The Cryptid Factor - 16: #016 The Touching Flesh Issue

Episode Date: June 9, 2015

David, Rhys and Buttons all managed to all get in the same city and make this - the latest Cryptid Podcast! All manner to discover with us this week - wrist-watch stealing lizard men, actual audio from a bigfoot argument, Buttons discovers his house is haunted and we help advertise a double niche dating service.

The Quintet Factor, with Rhys, Derby, and David Fadriar Hello and welcome to The Quintet Factor, we're in 2015 now, it's about 11.55pm We're on the whiskeys, we've got pies, minced pies, that's a delicious treat we have here in New Zealand You just introduced this with no day of the week or month or date Well no, it's a podcast Just 2015 and 11.15 at once You don't give too much detail because when people go back into the archives, they don't want to think, God, how old's this? No, we don't want to date it too much, just a little bit, so I've gone for the year and the exact time

And that's the way to do it You're so behind the scenes, he's the guy pulling the strings, and he's the kind of guy, you go to a play And Buttons is the guy that can see the wires, you know, and he points out, oh look, you can tell that she's not really floating with the umbrella There's why, you know, there's relativity, right? We have to keep things real But it's about imagination, you know, that's what the whole show's about And you think over the years of doing this podcast, Leon, you would have developed a bit of an imagination, you know? My imagination would scare you My imagination would give you nightmares

It actually does sometimes when you do Buttons, it's so good to have you here, as always, you're pushing the buttons You've got us all mic'd up here in Auckland City Reese is flowing back to New Zealand from Los Angeles just for this podcast, actually, just for this recording tonight I'm in the same room, guys Woohoo! Which is a crazy thing Touching flesh

Touching flesh Oh, God, that feels good Oh, that was a terrible high five If only people could see what's happening right now Well, they can without new webcams I've set up Have you? No Imagine that

This is the internet's best podcast about cryptozoology We try and round up the weirdest and most interesting news from around the world Focusing, of course, on cryptozoology, the science and the study of hidden animals Where should we start? Buttons? What do you reckon, producer? Well, let's start with our favourite segment Weekly World Weird News Crazy, freaky, watch out Right, well

You see, what have you got Buttons? What have you got? What's been going on in the world? Okay, so I've got some personal news to share with you both Oh This is probably more for the segment of eyewitness accounts Okay, so do you want to wait for that then? Or are you bursting with excitement to reveal this information? Okay

Is there something to do with Bruce Jenner? What have you done to yourself? No, okay, you're going to have to guide me on this then She's hot It's about ghosts I know we don't do ghosts We don't do ghosts Buttons, ghosts

Okay, stop Ghosts are bullshit, ghosts are out But you've got to stop for a second because you've got to hear what I'm saying It's a personal story about ghosts I've seen a ghost Really? Yes When recently?

Okay, yes, very recent Do you want it now or should we save it for eyewitness accounts? Well, I think you've built up a nice teaser Let's leave it for eyewitness accounts Let's leave it for now and we'll bring it back For the one or two people that are interested in ghosts They're going to stay tuned right till the end They'll be with you till the end

If you're not, then I guess when he does reveal that You could probably tune out We'll keep it till the end Well, I guess in weekly, world-weird news I thought I'd go for something incredibly local That's interesting to both the people of New Zealand and people beyond And that's a big headline that rippled through the papers today Government isn't likely to limit the number of cats people can own

Oh So it's a big call by the government The government It's a big call by the government Namely John Kea, our Prime Minister Who's, there was the Conservation Minister Maggie Barry suggested that there should be a rule here in New Zealand That you can only own one cat

That if that went into law, then it would mean Supposedly the number of birds been killed by cats would decrease Yeah But you know, a lot of people here in New Zealand, we love cats Yes I don't know, I've owned cats, have you guys owned cats? I love cats, I'm a cat man You're a cat man

