The Commercial Break - Welcome To My Screened-In Bedroom!

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

Bryan and Krissy discuss their love for Norm McDonald, a true loss to the world of comedy and entertainment. Then Bryan recalls the time he lived in a screened in porch. Not to be bothered with things... like heat, AC or bed he would rather party! Finally the gang reviews some of the cheapest humans on earth and their dating habits. It's dinner for two with one plate on this Episode! LINKS: Want a TCB limited edition collectible sticker? Each series sticker is limited and first come, first serve. Click HERE to find out how! Or send a text or voicemail to 661-Best-2-Yo (1.661.237.8296) Watch this episode on Youtube TCBTV-minus Sponsor DBSAlliance For Mental Health Help Magic Spoon (Use Code TCB) FUM (Use Code TCB) Smokeless Pipe for Smoking Sesation MEMPHO Music Fest (Oct 1st-3rd 2021) Castbox is the TCB partner for the Mempho Fest shows Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: 1-(661)-BEST-2-YO  | (1-661-237-8296) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And welcome back to WSH IT. Every Sunday we join Pastor Larry Schronker as he mumbles to the Lord in tongues that is Yes, Lord, have your way, have your oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Touch the situation by the power of God. Touch the situation by the power of the Holy Ghost. Let us pray to Gornk indeed. Touch the situation by the power of God. Touch the situation by the power of Gornk. The power of Gornk. The power of Gornk. Absolutely inspirational, Pastery. We'll be back after this, break. Fly from Detroit, the Jeff DeWaskin Show. As always, I am your host, Jeff DeWaskin. I know you love listening to my podcast and thank you so much, but I do want you to check out the commercial break.
Starting point is 00:01:37 It's another great podcast with my friend Brian and Chrissy. They do it twice a week every week and they're good friends of the show. Brian's regular guest on crossing the streams, but definitely check them out and get them on your podcast rotation list. On this episode of the commercial break. But then one day, I was sitting in my father's office and he was watching Comedy Central and up popped a set from Norm McDonald. Where he did a joke, a very long joke
Starting point is 00:02:10 that he set up the premise was, you know, what if your neighbor for Halloween pretended to be an ax murderer, but then really went murdered everybody and then pulled off the mask as a joke, right? It was very macabre joke. Right. And I don't not sure how the audience got it, but I thought that delivery was so fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:02:31 He was very loud. And I laughed out loud, I'll never forget thinking to myself, like this is the moment when I think comedy or being funny is a, is a noble profession. I'm a Zumba dance instructor. and I'm an extreme cheap skate. Zumba dance instructor. Everybody's all into Zumba. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Is that it? I've taken it. My Astrid's gonna do a few classes. Yeah, it's pretty fun. Yeah, and she's like at the gym, and then I'll go to the gym with her, and I'll work out. I mean, when we actually had time to work out. But she was behind the glass and doing the whole Zumba thing, and she said, you should come in and join me.
Starting point is 00:03:03 There's like, there's other guys. I saw those other guys. Oh, sorry, thank you. Did you want to try some of those? No, that's okay. Are you sure? Yeah, there's a little off there. I mean, is it one rib?
Starting point is 00:03:17 Did he say it, he would have tried. Did you want to try? Nice. Something in. I love the bone for you, do you want it? It's the best part. There's no love there. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Another episode of the commercial break. Good day to you. Best of you, Chrissy Hosey. Best of you, Brian Green. Best of you out there on the podcast universe. I hope everyone is doing well. Welcome to another episode of the commercial break. I start on kind of a somber note today because just some time ago, I mean, depending on when this runs, but we're just learning about Norm McDonald's and his, the end of his
Starting point is 00:04:04 fight, I guess a long fight With cancer. Yeah, it's sad when I was a young man Comedy central rolled out and comedy central probably back in like the very late 80s comedy central was a channel and Just kind of popped on our cables, you know our basic cable package. They only ran And just kind of popped on our cables, you know, our basic cable package. They only ran stand-up acts. They did, that's right. Three or four minute bits from stand-up acts over and over again, from like the comedy store and the punchline.
Starting point is 00:04:33 And wherever, I mean, these recorded sets that these comedians were doing. They weren't doing specials. It wasn't from Dave Letterman. It wasn't any of that shit. It was just literally three or four minutes of a comic like a music video like MTV played music videos And I'm sure that was the concept that was pitched at first at least is you know MTV for Comedience we're gonna put these little three or four minutes that sets together It would say the name at the bottom where they were where it had been recorded
Starting point is 00:04:58 Went and had been recorded and then on to the next one and then on to the next one 24 hours a day seven days a week for many, many months on end. If not a year, I don't know for however. But when it came on at first, I would tune in every once in a while between watching MTV is very young, like maybe 12 years old. I would tune in every once in a blue moon.
Starting point is 00:05:16 But then one day, I was sitting in my father's office and he was watching Comedy Central and up popped a set from Norm McDonald. Where he did a joke, a very long joke that he set up the premise was, what if your neighbor for Halloween pretended to be an ax murderer, but then really went and murdered everybody
Starting point is 00:05:38 and then pulled off the mask as a joke, right? It was a very macabre joke. Right. And I don't not sure how the audience got it, but I thought that delivery was so fucking funny. And I laughed out loud, I'll never forget, thinking to myself, like this is the moment when I think comedy or being funny
Starting point is 00:05:56 is a noble profession. Is this guy made me laugh out loud, like really tickled me with this particular very, like weird and dark joke and the way that he delivered it. And of course, we all remember him from Saturday Night Live, the best weekend update pod. The best weekend update or that had ever lived.
Starting point is 00:06:15 The thing with Norm is though he had many television shows, no one ever really knew what to do with him. So all the television shows, while he was super funny, they were always canceled, none of the audience got it, right? He ended up being the best talk show guest that ever lived for sure without a doubt. Anytime he was on a talk show, I wanted to see it because he was just going to be so fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:06:35 Yeah, he's so witty, quick. Yeah, I think he will be one of those. But deadpan, kind of, so yeah. So deadpan. And what else I liked about Norm was he laughed at himself. Every joke that he told, he giggled under his breath a little bit You know, he'd tell a joke and maybe like He was laughing at himself. He was laughing
Starting point is 00:06:52 I think the trend nowadays with some comedians is they laugh at you, right? They're smarter than you are they tell the joke and and they're funny because they're more intelligent than the crowd Norm was never like that. I think he they're more intelligent than the crowd. Norm was never like that. I think he understood that some of his stuff was weird and he giggled because he knew it was funny and he was just waiting for you to catch up with it, right? So he was laughing with you and not at you.
Starting point is 00:07:14 And I always like that Norm didn't take himself too seriously. I think Norm is probably will go down as one of those people who was not recognized in his time enough. He should have been way more popular than he ever was. Now that he's passed away, everybody's coming out of the woodwork and talking about what a genius he was, but I didn't see a lot of those people saying the same thing
Starting point is 00:07:34 when he was alive. And I mean, not that they should have. I mean, I'm not trying to, you know, I'm not trying to, I don't know, I'm trying to, to pour gasoline on a fire. I'm just saying that I think Norm was so underrated, I think he's one of the best comedians that ever lived.
