The Commercial Break - The United States of Scat
Episode Date: October 2, 2023Absolutely nobody asked Wild Bill to pronounce himself a professor in poop, the king of scat, the #1 scat-ologist in the United States...but here we are...and Bryan & Krissy are here to guide us throu...gh it. Mempho & Jim James Graceland Fluffernutter Cracker Barrel and Olive Garden DRAMA Bryan’s son is a big boy! He knows all about the rodecaster We cant go wrong with mountain monsters The silver giant A stripe from dick to chin Sk** wa***** Why are they always yelling?! Science, baby! A professor in poop The #1 scat-ologist in the US of A They need the full moon for their spells, obviously Bear cunt! LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us at: 1.855.TCB.8383 Call 626.ASK.TCB3 and leave us a voicemail Speak to TCB LIVE by calling 775.TCB.LIVE (1.775.822.5483) Tuesday-Thursday 12pm-5pm EST Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Written By: Bryan Green Exec Producers: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Content Production & Research: Tina Khano YouTube Producer & Editor: Morgan Please Producer & Audio Editor: Christina A. Executive Director: Astrid B. Associate Producer: Gustavo Episodic Contribution: Marianne, Diane, Natalie, Will The Champ, Will D**
Transcript
Discussion (0)
But what is your level of self care at the man from?
What's your morning and nighttime regime?
Get out.
Um, go downstairs, Lou gets the kids ready, I take them to school.
Right.
I have a coffee and I immediately get off to the coffee.
As if like, it once is touched my lips, I've basically got to stop putting my trousers down.
I have my sh** normally, it's normally awful, my diet's all over the place.
Sometimes it makes you so it's...
I love it, that's not right, but I've got got time to think you can't get a doctor's appointment.
Then I probably try it's up. Can we head back to show for it?
Do you ever get that? You can wash up and there. It's that last he's screaming for ill.
On this episode of the commercial break...
I'm the number one skatologist! Excuse me!
I'm a number two skatologist!
I have been certified by the United States Skat Association, the OSAP!
I can literally determine the color, length, and size of anything based on its shit!
The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
I gotta get some coke!
I'm gonna create it!
Ah, yeah, get the kids' hook effects of the commercial break!
I'm Brian Green, this is the director of Pharmaceutical Services,
Chris and Joy, totally. Best of you, Chris here.
Best of you, Brian.
And best of you out there on the podcast universe.
No matter how you got here, from which way you took it,
like I tell my kids, or many different ways to get to one place,
you came here, we certainly appreciate it.
Like, I also tell my kids, after they ask the inevitable,
why?
I say, because I told you so.
But why? I don't want
you to worry about it. I never hear another why in my life that's fine with me.
Chrissy you're getting ready to go to Mempho. Yeah. What's the excitement? What's the
word? What's the latest and greatest? Tell us. We're gonna give our 15 minutes of free
air time to Jeff and Mempho right now. Tickets still available? They are. Tickets are still available for.
This is a big festival.
Yes.
And Mimphus, Tennessee, we've got Black Crow's Plane.
Oh, what do you like me some Black Crow's?
Or Plane one night, they're headlining the front end.
The brothers are gonna manage to hold it together
for one minute so they can collect a check
from the Mimpo people and the good people at Mimpo.
Yeah.
I think so.
My morning jacket.
My morning jacket.
Oh, there's no.
That's good stuff.
Withering flower, whatever you call it,
will take Lily.
Yeah.
My morning jacket used to be the best ticket in town.
Still might be, I don't know,
I've been years as I've seen him.
I saw him last year, they were really good.
Yeah, they're so good.
So good. So moody and year, they were really good. Yeah, they're so good. So good.
So moody and effective.
Yeah.
Moody, but harmonic, like you get it,
there are chord progressions that make sense.
It's really, I'm gonna get into some I morning jacket.
Oh yeah, for sure.
They're like on the, I don't know.
I think they're like on the radio head side of things,
but maybe a little bit easier to listen to.
No, yeah.
A little bit more guitar, a little bit more rocky.
I like Jim James.
Jim James, who doesn't like Jim James?
I know.
Whatever he's saying, I'm in here.
Exactly.
Whatever he says, I agree.
Whatever Jim James is singing about, I'm right there with him.
Uh-huh.
I'm a major the way I love you.
Me too, Jim.
I'm a major to think I do.
Yeah, I agree.
I'm amazed at some other things I thought about.
All right, Jim James.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do love me, so Jim James, who else is a dinosaur
juniors playing?
Dinosaur juniors playing.
Ween is playing.
I don't know if you know yourself some ween.
I do know ween.
I mean, I don't know personally.
I have installing beer from there.
No, not yet.
Backstage trailer.
Not yet.
It's still time.
Can I get up to a phone and get in that ween trailer?
But I do know dinosaur junior.
Love me some dinosaur junior.
I mean, you know, when I was a 15 year old kid
skating around, nowhere, because I don't skate.
