The Commercial Break - WHO Is Flying This Thing?!
Episode Date: April 27, 2021Bryan and Hoadley discuss the stink-fest known as The Oscars, Bryan wonders why we are spending money on USPS commercials, surgeons are making court appearances from the operating room. Then Bryan tel...ls his story of visiting flight school foe the first time. It's a hair raising day at the airport! Bill Burr (5.2.21 @9pm) & Stephen Wright (5.9.21 @9pm) will be on stage with Host Eddie Brill and moderated Bryan and Jen Fassino, inside The Comedy Podcasts Club on Clubhouse. DM @thecommercialbreak for more info. LINKS: Watch this episode on Youtube Sponsor: BetterHelp.com Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel Join The Comedy Podcasts Club on ClubHouse New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: +1 (470) 584.8449 FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: info@tcbpodcast.com A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
And welcome back to WSHIT's News at 1138.
We'll get you up to date before 1148.
It's news you can use before you snooze.
Traffic, weather, and breaking stories before you go to bed.
On Mic2Page, junior the third and before we get to breaking sports news, let's go down
to weather.
Thanks, Mic, and good afternoon everyone.
Temperatures currently in the lower 70s headed toward a high today.
Come on asshole.
What the fuck out of here?
I don't want to hear your fucking story anyway.
That's like typical Mogo.
Why aren't you being out?
Asshole.
It looks like it's cloudy with a chance of severance packages.
We'll be back after this commercial break.
On this episode of the commercial break.
Let me ask you a question because I'm curious.
Why is it that in porn movies, there's always some dick slapping going on. Let me ask you a question because I'm curious.
Why is it that in porn movies, there's always some dick slapping going on.
I mean, under what circumstances, does anyone think it's appropriate to smack your dick across
anything?
And so Eddie poses the question.
So Brian, you know, you want to be involved?
Like, do you want to be involved in the questioning on stage?
Is that something you'd like to do and I just thought about it for half 1.6 seconds before I was like no no I do not
Bill Burr real comic Brian green no comic
I
Think I'm going for a chip chat with a row and here I am at the end of the feed street
Terminal getting ready to take off and assess them. I'm like holy shit
And so he's he knows so I'm like I'm gonna do four or five seconds already for take off and he's like I was Ernie and I cleared for take off about 10 degrees and right now
I'm like okay, so that means you're gonna hit up and then you fly to the left and he's like okay
Go and I'm like oh so I press the little thing and he's like go go go all the way all the way all the way
And then we're just riding down the runways kid to keep it straight. The whole thing this thing is going all over like I'm like
I'm like a fucking
Teenager and just drank a bottle of golden grain going all over the road
The next episode of the commercial break starts now It's just drank a bottle of Golden Grape and going all over the road. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr And I was gonna find it. Oh, Mr. Private Detective! I think I found your ho-ho-ho!
I smacked it across her face, lifting right!
Shoulder whose hose was boss!
Oh, Mr. Coveon!
Detective Coveon!
That's Detective Coveon to you.
Watch my hose, girl.
Why? Why? The missing hose? Detective Kruvitt here. Watch my hose go.
Why? Why is it a missing hose?
Yeah.
I found it and I put it in her bushes.
I want her to those plants.
Let me ask you a question because I'm curious.
Why is it that in porn movies,
there's always some dick slapping going on.
I mean, under what circumstances,
does anyone think it's appropriate to smack your dick
across anything?
Like, have you ever had a dick on your forehead?
It's like bang bang, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Wake up, Fuzzy! Here I come! Like, who started this trend?
I'm sorry, but I think it's disturbing.
And no one lets me try it.
And no one lets me try it, so there you go.
Yeah.
Don't you even dare.
But, what, this little bit...
This is...
This is crumpets like...
Yeah.
Missed his crumpets!
Did you find my own...
Man did I!
Prabaka Kuhir 3000 presents private detective nice
Sponsored by Disney
Sponsored by Johnson and Johnson baby products
I'm Ryan this is Chrissy Ann happy new year. We're well into whatever and we're still saying happy new year
So congratulations Happy New Year! We're well into whatever, and we're still saying happy New Year, so congratulations.
That's just, Anthony Hopkins won the fucking Oscar.
I didn't even know the guy was still alive.
Yeah.
Unbelievable.
What movie was he in?
It's called the Father.
The Father?
Father, yeah.
Sounds like the exactly, exactly like the shitty
kind of movie the Oscars likes to award shit too.
What a disaster. Yeah, it was a little weird. Well, I didn't award shit too. What a disaster.
Yeah, it was a little weird.
Well, I didn't watch it, but what a disaster.
He just watched the catch up.
I just watched all the clips.
Yeah, I just watched all everybody bitching about it.
One guy was like, you know, whoever,
Sotoberg, Sotoberg is the director, Sotoberg,
the guy who did crash and traffic and all those movies, right?
Really great director actually.
And so he directed the Oscars.
Oh, okay.
Hence no real, you know, person in charge
and they're supposed to be like a journey
through the movies, right?
So his whole intention was to, I guess,
to film it like you were watching a movie
or something like that.
But from what I saw, it just looked like a bunch
of people from random locations talking in bad microphones.
That's what it looked like.
Yeah, it was definitely weird.
Yeah, and then I think that obviously someone right before the,
right before a hand went like this.
Anthony, whoo!
Yeah, that was a big surprise.
Fuck!
That was a big surprise.
It was possible.
Oh no.
And then they said, okay, here's the deal.
Because everyone's gonna tune out directly after this happens.
We ought to put this at the very end.
Yeah, you know that was done on purpose.
Because how else could they get it possibly get away
from away with it?
I mean Chad Moseman, Chad.
Yeah, Chadwick.
Chadwick, is that Chadwick Moseman?
Is that his name?
Nothing so yeah.
Who played the black panther,
which is such a great fucking movie.
