The Commercial Break - Willy Brain Bryan
Episode Date: April 3, 2024Bryan's tiny mouse brain can only do so much! Today, though, he uses it for his billion dollar idea: TCBets! Stoner movies Does Kristin Wiig hate us? The Bachelor making us cry Tv hugs The Dodger...s, their pitcher & his interpreter Casinos aren’t in the business of losing The Shohei Break Shohei Ohtani Betting Krissy’s the ultimate Playa Bryan’s billion dollar idea Getting hoodwinked Willy Brain Bryan Who is in charge of commercial statistics? Pre-washing LINKS: Send us show ideas, comments, questions or concerns by texting us  212.433.3TCB text or leave us a voicemail Watch TCB on YouTube Creator: Bryan Green Co-Host: Bryan Green Co-Host: Krissy Hoadley Producer: Christina A. Producer: Gustavo B. To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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All you ladies pop your pussy like this.
I ain't popping my pussy anymore. It's been popped for years
No pussy popping here
On this episode of the commercial break
So my little mouse brain decides to pick the smaller one will Willy brain. To pick the one with more fluid outs.
My Willy brain.
That's right.
One of our listeners, Kaden, says, why is everything that Brian names have to do with
a dick?
I don't know.
I honestly don't.
It just turned out that way.
Maybe I'm repressed or something.
I don't know. The next episode of the commercial break starts now.
Hey, guys and kittens, welcome back to the commercial break.
I'm Brian Green.
This is the sexy nude chef of this show, Kristen Joy Hudley.
Best to you, Kristen.
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
All righty, righty, righty.
All right, all right, all right.
Don't mind if I do.
I keep getting older. They stay the same age. Oh, Matt McSick. The podcast universe! Alrighty, righty, righty! Don't mind if I do!
I keep getting older, they stay the same age!
Oh, Matt Mixey!
Ah, good old Matthew McConaughey!
Why is he in jail for that one line?
Who's cancelling that guy?
Ah, that line did not age well.
Did not age well.
But it was a different time back in the early 90s and the 70s.
And they were already portraying a different time. Yeah, I were in the 70s. What a movie man. I god damn did we watch the shit out of that?
Yeah, I thought what is that called? I didn't remember what it's called fast times at Ridgemont. Hi
American Graffiti no
What is it you know it say it say it out loud
What is it?
What is it?
You don't know it?
It's on the tip of my tongue and I watched it so much.
I just haven't seen it in a while.
It is.
Now I have to fucking find it.
Why do I have to fucking find it?
You're already on your phone.
I thought you were gonna know it.
Thought you were gonna know it.
Days that confuse.
Days that confuse.
I know.
There were quite a few movies that came out with similar names like Half Baked and Friday,
all the stoner movies.
Fried egg.
Friday.
Oh, I thought you said Friday.
Friday, not Friday.
Friday.
This is your brain on drugs.
This is why you shouldn't do drugs, kid.
You can't even remember the name of a movie
that you watched one million times in high school.
But to be fair, I wasn't watching it for the title. I was watching it because it was a funny movie.
It was really funny.
I loved it.
Speaking of funny shows, movies,
I walked in on Astrid watching that Palm Royale,
I think it's what it's called, Kristen Wiig.
Yes, she's got a new show on Apple.
Yes, she does.
And so I walked in,
Astrid was watching like the third episode
and I got stuck.
You know how you get stuck?
I was like coming from the studio late night of editing
and going down terrible rabbit holes on the internet.
And then I, my brain's all a flutter.
And then I walk into the room and she's watching the show
and I'm going to the bathroom to take a shower.
And then I turn around just to see what she's watching.
And I got literally standing there for 30 minutes. Before I- Well, you always wanna see what Kristen Wiig's doing. Yeah, around just to see what she's watching and I got literally standing there for 30 minutes before I-
Well, you always want to see what Kristen Wiig's doing.
Yeah, I always want to see what she's doing.
And she looks great in the show and she's so fucking hilarious.
And I guess she wrote the show too, Palm Royale.
So you know, Kristen, come on the show and talk about it.
Why doesn't Kristen Wiig come on the show?
Why won't she come on the show?
I can think of a few reasons.
I can think of so many reasons why she wouldn't come on the show.
That's what I mean.
Yeah, like if you put a pro and con list together, if you're a celebrity and you put a pro and
con list as we're figuring out, put a pro and con list coming on the commercial break.
There aren't many pros.
There are a whole shitload of cons.
So thank you to everyone who's decided to show up so far.
Speaking of, I do want to thank our guest this week, Paul Scheer,
for coming in. One of the nicest guys in the business, as if I know anybody else in the business,
my little brother, who works at the production side of things. But Paul was super sweet. I really
enjoyed our conversation with him, paulscheer.com, and then go pre-order his book. I just want to
shout it out because he's a nice guy. I can't wait to read that book. I know. Well,
it's coming out May 21st, I think is when it's coming out. May 21st. You can
pre-order it now on Amazon and the name of the book is Joyful Recollections of
Trauma. So please go and order tickets are available for whatever shows. He's
got to paulshear.com. He's got all that shit there. He's like, he's doing everything.
He's already done so much too.
I mean, just looking at his Wikipedia or IMDB,
whatever briefly to get an idea.
I mean, there were so many.
I feel so bad when I look at everybody else's
accomplishments and we're like,
started this podcast at age 71.
I'm now 76 and I've met two celebrities that I like
and Paul's one of them.
So there you go, paulashere.com.
Paul Royal, Kristen, you're welcome to come on the show
if you want, like Kristen's listening.
Like, who am I talking to?
We're still the dumb podcast, no one listens to.
But then also, you know what I got caught in
the very next night?
I get Paul Royal one night,
that's probably Saturday night, I think.
And then Sunday night or Monday night, I get caught. I got sucked in to that fucking bachelor
finale. Goddamn, man. Exact same scenario. Long night of editing, go walk in, Astrid's got this
on. She is weeping like a baby. I mean, our two kids are right next to her, they're sleeping,
and she's just got tears just streaming down her face.
It's emotional.
And I'm like, what is going on?
So here's a little recap, because probably not a lot of our listeners watch The Bachelor,
but if you do, good for you, then you already know what happens.
And there's no other podcast that recapped The Bachelor, too.
No, no other podcast.
Only every other podcast recaps The Bachelor.
Howard Stern recaps The Bachelor for God's sakes.
He like watches it religiously.
He talks to their production staff, or at least he did when I was listening to him like
five or six years ago, he would like talk to their production staff about, you know,
twists and turns.
Anyway, there's a girl on there who is just super fucking sweet.
She's deaf, she's going deaf, so she's got a cochlear implant then.
Yeah, I had a friend who had those. Yeah, so she is, and the maturity on this woman
at such a young age, she knows she's not gonna be picked.
