The Commercial Break - You Know What I Mean?!

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

Bryan and Krissy go live on Fireside! Bryan tells Krissy his thoughts on the Fake Famous and Woodstock 99' movies, they discuss their chances of Instagram fame, they ponder the lives of the Woodstock ...patrons and talk about episode 100! Then, the gang reviews some footage from a YouTube movie about Carnies. The show is a circus as usual.  LINKS: Watch this episode on Youtube Sponsor FUM (Use Code TCB) Magic Spoon (Use Code TCB) MEMPHO Music Fest (Oct 1st-3rd 2021) Subscribe to The Commercial Break Podcast Youtube Channel New Episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays everywhere! Text or leave us a message: 1-(661)-BEST-2-YOU  |  661-(237-8296) FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak @bryangcomedy @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: @bryangreen @tcbkrissy ClubHouse: The Commercial Break Club on Clubhouse! (home of live recordings) Twitter: tcbbryan Facebook: The Commercial Break Podcast YouTube: Youtube.com/TheCommercialBreak Email: info@tcbpodcast.com A Chartable Top 100 Comedy Podcast #1 Trending Comedy Podcast Worldwide! (Chartable) #1 Trending Comedy Podcast U.S.(Chartable) An Apple Top 100 Comedy Podcast  Top 1% Downloaded Podcasts, Worldwide (ListenNotes) A Hot 50 Podcast (Podcast Magazine) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And welcome back to WSHIT, where we continue Saturday Night's speech or presentation, Karen, Private Detective. Let's pick up where we left off as Karen has discovered a local neighborhood man has packages from Amazon. Clearly, something nefarious must be going on. Fear not young rangers, Karen, private detective is on the beat. You're taking my property. Well, you know, there's been a lot of comings
Starting point is 00:00:33 and goings of UPS trucks in this neighborhood. What about the packages coming to this house, particularly, well, something's going on in there. So I'm just going on. So it's an Amazon. I'm taking the package. It's my Amazon wish list. I'm taking the package. No, you're not taking my package. It's going on in there. I'm just going to say Amazon. It's my Amazon wishlist. I'm taking the pack.
Starting point is 00:00:45 No, you're not taking my pack. Just move. Excuse me. Excuse me. Hey. Oh my god. You killed me. I did not kill you.
Starting point is 00:00:54 You're fine. Oh my god. Just an update on Karen's condition. She is not infected. We'll be back after this. Cover some work. on Karen's condition she is not infected. We'll be back after this. Cover some break. Hi, Brian.
Starting point is 00:01:12 It's on the select channel that the Latinos are listening to the commercial break. And we love you. Man, you! You know my heart is sad. On this episode of the Commercial Break, a guy who owns a company who manages influencers documents the process of making them fake famous. How does he do that? Well it's very simple, quite frankly.
Starting point is 00:01:40 He buys them followers, he buys them engagement, and he buys them lights. So the extra- it's unbelievable. Well, it's- one simple enough. It sounds simple enough. Money, you get the money. Here's the crazy part. It fucking works. It works. Good luck to you. If you know what I mean.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Yeah, if you know what I mean. Anybody who says, if you know what I mean after they're saying it, you clearly don't understand what they're saying. Do you know what I mean after they're saying it, you clearly don't understand what they're saying. Do you know what I mean? He didn't want people to come in because, do you know what I mean? Are you understanding what I'm saying? I say this after a little.
Starting point is 00:02:14 I got into it. This one does even use art. Yeah, how did you feel about that last sentence? It's still on the review of my head. I'm wondering how it played out in New York. I said, I'll tell you what I'll start you up on the Teddy Bear. But it's a build up game. The more shots you get, the bigger your pride.
Starting point is 00:02:31 All right? I'll tell you what, spin the fire. I'll tell you what, spin the fire once what I do for you, the guy. I have no money in my wallet. You have no money in your wallet. I'm not joking. Big guy.
Starting point is 00:02:40 That was just bad, bad. Where's your friend at? Maybe you can help me out. I was with friends before. I was like, like some weak viewers. I used to deal with it. That was just bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad of the commercial break starts now. Oh, is that the episode of the first break? Yeah, whoops! We're here, we're here. We made it.
Starting point is 00:03:12 We've made it, we did it. We're on episode whatever, no one cares. We're on FireSider. We're on FireSider. We're on FireSider Live on FireSider today, actually. And welcome aboard, welcome aboard all the FireSiders. Listening to the commercial break, being recorded live. You two can join in by downloading the fireside chat app We're gonna be going live for our hundredth episode and we'd like you to be included make sure you
Starting point is 00:03:33 Write in your brain give yourself a little message write it down on a sticky note You know like people write mantras on their on their mirrors. Yes Once you to write your favorite segment from the commercial break and then I want you to write the transcript of it It'll say like best to you You know write it down whatever is Henry fond at whatever your favorite Preacher Shamelin Ding Dong Whatever your favorite episode is let us know because we're gonna be asking on the hundreds episode And I'm gonna drop in some of those clips because you hate hate hate hate the best of shows
Starting point is 00:04:03 I'm gonna do it a little bit differently. I'm gonna just still try and sneak in a best of but I'm gonna do it differently with fresh content twiled in twiled in Twiled but the twiled Twine spend a twiled since I saw you It's been a twiled since we hung out hasn't it? Twads twads twads the twiled before Christmas I'm gonna I'm gonna intertwine a little bit of that stuff in there and then you can go so download the fireside chat app.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Go to www.tcbpodcast.com. You can find out more about Chrissy and I. Read all the show notes, listen all the audio and watch all the video all from one place. YouTube.com slash the commercial break is where you watch all of the videos and to be entered into our next contest to win a grand prize All you have to do is go to episode number 85 and watch the videos all the way through
Starting point is 00:04:51 You'll get some Easter eggs some clues are embedded in there right down those clues You when I ask the question you'll know the answer and that you'll send to us and we'll be entered into the next Gold dot gift card gift Gold dot gift card giveaway Myif gif gif card giveaway my brain's working faster than my mouth is you ever have that experience yeah this is me a lot people are like you talk fast running run and run and run and run my mouth can't keep up with my brain and Instagram at the commercial break please do follow us for content you cannot
Starting point is 00:05:19 get anywhere else I watched an interesting movie the other day with my with Astrid called fake famous. Have you seen fake famous? Famous. Is that about the influencers? Yes, it's about the influencers. So it's a basic social experiment and here's how it goes. And it's then it's documented. Here's how it goes. Three relatively obscure people on Instagram who wish to be influencers but are not influencers. They have less than five thousand followers, but are not influencers. They have less than 5,000 followers.