And then he was in another movie,
and I didn't see it,
I don't give a fuck,
because I think the guy should have worn one the Oscar
just for Black Panther alone.
I mean, it was a great movie.
Talented guy dies of 43 years old.
Obviously, he's the sentimental favorite,
and then for those who saw the movie say,
it's clearly he wins.
Like, it's not even,
there's no potential.
Yeah, he's actually good in that movie.
And then they give it to Anthony fucking Hopkins,
who's 84 years old,
not granted, he's gonna die soon too. And he's done a lot of wonderful movies, but he's already one in Oscar.
Give it up. Didn't he win for silence of whatever sounds like a sheep or whatever the fuck that movie is,
that's great movie too. I just with some code one is from phobia. Cure good. A code can't do you know some f***** me. Yeah. Scariest. I was like 12 and I had only...
That movie.
That movie still makes me scared of storage units.
I f***** the nation and the f*****!
Damn, what's that song?
He's like, you know.
Oh, yeah, I got that creepy like 80s song.
Yeah, damn.
And he's dancing around.
He's got his scat.
Yeah, he's got his dick all tucked. That's a crazy fucking movie.
That's a crazy movie.
It's a crazy movie that was so brilliantly put together.
And rightfully so, Anthony Hopkins won.
And then he went on to do a bunch of great other movies,
of which I can't remember any of them,
but you know, the truth is he's a well-respected actor.
He's 83 years old.
And now he's on, he didn't even expect to win.
He's got some Scottish countryside
with a fucking sheep behind him, giving a speech on Twitter like thank you madam
Shouldn't expect this I'm gonna go back to my canton follow beans
I want to be left alone to die in peace
Somebody asked me to do a damn movie. I needed $500,000. So I did it to keep my estate here
Mode because it's 17,000 acres of grass
People go live in Hollywood live in New York come on in it didn't get it together the fuck now
And nevermind. I'm not even gonna say it you know Anthony. Yeah, this Boseman kid should have wanted
I'm disappointed that he didn't even though I had zero interest in any of this week
I just felt like you know, I think that's right. I think everyone should be upset about that.
The brand new TCB Podcast.com is where you go to find all the
showtos. You can read more about Chrissy and I and you can get access to our entire library,
audio and video and we're on YouTube, YouTube.com. Slash break 470 5 8 4 8 4 4 9 is
Where you can text us or leave us a message or you can go to at the commercial break on the Instagram on the Instagram
There you can DM us anything you want to feel free to leave us more hate comments. We love it. Keep it coming
Yes, here's the thing about our Instagram account
It'll go up. I like 10 people a day, but it'll go down by like four people a day
So we like net six did you that? Have you noticed this?
It goes up and then it goes down.
And then it goes up.
I don't realize people were unsubscribing.
Lots of people are unsubscribing.
So now either one of the two things is happening.
I think that most of this is like people, spammy people,
who they're like, you know, oh, hello Mr.
or whatever, I can help you get some other million
subscribers.
And then you go to their page and they have one post
and they've got 1.6 million friends,
follows, and you're like, what the fuck,
how did you do that?
In this first second, you think about it,
you're like, for $24, you know,
I got to lose.
Right, but we get like, you know,
we get two or three of those a day.
So I think what's happening is,
as Instagram goes and weeds those people out,
our numbers go down, but it's awful frustrating,
take two steps forward and one step back.
Maybe Henry Fonda can help.
Henry Fonda, let. Henry Fonda.
Yeah.
Let's ask him later on in the show.
And so then you can go to Clubhouse, of course.
Last night, we were recording this on Monday, but last night we had Caroline Ray in the club,
only joking room with Eddie Brill.
Eddie Brill is a guy who used to book the Dave Letterman show.
The comedians on the Dave Letterman show, he's well respected comic and comedy mentor.
And so he's doing a room with us inside of the comedy podcast club.
That's so cool.
It's incredible.
That soon did last night.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, we got so interesting.
We managed to get Chrissy on the app.
And then this week, if you're listening to this on, in the May 1st week, May 2nd, which is this Sunday,
we are gonna have Bill Burr, then Stephen Wright,
and then Susie Esman from Curb Your Adusias.
I love her, yeah.
I love all the fucking old things.
Yeah, it's amazing.
To be up on stage with Bill Burr.
And so we were kind of like having a little meeting last,
a little chat, you know, a little after room, kind of pow wow and see what we can do better
and what we can do next time.
Yeah.
And so Eddie poses the question.
So Brian, you know, you wanna be involved?
Like do you wanna be involved in the questioning
on stage?
That's something you'd like to do.
And I just thought about it for 1.6 seconds
before I was like, no, no, I do not.
I do not.
No.
No.
Bill Burr, real comic, Brian Green, no comic.
Bill Burr, most of the notorious man in comedy, Brian Green, has an edit button.
No, no thanks.
I appreciate it, but I'll just, I'll keep on saying people's names.
That's what I do.
That's what you do.
Doug, do you have a question? Bob, people's names. That's what I do. That's what you do. Doug, do you have a question?
Yeah.
Bob, your next.
That's what I do.
And I'm all too happy to be sitting on the stage with it.
But I will say that something, so anyway,
follow us on the clubhouse.
We need an invite.
We have now thousands of them.
Clubhouse has now given comedy podcast club.
They've released the house.
They've released the house.
And so we have thousands of invites.
You are welcome to them.
We're gonna put posts on our social media and everywhere.
We'll, you'll see it.
And if you need a, we're gonna put a link.
It just hit that link and then you can skip the line.
You don't even need an invitation.
You just download the app.
You can RSVP for Bill Burr.
This weekend, May 2nd, 2021.
In case you're listening to this in 2027.
There's something like that.
But a funny thing happened last night.
So we're trying to get this whole shit bag together, right?
It's like a lot of coordinating parts and pieces.
Yeah.
And I don't know, like this Caroline Ray
is coming on last night.