It caused a bit of alarm, this idea that New Zealanders could only own one cat So the Prime Minister's come up today and said, don't worry There's going to be no change of legislation New Zealanders can own as many cats as they want Wow, so that's exciting So that was a big, big bit of debate today We were close to being a one cat per family It was on the table

Wow Well no, that's the debate, whether it was per person or per family I imagine per family would have been the most logical thing Because people could get that wrong and every person could have thought Oh jeez, we'd better get a cat Everyone has to have a cat each You know, because we often don't read our headlines properly No, we breeze through

You just do a skim And next thing you know, we're full of cats And what I don't understand, I'm going to show this photo to you guys But there's a photo in the paper of John Key with a cat I can't tell if it's real or photoshopped Oh wow Do you think that's our Prime Minister grabbing a cat or is that a photoshop job? I don't care if it is photoshopped

I don't care though because it is beautiful And it goes to show once again Just like how we were ridiculed about our Prime Minister I'm eating them Folks, he's eating a pie Now normally he has big pauses while he's talking Now they're even longer because he's eating a pie Shoving a pie then is right

We're sitting here late at night, we're hungry Back to my point What was your point, did you have a point? Well, only a month ago or so Our Prime Minister, dear John, was touching girls ponytails Ponytailgate And now he's cuddling cats People are going to look at our country and think that we're somewhat of a joke

Oh we're already a bit of a, you know We're a bit of a joke but I think actually, you know, we're a novelty And we're eccentric and I don't think there's anything wrong with that Especially when we're not doing a show about that kind of stuff Now, from cats to snakes Yeah, a realtor has been accused of selling snake infested homes Not again Yeah

So, Annapolis Have you heard of that? Well, it's a place So Annapolis Yeah, Annapolis It's in the States Is that how you say it? It's Annapolis

Annapolis It's Anna with the police at the end of it Annapolis It's Annapolis There's a couple there that say that their real estate agent knew their future home Was infested with snakes but sold it to them anyway Oh, that's a dirty trick The Capital Gazette reports that Geoff and Jody Brooks filed a $2 million lawsuit two weeks ago

They say their family was driven out because the home was crawling with snakes That's actually awful, isn't it? Yeah, no That's worse than buying a leaky home They've missed a trick there What trick have they missed? They shouldn't have sued They should have gone straight to Hollywood from Annapolis

Yeah And sold that story as a movie script That's an amazing script Oh, don't worry, it'll come out It's coming out Look, the Brookses, they're the couple They say the exterminators found black rat snakes, snake skins, dens, tunnels and feces Oh, that's actually terrifying

It makes you wonder how much of a look-through they did before they bought it though Do you want to have a look inside just before you purchase it? No, we can see from here Looks all right, that's about the size of it What's that noise there? That'll be nothing, it's a cricket, is it? What a snake poo, looked like anyway Is it long?

Is it like a snake? Little tiny dollops Imagine being Harry Potter And being able to understand snake language in that house You'd be in there, you'd be all these conversations, you'd be like, shut up I mean, we laugh though, don't we? But Leon, you've got a family If you moved into a new home and you found out there were snakes everywhere

It'd be terrible, wouldn't it? It's a real problem I would get a bit clever about it It's worth pointing out to our listeners Clever would you, Leon? Sell tickets, sell tickets to He turns a bad into a good every time, this guy You do, you're our Mr Positive

It is worth pointing out that we don't have snakes in New Zealand, listeners So to us, snakes are almost mythological I tell you, I'd be able to sell tickets to my house, that's what I'm saying In New Zealand here, come and see the snakes They'll be like, what? Snakes in New Zealand? They'll be like, let me in? Did I tell you about that time I rode over a snake in Thailand? On a push-bike?