Starting point is 00:05:45 They're aspiring influencers. A guy who owns a company who manages influencers, documents the process of making them fake famous. How does he do that? Well, it's very simple, quite frankly. He buys them followers, he buys buys them engagement and he buys them likes so the expert it's unbelievable well it's simple enough it sounds simple enough money just if you get the money here's the crazy part it fucking works it works so two of the guys drop
Starting point is 00:06:19 out one of the guys is from here in Atlanta he's's a gay guy, and he gets upset because he starts getting trolled by his old gay friends here in Atlanta saying, you know, like, you know, a girl, you didn't get those 40,000 followers overnight. We know that you're something's up, but he can't say anything because he's part of the social experiment and he has agreed not to say anything until it's over. He gets so upset by the trolls and by the fact that everyone starts calling him fake, we're not everyone, but a couple people that he bows out quickly in the experiment. The other guy says, I would rather have
Starting point is 00:06:52 a hundred real followers than 10,000 fake ones. I just don't feel good about this. And he starts deleting the followers, the fake followers. The third girl becomes famous. She actually becomes famous. She starts making money on her Instagram and she becomes an actual influencer even though I'm a jewel. It's kind of like kindling to a fire. Kind of. Yeah. I'm like, if you start the little kindling and then the smoke and
Starting point is 00:07:16 yeah, if they're, if you build it, they will come. It's just real. She got real ones. She got real followers because of the fake followers. A lot of other people that she was an actual influence. Right, right. This to me, so I'm watching this and I'm just like. Everything's an illusion. It all is an illusion. And the companies like Instagram, Facebook, YouTube,
Starting point is 00:07:39 they have absolutely zero incentive to stop this from happening. Why? Because they are making billions and billions of dollars selling advertisement and stock to people who look for engagement and follower numbers. They're everyone's happy. The shareholders who are essentially making these guys billionaires are like, cool,
Starting point is 00:08:01 we don't give a shit, right? Well, and if it's good content though, I mean, then the real followers kind of, or like, oh, this is good. Yes, I mean, yes, but it is an illusion because of what they point out is, when as they're making these people famous, they put them on photo shoots and stuff like this,
Starting point is 00:08:18 they set up these photo shoots to appear as if they're in these wonderful locations, doing these wonderful things with all fake, all of it is fake. They'll be in like someone's, some guys backyard in the suburbs, and they'll say they're at, you know, chateau marmont in fucking Italy, it's not true,
Starting point is 00:08:34 but no one bothers to check. It doesn't really fucking matter. The brands who are buying the advertisements can't tell the difference anyway by some estimation. So there's a guy. So you're telling me we should buy followers. I was like, I was like, I was like, this is fucking crazy. We are playing a game we can never win. We are just sitting here.
Starting point is 00:08:54 We've gotten five or organic growth. Fuck that shit. Why? Who cares about real followers? If we got 500 real followers in just a couple of months, right? Now that's nothing, it's nothing. It's our account on Instagram is shit. We have hundreds of thousands of people listening
Starting point is 00:09:12 to the podcast, no one gives a shit about our Instagram. No. And as try as we might, we cannot get these people to convert to that thing, right? So I'm like, if we're playing this game that, and everybody else is playing a different game, we're not even playing by the same set of rules. Like, how would we ever get real?
Starting point is 00:09:30 There are no real Instagram users. They're all just fake. Some guy got on there, and he's like a power broker to the stars for organic, quote unquote, organic followers. And he says, I have bought some of the top 10 most famous Instagram stars in the world 50 to 60% of their traffic 50 to 60% of their traffic. And while they don't name them, they are showing pictures of Kylie of the Kylie Jenner and Kim Kardashian the entire
Starting point is 00:10:01 time. So you can all say I'm assuming without saying it, they're making the connection. So at the commercial break on Instagram, if you want to follow us, that's the best. If you follow us now, we'll walk you as organic. If you follow us today, before we have 40,000 followers tonight.
Starting point is 00:10:19 Fake. Yes. I mean, why not? Why wouldn't we do that? It's just so crazy. And I do have to say, I do have to mention this before we get into the mean potatoes at the show that I did watch the, as per your instruction,
Starting point is 00:10:33 I watched the Levis stock 99. Oh, I thought you were saying the Levis blind reunion. I haven't gotten to that yet. Okay. I'm so far behind on my TV watching and so busy. Before you watch that show, then I got into it. No, you're not gonna watch the follow up.
Starting point is 00:10:44 No, I just wanna watch the new season. It's not worth it actually. Yeah, no, it's not. It you're not gonna watch the follow up. No, I just want to watch the new season. It's not worth it actually. No, it's not. It's all crap. All those follow up shows are crap. Except for 90s A fiance, you two have some good follow up shows on them because they start fighting.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Don't get me started on that. Yeah, okay, they got a good one on right now. I did watch the Woodstock 99 documentary. I do remember watching almost all of that on MTV. I worked at a Chili's at the time as a bartender. So chilease. While everyone else was scroutserven and, you know, Unica Unork and New York, I was actually not Unica.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Unica. Unica. Unica. Unica. I thought I was in the car. Well, I don't think it's any of the car either. I'm just making it up. Whatever it was.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Well, it's somewhere in New York. Oh, Rome, New York just making it up. Whatever it was. Well, it's somewhere new. Oh, Rome, New York, I think is actually where it was. Yeah, I think it was the Air Force base. Air Force base, that's right. That Rome in Rome. It looked absolutely miserable. Miserable. Miserable.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Miserable. And I'm not hearing about it because this was happened in 99. That's when I was starting to take off and go see why it's for panic. That's when your why it's for panic career was taking off. Yeah, it was. And I was like, you know, in college.
Starting point is 00:11:47 And you were like, well, should I stop by and see range against the machine? No, I went out west. Yeah, good. You should've, yeah, I went away from it. And I remember hearing about what a mess it was. We watched it all. We had the TV's behind the bars.
Starting point is 00:12:02 We had an MTV. We were on live playing. And TV. Yeah, it was fucking insane. I mean, it looks horrible. The way that MTV women were being just, you know, completely mauled. Listen, it was an absolute shit show. It was the worst of humanity coming out.
Starting point is 00:12:20 It's just like, it shows you that shit. It's like 99.9% white. Well, I want to say this. Okay, besides whatever color or race or create or religion or whatever those people work, shit rolls downhill. When the two guys at the top don't give a shit how you feel your comfort, what's your paying your care or anything like that when they don't give a shit what you're paying, your care or anything like that, when they don't give a shit, and then the conditions just absolutely fucking suck. There wasn't a literal fire, dumpster fire at the end.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Yeah, but what I'm saying is, is like the two guys who put this on, they never took into account anybody's care, anybody's consideration. No, there's no money grab. They had 10,000 people watching over 700,000 people. Yeah, and did you see the security quote on, I'm doing air quotes. 1000 people watching over 700,000 people. Yeah, and did you see the security quote, I'm doing air quotes.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Security. It was there. The one guy that was on this that was given a recount of it said, yeah, we went into a classroom and they gave us all the answers and then said, now you're security. Yeah, a little less on security, please. It's secure.
Starting point is 00:13:24 I don't even, watch the documentary. It's absolutely fascinating. And appalling. Then let's take into account that yes, it is a mostly white crowd, white young males, and they decimate the females that are in this crowd. They absolutely tear them apart. They are groping them, grabbing them, disrobing them, raping them in some cases. It is like the worst of humanity right there on display.
Starting point is 00:13:51 And I wonder where these people are now. Like where are these guys who in their early the mid-20s were just like basically angry. Angry and they were so angry. I mean, I don't even care if like they're like just raping women Just tearing them apart and kids died. Remember the kid that was a kid died Metallica, yeah, yeah, all you all he wanted to do is be in the Moshpit, Metallica, and he died But yeah, they did do it all for the nookie and then the Fred Dursh, of course, didn't help
Starting point is 00:14:23 They're telling them to settle down and he's like, I'm fucked that. Yeah. I'm giving some of that bullshit bullshit. Who's a fuck-up bullshit? Who the fuck? Some worst music ever. What do they call that?