Starting point is 00:07:48 I think he will be remembered as one of the best comedians that ever lived. He is a true original. Like there is no one else out there like him, RIP, Norm, McDowell. Absolutely. And he will be sorely missed. And yeah, that's all I gotta say.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Well, I was watching, I was to say one more thing, I was watching the last time he was on David Letterman, which was like the last week of Letterman. And I had never seen Norm ever get emotional about anything. He was always very goofy and silly. And he was never really emotional. Like I never seem to cry or anything. Nothing, he would, he's a stand up comic.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Why would you see him cry? Right. But when he was saying goodbye to Dave, when he at the very end of his set, he talked about how when he's 13 years old, he saw Dave do stand up. And he found just like I'm saying about Norm, he said about Dave, I was 12 years old, I saw this joke and I remember thinking that is the funniest thing I've ever heard. And it made me want to be a comic, right? And when as he was telling this story, he started to cry. He got very choked up. And, uh, you know, I don't know. It's just sad. It's really sad. And to fight cancer for 10 years without telling anybody, it's a pretty noble thing to do. I know. Oh my God. Yeah, I guess he didn't want to make it a big deal. He didn't want people to get stressed about it. Yeah. I'm not sure even the people who were closest to him knew. Apparently, they didn't, because
Starting point is 00:09:05 they're all like, wow, I had no idea that Norm was fighting cancer for 10 years. Fuck cancer. And onward and upward, Norm, you will certainly be remembered by me here and us here at the commercial break. Hey guys, I wanted to let you know that this episode is sponsored in part by DBS Alliance. I've told a lot of stories about when I was younger, I worked in the restaurant industry for many years. The restaurant industry is full of characters and oftentimes can be rough around the edges
Starting point is 00:09:31 when it comes to drugs and alcohol, which can take its toll on your mental health. But it's also a place where there's a lot of love, and oftentimes a restaurant crew can be considered your second family because you spend so much time there. That's exactly what happened with a dear friend of mine that passed away just about a decade ago from suicide. He actually jumped off of a building and I kept thinking to myself and I keep thinking to myself if I just had had the opportunity to sit down with this young man and have one more conversation I know for a fact that I could have talked him out of jumping off that building. We were that close. DBS Alliance is trying to bring awareness to this fact.
Starting point is 00:10:09 Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US amongst all age groups. It's estimated that one in five Americans may deal with mental illness problem, and about 20.9 million Americans have a mood disorder. Depression and bipolar support alliance provides free support groups, wellness tools, and inspirational stories to guide you on your path to holistic mental health wellness. My friend is not alone. On average, there are 130 suicides a day. Think about that, 130 people, and it's probably more during the pandemic.
Starting point is 00:10:44 Middle-aged and older adults have a higher rate of suicide than adolescents and young adults, but it's a problem amongst all age groups and growing amongst younger children. Women are 1.4 times more likely to attempt suicide and men are 3.6 times more likely to die by suicide. So, how can we help? Well, there's a couple things that we can do. First of all, if you think something is off with one of your friends or family members, reach out and say something.
Starting point is 00:11:10 If you feel like something is off with yourself, reach out and say something. And reach out to learn more about how you can start conversations about mental health and suicide in your community by visiting dbsaliance.org slash suicide-prevention. That again, dbsaliance.org slash suicide-prevention. I know a lot of us out there feel the same way. If we had just had one more opportunity to talk to that person, we might have saved our lives. This is your opportunity to start that conversation.
Starting point is 00:11:42 dbsaliance.org slash suicide dash prevention. Thanks so much to dbsaliance for being a sponsor of this program, and please reach out if you need help. So on to the show, www.tcbpodcast.com, as you can read more about Chrissy and I. Watch all the video, listen to all the audio, and if you would, at the commercial break, if you'd like to jump in on our next contest We're in some cold hard cash or what we that we may start TCB coin. I might start an altcoin. Oh good Yeah, that's all the fed that's all the rage these days the pump and dump schemes with your own altcoin
Starting point is 00:12:15 So I figured you know, there's a good scam going on. We might as well get in on it too We said well, I'm gonna start the TCB good monster hunters Yeah, I'm monster hunters ASMR. We're becoming we're gonna look into T.C. We're gonna get on that Monster Hunters. Yeah, I'm Monster Hunters ASMR. We're becoming, we're gonna look into that. Get rich, get loose, get, you know, get poor, quick real estate, squeeze schemes. Get more, I want to make money on all of it.
Starting point is 00:12:36 On all of it. So go to tcbpodcast.com. That's where you're picking up with this. And happy holidays to you too, yes. And yeah, I know I'm sorry, I started on such a somber note, but I thought something needed to be said. Yeah, every once in a while, I guess we can be serious. You know, my brother-in-law always tells me,
Starting point is 00:12:53 he's like, you guys are always trying to be, but you guys are always so funny. Like it's always funny, it's always on, right? He's like, you know, you don't have to always be funny. Like you can actually talk about shit. And I'm like, no one wants to hear what I have to fucking say about anything. And he's like, I know, you don't have to always be funny. Like, you can actually talk about shit. And I'm like, no one wants to hear what I have to fucking say about anything. And he's like, I think you'd be surprised.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Yeah, what's your, you know, that's true. I'm not gonna, I'm gonna start talking about mass or vaccinations anytime soon. No, sir, you bops. You go to add to commercial break, follow us because we have a new contest coming up. You'll find more about that on Instagram and here on the show. We'll give you more details in the upcoming week.
Starting point is 00:13:26 661 Best 2 Yo, that's 661, the word best, the number 2, why? Oh, we just have this big discussion about why not best to you. And I'm like, it is actually best to you, but people were having a hard time figuring out that if you type it into your cell phone, yeah, the cell phone doesn't recognize it like the old phone. Like the old phone. Yeah, if you would have dialed it like the old phone. Yeah, if you would have dialed it into a rotary phone, you would have been just fine. I want to dialed you right the fire. Yes, but the truth is, it's gone ahead and gone. It's bad planning on my
Starting point is 00:13:53 purpose. It's the close thing. I like best to yo. Okay, best to yo, the ST, the number two, Y, O, 661, best to yo. If you buy a product or a service from one of our sponsors You can send us a screenshot to that same number you can text message that same number and we with your name and address and we will send you out a TCB collectible sticker. We are on series number one. It's a memfo sticker will also be at memfo coming up on October 1st through the 3rd October October of 2021 in case you're listening to this far into the future. Yeah. And come find us. If you are, what's it like? Because like in the future.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Send a text message. Tell us. Come back. Is it everything you thought? Probably not. It's probably a fucking time capsule. We should do like a time capsule. Yeah, that's not a bad idea.
Starting point is 00:14:41 We do like a commercial break time capsule. We could at least just make it a year long, you know, say what do we think next year is going to be like or something like that, not a bad idea. We could do like a commercial break time capsule. We could at least just make it a year long, say what do we think next year's gonna be like, or something like that, I don't know. We could, we could like, you know what, that's a good idea. That's a good idea. We'll do a show, we'll do like a show time capsule,
Starting point is 00:14:55 where we say, in a year what's gonna be going on? We'll give ourselves, yeah, we'll give our guesses. We'll talk about what's gonna be going on in politics, what's gonna be going on in politics. What's gonna be going on in, you know, pop culture, world affairs, technology. Yes. What else? Sex with dolls.
Starting point is 00:15:12 Let's look at it. What's that game? Or you choose the category, it's not life, but trivial pursuit. trivial pursuit. We'll just go with those calories. Okay, that's not a bad idea. I like that idea.
Starting point is 00:15:24 So I was gonna to say speaking of time capsule, my wife was up there cleaning out the attic with my with my brother-in-law. And there's just a bunch of shit up there. We've traveled from one house to the other. That traveled with me from like my teenage age all the way to here. And stuff that I never looked at. Oh my god. I didn't want to throw away. I just recently had to do that for my dad's house. And it was, you're looking at stuff from when you were 17. I know. Which I'm guessing you just did.
Starting point is 00:15:48 I came across gold. Oh, for the TCB crowd. Let me tell you what I found. I found hours and I mean hundreds of tapes, the blank cassettes. Yeah. Of me playing guitar and singing into the cassette tape recorder. Just you, just you want a guitar? Me, me and this guy, me and that girl, me and this person.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Many of these are drug-induced and I, so I know when my voice is like three octaves higher that it's me on cocaine and I know when I'm slurring it's me hammered and then there's times I'm sure, you know, like I'm a wisdom teeth out. I'm probably all, uh,, bike down or something like that. That was not lyric. Hey, we should play this game when we were, like, just high as shit, we would play this game where it would be, I do a lyric, you do a lyric, right?