I don't know Caroline Ray, right?
She's not my friend.
We're not buddy buddies.
It's not like I can pick up the phone.
No, I can't pick up the phone and call Caroline Ray.
And one of the things that you have to do
in order to get someone into a room on the stage with you
is they have to follow you.
It's one of these quirks about the app
so that then I can pull her in essentially onto stage.
And if I don't, then she gets lost in the crowd.
It's embarrassing for everybody.
It's just a big disaster, right?
So we're, I'm for like the entire weekend, I'm like, okay.
I just need Caroline to follow me.
Like I'm telling Eddie, just have Caroline follow me.
So I make sure she's on stage.
Eddie sends a message, but she responds to other things,
but doesn't say I'm following Brian,
and I can see that she's not following me.
So what you don't see is going on last night
is like seven and a half minutes beforehand.
There's this like mad dash to figure out
if we're even gonna have a guest tonight.
We've promised all these people
that Caroline Ray's gonna be in there,
and she's not following us.
So I'm like, holy fucking shit.
So Eddie goes, here's her cell phone number.
Get a hold of her.
And I was like,
uh,
uh,
uh,
I just got a little starstruck for a moment.
I was like,
I don't know how do you text the celebrity?
How do you do that?
Hey there.
I had just watched, I had, hey, Ryan, green.
You know, guy from the commercial break, TCB podcast.com.
You've never been there?
No.
That's a good oversight on your part.
My people haven't called your people.
That hasn't happened yet.
Are we gonna lunching?
Are we gonna lunch after corona?
What's going on?
So I text her and I'm like,
so it takes me three and a half minutes
just to write the text.
But it's exactly one sentence.
Cause I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like,
Hey, Caroline, no, I should probably say,
hi, Caroline,
cause he's a little sub,
so hi, Caroline,
exclamation point,
so I put next,
like this sounds a little needy, doesn't it?
Okay, how about that, that, that,
no, that, that, that,
that lips is bad, do it. Okay, all right, hi, hey, okay, back to hey, I put the sounds a little needy, doesn't it? Okay, how about that, that, that, no, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,
that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,
that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,
that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,
that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, mess and I'm like, okay, hi Caroline dot dot
It's Brian And then I'm like Brian who the fuck is Brian who she cares? She probably gets 10 Brian's a day texting her saying it's Brian
She just throw a dick pick up there. Maybe she'll pay attention then like what do I do in this circumstance?
So what I say I'm just there's just blood everywhere. I just I'm sorry. I just cut my leg and just blood every repuscate
We'll keep on going with the show. I don't worry about it. If you get a little blood on your foot,
don't worry about it, I'll be.
So then I'm like, okay, da da da da da, it's Brian,
you know, from Clubhouse.
I just don't even know what to say after that.
It's, anything that I could possibly say
is gonna sound fucking needy.
Yeah, and it's just so, I know she's gonna think this is span.
So I'm like, hey, it's Brian.
I am leading, I am moderating the room tonight
that you're coming in at nine.
I'm like, I'm trying to expect my grammar.
Eddie Bruehl asked me to reach out to you.
All right.
Can you please follow me at Brian Green?
And it's just like, oh, literally,
my mind was racing.
And I see that the clock is winding down
and I have no time to make this all work.
So I just shot off some casualty,
hey Caroline, follow me, I'm Brian Green.
I'm like, hey Caroline, follow me, I'm Brian Green.
Or you're gonna get lost in the crowd.
That's what I say.
Are you right, you back, or did she just follow you?
She did not write me back, she followed me.
She probably was like, I'm not gonna engage
with another fucker.
I just followed.
But then when she gets on, she says, you know,
oh, Brian, I was just listening to you,
and she mentioned my name a couple times.
So I thought that was just an invitation
to start a conversation, but clearly it was not.
I think that's it.
And he was like, and on with my show.
And I was like, oh, sorry, I was just sit over here
and do my thing.
Love Eddie Braille.
He's so wonderful.
Can I ask a question?
Why the fuck does UPS, USPS, the United States Postal Service,
why are they running commercials?
They are?
On our television stations.
Really?
Don't we pay for this shit?
Yeah.
Isn't this coming out of our tax dollars?
Yes.
Why are we running, who in the fuck is just learning about
the United States Postal Service?
Who doesn't know about this?
I learned about this in kindergarten.
Aren't they in debt too?
They're highly in debt.
They lose like a billion dollars a year.
For the first spending money to advertise.
Even while they're still delivering all those Amazon packages,
they're still fighting away to lose money
because it's a government service.
You know, they just can't.
Why do something right?
Why do something,
why do something inexpensively
when you can do it at twice the price?
It's like the United States government
just can't seem to get their shit together.
And now they are spending money on USPS commercials
and I'm seeing them everywhere.
What did I say?
It's like, you know, if you need packages on time,
call UPS, or USPS.
We'll get there a couple days later.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, it was natural.
Male men like to blow shit up.
And I mean, it's just like,
they say the most mundane shit, it's supposed to be the Mormon the blow shit of. And I mean, it's just like,
they say the most mundane shit,
it is supposed to mean warm and fuzzy commercial
with this swooning music,
it's supposed to make you feel some way about the USPS.
When all I know is you're my ballot was late,
you can't get my shit to my front door on time.
And while I love my personal post man,
nothing ever happens on time at the post office.
And I gotta stand in line for 10 hours for a passport.
That's all I know.
Yeah.
Don't put a commercial on air, hire some more people.
That's what you need to do.
It's hire some more people at a living fucking wage
so that we can actually have a postal service that runs.
The one thing that separates us, one of the things that separates us
from the rest of the fucking shitty ass world is this,
the United States Postal Service, the fact that you can put something in your mailbox
out front of your house and that have it anywhere
in the world within 10 days for a song and a dance,
is the most amazing thing that has ever happened
to the United States, but one of the most amazing things
that ever happened to the United States of America,
it is what sets us apart as a modern civilized society
that we can communicate in this manner very cheaply and very quickly.