I was on a scooter on my honeymoon Oh God And I saw it on the road and it was a colourful rope-looking object So my mind thought, oh, someone's left a fancy-looking rope out on the road Fancy leaving a rope like that of that quality Probably hand-woven, painted by a young child So I rode over it thinking, oh, if I'd do anything, do it And as soon as I did, I heard a bit of a noise

And then my wife, who was on the back, Rosie, she patted me on the... I said, oh, someone left a rope out and she patted me on the shoulder I said, I think it was a snake You've just caught a snake So I pulled over, got off the scooter Worth pointing out, as I got off, hit her off it as well It's all... If you've heard the story, it's in my stand-up

And the way these guys are laughing, they've never seen me lie But I went over to it and there it was, the snake cut in two Oh, straight down the middle Straight down the middle, killed my first snake And of course, what do you do, you know, it could be a rare one It could be, you know, it could be endangered So I took both halves of it and shoved them into my pockets And ran into the...

Are you serious? Ran into the jungle and sort of scattered them individually So anyway, let's move on That's your weird cover-up It's the panic Yeah, it's a panic The police are gonna come across you Did you call that snake?

Nothing worse than a panic cover-up Panic cover-up That's the type of my new... Shallow grave, yeah Shallow grave I should have just left it But no, I found I should do something It was a wonderful thing to do

There was snake innards in my pockets and all sorts of stuff That is amazing Yeah Okay, well, I've got some news here I've got some news No ghosts, come on Japan has a new resident as well as a new tourism ambassador It's exciting in itself

But can you take a guess as to who they have made their new tourism ambassador And a new resident I would guess And actual paperwork I would guess I'd guess Godzilla You're such a prick No, but it's a really good story

It is Godzilla is now officially a resident of Japan And their tourism ambassador So take us through what this means Okay, so the famous monster that we all know One of the very first cult icon, I guess, cryptozoological beasts Completely And one of the most iconic of all time

And certainly the first one for it Has been made officially a resident of Japan Have paperwork for it Godzilla famously thought it was sort of a monster But it protected Japan from other creatures But still caused a heck of a lot of destruction He did cause a lot of damage in the process In the process, he killed a lot of people

But that's the best part about him is he is a good guy Yes Well, actually, I think he started off as a baddie And then became a goodie Or perhaps it was one of his sons No, it's exactly it Maybe one of his sons Right, so it's sort of a town icon now

Or as a country icon Is it the whole of Japan? Is it just Tokyo? No, the whole of Japan He's granted Godzilla's been granted special residency For the purpose of promoting the entertainment of and watching Over the Kabuki Cho neighborhood And drawing visitors from around the globe

In the form of Godzilla He had built atop the Shinjuku Tohu building Is the official purpose Well, you lost me a couple of sentences ago It's one big sentence, is the problem I think it's fantastic I just wonder whether it will have the same impact As Nessie does

Because, you know, there's a chance There's a hope that there is, you know You might get a glimpse You might get a glimpse Whereas Godzilla? It's entirely fictional True But you never know with the Japanese

I reckon they'll probably create something That could, you know, thunder down the main street In the middle of the night They have had some further radiation problems Since Godzilla was a big deal So, you know, who knows There might be something for them I wonder if they blame him

Some people in Japan may blame, you know Godzilla or will hope that Godzilla will come Indeed to their rescue When these kind of massive natural disasters happen Yeah, you know, it does have some legitimacy There's, um, dinosaurs could be reincarnated Through DNA that have been, you know, has been found And there's every chance that through, you know

Interbreeding with elephants I'm spinning here a little bit I think you're spinning I think it's best we, you know No, but you've got to admit with, you know If they can extract some DNA All those Japanese elephants That we're very familiar with

Okay, okay Best I jump in here with my last bit of Weirdness for the week And I'm just going to sort of read the first paragraph Of this article Do you like stories about UFOs, ghosts, bigfoot lake monsters Near-Earth experiences and old conspiracy theories? Do we all do?