Starting point is 00:16:35 I'll start playing guitar and I do a lyric, you do a lyric, we write it down and we'll make a song. Yeah. And one of my houses, we had a white board. We like, lift me in this guy named Dave, we, we lived in the screened in porch of a one bedroom apartment. Really? Dave and I did.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Oh, we shared a bedroom. We shared a bedroom. We shared a porch. I was on the floor. He had a little cot, like a military cot. And then inside the house, we were like, when you open the screen door to go, so old, rain, snow, whatever, we lived through it. And then inside the house we were like when you open the screen door to go so
Starting point is 00:17:10 Old rain snow whatever we lived through it. We slept there on that floor No matter what happens so some nights were freezing fucking cold Some nights you basically had to sleep in the nude and fan your nuts off I mean it was so hot when you walked in the screen door or or and when you the entrance of the screen porch was this tiny little kitchen at Right, and then we put a big whiteboard up there and we used to write lyrics to songs on the right whiteboard or in the entrance to the screen porch was this tiny little kitchenette, right? And then we put a big whiteboard up there. And we used to write lyrics to songs on the whiteboard when we were so snowed out, we didn't even know what the fuck was going on.
Starting point is 00:17:33 And I found some of those tapes, those things. This sounds like a great story for behind the music. Oh, it's behind the cocaine is what it is. Behind the cocaine. I am gonna be- How are you living on a board? Well, because cocaine. What prompted you to live on a screen porch?
Starting point is 00:17:52 Cocaine! It was a great idea. It came in one night. Cocaine! I don't know. I don't even know. This guy named Booty. His name was Booty. Booth. His name was Booth. I don't want to give his first name away but we called him booty like he was oh it was a big old Texas boy and he just was like who's those two fucking rats even in my he didn't care as long as we paid him the hundred dollars a month or whatever yeah it was it was it was crazy
Starting point is 00:18:21 that I got in place it It's my porch. It's my porch. There's a roof for two. It's been to the screened in forage. We were so obnoxious. We'd be up all night long playing guitar, snorting lines and drinking Bud lights. There'd be Bud light cans all over the place. I mean, we're like 21 years old. There's no responsibility in us whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:18:44 And this guy actually had a fiance at one time. He moved here at one time. At one time. That's right. He would go over to her house all the time. That's why I think why we didn't get bothered. Then there was another guy who lived in the apartment too, but he also had a bad drinking problem.
Starting point is 00:19:00 And he slept at the bar some nights. We opened and closed the bar. So listen to this. So the guy they see Thomas forget about pets they've got you guys and people would like go out to the woods to walk their dogs and we'd be out there fucking guitar and fartingasing office came to him, and he had taken it from Texas,
Starting point is 00:19:46 and it had been there for like nine months, and it was this old Toyota truck, like one of the dinky little Toyota trucks, you know, I'm taller than the Toyota truck, right? Just a horrible piece of shit truck, but I did not have a car. And more. So it was grand.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Nor did I have a license, but at least not one that I had like on my person. I had lost it many years earlier. So the leasing office comes one day and then you know that I can hear them talking you know booties kind of getting all riled up and he's like fine I'll get you know whatever comes back and he's like I get to get I got to get rid of the fucking truck with the blue tarp you know neighbors are complaining and I'm like I'll take it and he's like you'll buy it and complaining. And I'm like, I'll take it. And he's like, you'll buy it. And I was like, I'll buy it. And he goes, how much you buy it for?
Starting point is 00:20:28 And I was like, 200? And he's like, 300 and you got a deal. I bought a Toyota truck for $300. Okay. So we go outside the next day and we take off the tarp and it's a piece of shit. And it's got mold all over it. And the seats are coming off.
Starting point is 00:20:40 And there's not even, the radio doesn't work. So I have to put like a boom box in there so I can play my cassettes. And it's a stick shift, which I barely know how to drive. So, he goes, Brian, I took this from Texas nine months ago, and the three years previous to that, it had been on a farm, and I never once got an oil change in it. Never once changed the oil.
Starting point is 00:21:01 You must change the oil. First thing you should do, change the oil. Go get the oil changed. Six weeks later, I am driving down the highway and I literally put a rod through the roof of the hood of the car. Boink, a rod came up through it because the engine seized up and the rod broke
Starting point is 00:21:21 that whatever and the thing broke, that whatever. Boink. And I was just like, you should, it was the most awful noise I've ever heard. Clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, clack, and I managed to roll up one of the exits and I find a pay phone and I call and I'm like, you know, I'm like, hey man, I'm not paying for this car
Starting point is 00:21:38 because I hadn't given them the money yet. I'm like, I'm not paying for this car, just broke. And he's like, did you get an oil change? And I'm like, I was gonna do that today. Yeah, it's on my way. I was on my way. He's like, it's nine o'clock at night. I was like, but I was on my way back
Starting point is 00:21:51 from the drug dealer's house. Poor booty, he suffered us fools. And I mean, just, wow. What am I gonna say? I was 21 years old and we're, we're all, none of us are proud of our past. And some of us aren't proud of our present, but I try.
Starting point is 00:22:10 I have been digging deep in the anals of the internet. As you do. As I do. And I wanted to bring attention to something that I think is kind of like a, I know it may be a disturbing thing that's going on out there in the world. You know there's these like extreme coup honours, right?
Starting point is 00:22:26 Okay, we'll get to that in a future episode. But there are people who take it a step further. They call themselves extreme cheap skates. Okay. And what they do is they try and save a penny every single place that they go or pick up a penny, every single place that they go. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:43 They will do things like never use electricity, except when they have to walk in the hallway at night, they might flip on the light for like five seconds just to see where they're going. Right, they never use the air conditioning. They've sold their air conditioning unit to someone else, or they dumpster dive for everything that they eat or they take home.
Starting point is 00:23:02 They ask other people if they're eating, you know, you go to like the food court at the mall and you're done with your food and you have a couple bites of your cheeseburger left and they come over and they go, are you done with that cheeseburger? And then you say yes and they take it from you, right? They're like, okay, can I have that? I guess. I'm just going to throw it away. These people do crazy things to save a dollar, crazy things. I think it's kind of disturbing, but some people just live like this. This is, you know, they're... Yeah, it's a fine line, I think, you know, because I do, I like to turn off the lights when
Starting point is 00:23:32 I leave a room. I like to, you know, generally be good for you. Thanks, Thanos. Go for Thanos. I don't even think we'd run that episode yet. Which is probably confusing you guys, but there's an episode where we call the Thanos, and this is Thanos. Good for you. Thanks, Thanos. We appreciate it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Yeah, I mean, I can understand turning off the lights when you're in the house. Yeah, it can be coming up session, then I could see how it would be. Like my dad when I was a kid. I know it. Yeah. Oh, like we'd be all day. Because I do, I get mad about that too, like in our refrigerator, Jeff, the Jeff and the kids, they want bananas. Every time I go to the grocery store and I get the bananas and the bananas go brown,
Starting point is 00:24:19 I'm not getting the bananas anymore, guys. Jeff, you're listening. Not getting the bananas anymore. You don't eat them and I hate throwing away food. So I can kind of see where it can go. Take it to set up too far. Yeah, I think so. I agree with you.
Starting point is 00:24:34 I remember when I was a kid, my dad bordered on this because he wouldn't turn on the air conditioning. He turned on what was called the whole house fan. The fan. Which is the fan in the ceiling. I ever had fans. That would just suck in air from the, and it would suck in 90s.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Yeah, central fan, we called it a whole house fan. And it would just suck in, I remember, we would go to the lake. It would like sweating. I know. But there's a breeze, but you're sweating. So what ended up happening is everybody and got a fan in the room.
Starting point is 00:25:02 We had the whole house fan, and then everyone had one of those little box fans that sat on the floor in their room, and we all end up laying in front of them, you know, during the middle of the night, because it was just so hard. I know when my dad would think this whole house fan was just like the cat's dick.
Starting point is 00:25:15 I mean, he was just like, he was so impressed with himself that he didn't use the air conditioning. And I love my dad. Another thing that commonly happened is we'd all get in the car. He is enjoying a nice retirement right now, isn't he? He's a minute. He's the air conditioning and I love my dad. Another thing that commonly happened is we'd all get in the car. He is enjoying a nice retirement right now, isn't he? He's a minute.