I just do the dinosaur junior.
Wasn't all the cool skate videos.
Yeah.
That's all I know.
So that Jay Mascus, he is one talented guitar player.
Wow, what a lineup Jeff Scott going on this year.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
It's getting progressively better, I feel like.
I mean, no knock on widespread panic.
But, you know, you could see widespread
at many different locations and many different times.
But when you pull together black crows,
my morning jacket, dinosaur junior,
all on one stage.
Band of horses.
Band of horses.
Where did they go?
They sang that one song I liked.
I know.
That one song.
And by the way, the reason why I dislike band of horses now
is because fucking Apple CarPlay,
that was one of the songs that was going
for years on my Apple CarPlay. What was that song the songs that was going for years on my Apple CarPlay.
What was that song they did?
I don't know, that one about love.
But yeah, the band of horses, okay.
All right.
Good for show.
Yeah, it's all, there's many more too, but.
Memphofest.com, you can get your tickets.
It's happening this weekend.
So you need to get your tickets now
if you're in the Memphis area
or you'd like to go to Memphofest.com.
The Memphis is a fun town too.
It kind of gets more than a bad rap but.
I do think it gets a bad rap.
I think it's a bad rap as being a place where there's
a lot of violence and it's not a safe town but I've
been to Memphis a lot and I've seen a number of
concerts there and I have always found it to be a
very lovely and pleasant city.
I've never found anything, anything less than.
Me too, me too.
Bad stuff happens everywhere.
Yeah.
Let's face it.
Listen, we're different fucking Atlanta judges.
Huge city.
There's lots of shit that goes down here.
Yes.
But you know, you take the good, you take the bad.
Number one, number two, like just because there is violence or thing bad things happening in one city,
doesn't mean the whole city is...
A lot of history there.
Yeah. A lot of history there.
Yeah tons of history.
Rock and roll history.
Yeah.
So isn't that guy what's the guy doing?
Lou's Rock and Roll.
Is an Elvis somewhere around there?
Yeah Elvis.
Is it Memphis?
You have your bend to the.
Grace land there.
You're a big Grace land.
You know, I've been I've driven by Grace.
I think what was it was that I had planned last year
when I went I was like I'm I'm going to go to Graceland.
That's crazy.
Maybe.
I would love to go to Graceland, but somehow it's just, it's a little bit further away from
the city for one, and it's not down in the mix of kind of everything where you can walk
around and go to different spots.
Yeah, but it's Graceland.
It is Graceland.
Yeah, I mean, I think so.
I think it's not Lisa Marie can be buried there now too.
She is too.
I assume that would make sense.
Yeah, but I've thought about going, but it is quite the destination.
I mean, you need to get tickets early and kind of go out there and plan to do it for a
little while.
Isn't it like a very popular destination too?
Very.
Yeah.
Isn't it like you can some days you can't get tickets.
I hear about Graceland.
I don't know why I heard that, but somebody told me
I had a trouble getting tickets.
I've never been to Graceland either.
I would like to go though.
You know, as I get older, my interest in Elvis raises,
not lowers.
I was not, while always a big rock and roll fan,
I was always more into like really the authentic,
I mean like the blues, like the actual blues,
like John Lee Hooker and Chicago blues
and Memphis style blues.
I wasn't all that interested in Elvis,
but as I've gotten older, my interest in Elvis
has grown just a little bit.
I wouldn't mind going to, to go see where those banana
and marshmallow.
Right, the peanut butter.
Sanwiches were made peanut butter and marshmallow.
Yeah, the peanut butter.
Is it peanut butter, banana and marshmallow
or something like that?
That's exactly.
My mom used to make that.
Remember that fluffer nutter?
That fluffer nutter?
Fluffer, whatever you call it.
Yes.
My first experience with a fluffer was with a peanut butter
and marshmallow sandwich that my mom for probably four years.
That's what we got in our lunch.
Lunch. Every single day.
Every single day, Chrissy. Without fail, fluff or notter or fluff or whatever you call it fluff.
I'm not even sure what it's called. Fluff and peanut butter together which is a great combination
until I started getting cavities in my teeth and then I think we were like the we were the
bellow the ball when it came to school lunches. Oh, yeah, everybody wanted to have a bite of the fluffer nutter
And I used to say I don't share my fluffer nutter with nobody
and
When I started getting cavities then all of a sudden it was like baloney and cheese sandwich
Which is weren't as good. I'm sorry. Sorry mom
I know you did that with love every day, but it just wasn't as good. No, my mom used to write notes on
I used to get the the brown paper bag. Did write notes on, I used to get the brown paper bags.
Did you get that?
I used to get the brown paper bags
and some other kids had lunch boxes
and I was really upset about that.
I just, all I wanted was like a Super Mario Brothers lunchbox.
But my mom and dad just didn't find it
to be the right fit for us children.
So instead, they used a brown paper bag, a new one,
every single day for the entirety of our schooling,
which made absolutely no fucking sense, but whatever.