I'll put my hand up And do you also find it hard to meet like-minded folks Who are into the same fringy things? Oh, I know where this is going Tell me about it Perhaps even someone with whom you could start a relationship with Oh, this is music to my ears Get ready

Oh, here we go For ParanormalDate.com Oh, I'm so into this I'm into this Oh, yeah, shut the bed I know it's like to try and look for someone That you want to spend the rest of your life with But it's not that easy

Society is at a point now Where you don't want to meet other people in a bar Says George Norrie, co-founder, ParanormalDate.com Digital and dating has turned into Billions of people online all over the world Looking for that special person It's amazing to me how digital has created the ability For people to get to know each other before they even meet

Wow How do I, where do I sign up? Well, you just sort of basically go to ParanormalDate.com And it's a whole lot of people that are into the Paranormal Wow And you know, you've got profile pictures up there You know, you could meet someone, Leon You, Leon, could meet another person

To get to kiss these people and stuff? You can kiss them if you like Really? Yeah, you know, they've still got to give you permission to do it But you've still got to stick by the usual rules, don't you? Actually, you know, going on a date You know, buying them a meal You can't just go in with your tentacles

And your weird suckers And sort of, you know, latch onto their neck And go, oh, I'm from another realm! You know, and hope that they're into it Ah, I'm a rock monster Not exactly Or perhaps you, maybe you'd want to date a ghost With your new little ghost friend

Generally, this would be people I went out with a ghost once But I saw a straight thrower You know, she was... Noises generally This will be for people who are interested in the unusual The mysteries So it's really not for anybody who's just looking for a date

Yeah If they're not interested in the genre Or the topics, it's probably a wasted time That's a niche, that's a double niche, isn't it? I think, well, this world is bigger than, you know People are willing to give it credit for And I think, if there was a website there Where there was boxes that you could tick

You know, is my potential partner into Bermuda Triangle Chupacabra Fairies You know, Alien Moon Base And then the other person will It'll come up on their site Oh, hang on, I like all of that

But I don't believe in aliens I'm not going out with you So close, we're both into fairies I'm actually not going out with you How pinpointy does it have to be? The one problem with ParanormalDate.com Is that I've gone onto their website And it's just a whole lot of pictures of dudes

Oh, right That's a great idea Well, I know for a fact that women love this stuff There are women out there that do love the Paranormal Let's do a promotion now for all you ladies You know who you are First of all, let's hear a shout from you Didn't hear much there

But okay, let's say you did shout Good on you, I love you Get on this site, you know I love men who are like-minded Quite lonely, quite lonely men Let's not say they're just lonely men I mean, how lonely can you be When you've got the wealth of the internet

At your fingertips Put yourself on a dating site You're probably pretty lonely Right, you're pretty lonely Yeah, something I'm not too familiar with But look, if you're lonely and you're into the Paranormal Then ParanormalDate.com Are you ever lonely though

When you're into the Paranormal No, you're quite right Everything's just a click away And you can always explore the world Searching yourself Yeah Reminds me of that in-people song You got a search engine inside yourself

You got a search engine inside yourself You got a search engine inside yourself It's all this way It's all this way It's all this way It's all this way I'm a threesome on that It was a big hit

It was And that's my Weekly World Weird News Great, that's really, really awesome Oh, thank you so much One thing with cryptozoology Is that a lot of animals are found That people freak out about They find them often dead

And they go, I've found something really unusual here They get it analysed It's quite often hairless Hairless Quite often Here on one of these crazy sites That's got just, you know, clickbait I found something that was actually worth baiting

My clicks for And it's 15 normal animals Without hair And how different they look So here you go So I'll put the same clip for you at home First of all A rabbit

That's insane How good is that? It looks If you came across that You would go I have found something quite unique It looks like an old man From a Star Wars film

Yes You know Put the little hair around the little snout Let me Let me teach you the ways You know Next one up here is Oh yes, no

I'm familiar with this picture Yep, the bear Look at that David Speckled bears Yeah Speckled bears Look at that

With no hair A bear with no hair Looks freaking terrifying Very scary Because it looks like to me A man That has bent over And he's wearing

Almost like perhaps a vinyl Body suit Yeah And he's got a werewolf head on It's terrifying Totally It doesn't look like a bear It's a real eye-opener here

Yeah You lose hair And you look awful, don't you? That's right What's that? Hedgehog Without its spikes How is that even possible?

