The Commercial Break - Uncle Bryan's Rules Of Dating

Episode Date: October 22, 2021

Bryan and Krissy are celebrating 1,000,000 downloads by almost destroying the studio! Then they discuss The Bachelorette, the ridiculous ways in which contestants try to get attention, the producers plan to embarrass some of the single guys and the parity with dating in 2021. Then the gang reviews some dating rules from 1930's through 2021. Finally, Uncle Bryan has a few words for the kids about the single life!  LINKS: Want a TCB limited edition collectible sticker? Each series sticker is limited and first come, first serve. Click HERE to find out how! Send us show ideas, comments, questions or hate mail by texting us or leaving a voicemail at 1-661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch Us on YouTube TCB Live On Fireside App All Sponsor Codes & Links  Streamlight Lending By SunTrust Bank (Use Code TCB for additional interest savings) BeachBound is beach focused vacation travel planning agency...online! Special Thanks: Special Thanks To Moon Cheese For The Snacks! Use Code TCB For 15% Off Moon Cheese Products...Click Here Special Thanks To Project Pollo Our Vegan Burgers! Studio Snacks Provided By Siete Chips! (Try The Fuego Flavor!) Castbox is the TCB publishing partner . Download The App Here! New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere you listen to podcasts! 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Guys, as this ever happened to you, man, I'd love to go hit the dance floor and show off my new jitterbug, but I'm afraid the guys are gonna see my jitter rug! Ah, they call me jizzy jive hodley, and I know the feeling boys, over two decades ago I had a similar incident. I hit the local jitterbug, j join in my one piece unit art, started with a pair of jazz hand and a high kick to the low alley, and wood came a tumble on out, my tumble weeds. That's when I started Jizzie Jeff's All-Mail Review Dance All and Laser Hair Removal Studio. That's right at Jizzie Jeff's All-Mail Review Dance

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of crab apple jeff is giving away a free back waxing with every single dance. Tell them, Gizzy Jeff sent ya. All right, guys, I'm coming on before the show to be sentimental for a moment, which we don't do very often here on the commercial break, but as we reach a million downloads in 2021, I wanna thank two people who are behind the scenes, who have to really put up with a lot of shit

for us to do what we do for you. That is our spouses, Astrid of course, my wife, and Jeff Brantford, Haudenly, Chrissy's husband, who coincidentally, it's his birthday. So we'll say happy birthday to Jeff, and thank you to both of you

for letting us act like idiots here in the studio on a weekly basis. And now, as we always do, we'll say we'll be back after this commercial break. On this episode of the commercial break, if that duct tape hadn't been there, if that camera hadn't stood, here's the funny thing, is when the camera actually fell, what I realized is I never really had the camera attached to the tripod. Correctly. Or at all.

It was just sitting on top of there. It's quite frankly amazing. It hasn't fallen before now. I know. Oh, stupid. Don't be a careless woman. Never appeal to gentlemen that are not your date. And please, don't talk while dancing, for a man wants quiet, and he's dancing cheek-to-cheek. Shut up!

Try to dance! Give me your cheek! I'm doing the running man! Come down! Introducing someone to your parents indicates something. Give me your cheek now. I'm doing the running man, come down. Yeah. Introducing someone to your parents indicates something. Because that's a whole thing. That's a whole ball of wax. Yeah, now you got your parents involved in the relationship.

Now they're opinions are there. They're like, good job. Yeah, they're like, good job or who is that guy Brian? Brian. The their opinion kind of put in. He said he would pay the bill and then he left. He ordered a 1934 Shetto Marmoth and said, Hey, dad, you got this one? Cool.

Your daughter likes me a lot more than I like her. So you got to step up to the plate. Show me what you're working with, dad. I couldn't be persuaded otherwise. The next episode of the Commercial Break starts now. Oh, that's another episode of the Commercial Break. The episode that almost never happened. Woo-hoo! It could have been a lost episode.

We came close. Hi, I'm Brian Green. This is Kristen Haudley and Happy Holidays. Happy Holidays. Best of you, Kristi. Best of you, Brian. Best of you out there in the podcast universe. Welcome back to another episode of the commercial break.

We've been telling, we've been saying this for many, many, probably the entire entirety of our existence here as a show. But this studio that we're working in is the tiny, it's, it's a literally a child's bedroom, but not like a child like an actual toddler. We're talking like an infant, it was supposed to have a crib, two toys, and a rocking chair, and that's it. So it's like seven feet by seven feet. Therefore, and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing technically. So therefore, everything I've done, I have pieced together, duct tape, stitched it all together to make it all work. And so there are so many wires hanging around here, and I don't know half of them do to be honest with you. I don't remember how I got from point A to point B. I'm just trying to make it work.

It's like the Clark Christmas family Christmas plug-in of podcasts. I take pride in that. I take pride in it. Just don't switch off the lights. Just don't turn the lights switch. Or it was, yeah, okay. Anyway, so earlier, I was trying to print out the show notes So I decided to hop over one of the wires and the whole camera system came crashing down and We duct tape it together, but for a moment there. I thought oh shit. We don't they gonna make enough money Everybody's like a system. What are we gonna do? Oh, no? I wanted to mention one thing real quick before we get started.

We are officially millionaires, Chrissy. Yes. Millionaires. Now because Spotify approached us with some sweet Joe Rogan like deal, but because we have reached a million downloads. And I will tell you that now I mean we did it. We did it just a little bit ago, right? It's not actually today when you're listening to this because it's not live unless you're

on fireside. But most of those million or almost all those million came in the year 2021. So congratulations to you. Congratulations to you. Congratulations to the podcast. It wouldn't have all happened without this duct tape. If that duct tape hadn't been there, if that camera hadn't stood, here's the funny thing is when the camera actually fell, what I realized is I never really had the camera attached The trot font Correctly Or at all it was just sitting on top of there. It's a quite frankly amazing. It hasn't fallen before now

Stupid and Because we had to use an alternate piece of equipment to make this all work We now have what I call stop motion animation going on on our YouTube channel It's like that Rudolph I can't hear through my headphones the camera's not working and Perfect pretty sure it's a place on it onto the new years of the holidays Fireside I'm gonna cut out at any moment now. That's just how it works. So anyway, congratulations to you, my dear.

