

So Thanksgiving, Labor Day, and Christmas, we know that my parents were fucking. Do you ever wonder about stuff like that? Yeah. Yeah? When were your parents fucking? Well. You're a March baby, right? Yeah. Yeah? When were your parents fucking? Well, I... You're a March baby, right?

February. February, I'm sorry. So February, so it was running that clock back just about nine months, and there you get six minus seven, carry the one, that would be your in, oh, that's a random month, that's May. Oh, maybe you're a Memorial Day baby. Maybe.

Maybe that's what was going on. A few kicky cocktails. Maybe. Laying back. Well, Jeff has... Maybe a Xanny or two and smoke a cigarette. Well, Jeff and his brothers all have... Well, he and his brother, one of his brothers,

had to have the exact same birthday in October. Same day, one year apart. And then his other brother is a week later, but was due on that same birthday. So, yeah. Jared Slauson Oh, really? Hey, listen, two of our kids are born, would have been born on the same day. They had the same birthday, but we, since there was a C-section involved, we chose to

pack it up just one day, just to give them their own day because we knew that maybe not now but in the future that might cause problems. So, and you know what I'm going to get the kids for their birthdays, Chrissy, this year, for Christmas and their birthdays? Trump trading cards, Trump digital trading cards. Why not? It's the gift that keeps on giving. It does.

What in the fuck? Are you ordering enough to get the sneakers? Well, you got to. I mean, in for a penny, in for a pound. If you're going that far. Why would you buy a Trump digital trading card without then getting a free pair of sneakers? IRL. And a piece of the suit.

Yes. There's the NFT, there's the actual physical trading card, a piece of the suit. I don't know how to explain it better. I don't know who could explain it better actually than Donald Trump himself. And I know this sounds like a weird sequitur, but trust me, today's episode, I will follow this up. I will follow it through. Let's let Trump himself describe what's going on with his new... Because the first batch, the one that he sold two years ago...

They had a lot of fun with it. They had a lot of fun with it. I know they sold out. I think they're trading on eBay for about a dollar fifty right now. Why not... Money well spent. Why not sucker a bunch of other people into spending way too much? This is so transactional. It's crazy.

Do you know what I'm saying? It's crazy. Like them, hate them. You know, listen, I'll just be straight out. I'm just saying, I'm not the world's biggest fan of Trump, you know, uh, but I voted conservative and I voted liberal. It depends on who the actual person is. Yeah.

It depends on who it is and who at that moment. I'm a true independent. I'm one of those people that they keep talking about that's gonna win or lose the election. I'm one of those people. I'm not a big fan of Trump. And part of the reason why I'm not a big fan of Trump is because he does stupid shit like this.

Like, why are you selling NFTs? Why the fuck are you selling NFT? You're trying to be the president of the United States. Don't get into some scammy-ass bullshit NFTs selling shoes and pieces of your clothing. I'm selling pieces of clothing from the day that I got shot. Like, how many pieces of clothing could you possibly sell? They're cutting up his suit and selling it. But here, let me let him talk about this. Explain. Yes.

Hello, everyone. This is your favorite president, Donald J. Trump, with some very exciting news. By popular demand, I'm doing a new series of Trump digital trading cards. You all know what they are. We've had a lot of fun with them. It's called the America First Collection. 50 all new stunning digital trading cards. Stunning. They're stunning.

50. There's 50 different versions of them. I'm sure they will make them ad infinitum as long as people continue to buy them. And I love how he's not even, you know, we did them before, we had so much fun with it. It's something he's not even convinced. These cards show me dancing

and even me holding some Bitcoins. Holding some Bitcoins. Holding some Bitcoins. The teleprompter glitched. Three great things for my Trump Digital Card collection. Can you hold a bitcoin? No, you can't hold a bitcoin, but he doesn't know that. He doesn't know shit. He doesn't know shit. And why should he? He's 80 years old. Like, I give the guy a pass. He's 80

years old. I barely know what a bitcoin is, and I'm much younger than he is. I mean, I understand the whole concept, but I think I understand the whole concept anyway. But you get my message here. Like, if you're going to be president of the United States, let's hold off on selling the NFT. Let's hold off on making a billion dollars off your flags and your name and your hats and your coffee mugs and your special brew of brandy. Let's just hold that off until after you are sure you're never going to be president again But you know, I guess a lot of people are into this. Yeah kind of thing Let's see what we get if we order some of these he's gonna explain all the perks that you get Real physical trump cards

Purchase 15 or more of my trump digital trading cards and we'll mail you a beautiful physical trading card It's really I think quite something I think quite something. I Think quite something. Is it really quite something that you've mail out a baseball card? Basically, but by the way, there are $100 apiece, right? Yes in night, excuse me 99.99 Chris Okay, there's one penny less than 100. He's psychologically psyching you out. Here's the thing too, is like,

you're selling a Topps baseball card, but the baseball card isn't like an organic picture of Trump, it is literally an AI generated image of him on a lion holding an American flag, riding a lion. He's lost all the marbles, they're all gone. The trading card has an authentic piece of my suit that I wore for the presidential debate,

and people are calling it the knockout suit. I don't know about that, but that's what they're calling it. So we'll have a knockout suit. The knockout suit. Well, it did knock Joe Biden out of the race. There's one truth in this 15-minute ramble. Going to get a piece of it and we'll be randomly autographing five of them, a true collector's

item. This is something to give your family, your kids, your grandchildren. Number two is to purchase a grandkid. That's what every seven year old wants for Christmas. It's a Trump digital trading card. I've got all 12! Five of my Trump digital trading cards, and you will also be invited to join me for a gala dinner at my beautiful country club in Jupiter, Florida.

We really have tremendous dinners with my collectors. Jared Sarkissian We have tremendous dinners with my collectors where we sort of slap right out of the cafeteria. I show up for one second, wave to the camera and leave. Beth Dombkowski Yeah, it's not Mar-a-Lago, it's Jupiter. Jared Sarkissian Well, that's right. It can't be said Mar-a-Lago because if he said Mar-a-Lago, then people would stop paying

him $150,000 to join that Mar-a-Lago. Right. I mean, if anybody is dumb enough to think that Trump is going to go, you know, sit with somebody for four hours at a dinner and have a conversation with them, he's going to walk in and walk out of the room. You think Trump's spending time with digital trading card collectors? Fun together. We're going to have a good time.