Starting point is 00:14:36 The New Rake, New Rocker. What do they call that? New shit. New shit? No, they had a word for it. Something rock-rapper, whatever they were calling it, like to identify these basically like six bands who sucked.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Kid Rob, the friend dares. Just give me some of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they've broke down too. There was like the water fountains. And then the people like busted the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Yeah, I mean, they didn't do it. They didn't do themselves any favors. They busted the pipes open with the porta potty. They busted the pipes open. And people thought it was mine. They thought it was mine. They thought it was mine. It was shit.
Starting point is 00:15:18 It was shit. People were just sliding around and shit. Hey, listen, you know, when you're 20 and you're young, you can just slide around and shit, get away with it. Now, I'm like, if it doesn't have air fucking conditioning and room service, I'm not a part of it. I don't want to be a part of it. I'm going to Menfo.
Starting point is 00:15:36 I need a shower. Yeah. A real shower in a bathroom. I'm going to Menfo under duress. That's all I got to say. There's no camping in Menfo. Oh, thank God. Yeah. Thank God. I'm going to Menfo under duress. That's all I gotta say. That was no camping at Menfo. Oh, thank God.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Yeah, thank God. If I see one part of potty out of order there, I'm out, I'm seeing you later. No, they took it. We used to go to those parties in the woods, you know, on the fourth of July and September, we'd go to these huge, you know, parties in the woods. That's all I can say about it, technically.
Starting point is 00:15:59 But he's going to these huge part, I can't believe I would do that. Yeah, I signed an NDA. I signed, you know what was the NDA? All the drugs that I took. That was the NDA. I guarantee I will not remember any of this. They were like, you are sworn to secrecy.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Not to tell anybody where or when you went to woo. And you're like, yeah, whatever, dude. I'm in. Yeah, I'm in. Cool. To the woods and to lie. Yeah, late July sweet. And I'm bringing in higher trailer full of Bud Light with me. Yes, I can. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Don't worry. I won't. Mom is the word. Hey, where have they been for the last four days? This all got me thinking about Woodstock 99 got all got me thinking Hey, where have they been for the last four days? This all got me thinking about Woodstock 99, got all got me thinking about my love for the following subject matter, Carnies, people who travel on the road.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Rody's, Carnies, people who... They've got a Vagabond lifestyle. They've got a Vagabond lifestyle. They are, and one of my brothers is kind of like this. He works on the movie sets, but he's like, you know, like these manual labor, these guys and girls who are out there, and they just kind of like travel the country back and forth, and they're doing their thing,
Starting point is 00:17:15 right, and they live in conditions we probably wouldn't choose to live in, and they're doing work that we would probably not choose to do, but you know, they're working. Kim, he does that. She runs around. She's a carny? No.
Starting point is 00:17:28 She's not a carny, but she works in the movie business too. Yeah, yeah, she does. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. And, you know what? She's a carny. Is she a carny? She's like a crown.
Starting point is 00:17:37 She's like a crown. Hi, I'm Kimi. I got her a magician. I got her a magician for one birthday. Oh, you got her a magician? The kind that strips? No. Okay. An a magician. I got her a magician for one birthday. Oh, you got her a magician? The kind that strips? No. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:48 An actual magician. For my younger brother's 21st birthday. I don't think I knew you back then, but my little brother's 21st birthday, I was renting a house with a guy and I said, can I have my brother's 21st birthday here? He says, yeah, of course. And so we invite about 200 people,
Starting point is 00:18:03 we get kegs and a bartender and a couple liquor looses. I mean, we are just like all out of this thing. Slip and slide, the whole nine yards, right? And I invited my dad and his girlfriend, who is his wife at the time, invited my dad. And his wife now. His wife now. Girlfriend of the time.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Girlfriend of the time. Girlfriend of the time. And they ended up like, I mean, these are the two of the straightest ladies, human beings you've ever seen in your life. They ended up doing the liquor loose. And then I told my dad, you gotta leave by midnight. Like midnight is the witching hour. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:32 The glass slipper comes off, dad. And I'm telling you what, it's gonna be a shit show. Because two strippers walked in. And I'm not talking about like the pretty kind of dainty little dancers. I'm talking like whips and shh, ain't got a dancer. And they came in and they put on the show
Starting point is 00:18:48 and my dad's, my dad and this girl from the time stood there the whole time and they were like, they got to use it. Yeah, you kind of get into it. This is great, don't you? I'm not flicker-loos. Yeah. So it got me thinking about carnies.
Starting point is 00:18:58 I've watched a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of footage about carnies. And I just wanted to pick a couple minutes and I wanted to go over it here on the commercial break as we talk about all things absurd and make it even more absurd. You ready? Hey everybody, I wanted to let you know
Starting point is 00:19:13 that this episode is sponsored in part by our brand new sponsors FUME. FUME, I wish FUME was around when I was trying to kick the habit a number of years ago. I smoked for so many damn years. It's not even funny. And when I was done, when I knew I was trying to kick the habit a number of years ago. I smoked for so many damn years. It's not even funny. And when I was done, when I knew I was done, I really tried very hard to quit,
Starting point is 00:19:32 but it took a very long time. I tried the patches, I tried the nicotine gum, I tried everything I wish fume was around. What is fume FUM? Let me explain. It is a handcrafted wooden inhaler. You stick a plant infused core. It's got some all-natural oils in that core into the inhaler and then you take a drag.
Starting point is 00:19:52 You take a pull off, but just as you would a cigarette or a vape, and you get almost the same sensation that you would when you were smoking a cigarette or you were vaping. It's quite freaky actually how close to the real deal this is. And it's all natural. So you don't have to worry about toxic chemicals or nicotine going into your body. There is absolutely no fun, no smoke, no water vapor, no incendiary device, nada. It doesn't fire at all. It is just air running through the core into your throat, down into your lungs. It gives you the same sensation, but with the benefits of all natural plant oils.
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Starting point is 00:21:19 TCB and make sure to use the code TCB. Tell them TCB sent you. Thanks Fume. and make sure to use the code TCB. Tell them TCB sent you. Thanks for you. Guess who loves them, some commercial break. Magic Spoon loves them, some commercial break. I'd like to welcome them back as a sponsor to TCB. I have never gotten more questions or feedback about a product or service than I have about Magic Spoon.
Starting point is 00:21:39 Why? Because I think everybody deep down is a little kid at heart and likes their cereal and they want to know Can it really be delicious if it's good for you? I want to give you a little story about five months ago before Magic Spoon came on as a sponsor my wife And I were trying to find a cereal that wasn't so sugary and fatty that we could have Well, she went to one of the name brand, you know organic stores bought some cereal. I don't know what it was called It was cardboard. That's what it was called. It was cardboard.
Starting point is 00:22:05 That's what it was called. It was called fucking cardboard. And it was disgusting and we took two bites of it and threw the entire box away. I know that's wasteful and we shouldn't have done it. We, I'm ashamed of myself. But that's the truth. Magic Spoon, however, is the exact opposite.
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Starting point is 00:23:26 You get a discount so go to magic spoon.com slash tcb and use the code tcb Thank you magic spoon for giving me a cereal. I can feel good about eating Yes, here we go. Let's learn let's take a day in the life of the carnies This is a carny life, which you can find on YouTube I don't think this is actually copy-right to do the WJ Perform, but. It's not on TLC. It's not on TLC.