There's two girls left.
She knows she's not gonna be picked.
It's clear and it's obvious to everyone.
And the bachelor I do have to say,
whatever his fucking name is,
seems like a really fucking standup dude.
I mean, he really does seem like a standup dude.
So she walks out, the beach, the whole setting,
are is she, will he, won't he, whatever, right?
But I think she knows just because of the production,
the way the production is unfolding,
she's not gonna get chosen also.
So she walks up there, he gives his spiel, you know,
it's been an amazing ride with you.
It's been a journey to love and I did love you.
I do love you, I wanna love you,
but I just can't be that guy for you.
You know, he says a few words, they're nice enough. He seems very sincere. He's crying and she's trying to hold back the
tears. And she says, you know what, dude? I know you're not going to pick me and that's okay.
I want you to be happy. That's what I want for you. But I need to let you know. And I need to walk
off this island on my own. Like I don't need you to babysit me. I'm walking out on my own with my
head held high.
She goes, and this is what she said to him,
listen to these fucking words by basically
someone that's more than half, that's less than half my age.
She says, if I love someone
that is not the right person this much,
imagine how much I'll love the right person.
She says that on national fucking television.
Now I'm gonna cry.
Officially making her the queen of everything, right? I'm like, fuck. And I'm staring at my
daughter, she's laying next to my wife and I'm like, my wife is this human being. If I can
raise my daughters with one fucking ounce of the energy, strength, charisma, and just charity that this person,
this woman showed up there, The Bachelor is manufactured to break hearts.
This girl wouldn't have her heart broken if it wasn't for this stupid television show.
You know what I'm saying?
This guy wouldn't have to pick between two people that he loves if it wasn't for this
stupid television show manufacturing this drama. And we're all watching it and my wife's crying real tears and everybody's
crying real tears. And it's hard, I imagine, under that spotlight to be anything but petty.
It's hard probably to be anything but petty. But she says those words, she walks off, she
grabs the girl who's going to win, gives her a hug, tells her, I hope that you have the
best life. Like, I want this for you, do this. And you just want to grab the girl who's gonna win, gives her a hug, tells her, I hope that you have the best life. Like, I want this for you, do this.
And you just wanna grab the girl through the television,
like, give her a hug, but then you realize
she doesn't need your fucking hug.
She's gonna be just fine.
This girl is gonna have piles of men all over the place
looking to date her, and if her television appearance
is any indication of the person that she is,
she will pick a
good one.
She will figure this out.
She understands this.
It's just like, I want, I just want to like, I don't know, want to give her like a TV hug,
you know?
Ever want to give somebody a TV hug?
Like, God damn.
Like, and I'm watching those like seven little Johnstons and you know, all those little,
the shows about the little people.
And sometimes it's not about that they're little people. It's about the day also our human beings getting their hearts broken and all those little shows about the little people. And sometimes it's not about that they're little people,
it's about that they also are human beings
getting their hearts broken and all this.
So this is one episode where this girl
on one of these shows is like,
she's going through a breakup, it's bad.
You know, she's having, she's going through it.
She's going through the shit.
And I just wanna give her a TV hug.
That's all I wanna do is just give her a TV hug.
I can't even imagine if I was going through
a bad breakup on TV.
On television.
No.
Manufactured for the drama.
I would be like, I quit.
Manufactured for effect.
I'm done.
I know.
I'm just going to go crawl up in my bed.
Here's Astrid just weeping like a child, right?
And Brian, of course, can't let any moment die without bringing in his ratchet ass opinion.
And I'm like, none of this would happen if they wouldn't have this fucking stupid show.
And she's like, you're right,
I'm gonna go back to crying now.
Thanks, Brian, for ruining everything.
I'm like, okay, sorry, I'm sorry.
I apologize.
But then so I get wrapped into watching
the last half hour of that too.
I was like, fuck, man, look at my whole,
I just wanted to take a shower
and now I'm crying over the girl.
I'm crying over the bachelor.
Look at this.
Well, you've already been seeing, you know,
clips of different shows, right, throughout the season? over the Bachelor. Look at this. Well, you've already been seeing, you know, clips
of different shows, right, throughout the season?
Wasn't there something with the sisters?
The first episode, there was sisters that were there.
And I thought for sure they were gonna take the ride,
probably close to the end.
And I don't know what happened
because I never watched anything else,
except for then one little snippet,
like, what do they call that?
The hometowns, the home visits, the hometowns or whatever? And I was watching the visit of this particular girl. I was watching her
visit to her house, right? The guy visiting her house. And her parents seemed so fucking,
what is, where did I fall off the turnip truck? And why can't I have a bit of grace like any
of these human beings? How do you do that on national fucking, I can't even get through an interview here at the commercial break
without falling directly on my face. And these people are saying things like, if I'm loving
the wrong one this much, imagine how much I'll love the right one. It's like, what,
where did that come from? Did someone write that? I don't want to know. I don't want to
know if someone wrote that for her. I want to remember it the way that I remember it.
No, but I think that's actually a good idea to maybe prepare because if you think about
it, if you go on this show, how many people do you start off with?
I don't know, 20 or something like 25.
Okay, 25. I don't know. But you know, your odds are you're not going to make it to the
end. And maybe it is a good idea to have something prepared that makes you just look amazing
at the end if it comes down to it.
Yes.
I would think, you're so right about this.
I would think, like I bet the prevailing energy.
Yeah, fuck you.
Sometimes that happens too, but that's a real honest reaction also.
Like you can't blame somebody for being kind of pissed off.
But I would imagine that the energy going into this is I'm going to be on The Bachelor.
I'm going to be semi famous.
Right. If I can make millions of people, millions of people are going to watch this.
If I can just make it four or five episodes, I'm definitely going to have some kind of
notoriety because of this.
Right. I'm sure some people go in with a plan to have a certain personality so that they can
attract more attention. I'm sure some people don't give a shit who the dude is, they're going
to figure out a way to fall in love with him. And then I'm sure that there are girls like Daisy,
this girl, right? I'm sure there are girls like Daisy who probably have all of that in their head,
but then really find themselves in a situation where, oh, I actually like this dude, like I'm
falling in love with this dude. But then you start getting dragged toward the end. It's got to get harder and harder.
You're building real feelings. And if you don't have something prepared, you're going to be
reactionary. This girl just knew it for weeks and was writing her speech, or it came out of her mouth
because she's God here on earth and we just don't know it yet. But the maturity, the maturity under
the lights and millions of people watching and really what would be for almost anybody
else an embarrassing moment is a moment of strength and defiance.
Good for her.
I loved it. I thought it was awesome. And I hate, I don't like the, like I watched The
Bachelor for like running commentary, like we would do on a mountain monsters. That's
how I watched The Bachelor. Ask Astrid, she hates it.