Thank you for taking this ride with me. Oh, it's been so fun. It's been a wild one. I can't even imagine. I can't, I just looking forward to the next million, I guess, is all I gotta say. Exactly. And thank you to all the listeners out there

who come back week after week and put up with our bullshit. We certainly do. Appreciate it. We'll walk. They've been along for a ride too. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean,

Acid put up a post today and she showed that on the very first episode in the first week, we received 24 downloads. I think it was. So 24 downloads in the first week and my how things have changed. So thank you to all the, who are those 24 people I want? It's probably like my dad, you know, it's my dad and friends and stuff like that. It was Jeff. And...

Well, the camera has completely stopped working at this point. Ah! Ah! Oh my god, this is too funny. Well, we'll just go ahead and do whatever. We're just going to run with it. Yes. Um, so I love you, you're my best friend.

You have been for a very long time and thank you for all of the love and support I mean you're a big part of the show now. I mean I can't imagine doing it without you now But if I had you I have a couple people mine. So just don't go anywhere Don't think I won't replace it quick. That's right. I'll call Jeff Dawkins real quick. Don't call that Daweskin guy real quick so You know, it's I got another 21 weeks of the Bachelor at coming up because a brand new season started last night. And of course, my wife being the fan that she is decided

to jump right into the Bachelor at and giving me. And then you're hooked. I was watching the Braves game, the Braves playoff game, baseball game. And so what she was doing was giving me updates all along the way as to what was going on as if I cared. But then at some point all the sudden I care. I was like, what?

Say, what is that evidence? Yeah. So a few highlights from my wife's text messages last night. I had to go in and get a full report from Astrid. It was introduction night. So if those of you don't watch the Bachelor edits, one man or woman in this case of woman that stands there and 20 eligible bachelors come and they parade around the front of a big house.

The best bread their peacock feathers if you know. Some of them are just ridiculous. One guy showed up without pants on. He said, hey, let's just get this out of the way. You know, but whatever thought was really funny is apparently there was a firefighter that was there. And that firefighter showed up and he showed up in like a little mini fire truck, like the kind of toddlers run around, right? He thought it was cute and interesting. And so he

drives up in this little like, you know, motorized mini fire truck and he jumps out and his fire truck out, his fireman outfit. And he's like, you know, I'm a fireman, beat the fireman. Yeah, you're doing. And then he, you know, of course, they take the reaction shot, which is when they have that single camera focused on one person. And they he, you know, they of course they take the reaction shot, which is when they have that single camera focused on one person, and they're, you know, interspacing it with commentary from the people that are actually living it. And the guy is like, Oh, man, I, I, I knew going in that little truck was the right move, you know, I'm really impressed.

Made an impression. And she must have been impressed. That was funny. It was cute. You know, dada, dada, and even the girl said she was like, oh, that was interesting, you know, the exact,, and even the girl said she was like, oh, that was interesting, you know. Yeah. The exact, the next person to show up was another firefighter who showed up in an actual fire truck. Oh, he took it up a notch. He took it up seven notches.

Yeah. Seven hundred feet of additional fire truck. He showed up with, and they were like, hmm, and the guy was like, he's going away, yeah. And like, the producers are so cruel. I like, it's a plan away. Yeah. And the producers are so cruel. I think, no, this is gonna happen. And they sent that guy right after the first guy.

But one of the most interesting things I think happened, or at least from the recap that I got from my wife was, there was a guy who apparently had no idea what the bachelor at was. He really had like, no, he says, I have no clue what the bachelor was. He had a folder that he brought with him and that folder was an article on how not to show up

like a douchebag on the Bachelorette. Why can't I mention it? Yeah, like, hey, if you're gonna do something, study up. Yes, study up. Why did you have to bring a folder worth of shit? I mean, this is stupid. And what did he do?

They caught him. So I guess the hosts who are now two former bachelor's. You know, of course, the producer know everything. They know everything, right? So, you know, they found the folder and then they alert the girl to the folder and then the girl says, well, I need to see the folder to make sure that, you know, I understand what you're up to.

And why is the folder a bad thing? Well, I mean, the folder. Yeah,, it just shows you're just trying to manipulate the system. I guess. I don't know. Isn't that just like a job interview? You're going to read up on the company. Shop interview. And what's an interview for? Well, it is an interview of it's an interview for start-up is really what it is. Yes, no one really wants to get married. Listen, I want to do the engagement process now twice. I don't intend to go through it again,

but I've been through it twice. And the courtship is not the easiest thing in the world. And there's lots of stumbles and fumbles, and evolibly you're showing your best side, and then at some point, you should just... And then the worst side. On what?

The mirror comes crashing down like my camera equipment. And you know, I mean, it's just that like, but this all unfolds in 20 days in front of the entire universe. If you're a fucking shithead, excuse my language, you're gonna get found out. People are gonna figure out that you're a shithead. Yeah, the true collar's a path, right?

And if you have to have a handbook on how not to be a douchebag, then it's likely. It's likely in your life, someone has decided that you're a real, you know, cockknocker. I mean, I don't even know what to say, right? It's just like, you know that this guy in his life has heard this from people before. I don't show up to an event.