Starting point is 00:23:49 You will not find this on an evil channel. The major force travel channel. Makes sense. Makes sense. Instead of it, we'd be on travel channel. Yeah, why a travel channel just has big foot shows and ghost hunters all day long, which makes absolutely no sense for the travel channel.
Starting point is 00:24:04 But I guess then TLC is no longer the learning channel also. The right for me who are the boss of the ride pretty much have their own trailers and that kind of stuff. They're talking about where they live, okay? So this is a trailer. Yeah, they're in their top trailers or underneath trailers. Oh. Yeah. So these are a couple of carnival guys, carnival workers that are showing you and talking to you about where they live when they're on the road.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Then the rest of the help live in bunkhouses. We have portable living quarters for them. The bunkhouses have been with us a long time. When I first started out, I was there too. But unlike most people, I took care of my area and made sure, you know, where I lived was clean. All I have on living quarters, I've fed television air conditioning and everything's nice and set up.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Now when you first come out here, if there's a lot of people that might not be room, but the owners never let you go hungry, you always have money in your butt. You're always going to have cotton candy or popcorn in your butt. You're always gonna have cotton candy or bump-corn in your disposal. Interesting. You wanna deep fried Kit Kat turkey leg? Don't worry about it, we got to do it. What's amazing to me is in what you can't see because we're listening, is the bunk houses are essentially tractor trailers
Starting point is 00:25:22 that have the hollowed out tractor trailers that have like 10 to 12 different bunks that are sitting in the middle. So they're kind of like, you know, I don't know, spread out amongst the tractor trailer. So they're air conditioning things. Air conditioning. Have you ever been to a carnival?
Starting point is 00:25:39 Have you ever been to a carnival? Yeah, there's no air conditioning. I don't even think, well, they'll talk about it here in a second, but we'll get to it. But this guy, he's got a little nice setup. He's got a DV and he likes it. He likes it.
Starting point is 00:25:51 Yeah, listen, better than jail. Yeah. Pocket, they always, if you have nowhere to stay, they'll put you in a tent, they'll put you somewhere. They'll put you somewhere. They'll put you somewhere. They'll put you somewhere. Everybody's always taking care of out here, basically.
Starting point is 00:26:03 We went from a house to a mansion. It's got an awning. I never had an awning. I always wanted it from before. This lady doesn't need much to be happy. Here's the thing. You know, it's all relative. It gives me a giggle, right? It gives me a giggle to see this
Starting point is 00:26:20 because it's just kind of funny. Like I feel satirically it's funny. But then I think about it. I'm like, this girl doesn't need much to be happy. She got a turning on her trailer and she thinks it's the best of funny like I feel satirically. It's funny But then I think about it. I'm like this girl doesn't need much to be happy She got a long on her trailer and she thinks it's the best shit in the world It's like a small roll so that you're going from here to there. Yeah, it seems good It's kind of like the commercial break, you know So people say you have no listeners and you shit sucks and we go yeah, but she said I sure should have heard our first episode
Starting point is 00:26:46 sucks and we go yeah but you said I should I hurt our first episode two is better than zero. Oh I got one TV antenna that really brings every station real layer. Every station with it three nautical miles I come in real clear. I have made advances in technology on the... They have? I get it right here on this TV. I have the Hills Channel. That's how he looks so good. I know, look at us. I have the Hills Channel, 24 hours a day.
Starting point is 00:27:14 The Hills. They made a channel about it. And it's on Air TV. Air TV. We got...we got a septic. On the other one, we didn't have that. We had a portable... We didn't have that we had a portal It's just shit just flew out the side of the chair. What didn't wait? Wow. Oh wait, maybe the vacuum it We always had to go lugging this I can just have someone drive up and
Starting point is 00:27:39 Suck it out shut up in the old days Shut up sparky. That's Hikey talking to blue. I don't know. Yeah. It's just like this in the image you can see, it's just this scraggly little dog. It kind of kicks it aside. She's like, shut up! I love it, I get 13 channels, someone comes,
Starting point is 00:27:58 sucks up the shit. Shut up Sparky! You did Nick! He used to live any place, you know, you know, go back 20 years, they live under the rise, any place they could. Where do you sleep? Under the rides.
Starting point is 00:28:11 Under the rides. Under the rides. I thought he was in under the rides. You know, like the ride. Under the rides. Under the rides. Yeah, so. Otherwise, how does that provide much?
Starting point is 00:28:22 It doesn't. It rejects it. It doesn't. But, it's actually. That's it. But now it's starting to all make sense. When I was a kid, I used to go in the fun house. I'm calling the fun house. I used to go in those fun houses.
Starting point is 00:28:33 That's where the God there were people underneath them. Making noises. That's them. He slept in trucks. You know, in the possum bellies of trucks. The possum bellie. Possum bellie of truck? The possum bellie of a truck? Oh. I didn't know there was a Possum Bellies of Trucks. Possum Belly. Possum Belly of Trucks? The Possum Belly of a truck?
Starting point is 00:28:47 Huh? I didn't know that it was a Possum Belly truck. I always feel like that. Nowadays, everybody has good living accommodations. And I like it was years ago. I slept in Trucks, slept on the ground, slept in a tent, keep myself out of the weather. He slept on the tent. He didn't sleep in the tent. He said he slept on the tent, keep myself out of the weather.
Starting point is 00:29:05 He slept on the tent. He didn't sleep in the tent. He said he slept on the tent. You know, this has got to be a really tough fucking life. Yeah. Can you imagine? I'm trying to browse that. But on the tent.
Starting point is 00:29:17 He slept on the tent. Like just as a ground covering or like up on top of the tent. It's better than sleeping under the Nitha ride, I suppose, underneath the fun house. Back, back when I started in 90, we didn't have what you call bunk houses. We had one bunk house. It had eight bunk houses.
Starting point is 00:29:36 We didn't have what you call bunk houses. We had what you call bunk house. I'm sorry, Jim, can you clarify it? No. What's the difference? Well one has an S on the end and the other one does not. One is plural and the other one is not plural. I before he except after C. Anybody that didn't stay clean,
Starting point is 00:29:56 we throw them in or close out. That's a good rule. Yeah that's a good rule. I wonder which is. That's hard to say. I wonder where the bar is. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:07 It's too much patchy, you gotta go. Yeah, stuff like that. Just like what I live. All right, there's like two men who have the guys living. I take $14 a week that covers their electric and everything or showers, you know, they got a shower. And this one counts, a shower, that one counts. This one counts, this one counts.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Speaking, $14 a week, that sounds like a deal actually. I'm in. It's a bargain in the century. Hey honey, back up the shit head, little dogs. And those two little chillers. We're on the road. We're going on the road. For $14 a week, we can live under the, whatever,
Starting point is 00:30:45 this Ferris wheel of love. A top of a ton. Yeah, who knows, you might fall in love with one of those roller coasters. No. That's where they take showers without water. The barca. That's where they take showers without water.
Starting point is 00:30:58 That's what he just said. That's where they take showers without water. Like a dry shower powder. Yeah, a dry shower, like a French horror shower. A powder? Yeah, like you powder yourself. You put on a little fresh di dry shower, like a French horror shower. A powder? Yeah, like you powder yourself. You put on a little fresh yoder and throw some patullion on your hemp necklace.