Right now, I realize the internet kind of fuck things up
for your USPS, but the fact is, if I have to get a check
to somebody or a box or a birthday present or a card
or, you know, pipe bomb or whatever I'm sending to people.
I'm scared.
There.
Cocaine.
Yeah.
Stick it in the mail.
Cocaine. All I do is I stick it in the mail and there it goes
I don't know how gets there. I'm not curious at all about how it gets there
But there's some planes trains and automobiles and then it gets there
What I do know is that I know that that's what you do right? I have no question mark about why that little blue and white truck
Is stopping by my house every day? Why do you why do you feel the need?
little blue and white truck is stopping by my house every day. Why do you, why do you feel the need to spend money?
That's right.
Don't do it.
Stop it.
Leave that Amazon doesn't even advertise.
No.
Once the last time you saw a UPS commercial, never.
They just put their stats, stick their shit on NASCAR.
Exactly.
How effective is that?
Oh, look, it's the, it's the, it's the poopoo people are sponsoring Dale Jr.
Get Part Jr.
Whatever the fuck.
Stop wasting my money.
I know what you do.
That's right.
I'm serious.
I feel upset about that.
I can tell.
I was like, oh.
But I do know one thing.
I'm not sending anything highly valuable through USB.
That is true.
Sure, it's not going to get there on time or without damage.
And there's nothing you can do about it.
Good luck.
I mean, good luck getting the USPS to, we had a package that ended up damaged at our house,
right?
The USPS just kind of, it was literally a swing set.
Oh, wow.
And they dropped it off.
Yeah, they just dropped it off and just like threw it on the garage, literally threw it
on the driveway.
Yeah.
Pieces everywhere.
They took no care whatsoever with this package.
But I cannot do anything about it.
There's nothing I can do because there's no one to talk to.
If you call somebody, they're not even in the United States,
and you call somebody, and then they're like,
I'm sorry, sorry, you know what I'm doing,
I want to make a deal.
What do you want me to do?
He does his trick.
Oh, oh, so here comes the FBI.
I talked to Brian about mentioning Python.
This is my big shot.
Go get into the seat where Brian flying as high as Chrissy!
Hi!
Good to see everybody!
Welcome back to Cas Universe, still flourishing.
We're now on 10...
10 users!
We might need your help with Instagram, pal.
Instagram, I am a Instagram master.
I have two posts and 7 million followers.
That's right. You know I did this. How I
Faked them all. I've got literally I've got a house. There's full of phones and I'm just running 24 hours a day
Downloading podcasts and posting Instagram some people say oh you're a very nice podcast
There's a number one in the entire world how do you do that? I saw house full of phones. It makes so much son
It's so much sense and so much money. So I
wanted to come on now you're talking about the United States Postal Service, where we are
from. We also have a Postal Service. It's very good. Here's how it works. You stick package
in middle of town square. Is there a big bin in there is a town jester.
With the bells on it.
He's singing it.
What do you call it?
A mirth?
Or I don't even know what you call it.
He's singing it song.
Drackel Package off here.
I have no fear.
Your package will never get anywhere.
So you've dropped it off in the middle of town and then many donkeys will come and poop
on the package.
But this is part of the process.
You got to understand.
Once the package is pooped on, then it's ready to be ready for the next stop step in processing,
which is typically an elephant that has been in service
for many years in our country as the main postal delivery elephant. We tie it to the back of the elephant,
we give it one good whack on the butt and then we tell it to go to in the
delivers in certain direction. So every third month it's going north every six months it's going south
you just have to time it the right way. This is, you know, this works very similar to the United
States postal service in many different ways. I can't remember any of them but it's very similar.
So it don't think that you're the only civilized country because you have some trucks picking up your
mail, it's off out of your house every day blah blah. Basically, all it's doing is sending you banana republic mail for every 16 seconds. Who are these people?
Why are they sending you so many catalogs? What is the last time you bought something from a
banana republic catalog? Yeah, it's been a while. And restoration hardware? Fuck these people.
They are sending entire volumes. It's like in a cyclovedia.
They are sending entire volumes. It's like in a sick Lebedia.
Yeah, it's a picado.
Restoration Hardware.
Please, they should call it Restoration Trees.
Put them back off and stop taking them down.
It's all, it's bad.
So, have you been christian?
I've been checking with you.
I mean, I have been checking in with you.
But I mean, you know, by phone, I want to talk to you.
Because the camera is only one way I can just I can't see what I'm doing. That's right, but I'll tell you what I like Jeff. Oh, yeah, he is a man who is hung like a
Like a Galapagos lizard
And I don't know if you ever seen a Galapagos lizard. I'll pass along that
But they are dragging if you don't I mean dragging in the sand
You know Galapagos lizard has and when you look at the tracks across the beach
It's four little lizard prints and then one line following behind it. That's it's Galapagos lizard has and when you look at the tracks across the beach it's four little lizard prints and then one line following behind it that's it's Galapagos peanuts.
Okay. Yes. So tell Chip congratulations.
I will tell him. Wow that's a winner.
When are we in our chicken dinner?
Okay. What do you think about that date now?
Listen, it's been at least three months since I've been here.
I've been trying to relax and say, he literally doesn't give Chrissy some time in space.
Just watch her through the video camera.
Pick up some pointers from Jeff.
The dick slapping ability is fantastic.
He's on point.
Look at that hose.
Okay, so you want to go on that date?
I can't write now, but I'll get back to you.
Oh, so you're saying there's a chance.
I like it.
Oh, they're here for Brian.
I don't know, I think they're for you for me.
Okay, ciao, see you later.
We have Bob Ketsu in the verse.
Oh, he's here to help you, Riegel.
Bye-bye.
Oh. Oh, the Gal my ghost lizard. Yes.