It's on them.
So then we had this brown bag with grease stains
all on the bottom of it, carrying it around all day long.
It was awful, awful.
And then I don't know if you know,
but a baloney and cheese sandwich after five or six hours
of sitting in some locker somewhere,
just heating up because of the smell.
Yeah, the smell, taste the sights the sounds
It doesn't make me opine for the old days. That's for sure
But hey listen on like to wrap this up
I do hope that you and Jeff and everybody at memfo have a great
You came you and answered came the one year and we did
We did we came we saw we stood there was that like our first year that we were doing the show
I think it was our first full year after we did the show. Yeah, we had the sign. Oh, no
Yeah, you maybe you're right. I think it was the first year because we were trying to get the word out and we were gonna go
Get the word out about the show
Interviews and all of that well no, he can't they canceled, right? Yes. Okay, so it was 2021 that we went.
Yeah. We started the show in 2020,
so we did the 2021 version,
because I do remember that we were,
there was a lot of questions about whether or not
we should wear masks, right?
And so I remember it, listen,
the concert itself, fantastic time,
had a great time, the music wonderful.
Trying to do a live show of the commercial break
from five feet in front of the stage, not so great.
Why?
Because I'm not gonna win that battle of sound.
It just was never going to happen.
The wall of sound or Brian's dinky little plastic microphone,
it wasn't gonna work.
The shitty part about that was,
the shitty part about the trip to Memphis
and us taking all of our stuff up there
and being prepared to do some recording there
is that we actually got really funny interviews for people.
Yeah, you got that.
The problem was all of the noise in the background
made it so obnoxious that I just couldn't play it.
It was like at times you could hear what they were saying
and at times you couldn't
because we were interviewing like real people
and they had no fucking clue what they were signing up for.
I think I was telling people I was with CNN at one point.
I'm like, I'm with CNN.
You know, Frankie B is who?
We were giving away our first stickers.
That was the first time we made the stickers.
And I'll tell you what, this just goes to show you.
You know, I always feel like I want to pat myself on the back,
like give us a big pat on the back
when we get all these requests for stickers,
but there's something that I learned at Memfo.
It is that anybody will take anything for free,
no matter what.
Even if people hate the fucking show,
they're gonna write in for their free sticker.
Why?
Because it's free,
because we're sending it to them for free.
What they're gonna do with it, I don't know.
And then you have some people that are actually
sticking them on the back of the car?
I know.
That's insane.
Wow. I don't know what to think. I know. That's insane. Wow.
I don't know what to think.
I don't know if I compliment you or say, what are you thinking?
I'm not really sure.
But there are what would Frankie do, 21 EPM and original guitar pick stickers out there
on people's cars.
It's amazing.
We're really going to come up with a good one for our next one.
I know we better come up quick because we're out of the old ones
And we want some people request the new one so we'll get we'll let you know when we have that design. I was reading an article
you know
There are a couple of places
Where the kids like to go and I mean younger folks, right? And then there are a couple of places
I'm talking about dining places and then there's dining places that the old folks like to go.
And if we know anything about old folks
is that they like a good bang for their buck, right?
They like fluffers also.
They like a good bang for their buck.
And there are a couple of places
where traditionally seniors in the restaurant industry
have gotten that bang for the buck.
That is like an old country buffet,
a buffet style place, all you can eat, whatever.
Cracker barrel and olive garden. Yeah, bottomless salads, bottomless bread. Listen, you cannot beat
a bottomless diarrhea pasta to save your life. Let me read you this article I read.
Seniors have stopped eating at Cracker barrel, Olive Garden, and it's not clear when or
if they'll come back.
Retirees have lost their appetite for Cracker Barrel and Olive Garden since the pandemic,
and it's not clear when they're coming back according to the chain's top brass.
No amount of biscuits and gravy or unlimited pasta refills seem to be enough to entice
the 65 and older crowd as they continue to pinch pennies amid high inflation and ducking the coronavirus. This is according to Rick
Cardenas, the chief executive of garden restaurants, also known at all who also owns all of garden.
So they basically people scattered during the pandemic, their main source of revenue,
the 65 and older crowd scattered during the, and they have not come back.
And now these two restaurant chains are really concerned that they could be in some financial trouble if they don't get these older folks to come back.
Yeah.
I, you couldn't pay me to step into an Olive Garden and have food there.
I'm sorry. I know that there are plenty of people that like it. It's not for me.
I have never had a good experience at Olive Garden as far as the food is concerned.
I literally ended up on the toilet
for like three days one time after I had there,
whatever they called it.
They called it carbonara.
I'm not sure what kind of egg was on top of it,
but I'm pretty sure it had wings.
It was gross.
It was fucking disgusting.
You okay over there?
You just stop for a hiccup break.
I had a really bad experience with it one two and now I just won't go back.
There's too many other choices.
Way too many other choices.
Yeah.