I come in, I'm like, ah yeah, I'm afraid for my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my that is when you come into the room, she hits pause and
says, hey, honey.
Hey, honey.
Yeah.
This is what I've learned to do with Jeff now.
Oh, you just pause and then you say, hey, honey?
I pause and then I say, hey, and I talk to him for a minute and he comes in and out of
the room and there's no him getting stuck making his comments about how dumb it is or
I can't believe you're watching another Housewives show.
Whatever it is. I mean, it is the watching another Housewives show. Whatever it is.
Well, I mean, it is the Housewives.
Unless I'm cool with them making comments about it.
If you're in that mood.
Yeah, yeah.
If I'm not, I just pause it.
Yeah, well, I definitely, I tried to be as-
And then you wouldn't get stuck watching it.
Well, Asher was crying,
so I tried to be as tender as possible, that's true.
But then sometimes I end up like,
okay, I'm glad I stopped for a second.
Well, once I saw Daisy up there, I had walked in like right after she had walked off,
and I'm like, wait, he didn't pick her?
Which I didn't even know her name, now I do, Daisy.
But I'm like, he didn't pick Daisy?
And she's like, no.
And she's like, you know, Asher's crying.
And I said, what a fucking bonehead.
Like she's, I've only seen 16 minutes of the entire season,
but she's clearly the one that you should pick. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's intelligent, she's, I've only seen 16 minutes of the entire season, but she's clearly the one that you should pick.
She's beautiful, she's smart, she's intelligent, she seems emotionally mature, she's been through
enough life to last seven lifetimes, and she should be picked, clearly.
And Astrid's like, she did this thing, and then she said this thing, and it was so beautiful,
and that's why I'm crying.
And I'm like, okay, well, rewind it.
I guess now I gotta stay around and watch it.
Not gonna get filled in on what's going on.
You actually made the rewind happen, okay.
I actually made the rewind happen.
I think what Asard should do is,
I'm sure what she does do on a lot of nights,
which is pretend she's asleep.
You ever done that?
I used to do that with my dad.
My dad used to be walking down the hallway, I'd hear him.
And so I'd turn off the TV and put the covers over my head.
He never fooled him. He'd be like, I know hear him. And so I'd turn off the TV and put the covers over my head. And never fooled him.
He'd be like, I know you're up, keep the TV off,
go to bed and free Willy.
Free Willy.
We've already gotten comments about the free Willy episode,
just letting you know.
Everyone is really sad that I had to free Willy.
Yeah.
Well, I think the average life expectancy of a rat,
not in the wild, is like six months. So, I probably lived with him most of his life. I think I had him
for two and a half. Half his life. He was with me for half his life. But I almost cried as many
tears over Daisy as I did over Willie. I'll tell you that much right now. And then you know
what? I think they were going to ask her to be the bachelorette. This is Daisy in case
you want to know. That's Daisy. I think they were going to ask her to be the bachelorette.
I think that's the way they made it seem.
Well, they usually do that. Somebody in the runner up category gets to be the bachelorette.
So they brought her out, you know, after all the drama or whatever, they brought her out
and the guy asks her,
are you ready to date again? Are you ready for love? Are you ready to find it? And she goes,
you know what? It's been a really interesting experience. I've learned a lot. I'm focusing on
me. I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of the way that I handled myself. And I think right now I'm good.
And I was like, wow, if they offered her that opportunity, she turned it down. But also then,
maybe I think like give,
maybe she's got somewhere, someone's telling her, give it a year, go out and do other stuff,
ride on this social media presence, and then come back to it another year. Don't they do that too? Like, you know, the bachelorette from two seasons ago.
It's a whole machine. I don't know.
I don't know. Again, why can't we be a part of any of this? Why don't we have one fucking good idea?
Why don't we have one fucking good production idea Why don't we have one fucking good production idea?
Do we have a dating show?
Whose house our house
Whose house this guy's house that girl's house
So when you come to my house don't get snarky with me, young man.
But I'll leave that alone for right now.
Okay.
We're going to be back.
We've got lots more to talk about.
Stay tuned.
I know you're already on your phone, so pull up Instagram and follow us at the commercial
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Done? Perfect. Thank you. Since you're at the ready, why not text us hello at 212-433-3TCB
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Speaking of having it all, let's listen to our fabulous sponsors
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Oh God, what a good time here in the studio.
Have you been hearing about this Sho-hany Otani guy, the Dodgers pitcher?
Oh, the interpreter?
Yeah.
Is it Sho-hany?
Sho-hany, I think is his name?
Yeah, Sho-hany.
I think I'm saying that correctly.
And if I'm not, well then, just mistake me.
I haven't known how to pronounce it.
Yeah, Sho-hany Otani.
Let's see if we can figure out how to pronounce it so we're not slaughtering this guy's name.
How do you say, how to say, his name is Sho-hi-o-tani.
Sho-hi-o-tani.
Sho-hi-o-tani.
Okay.
Sho-hi-o-tani.
All right.
So here's the deal. Dodgers make a record contract with this superstar pitcher coming out of Japan.
They bring along his interpreter because he doesn't speak English. This is not an uncommon
phenomenon in sports. There's a couple golf professional golfers that have these interpreters,
and the interpreters sometimes kind of become synonymous with the
actual player. You know, they get, they kind of get recognized as, oh, that guy's with
that guy or that guy is with that girl or whatever. So this interpreter has been with
him for a long time. Actually, I found stories back like a number of years where he is actually
a baseball player himself and he played catcher on some of the, in the same games that Sohani did. So he, the interpreter, gets busted stealing millions
of dollars from this pitcher, claiming that he made some really big bets with a non-legal
bookie, a well-known bookie who is not on the up and up apparently, right? So he makes
these millions of dollars worth of bets and then Shohani then pays for this debt. When
confronted with this information, because the money comes out of Shohani's account,
when confronted with this, the interpreter stands in, when confronted with, why are you
wiring this guy millions of dollars, right? He's a known bookie. And professional sports,
as they should be, have their eye closely on the betting situation. Because you can't bet
on your own sport. It is a dumb idea. Think about that. Pete Rose is banned from baseball for life
because he did the same thing. It's understandable when you have that much money that you got to get
your kicks somehow and gambling, a lot of people are addicted to. A lot of people get their high
from gambling. But when they confront him with, why are you wiring this guy millions of dollars,
the interpreter steps in, says, it was me,
and Shahani gave me the money to pay him back as a favor to me. He gave me money to get out of debt with this particular bookie. Okay, that's one version of the story, but the interpreter says,
he knew about it. He allowed this to happen. He knew about it. I didn't steal anything, right? He gave me the money. Yes.
Then, Shohani comes out, this guy gets fired. Shohani comes out and says,
no, I actually didn't know anything about it. I had no idea. He stole the money from me, right?