Starting point is 00:31:08 You're good to go. You're good to go. You smell wonderful. I was explaining in a previous episode that when I was a kid, I toured, I didn't tour. I went to a couple of shows with fish, but I had someone bought me a hemp necklace that I kept on my neck for like three years. It started to smell really bad. So when I would dance they would clear it fast for me. Here I thought I was the best dancer at the fish show.
Starting point is 00:31:34 I was like, look at me twirl. Look at my white boy boogie. I mean, while I was your smell. Yeah, meanwhile they're like, but Julie force fielded. Nothing can penetrate the but Julie force field. Is it a good way to get some room with a shower? That's right, yeah, just fart a lot. I'm not really sure.
Starting point is 00:31:57 It's kind of like a church. But no one sits close to you, it's probably you. Yeah. I know you look at that, like it's some kind of, it's what you make it. A guy don't care isn't gonna take care of it. But that's not just the bunk houses. That's about a house in Beverly Hills.
Starting point is 00:32:18 And the guy don't care about his house, he, you know, any clutters, and I mean, it's no different than anything else. Wow, he's waxing off. That's not funny, yeah, I mean, that's, that is true. It doesn't matter whether you, whether you live in a corner.
Starting point is 00:32:32 What'd you make of it? It reminds me of Costa Rica when I, I've spent a lot of time in Costa Rica. He would have been in Costa Rica. That's right, we did. So, you know, we have spent a lot of time in Costa Rica, you came down there with me for a couple of weeks.
Starting point is 00:32:41 That was so fun. One of the things that one of my friends who lived there and the reason why I was down there quite often, one of the things that he told me, the first time I ever went to Costa Rica was, Costa Rica is a third world country. Most of it is extremely poor, but they are extraordinarily cleanly.
Starting point is 00:32:57 They have a corner, cement box essentially, as a house, that house will be impeccably clean, they will be impeccably dressed because they care for the things that they have. So this guy makes a lot of sense here, he's waxing poetic, whether you have a mansion or a box, it's true. That's right. I mean look at this studio here. It's impeccable. It's impeccable. It's a fire hazard is what it is. Right, live during a summer month. I want to come show you guys how I live. Okay, this guy actually has a mansion.
Starting point is 00:33:28 This guy has a really nice place. He's got one of those trailers, you know, with the couches and the satellite TV and the running water and he's showing up. He's stylish. Yeah, everyone's in. Come on in. Come on in.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Got everything, Mark away, washing dryer, refrigerator oven. I think you wanted a apartment on wheels. Is that like dish? I get 400 channels. This is more channels than I get on my TV. I have a mansion. He does have a mansion.
Starting point is 00:33:57 He gets all the ladies. You know he's taking back all the poor men or whatever he's into. Yes. This is my upstairs. I should dry her. It's when the washers didn't here. This is my upstairs. Wash your dryer. It's running out of washers, then it dries after it's done washing. Wait, hold on.
Starting point is 00:34:10 They have washers and dryers in one actual thing? Yeah, that's what he's saying. They can wash and then they can dry. That's a thing. Why would we ever do anything else? Yeah. Why do we have a washer and a dryer separate? Astrid!
Starting point is 00:34:24 It's like I'll put something in and then I come back and I was done. My bathroom in there, shower, bed, laptop, palm pilot, I've all the creature comforts. Palm pilot. The old palm pilot. The old palm pilot.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Yeah. Well, I'm picturing it like. I've also got a palm pilot. All right, now settle down, it's fireside. That's how to punch myself. I've got a bunch myself. I'm pictured in kind of like, you know, the RV living. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:51 Where the bathroom doubles as a shower and... I've never lived in an RV, so I don't know. I've been in a sweaty, sweaty RV for a couple of my friends out in the woods. Part of it was working part of it wasn't, but it wasn't there for living. It was more there for drugs. I mean, that's just to recall what it was. But I have been to an RV show.
Starting point is 00:35:13 Astrid and I actually went to an RV show in man. They had some of those RVs, our cranes. They're three million. Oh yeah, there's millions of dollars and they open up pretty wide. It's marble floors, marble floors. Some of them have fireplaces in them. Like they're really 90-inch flat screen TVs
Starting point is 00:35:29 that are embedded into the wall. And then the seat that you drive in gives you a massage. It's a whole thing. Yes. It's really, really nice. These people are living most of them, not living in million-dollar trailers.
Starting point is 00:35:40 This is different. It's different. It's more like a box with two wheels on it. I think it's pulled around down. Except for one guy who does have that really, really nice trailer that has more advanced technology in it than I do, because I don't have a washer that then turns into a dryer.
Starting point is 00:35:55 How do you do that? How's that even functional? This is my mansion right here. This is my mansion, my home away from home. This is a box. He's pointing to my wife. But you know this, it's a painted box. Y'all have a nice day. I sit here and I meditate. I look to the sun, catch a few rays, and spend my morning in peace and quiet before all the chaos starts.
Starting point is 00:36:27 I wouldn't let you before all six people show up and want to ride my ride. Once the last time you went to a crowded carnival. I think like 30 years ago. Yeah, I don't think I've been to a crowded carnival in a long time. I've been to a state fair of this crowd. Well, the state fairs are different. Those are like a step above the carnival. a long time. I've been to a state fair that's crowded. Well, the state fairs are different. Those are like a step above the carnival. Are they are?
Starting point is 00:36:47 Yeah, I might have been. And the hierarchy of carnivals, the state fairs really where you want to be. If you're looking to work your way up the carnival ladder, you want to be at a state fair, is, you know, or one of those permanent carnivals. Right. Like the kind in Orlando, the ones that like set up shop there
Starting point is 00:37:02 and now they're just attached to the ground. You look inside, but then I wouldn't have no ladies to come to my house so y'all get out of here. I would have you look inside but there's some women chained up in the back and I don't want them screaming too loud and alerting the author at us. Yeah. Has nothing to hide. No, sir, Bob, I wouldn't let you inside the house, but my porn collection is rather large.
Starting point is 00:37:36 It's got a black in the entrance. I don't have a DVD. I just like to look at the covers. If you know what I mean, doesn't take this old bird dog long. He's got a palm pilot, so do I. You know what I mean. I love people who say if you know what I mean. Anybody who's saying, come get you something.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Come get you something. Same people. Come get you. You know what I mean. Yeah, if you know what I mean. Anybody who says, if you know what I mean after they're saying it, you clearly don't understand what they're saying. Right.
Starting point is 00:38:10 Yeah. Do you know what I mean? He didn't want people to come in because, do you know what I mean? Are you understanding what I'm saying? I see the answer a little. I can't even do it. This one is even easier.
Starting point is 00:38:19 Yeah, yeah. How did you feel about that last sentence? It's still under review in my head. I'm wondering how it played out in yours. Right, I said. It felt a little sideways coming out of my mouth, but then I thought, well, I pulled it together nicely. Did you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:38:35 Did you know what I mean? I started to think it sounded a little ridiculous that you can't come inside because then future women wouldn't be allowed. But then when I said it, I don't know. It sounded profound. Did you know what I it. I don't know. It sounded profound What do you feel about it? You know the main? You want me to do it again because I mean I can do it without the you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:38:56 And we just assume that everybody understood what I said. I Don't know that's a you make that call editorial editorial Editors editors choice Dealers choice Thanks for watching this episode oh sorry Thanks for watching this episode of the commercial break. We'll be right back. All right. Hello, fresh. Yeah. Hello, fresh. This episode sponsored and bought by Hello, fresh.