Where did you come up with that one? Yeah, I'm just here. I'm trying to make things up.
Okay. All right. Give me a break. Oh, one other thing I wanted to talk about.
Yes.
Did you see that people that, do you see about this nurse who was doing surgery on someone
while she was in a courtroom?
You know, I've heard about that.
I saw a doctor, a plastic surgeon was actually tuning in
doing a Zoom call.
This is, this is, like while he was doing surgery.
I don't want my cash here doing anything,
but bagging my groceries at one time.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like I, here's the deal.
It seems dangerous.
It's ever, yeah.
Welcome to the fucking 2021,
where the world has just lost its good, ever-loving mind.
Here's the deal.
In 2020, something happened called coronavirus.
I don't know if you've heard of it, look it up, Google.
In the whole world went into lockdown.
But certain things cannot stop, no matter what.
And one of those things happens to be court
because it's the way that almost every municipality
across the country makes money.
They find you for traffic tickets or you don't have
and pot or whatever it is.
And then there's more important things like, you know,
in bezel-mint murder and suicide,
or suicide, I don't think you get charged for suicide.
I'm charging you with suicide.
So crimes.
Crimes, yes.
So most municipalities now have some kind of Zoom courtroom
where if you have to go to court, you have to go to court.
You just show up at your own house.
And there's been a couple funny incidents
that have happened along the way.
We've already denoted that.
I'm not a cat guy, right?
Let's go back to that one.
Where is he? I'm not a cat. You right? Let's let's go back to that one. Where is he?
I'm not a cat. You know you are so you have no authority
Yeah, that's a that's a difference that's a that's a that's a zoom town hall
But we knew that the guy was a cat and the lawyer ended up having one of those filters on him
And he was trying to explain to the judge that he wasn't a cat and I think the judge understood that from the guest
We know you're not. Yes, we know that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm not a cat.
It is really funny. Wow.
Wow. Did you grow a tail in some fuzzy years?
I'm not a cat. Oh, it's there. I've not a cat.
Oh, oh, it was like scrambling to explain it.
I should have asked Caroline, right?
Does it, you know, the cat, the talking cat that was on their show.
Anyway, so these courtrooms now have Zoom courtrooms
where you have to show up via Zoom.
And as you can imagine,
this makes already probably very dramatic and wild situation,
even that more dramatic and wild
because now you have to try and coordinate everybody
into this Zoom call and then you have to make sure
that they're defendant and plaintiff and all this other stuff,
they have the same kind of rights that they would inside of a courtroom.
And so what has been happening is people are doing zoom court from very different and odd places.
And one of those places is apparently the fucking operating room.
That is crazy, which is insane to me.
I know. I would be pissed. is insane to me. I know.
I would be pissed.
I was the person getting operated on with just a little.
Unbelievable.
Like I said, I don't want the girl that Disney World checking her phone when I'm getting
on the ride.
I want her checking my lap belt.
I don't want the guy bagging my groceries to put the fucking dog food on top of the eggs.
I want him paying attention.
When I'm at a restaurant nothing drives me crazy
Like a waiter that checks their phone that drives me up a fucking wall
When you are at work do not take a zoom call that is not work related like when you're doing some kind of service for somebody else
Don't fuck it up
Potentially just don't be rude. Yeah, and then you're doing surgery on someone and you're taking.
It's a good thing.
Take a day off.
I never write.
Move the car case.
It's like an hour.
That's right.
Don't you think the judge would understand?
I'm putting double D's and this is Crockett over here.
I need a couple minutes.
Yeah.
First of all, or, or alternately, Mrs. Crockett, I can't put
your double D's in.
It's plastic surgery.
I mean, can't you move it back an hour?
Yes.
I would take phone in there.
I know, it's not.
It's insane.
So do where they were in trouble?
Why I have no idea.
I have no idea.
But what's crazy, I mean, that part of the article
did not, didn't say what happened with the consequences
where I don't, I don't think there is anything
to be in trouble about.
Because I mean, I guess if you're in a four hour surgery,
you know, like anything that we do for a long period of time,
you're gonna be doing other things
or thinking about other things.
When two surgeons are in a room
and they're doing a brain surgery of epic proportions
for, you know, 30 hours, these marathon long surgeries.
They're not just focused on the brain for 30 hours.
No one can concentrate on one thing for that long.
They gotta be having some kind of external conversation,
I've been in a plane, flown a plane.
Why, I don't know, I don't know why they let me do that,
but I flew a plane, I was into it for a minute,
so I had children and my wife told me no more of that shit.
I'll never do that.
I'll be 90 before I've able to fly a plane and ask her to size.
But I fly a plane and guess what?
You were paying attention.
I was paying attention.
My phone was nowhere near the steering wheel of the plane
because that's just the right thing to do.
Now, there's lots of other electronical electric equipment.
There's even an iPad, but that's so you know
what direction you're going.
And so you don't hit the other fucking planes out there, right?
But when I'm in the cockpit with someone so with someone else like the you know the coach coach pilot
Go Brian go
Land that's a funny story about flying a plane by the way
So
When you do that you have all the conversations besides what's going on in the planet. You might say, oh, a nice day,
or, you know, girls are topless around that pool.
Let's circle around that pool.
Whatever, right?
You have other conversations.
I can understand that.
I get that.
It's a human nature.
But going to court on a Zoom call
while you're doing a surgery,
is the epitome of irresponsible.
Yes.
When I worked in McDonald's in my very first job,
we did not have cell phones,
but pagers were becoming a thing.
Bip, bip, bip, one, four, three,
star, star, star, that meant I love you, right?
Or two zero, that means I need a 20 bag.
I mean, I didn't know that.
It was just what I heard from my other drug dealing friends,
but you know, there were codes that nine,1-1 call me back quick, right?