And we have an Olive Garden like spitting distance from our house.
Why is there?
I have no idea.
It's been there forever and ever since I can remember.
But we have it and I swear on a Saturday or a Sunday you cannot get into that place.
Really?
There are lines out the door every time.
And I understand getting a good bargain for your buck,
but I can't understand all the diarrhea
that you get afterwards.
That's what I can't understand.
The food is not delicious at all of garden.
I'm sorry, it's just not.
And there's no amount of free bread and salad
that's gonna get me there.
Plus, what exactly is in the salad and in the bread?
I mean, I worked in an Italian restaurant and I know what goes on in the Italian restaurant.
We would make the croutons out of bread that was not eaten from tables.
Oh, wow.
That is five kinds of illegal and disgusting altogether.
But the...
But Artino, Venturi, knows better.
That's just put them in the oven, Brian.
What are you complaining about?
I'm pretty sure that a baby threw up on these.
Eh, send them about the organic glass.
Sikos, tell them everything will be okay.
Okay, you want me to send them red bleach to the table
to make up for all the throw up on their croutons?
Then, Chovies, don't forget about the anchovies, Brian.
Don't forget about the anchovies. I didn't forget about the anchovies Brian don't forget about the anchovies
I didn't forget about the anchovies what has happened to our computer
For the you can't see this and you know it not even if you watch it on YouTube
But all of a sudden our camera angle just went wonky and it's got like a real close-up of me
What is that what is going on? And there's a white box.
Yeah, it's probably telling us it's time to call it a day.
Call it a show.
DCB.
We love you.
400 episodes out and done.
Like drop.
Mike drop.
Mike drop from like two inches above the floor.
Like, wink. Hold on, let two inches above the floor like blink.
Oh, though, let's see if I can fix this.
There we go.
There we go.
Now everyone can see us again.
Yeah, listen, there's, I don't understand why the seniors
ever like these places in the first place.
I guess it's better than with the slop that are getting
at the retirement home, I suppose.
But my mom lives in a retirement home,
the food is actually good.
Exactly, my grandfather does too.
Yeah.
The food is actually good.
I've been there, they give my mom
like these free coupons to have friends over at dinner,
and so you can go in there and have dinner with her lunch.
And you can, I don't know, she gets like
10 of them in a month or something like that.
And so we go in there, and occasionally
we have had lunch or dinner there.
And the food is not that bad.
It's like cruise ship food.
I would, that's a good equivalent, I think.
cruise ship food.
It's not that bad.
It's certainly better than Olive Garden.
And forget about it.
I don't even know about Cracker Barrel.
What goes on at a Cracker Barrel?
I know the crazy thing is I used to love Cracker Barrel,
but now I haven't been to one now and a long time.
Only time I went to Cracker Barrel was that time that I got kicked out because my
friend was with us.
Who was the new Gingrich?
The speaker of the house.
Was the speaker of the house at this time.
Yeah, like this is so long ago, right?
We were just kids.
We had a long night and we had two strippers with us because the two strippers were girls that we were dating at the time
Me and my friend were dating these two strippers
We go to Cracker Barrel at like nine in the morning not because we want breakfast
But because we want dinner before we go to bed. You know what I'm saying?
Right. So we're there. We are
Wacked out of our heads no idea what's going on and they sit us in the middle of the restaurant about five or ten minutes after we get into the restaurant a
Group of people come to a larger table that has been set up next to us and everyone's in suits and everyone's looking nice and
There are guys with you know black blazers on black ties
Some of them have sung glasses like something street secret service right out of the movie
Huh because when you are the speaker of the house,
you get secret service protection.
Right.
Your third in line to the presidency, right?
Second in line to the presidency, really.
So, the guy that I'm with quickly realizes who exactly is at the table next door
because he kept up with shit like that.
As far as I'm concerned, I don't know who that was.
I mean, if it wasn't Eddie Vetter from Pearl Jam, I wouldn't know this guy, right?
But he says, Hey man, there's a new gingrich right next to us.
And I was like, Who?
New gingrich.
To speak of the house, the third line of the presidency, I'm like, who?
I don't fucking know.
I don't know what you're talking about.
And he says, it's new fucking gingrich.
And if I had an opportunity, I'd stick a fork in that guy's eye.
Well, we got kicked out of that cracker barrel.
So quick our headspin. They heard that. They heard we got kicked out of that Cracker Barrel. So quick our head spin.
They heard that.
They heard it, right?
And they asked us to leave.
We had just gotten our food.
They, I think they allowed us to take a couple more bites of food,
but then we were politely asked to leave.
Oh, sure, now.
I think they actually asked us to move to a different table
and what happened is we just ended up leaving
because they paid for our meal.
But that's my only experience with Cracker Barrel.
And so I could not tell you what Cracker Barrel tastes like.
I have no idea.
It's Cracker Barrel good.
Growing up in the South, yeah, we used to go as a family
a lot when I was younger.