The third thing we're doing for my Trump collectors is including a pair of my new Trump sneakers when you buy five or more of my Trump digital trading cards. Remember my gold sneakers and they went like crazy. Everybody's talking about them. They're still talking about them. Everybody's talking about them. Still talking about them. Everybody. They're still talking about them. Everybody's talking about them. Still talking about them. Everybody.

They're still talking about them. It's a $500 pair of sneakers. By the way, I go to a lot of places, like everybody does, I go to a lot of places. I have yet to see a pair of those sneakers on any human being. I'm sure they say sold some. I know they did. And that's the thing about Trump is that his name could sell anything. And he does literally sell anything. The guy had a steak company for God's sake. Trump Steaks, which was like grade D meat that people sued him for. But anyway, regardless of that, the thought that people would be clamoring for these shoes,

that's why he's throwing them in there is because he didn't sell any of them. And he's like, what do I do with all these fucking shoes? I give them to the digital digital card traders People went wild for him and that's good they sold out in a matter of hours so get they sold out then how do you have some left Answer me that riddle me that Riddle me that you Trump sneakers and don't miss out I'm keeping my Trump digital trading cards at the same price of ninety nine dollars each

We've done that right from the beginning. So go to collect trump cards comm it's really easy to buy You just need an email address and a credit card Crypto a credit card or crypto mortgage You know they call it. Or crypto. A credit card or crypto. Mortgage your house. You just need crypto. Crypto. You need a credit card or crypto. Look at this picture of him on this trading card.

I know. It doesn't look anything like him. It's amazing. It looks like Cary Grant in that picture. He the crypto president. I don't know if that's true or not, but a lot of people together and enjoy my Trump cards. We're going to have a lot of fun.

We'll be talking about it for a long time. Thank you very much. Have a good time. Have a good time. Have a good time. Ding, ding, ding. Ding, ding, ding. Stump in the ring.

Listen, I mean, vote for him, don't for him, don't vote for him, whatever. I didn't want to point that out to get political. What I wanted to point out is it's so stupid. I mean, it's so fucking stupid. We've been talking about NFTs for a long time on this show, which is essentially what the Trump trading card is, just an NFT. But the NFT, the model of the NFT, something, there is something there. Digital rights management, there is something there. Digital rights management, there is something there.

But essentially it is a PDF of a fucking picture. That's all it is. It's a PDF that somehow gets recorded on the blockchain and I don't want to explain it all here because I'm not sure. They're like, woo-bam! NFTs! You take a little Trump and you put into your machine, 40 pounds lighter, 60 years younger. Riding a lion.

Riding a lion, wha-bam! 99.99 plus shoes. All painted with real fake gold. My shoes are painted with real fake gold, not like those other fake golds. It's just so silly. The whole concept is so silly. I don't get it. If anybody did it, we would be laughing.

If any other politician did this, Democrat or Republican, it's like, Ted Cruz came out with Ted Cruz digital trading cards. People would go apeshit. They'd be like, what the fuck are you doing? But I don't know. I guess this is just part and parcel of Trump 2024. The poor guy. The poor guy.

Honestly. I said from the beginning, for the little politics that we talk on the show, I said, Biden seems too old to run. He's having a lot of issues up there. I think Trump is in the same boat. I think Trump is just too old to run. I mean, he's literally losing it. He's allowing anybody to make a name for themselves off his back. Like, who are the geniuses who are... You know, Trump isn't actually putting those NFTs up on OpenSea himself. He's not selling those. He didn't

make them. Someone just came to him with an idea and he said, yeah, I'll sign off on it, whatever. So who are these buffoons who are just getting Trump to do these stupid, stupid shit left or right? And is there no, I mean, I realized that like the, at least the, the word on Trump is that there's no way that anybody can convince him to do anything he doesn't want to do. In other words, he is the sole decision maker in everything that he does. Fine, fair enough, great, wonderful. But is there no human being around him? Not even that Melania who doesn't even seem to be married to him anymore? Isn't there like anybody on earth that can just take a look at these ideas before they

go out the door and go, this was a bad idea round one? Why are we doing this round two? Why are we doing this round two? Why are we doing this round two? No, it's hilarious. But I'll tell you who is behind some of this shit that he's going through. So now it's the NFTs and now he's getting into altcoin, like Bitcoin like activities.

His son had a baron, had an idea to do a brokerage, a trading brokerage online. He put together a white paper explaining how this platform was going to work. Baron isn't the first to come up with this idea. It's just that most legitimate, at least, platforms are staying away from this kind of trading activity that Baron is pitching because it hasn't worked. There's actually been a couple of companies that have gone bankrupt. It's highly complicated. I'm not going to explain it here, but just know there is some now talk that Trump will get into the altcoin world on his own. He started this company, this company, the other day on Twitter,

they have a Twitter page and they released a link that was supposedly to where people could go buy some of these coins, right? So people went there to buy them only the, and this came up on Don Jr's and Eric's Twitter also this came up on their feed and Laura Loomer or Laura Trump came up on their feed, and Laura Loomer, or Laura Trump, came up on her feed also. There's only one problem. That actually wasn't the link to buy it. It was scammers who had gotten into their accounts and then directed people to a fake website that looked like the real website, and then people were getting scammed out of money, which is terrible for the people that went there. I really feel bad for them because, and I have admitted this on the show, and by the way, there was a big Rolling

Stone article about this, how Elon Musk is being used to scam people in the altcoin universe, left and right. Here's how it works. You go to YouTube and all of a sudden, Elon Musk is now live on YouTube. You go to that YouTube channel, looks like Elon Musk, sounds like Elon Musk, and he's telling you, because I so believe in the altcoin universe, the bitcoin universe, the blockchain, I am going to 5X your money. You give me one bitcoin and I will give you five bitcoins back. Oh yeah, I saw that. I got scammed. I am not too proud to admit it.