That's the one you used to the drug deal
Like 9-1-1 like your drug emergency. It's any worse than anybody else's
No, dude, I need it now
so
When we so the pagers come out guess what the number one rule was when you're on the floor of a McDonald's or cooking someone's food,
you can't have the fucking pager.
No, it's distracting.
It's distracting, it's rude.
You should be paying attention to people's food,
not paying attention to some pager,
some drug deal that you're doing.
That's the side job.
Do your side job on your side job.
Now you could go downstairs and make out with the hostess
in the stock room, that was perfectly acceptable.
Sure.
That was where things that were allowed.
But a painter, no.
Then when I worked at a fine dining restaurant,
as an adult, as a manager, or whatever,
I could not open my phone
and start checking text messages in the middle of dinner.
It's just not something that was appropriate.
You never did it.
You would be fired on the spot
if you did something like that.
You knew that, but in 2021,
it seems that this is prevalent,
that anybody can do anything that they want,
whenever they want, everybody else be damned,
including taking a Zoom call while,
can you imagine being the person that was at,
no, that's Rosanna would be pissed.
Are you so pissed?
Here's the worst part about this,
and nurse, now doctors were giving surgery,
but there was a nurse who was doing like a butt implant
or something, a butt injection,
Rosanna, and like butt injections, and they were giving surgery, but there was a nurse who was doing like a butt implant or something, a butt injection,
and like butt injections, and they were on.
It's a plump them up.
I go, thanks.
So, I just don't get it, but so this nurse
was not there for a simple traffic ticket.
She was there for grants,
she was going to court for Grand Theft Auto.
Really?
For stealing a fucking car.
Oh my God.
First of all, check your doctor's office.
He's like, he's like, yeah, I really like.
I have one of my nurse to be up for Grand Theft Auto.
Well, she's giving me button injections.
I just don't.
He's like, Grand Theft Auto.
Okay, drop your pants and watch.
She's giving me a button injection.
She's lifting my wallet,
I'm putting it back in her pocket.
Grand Theft Auto. Wow, that's a big one, right? That is a big one. That's one of those ones I couldn't put a hip-hat in her butt. Oh, you're saying. Grand theft auto.
Wow, that's a big one, right?
That is a big one.
That's one of those ones I think you go to jail for
for a long time.
Yeah.
I auto, why?
Why would you even assume that?
I don't know.
Trissy, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
And then I saw one where like a girl,
it was a domestic violence situation.
And so the girl was there to get a required restraining order.
Okay.
Meaning that the prosecutors, the municipality was asking that this restraining order be put into place, regardless of what the woman felt and the abused woman.
So they are in this courtroom. Now this is not a funny story. So I'm not going to make light of it.
They are in this courtroom in the Zoom courtroom and the prosecutor, a sharp-eyed prosecutor.
So now they've got the girl, they've got the man
who abused her, right?
And then they've got the defense attorney,
and his defense attorney, and then they've got
the judge and the prosecutor, the sharp-eyed prosecutor.
Ladies, did you see this one?
I did see this one, yeah.
And the judge is asking the girl questions,
and she's kind of hemmin' and hawn.
Mm-hmm.
You know, maybe probably not.
I don't know.
Maybe it was a misunderstanding.
And the sharp-eyed prosecutor catches her
looking to the side.
Every time a question is asked,
she looks to the side and she notices
that the gentleman who looks like he's in a different
location altogether, the guy who's supposed to abuse her,
is either shaking his head or nodding his head.
Oh, wow.
He was there in the room.
Yeah.
He noticed that this was going on, but very subtle.
You watch the video.
It was very subtle.
He was kind of like, you know, he give like a little, you know, click of the jaw, right?
Wow.
Or like a little, a little head nod.
And so he was coaching this woman on what to say.
And so the prosecutor says,
Judge, I have reason to believe that Mr. So-in-so
may be in the same house right now.
And I fear for the safety, is it okay?
And she had already coordinated.
While she was watching this happen,
she was typing to the local police department.
To get out there.
And then was knocking on the door
when she said, I have reason to believe,
but the sheriff's officer is out front.
Can you please have both of them step out front?
And no shit, they were in the same room.
They were in the same room.
They were just across from each other.
Sharp eyed prosecutor.
And you know, she was begging for him not to go to jail
and he was begging not to go to jail.
And the judge was like, I don't fuck yourself.
Yeah, as well as should.
It's a wild, wild world we live in.
I'm telling you this right now. Let me give you a little story about flying a plane.
Okay.
Yes, do tell.
I am horrified of heights.
Absolutely horrified.
Really?
I could not get up on the roof of my house right now, even though it's a relatively flat slope.
I could not get up, get up, get up on the roof of my house right now, even though it's a relatively flat slope. I could get up on the roof of my house right now without feeling a ton of anxiety.
Now I could do it, but it would give me a ton of anxiety.
Unrequited heights, heights where there are no protections against falling, to me, is
extremely upsetting to my, to just, I can't do it.
You can ask Astrid, we went to the top of the Sears Tower, which I've been to before, right?
And I don't like it, but it's a good view,
and if I can stand a couple feet away from the window,
I'm okay, right?
But now they have this walkout thing
where you walk out on the glass,
and it actually cracked a couple months ago,
which is if that would have happened to me,
oh, I would never get on an elevator again.
But we get up, we have to wait in line,
because there's only one,
and everyone wants to take a picture there.
Yeah, and then they have a camera up top,
and it takes a picture of you, you can lay on it,
you know, lay on it, give me away from it,
lay on it, you people fucking insane, insane.
So, Asher and I go up there,
I'm dating Asher at the time,
I get up there, get up there,
and as soon as the person in front of us goes,
I literally, my knees buckled.
Like I literally kind of fell to the ground
and Astrid kind of had to pick me up.
And I'm like, I'm sorry.
I really want to do this with you,
but it's just too much.
It's like sensory overload.
And she's like, no, it's okay.
So she steps out there and, you know, brave her
and look like a big vagina.