But there is some suspicion that it's possible that the betting was happening with Shohani,
that he was actually the one doing the betting, the interpreter came in to take the fall, and probably some agreement is made behind the scenes. You can
understand why people are making this conclusion. It's not a hard conclusion to draw. Is it
true? Is it not true? Who knows? I guess they're going to find out out. But the Dodgers have
now made this hundreds plus million dollar investment in this pitcher who is a superstar,
who will be good for the sport, who will be good for international appeal, who would be good
in so many ways. And because he has been such a big deal, you cannot not let him
play baseball. Like, I don't think under any circumstances, whether he was the one
betting, whether the interpreter was the one betting, I think the MLB will find a
way to make it appear as if Johnny
had nothing to do with it. Why? Because he's too big of a superstar to let go, even over
millions of dollars worth of betting on his own sport. Now, apparently, according to sources
that I have, sports sources that I have, deep sports sources.
Deep inside the MLB.
Deep inside the MLB, also known as my brother Patrick,
who knows everything about sports and I don't.
The betting was only placed
on non-baseball related activities or so they say.
How do you even know that?
I don't know, if you've got a bookie just writing things
down, like you just burned the paper, that's it.
I don't know, you'll never know.
But this certainly could be one of the biggest scandals to rock baseball in recent years,
but I guarantee no matter what happens, this gets swept under the rug and he continues
to play baseball.
I guarantee you.
Yeah.
Seems like that.
The problem is, the challenge is with betting being so prolific, right?
There are literally hundreds of companies where you can download an app and you can
bet away on anything.
And it's legal in 30 something states now.
It's really legal in every state if you know how to use a VPN and everybody does. It's
built into your iPhone if you in case you want to. Here, let me help you be a degenerate.
It's built into your iPhone. Go ahead, bet. The reality of living in 2024 is that betting
is huge business.
Oh, yeah. Reality of living in 2024 is that betting is huge business.
Oh, yeah.
And it's instant, and you can do it quickly, and you can do it on anything.
Will the next ball hit in this baseball game be the center field, left field, or right field?
I'm going to bet $500 on that.
Oh, I know. Yeah, you can bet on anything.
Anything. What color shoes is this guy going to wear onto the court tonight?
What, you know, is he going to wear onto the court tonight? What,
you know, is he going to make three points or four points in the next two minutes? It's literally
micro-dosed in a way that you can bet so quickly, so fast, and just without thinking about it almost.
You just, it's just luck of the draw. But the truth is, the house always wins. It has to.
That's the way it goes. Yeah., I'm doing like homework on this guy,
right? And like thinking about, okay, let's-
Sohani?
Yeah, Sohani. I'm like, okay, let me think about how we approach this on the commercial break.
I'm doing homework on this guy in bedding in general. And I start to go down a rabbit hole
of videos where high rollers who know how to count cards or who have some kind of advantage,
not illegal advantage, but have figured out
some kind of advantage on whatever game they're playing,
walking into casinos, spending hundreds of thousands,
sometimes millions of dollars,
winning those millions of dollars,
and then getting backed off the tables
and kicked out of the casinos.
And in some cases threatened
as they're trying to walk out with their winnings.
One guy claims, I'm not even saying his name because I don't know if this story is true
and a lot of people question it online, but it's got millions and millions of views.
This story does about a young kid who goes in, he wins, I forget what the number is,
let's just say $3 million.
They back him off the table.
They tell him he has to leave.
He's no longer welcome at the casino.
He goes to the cage to collect his winnings in cash. They give him the cash and he is followed by a blacked out, like, you know, suburban,
right? He's followed, some drama happens. In other words, he's chased down. Why would you
would walk out of a fucking casino with $3 million in cash and briefcases? I have no idea. Like,
can you wire that to my account? Can you sellell me? You have PayPal, bro? Come on,
Venmo? Cash app? Get it together. Walking out with $3 million in cash, that's insane. I mean,
I don't like walking around with $300 in cash in my wallet. But anyway, there is so many videos out
there that people have made of them getting backed off tables, you know,
kicked out of casinos for simply winning. Strong-armed. Strong-armed for simply winning.
The pit boss comes back to you, no longer welcome here, we don't want your money. You gotta close
up. You gotta go to the cage. You gotta close up. You gotta be done. Because the casinos are not in
the business of losing money. None of these platforms are. They're all in the business of
winning money. And I'm not
saying it's all bad. I don't think it's all bad. I think, you know, have a little fun betting,
whatever. Cool. But I also saw this 60 minutes special where it talks about how young men,
young, mainly single men are being mostly affected by these betting apps.
I could see that.
Because it's so easy to do, so quick, so much stimuli going on in your head.
Yeah, instant gratification.
Yeah. Listen, it's like anything. It's like alcohol, drugs, you know, the commercial break.
A little bit is fine, but you know, you get crazy with it, and then you're really going to get in
some mental health and emotional health issues. And so, I can see how it would be very tempting for a young man who just came into hundreds
of millions of dollars worth of value and some cash, how it would be easy to get your
kicks on Route 66 betting on some sports activity.
Because that's a little high for you.
You know, I have some thoughts, Johhny.
Let me share them with you. You know, I have some thoughts, Shahani. Let me share them with you. There is a little known,
but much-balle-hood podcast called The Commercial Break that has been here for four years,
making no money, suffering wildly, just trying to put content out there into the air that could
really use some of that money that you or your interpreter allegedly
are using to bet.
Beth Dombkowski
Bet on us.
Jared Sussman
Bet on us.
I'm going to make a, I am a bookie for the commercial break.
Bet on us.
Why don't you sponsor us for the entire year, $2.8 million.
We'll take it.
It's a little bit low.
The valuation is a little bit low, but you're a friend and I know you're having a hard time
right now.
Why don't you sponsor the commercial break?
And I will literally dress like you in your Dodgers outfit.
Every single episode, I will put your picture everywhere.
As a matter of fact, when we on YouTube, there's no all clips
on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube are now just going to be
your face. That's it. That's all.
That's all it is. That's all it's going to be.
I will tattoo your name across my face. That's it. That's all it is. That's all it's going to be. I will tattoo
your name across my forehead, anything you want, low, low price of $2.8 million. Chrissy and I will
accept nothing less, but possibly will accept something less. Okay. You drive a hard bargain,
$1.2 million. I can already hear. I can already hear bitching and complaining on behalf of you. Okay. $600,000,
but that's the bottom line. 250 will, I'm not going to make all the clips to your face,
but I will still get the forehead tattoo. $250,000, $20,000. And we will call it the
show Haney break. That's it. We're done. Okay. Just $25,000. That's all we need. Chohaney.
What? Chohaney. Chohaney, come to the warm embrace of the commercial break.