Have they just somehow fallen out? Quite ugly This is quite difficult For the listener of the podcast This season Now you've just clicked on some hairless women No, and this is Leon

This is a very different Fourteen craziest wedding dresses That should have never happened No, this is a good one Okay, look at this one Look at that Oh, that's A parrot

A parrot with no hair It actually looks terrifying Terrifying A parrot with no hair It looks like a cooked chicken But the biggest question's got to be Why are they all hairless? What's happened to them?

I don't know I don't know Maybe just a disease or something That's a ring hoon Oh my goodness It's terrible Alright, so I think the point of this is You're bored

But also Take a look at these hairless animals Just to remind yourself That things without hair do look odd And next time you do see something That you think might be crazy and odd From another realm Check it's just not something normal

That's hairless Okay, one of the cutest things Anybody's ever had a guinea pig Oh yes Look at that thing Wow No longer cute Like a little miniature hippopotamus

Yeah I'm willing to say a little bit cute It's the same thing with humans though Entirely bald humans can be quite full on Yes Hair just softens things, doesn't it? You want some things hairless Other things you need a bit of hair

It makes things more natural, doesn't it? It makes things more natural Otherwise you do question Where's your follicles? I didn't want to say anything But it's just something I noticed Yeah Where are those follicles?

Alright, let's take a break And come back with some cryptid news Attention, old personnel It's time for this week's cryptid Help me Because this part of the show We really delve into specific cryptid news You know, we get sidetracked on the show

Often by other weird stuff, UFOs You know, Leon's trying to talk about ghosts All the time It's like, piss off with your ghost buttons Piss off Although that is still coming up For those ghost followers So this is really cryptid-specific news

And I wanted to talk briefly about a brand new book That's come out called Hiking Sasquatch Country And if you're in the United States It really is the best book Because it takes you through The subtitle is Exploring Bigfoot's Backyard So it really takes you through Where Bigfoot is, where he's been seen

So you too can go hiking There's some trails and possibly get spotted So it's been written by Wendy and Gary Swanson Of Grant's Pass The book covers 39 different hikes And 37 historical points of interest In Southern Oregon So they did it for their beauty

But also The likelihood of seeing Bigfoot So it covers things like Wolf Creek, Rogue River Trail Illinois Valley Applegate Valley Oh, Applegate Valley Famous, Famous Valley, Applegate

So yeah, I just want to give a shout out to the book Because you know, it's only $16.95 And if you're in the United States And you will find Bigfoot The Hiking Sasquatch Country book Is a pretty good place to start Wow, that's a great Note

Well, that's a great note But that is probably Better for DVD and sometimes book review But it was a news item It was a news item, it's a news book Once he's read it, he'll bring it back And review it

It's a new book By the way, I'm reading a book at the moment Strange Creatures Seldom Scene So I read, I snuck into your book A little bit Awesome, did you? Because I was freaking out I was reading it the other night

And I got to chapter three And all of a sudden There was a mention of buttons I was reading it It was about giant beavers And they were finding them I snuck in Yeah, you just appeared

And he's like Hello Hello Are you looking for beavers there? I'm in here, if you're ready Freak me out, I had to shut it So I only got to chapter three I read

Why do you sneak into people's books? Liam, we've talked about this It's creepy I needed, I was, I saw your book Fantastic title Wonderful title Your own book buttons I showed it to him

He did, he showed it to me And then I had a little read And I've got to say Really gripping stuff Even just open to a random page There they are talking about giant beavers And if there isn't comedy In looking at giant beavers

Then what else is there? Yeah, I don't know what else is there But look, I'm going to review this book Next time Because I'm only a part way through it Yeah, yeah, yeah And stop appearing in it Because you're weird