Like I don't show up to family members wedding or a cocktail party or a dinner or Christmas Eve, you know, whatever. Midnight Mass. I don't show up there with a handbook on how not to act like a jerk at a cocktail party. I just don't do it. I don't need to read up on it. Right. You know, I'm gonna, it's gonna happen anyways. I don't know. I see how this unfolds. If you will, fold or fold. Fold or fold. People are probably like, let's invite Brian,

he's gonna go shit you. He's good, Rosemar. Knock, knock. Knock, who's there? Hey, are your credit card pulls piling up and those interest rates keeping you up at night? That is strange that you ask my friend, Chrissy Holi, because Lightstream, a division of SunTrust

is actually a brand new sponsor of ours here on the commercial break. And by the way, yes, to answer your question, yes, credit card bills keep me up at night. Oh my gosh, I think during the pandemic things were really crazy. Some people you know, lost their jobs and needed to kind of supplement with credit cards. Now maybe they've got another job again and they're looking to kind of pay things down and those interest rates make it so hard to do, really make any headway at 19, 20, 22%. It's crazy, some of my credit card rates start at like 13 or 14% and I mean, I'm not,

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So I think this is a great option as far as being able to consolidate everything into one place with one monthly payment. I agree with you 100%. I do have to say that one of the things that causes so much stress in everyone's life is concerned about money. Money. And so I think the people at Lightstream honestly are trying to help by offering these

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So please visit lightstream.com slash TCB for more information, lyghtst-r-e-a-m.com slash TCB for more information. Oh my gosh, guys, I am so excited about our brand new sponsor, Beachbound. Beachbound.com is changing the way that we book Beach Travel. Here's how it goes.

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that's all they focus on. They micro focus on beaches. Thanks to beachbound.com for becoming a sponsor of TCB and thanks the heavens for beaches. Hey everybody, it's that time of the show when I remind you to go to www.tcbpodcast.com. It's your one-stop shop for everything. You can find out more about Chrissy and I, you can read the show notes, you can watch the video, you can listen to the audio, all from tcbpodcast.com.

You can also get your limited edition collectible sticker right from the website. Drop your information, we'll tell you how to get it, we'll tell you where to put the information all on the website, one place, no worries. 661-237-8296, that's 661, the word best, the number 2 yo! If you'd like to text us about show content ideas, you have a question, you'd like to leave a comment or hate mail. We like hate mail, send it on to 661, best to yo! And if you're so inclined, we'd love it if you'd subscribe to our YouTube channel, youtube.com

slash the commercial break. Follow us on Instagram at the commercial break, or like, rate, and or subscribe on your favorite podcast publisher. and podcast.com for all the information I just talked about. And now back to the show. It got me thinking like, you know, I'm married. I'm happily married. I'm proudly married. You're married. You're our cheers.

I'm a little for now. I miss that. We'll see what happens up for the show. So I'm married and you know, happily married. But I know the grass is always greener on the other side. I know it always is, right? There's sometimes when you're married and you're gonna be like, holy shit, you know? And then when you're single, which I've been for many years of my life,

I know how difficult that can be. It's true. I never was one to sit in like piss and moan about being single. I just figured out this is just the way it is. And you know, having fun and I'm like the most of it. We're even single at the same time. Yeah. That you can hate from me. You can swing it in mangillin. You can be with having fun and I'm like the most of it, you know, but they're even singlet the same time I'm out meeting people of meeting swinging in Manglin

But me with having fun with guys having fun with girls. We all over the place That's who swing existers out there just do wild and crazy guys We had a lot of fun being single because I but there's a lot of people that sit around and they drowned in that sorrow You know, it's very true. Oh my god. I'm you know, single. And so it got me thinking, I'm so far removed from the, in five years that I've known Astrid, the whole dating universe has changed, right? Just like our studio. So yeah, got me thinking, what is, what is dating like in 2021? And I went out on the internet as I do. As you do. And decided that I was going to do some research on dating in the 21st, dating in 2021.

Hand in the 20th century. Like it's a born in 1922. Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's review some of the rules that are out there on the internet for how you're supposed to handle yourself. Well, actually, you know what? Let's go back a little bit.

Let's go to our forefathers time. And let's figure out what they were thinking back in the day when they were dating. Okay. So I found an old PSA. It's not an audio thing. I'm gonna read it to you. There are a number of pictures associated with it. It's like a magazine that someone put together about the rules of courtship. Okay. And this is back in 1938, right? This is mainly geared toward women because, of course it is. Because of course, right? Yeah, yeah. The ladies that are act right. It's hard to believe that it's just a hundred years ago

that we all had to deal with this. It's crazy. Do your dressing in the Budwar, which I imagine is the bathroom. Be ready when the date arrives. Never keep him waiting and greet him with a smile. Men don't like girls who borrow hanker chips. So please bring your own tissue for lipstick and makeup.

Do your makeup and privacy and never let a man see you without makeup on. Mm-hmm. Okay, don't sit in awkward positions. Now this one I can agree with. It's a lot of work. It is a lot of work, isn't it? Yeah.

This one I can agree with. Don't sit in awkward positions. Never look bored even if you are. Always cross your legs like a lady. Never chew gum unless you must. And do it silently with your mouth closed. Unless you must. Don't be a careless woman. Never appeal to gentlemen that are not your date.

And please, don't talk while dancing for a man wants quiet when he's dancing cheek to cheek. Shout out! Shout out to dance! Give me your cheek now! I'm doing the running man. Calm down. Wow.

Don't use the car mirrors to fix your makeup. The man needs it. Makeup again. I mean, the fit. Oh, there's a lot of, if you do any research like I do about these old and 40s and 50s and 60s PSAs, there's a lot of emphasis put on the actual. This is why, this is generational. I think this is generational

why women feel still to this day compulsory need. I mean, some women or I think it's probably just like ancestral that you feel the need to always look good, to look a certain way, to feel it, you know, to be attractive to the opposite sex. It's all comes from this like, I don't know primordial bullshit here. Listen to this one, don't use the car mirror to fix your makeup. A man needs that mirror when he's driving. And it annoys him if he has to turn around and look behind him and see what's going on.