Starting point is 00:39:34 The favorite of parties everywhere. You know what I mean? It's so much fun. Oh, man. We should have hung it up the last episode. All right, let's get into some more carny activity. Here's the carny's on the Broadway, what they call the Broadway, where all the games are. Oh. Yeah, I think that's what they call it.
Starting point is 00:39:56 You know what I mean? Shake down street. You know what I mean? It's Shake Down Street is right. Listen to this. I want you to win something tonight. Here we go. I can see winner right now. I want you to win something tonight. Here we go. I can see winner wrote you. I want you to win something tonight. That's something includes a trip to my trailer. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:20 This is a guy standing in the broadway trying to convince people to play his game. Why is buddy? Come on I want you to try. All you got to do is pop me one balloon come on dad. Come on. I got a deal for you The people behind sounds more like a drug deal than it goes in actual carnival game first ones free I got a deal for you two tainers for a dollar Pop two balloons. I'll give you an extra big teddy bear. You know what I mean An encounter teddy bear is code for mef And the counter teddy bear is code for meth Our to sell the teddy bears that he get you to play the concession as many times as they possibly can and That's how they get their money. That's a percentage here. We go. We got a winner right here I can see it in your eyes, darling. Come on. I want you to win something here tonight
Starting point is 00:41:01 Meanwhile, he's saying darling to a seven year old car. Yeah. He's like, you're a winner in my eyes. I was going to say if I ever do frequent a carnival show, which I probably won't, but if I do in the future, I'm, you know, I'm just going to go with some money to spare. I'm just taking care of a lot of cars. Take care of a lot of cars. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Well, listen, that's a hard life. It is. You got to live off of the money that you make. Yeah. Because let's face it. No one wants to play the carnival games. They know that they're all rigged. And even though they say they're not, they clearly are.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yes. It's like the claw. Yeah. And what you're doing is like the claw, that fucking claw. That fucking claw is hard. I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going
Starting point is 00:41:40 to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I was going to, I Speaking of claw, I watched a video clip. And by the way, if this is your first time tuning in, I often makes little side notes that last for five to ten minutes. So you feel free to go get a beer at this point. This is like the bad song at the concert. Go get a beer. Use the restroom. So the claw, I was watching in Qatar, they have a claw that has stacks of $100 bills gold brand new iPhones all kind of
Starting point is 00:42:09 Apple TV luxury items right and one of the videos I was watching this guy later literally knocked over four or five Stacks of $100 bills into the box where he wanted wow Yeah, and he said he won like $15,000 and I'm like holy potatoes That's different than the shucky cheese. I I said. Yeah, that Chuck E. Cheese just gave me tickets that like man, it's a nothing. Who has 25,000 tickets, Chuck E. Cheese? By the way, we'll get into this. I have some, I, in a future episode, I have some edited audio of guys who do that for a living. They go to Chuck E. Cheese and David Busters and stuff like that. For a living.
Starting point is 00:42:47 They do the tickets and then they sell the items that they win. They basically game the games. Okay. But you listen, you're not winning anything at a carnival, except for a bear that costs 50 cents from China. Right. Right. That instead of Mickey Mouse, it says icky-house.
Starting point is 00:43:01 Yeah. Yeah. Who wants an icky-house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Dude. Here we go. Come on. I want you to win something to nice.
Starting point is 00:43:19 That's the guy's job. That is truly his job is to get as much money out of you as possible. It doesn't make him a bad guy. It doesn't make him a bad guy. It just makes him kind of a con man. You know what I'm saying? By the way, this is the man of the carnival that is saying this. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:43:36 His job is to get as much money out of you as possible. If up to and including taking your wallet directly out of your pocket doesn't make him a bad guy. It just makes him kind of a slippery character if you know what I mean. These guys have a tough life man. I mean a tough life. Can you imagine only eating what you kill and that kill and that game that you're playing is... Is that order radio sales?
Starting point is 00:43:57 Say it. About the same amount of money. Please. For me. With about the same amount of money. Outcomes are similar. People walk by and I ask them, hey, or I tell them, hey, you're ready. Come on in, let's get you one right here.
Starting point is 00:44:12 You got your girl, you got your prize. Let's get her one, you know. You're ready, I see. You're ready. You're ready. I see you, man. You got that glow. I call it, I call it the fish in the bowl glow.
Starting point is 00:44:23 I know you needed it. Call it I call it the fish in the bowl glow No, you needed Call it that darting the balloon glow You've been you've been bred for this Sun you were born. Yeah, I first one. I've been waiting. The oracle told me it would happen. The oracle told me a man would walk by your carnival stand and he would have the glow of the man
Starting point is 00:44:53 that could beat any carnival game out there. Yeah. They call him carnival man. So it's about $5. You got that, we think. Well, now that you blew smoke directly in my ass, I guess I'm in. Yeah, I've got the glow. I got the glow. Like that.
Starting point is 00:45:12 Anything to make a smile or get them a laugh out, try to get them in and have some fun with the game. Hey, you ready? Come on. Knock them off one time and you can get the pretty lady. Anything she wants on the inside. This year is what we call a water game. It is considered either a level water game
Starting point is 00:45:26 or a trade-up. When I mean by that, the more the people I get in the bigger the prize is. $3 or raise $3 a chase. Step on up, step on in, pick up a gun, give it a world, give it a twirl. First one to the top automatically wins. Win just sweetie, a sweetie, a honey, a bunny.
Starting point is 00:45:44 How about that teddy bear for that level fire? Wow. Wow. Look at that. That's like an idiot savanta. That's a practice. That's like, this is the lady who takes her job seriously. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Give it a twirl, give it a swirl. There's a sweetie for your sweetie. If you get sticky, you get a Mickey. Come on down. If you want to go around. Get to the top one the balloon pups if you know what I'm saying come on and win a teddy bear I can hear the otter man That girl had a practice, man.
Starting point is 00:46:26 She had a douse. She did. Yeah. Yeah, that's the boss of the god. Today's program. Mall away. Any size, any prize, your choice, the very first time. Yes, I don't tell you what you got to ask you what you want.
Starting point is 00:46:39 It's like for me and me. You're the very first time. It's like Burger King made your way the very first time. Yeah, so I guess here they're doing like I also sounded like a drive-through Give it a try Five dollars make you all are you'll scream in the hell that you lost another five dollars? Come on over here, sir. You look like the kind of guy who never loses a card all game. I've been doing this for 30 years and I've never seen a
Starting point is 00:47:09 glow on a man like you. Clearly you've been practicing. Get to the top if you make it pop. Don't worry, we don't think it's not. We need to pick your bear. Come on right here. Come here, sir. Don't you want to eat? Don't let your little lady go home without don't let your little lady go home without a 30 cent bear from afghanistan sir you would like to kind of man to get engaged at a carnival come on over come on over and pick yourself out of ring if you can make it swing I'll give you a ring that's right get engaged right here at the carnival. Come over here and let me get you. Guess you're wait. You've got the glow.
Starting point is 00:47:50 You've got the glow of a thousand Dunkin' Donuts. Come on over here, sir. I'll glaze. You're look a little glazed, sir. You all guess your weight. You guess how many bags left? And to snort to stand here all day long. We'll call it a stucco. It even Stevens. Stimphrod, up, step right up. Let's get back to the action on the brother. There used to be a lot of illegal games in the carnival business. But we took care of all that yesterday.