Especially with that voice Okay Guess what guys What There's a Missourian man And he thinks he might have recorded Arguing Bigfoot Oh

Not just Bigfoot Arguing But two arguing with each other Now this is from Cryptozoology News Then it springs Does he define what Bigfoot is arguing with? Let me read this This chap has released an audio file

Containing unknown sounds He suspects could be linked To the unproven creature He suspects that it's loose It's a good suspicion So loose Now these are always wonderfully written articles here From the Cryptozoology News

Randy Savick, a disabled 50-year-old Who has been investigating the Bigfoot phenomenon For over three years Says he and other researchers Go to the Bennett Springs area annually This year, Bennett Expedition Was a huge success This must be what he called it

Not on his own expedition We've got some unknown audio clips, he says They used a microphone And a drop box to record the sounds He meticulously takes notes Of every audio detail He can not to immediately identify What?

He meticulously takes notes Of every audio detail he can He cannot This is the problem with you're going to write articles And I've brought this up before Cryptozoology News last time And again here, you've got to add commas To your sentences

And just have a think about Read your stuff when you've written it Because it's out there And then, you know, this is what happens I don't mean to take the mickey But when you put your stuff out there You're open to it So, neither here nor there

I've got an audio clip I'm going to play And let's see if you think That this could possibly be Bigfoot arguing Now this sound you're listening to now Is possibly a Bigfoot walking As a note has come up on the On the audio file

Another note here There was a large shadow Spotted out the window By one of the people in the cabin Oh, so are we... Should we jump to... News just in I've just found in the article

The arguing sound Doesn't happen to the 10 minute 20 mark So I'm just going to skip forward now No, let's stay for 10 minutes Let's stay, let's listen for 10 Okay everybody, go make a cup of tea

This is a good time to go make a cup of tea Ah Here we go I'm just going to skip forward Just subtly, just to the Just to see what happens around the 10 minute mark Oh what? What's going on here? Alright, here we are

Back at the cabin This is the arguing hand Now you can definitely hear it in the distance Definitely angry You hear that? That was a bird So it is Oh

Well those are birds But it's definitely in the distance there And I think we've probably passed the mark of it Although it still is another note This was recorded at dusk Where a shower came in So that's raining That's raining

But what we'll do is we'll put this up Properly without us talking Over the top of it and you can hear that Decide for yourself I mean there was definitely something there It did sound to me Like there was some whooping and hollowing in the background there And it sounded angry

I have to give it to him There was that sound in there, that sounded very Angry Arguing Maybe he was just really frustrated Would Bigfoot argue? You've got to ask these questions Social creatures

There's a note here In the article Some Bigfoot investigators such as the Australian man In charge of the Yaoi Listing Project His name's not given But we do have a comma here Believe the creature is so elusive That the only possible way to capture evidence

Of its existence will be To use an audio recorder And I think that's a good point Because I think I've heard the Sierra sounds I've got the CD, the discs Of the Bigfoot Supposed Bigfoot recordings

And they actually sound like this recording here So I'm excited by that Same Right now I'm going to do something which we haven't done for a while Before I come back with my cryptozoological news Can't wait here about your ghost story You're listening to that

No, we're not going into that just yet I may not even tell you No, if you're going to pay me out like this We're going to play the 9-1-1 recording It's been quite some time Since we played it on this And on the show And it is our favourite, isn't it?

It's one of the best, as far as cryptozoology goes It's by far one of the best recordings And listening to that recording I thought I get chills So let's just go to that And we'll come back with my amazing piece of crypto Buzzer Did you see what it was?