Do your makeup and private. Do your makeup and private. What are that's what they come up with the mirrors and the visors? Oh yeah, that's, hey, yeah. It was whoever came up with that one had a good idea. If you need a brazier, where one, if you need a bra, where one? Who makes that determination?

I can over a certain size, maybe don't tug at your girdle and be careful. Your stockings are not wrinkled. God forbid. I mean, yes. Don't be familiar with your escort by caressing him in public. Any open signs of affection is in bad taste. It embarrasses and humiliates him. Be careful with your hands.

Don't be sentimental to try and get him to say something he doesn't want to by working on his emotions with him. Men don't like tears. They don't want to show emotion on his emotions with him. Men don't like tears. They don't want to show a mission. Emotions. Just let's go ahead and show up. All we want. One.

Well, I mean, alternatively. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear you feel about anything. Shut up. Don't be, uh, don't be familiar with the head waiter talking about the fun you had with someone else. Another time a man deserves your entire attention. The head waiter. Talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. A man deserves your entire attention. The head waiter. What did I know? The leader of the waiter. Well, I'm the chileys guy. Take your order. Are you the head waiter? I'm Michael

I'll be your head waiter. I'll be your head waiter this evening. Welcome to Chile's. Let me tell you about our specials two for two yesterday's tacos We made them yesterday two for two I Was just here last night with Michael having two for two taco Tuesdays Don't drink too much a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening drinking may lead to promiscuity and and expects you to keep your dignity all evening, drinking may lead to promiscuity and girls to be ultra clever,

but men don't like clever women and certainly not silly ones. Oh my God. Like really, honestly, don't be conspicuous, talking to other men is the last straw. And it could, and it is an indication you've been drinking too much.

You're just about to pass out. Be careful. Well, okay, all right. This is a tried and true one. God, I'm trying to think about like my great-grandmother going through all this. Oh my God. I mean, she did always have her lipstick and rouge on. Yeah, my grandmother, to the day that she died.

I mean, I think, to the day that she died. She was 103 years old. I never saw my grandmother without makeup unless I had spent the night at her house and it was the morning before. But I mean, she was always dressed appropriately with makeup. They just came from a different era when I guess that was the expectation.

Yeah, now I would think it would be weird if I actually knew a woman that I saw her only in her makeup. I mean, that's, it's called Instagram. Exactly. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay, ready? So now BuzzFeed updates some of the rules for 2021.

These are some, these are some things that we should be doing in 2021. I'd like to know this. Quit ghosting people. Be an adult and tell them why the relationship doesn't work anymore. Never break up over email or text. It's cowardly and disrespectful.

I think that's one thing I would agree with. It's like the scariest part about, I think being single in 2021 to me, if I was to be single, is that it seems pretty normal. It seems like just in the course of the dating routine, it's okay to just completely go somebody. Just stop talking to them altogether. All communication sees, isn't that really weird?

Yeah, I think I've been ghosted a few times, probably with good reason. But probably with good reason. But I mean, I can't imagine myself anyway, going on a date or two with a person. Exactly. And then not at least having the common courtesy to drag that ghosting out like every other human does.

Right. Right. Well, then it's kind of like something did something happen to them. Were they in a wreck? Like, it's just the way this shit happened. It is. I had a friend who literally on more than one occasion had the girl leave in the middle of a meal.

Now, I know my friend and I know my friend, right? That's really bad though. You remember you and I had a mutual friend and I'm not gonna say his name, but we had a mutual friend. This happened to him on a regular basis. He would either, he would either. It was bad, bad. Yeah, he'd start communicating with a woman in the second that they met.

I mean, I did endure some bad dates, but I did indeed endure them. Yeah, I did indeed endure them to try to speed him up. Yeah, so full. I just had that appetizer. I'm sure you guys believe it. I need the main. Man, had that appetizer. I'm sure you guys know that. Yeah, I don't believe it. I think I need the main meal. Man, that bun, like, bun, bun, bun, bun, bun, it's got me all kind of dizzy. It's full. No appetizers for us.

We'll just think the check. Can you box her meal up for her? So she just ordered, excuse me, head waiter. Okay, head waiter. I just want you to go box with me on head waiter. The headway there. The things he must see. As a bartender, I saw a lot of this bullshit too. Oh, man, I remember, I remember when I worked at a little Italian restaurant, there was a guy who came in there frequently. He was kind of a loner type, dude, not a bad looking guy

at all. I thought him to be very pleasant and nice. I mean, he was always drunk when he was in the bar, so maybe that's why. But he was always talking about how he was single, perpetually single, he could never find a lady. He got set up on a blind date. They have been talking on the phone for like, I think if I remember the story correctly, three weeks, right?

Let's say a month about, they've been talking fireworks were going on at least over the phone. And she came to the bar for the first eight to the restaurant. This is like a Italian trotoria for the for the first eight. She walks in and she is stunning. Stunning. Like I mean, she's just a beautiful woman. Right.

She sits down with him. She is not there talking to him 15 minutes and she gets up and she goes to the bathroom and she never comes back. We actually had to have one of the wait staff go in there and check to make sure everything is okay. Oh no, yeah. And he was like, what in the world just happened? And I'm like, I hope she's okay.

Like literally, I didn't, I hope she's okay. I hope that's all she's okay. We slate her, he comes back in. We slate her, he comes back in. Hey Todd, what happened with the young lady? He said, I have never heard from her again. Never heard from her again. And I was like, wow.

I don't know. He saw her. I got buried a body in the backyard last night, by the way, just so we're at front. I don't know. I don't know. I just, I thought I'd tell you in person. I just remember thinking at the time to myself that there,

at the time it was so weird, so strange for something like that to happen. Yeah. That I remember thinking to myself, he really must have like come across as a complete goober. Something. Yes. Something he must have said.