I will share this with you so no one else does this. It was two or three years ago. We had just moved into this studio. I was setting up the studio one night waiting for a program to download. I go on YouTube. I need altcoin now. Yeah, Elon Musk is live and he says,

send me your wallet by sending me a portion of a Bitcoin so that I can verify your wallet and then I will send you back 5X what you send to me. Right? Brian, who has never been scammed in his entire life because I don't know, maybe I'm one step ahead, maybe I'm just not dumb enough to get, I scam the scammers. I sent to that wallet, waiting patiently for the next 24 hours for my 5X to come back. It never came. The next day I go to find the YouTube page, it's completely gone. This account has been disabled due to, you know, whatever. Scam? Scams, right? You got scammed, basically is what it says. You got scammed. Congratulations,

Brian. But I was not the only one. Apparently, millions of people have been scammed by something very similar to this. And Elon Musk is always at the crux of this because, I don't know, his voice is so widely available, they just can use it in AI or whatever it is. I was totally scammed, completely. So, now I feel really bad for these people who went to, you know, Don Jr's or Eric's Twitter page at whatever, got a tweet or whatever they did, and it said, hey, go here, got an X. I don't even know what you call it anymore. Got an X. And then all of a sudden, they're being scammed out of money because they think that this is something they're getting in on the ground floor. It's really just a couple of kids in Oshkosh Wisconsin scamming

you. But this is why I think generally presidential candidates should probably stay out of selling NFTs and altcoins. Yeah, it seems like a good idea. So who's behind this? Who's like coming up with all of these ideas? Who's like pulling the strings in the background? I will tell you who is pulling strings on the background. A notorious, I may say notorious, but a guy that is probably better known for being a pickup artist, a poire, if you will. What? Brian's trolling internet habits have discovered, it's actually through a story that I read,

I didn't do all the homework on this one, but I got to it pretty quickly that one of the guys that's involved in this new trading platform, this new platform for altcoin that Baron has the idea and then there's a bunch of people that sit on the board that are connected to Trump in some kind of way and Trump himself is involved in this also. There is a guy behind there pulling the strings and his past life or maybe his current life, potentially his future life, is being a poise, a pickup artist. And where has this guy appeared? The 21 Convention. No. Yes. The 21 Convention.

Where Chrissy and I have been breaking down videos of these poises forever and we have been doing the 21 Convention probably since we, I guess, got hot to it. I don't know, maybe about three seasons ago. But there is a video available of this guy doing a Pickup Artist seminar. And if you'd like to, we can review some of the stuff that's going on. Just so we, I mean, how could we pass up the opportunity?

This is how it's all connected. So once again, let me state for the record, don't care who you vote for, it's not a political show. I just thought that this was such a fucking funny thing that Trump is doing that I had to like play a little bit of it and let you know. But you do get free shoes. So I guess 99.99 gold sneakers. If worse comes to worse, you got a pair of shoes you can wear around and they're going to mail you a Trump trading card. I mean, what more could you ask for? And a piece of the suit?

A piece of the suit? How small do you think that piece of the suit is? I mean, it's got to be tiny, right? The knockout suit. That's what they're calling it. Who's calling it that? That is the thing that I hate when Trump says the most is they're all saying it. Everybody says it goes back to the States.

Everybody loves it. Everybody. Who is everybody? Name one. Name one person. All the people in his orbit. I know, they just keep, anyway, whatever. So, that's that. I just thought I'd unravel this a little bit. And then when it got down to the meat and potatoes, it's right in our wheelhouse. So, don't know this guy. I can't believe it. Don't know, you know, I don't know him personally. I'm not saying anything bad about the guy, but he is a poise. So, I think it's fair game that we just take

a listen to what he has to say. But we'll have to do that, Chrissy, after we take a break. I know you were waiting on baited breath. Right after these messages, we'll be right back. That's all that needs to be said. Okay, you guys, I have an idea. Why don't we take a break? Gotcha, this is the break.

And you already know when you hear my sexy voice, it's time to whip your phone out and follow us on Instagram or skip the ads at the commercial break and on TikTok at TCB podcast. And of course, you know, if you want to get involved, you can always give us a call or text us at 212-433-3-TCB. That is 212-433-3822. And guess what? I finally have information on TCB Live.

So the links are in the show notes, but let me tell you right now, you can come see us at Daniel Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th, or at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. It's gonna be fab. So go buy your tickets and we'll see you in Florida! What's 2FA security on Kraken? Let's say I'm captaining my soccer team, and we're up by a goal against, I don't know, the Burlington Bulldogs. Do we relax? No way. Hey there, I'm Kendra Adachi and my show, The Lazy Genius Podcast, is brought to you crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash ca dash PRU dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Hey there, I'm Kendra Adachi and my show, The Lazy Genius Podcast helps you be a genius about the things that matter and lazy about the things that don't.

And you get to decide what matters. I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'm here to give you a new way to see. Okay. Without further ado, 21 Convention. Here's one of our plots. I think this is from 2019 or 2020. I could be wrong about that. There's not a timestamp on here, but I'm just guessing that this is pre-COVID. Because again, he's been too busy making Trump trading cards since then. Sure. Yeah, he got a new job. Okay. And here he is. Hold on one second. Zach Bauer. Here he is.

And the 21 convention is where there's a group of these plaws that get together and- You buy tickets. And tell you their- Tell you their secrets to sex success. Exactly. Tell you the secrets of getting that, nailing down that pussy every time you want to, buddy.

I was just like you. And then I started talking at the plaw convention. And now I I was just like you. And then I started talking at the Flock convention. And now I'm still just like you with 50 extra dollars in my pocket. Oh, I don't think we're getting that through the... Were you getting that through? Oh, here. Nevermind. Sorry. Sorry about that. His name is Zach Bauer. Okay. Here. Zach Bauer. Here we go. What's going on, guys? It's good to be here all the way down in Orlando, huh?

Huh? Do you not know? Huh? By the way, nice looking guy. Nice looking dude. Yeah, he's got the long hair look with the opened button down shirt. I can kind of imagine what Woody Harrelson looks like

on a Saturday afternoon after smoking weed with Willie Nelson. Yeah. He could use an iron. I will say that. All right. So I'm, I realized that like you guys have been here for a while because everyone can hear me. Yeah. All right. Everyone can hear you because it's literally a hotel room in Orlando. It's not that big. I've been a long day. So you you know, what I want to do is

That's a great way to start your speech. It's been a long day. So I know you, everyone's tired. Just take a nap if you want to. I'm picturing too what this long day entails at the convention. It entails. Getting up the breakout session.

Breakout sessions, Chrissy, you gotta go to every booth. You gotta see the whole scene. When you spend moneyout sessions, Chrissy, you gotta go to every booth. You gotta see the whole scene. When you spend money like that, Chrissy, you don't wanna be left out. White brand 3000, now on sale in booth 33. Get your dick on. A little bit about now selling bone broth. What is it that...

Bone broth. Get your bone up getting bone. You know what I'm talking about? Get that bone broth in you. Straight from the bowl. We make bone broth with literal boners. That's our bone broth. Not FDA approved or reviewed. Why buy a 3000 boner broth?