Starting point is 00:48:29 But we took care of all that tomorrow. There used to be a lot of illegal carnival games, but we took care of that tomorrow. Not anymore. Yes. On July 22nd, what day is it? 23rd? On July 27th, I meant. All illegal carnival games are illegal
Starting point is 00:48:46 we actually rob the people you rob them without a gun you robbing by trickery now when you rob somebody back then you took to pay jack you took to run money to take to car payment naturally you've made an enemy now i would just take their women's cars. We don't think the car payment
Starting point is 00:49:09 we actually take the vehicles. I guess that's a form of gambling, so. Step right up, step right up. You look like the kind of man who would gamble his car on the steady bear right here, sir. What kind of car do you drive? Ford Nissan 12? Yes, sir.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Leave your keys right here and shoot your eye right in the ear. Look at your lady. She's all upset. She doesn't have a $3 icky house. Did you say Mickey Mouse? I said icky house for legal reasons sir, but it looks exactly like Mickey Mouse minus the ears. And one eyeball. Don't mind the fact that its leg has come off. This is its third trip around South Carolina.
Starting point is 00:49:53 South Kekelecki. You know what I mean? Oh, man, this guy, by the way, this guy is just telling it like it is. He says, we used to rob you directly. Now we rob you indirectly. No, we just rob you directly. We used to rob you directly and we made enemies.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Now we rob you indirectly and we're making friends. No, I like it. Right. Yeah. You know what? We've really turned the feelings around. Yeah. We really turned the sense of the round of the carnival games.
Starting point is 00:50:21 Yeah. The National United Carnival Game Workers Association got together and said we need a PR campaign that really yeah We don't steal from you anymore is our new tagline carnival games. We won't fuck you Carnival games Nevermind it's fire style. I got to watch what I think That is a thing in the past. Roll, to the left, that, star, starlight, starlight, we got the winner. We want to come back to the same spot,
Starting point is 00:50:52 because that's our route. We want to treat the people nice. We want them to get their money's worth. We want them to have a good time. You got to do here is bust a balloon, and just trade smaller prizes up for larger prizes. Pretty it's called a trade up is what they call it in the yeah, I've watched enough cardinal videos to know it's called a trade up. So you I didn't know you could trade up. You can trade up. So you say, oh, well, for another
Starting point is 00:51:17 if you house, you could take the Ickie's, Ickie's house, traded in for the Ronald Buck. For the Ronald Fuck. So what you do is you spend $5 and you didn't win the game and then he says, well, that's okay, here's a little bear, right? I'll give you a little bear. Tell you what, spend another $5,
Starting point is 00:51:35 no matter if you winner, if you don't win, you can trade in the small one, I'll give you the bigger one. And then you say, oh, you really want the big, big one? Here's the deal, give me $10, give me the medium size one back. It doesn't matter if you win or if you don't win. I'll give you that one for you, little lady.
Starting point is 00:51:48 I got it down. That's what I'm thinking about my retirement plan. I want to, I'm thinking about my podcast retirement plan. Since, you know, the podcasters union pays so much, I'm figuring how we're, you know, how are we going to retire in our old age? Don't just going to travel around the country as a carnie. Like these can come visit me there. So that's how it works.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Now, here's the reality. The small little stuffed animals, they literally cost 20 cents. There are children somewhere in horrible conditions, making these things, they cost nothing to make. And so it doesn't matter if you win or if you lose, the game is to be... Yeah, it's the pool, it's the bait.
Starting point is 00:52:29 Yes, that's the bait. That's right. It used to be that they would steal your money because the games would be 100% rigged and almost no one could win them, except for them, or they would have a shield come up and that shield would play the game a certain way. And you'd be like, oh, he won, I guess I can win,
Starting point is 00:52:45 it's clear that it's not, right? But the prizes were real. They were stuff you actually wanted, but you'd never win them. Now they said, well, let's just steal your money a different way. Let's just give you shit. You never want, but looks pretty sitting up there.
Starting point is 00:53:01 Well, let's just give you shit you never want. It doesn't matter how you play the game because I can make money on this all day long. If I give you a 50 cent toy or a dollar cent toy and I, and you spend five bucks, five bucks by the way is a lot of money to spend on a carnival game, isn't it? Doesn't it feel like? I feel like I could, you could play a carnival game for a dollar. Or maybe, am I just, I think we are all. I remember Woodstock 99. Half our audience wasn't born in 99. Easy game.
Starting point is 00:53:28 Even if you don't win, you still get a prize over here. It's a nice one ain't it? Hey buddy, here if you can't win, I'll just give your lady a prize. I ain't that busy today. Hey, that busy, so I'm not making any money, so I'll give more of my money away. Yeah, that sounds like a perfect logicalogical explanation. Yeah, I'm in a generous mood. I've lost all my life savings this afternoon
Starting point is 00:53:52 So why don't I just give some more of it away to you sir? I Figure why not it's all over at the end of the day I'm gonna drink my sorrows into a bottle of wild turkey. Get on me. Five dollars right now. Okay, I'll tell you what, I'll start you up by the teddy bear. But it's a build up game. The more shots you get, the bigger your prize.
Starting point is 00:54:14 All right? I'll tell you what, spin the fight. I'll tell you what, spin the fight. Why don't you do for me, big guy? I have no money in my wallet. You have no money in your wallet. I'm not joking. Big guy.
Starting point is 00:54:23 That was just bad, bad. Where's your friend at? Maybe you can help your ass with friends of course. Sounds exactly like some weed you and stuff. I used to deal with it. Yeah. Hi, and I, I'm out here with the Bustabaloo. Yeah. I really need some.
Starting point is 00:54:37 I'm being a hell hostage at the Bustabaloo. You got a $5. He's got me a $5. I'm like, yeah, one time I went to Tijuana. I'm like, absolutely like, well, where's your friend? Or you're going to jail? I was like, ah, I don't really have any friends. I don't know if you noticed.
Starting point is 00:54:54 Yeah, this is total like highway robbery. This is awful. Just like, you cringe just listening to this. But this is how these guys make a living. It's how they have to do it. But this does remind me of a weed dealer that I used to have once. He'd be like, man, you ain't got next extra $10 on you. And I'd be like,
Starting point is 00:55:07 no. All right, well, here, I'm going to give it to you. And then you owe me 20 later. And I'd be like, but I didn't really want that. I said, you owe me 20 later. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'll get that 20 to you. It's 30 if you don't get it to me by Wednesday. Make sure you call me again. Come here. You step to my come here. You go to the car lot and you want sure you call me again. Come here. You step to my, come here. You go to the car lot and you want to buy a $5,000 car. And before you leave, you bought a $20,000 car. Wow.
Starting point is 00:55:34 Yeah, that does happen. You step into somewhere. Yeah. At the carnival, it's the same theory. You come, you say, well, I only want to spend $5 because it's only $5 to play. Well, before you leave, you don't spend $20. When you get home, you scratch your head a little bit and you're happy. They just gave my car away.
Starting point is 00:55:55 I just gave my car away. I love this guy's comparison game. He's strong. His anecdote game is strong. He says, it's kind of like the car lot. You go there, you're one of by a $5,000 car, you got that red car picked out, and you end up spending $20,000 on the board.