That's up there with 15 minutes. Right. They were there for 15 minutes. And they've been talking for weeks. We've got a month. I mean, three weeks is a long time. It is. That's right.

And I were planning our wedding in three weeks. Right. I mean, it's definitely not worked out. It worked out. Were you guys really? We were pretty hot and heavy from the day. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. I mean, luckily that worked out. Were you guys really? We were pretty hot and heavy from the day.

Uh huh. Okay, you ready? Basically did everything you're not supposed to on that 30s recommendation. I did 30 recommendations. Well, I mean, I think, yeah, that's just bad. I'm glad that my daughter is living in a different world than that one, because that is just insane. But this one also seems scary.

Yeah, I mean, it's scary in a different way. At least you can be yourself. And there's all the catfish stuff that happens. Oh my God. But you know, some of these catfishes are like really obvious. Like if you can't tell that if you're a two, right? And a 10 starts talking to you for no particular reason whatsoever. I don't know.

I think you gotta have like a little bit of self-awareness. I think you gotta go, well, I mean, there is an occasional odd couple where it's like, wow. Yeah, with these as movies too, we're like the, you know, the, the, yeah, they're movies. Good looking girl falls for like the dorky kind of guy

or the, or reverse, you know, and so gives people hope It's a movie. It's a movie It's pretend. Uh-huh, right in the real world if you're living in Shaboykin, Wisconsin Right, and you've been doing nothing but playing video games in your parents basement Since you were 18 and now you're 37 years old without any identifiable future whatsoever. And you, to read up in your hands are stained of Dorito cheese. And someone starts asking for money.

That's right. Well, yeah. And then, you know, I don't know. Jennifer Aniston dials you up on the Instagram and says, man, you're the man I've been waiting for, right? I mean, you have to have a little self-awareness. If you're a little skeptical. If you're two looking for a 10, or if you're two that gets contacted by a 10, the very first

thing you do is you fucking FaceTime. That's the first thing that you do. You FaceTime. That's what you do. Speaking of FaceTime, what do we, what do we, I don't know, do we get into it? We're having all kind of studio issues. Okay, ready? Yes. Enter relationships with a neutral amount of trust, rather than an undeserved lack of trust or unproven confidence, let people show you who they are. I think this is a big

one. I know I have friends and acquaintances and I'm sure I've approached relationships in this way at times also Is that you take all of your baggage from the last one and you send it right into the Pain and scars and yeah, yes, you sent you just dump it on their doorstep you take your baggage and at the connecting flight You send it ahead of you right and you're waiting for you at the next destination It's so bad Yeah, I mean okay, yeah He's waiting for you at the next destination. It's so bad. Yeah. I mean, okay. Yeah.

The one that's all cheated on you, I get it. You know, it's a bad experience. I know it can be extremely painful and hurtful. I've been cheated on too. Yeah. But you take that through, carry that through every single relationship moving forward. Yeah, I've got to have kind of a clean slate.

Yeah. Well, you're unlikely to have an actual meaningful relationship because everyone's going to be like, well, why am I getting the bullshit? It was that dude who cheated on you, right? I'm a true honest person. Be friends with your partner. Yes, that's good.

If you can't be yourself around them, the relationship probably isn't meant to be. Right. True story. I have dated people that I would not be friends with on. I have these people as I don't find. Right, because you were dating those girls, I mean, well, we were best friends,

but you were really wanting to hang out with them. No, I had no interest in hanging out with them. The days were interested in hanging out with you. I was like, how many go hang out with Hobie? Right. We'll meet up later. We'll meet up later midnight. Come on over to the house. He's under the mat. It's hard to do though. I think it's human nature that you want to kind of, you want to be trusting, but then also something could be a trigger. And then you're like, you were the same as that. Yeah, it's hard. So it is hard. It's hard. It's hard when you have like a, when you have a lot of stuff that comes with you from past relationships, it's hard to shake that. And it's also hard not to project that into the next relationship.

And that's why, that's why therapy. That's why therapy. Better health on the first date. If they want to meet in public and drive themselves, be okay. Be okay with that. Of course, be okay with that. It's not okay with that. I know. Creeper known where I live. Hey, what's going on? It's me, Brian. I'm really excited about our first date. I'm going to have someone pick you up and bring you back to my house. And then from there, we're going to walk to a special date I have planned in a dark park. to a special date I have planned in a dark park. And then on this close location, if you could leave your phone at your house, I would appreciate it. Don't worry about your purse.

You don't need any identifications. Can you cut your fingertips off? Can you take your teeth out? Cool, we'll see you there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course, fingertips. Of course, fingertips. Of course, fingertips. Of course, fingertips. Of course, fingertips.

Of course, fingertips. Please burn them. Could you burn your fingertips? Yeah, come on the stove. Burn your fingertips and shave off the tea. Yeah. I would appreciate it. No, don't worry about it.

Just before our first date, 4 8 o'clock. Right. Real quick. I'll send over, I'm going to send over a dentist Yeah. To make some impressions. It's just the thing I do. Don't worry about it. Who's not okay with the date driving themselves?

What is that all about? I actually think it would be on a first date, like certainly on a blind date. It's preferable. It would be weird. I mean, I don't know if it's weird, but I wouldn't offer, I wouldn't, maybe I would offer,

but I certainly would never expect that someone would actually take me up on the offer that let me pick you up, because then you are fucking stuck. I mean, there's Uber these days, right? But you're still, you're kind of stuck. It's like you have a sense of obligation to the fact that you just drove here with somebody.

And so. Plus, I know where you live, so there's that. That is. I didn't think about that one. I was watching the Love Connection. I really wanted to put a Love Connection clip in here. Oh, there's that. That is. I didn't think about that one. I was watching the Love Connection. I really wanted to put a Love Connection clip in here. Oh, I love that show. I was watching the Love Connection.