Boner broth. Boner broth. Boner broth. Boner broth. Not FDA approved or reviewed. Why buy a 3000? Boner broth. Boner broth. Boner broth 3000. What I do and why I think that it's a little bit different from a lot of the other stuff that's out there right now and how this can be used to your advantage.

And I'm also going to tell you a little bit about where I came from and how I basically got to where I am now so that. So that. How I got to where I am now. You know the worst speaking engagement is at four o'clock at any convention. Oh yeah. Because everyone's had lunch.

Yeah. And they're sleeping. Oh after lunch. sleepy. They're ready to go take a nap so they can get to the bars for the cocktail hour later on that night. They are thinking about anything but what you're talking about. That's why whenever I go to one of those speaking occasions for podcasts,

I always do morning sessions. Someone offers me an afternoon session. I mean, listen, actually, I'll take whatever they give me, but I try and choose the morning session because I'm like, at least people will be kind of awake. I mean, I would love to just go to one of these conventions as a girl, you know, and go hit up the cocktail time. Oh, Chrissy.

And see what happens. You would be... See what tricks... Oh, now there'd be like chum in the water and those Bahamas, you know, feed the shark things. You're the chum. Yeah, that would be interesting. Let's wire you up and get you down to one of these things. We're going to be in Orlando.

That's true. Unfortunately, I don't think we're going to be there during the 21 convention. If we are, we better have security at the door. That would be amazing. Wouldn't that be amazing? Yeah. ...at the 21 convention in front of you guys. And I promise that's not going to get boring. I'm going to keep it short.

And finally, I'm going to give you guys what we found, what Rob and I have found to be a system that we've developed for ourselves so that we can go out and get very consistent results whenever a girl that we're attracted to is in front of us and that you guys are gonna be able to go out and hopefully use tonight, tomorrow, and every day going forward. So I guess you know... Wow, this guy was born to be a speaker. Steve Jobs, Barack Obama, Zach Bauer. Just to start off, I think the first thing that I want to share with you guys is kind of where I came from. I was just an average guy, nothing special, nothing really wrong with me, nothing really

special, but at the same time- Nothing really wrong with me. Wrong with me. Why would you point that out? nothing really wrong with me. Why would you point that out? Nothing really wrong with me. Suspicious as fuck. You know, I really question my dating life. I never really questioned the girls that I was ending up with. And, you know, not one question, you didn't give them one question the entire time.

That's probably where you went wrong. I was OK. You know, once in a while I'd have a girl and, you know, it wasn't really by Not one question? You didn't give him one question the entire time. That's probably where you went wrong. I was okay. You know, once in a while I'd have a girl and, you know, it wasn't really by choice, but, you know... It wasn't by choice! What are you doing? Where did you come from? What does that mean? Suspicious is the... I'm gonna be singing Morgan Jay all episode long, kids. She'd like me and it would kind of work out and you know kind of drift along like that.

Okay. Okay. Oh you like me? Okay. You want to show me your pussy? Okay. It's not by choice. You want a woodhawk tool on my cock?

Okay. I guess. I guess. I guess. I guess. You want a woodhawk tool on the cock? Okay. I guess. I guess.

Hey mom. What happened tonight? Some girl spit on my cock. Not by choice. I'm gonna go sulk. And you know, this kept going on and in college I would see some of my best friends just, you know, hooking up with all the girls that I wanted, you know, and I would end up with their friends or, you know, whatever came along.

And you know, it was really frustrating because whatever came along. Dude, you should have practiced this speech in the hotel room a couple of times. In the mirror. Yeah, in the mirror. Did no one check this shit? When they asked these people to speak, we saw that one guy a couple of months ago and he was like the saddest sack in the world. He's like, it's the worst time of my life. I literally have 70 books, 70 boxes of books I can sell.

From Romania. That's why I'm giving them out for free to you. I knew that there wasn't much difference between me and my buddies and just night after night these guys were getting home the girls that I wanted and you know It was a real pain in the ass But you know that being said like as a real pain in the end realized that there was anything I don't even know what this guy's talking about I've had all the Who is leaving this room going man? Yeah, that was engaging

Did you see Zach? Did you see Zach? You miss Zach's? You better check it out online. That was the shit. He gave us some bomb information. He said it was, he said he was with girls and not by choice. It was really irritating.

I didn't know that I needed to work on myself. I just figured, you know, this is how it is and this is how it's going to be. Like, you know, I'm going to get what I'm going to get and you know, might as well just keep going on with my life Well that all changed when you know, I moved I got all changed when I bought Trump digital trading card Hey, you want to go back home and see my trading card? I got a paper copy College moved to New York and pretty much had no social circle. I had no girls to introduce me to their friends.

I had no guys going out to meet friends for me to meet the friends of their friends. Friends of friends. Friends of friends. I had nobody to go to friends of friends of friends. So again, I just unwillingly went and slept with hot rich girls. Oh, hum. He's like Eeyore. I know.

And, you know, I realized like, you know, shit, like I have a big problem here. Either I'm going to continue going about my life doing what I know how to do best, which is, you know, just do it. Nothing. Nothing, apparently. Not speaking. Speaking engagements. Or, I'm not going to end up with the girls that I want.

I need to do something here. At this point, I started going out a lot and I started trying to meet up with guys that I saw were getting good results with women. Oh, yeah, that's it. Just latch on to my tail feathers there, buddy. Nothing like having a third wheel. Hey, you. I see you're successful.

Mind if I join you? Hey, Bob, it's Zach. Hey, man, what's going on? I'm just wondering if I could cuckold you. I'm really bummed out about all this random pussy I'm getting unwillingly. Sure man, come on down. Watch me knock out some fanny. Thanks man. I'll be there in a few minutes. Oh, I'm out of shampoo. Gotta go to the store. I'm on a ship who, gonna go to the store. Now ultimately this brought me to meet my buddy Rob, who maybe you guys, some of you might be familiar with.

You know, Rob and I wrote Four Elements of Game together. And you know, we started going... Wait! Four Elements of Game. Similar to the Four Agreements. Similar to the Four Agreements. Oh, this is the four elements of game. The four elements.

Juicy, pussy, tushy, and sleepy. We developed a very, very, very close friendship. We started going out pretty much every day. Very close. Mmm. Now I was willingly going out. I loved Rob. He was a man and he smelled good.