Was it a person or an animal? I can't tell All I know is that my center light came on And I just happened to glance and see this thing Running across the yard A good sized man Or something that looks like a man I don't know what it was

Just it ran across the yard Okay You've had problems in the neighborhood before? Yeah, my dog was killed here just recently I don't know what it was Whatever it is, just running I couldn't catch it If I was going to chase it

So whatever it was, it was standing up I'm out here looking through the window now I don't see anything I don't want to go outside Jesus Christ, you better See him Hello Get somebody out here

What's going on now, sir? That son of a bitch is about six foot nine I don't know Do you see him now, sir? Yes, I'm looking right at him Uh-oh Okay, hang on He's right

Is he in your yard, sir? Yeah, he's big Okay, what's he doing in your yard? He's looking at me And the guy is on foot I don't know It's a big, real big person That's all I can say

Okay, but it is a person Yeah, I'd say it was a person Somebody really big But he's all in black Is he a black male or a white male? Did you actually see with it? Or was he just wearing black? He's all black

And he's big He is big Well, it gets me every time Whoa I love it It's amazing It's one of the reasons I'm sitting here right now It gives you goosebumps, doesn't it?

It does, yeah You know, it's like, it's chilling And it really does It keeps you It keeps the flame alive Oh, it does And that poor 9-1-1 lady In the call centre

What do you make of that? Yeah, this guy is Freaking out He's not faking that Whatever he has seen I would love to interview her Oh, it should be amazing We could track her down

I'll try I'll see what I can do Get on her buttons Get on her I've got faith in you I've got a yellow pages here I'll start there Okay, now, arguably

This is potentially Alien news Arguably It's probably quite obvious Reptilians What do we think? Reptilians? Aliens?

Or cryptids? Well, either or Okay Well, I've got some news here New Jersey woman claims A reptilian alien Broke into my house And took my watch

What? That's a great headline What website are you on? Ah, don't worry about that Don't worry about that No, just carry on Don't worry about that It's cryptozoological news

Oh, no I told you I know, they're great I love them Guys, you've got to go check out this website Cryptozoological news Okay, here's the sub-headline Under that fantastic headline

A New Jersey woman says A reptilian humanoid entered her house Paralyzed her And took her expensive watch With some sort of circular energy tool In a booth The anonymous woman Last Saturday

Said that she was watching television In her bedroom at 11.30pm When the being came in My bedroom door was closed My window was open about a foot or so She said about the About the encounter And with my light on

I reached over to pick up the remote And turn off the TV I saw this thing in the room With me just to my left At the bottom of my bed Well, hang on The door was shut The window was open

About a foot Suddenly appeared She went to switch off And then all of a sudden It was there At the bottom of her bed The door didn't open then No

Reportedly As she reached forward To grab the entity She's gonna grab it That's the first thing you do If you do see one Grab it She was paralyzed

What do you say? Hey! Hey, now this isn't on I've just gone to bed here The window's open, yes But the door is shut This is the final of the David Letterman show Don't you sneak up on me

In my finest hour In my nighty nights She says When she reached forward To grab the entity She was paralyzed And put back into the bed But she says

Her main concern Was her wristwatch Which she claims To wear at all times I remember saying Do not touch my watch Do not touch my watch Stories really take decent turns

I wear an expensive watch I always sleep with it on I was fighting to stay up And I was on the verge Of blacking out I'd argue If you had a reptilian in the room Grappling with you

You wouldn't be worried about the watch I wouldn't give a shit about it I would be I would Please take my watch That's what you want Take it We've got nice ones

You and I both got C Masters Amiga C Masters What sort of watch have you got? David? It's going for the wrist Nothing You use your phone Get an audio recording of my bezel

Clicking That is an amazing sound That's the quality Can you hear my auto-winding? Hang on, let's listen clearly I think I can hear something If I just listen to this My piece of shit

Watch is singing in people Anyway She says That the woman says That seconds later The creature lifted her arm And by using a mysterious tool She describes as being circular

And yellowish white light About an inch and a half thick Exhibiting an erratic Electric type of energy It took her watch off The immobilized limb Wow That's when she said

She was able to take a clear look At the intruder It was bending over me Looking at me at that moment I remember with excellent memory The being had very tight snake skin A yellow dominant with white And black accented colours