I love, love, love that show. For those of you that don't know, Love Connection was a show back in the 80s. They would send two people out on a blind date. The two people would come back and report on the blind date on a cut couch with a guy named Chuck Wollery. There's a lot of other details to the show, but I won't get into them.

Two and two. Two and we'll be back in two and two. That was his famous thing. And what went on most of the time was that one or the other person would end up showing up at the other person's house to meet for the date. And on many occasions, like in between dinner and a movie or wherever they go.

I think they're south. Well, things go south and then they're stuck with each other basically for the rest of the evening. What amazes me is the ease at which people felt like it was okay to just invite someone else over to their house, even though they have really no clue who they are. I mean, yes, they've been vetted by a television production company, but that doesn't say anything.

The bad slow right was vetted. You know, those people are vetted by her. And it's all kind of crazy in it. You don't know who someone really is. Yeah. The other thing that amazes me is how many of these dates, they would go back to the house, like it would be a whole day date, right?

Oh yeah, they'd have like go to the beach. Yeah. And stuff, a lot of them. Like go to the beach. Then we're going to the gardens. Let me get you to the beginning. Yeah, yeah. They were working out there.

We're gonna go sailing in the morning. We're gonna go to the beach in the afternoon to botanical gardens and then there. They were working out there. We're going to go sailing in the morning. We're going to go to the beach in the afternoon to botanical gardens and that. They had a whole thing planned. It's like now it's like me meet the bar for a beer. I'll know in five seconds whether or not we're having sex later. So if they were going on one of these day dates, they would oftentimes end up back at that person's house to change and shower and do whatever.

Right. The incredible naivete of these people, I'm surprised it was never like the love connection murders or something. I really am. I know. I found some creepy ones. Maybe we'll do a whole show on it about the love connection because almost all of those are out there on YouTube somewhere and some of them are just clack. I mean, just so creepy.

The guys especially, they're so creepy sometimes. You should always be straightforward about seeing other people and being sexually active with other people, with holding that information and prevents what kind of relationship you are really looking for. I can agree with this one. You should definitely let them. Within the first three months, you should let them know at some point. How many other people you're dating? Oh my gosh. This is common courtesy. Yeah, what's the most amount of people you've dated

in one particular sitting? One sitting. No, I mean, you know, what's the same time? One night. In one night. Yeah, yeah, so many people have you dated in one night. What's your next? You mean like at the same time,

I've ever a course of a few months. Over at the same, in the same general time. Right, maybe. I like to, yeah. Yeah. It's kind of keeping it focused and then moving on if it wasn't right. I am nothing if I am not focused. And I mean, I think four is might be the,

like four, but you know, one of them loosely, like I didn't, I didn't, I didn't do nothing. Was there, yeah. I didn't even talking. Yeah, talking with our mouths together. Yeah. Talking with our mouths straight together. But at some point it just got, you can't do that.

No, you can't do that. I think most of the time in my life, it's only been one person. But there have been times when it's been multiple, but it just gets too much to remember. And then you're always really liking someone more than you're liking the other people. Of course. Always. It's never like, it's, I really like these two women, you know, exactly the same. There's always someone that's beating it out. It's like having children. They say you never have a favorite, but the truth is you probably always have a favorite. At least moment to moment. You should always be putting an equal effort, even if it's casual. If they want to call text and hang out with you, they would, they would make equal effort. Even if it's casual, if they want to call, text, and hang out with you, they would make it happen.

Even if you're just casually hooking up with someone, mutual respect and communication should still be the foundation, or things can go downhill real fast. Dating is supposed to be fun. You shouldn't feel like shit. Well, there you go. That's, there's some words of wisdom right there. Communication is key. Communication is key.

And nothing is worse in my opinion. Nothing is worse than dating someone and quickly figuring out that they are way more into you than you are to them. Yeah, that's tough. That is a tough one, right? That is tough. Because you and I've done this a couple times. The feelings of it would be heard.

Yeah, the feelings are all that's coming. It's always coming. You know, there's a lot of wishful thinking feelings are always coming. It's always coming. You know, there's a lot of wishful thinking going on. There's a lot of overcommunications. And then you get, you know, they're introducing to their parents. I've had that happen a couple times. They introduce you to their parents quickly.

Like, like, how many dates? Like, maybe four or five. What's the appropriate amount of dates before you should be introduced to a parent? I mean, not well, I guess more than that. Okay, I think six months. Yeah, I think months. I mean months.

Yeah, this isn't business. This shouldn't be a decision that's taken lightly. Right. You don't want to introduce someone to your parents. Indicates something. Because that's a whole thing. That's a whole ball of wax. Yeah, now you got your parents involved in the relationship.

Now, their opinions are like, good job. Yeah, they're like, good job. Or is that guy Brian? Then their opinion is kind of put in. He said he would pay the bill and then he left. He ordered a 1934 Shetto Marmah and said, Hey, Dad, you got this one? Your daughter likes me a lot more than I like her. So you got to step up to the plate, show me what you're working with, dad. I couldn't be persuaded otherwise. Yeah.

Hey, dad, you still got those tickets to the masters you were talking about five minutes ago? Because if that's the case. I'll take those and I've got a friend who wants the other one. Yeah, listen, I've got to be honest I'm dating four other women three of them. I like a whole lot more than I like your daughter Right, but she said my dad's rich come to the dinner and I thought to myself Well, I'm not as well go meet them and see if the money will persuade me otherwise Let's be honest dad. Let's cut to the bullshit. How much to marry your daughter?

How much money? Oh, and I've been there too. I've been on the other side of that coin too. I've liked someone way more than I, but I think, I mean, I don't know, I'm not, I'm nipatin'. I'm sure at the time I really wanted her to like me a lot more, but I think I do have a little bit of self-awareness. Like I pick up on signals pretty quickly.