You're going to throw that money away at your bookie anyway. Why not throw it away at something
that could possibly gain you tens of new fans? I mean, who doesn't want that? The Dodgers will
be happy. Your interpreter will be happy. Yeah, it's a safe bet. Here's the deal. I mean, who doesn't want that? The Dodgers will be happy. Your interpreter will
be happy. Yeah, it's a safe bet. Here's the deal. I'll hire your interpreter to interpret all of
this into Japanese, the entire commercial break into Japanese. And all you have to do is pay me
to hire your interpreter. So- I think it's a fair deal.
$15,000, three-year contract. Your interpreter interpreter comes interprets every word that I say.
He wins, he's got a job, I win, I've got a sponsor. What do you think, Chrissy?
I mean, it's like I said, it's a win-win for everyone.
I think we should actually start a betting service for the commercial break.
Will Brian remember the name of what he's talking about correctly or not?
I'll take that bet. Remember the name of what he's talking about, correctly or not, in the next five minutes.
I'll take that bet.
I'll take that bet too.
I'll take that bet.
I'll take that bet long.
Will...
Does FanDuel have that bet going on on there?
Yeah, I don't know.
PrizePix, what's going on with that?
Come on, PrizePix, get on that right now.
The commercial break betting pool.
Will we surpass 100 listeners before seven years of being on this
show? Will celebrities ever return to the commercial break after certain interviews
have been broadcast or not broadcast?
Yeah, there needs to be a little section.
Will Hoadley laugh. I'd take that. That's probably not a good one for the house because you'll lose that one.
But okay, we'll go.
Will Chrissy and Brian be wearing the same outfits at the beginning of the show that
they were at the end of that show?
That's a great bet.
That's a good one.
It is, because it is definitely a crapshoot.
It's a crapshoot.
It's a crapshoot. We don't even know when we're going to change clothes.
Sometimes we just change clothes because we're like, let's have a little fun with the audience.
Let's change clothes and day.
It's like a little, hey Easter's coming up, a little Easter egg.
Yeah, there you go. A little Easter egg hug for you.
Try and mix and match. that's what we figure.
If you guys are out there and you're watching an episode and like I say I'm wearing one
of my four t-shirts, my Pac-Man shirt, you can go and then try and find other segments
of the show where I'm wearing my Pac-Man shirt and put them together as a secret episode.
It's like the super secret recipes at your favorite fast food restaurant.
Yeah, the hidden menu.
If you could figure out the puzzle, then you win.
That's another contest we have right there.
Will Brian continue to be married to the beautiful Astrid after season number five?
Let's find out.
How many of Brianides children's 47 47
I have 49 49
Now
oxing off the commercial break
When I started $25,000
Do I have $25,000?
No, no, no $25,000
Going once, going twice, going three times
$15,000 It's the only auction where it goes down $15,000 Do I have $15,000 no no no $25,000 going once going twice going three times $15,000. It's the only auction where it goes down
$12,000
We don't have $12,000 look at this beautiful studio look at these beautiful people laughing all the time for listeners
Let's go down to $10,000
$10,000. I hear $10,000.
Do I hear zero dollars,
but you must take out all the commercial break debt.
$700,000.
Let's go to $700,000.
Going once, going twice, going right back to Brian.
Nobody was taking that one.
No, who would?
Who would?
I was talking to a friend the other day and he's like,
I was just shooting this shit about business in general.
And he's like, oh yeah, you should leverage
the commercial break, go out there and get a business loan.
I'm like, a business loan?
What business am I in?
Business of making no money.
I don't think they generally take bets on that.
I'm just saying.
I don't know.
Neil Brennan has a great bet.
Here's all of our wires.
What will you give us for that?
Here's two broken microphones, a shitty Rodecaster.
I mean, Rodecaster's great, but it's old.
It's been here for a while.
And three computers that are full.
Can't put anything else on them.
A guest system that only works half the time.
Oh, Neil Brennan has a great bit about it.
And I won't do his joke.
You'll have to go watch it.
But he, on blocks, I think he does this joke about,
like, you know, I realized that student loans
were just a business loan, and the business was me.
Imagine I went into the bank and said,
here's a business idea.
I'm gonna spend the next year getting blackout drunk,
and I'll get a sociology degree.
You'd be laughed out of the bank. That's of the bank. But then as I'm walking out
of the bank, I'll go, hey, it's your loss. I had a great way to pay you back. I was going
to pay you $50 for the next 240 years.
It's so true.
It is so true. Oh, funny, funny guy. He's the funny guy. Shea Larkin He is. Pete Slauson Listen, Pete Rose, like, to wrap this up,
Pete Rose got banned for the exact same thing. And I believe if baseball was to do the right
thing and they find out through their investigation that Sohani had anything to do with it, there
needs to be some kind of repercussions. Because now I'm reading that they're doing, like,
the NCAA is investigating some basketball players, college basketball players for betting on their own fucking games.
And I'm not going to say the name of the college because it's just an
investigation, but man, I'll tell you what,
this isn't the first betting scandal that has rocked college basketball or
basketball in general. It's too easy to manipulate. Let's say the over,
the under is a hundred points on the count.
How do they even keep track of that? I'm just being curious here, but you know, say I'm a player
and I mean, I am a player, but.
You are a player, no doubt, player.
Play on player.
You got that TCB swagger.
Who hot, who not?
Who hot, who not?
Chrissy Holy on the block.
Who ha, who not? Who ha, who not?
Cause he holy on the block.
So, say I'm a sports player,
and how would you be able to track if I was betting on?
Well, now some of the colleges actually are monitoring
traffic to and from the betting sites, I believe,
is how they're getting there, based on that.
What about like a burner phone or a...
Yeah, I mean, listen, but not every person is smart, right?
But then also, you know, I think that it is a responsibility of the responsibility and
probably in conjunction with some of these platforms, if they see something suspicious,
if they see something, they say something because they need to get out in front of it
too.
Like it's not going to do them any good if one of these websites, which I won't mention
because some of them do sponsor the show.
And to make clear, I'm not like morally objecting to gambling.
I don't think it's a bad thing in and of itself.
Go ahead, have a little fun, you know, play the slots, play the roulette, do the gambling
on the game.
But when you're in the game and you can control the outcome, that's where things start to
get a little fussy.
So I do believe that it's in the best interest of these platforms to alert
people when they see something that may be suspicious, like gambling going on
from an IP address right on the basketball court, you know what I'm saying?
Right.
Like that kind of stuff.
Like, oh.
What about if it's you and me, I'm going out and I'm playing basketball, but I'm
telling you what to bet.
That-
We're in cahoots.
That has happened many times. Yeah, had to have. Had to have. Like back in, I can't remember when this was, but was it telling you what to bet. That. We're in cahoots. That has happened many times.
Yeah, had to have.
Had to have.