He convinced me to buy Jump Digital Chain Cards with Bitcoin! Bitcoin! Everyone's saying it's incredible. I think, I think it's amazing. Three years and you know maybe like some of you guys, we studied some of that mystery method, we studied some of the other systems out there, we read a lot of these ebooks and we bought- I'm sorry, I'm picturing him and Rob. With a Kindle, sharing a Kindle. Yes, buckling down over the methods and studying. Yeah, we're studying, studying. We'd meet night after night after night and give each other

massages while we took turns reading to each other the mystery method mystery Mystery is like reading algebra. I've read some of that. It's way confusing His goal is just to confuse the fuck out of you So you pay him more money to try and explain it promises that like there's this magic line that you can say and you'll just Have girls bouncing off your dick, right? just have girls bouncing off your dick, right? I wanted a trampoline for a cock! Bouncing off your dick. Boo-ee-ee-ee-ing, oh! Ah! Boo-ee-ee-ee-ing, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- I sat there and I thought like holy shit like this is why I haven't been getting the results that I've wanted my whole life Right girls bounce off my dick. Girls bouncing off my balls

So I said hey best friend Rob you want to give it a try you want to bounce on the balls for a few minutes Just for practice just for practice put down the kindle it distracts me. I haven't been doing it right. So I guess at this point was, this was like the best and the worst thing that ever happened. After three years? Did he say three years? He did say after three years. He's a slow study. Okay. After three years. It took him three years to figure out it wasn't working.

It took him three years of my life to figure out it wasn't working. That's when I came up with my own method. Bitcoin! The reason that it's the best thing is because the one thing that I did take from this stuff was that, yeah, I might not be great with women, but there's a whole shitload of guys out there that- We could just cut that clip right there. Yeah, I might not be good with women, but there's a whole shitload of guys out there. We could just cut that clip right there. Yeah, it might not be good with women, but there's a whole shitload of guys out there. They're worse than me? Is that what he's going

to say? No, just cut the clip right there. I realize that not all that great with women, but there's a whole shitload of guys out there. Boo-yoo-yoo-yoo-yoo. Bitcoin. Every day are going out trying to figure out and improve their skills of meeting, dating, getting women attracted, turned on, whatever. So everything else that I took from it. That's why we came up with the four elements. That's why we came up with the four elements. Ballshaft shaft, anus, balls, shaft, anus, and nipples.

I now follow the four elements strictly. Nothing else works for me. I took five years to read all the others and I found the four elements. Girls had to get them attracted. All that stuff. I can honestly say standing on the stage today was absolute bullshit. Like, like a lot of that stuff. Nothing like calling out your fellow conventioneers. I know everybody else is.

Everyone else you've heard for is bullshit. Actually made it worse. And I went from a place where I could get girls that would come across my way to where girls would come across my way and I didn't like I would literally repel them and the reason that this would... Girls were literally bouncing off my dick, not on it, off it. Away from it. Away from it. Why do I find this hard to believe? And why do I just naturally find it hard to believe? Now I don't know Zach and I have no idea

what his level of game is, but why do I find it hard to believe that his general personality is probably not the first one that a gaggle of geese would run to, you know what I'm saying? Well, so he was getting the scraps. Yeah, he was getting the scraps. Now he's not even getting that.

Now I'm getting the crumbs, which is better than the scraps. After three years of hard study, made things worse. I was getting the scraps, now I'm getting the dog biscuits. My friend. It would be because, you know, rather than just be myself, and, you know, I know that that's like one of the biggest cliches ever, and, you know, we'll get, we'll talk about that and what that really means and, you know. I know that that's like one of the biggest cliches ever and you know, we'll get we'll talk about that And what that really means and you know, I can't talk about transforming yourself into yourself Okay, there's lots more to come. I promise this won't be too long or boring. We'll get to that later in our number three

Yeah in my fourth encore I'll tell you more about that. You guys can actually do this. Because I want to preface this by saying, there's a lot of other stuff out there where it's a lot of philosophy and a lot of feel-good stuff, but it doesn't actually tell you what to do when the girl's standing there in front of you so that she ends up in your bed. That's another- What are you going to do? Carry around your e-reader?

Excuse me when I consult Amazon Prime. The problem that we found with a lot of these dating guides and different systems was that it was so heavily focused on how to begin interactions and how to get girls giggling and laughing that it never really addressed the issue, which was why I wanted to get in this- Which was the bounce on the dick part. Yeah, which is the bounce on the dick part. was why I wanted to get in this in the first place. Which was the bounce on the dick part. Yeah, which is the bounce on the dick part. Get to that.

How do you bounce on my dick? Forget about her laughing or making her happy, anyway. By the way. Getting to know who she is. Just as a reference point, the last six or seven plots that we have talked about, have reviewed, have all said this exact same thing. No one ever tells you how to actually get the girls. They'll tell you all about how to open a set or whatever they say. But they never tell you how to get them actually in bed. So this guy is yet making another promise

that every other pro out there is making, which is the natural of, I got you in the fucking door to sit down at the 21 convention. Right? I know how to open a set. Yeah, I have the secrets. Opening a set is one thing. Anybody can say hello to anybody. How do you get them in bed? How do you get them literally bouncing on your shaft? That's what I want to know. Let's see if you've got the answers. To take girls home and have sex, right? I mean, is there any guy in here who has a different goal than that when it comes to meeting and dating girls?

I mean, I do. Thank God! It's like... I do. Who cares about the relationship? I want a loving relationship with someone who cares about who I really am. You're in the wrong place! Exactly. relationship with someone who cares about who I really am. You're in the wrong place. Exactly.

Like do you get like anyone in here who cares about how you open, how you build attraction, does anyone really care about that if it doesn't get you girls? All right. I heard a whole crowd reaction right there. I was literal dead silent. There is no one in this room. By the way, if you're listening to this, which you probably are, because no one watches this shit, if you're listening to this, then what you should know about this is there's one camera pointing to him on what I'm not even, I don't even think it's a stage. I think he's just standing at the front of a room, but it's showing none of the crowd. So we have

no idea how many people are in there, but it sounds like zero people are in there. Your question, has anybody in here about how to open or how to build attraction? Yeah, I was there too. Yeah, buddy. He goes, yeah, buddy. Yeah, I was there too. Okay. Wait. I want to hear that again. I look up the four elements of the game. That's my Oh, it's not available on your regular e-reader. No, it's not how to build attraction Yeah, buddy, I was there too like I spent a whole year wasting my time trying to do that stuff and Like I said, I bought in probably harder than anybody in this room into this myth that there were these guys out there that had this secret, you know, the secret routine stacker, you know, whatever you want to call it. They had these...