So me and Heights, right? Yeah.
However, were you facing your fears? I know. I do.
I just like my, my brother-in-law is a pilot or training to be a pilot.
Uh-huh. Danny Gustavo's brother. Yeah.
And so he came to the United States to look at flight schools.
And we went to a flight school here in Atlanta.
And this wonderful flight instructor's name was Rohan,
like a younger guy and he has a flight
instructing international flight school,
but he mainly deals with children,
like teenagers getting their licenses.
That's perfect for you.
Perfect, right?
I am, yeah.
That's a work, right?
I agree with you.
But we're talking, him and Danny are talking
and he says, you know, and we've
been to a number of other flight schools and they basically just sit you down and they give
you a package, they walk you around the school, they show you a plane and, you know, cake see
you later. But this guy's like, you know what? The best way that we can know if we're going
to work well together is to get up and fly. Yeah. And so Danny's like, okay, sure, and
he's flown before, right? He's been flying in Venezuela. And so he's like, yeah, well,
when can we do that? He's like, well, let's do it right now. Let's go. I got the plane available
You know whatever and so we jump in the plane. I jump in the plane right and now I'm like holy shit
I'm in the plane
Four person plan right yeah, and we go up and he's
Are you wearing hold on? Were you wearing a leather bomber jacket?
Yeah, no, but I have been in an open cockpit plane before,
right on the like the flight where you go around the city,
right, which was twice as scary as this plane,
because you didn't even know that that plane
had been certified for anything, let alone flight, right?
It couldn't, like we sat on the ground for 25 minutes
while the guy tried to start the engine.
It was just like, I was like, oh,
they're gonna have to ask her and she's like,
and I'm like, I swear, and then they have this like tin floor,
but the tin floor has like two big holes in it
at the bottom where the metal meets,
so you can literally see through the fucking floor.
Oh my God.
And you're 10,000 feet, and you know,
it's not 10,000 feet, but 2,000 feet in the air,
it's really scared, 2,000 feet, 10,000 feet,
doesn't fucking matter if you fall your dying, right?
Yes.
So anyway, so back to the story,
so we get up and he's having Danny fly,
but Danny's flown before, but he's having Danny fly.
This guy's never in the controls.
He never touched the controls.
But the real pilot never touched the control.
Oh wow.
He said, okay, checklist, okay,
blah, blah, okay, this, let's talk to the guys.
You know, do the man, you know,
around on a flight number two,
and a toilet room, somewhere, whatever.
And then, right, man, away we go, right?
So then we fly up toward my part of town up north,
and you know, we got a little space around us,
and he's like, okay, let's practice some stalls,
and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
where they cut off the end?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
and so I'm like, back there, you know,
I got the microphone, and I'm like,
and this row hand guy looks back at me,
he goes, you know, that's not for you, huh?
And I'm like, bro, like if we could not do this part,
I just would appreciate it.
And he's like, oh, no, we got to do this part.
And I'm like, but what if the plane doesn't turn back on?
He goes, it's like a car, you know, once you get going,
you can always turn the plane back on.
You know, as long as the engine's working,
he's like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
So we do some stalls.
I shit myself a couple times, and then, you know,
we, and then he, and then Damien lands the plane and I'm like super and fast.
Yes. I'm like holy shit. Well, I get fascinated with this over the next couple of weeks. I am fascinated by this whole flight experience.
So Brian picks up the phone. He calls old Ryan and Rohan. He says, hey, listen. I'd like to do this.
I'd like to learn how to become a pilot. Show me how. Yeah. And so Rohan says, come on down. I'll have a little speech It's I came on down and I kind of knew it was coming
But he says the best way you and I get to learn shoulders
Let's get out there and fuck and I'm like you know what?
Okay, just no stalling right he goes nope no stalling. We won't do any stalling today you and me. Let's take a flight
So we go oats, you know beautiful day outside here and lands up
Oh, and we're getting the plane and he goes okay take out your checklist and I'm like take out my what he's like take out your checklist
I'm like check list. He's like right there, and I take out the checklist
He's like okay go to go through your checklist
He's going through the checklist and I'm like and he's like we press that button. That's this this that's basically
Actually, they've turned on your alt eminer and ball. Oh, you had never done this before never
Wow, and so he's like okay
I want you to call to the tower and this is how you say well
I've worked and rated before so calling to the tower part was one shit
I could understand right and I'm like, you know
Delta 4 4 3 this is a maybe a 3 5 I should come with you
And then the guy
Runway M does the right sound I can't I'll call it clear for that guy
I'm like cool and then he's like, okay, let's go and I'm like, okay
And then he didn't know and then he's and I was like, I'm like, I have my hands up and he's like, oh, I'm like, oh, that's cool. And then he's like, okay, let's go. And I'm like, okay. And then he did it.
No.
And then he's, and I was like, I'm like,
I have my hands up and he's like, no, no, you,
let's go.
Put your hands, put your feet on the thing.
You drive with your feet.
And so we go, right?
And then we do this, and then we do another,
you check list, you pull off to the side,
you do another checklist, just like to do with the big blind.
And then he's, and then all of a sudden,
he has me line up and I'm like, clearly,
he's not going to let someone fly a plane
that's never flown a plane.
That's against all common sense.
He's just like, he's letting me do the cool,
he's letting me do the cool parts.
I go through the motions, get used to this,
these are the things you have to learn in order to fly.
But I'll fly and I'll show you what it's like
and then when later on down the road, you get to fly too.
And I'm like, okay, cool.
And so we position ourselves on the runway and he goes okay
So what I'm gonna have you do is I want you to call to the tower and get you cleared for your final takeoff
And then you're just gonna hit that real quick and we're looking for this number and then you're gonna pull back on the yoke
And I'm like no
So I go no row hand and he's like Brian
Fly the plane and I'm like I can't fly the plane and he's like the good news is once the plane. And he's like, the good news is,
once you get up there, it really flies itself.