They had the little game at the table
and they have all the things.
There's like a whole shop associated with it.
I do remember a shop.
Whether it's games.
There's games out there and the crafty things and whatever and so you can kind of
Mill around while you're waiting on your table and you know how pretty good food
I remember but then I just I stopped going and I haven't been back
Ladies and gentlemen the president of the United States and Brian with two strippers
We used to eat on the road The president of the United States and Brian with two strippers.
We used to eat it on the road.
I was president. I was president.
I could only imagine what we would have looked like.
You used to eat it on the road,
you'd pick it up and get it and take it on the road.
No, we were traveling.
Oh, okay, you would stop there.
That's what I thought they were known for.
They were known for being those places where like everybody,
like the truckers and stuff would stop,
or you're on a road trip and you stop,
and go there, you have a nice bike.
Yeah, and they have all the chairs out front
that make it look friendly.
Yeah, didn't they put out like an LGBTQ thing once,
and then everybody got all upset with them?
Maybe, yeah, I think they did.
I think maybe Cracker Barrel's got
different problems on their hands.
I think they're being, you know,
prostilatized by some bullshit, but um I I
Honestly could care less of all of Garden win away. Oh, yeah, yeah, no for sure
Someone knocking at the door
Who's knocking at the door? I don't have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to Kids came in here and completely wiped this roadcaster that basically controls the entire show.
I barely understand how to use this thing in the first place.
But.
Hey, dad, listen, about that rule you have in the studio,
you know, the one where you say don't touch any of the buttons,
I took it upon myself to touch all the buttons
indiscriminately many times.
And you know what happened?
I think I helped you out for tomorrow's show.
It's gonna sound so much better, you're gonna love it.
You're gonna love all the new changes, Dad.
What did you do?
Don't know.
That's the point.
I don't know what I did, but it sounds so much better.
Take a listen.
You wiped the road, Gaster!
I know.
Are you proud of me?
Look at me.
I'm a big boy now.
I do it all by myself.
I came in here.
I've done suppose a button.
It said, are you sure you want to delete everything?
I knew the word. Yes. So I pressed that one. And then it said, are you sure you want to delete everything? I knew the word yes, so I pressed that one.
And then it said, are you absolutely positive?
You want to erase everything you've ever done on this road
gasser for the last three years?
I said, of course, I do.
Dad, we're buddies now, right?
You are grounded.
FAMER!
I thought I was helping. What the fuck? I'm going to check out Mickey Mouse, see you later, Dad. You are grounded. FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN And this said, I'm sure of it. I know it. He just felt like he was helping me out. Poor guy. He just had no idea how to work the roadcaster.
And that makes two of us in the house now
that have no idea how to work the roadcaster
and indiscriminately touch the buttons.
Ha, ha, ha.
Did you take a picture of anything
now that you have it back up and running?
What?
What did he say, Chrissy?
Just in case.
Why would I say picture? I don't do it. It's just re-raise.
E-raise. Keep on re-raising. Just press the erase button until it's all zeroes.
No problem. Once it's all zeroes, you know you're ready to go.
Well, I like that noise from my kid.
I think we can use that one. It's perfect.
It's perfect.
It actually sounds like one of my kid. I think it would be the use of what it's perfect. It's perfect. It actually sounds like one of my kids. All right. So last episode, Chrissy and I were getting and speaking
of a horrible diarrhea. Chrissy and I were getting into the mountain monsters compilation,
the best of the mountain monsters available on travel channel in case you want to know.
And we just love the mountain monsters here at the commercial break because it's a barrel of monkeys
anytime that you watch it.
It's literally five guys named the same thing.
They're all buck, a huck, chuck, or...
Really?
Yeah, willy.
There's wild, wild will.
Wild Bill, billy, willy, huck, chuck, two hucks,
a huckleberry.
There's two hucks and a chuck in the same show.
It's crazy how do these guys keep up with each other.
Last episode, they were chasing the Yeehaw women of,
what was it?
The Y-Haw women?
The Y-Haw women?
The Y-A women of South Carolina or something like that.
And since this is a compilation,
there are a couple different episodes
that they are reviewing.
So I felt like it was important and a lot of fun
to go back to it and check out with the months the best of the mountain monsters monsters for this season
Hey you my podcast friend. I just popped in to say that you are the best part of tcb and to show our appreciation
We want to give you a free wwft sticker
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And then we'll be back to this episode of the commercial break.
Chrissy, we never go wrong with mountain monsters.
At least not according to us.
Our audience might have something to say about it, but we can't go wrong.
So without further ado, I was thrown on the internet as I do like to do.
I got some more mountain monsters for us to review.
Let's do it.
We're back.
The Silver Giant.
The Silver Giant of Bloom County.
Boom County.
I thought it said Bloom County.
The Silver Giant.
The Silver Giant.
He he he.
All right guys, the next creature we're going to investigate.
Well, I believe it's one you're really going to enjoy.