Routine stack, protein powder shake. ...lines and these special ways of doing things where they could pretty much go up to a girl who was with her husband, her fiance, and steal this girl off this guy's arm and run off into the sunset, right? And you know, is that true? Her husband? What is this guy talking about?

I don't know. Honestly, that really got me to where I am today because I would meet guys that, you know, maybe you guys have, you know, been on some of the internet forums and it's like, oh, this guy really, he's really good. He really knows what he's talking about. He's got a conch shell bracelet. He must know what he's talking about. He does, by the way, have a conch shell bracelet.

I've always wanted to wear one of those, but I guess I'm just a little shy. Oh, like you should have seen my friend. He's so good. So, you know, Rob and I were going out and we were spending... I have never been in a group of guys where another guy goes, you should see this guy. He's so good at picking up pussy. Never, never not once.

Who am I hanging around? Where do things go wrong for me? Why am I not involved in these conversations? I think a lot of time, like trying to meet these guys, trying to figure out what they were doing, what was working for them, so that we could, you know, do it ourselves, you know? It's pretty simple.

So whenever we'd meet up with these guys that were supposedly so good with women, we'd be watching them, and you know, like maybe like some of you guys, maybe you see some of us dating instructors and you see them and you hear us talk to you and you think in your head, you're dating instructors. What are you instructing?

You have that voice, like maybe this guy really doesn't know what he's talking about. Or maybe this guy doesn't really get the results that everybody thinks he's getting. And the fact is is that when we started meeting these guys, it was really hard to fight that truth that we were feeling inside. That like, what these guys are doing does not feel congruent to who I am.

And I also don't see it working very well when I meet up with them. Wow, he's really endearing himself to the other applause here. At least he's calling them out, I guess. With these guys expecting to be blown away, and these guys would give me excuses about why they couldn't approach, about why it wasn't the right time, about some kind of social value or some, they had a thousand different ways to rationalize it. So Rob and I realized that this is bullshit. So are there groups?

Yeah. Going back to the groups? Yeah. Going back to the groups of guys, so are there, like, Rob and Zach would go meet up with these guys based on other people saying they're good? And then you'd meet up with the guys and then the guys wouldn't be able to perform? I think, yes. No pun intended. They need Wi-Fi 3000.

I think that a lot of these so-called dating coaches, pickup artists, whatever you want to call them, they are just charlatans. They have no idea how to pick up a woman like John Anthony Lifestyle, who literally pays women sex workers to be in his videos, according to everybody on the internet who knows anything about John Anthony. But what they say is that then when you get to these courses where you pay tens of thousands of dollars to see them in real life, they tell you to do all of the work, but they always have an excuse as to why they can't do the work. And then, you know, what is his name?

I'm picturing like nightclubs where this is going down. There are videos of this. There are videos of this where they like take videos of themselves out there in the wild. What's his name? Adam the liar, Adam Lyons. Adam Lyons has a perfect excuse. He's married not once, but to two women or something like that. So he's always using that excuse as to why he can't go out and pick up these sets.

But what he's saying, actually, now I'm with Zach on this point, is like all these guys who are preaching this material and writing it down and selling you books and expensive courses and one-on-one coaching, they can't do it themselves. Because those who can't teach, that's what goes on. And this is the same thing in the real estate industry, same thing in the investment industry. Those who can't teach. That's what they do. They make it sound like they know what the fuck they're talking about. They charge you tens of thousands of dollars to get you the knowledge that they have from many years of experience. The truth is they didn't make money in the real estate industry and that's why they're teaching. It's because they don't really know

how to do it or they would be out there making millions more dollars without bothering with one-on-one coaching calls at 7.15 on a fucking Wednesday night. That's what the truth is. All right, we got more of this. Let's take a break. We'll be back. We're not a real podcast if we're not plugging our Instagram, right? That's right, honey. So follow us on Instagram at the commercial break. And don't you forget TikTok at TCB Podcasts so you can see Brian and Chrissy on your homepage every day, which I know you're just simply desperate for. And if you want to see us in person, guess what?

You finally can because we're coming to Florida because only Florida would let TCB come there. Just kidding. Kind of. You can come see us at Dania Beach Improv on Tuesday, September 24th and at the Funny Bone Orlando on Wednesday, September 25th. Yeah, I know you want to come to both days. That's right. Anyway, the links to both of those are in our show notes. So go get them, get your tickets and then tell us that you're coming by texting us at 212-433-3822.

And if there's anything else you need from us, I am sure you can find it on our website, tcvpodcast.com. Live, laugh, love. Bye. All right. We're back with Zach Bauer, who is one of the guys that's behind the Trump, the new Trump digital altcoin trading platform, whatever it is. And he's up until, I guess he got roped in with this Trump thing. He was a plot, a pickup artist. And he's teaching us- Another type of scammer.

Another, yes, exactly. another type of scammer. Another. Yes, exactly. Another type of scammer. There's got like, we know guys that are far superior with women that are not in this dating advice community. Of course they aren't. Do you think they have time to waste actually getting women? They're actually out there socializing.

Being a normal person. They don't want to teach you how to do it. They want to do it themselves. They're good at it. We went out, we started hanging out with these guys, putting a lot of focus into what we were doing and what they were doing. Along the way, we started getting great results and we started teaching programs. We started getting guys out on live programs and this is really where Date Hotter Girls

got its start. People would go through other- Date Hotter Girls got its-. People would go through other- Date Hotter Girls got its- Yeah, it's a legendary book. It's a legendary book. It's probably a website, DateHotterGirls.com. Programs, and they would realize that they were taught a lot of stuff about how to begin interactions, a lot of stuff how to do these silly handshakes to build what people are

calling Keno, and all this stuff to- Keno? Keno? It's a game I used to play at the Rusty Nail what people are calling Keno and you know all this stuff. Keno? It's a game I used to play at the Rusty Nail. I know. Keno. I know. A handshake called the Keno? Oh, the Keno.

Oh, I know that handshake. The old Keno handshake is where the bartender takes $5 and I never see it again. Right? But no one was teaching them how to close the deal. No one is going out there and showing guys, if you expect this girl to have sex with you, you can't be doing these things that you've been doing before you ask her to go home with you. Like, what girl is going to want to go home with the guy?