It was just in my heart that I felt that, or you know, if wherever. And you're like something could really happen here. Something could pop. Never did. Never did. Months and months and months and months and months. The key is to not keep pursuing it. The key is to not grovel.

The key is to not beg for a second date. That's the key is to not gravel. All right. The key is to not beg for a second date. That's the key. Please. Does your dad have a private plane? Because I could be persuaded to go on a second date with you. But you're paying and your dad's flying me to Colorado tomorrow. Call him. Call him.

I want confirmation. CC me on the text. Yes. I remember I dated a young lady. I think you know the person. And it was just, it was, it was, it was two one-sided, right? It was two one-sided. And I think that weird on my ability to see clearly

about what was going on with the relationship. Because when you're not feeling it, 100%, you're not feeling it 100% and then if someone is feeling it 150%, it just kind of feels weird, right? It does. Now that was a whole source. And then they're just always kind of there or calling or contacting.

Calling, bothering. Yeah, and showing up at your house at three in the morning, sending unsolicited text messages of nasty nature. Okay, here's number nine, sexual boundaries need to be set. I understand it can be uncomfortable for some people, but it greatly improves sex lives and relationships. Say, what you're comfortable with,

well, and what's a no for you. And also let them know what you might be willing to try out. Sure. Yeah. That sounds reasonable. You want to bring a man into the bed? Yeah. Cook holding, cool in me. No problem. Yeah, whatever you're into, yeah, that's right.

You can throw it out there. See what stick. I mean, to watching 90 day fiance, what do you think about that? Is that a hard, no three years out of maybe? You willing to give it a try? Yeah. Makes the experience much better for me. I'm just saying I can do two things at once don't you worry I'll prove it to you wait bringing your other bringing the other guy you're dating into bed oh maybe is your dad rich

is your dad's to love those masters tickets maybe Plan for the first date to be short and sweet. I couldn't agree with this one more. And hour is a good amount of time for a meeting. That way, if neither of you is feeling deviled, the date is over. It comes to a natural conclusion. If you hit it off, plan a second date soon or keep the first one going.

Keep it going. Keep it going. Keep it rolling through. I've been on dates. This lasted through marriage. I want to date one time. She still has a left my house. No, I'm with this, but how do you communicate that clearly?

I'm not really sure. Yeah, I don't know. I'm on an hour time limit. Yeah, I don't know. I have surgery at 9.30. Yeah, I'd like to report to the hospital for surgery at 9.30. I don't know. Maybe we just meet for a drink and an appetizer. Yeah, because I mean, you know, I can already hear some of my friends who I know are single. I can already hear what

they would be saying, right? They'd be like, the girl, if the girl was like, Hey, listen, I can meet you at eight, but I got to be gone by nine. Right. They would be like, Oh, just another night. Let's do it another night. We have more time, right? And then what do you say to that? Like, I don't have any more time. I think at that time you just had to be clear. Listen, I plan my dates for an hour. We'll see what's going on after an hour. It's a check-in.

At 60 minutes, if I don't like you, I'm gonna get up at the table and leave. You're gonna pay the bill and that's gonna be a night. I'm ghosting you ahead of time. I'm letting you know, it just can potentially happen. If you're not down with it, cool. Let's just not go on the first day. You know what I'm letting you know that this could potentially happen. If you're not down with it, cool. Let's just not go on the first day. You know what I'm saying? But I can hear, you know, I can hear one person in particular in my head when we're talking about all of this. I think you know, I'm talking about, but I can hear him saying, you know,

don't worry about it. Let's go out another night. You know, whatever you got more time. I might even take it as kind of a slight like, you know, if some guy I was dating said or had not dated yet, it's the first date. And he says, look, I got an hour. Let's go. Yeah. I'm not thinking about it. That's a good rule, but how do you practically put that one into play?

I got an hour for you. I got you with eight. I got another girl at 930. So let's just hurry this up. I've never been ghosted during a date per se, but I have one occasion. I had a girl that got a cell phone call all of a sudden and then she had to go, right?

And so I took her hand. That was her friend calling. Yeah, that was her friend calling. But I think I had you text me a couple times too. I was like, all right, text me in an hour. And I'd be like, it's my mom. She can't figure out which channel judge Judy's on the whole thing. two, five, six, five, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, six, She's gonna take both of them and you'll pay for them, right? You're gonna drink them? I'll be out of here. I'll see you later. I gotta go. My mom. It's the whole thing.

Emergency. Don't ever make assumptions about contraception and protection. However consenting adults want to approach it is their business, but don't assume anyone is getting tested regularly on the pill, etc. Have that conversation beforehand. True. I mean, listen, since we were in the prime of our dating life, you know. Prime of our life.

Yeah. Prime of our lives makes me sound like. Now they're in the depths of despair. Back in 1922 when I was on the front side of the roller coaster hill. Outside of the mountain. That's right. Back when I was in the sunrise of my life, in the 30s, women used to put me go, mom. Now they show up and flannel pajamas. I don't get it.

There's another one. Don't show up in your pajamas. Yeah, I think, you know, know, it's always been a concern. There's never a time in history when it's not been a concern, contraception. Back in the Stone Age people, you know, women would die frequently after having a baby or the baby would die.

You know, this is a whole bunch of reasons why it makes sense. And this is a conversation that you should have, I agree a long time before it happens. So when you're planning out that date for an hour, I'd come in in the first 15 minutes and I just go right for it. I'd be like, so. As you wish, you got a rubber.

I'm so nervous. Are Gary when yourself, if you're a girl, be prepared. Yes, that's right. You know what, this brings up a good segue to something I also want to talk about inside of this conversation. There's a girl on TikTok. Her name is Eve.