We're going to Boone County West Virginia.
We're going after a massive fair creature known as the Silver Giant.
Now you talk to my game.
Now you talking to my game!
That's all well-known Zee!
What did he say daddy?
Not sure son. That's right. I know bears in and out brother. What did he say daddy?
Not sure son.
That's right.
I don't bear it in an out front.
Let me tell you a little bit about this super giant.
We're talking 9, 10, maybe even 11 foot tall.
And note.
We're talking between 9 and 36 feet tall between 12 and 150 teeth, 100 to 3,000 and 6 pounds, 2 to 7 legs, 4 feet
or maybe 6 and claws or possibly something else.
The stand up upright and be able to run on the time legs and has a giant silver streak running from
the top of his head all the way down his back.
I've never heard of a bear have a run and straight from his dick up to his chin.
He's a skunk.
He's a really large skunk.
He's peppy lippy.
A silver streak down his back.
Well, if there's anybody that knows better
than you, I know that for sure. Hey, I've even been got down notes about the old silver
giant. Got him right here. Now, it has him finned, did he, did he, did he, did he? I
never heard of it, but he's got notes. I never heard of it, but I took several pages
of notes from the dark web after I bought my methadone
right there an art page?
yeah it's an art page
that he drew something so what you're not seeing
is that they're in a car they're traveling to wherever
boot county west virginia boon county west virginia
and he they start talking about the monster
and then what's his name?
uh... billy
billy whatever
wild bill
wild bill
wild bill has taken a small child
scratched note pad and he's drawn something on it. I'm very excited to die seconds because look
This thing is an eye patch on it. It's a bear. He drew a bear with an eye patch and a dick for a nose
It's a dinosaur it's a T-Rex with tits
With tits are the 12 pack?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
What happened, Anne?
Why did you give me the life back?
She didn't look like a thyrus.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I'm impressed.
Alright, fun and games are over, put on the serious music.
Let's talk about the last investigation, the wild woman.
Let's not forget what she said to you.
Yinau douxiai.
Let me skin walk.
Let's not forget what she said to you.
Lala douxiai la pushi on the fushi hushi.
Which means your skin is smelly and sticky. What?
Who is this the part where they talk to you?
Yeah, that's the problem with these episodes
that we are using here, is these are only their vignettes, right?
And so we usually don't get to the conclusion
because those are full episodes of the mountain monsters
and I'm not paying for full episodes of the mountain monsters
if you know what I'm saying
You know Buck, I know you got a lot of Cherokee blood in you. I got Shawnee in me
I've went I've talked to some of my elders that they will not talk about skin walk
They're afraid if they talk about them. They're gonna come after them
Dying I never heard more bullshit than that
Hey, dying. I never heard more bullshit than that.
Skinwalker. I'm a skinwalker, right? I walk in my own skin. I don't know what that is. Who knows?
Well, we've got to keep this investigation going. Let's get the Boone Cali. Get after the Silver Giant. I think the most surprising thing that came out of that conversation is that those guys are part Indian.
I know.
Honestly.
But the old heat-on they'll heed on them.
Take it to them.
Yeah, let's do it.
We're getting ready to meet with our first-eye witness here in Boone County.
A man named Joe, how it on?
Why are all their guests in overalls and a duster?
They found them all in the same place.
Hey guys, I found you another one. Here's some overalls at a doaster. Well, I swear to God
That's the same guy we had last time. What does it really matter? I mean honest with guys
You think anybody cares who's gistening on mountain monsters
Jody's an extreme outdoors. Nice mission. Jody's making bucket any opportunity
He has to be in the outdoors. He's there Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe.
Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, Joe. Nice mission, no, this guy, noob, no siri bob, under a cow milk in a couple times.
Yes, in the woods, rolling around.
Yes, near the Whack and tree.
Absolutely.
17th story of 101 peach tree road.
No, probably done.
What do you got here?
Betcher's pretty nice bucks out here.
Quite a few nice deer taking off this piece of property over the years.
When I heard who's going at your bear creature, I't it? Quite a few nice deer taking off this piece of property over the years.
When I heard a whiz going at your bear creature,
I know it was time to step my game up.
And there's no one, I look up more to and Jeff Bro.
I decided to start watching Jeff Bro
for copy his style.
Did you hear like, oh, like a cartoon whistle there
at some point?
Did he cartoon whistle?
They put sound effects in there now.
Hey!
Look at those little glasses.
They put on their glasses.
I just get settled by these yellow!
Oh!
It's put in so further now.
Pop bar!
He's a coolest one on his tape.
You like bow hunter gonna.
I don't lean towards the bow hunting anymore.
I just I get get my rifle out there that way I can reach out there and touch him from a distance.
Oh, they're doing a comedy routine over here.
So what you don't see is that Billy and whatever the other guy's name is.
Billy is copycatting whatever the guy next to him.
Death row.
Jethro because he thinks Jethro is the coolest guy on here.
So he wants to be just like him.