Like back in, I can't remember when this was, but it was it back, I don't
want to think it's back in the late eighties, there was a college basketball
player who got busted for this exact same thing.
He was manufacturing.
He, some nights he would score 20 points and some nights he would score, you
know, 28 points because he was playing the over-under.
So he couldn't necessarily control the whole outcome of the game most of the
times. But what he could control sometimes was the over under.
If he missed that basket in the last minute of the game,
they still might win the game, but it might be the under, right?
And then he would have people betting big amounts of money on this.
And if I'm not mistaken,
I think that was also tied up with like the mafioso and stuff like that.
Like there were some people that were helping him pull the
strings. But, you know, listen, it's tempting. I understand it. It is tempting. Like if I'm not
losing the game on purpose, but I'm just like missing a shot on purpose, like those kids are so
susceptible. They're so vulnerable to that kind of pressure, right? It's got to be.
And that's why I agree with college professional, professional college athletes being allowed
to get professional sponsorship contracts.
I think it's the right thing to do.
If all of these colleges are making billions of dollars a year in revenue on the backs
of these college kids who get zero of that money except for the scholarship dollars.
This has been a problem since day one with the NCAA because you have these boosters and people around the organization,
maybe not the coach directly himself, but people who are clearly, you know, unofficially part of the organization,
you know, alumni, and they give these kids all kind of perks. They pay for their parents to come and live in a nice apartment.
They give them a car to drive around.
They give them some cash, some spending cash.
I'll buy you these new shoes.
It's very tempting because the kids, even though they get this scholarship, they still
have to pay to live.
Their parents have to pay to live.
They have some people like I did at 18 years old, have nothing to their name and no way
of generating income. And oh, by the way, spend 50
hours a week on basketball, baseball, football, whatever it is, and then spend another 30 hours
a week on your studies. So you got 80 hours dedicated to the university. You have to show up at
every photo opportunity. You have to make everybody look good while you're on national television,
you know, all this stuff, but I don't get to see one dime of it.
Seems like it was a silly idea way in the first place.
And now that that's loosening up,
I think it can only be a good thing,
though there will be bumps and bruises.
I think that it can only be a good thing,
because if you're that talented
and you're spending all of your time, energy and resources
on carrying the flag of that particular college, school, you should be able, if the college is
making a billion dollars on your back, you should at least get 10%. Like this just seems fair to me,
right? I think so. So now you're starting to see some college athletes that are getting some of
these deals. And I think, God bless, God bless. I think it's a great thing. I really do. It's
it's the way that it should be, The way that it should have always been.
Betting on sports, different animal altogether. You shouldn't be able to bet on...
I think generally, if you're a college kid, you just generally shouldn't be...
Like a college athlete at a high level, you just shouldn't be able to bet.
Like, okay, no betting on any sports. Just four years. Just give us four years.
I mean, I remember when I was in college too, there would be just rows and lines
and lines of credit card companies.
Oh yeah, handing out credit cards, $10,000, $5,000.
Oh my God, in my first couple of years in college,
I got in such debt, because I was just like,
yeah, free money, yeah, I'll pay you back later,
blah, blah, blah, blah, and all of a sudden it's like, what?
It's crazy, they get you and they got you in their grips
and now you can't get out.
And you know, betting is the same way in a lot of cases.
Some platforms will give you a little running room, right?
Or they'll give you a little credit or whatever it is.
And then you just get started and you can't go that way.
And I think if they're really smart, the professional sports organizations should get together and
they should make their own betting platform specifically for the athletes nobody else allowed.
If you're playing professional sports in one of these leagues,
the NBA, the NFL, the NHL.
I think so, the PGA, whatever it is,
you have to, if you're gonna bet,
you have to bet through this platform
so that we can monitor what you're betting.
And by the way, you're not allowed to bet
on the sport that you play.
Right?
And if they did that,
then I think they would alleviate some of the temptation to do that.
I like that little idea.
I do.
That's a billion dollar idea that I just gave away.
Thanks, Brian.
Don't air this episode.
I'm just making a note to myself.
Don't beep.
Yeah.
Just don't.
When you want to go and you want to talk about that idea that you had,
just shut your mouth, okay?
That's all you got to do
because you're literally a dog hole
that gives all the good ideas away for free
and then does all the bad ideas for money,
where you pay.
I do think that that's an idea that solves some of that.
But of course, then you got the famous betters
like Phil Mickelson, who was in millions
and millions of dollars.
Yeah, that came out a while back,
and I had no idea years ago
that he was that big of a gambler.
Was it KMPG or Barclays came?
Supposedly, according to people who have written books,
Barclays, who I think sponsored him for a while,
I think it's Barclays, or Deutsche Bank, one of those.
And one of the banks came in and made a sponsorship deal
with him and got him out of a lot of betting debt
according to those sources.
And Phil will admit it, say it himself.
I love to bet and I had a betting problem for a long time,
but I've got it under control.
Now he's just working for the sound.
I was gonna say, that's why he went there.
Such a disappointing end to such a fucking storied career.
And now he was my favorite.
I know. And listen, I just-
And his wife had breast cancer and his mom had something too, and he seemed like such a supportive,
and maybe he is, and maybe he was supportive husband and son and father, but he's got some
quirks that have come out later years. He's got some quirks. He's got a little edge that I didn't think he had. I mean, I don't
know him. Like I only know him in press conferences and on the, he was one of the most exciting
golfers to watch. Chrissy and I watched him win the Masters. And I'm telling you what,
that could not have, I think that was my favorite sporting event to watch
of all times, watching Phil Mickelson swing around a tree and hit the 13th green. I mean,
just like I remember these moments because he was so exciting. He never, he is a better,
he's a gambler. He always takes risks on the golf course and 90% of the time they fail
miserably, but the 10% of the time that they work,
man, is it spectacular. Yeah, and it was like he and Tiger back, you know. Yeah, going back and
forth. Yep. And now you got Tigers all wrapped up in his twinkle twinkle pussy. And then you got
fucking, Mickelson's over there playing for the Saudi Arabians where no one will ever hear from
him again because that product is shit. I'm sorry, but it's shit. And, you know, they're trying to merge, I guess. But, you know, I've watched it. They're
on fucking UPN or the WB or whatever that, that golf, and there is nobody there to watch
it and there is no one on television that's watching it. It is honestly, it's professional
golf with some of the best players in the world, but only a few of the best players
in the world. And then a lot of the best players in the world.
And then a lot of like novelty acts.
And so it just doesn't feel like the best product in the world.
I'm not saying they can't get it together.
It's not played the same, right?
They have teams and you score points and like the teams have a season long
competition. I don't know. It's confusing.