Starting point is 00:25:28 He's a minute. He's got lots of money. I, on the other hand, not a minute. And I've got seven lights going on in the studio for a show that no one watches. So he, one of the things that would happen frequently, we all pack in the car to go somewhere, and my dad would not be in the car because he would be running around the house
Starting point is 00:25:52 making sure that every electrical thing was unplugged or turned off. And then we get home and we have to go around plugging everything back in and turning on the lights. I guess with four boys, you have to watch your pennies, but these people take it to the extreme extreme. And so I've got a couple of examples of that. If you'd like to listen,
Starting point is 00:26:06 and you know what I'm saying, if you'd like to listen, I'm gonna play it anyway. Thank you, I have a choice. You're here. That's the whole point of the fucking show, Brian. I like that you get my buy-in. Yeah, it's good to get my buy. I want to make sure that we have.
Starting point is 00:26:19 It might be a time I say, uh-uh, that's a, I have said it about a couple things. Yeah, there's a couple things, but I agreed with you on those because then we got into it. We were like, and this is weird. There's a couple episodes that you all will never hear because when I recorded the bit, when I started thinking about the episode, I put it together, it was funny in my mind, but as it started to play out, it was just either borderline creepy, racist or just ended
Starting point is 00:26:44 up being something that just didn't play well or that we didn't agree with. We were like, okay, that's enough of that. But cheapskate, I think we didn't all agree on. No, we can make it fun. Yeah, we were both like, you can do anything like that. The ASMR video was almost like that. The little 11 year old who was going to knock people out and take a picture of them.
Starting point is 00:27:04 Oh my god, go back and listen a picture of them. Oh my God. Go back and listen to the ASMR video. That is really, really strange. That being said, we're going to start our own channel or on ASMR video. We're going to have our own ASMR. There's going to be... We're going to have a video. There are going to be compartmentiums to our actual episodes.
Starting point is 00:27:19 So we might do an ASMR video episode about ASMR. We also might append that with an actual ASMR video or we might listen to Bigfoot Hunters. We also may go out and change and try to with rides back yard. That's right. That's what the telling word is. We're gonna be on secret location.
Starting point is 00:27:40 All right, this is in the Cheapskates. We'll get into it and here we go. I don't know what this is, but cheap, cheap skates. We'll get into it. And here we go. I don't know what this is, but it's a cheap skate. I love the happy music that comes along with this. My name's Greg Enscot. I'm 29 years old. I've lived in Cincinnati, Ohio, all my life.
Starting point is 00:27:58 I'm a Zumba dance instructor, and I'm an extreme cheap skate. Zumba dance instructor. Everybody's all into Zumba. It's fun. I've taken it. My Astrid's gonna do a few classes. Yeah, it's pretty fun. Yeah, and she's like at the gym and then I'll go to the gym
Starting point is 00:28:12 with her and I'll work out. I mean, one we actually had time to work out. But she was behind the glass and doing the whole Zumba thing and she said, you should come in and join me. There's like, other guys. I saw those other guys. I think I tried to get Jeff and Joey to.
Starting point is 00:28:28 And he's like, now I was like, I do not have a unit or. I do not have a skin type unit or I know one guy literally was wearing a skin type unit art. It was like 70. His ball each ball. One ball was on each side of his leg And then his dick was just like breathing straight out you know what I'm saying like there's little small dicks are just kind of like No, it looks like a little button. Yeah, it's like a button you push
Starting point is 00:28:58 Push here for fun What's Zumba what's Zumba I't know, push my button and find out. Anyway. I'll do a clinical study anytime I can, those pay really good money. I really want to buy this low rider and I had to get $3,500 somehow. I got really lucky.
Starting point is 00:29:18 The clinical study that I found online was paying the same amount. I had to put, oh wait, man, my butt, but I got a car out of it. Uh-huh. Nothing like our Zoom-Answer to roll in up in a low rider. Nothing like your Zoom-Answer to struck or having oily stuff leak out of his leotard
Starting point is 00:29:33 while your Zoom-Answer is struck, dang. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, man, you got some discharge there. Yeah. That's just a clinical study. I mean, don't worry about that. It smells pretty bad. I think there's blood a clinical study. I mean, don't worry about that. It smells pretty bad. I think there's blood in there somewhere. You might want to check that out.
Starting point is 00:29:50 That's a clinical study. Hey, man, there's literally a whole burning in your leotard right now. I have a clinical study. That's just where we inject herpes directly in our assholes. Yeah, this is the story of it. We're so grateful. We're so grateful. Yeah, it's for the safety.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Good of all human kind. That's why they were paying 35 cents. That's right. I can't sit or shit anymore. I have to shit out of his bag. But man, I got my car. I got my low rider. Yes, you did. So it was well worth it. I have to shit out of his back, but man, I got my car. I got my low rider.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Yes, you did. So, it was well worth it. I'll do anything to make a fuck. You just use the window squeegees? Have you heard of old-nie fans? And you can really wash your whole car with it. I don't know who would spend money on a car wash when you can wash it yourself right here.
Starting point is 00:30:42 So, if you can't get the visual there, but what he did was he pulled up to the gas station and had the squeegees with the water that's like, you know, half trucker piss. I'm just using that to have him do it as low rider. He was washing his letter-eye with the squeegees. Only under the most brutal of circumstances do I ever pull out that wall? Well, I know it's dirty. I worked at the gas station and never once in my one year of working at the gas station
Starting point is 00:31:04 did anybody ever change or ask me to change that one. Yeah, now. Ever. It just happened to be there all the time. It's like people were pissing in it or something, I'm not sure. Hi, welcome to my condo.
Starting point is 00:31:17 I got pretty lucky. One of the ladies from Zumba said, Hey, my grandpa just passed away if you want to live in our condo for free. In return. It's booty. It's booty's mom. You got the floor greened in boards.
Starting point is 00:31:33 This is spaces of boards. I'm supposed to move her lawn, but you know, you can't beat free rent. I agree with that. That I agree with. This is all from when the guy passed away. He left it all here. I didn't have any furniture.
Starting point is 00:31:47 It worked out nice. These are my roommates. You got Raj and Kevin here. Wait, he's living with a grandma. What a brooch. What a brooch. What up Kevin? This is my roommate, Brian.
Starting point is 00:31:59 How's it going in a dead grandma's house? These are my roommates from the screened in porch, Dave and Brian. What's up, guys? Cocaine. That's what's up. With all that money we spent on cocaine, we probably could have been living in a really nice. Oh, yeah, with both with central AC and walls.
Starting point is 00:32:23 When it rained, everything got wet. I just want to let you know that. Dave's bed would just be so good like his coverage would just be so. But he wouldn't care. He'd be like, it'll dry out in the morning. Yeah, that would be. He'd be out there with a hair dryer. It's painful bringing women back to the apartment because furniture is everything. It's embarrassing. This place definitely smells like old people. I don't know how much great it pays for the apartment, but I do know that Kevin and I pay a pretty fair amount. It's a large three bedroom pot. Oh, he's making money on something for him.
Starting point is 00:32:54 He's getting for free. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's not a their business what he's paying for, but at the end of the day, they're gonna see this video and be like, Hey, hey, first of all, we want walls. Hey, Kev, we watched your TLC episode. We were really impressed with how much money you've saved. We want out of the screened in porch. We want walls. We want out of the screened in porch into the kitchenette area. That's what it did in the real cold winter months.
Starting point is 00:33:26 This ended up sleeping under the kitchen at. So I knew I'd be able to take my roommates with me and charge them rent even though I'm a little free. This is the kitchen. All right, where to begin? There's no point in paying for anything that you should get. I agree. I agree. I agree.
Starting point is 00:33:45 For free in life. I never spend money on condiments. Anytime you go to a restaurant, just take extra when you're there. No, okay. All right, good fun. A lot of people do that. I have a bunch of Chick-fil-A barbecue sauce.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Yeah, I do too. Yeah. I would never pay for paper plates or any kind of plate really. You got lucky, I got these from my nephew's birthday party. To save money on cups, I got these from my nephew's birthday party. To save money on cups, I actually reuse yogurt cups. I got this from my grandma.