This seems like an episode of Save By The Bell, I feel like.
That's a pot to save by the bill.
I've noticed the bills starting to copy Jeth a little bit.
They're wearing the same clothes, say no pad,
a little A-S-R-G.
I knew he was obsessed with bear,. I knew he was obsessed with bear,
and I knew he was obsessed with Jeff.
Judy, I heard you.
I caught these guys in the hotel room this morning,
giving each other a pat down with their towels.
Oh, yeah.
I knew they liked bears, but I didn't think
that's what they meant. I've had a pretty interesting encounter out here.
I have a cabin that's about 250 yards up that way, and I was headed down to my fishing
hole.
I noticed something back over here in the woods, and I couldn't really tell exactly what
it was, but there's black bears around here, so...
So naturally, I called you guys I saw a nine and a half foot
300 ton bear with claws and he was holding a decapitated woman's head with
blood out of it with another woman in the other hand screaming so I called
the mountain monsters I called scientists assuming that it's a black bear so I
started walking right through this path right here
And I stepped on a branch and whenever it snapped whatever it was over there jumped up on its back legs and took off running
And that thing looked like it was ten foot tall
Just like bear running away
I just see this like bear running away. Well, also do anything, anytime something's on four legs and then it pops up.
On to two legs.
Yeah, then it's gonna automatically like double and.
Yeah, that's true.
I didn't eat.
Yes, it automatically doubled in height.
You don't say.
When I'm laying down in the morning, I triple in height when I get a triple.
Almost got triple.
Oh wow, I've seen bears stand up on their hind legs before, but I've never seen one run on their hind legs.
Part of me starting to think. Oh
Look at that bear go
From the circus yeah, it's just an escape circus bear that might be a big foot
It is indiscriminately throwing out monsters now come on guys, I trusted you before that comment. I trusted you and our best interest at heart.
Now I know better.
We're placing, we'll stay back here and try to get an eyeball
of about words at.
We need to find out if this is a black bear
or the silver giant, this is right here,
or something else.
Tell me when, right there, stop.
Oh my God, they are taking a stick
and putting it up against the tree to measure how tall
he thinks it might have been.
There is no more scientific methods.
Oh no.
Not a sense.
They're gonna eyeball it.
Not since the Dewey Desmos system
has a more accurate and thorough count
of something been made.
Nine put three.
We went over to that big tree again,
and measured it. Nine put three, it's rock, that big tree to get a measure. Nine put three is rock bear knife. Almost
came for the tall one instead of. I'm thinking this might be a big
foot. Jeff broke us look for some scat some bear scat to know
a creature. That's look to know somebody you got to smell there poo poo and pee pee. That's how I met my current wife, Jo Lee.
Hahaha.
I really didn't deserve that.
I waited till she took the number two.
It's a local bar and I'm falling her in.
Hahaha.
Yep, that's my girl.
Hahaha.
That's nothing like a little woman's cat gets good.
You got no what he eats.
So I have become a professor in poop.
I might be some scared.
With my degree, I can sit on my cell with number one
scatologist in the United States.
I'm a number one scatologist.
Excuse me, I'm a number two scatologist. Excuse me. I'm a number two scatologist. I
Have been certified by the United States scat association
the oh
I could literally determine the color length and size of anything based on its shit
Hello, he was holding up like a muddy leaf. I know he might be scat might be scat
But I'm no expert, but I. I can find this old conversation.
The days are all the days of the hell. Like, day and all day, it's big. I'm a first member
of some people have joined Mensa. I'm a part of Osa. Before countries.
Hey, I think I might bounce some bear scat on his leap. Smell it and see, Bill.
Who is step-by-scat? It's right, dude.
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
This reminded me in 1979. After the Leonard Skinner concert down in Mobile and me and Janus.
He's obsessed with this cat, ain't he?
That's an old track, good day.
Right there. Scatologist.
I'm a shit scientist.
There's a mayor per by Knatterer's jet broke. Yeah, that's definitely a bird track right there.
Jeff and Bill found a huge track down there that had claw marks in them.
Now that does sound like a bear.
I think we need to come back tonight and see if we can't find any sign of something.
Right now, we're not exactly... That time is at night. Absolutely, and I'll tell you why,
because you can't see shit. So it really covers up the fact that there's nothing out here,
except for us, and a camera crew with thousands of lights.
Is this the silver giant or is it some other creature?
Is this the silver giant or is it some other creature?
We met with Jody today. He said he seen a bear close to 10 foot tall and it ran on time legs. There's no way that's a black bear.
Nate, where are the-
Did Jethro all of a sudden get like a man purse?
Well, no.
All of a sudden he's heading to Starbucks to open up his
MacBook Pro and do some final cut editing.
We're up against the silver giant. We're up against the big foot. Right. We're gonna
work around this way. Start trying to see if we can find any sign. Maybe some
scat. And find out if there's a creature in here or not. Yeah, yeah's always a full moon, Chrissy.