You just have to pay attention to two parts,
getting up off the ground and getting back down.
And I'm like, you're not gonna let me land.
And he's like, that's not even worried about that part yet.
He's like, I probably won't let you land.
So I'm like, oh my God.
But you know, I'm like, what do I do now?
I'm like, what do I do now?
Yeah, my adrenaline is like,
oh, my head is so probably so red. You're sweating through your bomber jacket. I'm like, what do I do now? Yeah, my adrenaline is like, oh, the my head is so probably so red.
Sweat and through your bomber jacket.
I'm sweating.
I probably have shorts and sandals on it.
I'm like, flattin' this play.
I think I'm going for a chitchat with a row hand.
And here I am at the end of the feed street
fucking terminal, getting ready to take off and assess the,
I'm like, holy shit. And so he's, and and assess them. I'm like holy shit
And so he's a new so I'm like I'm gonna do four or five seconds already for take off and he's like okay
Go and I'm like oh so I press the little thing and he's like go go go all the way all the way
And then we're just riding down the runways, keep it straight.
Holy, this thing is going all over.
Like I'm like, oh my goodness.
I'm like a fucking teenager.
It's just drank a bottle of golden grain
going all over the road.
Wraa, wraa, wraa, wraa, wraa.
But then he's like, you know, you hit 80 and he's like,
okay, you know, I want you to gently pull back on the yolk.
Here's Brian.
Wraa!
Can we go, right?
Straight up.
He's like, you're gonna stall, you're gonna stall, flatten it out, like that.
And I'm like, ah, he's like, love, love. There's trees at the end and I'm like, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh? And he's like, how else do you think you're gonna learn? He goes, when you go, what do you want me to do?
Sit on your lap and he's like,
when someone taught you how to drive, what did you do?
Well, I guess I'm gonna talk about
there a bit of like a simulator or something.
Me too.
Well, I think there are.
I do see it, it's not Rohan's style.
And then he let me land the plane
on the very first time I ever flew,
which if you've ever flown,
and I only know this because I did a number of hours
in air, I only know that landing is absolutely
the most dangerous part of any flight, right?
Taking off and landing,
but landing is way more dangerous than taking off.
Taking off is easy.
If you can hit air-spreet and you can pull back,
you're probably gonna go up in the air,
or you can at least, you know,
stop somewhere down the runway.
Yeah.
But landing, you know,
there's only one way to do landing,
and that's to do it right.
That's the tricky part.
And I landed it.
Like, and I was never so scared in my entire life.
Never.
And my landing was much better than my takeoff,
but it still wouldn't all that great.
We were kind of,
I can only imagine, you know, they have a big,
like a restaurant at the end of that,
at the end of the runway.
Yeah, I've ended that place. Wonderful. It's this little airport and you have a big, like a restaurant at the end of that, at the end of the runway, right? Yeah, it's a little airport, and you have a lot of commercial traffic
for private jets and stuff in Atlanta.
And they have this wonderful restaurant, Big patio.
You know, you can listen to the people talking on the,
you know, you can have the little headsets and listen.
But you watch all the planes coming in and going
on these two different runways.
Well, they probably saw this guy just skipping down the,
ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, going on these two different runways. Well, they probably saw this guy just skipping down the
like a duck like a duck with a one wing like oh it's Brian.
You hear the guy on the like that you know the guy in the tower. Tony or excuse me everything okay.
This is one of us.
Yeah this is SL444.
Yeah everything's okay.
Can you please have fire and medical waiting at the end?
Roger that trainer fairs
He scared heights. Oh shit
Holy it was the most it was the most unbelievable thing like people who know me who really know me
Can't believe no that for one second that I actually flew a plane
or that I actually once skydived.
All right, I remember that.
There's a video of that.
We think Nico's the ghost.
Check me out, five seconds before I jump out of an airplane.
The guy basically had to drag my lifeless body
and push it out of the airplane.
I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Brian. We're doing, we're skydiving. You can't even climb a ladder.
What do you think skydiving?
And I just got like, you know, upset at that.
And I was like, I would skydive you guys
when I asked me and Kevin's like,
get down here.
Yeah.
Get here and never happened.
He's like, and then he called me back three minutes later.
He's like, I already paid for you.
And I'm like, oh, oh, you, you want?
I already paid for you.
You got to be here now.
Come on, you got it.
You got 45 minutes to get here
And no shit that they push me out of that airplane. I screamed like a little woman
Like Mia like a teething Mia
And that was before the plane took off
I was like when I was on the ground practicing
Was I glad I was dead? Ah, I'm glad I survived.
Yeah, me too.
I think I might do it again under the right circumstances,
but I have children now.
So it's absolutely yes and I,
to be flying a plane when you're scared of heights
and jumping out of that same airplane
when you have children.
And by the way, your insurance does not cover,
you know, life insurance some life insurance did not cover
Pilots student pilots. They just won't do it. Yeah, so
TCP podcast.com is where you go and you can find our entire library audio or video at the commercial break on Instagram
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They say at the commercial make on Instagram? I think I said that.
Then go to Clubhouse,
we're gonna be sending all kind of links
and invites, make sure you make it
if you can to Bill Burr on May 2nd
and the comedy podcast's club.
And then we'd also love to see you at Steven Wright
on the ninth and then Suzy Esman on the 16th.
Yeah, each Sunday.
Each Sunday at nine.
Nine.
At nine p.m., nine p.m. Eastern standard time
here in the United States.
If you need an invite, you can't, you don't understand what the fuck we're talking about.
Just the EMS.
And someone from our staff will get back to you.
Yes.
Someone from our staff.
Brian.
This guy.
I mean, sometimes you need me.
Okay, well listen, I don't know how much more I can talk about tonight.
Today.
It's a middle of the afternoon, I'll be tonight.
I'm already tired.
Yeah.
Until next time.
Bye!
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