Starting point is 00:34:10 This way they're all labeled, everybody knows who's cups who's, but if we get a guess, I actually give them the yogurt cups. I'm trying to picture because we like little chabonis. Yeah, the little yogurt, the little like. And then there's also the yo-play, which are taller. So is he going with the taller ones? And now I think I don't know. They have a lip on them. I didn't watch. Yeah, they have yogurt, the little like. And then there's also the yo-play, which are taller. So is he going with the taller ones? And now I think I don't know. They have a lip on them.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I didn't watch. Yeah, they have a lip on them. Well, I mean, that's so you don't spill on yourself. Oh my god. Oh my god. But you have a guest come over. They're like, hey, you know, can I get a slice of that cake? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:39 No problem. Got it out of the dumpster. If you go ahead and get yourself a Spider-Man styrofoam plate from the dishwasher, grab yourself a yo-plank, go ahead and grab yourself a gogurt, fill it up with soda, that I got by collecting old sodas from the street and boring them together. I spit in it for fizz. I spit it for fizz. Big cup, so it makes them feel special.
Starting point is 00:35:05 I don't put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher weighs way too much money on electric and water, so I just hand wash them in the sink. That actually is a myth. It actually is not. You use a lot more water washing dishes yourself. Yes, I know this for a fact, because I convinced my wife that was true.
Starting point is 00:35:22 Ball inside a refrigerator. I took the bulb out of the refrigerator. It stays me almost $40 a year in electric. $40 a year. That's your $40 worth of work. I assume I see what I'm grabbing in the middle of the night. How do you hear? Okay. I'm pretty a year. Okay. Hmm. Yeah. Hi.
Starting point is 00:35:45 This cake tastes like broccoli, but I'm gonna go with it. I don't know what the fuck I got in my hand. This is my closet. When I go shopping, I always leave the tags on the shirt because you never know if it's gonna go out of style. So always keep the tags and you can just return them later. I paid for them, it's not stealing if you pay for it.
Starting point is 00:36:04 I'm living the dream. Wait, yeah. yeah, it's stealing if you use it and then Come on man I have heard a lot of people doing this I have dated women practice. No, it's not good practice. I have dated women who do this they take a Outfit for the night and then they take it back the next day. And it's like, mmm, it's a little shitty. I mean, I get it, I get it, but it's a little shitty. Wait, he's talking about wearing a stuff
Starting point is 00:36:33 so it goes out of style. Oh my god. I mean, look, it goes out. How long does it take for something to go out of style? That's a year. I'm still wearing my quick silver shirt from 1987. How about this one? I was 12. As soon as I'm done wearing my quick silver shirt from 1987. How about this one? I was 12.
Starting point is 00:36:46 As soon as I'm done living the dream, I just return it. Living the dream. Biggest money saver in the whole condo is right here in the bathroom. Great things that he lives a pretty normal life and most other people would probably think so too until they get to know him. He takes showers with his clothes on. Why? Why washing my clothes and wait, what?
Starting point is 00:37:06 Why? How do you get yourself clean by taking? It's, that doesn't even seem like it's saving money. Nope. There's time, there's time that's involved in it. And like, what? It's story time, you wanna hear a story? Is he washing it with tide?
Starting point is 00:37:21 Yeah, no. It's washing it with a bar soap. So, I mean bar soap can get your clothes clean. We've all done that number. I stayed in Costa Rica for three, one, two, and a time. I bar soap. Yeah, no. It was the bar soap. I mean, bar soap can get your clothes clean. We've all done that. Number I stayed in Costa Rica for three, once, one time. I bar soap cleaned my, my same underwear, night after night. You want to hear a story? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:34 So one time I was in my, maybe it's my late teens and there was, I was working in a restaurant. There was a girl who was kind of religious, right? I mean, that's, I don't know what kind of religion she was in matter. She was kind of religious, meaning she was a girl who was kind of religious, right? I mean, that's, and I don't know what kind of religion she was in matter. She was kind of religious, meaning she was a bit straight-laced. We all went to an after party after one night after a shift and it was someone's birthday and then we went to someone's house.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Everyone's party and everyone's drinking and everyone's having a good time. So you're born? Yeah. This wasn't my house, this is someone else's house. So even this girl, let's call her, I don't know, let's call her Betty, even Betty was getting drunk, right? She was a very attractive young lady.
Starting point is 00:38:15 And after a while, she starts getting kind of flirty and handsy, right? And so we decide at the end of the night that we are gonna go back to her apartment. We go back to her apartment and she goes to take a shower. And I hear from the shower, now everyone's pretty drunk at this point, I hear from the shower, why don't you come join me in the shower?
Starting point is 00:38:36 And I was like, oh, I don't mind if I do, thank you very much. Yeah. I go into the shower, into the bathroom, and there's one of these curtains, right? And so I get naked, thinking like I get naked, probably already at a half-masked, ready to go. Right. And I smooom back the curtain and she is in a one-piece bathing suit taking a shower. She was like, what are you doing? And I was like, you've said get the shower. And she's like, oh, I, you know,
Starting point is 00:39:09 I'm like, what are you doing? Is the question, what are we doing? Like, I can do it in here. This is the unsexyest thing that's ever happened to me. The bathing suit never came off. I'm just gonna let you know that. The shower with me, I'm saving at least $15 a month because I don't have to use a washer, a dryer, soap.
Starting point is 00:39:31 When I take a shower, I keep a bucket in there and it catches all the excess water from me. At the end of the week, I wash the toilet. I take that water and pour it directly into the toilet and that's what causes the toilet to flush. Where does the shit go until then? Oh, man, that's gross. Gearco-rose.
Starting point is 00:39:49 I can't stand it shit. We are having this whole conversation in the car the other day about farting, like the types of farts and whatever, right? Just this whole conversation between adults about farts. It's good adults. And someone made this suggestion, you should do a show about this. And I said, I would if I didn't think I would gag the entire time. Like, I just don't like that, I don't like that conversation.
Starting point is 00:40:10 It's not my favorite. No. That way, I'm not wasting any water. Oh my God, dude. I'm going on free internet dating sites. But I'm far the best part about online dating, because you don't have to spend money on dinner and drinks and wasting gas all in places meeting people just get online and it's free. This girl's kind of hot. How do you get late?
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah, what is the purpose of video dating? Where are you going with it? Like what's the end goal here bro? The end goal? Another FaceTime phone call? You don't have to buy dinner. You have to buy dinner. Join us. You've gasoline. Do any of that stuff. You can just have an online dinner and then whack off. Hey, you're pretty hot. I got to go and whack off to you. Ciao. It's been fun. Call you later. Would you like to marry me? I don't want to, that's sex until I'm married. She likes fancy restaurants and trailing.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Next. She likes fancy restaurants next. She likes turning on lights. She likes watching the toilet. She likes wearing her own shoe size. Celebrated. Next. She likes wiping her ass with paper.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Next. Here's one. She likes shopping and wine tasting. That's way too expensive. Easy going home body, good cook. Oh, she likes camping. Oh, she likes long walks. Long walks are free. Free, free, free.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Free, free. I know somebody like this by the way. But when it comes to the dating, I know somebody like that. It's bad. It's bad. I like this one. Hi, is Brandy there? Hey, hey, Brandy. I'm calling from a rotary phone. It's crazy. He's got my paper. I'm calling. No, I won't pay for it. I know. I'm I'm running on the treadmill to make the phone work. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Hey, um, I saw your, uh, I've got a couple of old Walmart bags I can use as a condom if things get frisky. They work just as well. It's that same sensation you get otherwise. Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. Head online actually, um, you look kinda cute. fake. Ed online actually, you look kind of cute. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:46 I'm really looking forward to meeting Brandy because we both met on a free dating site. Do you wanna go out tomorrow? Yeah. I'm assuming and hoping that she is a cheap skater. Poor unsuspecting girl. I know. For the most second, this guy's got tight game.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Hey, you're pretty hot, you wanna go out tomorrow? That's why 2021 is so fucked up is because that's literally how people date out It's like your tits are hot. Yeah, how big is your dick? Send me a dick pick and I'll decide whether or not I want to ghost you tomorrow So bad so awful. I'll email you the address of the place, okay? All right talk to later She's like all right of the place, okay? Okay. Okay. All right, talk to you later. All right, take one. All right. She's like, all right, I guess.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Yeah. You're gonna email me in the place? You want to just text it to me? Nope, cost too much money in electricity. I'm gonna email you from the library. Yeah, exactly. Free. Free.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Free email. I'm gonna text you, but I don't know what phone number from because I forget to literally go out in the street and ask my neighbor, can borrow their cell phone for a few minutes. Do you mind if I sext from your phone? I was gonna take a quick dick pick and send it to my girlfriend. I'm taking Brandy to a barbecue restaurant
Starting point is 00:44:01 because it's much cheaper than like a sushi place. But I'm hoping that she ate earlier, so she's not as hungry. Oh my God, dude, come on. Never assume that. Oh my God. I'm gonna be praying. I'm gonna be praying.