And I don't like to watch it because the truth is I just like to watch every
Saturday and Sunday and see who wins. Like, okay,
we're the best golfers this week, right? That's interesting to me. And if the PGA doesn't figure out how to mend
these fences, there's going to be trouble because the Saudi Arabians have more money
than God and they can just keep paying people hundreds of millions of dollars to come work
for them, essentially. And I can understand the temptation, certainly, but it's disappointing because, you know,
as a fan, because first, Phil's not playing in the regular tournaments, which I want to
see him play in, although he will play in the Masters this year, I think is what I've
heard.
Oh, that's right.
There's like the Masters exception.
What is that?
That's coming up.
It's an invitational.
It's coming up next week, actually.
That is an invitational, so he gets invited to it because he's a past winner, right?
But then to watch him just like be, you know, toting around these, you know, kind of shitty
golf tournaments, it's like, oh man, so disappointing.
I wish Phil would just, wish he just had, did they make enough money?
Isn't there enough?
Is there enough?
Is there a point where it's enough?
I mean, I don't know what kind of gambling debts we're talking about.
Oh, that's true. I didn't think about that either. But you know, he's got those sponsorships.
He's always in my face about the eczema and the psoriasis. As a guy who has family members
with psoriasis, I actually, I thought, oh, oh, Phil, that's a trustworthy name and face.
And now I'm like, watch it, watch it. He's in bed with the Saudi Arabians. I don't know
about that eczema cream. You might want to put that down. All right. Well, we'll stop talking about sports betting.
But first we want you to listen to some sponsors. We'll be back.
What? Oh, hi. It's Christina again, here to remind you to go to tcbpodcast.com for all
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And guess what?
We have a new phone number.
I know what you're thinking,
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Oh, and check out our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash the commercial break. That's all for
now. Let's listen to our sponsors night, I see this commercial.
Cascade, you know the dishwasher stuff, right?
So the cascade says-
The one that has three or four different choices for what I think is all about the same.
It's all the same.
It's all the same.
But you go for the higher one.
Of course you do. Because you're like, well, I want them clean.
Yeah, $14.99 or $13.99.
I know.
If I get $13, if I get $14.99, I get them in little packets.
I get 17 ounces less, but it's more expensive.
It clearly must be better.
Right, right.
It's such delusional thinking.
I know, it's like, it's a whole mind.
I go to Sam's and I go and I'm looking at lotion,
like body lotion, right?
More body lotion for Brian.
So more body lotion for Brian.
And I'm looking and I see this one brand
that I like to use and it's got one big tub of lotion,
right?
Enough whacking off the last of your lifetime.
So it's got this one big lotion thing and it's,
I don't know, let's just say big round numbers.
It's 10 fluid ounces, right, for $15.
And then I look next to it and it's got two smaller tubs in a package.
Oh, neatly packaged.
15 ounce fluid ounces for $13.
And I'm like, why is this $2 less and there's five ounces more?
I don't understand.
And there's more packaging and there's more plastic more. I don't understand, and there's more packaging and there's more plastic.
Like, I don't understand how this is going.
I must have stood there for 10 goddamn minutes
reading the labels in the back, that's the ingredients,
to see if they had the same thing.
And I'll be damned, it's the exact same ingredients
on both of them.
So I'm like, clearly, I'm just, they're just,
I'm getting hoodwinked here.
Pick the one that's less expensive.
Yeah, it's psychology that goes into all of that.
So my little mouse brain decides to pick the smaller one.
Your willy brain.
To pick the one with more fluid ounces, my willy brain.
That's right.
One of our listeners, Kayden, says, why is everything that Brian names have to do with
a dick?
I don't know.
I honestly don't.
It just turned out that way.
Maybe I'm repressed or something.
I don't know.
So I'm going to pick the one with more ounces for less money.
So I get it, I come home, we also put it on our children,
you know, they have some dry patches and stuff like that.
And so I come home and I go, hey, babe, get this.
This is five more fluid ounces for less.
And she goes, it's not the same thing.
And I go, yes, it is the exact same thing.
I read the ingredients.
She goes, it's not the same thing.
It's thinner, it's waterier, has more water in it. It's not the same type of lotion that we usually use here at the ingredients. She goes, it's not the same thing. It's thinner, it's waterier, has more water in it.
It's not the same type of lotion that we usually use here at the house.
And I'm like, but babe, it's the same exact thing.
It's got the same label.
It's the same name.
It's got the same ingredients.
It's got five more fluid ounces for $2 less.
And she is like, it's not, but it's okay.
We'll live with it.
It's lotion.
We'll fucking deal with it.
And I'm like, she's goddamn wrong about this motherfucker.
Well, I go into the bathroom two nights ago,
after I bought it.
I go in the bathroom two nights ago,
I squeeze it out of the bottle.
I'll be goddamn if it ain't just fucking water pouring out of there.
I mean, water with a little bit of lotion.
So the same ingredients, but more water.
More water, because the first ingredient is water.
As water.
And then, so you don't know exactly how much they put in there.
That's percentage.
Once again, Astrid is right about everything,
and Brian has a mouse brain. So I'm watching this Cascade commercial and I hear this alarming
statistic and I want to know exactly who is doing this research. It says, we at Cascade know that
the average American spends over 200 hours a year pre-washing dishes. And I was like, 200 hours a year?
I did the math, it's 32.6 minutes a day
you are spending pre-washing dishes
to then put inside of a dishwasher?
Could that possibly be true?
Do you spend 32 minutes pre-washing dishes?
No, but I guess throughout the day, it depends on what they're calling pre-wash.
Okay.
I mean, because is that just a splash of getting something off or is something stuck on there?
The devil's in the details.
And you've got it, yeah.
So maybe-
I want to see this study.
Cascade, I challenge you to release this study.
It depends on how many people are in your family too, how many dishes you have to do.
Yeah. If you're like me, maybe 32 minutes isn't an unreasonable amount of time to spend this study. It depends on how many people are in your family too, how many dishes you have to do. Yeah, if you're like me,
maybe 32 minutes isn't an unreasonable amount of time
to spend on dishes.
Listen, I will tell you that by the end of the day,
you have to clear our sink four to five times a day.
There's two dish washes going on at least a day.
And I'm the one who always goes at night
and I'm the last guy in the house
checking the security functions
and all the man stuff you gotta do.
And so I'm always the one who turns on the dishwasher
at night, but that's usually the second load,
possibly the third load,
because you just go through dishes so quick
when you have so many fucking rugrats running around
and blue, it gets everything else dirty.
But 200 hours a year seems like an immense amount of time.
That's almost 10 days.
It's nine days worth of nine, eight days worth
of just pre-washing.
So then they say, you know, cascade allows for, you know,
you don't have to worry about pre-washing your dishes.
They say that.
They say that, but it's not true.
It says the average dishwasher can clean this stuff off
with cascade's help, you'll be fresh and clean in no time.