That's the best time to go monster hunting.
It provides you natural light and cover from the monsters that are sure to rip your head off.
We're going after one of the most dangerous creatures we've ever been after.
I say that on every single episode.
Over giant is over a thousand pounds.
A bear like that, it rip you to shreds.
Look here, looks like we had a bear in here,
maybe trying to get some grubs or something.
Yeah, it may not, it looks like bear claws.
Oh yeah.
Yes sir, them sprays bear claws look at this.
Look how massive that thing from above.
There is a piece of wood with scratch marks on it.
Those scratch marks were it, those scratch marks
were clearly made by a knife in a pattern.
Like, there's no animal that does that.
Oh, yes.
Look at that.
That's a big one, isn't it?
Huh?
That's a big bear.
Look at that.
That's that snake and white.
Holy herbie handcuff.
Look at Tim Burkfall.
Will you just come up on this log?
You can.
Holy double trouble. Holy steam bow will it?
Holy snow white. All the Disney movies. See the third bear sign there.
Paul Marks, 3 to 5 Mrs. In between these toes. This bears few monks. Well we got bear signs.
I say we keep looking and see what else we can find. There we go.
All right.
Should we find a silver gem?
I say we stop right here and get back to the Ritz Carlton.
What if they just were on this one, tell them.
We've been out here for four hours.
I don't want to die tonight.
Can we just go back to the Ritz Carlton?
Brother.
I don't want to die tonight. Can we just go back to the rich Carlton?
I have a feeling we ain't need words alone.
Amen to that brother
No, you aren't there's an entire camera crew with you Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, shoot his gun. Now easy, they ready guys. For the right.
Yeah, near that down tree.
Going thing good.
I'm looking.
Man, it's thick in there.
What was that?
Oh, what in the world was that?
That's fine.
Listen, listen, listen, listen.
Sounds metallic.
It works out.
That was stunning.
That was stunning.
That's me. I try to get the trash cans put in the right police guys. I apologize. I promise I'll be more quiet next time
We can hear something sounds like metal against metal
What tell we got out here in the middle woods it could be metal
I know the plate in your head. I'm not sure. I'm really sure
See something he says a bear cunt
Grunt Oh, I see something. He says a bear cunt. A grunt. A grunt.
See something.
A grunt.
Yeah, I thought Jethro was going crazy with the scat again.
Go easy.
Looks like an old metal silo or something.
Bill, Jeff, yeah.
You two go to the right.
Buck, come with me.
I want to see you.
Me and Huckleberry's going to work around the front.
Jeff and Wild Bill are going to work around the back. I don't want to see it. Me and Huckleberry's gonna work around the front.
Jeff and Wild Bill are gonna work around the back.
You don't work around the front,
you just walk right up to it, by the way.
Second of all, why isn't it that any time danger appears?
These guys split up in multiple directions.
I would stay as close to you as possible if I saw
whatever a four foot silver wolf coming toward me.
We're gonna see if we can find one
with making that noise.
I just want to see, I just want to see Bug crawl into his head stop.
He crawled into that tree.
I think Bug has gotten stuck multiple places during this time of the show.
See how good this one runs out of there? When I... When grudge we heard that it's definitely a bear dude.
Very...
I'm ready.
Oh!
What's that?
The bone part.
It's a bone ball!
I bought it the Halloween depot.
Huh. It's a bone bow! I bought it the Halloween Depot.
Ah.
Uhhhh.
Yeah, that looks like an old calf.
Yeah, it looks like a whole, you know, the cow, the steer skeleton, that you can buy at
any antique store for a dollar.
It's a little pile of bones.
You're an old pile of bones.
Alright, well that's all they're gonna give us for free. I guess I'll have to pay for the
version. Oh my god. I love it. It's so funny. I love it. I love wow. I love it.
Mad Monster.
It's so funny.
I love it.
I love it.
I love it.
I don't even watch these anymore before we put them on because I just know how entertaining
it's going to be.
It's not.
I you can give me any mountain monsters material and I'll work with it.
Like Theresa Caputo, Frankie B.
They've got formula.
They really do.
They work it.
Guys, coming up here real soon. They've got formula and they work it. They work it.
Guys, coming up here real soon, guys and girls coming up here real soon, we are going to have some guests in studio with Chrissy and I.
And we're going to have my mom back real soon too.
Awesome, I can't wait to talk to her.
So we have a few ask Brian's mom questions teed up
and some of them are you're rather
discerving all of you out there.
So congratulations for being as fucked up as we are.
But if you would like to ask my mom a question, ask TCB question, or ask one of our guest
questions, we'll tell you what we might share with you some of the guests that are coming
up so you can nail their questions.
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Nice!
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Okay, Chrissy, that's all the amount monsters
I can do for now.
I think so.
But I love you.
I love you.
Best of you.
Best of you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I always say,
we do say and we must say, good bye.
Bye. Good bye! I'm coming high on me.
you