Starting point is 00:44:12 I'm gonna be praying. I'm gonna be praying. I'm gonna be praying. Meanwhile, the opposite, and she's probably going out with him just to get a good meal. Yeah, I mean, she's probably like, well, at least I get a meal.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Oh, that's it. Little did she know. Oh, I'm going to be praying. I'm going to be praying. Oh, I'm going to be praying. Oh, I'm going to be praying. probably like well at least I got a meal little did she know. I'm like my good man. You guys have any extra ribs that you don't cook? I'll take all of that barbecue sauce. You guys have any pigs that were too sick to cook? Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Do you have any bones with gang-zade on them? I'll take those. Also 100 packets of the barbecue. Yeah. I brought some McDonald's barbecue sauce. I got for free. I'm just gonna pour it over the bone. We're having a catering event.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Can you put in some plates? Can you see that family that just left those all those scraps? That takes those. I'll just suck on the bone. Up for some old barb, I'll pour some old Chick-fil-A barb, we can suck on it, put in my maps. It tastes just the same.
Starting point is 00:45:17 It tastes just the same. It's not as filling, but it tastes the same. Your mind doesn't know the difference. Hey, Brandy, you want one of these old bones? Cheers. I picked them out of the garbage on the way in. I'm gonna hold basket of bones. Look, there's some moose knuckle right there. I'll take a basket of bones. Side of ice. I'll take a basket of bones, one potato. Don't worry about cooking it.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Isn't it cheaper if you don't use oil and cut it up? I'll take a basket of bones, one potato, two packets of ketchup. I brought my own barbecue sauce. And a large water. Do you mind if I wipe my ass with this tissue paper in the basket? I'll take a large water. What I don't drink, I'll flush my toilet with. I'll wash my nuts within.
Starting point is 00:46:17 Do you mind if I wash my ass all out of your sink? I don't even have to take my clothes off. I just literally scrub through my underwear. I'm gonna take one of these bones and stick it on my ass. It could be clean as a whistle, both the bone and my ass. And so I eat. I eat it only. So that I don't shit. It goes the other direction
Starting point is 00:46:54 Do you know why you mind to see No work for me. Would you mind feeding my aides? No, it's not for me. Would you mind feeding my A to say? It saves on digestion costs. It's a lot less expensive for me to digest the other way. I don't have to worry about toilet paper or underwear. Any of that shit, no pun intended. I'm gonna cut up the steak, can you feed it to me?
Starting point is 00:47:30 If I bend over, thanks Brandeer, real trooper. Right. Oh my gosh. Yes. Greg. Nice to meet you. Greg, nice to meet you. What do you think of this place? I like it. Greg, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:47:45 What do you think of place? I like it. Pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. You keep utensils and everything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 911. She's dialing 911 in the table. When I first met Greg, he seemed like a nice guy sweet. Typically, I wouldn't be asked to go on my first date at a barbecue place only because it's messy and he's more casual. Hi y'all.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Hi. Welcome to Pit to Play Barbecue. I'll back something. Welcome to. Hey. Welcome to Farm to Ask Barbecue. I'll back something nice. Welcome to... Welcome to Farm to Ask Barbecue.
Starting point is 00:48:30 How can I help you? Oh, hey Greg, nice to see you again. I did notice you with your face sitting upwards. Can I have a sweet tea? Sweet tea. Sweet tea, free refill something? Yes. Okay, okay. Can I just get a water and a to go cup, please? Water and a to go cup. Yes. Alrighty. That's it. Real hungry?
Starting point is 00:48:57 Starveen or not? Oh, so like you want to like share me on maybe? Yeah, okay. Okay. Did you see the kids menu? The kids! The kids menu. Oh my God. Oh my God. So where are kids? Can you imagine if this is a nice record on the waiter's table?
Starting point is 00:49:14 Would you like to take a wine? No, no, no, no, no. We'll take a look at the juice selection on the kids menu. Trust me, I've been here before. The lines, they are way overrated. Everything, just flip it over to the other side. And it's only 4.95.
Starting point is 00:49:31 We could get a veggie plate, that's only 550. Or you could get a sweet and sour hot sauce for only $2.95. The sweet and sour hot sauce costs $2.95. I think it would be great if it's a great good. I think it would be great if it's a great good good. Oh, hot sauce. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sweet and sour. I've learned that Greg doesn't like to spend lots of money.
Starting point is 00:49:49 There's nothing wrong with it. Just different. It's not for me. You've all made a choice. I think I'm like, you're the one. Yes, I am. I'm like, I'm playing playing playing playing. I was like, I can't believe this.
Starting point is 00:50:01 I know. I'm the one on the back. No, it's like the people who edit these things, we're all too dumb to understand what's going on. So what they do, I mean, not too dumb. It's just a long used trick by editors and what they do is they put the music under, promoting you to feel a certain way. So you know, when something funny is about to happen, they play the funny music, when
Starting point is 00:50:23 they're playing, they're at the blues place. Ready? I'm just going to take the pooled pork sandwich. Hi, it's pretty popular for you here, right? It's very good. Is that pretty good size? The pooled pork sandwich. It's a nice portion.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Like, big enough for two probably? Just depends on the hungry you are. You might have us. Do you mind if I share the meal you're going to pay for? That's where I know somebody like this. How much do you span on puts? How much do you plan on spending? I just want to know how much we should split the bill for.
Starting point is 00:51:00 We haven't even ordered anything. I know, I know, I know. But we should talk about it now. At its time. Okay, perfect. Also, can we get a rib? Okay, you can get a rib. Can I get a rib? A ripper? No, just like one rib. Do you want a there? No, a ripper is like kind of offensive. I didn't know if you would like you, so I thought maybe we'd just get one. Just in case. Okay, a taster. Just like a little tiner. Can I get a little tiner of your ribs? Can you front me a rib?
Starting point is 00:51:33 Front me a rib, man. Come on. One rib. You don't care. You got a whole pack full of ribs. powerful ribs. Can you front me, aren't you? Can you front me one, man? If you front me a rib today, I'll pay you double tomorrow. That was the three o'clock and Coke phone call. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? Hey. Hey, what's up? Hey, what's up?
Starting point is 00:52:06 Hey, Brown, what you got? I don't have any money. All the ATMs are closed. ATMs 24 hours, man. Ah, here they are. OK, what? I don't know my ATMs. Listen, for me and my friend here,
Starting point is 00:52:21 we're just hanging in as I do, it's 4.15 in the morning. Do you think you can get up out of bed? Deliver me a gram of cocaine today And by 4 p.m. Tomorrow. I promised to pay you back $70 Oh come on man. It's time to go to bed, Brian. Stop causing me with this food, isn't it? Come on, D. No, man. I gotta go to sleep now. He hang up in the 15 minutes later $90 By 3 p.m. tomorrow. What time your bank open?
Starting point is 00:52:53 2 p.m. $150 by 2 p.m. Deal for half a gram. Fine. That's it. Oh god. I'm making deals with the drug deal for 15 in the morning. If you'd like one rip, yes please.
Starting point is 00:53:08 Most guys when they ask girls to go on dates, they really want to impress or show off. And so it's just, it was different. Not Kevin. Not Greg. Yeah, Greg, not Greg at all. Total opposite. We're just seeing him really not care.