Have you seen this TikTok video by Eve? There's TikTok video going around by a girl named Eve got like, I watch clicking tutorial on TikTok. Just don't ask me what I'm looking at all day long. 35 million views, 35 million views on a video where this girl Eve is explaining to, I think mainly women,

that you should have sex on the first date without any doubt. Just go ahead and get it done with. Yeah, she's like saying, it's a little aggressive. It is, yeah, I'm not sure I agree with the sentiment altogether. I guess she had one bad experience. She dated a guy for like, you know, three months, and then they finally had sex

and then some weird stuff happened and she wasn't into it. I don't want to get into all the nitty gritty's because we're here on fire side. But the reality is is she was telling people, like just go ahead and get it over with. Like you should know right away. No right away whether you had that compatibility and whether you're interested in that manner

or are compatible. Just get it out of the way, right? But the first date can also be super, like the first time with somebody is also gonna be maybe awkward. And you know, it could help to get to know some of that. In my case, the 200th time is awkward. I mean, that's an awkward the whole time.

Yeah, it's definitely gonna take this all the time. I got an hour, you got a rubber, let's get it. I'm off the tailed with my dog. Did it dog told me to do it? If you're in awkward sex, I'm the guy for you. You got a no-one in the world. I'm referring to a lot of stopping and starting and I got 90 and a fiance starts and 20 minutes. I also put an hour limit on awkward sex.

I'm just letting you know that. So I'm in doing contraception. Super important. Yes. Yes. Be honest when something isn't working for you. No matter how early or how late it is in the relationship, saying how you feel directly is always the best policy.

A great investor. Otherwise, and now you're like, that father's man, I don't really want to, but. I know. Therein to it. And maybe, no, but it bothers you. I have some advice for the kids. This is my advice for the kids.

Uncle Brian. Uncle Brian. Uncle Brian, come and do you live from the commercial break. Uncle Brian. Uncle Brian coming to you. Oh, I'm a Brian from the commercial break. Oh, Brian. It's such a creepy day. But many years ago, some of my friends gave me the term Uncle Brian. I don't know why there were no, you know, I don't have children. They didn't have children, but they just started calling me Uncle Brian for whatever reason. I think it was a Venezuelans that started this.

They started calling me Uncle Brian, but oh, as over the last three years, I've requested that people stop calling me that because I think it sounds strange. Hey, Uncle Brian, that's a few people who don't call me. It's a term of indierment. It is. Anyway, I have some advice for the kids. Uncle Brian has some advice for the kids. Don't ghost people.

It's not appropriate. And it's not a way you're going to have to add some point. Just have that conversation. If you're going to have an active sex or dating life, you're going to, at some point, have to have uncomfortable conversations. Mine is, we'll get some practice with it, right? Number one, number two, I guarantee, no matter how pissed or mad or upset, you think someone's going to be, they're going to be doubly mad, pissed and upset and hurt if you don't say

anything to them ever again. Even if you have to say it's not you, it's me. Just do it. Let's say it. Have a great life. You're a great person. You can be true. You're working without being hurtful.

Yeah. You do it quickly too. Just with some responses better than no. Listen, I improve. You can do it quickly in the bed and outside the bed. Here's the thing. And if you're in the middle of a date, certainly don't ghost somebody. Here's what you do. You get Chrissy or your best friend to call

you and you excuse yourself because of some kind of, if you're in some kind of dangerous situation, you tell the bartender obviously, but we're not talking about that. We're talking about a bad date, just a weird date, just an awkward date, right? You just go up to him and you say the following words. I forgot to press record on my 90 day fiance. I'm going to have to him and you say the following words. I forgot to press record on my 90 day fiance. I'm gonna have to let you go. That's it. That's all you need to say.

Listen, I know the dating is complicated and it's full of landmines and there's a lot of stuff that people have to remember and things you gotta work through. By the way, I have reams and reams of this material. Like we can probably make another episode about this because it just goes on and on forever. People, people dating advice. I feel sorry. There's not one thing that fits all for everybody. If there were, there would be a right way to be getting married and finding their correct person for the rest of their lives. Yeah, I mean the dating is just one of those shit shows. We all have to go. There's a lot of fish. It's not the motion. Oh, wait, it's not the motion of the ocean. It's the potion in the lotion

How was the old saying? It's not the way the boat rocks. It's the ocean. I don't think lotion. I thought it was the motion of the lotion I thought it was not the mo not the ocean in the motion. It's the motion of the lotion. I'm not sure I don't know. It's a big world out there is what I'm saying. I Just turn the music on you. Sorry, God. The big world out there eats to their own. Okay, just ate it over. Thanks, Chrissy. I gotta go. It's been an hour. Talk you later.

The big world out there. I don't know. You're right. It's the big world out there. Your person's out there. It is. Your person is out there. Man, woman, it, whatever. He's see them. right. It's a big world out there. Your person's out there. It is. Your person is out there. Man, woman, it, whatever he sees them, whoever. It's out there. By definition.

Just be kind. Be kind. By definition, 99.9% of all of the dating that you will do in your life will not work out. It's just that small percentage that does work out and ends up being something long term and magical. Everything can be magical. But if you're talking about marriage or a long term committed relationship or partnership

or what a court ship or whatever it is, that doesn't come around very often. So just have fun with the dating. Don't feel uncomfortable in your single, either. Where do you order? Where do you order? It's all I gotta say. Where do you order? You know who I'm talking to.

You know I'm talking about. Okay. That's all I gotta say. Where are deodorant? Yes. You know who I'm talking to. You know what I'm talking about. Okay. So tons of makeup. Listen, we've been live on Fireside. Thank you Fireside for joining us. Yes. Or thank you Fireside for having us.

Right. Chrissy, I don't know how much more I can do today. I think that's it. I love you. I love you. Best to you. Best to you. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

And Fireside, until next time, Chrissy and I must bid you a do and we always say bye! The commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays, new YouTube clips dropped daily at youtube.com slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. www.bapodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the Commercial Break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Houdley, with you you