I mean, I think Nick was talking about this a bit. What girl is going to go home with the guy that can't shut up and just look at her and hold strong eye contact, right? Now, not to say- Oh, do you feel my strong eye contact? Oh, you want to feel something stronger? Got some Y Brian 3000 boner broth at the house. Good for clitoral stimulation. He just rub it right on the vag. I necessarily agree with everything that Nick said, but at the same time, that stuff is pretty on point as far as-

I don't necessarily agree with everything Nick said, who was the speaker before him. Wow. Yeah. Go at him, bud. Get him. Wow, yeah, go at him bud, get him. He's unassuming but he's got balls. He's standing up there wrecking the paw industry. Meanwhile, he's also a paw. So we've yet to get to one meat and potatoes item he has. Real and have a true effect.

And the fact is like now I'm gonna take it back and tell you a little bit, tell you an embarrassing story about where I was with this. A couple of- Bitcoin! And the fact is, now I'm going to take it back and tell you an embarrassing story about where I was with this. A couple of years ago. Bitcoin! I picture him in an alleyway. I picture him at mommy's and daddy's house in the basement.

The $20,000 Rolex. A couple years ago, I was at a bar with Rob. This was maybe three and a half years ago or so. I was at a bar with Rob. This was maybe three and a half years ago or so. I was at a bar with Rob You know, we were just starting to like, you know get a reputation and the fact of the matter was I get a reputation with whom Look out for these creepies. Yeah, look out for these asshats. They're writing a book All the four ways to Erection or something.

I don't know. I was not that good with women. Guys were looking at me and asking me questions and for advice. I gave it to them, but the fact was I knew that I hadn't had those. I knew it was bullshit. I knew. I didn't know the first fucking thing. I said something.

I said, hey, I don't know. Buy him a drink. Moments that you guys think that I had had. I wasn't living those crazy fantasies that I believe that all these pickup instructors were living. And so I knew in my heart that something wasn't right. I knew in my heart, something wasn't right. I knew in my heart. I knew in my heart. This wasn't right. These poise, manipulating women into sleeping with them, wasn't right.

So I decided to start my own manipulation techniques that worked more effectively. It's the whole thing. And this smoking hot blonde, she walks into the bar and she's with this huge Jack guy that speaks French. Like this guy, no homo, he's super good looking. No homo? What is that? No homo, no cry. This Jack guy speaking French. He's speaking French, no homo. No homo, no schlomo. What?

What is going on? There's some secret language I'm not in on. No homo. Meanwhile, you and Rob just spent the last three and a half years together reading ebooks. Study is late at night. Study night after night. Some homo, no homo, some homo. She's real charming and you know we all just kind of start talking. So I look at this blonde girl and I start talking to her right? I mean this girl was literally

like everything you could imagine. She was like taller than me even. So she was like 6'1", plus she had heels on. I don't think taller than you at 6'1", is like a huge accomplishment. Talk like she's like 6'10". She was like made up to the nine, like, you know, platinum blonde hair, like boobs pushed up, you know, up into her face pretty much. And, you know, I just, I got that feeling like, oh, like, yeah, that's that girl. Like, that's the one that like I've been doing this for. Like I can't wait. Oh, yeah. Oh, my work has come to this moment right now. This is where all the hard

work comes in first and goal. What are we going to do here? I got the ball coach, put me in. To her, you know, and I had this delusion that all this stuff that I've been learning until this point was gonna somehow get me this hot girl when she was in front of me. So what happens right? I look at her. I make eye contact. I smile. Smart, smart, smart. I like where you're going with this Zach. You're calling the right play buddy. Look at her. Talk to her. It's risky risky But you don't you lose a hundred percent of the chances you don't take no buddy She smiles and I say hey, what's your name? You got it?

Say hey, what's your name? We're almost there! I'd say, hey, what's your name? He's calling a dangerous play here, Hoadly. He looked at her? He asked her name. He looked at her, eye contact, talked to her, said, hey, what's your name? Tells me her name, and from there I'm like, oh yeah, like this might be on. I think I have it. This might be on! I got her name and from there. I'm like oh, yeah like this like this might be on like I think I have this Might be on I got her name

This might be on dude Bouncing on my dick later I Got a half half hard. I know I'm in I'm in she's with the no homo French guy we're all going back home for a little jackhammer and bouncing right so what do I do I go into the fucking bullshit pickup material that I've been reading on the internet can you hold on one second? What's your name? Christina? Hold on one second

I gotta refer to my e-reader and I'll be back Tell her about my stripper ex-girlfriend how she stole my Maserati and Picked me up from the airport in a stolen Maserati and how we got arrested and what you know, I mean what? What oh this was a story that someone told at the 21 convention we reviewed this my god were they that you make this up the story yes to make it sound like you're super hot and everybody wants you and maybe this story sounds familiar maybe you guys have read this one on the internet you know and the fact is is that the second I started saying this,

it all fell to shit. Well, yeah. What's your name? Oh, okay, Christina. Hey, Christina, let me tell you about my stripper ex-girlfriend who... Stole my Maserati. ...Maserati and then picked me up in it. In my own stolen Maserati. Yeah, at the airport. And we got arrested. I couldn't prove that I owned it since it was mine, but then I got arrested. The story makes

no sense whatsoever. You're a dumb dumb. And by the way, that story is on the internet. We've reviewed this before. And if you're using somebody else's story, you run the risk that someone else has heard it. Jared Sautner I mean, like, you have a stripper ex-girlfriend, and I'm like, no, no, no, I swear I really don't. Right? Because what, who wants a guy with a stripper ex-girlfriend? And I'm like, no, no, no, I swear I really don't, right? Because who wants a guy with a stripper ex-girlfriend that's gonna brag? Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on. You tell her this story, and then she asks you. And she calls you. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I was just trying out some plaw material on you. I'm writing a book. It's called The Four Dating Elements of Failure.

That's not what a girl wants. Nick was talking about this a little bit like you have to give girls the experience that they want if you're gonna Successfully take them from a stranger to back to your room and having sex and I'm not gonna lie to you It's it's not easy right so that's why you know You really need to be creating an experience and leading it in a very, very succinct way and not give yourself much room to really mess up. And if you do mess up, because the fact is, is that this happens all the time. And I'll get into this when I start giving you guys exactly what I- In hour number five of my promised short speech.