Starting point is 00:53:24 It was a little weird. That's being nice. Yeah, that's being kind. Pull Quack sandwich with a satin mac and cheese. That looks good. Let me get it on that. Let me get it on that. That looks delicious. Do you mind if I? I'm sorry. Do you mind if I have two thirds of that? You should watch your waistline for the wedding. Will you marry me? Do you have money? What yours is mine? What's mine is yours? What's yours is mine? What's mine is mine? Do you mind if I have that?
Starting point is 00:54:03 I'm really hungry. It's been like like two weeks I've had a good meal I've been living on old day and in yoghards from the tracks but they're cups they're good cup did you know all those guys sold men go down and feed the pigeons in the park I slide under the bench and I hold my hand down. I take the bread. I throw it in my mouth. Cacal. Cacal. They don't know the difference.
Starting point is 00:54:29 They're blind. Cacal. Oh, all right. Thank you. Did you want to try some? No, that's okay. Are you sure? Yeah, there's a lot there.
Starting point is 00:54:37 I mean, is it one rib? Did he say he would have tried some? Did you want to try some of this? I love the bone for you. Do you want to chew? Did you want to try some of this? No, that's okay. It's. Are you sure? Yeah, there's a lot there. I mean, is it one rib? Did he say he would have chiseled? Did you want to show it? Nice, something like that.
Starting point is 00:54:49 I love the bone for you, do you want to show it? But it's the best part. You get this, there's not a lot there. Don't break it, dude. It's just bone. There's not a lot there. Yeah, would you want some macaroni? Oh, yeah, actually, I was lost in macaroni. be a little bit of that thing. I was waiting for you to ask I don't move a little bit of pork if I can have your soda
Starting point is 00:55:13 What's in your purse can I take a look? To the extra tampons I use on a clean my teeth. I use them for dental floss. Work too fast. Yeah, well we'll just do about half, and is that okay? Okay, okay. Oh, that would be nice, thank you.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Oh, that would be nice, thank you. Do you have a good date? Yeah, I have a date, I think. Thanks, Brandy. Thanks, mesh, Randy. Thanks, Mesh.com. Mesh.com. There's more than one, Randy. Craig, whatever's there with this.
Starting point is 00:56:00 What do you say? What do you say? What do you say we split that sandwich? I also take a look at your credit card. What do you say we use your credit card for this dinner? Not thanks, I thought you'd never ask. So what else do you do besides save cups and utensils? At my condo, like to save money on water,
Starting point is 00:56:21 we only flush once a week, and I save like $30 a month easily. $30 a month. How much are you paying for water? $30 a month a month a month a month. I know. You're a toilet. Yeah, that big stuff. So you guys go to the bathroom the whole week
Starting point is 00:56:36 and you don't flush. That's pretty disgusting. Cool. You come over all that you flush. Oh. Oh, he likes her. I like you. I love you. I'll let you flush twice a week Once if that's how he wants live his life. It's good for him just to extreme for me. I would never do it
Starting point is 00:56:56 Here all things you asked for. Thank you. Let me know if anything else you need. Okay. Thank you I'm having your plate. Yeah. Thank you. Let's take the plate. Okay, thank you. Sure. All right. I'm handling your plate. Yeah. Thank you. Let's take the plate home with me too. Take the plate home. Come on man. This is a little much dude. Honestly it's a little bit. A little. I mean I mean I might be hamming it up for the cameras. I understand. Yeah. But this is a little much. I don't like the waste food. Are you gonna eat the food? Oh yeah, absolutely. Alright, perfect. All that. But you can never have too much barbecue sauce.
Starting point is 00:57:30 I agree with that. No, don't forget your to cook that. Yeah. Greg is a very sweet guy, funny, little cheap but nice guy overall. Thank you for taking me out. I want to grow like me for me. I'm a sweet guy, funny, little cheap, but nice guy overall. Thank you for taking me out. I want to grow like me for me. Well, I had a lot of fun tonight.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Would you want to go out again sometime? Yeah, I did. I had a good time. Thank you. Even though he's a little cheap, I could look past that and definitely, he's a really sweet guy, so I would definitely go out and spray again. He ordered a rib! He ordered one rib, girl! There must be no single minute since an adi.
Starting point is 00:58:06 I got a dog. Fuck is going on a little hard. You ordered one rib. One goddamn rib woman. That's what he ordered. He ordered one goddamn rib. They'd have your plate. They'd have your plate.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Yeah. If somebody doesn't like you for who you are, you shouldn't be with them. Why don't you bring your guard back? Well, yeah, you're an asshole, Greg. I said that, I don't think I like you. You ordered one rib, ate her meal, took her plate home, then asked her out on a second date.
Starting point is 00:58:32 You got some balls, kid. I don't know. You got some balls. Hey, that's a zoom, man. You want to listen to what's more? That's zoom a body. That's zoom a body. That's zoom a body.
Starting point is 00:58:50 I think there's a motor oil coming out of your asshole. And that's just the latest experiment they're doing on my butt. I got a car on it. I signed up for a 10 year series of anal probes, three a week. But I'm making thirty dollars a year That's thirty dollars you'll never see they are mr. Cranky band who's driving around the low-rider Oh driving around in the 1967 B.D. Blow Rider I do believe that laundry detergent does want to scam on people. I learn how to conserve my detergent by my method of work, drawing blood. The measurements are very precise.
Starting point is 00:59:35 Oh, this lady uses a syringe to measure her detergent. Oh, by using the amount that I put in. Not the worst thing. I mean, that's like a measurement measure on the top. That's true. I mean. Oh, by using the amount that I put in. Not the worst thing. I mean, that's like a museum of measuring cups. No, that's true. I mean. Oh, wait, there's another one that I wanted to play for you. Hold on, one second.
Starting point is 00:59:50 We play this. They use that home. We need the lights on all day and all night. So what I like to do is just tape it up. What I like to do is cut off their fingers. That way they can't turn on any lights. Right. Now, you know you break into rules. As Houston
Starting point is 01:00:12 residents, Marlon Thomas and his family face some of the highest electricity bills in the country. So to be. I'm a funny story. It's just that. That's it. That's it. Oh, that's a story. That's a funny. No, so we have our electric toothbrush, you know, the charger. Yeah, yeah. Plugged into the wall. Yeah. It's got the little white thing, and you know, you can put the thing on there. So anyways, I, we also have our sono speaker plugged into that same outlet. Oh, I never, I never unplugged.
Starting point is 01:00:41 And I also have to use that for my hair dryer, that same, all in the same outlet. So I will unplug the toothbrush thing to, you know, the toothbrush charger instead of the sonos because the sonos gets reset. Yeah. Whatever. So Jeff for the longest time, and sometimes I forget to plug it back in.
Starting point is 01:00:58 So Jeff for the longest time. Just putting his thing in there. No, no, one day he has. One day he goes, is there a reason why you're unplugging? The thing is that yeah, because sometimes I use my hair dryer and I forget to plug it back to him because I thought this was like a saving money. Your dad taught you. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:17 A young age. No, it's just an accident. The same thing I used to razor for my head. I've saved thousands of dollars. No, it's just an accident. But the same thing, I used a razor for my head. I've saved thousands of dollars, tens of thousands of dollars on haircuts. I've got you, man. I've just got a hundred dollar haircuts.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Yeah, I've been, it's crazy. I've been shaving my own heads since I was 15 years old. I've literally have not been to a barber since I was 15 years old. Yeah. Not even on my wedding day. So, so I have the, so I only have two plugs or only have two plugs. Right.