Starting point is 00:56:10 You know what I'm saying? It's exactly the same when you come to the carnival. You want that one teddy bear that costs $5, you end up spending $600 on the carnival games because they hold you hostage. You and your friends, you get home. You're all black and blue from being beat up by the carnies. And then you go
Starting point is 00:56:25 will I'm happy I'm happy it's nothing like going to the car lot no I don't go to the carnival going I'm gonna I don't go to the carnival yeah baby I don't do you ever go to six flags and say I'm gonna go play a bunch of carnival games no no I did do when I was younger there but now I'm all about the roller coasters yeah you're all now I'm all about the roller coasters. Yeah, you're all about staying out, staying on the roller coasters. Yeah, me too. And you know what the thing is now that I have children and that's what I, I, you know what I like about?
Starting point is 00:56:53 Well, just give me a, like a, like here's $10. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course I always ask for more because I would blow it. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just see there you go. But maybe that they really ever allocated me 20, but they gave me 10 to start with. And then if I came back from more than I knew that's right. Yeah, you got to see there, you got to. But maybe they really have really allocated me 20, but they gave me 10 to start with,
Starting point is 00:57:07 and then if I came back from more than I knew that was it. Yeah, you knew that was it. They were a game. That's what I like, and I don't like, what I don't like about Disney World is it's so fucking expensive. When you spend $10,000 there for a family afford to go for a day, it's crazy, and it's not getting any cheaper, by the way.
Starting point is 00:57:21 They are making it an extremely premium, exclusive product, right? Yeah. They are charging more, they are sending less people in the front door, they are charging way more than they ever did before. But you don't get highway robbed by all the carnival games like you do at Six Flags or other places, right? So what I figure is I'm spending the same amount of money,
Starting point is 00:57:38 I'm just spending it on icky house, I'm spending it on Mickey Mouse. So real license. That's right. That's right. That's right. All right, I got more carny content, but I thank you much time talking about Woodstock 99. So, I don't know what else I can do. We'll get back to it on another episode of Thell,
Starting point is 00:57:53 commercial break. Let me tell you how to do it. Let me tell you what I'm gonna do. Ready, ready for my smear? Yeah. Here we go. You know what I mean? I do.
Starting point is 00:58:03 Go to TCB Podcast.com, you know what I mean? Okay do. Go to tcbpodgas.com. You know what I mean? Okay. You're gonna listen to all the audio. You're gonna watch all the video all from one place. You'll find out more about Chrissy and I. You can read all the show notes if that's what you're into. At the commercial. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:58:18 That's what I mean. Come over here. Where's your friend? Your friend have any money? He looks rich. Where's your friend? Your friend have any money? He looks rich. Where's your friend? You got that globe. You don't anymore. Can I get a dime bag? Sure. Here's a pound. You owe me $500. I don't want a pound. I said $500.
Starting point is 00:58:38 By Tuesday. Where's your friend? Go sell it to him. Thank God I was never a Jordi leader. Where's your friend? Go sell it to him. Ha ha ha. Thank God I was never a join dealer. I would have been really bad at that. Really bad at that. Ah! Ah! Ah! At the commercial break on Instagram,
Starting point is 00:58:57 please go ahead and join us. We don't have fake followers. That's all you gotta know. We don't have fake followers yet. We don't have fake followers yet. Not yet. There you go. Ah! And www.youtube.com slash the commercial break
Starting point is 00:59:09 to watch all of this on video. Please subscribe in episode number 85. If you watch all the way through, you'll notice that toward some part of the video, there are little clues like weird, weird words that are on the screen. You'll get what I'm saying. Write those weird words down,
Starting point is 00:59:26 because I'm gonna ask a question on episode number 100, and if you get the answer, it's not gonna be hard to answer. If you get the answer, write, you'll email us, and then when you email us, you'll be entered into when our next commercial break grand prize. And when did this start, Brian? Just so in case people are listening for the first time.
Starting point is 00:59:41 Episode 85. At 85, okay. At 85, episode number 85. So you gotta go on YouTube. On YouTube, so go are listening for the first time. Episode 85. At 85, okay. At 85, episode number 85. So you gotta go on YouTube. On YouTube. So go and watch the episodes. I know you're doing a lot of homework at this point, but let's, let me give you another little hint
Starting point is 00:59:53 since we're getting close. I'll give you a hint. You may not have to watch every single video in order to get the answer. You know what I'm saying? I'm not making any out of all. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 01:00:03 You know what I'm saying? Come get some of this. But if you'd like to be entered into win our next grand prize, which is grand, by the way, we don't, we're not cheap around here. We're not gonna get any. We don't have any icky outs. We don't have any icky outsies.
Starting point is 01:00:15 We're straight up Mickey Mouse's. I'm gonna get a cease and desist from Disney tomorrow. I guarantee you. Wait, Cubans on the Disney Network. He can help me out. Yeah. Hey Mark, need your help. I'm hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you want to be entered into win, you can do that. 470-5848-449 is the phone number. If you'd like to be on the commercial break as a part of the commercial break, fire side chat, download it, and soon we'll be interacting with you.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Chrissy, Bransford, Brian Green. You'll see the TCB logo, and lots of people are following me on fire side. So I know the message is getting through. There you go. I need to do that. Congratulations. Let me get on. Hey, follow me. Yeah, you need to get it. You need to follow me. You know what I mean? And then what you can do is you can text message
Starting point is 01:01:14 just 470-584-8449. If you'd like to be a part of a future show, we are taking phone calls now. Not in this episode, we didn't, but you know. Yeah, in future, this is still kind of a little practice. Yeah, we're a little practicing on both on fireside and the phone calls. So that's why we're not, we're not overdoing it. We're not going crazy. Because content in our time is precious and we want to make sure that we don't
Starting point is 01:01:36 lose it out there into the ethos. So that's it. That's all I got to say. What else can we do today, Christine? I think that's it. I think that's it. This is how this goes. I love you, Christine. I love you, Brian. And we love you out there is how this goes. I love you, Chris. I love you, Brian. And we love you out there in the podcast universe. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. And best to you out there in the podcast audience. And until next time, we must say,
Starting point is 01:01:53 by the commercial break, new episodes on Tuesdays and now Fridays. New YouTube clips drop daily at youtube.com. Slash the commercial break. Visit tcbpodcast.com for access to our entire media library. Follow us at the commercial break on Instagram. Each episode is written and produced by Brian Green, co-hosted by Chrissy Holtley,
Starting point is 01:02:19 with additional content provided by Tina Cano. So the show will start in a few minutes. There's a couple minutes of music and lead up and then And then we go from there. So if Thanks for joining if you want to listen please feel free to and Yeah, what else I got to say that's it. No one wants to hear me talk No one else is in the rear actually. Okay good. Well then no one's here. That's not all way But yeah, that old wait, but he Well, then no one's here. There's this old weight bot. Yeah. That old weight, but he makes it look like there's somebody in there.
Starting point is 01:02:47 He does. I think we have to do this a little bit before people start actually showing up. Yeah. And there's still a relatively small crowd out there. So, I mean, in general, on the app. Okay, so we're going to start the show. Um, here we go.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Here we go I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful.
Starting point is 01:04:34 I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm gonna go. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one.
Starting point is 01:05:10 I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one.
Starting point is 01:05:21 I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to get the first one. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. I'm going to be a little bit more careful. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:06:03 you

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