But I go and
I eat a greasy burger or some mac and cheese and it gets stuck in the sink for a couple
of hours. That shit ain't coming off. I don't care. You put fucking truck degreaser in there
and it's not going to come off. You have to pre-wash. Am I just stuck in a time and a
mentality back in the-
Maybe. Let's do an experiment.
In the 90s when like-
Maybe I'll do it at my house so we're not endangering your 30 kids. in a mentality back in the 90s when like dishwashers were good.
Maybe I'll do it at my house so we're not endangering your 30 kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't want to have any, I don't need any more illnesses.
We've been through a string here at the commercial break.
I know.
Terrible life and health events.
We don't need any more.
But I'm really wondering, do we-
I want to try it.
Do it.
Leave the dishes in the sink for the whole day.
Do it at night.
And I know it's going to be tough, but do it at night. Load them up, leave them there, wash them with just whatever soap you use,
wash them and see if they really come out clean or if this is just a bunch of bullshit.
You mean put them in the dishwasher?
Put them in the dishwasher and see if they come out clean.
I'm going to try this.
I am a pre-washer. I believe in pre-washing. I think you should pre-wash. I think it's important.
I understand it's wasting water, but how else am I going to get them clean
if I don't put them in clean?
Well, and if you have to wash them twice because it didn't come off the first time.
I know. My head stuck in, you know, time traveling back 300 years when I was born and the dishwashers
were first coming out in the market. My head tells me you have to put the dishes in the
dishwasher clean already to then get additionally dishes in the dishwasher clean already to
then get additionally clean in the dishwasher. Am I right about this?
At least rinse.
At least rinse. I prefer to just clean all together. I'll take soap and I'll clean it.
And I do realize this is a dumb line of thinking.
I don't do the soap part.
You don't?
No.
Oh, well, you're just nasty. I'm not even at your house anymore.
I'm put into the dishwasher where, by the way, there are you're just nasty. I'm not even at your house anymore. I'm puttin' it into the dishwasher where,
by the way, there are five different options too.
Night wash. True, pop scrubber,
quick wash, normal, extra. Normal,
sani rinse. Extra sani rinse.
Pro. What the fuck is that?
Pro. I mean, I always do pro
because I'm like, well, I want the best.
That's just a bunch of- I want them clean.
And what's the difference?
I read through the manual.
I don't see the difference.
And it seems like as you're taking a risk,
the light wash.
Yes, exactly.
That's like going to the Mercedes dealership
and the guy goes, well, you're gonna have a C-Class
with nothing, no sunroof, no tint,
windows don't even go down.
We're like, you're lucky you have a steering wheel in there.
$50,000.
Or you can have this brand new G-Wagon
with all of the functions, same price, right? And you go, yeah, I'll take the G-Wagon with all of the functions, same price, right?
Yeah, I know.
And you go, yeah, I'll take the G-Wagon every day of the week.
So when I look at the dishwasher and it says pro or sani rinse, which to me sounds like
I don't...
Sanitize.
It's like a spritz, like we're just pissing on your fucking dishes.
Your dishwasher just pisses on your dishes and that's it, right?
I'm going for the pro every time,
every time. And then I do this whole dance where I have to put it on a three hour delay so I can
take my shower without being bothered. You use the delay.
I do use the delay. I might be the only human being on earth.
I know, I don't use the delay. So that's good to know why you would use the delay.
I've never used the delay until I got this dishwasher over the last year, and it's got a
delay that actually works. My last dishwasher had a delay too. It this dishwasher over the last year, and it's got a delay that actually
works. My last dishwasher had a delay too. It was just naturally built in. It just would delay
washing them all together. Stupid piece of shit. Anyway, so now it's got this delay and I'm like,
oh, I don't like when the dishwasher or the washing machine is on while I'm taking a shower.
No one does because then it's hot and it's cold and it's hot and it's cold. You know, you can never figure it
out. You turn the crank in it real hot because you're like, God damn, the hot water went away.
And then as soon as the dishwasher stops spritz, you know, sanny pissing all over your fucking
dishes, then it's like, ah, your face is melting off. It's too much. I am so interested to learn,
It's too much. I am so interested to learn, first of all, can you really not wash your dishes with all
that food particles and just throw them in there and get them as clean as they normally are?
And number two, what is the difference between pro-wash and sandy rinse?
I'm going to do a deep dive this weekend.
Somebody knows.
I guarantee you somebody knows out there.
One of our trucker friends knows.
And I don't know how our trucker friends knows, but I just have a feeling they're smarter than the
average bear when it comes to this kind of stuff. And I know they're gonna answer
the question for me. So listen, we need this information. Inquiring minds want to
know. We have to know.
We do. We're gonna find out.
God damn it.
Alrighty, Rudy. Well, TCB bets. Soon to be a new app that we most certainly won't
create.
Let me put it in the note.
TCB bets. We should just call it TCB loses.
TCB bets.
TCB bets.
And loses.
TCB bets and losses. TCB bets and losses.
Because if we could make an app where only you and I could bet on the things on the show,
then that would probably keep us out of trouble too.
I should start betting on the commercial break.
I know we'll have arrived when people can bet on our show.
And you know that's coming, by the way.
That is definitely coming.
Maybe not for us, but for some podcast out there.
Rogan or Smart List or something.
All right, listen, we want you to be a part of the show.
We already have a few people that are going to come on the show, by the way, a few of
our listeners.
That's so exciting.
We're setting it up.
We're communicating currently about how and when to get them on, scheduling, all that
important stuff.
But we want you to be a part of the show.
Ask TCB, tell us a funny story.
You need our life advice.
We're here for you.
Consider us your podcast therapy. Ask TCB, tell us a funny story, you need our life advice, we're here for you.
Consider us your podcast therapy.
212-433-3TCB, that's 212-433-3822.
You can text us, let us know you want to be part of the show, give us a little, you know,
a quick little rundown of what you want to talk about so that we can make a decision
before texting you back.
You can also text comments, questions, concerns,
or content ideas to that phone number,
and we will respond.
It will be us.
Someone in the TCB ecosystem will respond to you.
And thank you to everybody who has been talking to us,
by the way.
A lot of people chat with us, Chrissy, a lot of people.
I love that.
They don't always say nice things, but you know,
it takes all kinds.
TCBpodcast.com, that's where you go.
You find out more information about the show, all the audio, all the video, right there
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We would love it, Chrissy.
Okay, I'm out of breath, I'm out of energy.
I think that's all I can do for right now.
I'm ready to go put our bed in.
But I'll tell you that I love you.
I love you.
I'll tell you that I love you. I love you. I'll tell you that I love you.
Best to you.
Best to you.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe.
Until next time, Chrissy and I always say,
we do say, and we must say,
goodbye.
I take a dick and keep on lickin'