Starting point is 01:01:47 So I have my glasses cleaner, my little sonic carer lots of cleaners. I'm one of those by the way. Awesome, isn't it? I love it. Yeah. And then I have my little cup where you put your toothbrush and you're, you know, your sonic carer toothbrush.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Well, sometimes I unplug the sonic carer because I leave the toothbrush in the shower, right? And then I'll plug in my razor. I show my head twice a week. So sometimes, and this happens more than I would like to care to admit, sometimes I will literally leave the toothbrush there in the morning and then I'll come pick it up at night
Starting point is 01:02:16 when I go to take a shower. And then three days later, the thing will run out of battery and I'm like, what the fuck, I just charged it. And then I'll be, I'll realize many days later that I don't even have the thing fucking plug me I'm like I do that too Same thing. Well, how are you supposed to tell it's a fucking cup that you put it in looks gross It's like the worst of the bad habits. I used to hate that one the regular toothbrushes and you put it in the cup
Starting point is 01:02:37 And in the bottom of the cup and I'll sludge you and it's disgusting Clean it out putting the dishwasher cut. This husband and father of two sets strict rules on household energy use. My dad wants to save money just like anybody else, but he just goes to an extreme doing it. At nine o'clock, I shut down the breakers because these guys like to leave a TV on, the radio, the stereo, and by me shutting the breaker off,
Starting point is 01:03:01 I'm roughly saving about $100 a month on an electric bill. A round raise is a rule. I mean, they don't like it. They don't like it. I'm paying the bills around here, so, hey, it's 9 o'clock. Yeah, I can, you know. You know, I can agree with that.
Starting point is 01:03:14 Not the worst. Yeah, it's not the worst thing that you've ever, that's ever occurred. Time for the breaker to go off. I feel like I'm going crazy because I don't know anyone in America that is doing that. It's not the correct, it's an extreme penny pincher. It's kind of like fighting the cookie-moss for a cookie. Like, can I get a little bit?
Starting point is 01:03:34 By enforcing strict rules in his house, Marlon keeps utility costs to a minimum. But it's his job at the fire. Marlon keeps utility costs and his sex to a minimum. Yeah, yeah. Is that his wife or his daughter? It's his wife and his daughter of both talking. Where he finds real savings.
Starting point is 01:03:53 Marlon is the cheapest person that I've ever met in my life. He does a lot of stuff that I would do at home here at the station. He's a firefighter, by the way. The dishwasher is half empty again. I bring my own dishes Because this is just the waste Wildwash half a load when you can wash the floor. That's also a mess by the way
Starting point is 01:04:11 Yeah, you can have just like at least half of it and you're good. Yeah, it works out I don't understand where these people are getting this shit from So he brings his dishes from home to the fire station to wash. Can you imagine me bringing my dishes over to Clear Channel? Hey, that reminds me I'm over here doing Malone day. Hey, did you pull out a China plate? Did you get a 50th anniversary collectible Walt Disney World plate plastic? How did the this slide?
Starting point is 01:04:46 Did you get a Dick Tracy plate out of the... That was mine. That was mine. Tuesday, we have to clean out the refrigerator. So guys, the food in here all the time. So what I knew is that a buying dinner, I'll take this home. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:05 Am I just, is it just me? Or do you hate leftovers? Oh, no, I like leftovers. I hate leftovers. Okay. I won't eat them. I mean, I don't like the meal itself. I won't eat them.
Starting point is 01:05:16 I won't leave them over. I'll save them. Okay, fair enough. But if I like the meal, I will, yeah. In rare cases, I will eat leftovers, but I very rarely do. I don't know, something about it, it skips me out, like I can't do it.
Starting point is 01:05:30 I'm just like, eh, thanks anyway. It takes better the second day. Yeah, I can get that, like some soups and stuff like that, tastes better the second day, yeah, sauces. It's spaghetti, you can stuff. Yeah, you know, stark stir fry or something like that. I just, I don't know. I love some good cold stir fry.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Pizza, I cannot eat after it's been cold. I won't even eat it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no or something like that? I just, I don't know. I love some good cold stir fry. Pizza, I cannot eat after it's been cold. I won't even know. No, no, no, no, no, no. I think that's disgusting. You people are crazed. Cold pizza is gross. Oh, one more day. It's good.
Starting point is 01:05:56 I don't clean out the refrigerator. People gonna let perfectly good food go to waste. Wow, that's not what you decide. Taste better than that. By stockpiling free firehouse leftovers, food go to waste. Wow, that's not what you need to say. By stockpiling free firehouse leftovers, Marlon saves over $400 a month. I do not like to eat leftovers from the fire station. I love them. I love them.
Starting point is 01:06:16 That's what Marlon is doing. He's taking everybody else's leftovers. No, I'm not eating a random other firefired food. That is fucking disgusting. I'll eat my own leftovers. Absolutely. I'm not eating a random other fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire chicken from somebody else's meal onto his daughter and his wife's plate, along with old broccoli and some rice concoction that looks like turned. This is Michelle, it's time me. Let's go. We're having some old corks I saved from the wine bottles and some chick filet sauce. It's delicious.
Starting point is 01:07:11 Get yourself a glass of water from the bird fountain. This one's going to be a little rough going down, but it is delicious coming out. Don't worry about it, girls. We just have leftovers and leftovers and who lives off leftovers. I guess Marlin does. Yeah. When you say $400 a month on groceries and there's only three people living in the house,
Starting point is 01:07:32 you are literally eating everything that everybody else is left over. That is fucking disgusting. That's bad bad. I couldn't do that. Oh, absolutely. If I would, I'd go to McDonald's every chance I got with if this was my parent.
Starting point is 01:07:44 For sure. Okay, I see that we're running out of time. We've got more of this and I would like I'd go to McDonald's every chance I got if this was my parent. For sure. Okay, I see that we're running out of time. We've got more of this and I would like to do another episode on this, so what do you say? We'll take another one here. I wanted to, I wanted to let you know that I have a new show closed song. So originally we had the same song open and closed.
Starting point is 01:08:00 Then we used a new kind of jazzy-dazzy-doo song, right? And now I've found another one. I like that one. What do you think? I like it. I like it a lot. It's got a good start, right? It's got a great sax solo. The runt of the day. Start with the band. All right, we'll get back to more cheap skates at a further episode.
Starting point is 01:08:20 You know how we like to do. Sometimes we've got to stretch it out into two episodes. I don't want to keep you too long. I know your attention span is in great. Mrs. and Mr. Podcast listener out there. So, but thanks for joining us on another episode of TCB. Here's what I'd like you to do. Go to TCBpodcast.com. That's where you can find out more information
Starting point is 01:08:39 about Chrissy and I read all the show notes. You can watch all of the YouTube videos. You can listen to all of the audio from the podcast episodes all from one place or find us on your favorite podcast provider. If you would like a Series One collectible TCB sticker, you can meet us at Menfo October 1st through the third 2021 tickets may be available at menfofest.com.
Starting point is 01:09:02 It's still on. Gotta bring your vaccination or your proof of a negative test. But feel find all that out on the website if you go there and purchase tickets. Let us know if you're going to be there. We'll let you know where we're going to be. We have a tent inside of the festival. We'll also be roaming around here and there and everywhere, apparently. So you want to make sure you meet us and ask us and we'll give you a sticker.
Starting point is 01:09:23 Or if you buy one of the products and services, our sponsors pitch and you can find those special URL codes. You need to make sure you use the URL and the code too, please. If you do that, send us a screenshot to 661, the word best, the number 2, y-o, best 2-yo, 661, best 2-yo. Leave us a message on that phone number or send us a text message give us show ideas We have lots of fans out there listeners. I should say I don't like calling to say fans. Yeah, it makes it sound I don't know it's creepy. Oh
Starting point is 01:09:55 We got our peeps. We got our listeners out there who's sending lots of show ideas and we use them So if you got any show ideas, send them into 661, best to yo, add the commercial break on Instagram for your next contest where we give away cold hard cash and youtube.com slash the commercial break. Please subscribe, comment, like, rate, review on your favorite podcast platform. Okay, what else can I do today?
Starting point is 01:10:20 I think that might be it, I'll take one rib. Yo, I'll take, right of my ass. Right of my ass. I I'll take one rib. Yeah, I'll take you right of my ass. Right of my ass. Take one rib. I love you. I love you. Best to you. And RIP Norm McDonald. A great gift to the to the world. And how grateful I am to have been alive in the time of Norm McDonald. Yeah, my friend, you will be missed. Yes. Best you out there in the podcast universe. Until next time.
Starting point is 01:10:47 Bye! Bye! The commercial break. New episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram.
Starting point is 01:11:09 Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtler, with additional content provided by Tina Connell. Yeah! you

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