Every time when I see a girl that I want, the fact is that you have to understand that you are going to mess up. There is no perfection. And the difference between what Rob and I came to understand and what everyone else that's out there on the internet and the stuff that you guys have already been reading. The main difference is that, you know, when it comes to this pick-up material,

I'm sure you guys can relate, right? It's all predicated on giving you the perfect line so that you never mess up, so that you never fuck up, right? So that you always have the perfect thing to say, right? I mean, does this sound right? Tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. It's literally not another human being in the room. Yeah?

You got me? Yeah. Cool, bro. I'm listening. If not, like, let me know. But I mean, this is what we found. All of this material is predicated on, I'm going to tell you exactly what to say and it will work in every situation.

Now, the fact of the matter is that that's all wrong. What Rob and I realized, and when we went from a place where we were having trouble getting girls to a place where girls were basically suggesting that we go home together. I love it. I think this could... Oh, here he goes. The four elements.

Oh, the four elements. Works every time. The difference was, was that we weren't playing to avoid those rejections, okay? This is really important. What we were doing was we were playing for the wins. And the difference between this is the old numbers game. Yeah, the old numbers game here. You're saying the same thing these other guys say, we're not playing for the losses. We're

playing for the wins. Well, who is playing for the losses? You jackhole? Which guy? Which dude is looking for the rejection? That we weren't saying to girls worried about whether or not it was going to mess up. We were saying things to girls with the hope that it would go well. Okay? That's a good theory. That's a great premise to get out the door with. Hey, man, let's think on the positive side.

We could get made tonight instead of last night we went out the door and we're like, most likely going to go home and help each other whack off. But at least we have our e-readers. ...of what I'm going to be talking about and the system that I'm going to be giving you guys. The first and most important piece of what it is that we're teaching right now and what it is that we're teaching right now, you know, how much money you have or whatever, there's going to be friction in an interaction, right? I mean, that's just how it is.

If there's no friction in an interaction, then you have absolutely no emotional connection with this girl. Wait, if there's no friction, then you have no emotional connection. I never had any friction with Astrid when we were married. I was trying to think, yeah,

it wasn't the big friction. The only friction that Chrissy had in her first interaction was Brian being there and Jeff wondering when he was going to leave. I asked you guys to leave. I was the friction. I was the sand in the engine. Interactions going absolutely nowhere. And the thing that's funny is, maybe many of you guys can relate, if you're already

out there, you're already talking to women, it's really easy to do well when the girls in front of you laughing and everything's going well. How many guys have felt that? It's like the girl's with you, it's kind of on, and you kind of know what to do from there. But it's the times when things are going tough. The times when the girl's not necessarily. You will like me. You will You like me look at my eye contact

strong rigid Captivating yes are my eyes bulging. I'm sorry if that's a bit creepy But I went out the door today said I, I'm not going to lose this one, Brian. This is damage control. This is damage control. ... having a great reaction to what it is that you're saying, where you have the opportunity

to demonstrate who you are and also take control of the interaction and lead it back to a place that's conducive for you and her ending up in your bed together at the end of the night. I'm with the first part of the sentence. Like, I'm with Zach on some of the stuff he says, but then he always has some bonehead interjection. Like, that's conducive. You got to bring it back to a place where it's organic for you and then take control so you end up in your bed later on that night.

I'll be here all week. Okay. take control so you end up in your bed later on that night. Yeah, that that that that that. I'll be here all week. Okay. So the fact is, is that when I go to approach a girl, it doesn't matter. I'm not looking for what you like what you guys are probably like think I'm looking for. Right. I'm not looking to get a positive. We know what you're looking for. You're looking for a big boobs up to her chin. A no homo boyfriend you can steal her from. No homo.

You're laughing. The only thing, and this is the first step of what I'm going to give you, which is our phara system, which is basically like... A pharid system? I think he said phara. Phara system? Are we going to heat it up? I have Theraflu. I have Thera patches. I have Thera cream. I've been using a lot of that lately. That Rob and I are doing right now.

And this was basically what we learned we were doing after watching about a hundred or so hours of infield footage of ourselves. Infield footage? Where. Infield footage? Where are you doing this? Kamiski Park? Are you at Wrigley? What, it sounds like an infield fly roll. I got infield footage.

Oh my god, a hundred hours of infield footage. They were filming themselves interacting with women and trying stuff out for a 100 hours and then studying it? Yes. Sounds like how I torture Christina with 100 hours a week of the commercial break. I realized yesterday we might want to add mental health services on top of our insurance. Oh, God damn, man. Well, that's the guy. that's the guy pulling the strings with

Trump's new Altcoin project. Listen there's more to come from this guy I have a feeling we'll be listening to more of Zach. I mean listen some of this I'm like okay I kind of see what you're saying but you got to follow it up with something a little less shitty. A little less shitty. Yeah, yeah. A little less shitty. This is hilarious though. Oh my gosh, this is funny, I like it. All right, let me tell you, Chrissy and I are gonna be at Dania Improv

in Dania Beach, Florida on the 24th of September, and we're gonna be at the Bone on the 25th. I will let you know that there are ticket brokers that are selling commercial break tickets out there. Yeah. I can let you know that there are ticket brokers that are selling commercial break tickets out there. Yeah. I can promise you that they're still available for the actual ticket, face value ticket, excuse me, the face value of the ticket on the website for especially that Orlando show. Don't go to no ticket brokerage, you're just going to get ripped off.

You can find the links to buy the tickets in the show notes right here on our website, on our Instagram, and you can just go to the venue itself. The Funny Bone Orlando and the Dania Improv at Dania Beach, Florida, 24th and 25th. Please come see us. We would love to see you. And if you're going to be there. Let us know. 212-433-3822. That's 212-433-3822. Text us questions, comments, concerns, content ideas. Ask TCB. You know how to do it. Do it via text message. Do it via voicemail. However you do it, just do it. Don't do it. Collect. We'll pick up the charges. Oh yeah. Also, TCBpodcast.com. Again, you can buy the tickets on our website. There's a link to buy the tickets on our website. Get your free sticker. Hit the contact us button, drop down menu. I want my free sticker. Give us your address and away it'll go. At the commercial break on Instagram, please follow us. YouTube.com slash the commercial

break for all of our interviews, selected shows and clips. Okay, Chrissy, I guess that's all I can do for today. I think so. But I'll tell you that I love you. I'll say best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time, Chrissy and I always say, we do say and we must say, goodbye. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy.

I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy.

I'm gonna be a good boy. I'm gonna be a good boy. Thanks for watching!