A snout with snake eyes So she was paralysed there the whole night 8.45 in the morning to work out And I I will interject at this point Reptilean, fair enough And I've actually suffered from Sleep paralysis myself

I've been paralysed in bed I've told you this story Yes Terrifying, right? Yeah And I was It was terrifying And that is often when

Alien visitors arrive Or closely linked to Abductee stories and things like that And when it happened to me I was Obviously terrified Because I felt that I was dead Inside my own body

And I couldn't escape Well, I was alive But my body was dead And I couldn't get out of it Did you see anything weird going on? Or was it just the paralysis? I was looking everywhere But I couldn't

I could only see with my eyeballs I couldn't move my head How long do you think? How long were you alive for? I felt like forever But it was probably About three minutes And I was scared

You thought that was it? You're out I was out But I was also scared That I was going to get these entities Wow And I didn't see anything And I wish I had of

There's a film at the moment That's just come out called The Nightmare And it's about It talks to a series of people And it recreates what they saw Wow And it's terrifying

Because the one stage is having that Where you just can't You can't move And that's awful But then when you start seeing a creature Wander in From the doorframe out to you And you can do nothing

And you're in the real world You're not in a dream world You're looking at your house That you're in So it's The Nightmare Apparently it's an amazing doco I'd love to see it Because I

I was calling out for help And I was We were in an attic And there was three other people Sleeping there with me And I called out For one of the people Sarah

Were they sleeping with you? I was getting someone to help me Like He yelled out Sarah, Sarah, help And nothing Nothing Because my mouth couldn't move

So Ah Ah Ah And I don't even know Whether it was coming Ordinarily it was coming out It was only going in my head

It was the weirdest stuff But I did not see a reptilian So I'm I'm jealous of that Have you still got your watch? I've still got my watch Thank God Wow

Buttons That was that story delivered Thank you I was doubting I don't know how you're going to top that With your ghost Cryptozoologicalnews.com I should have actually had a shit story

I mean do you want to dish The dirt on this ghost? Do you want to get a list of it? You might as well It's time It's the end of the show We've let you Get this far

Okay Well The tricky thing with this news Is that I've got proof That I'm going to have to show you later And share with our community A little bit later on And you're all going to have to give me your opinion

But I have effectively captured What I What I would say is an At least an orb Oh Right on camera Or a ghost

Okay On camera Okay Well Let's take place A couple of weeks ago I was broken into My garage was broken into

And they stole my chainsaws Wow Terrible Yeah, I heard about this Scarred And do you know what They also tried to steal? No

I didn't tell you this My cruxly record player That you gave me for my birthday They had a The bastard I know They had it lined up Ready to go

Respaught me a wonderful record player All the way from America To New Zealand Not an easy thing to do Smuggled it into the country And these guys tried to steal it Unbelievable And now the box

Has got silver paint all over it From the police trying to take The fingerprints Didn't find them Anyway, so I digress As I do Anyway

So I decided to Put cameras up And so I've got some I've got security cameras Security cameras Yep Good stuff And so

I put one inside My locked garage Two outside So that I'd catch The bug is coming down Yeah The driveway And then breaking in

If they did break into the Into the house Now Outside, the camera's outside That all the cameras Are motion detection, right? They'll trigger it off When something is

Moving in front of them Now When you look at What it has recorded Throughout the day It's generally Things that have moved Now the outdoor cameras

Catch trees That are waving They get You know If a cat walks past Or a possum Or what have you Been by

Mum wandering by Yep But So all that's fine Now the inside camera Never records anything Oh, because nothing's Happening in there

It's locked Oh, right Okay I look I just went down Had a little look At my little Video recorder

Playout thing And You see all these little Bars Of where it's recorded Throughout the day On the outside cameras And generally

Nothing On the Timeline For the inside camera This one day I went down One little bar Of

Green Signaling That it was triggered In the middle of the night On the inside camera This is actually quite Scary This is actually quite creepy

Yeah So I And I'm standing there Because the only reason What I'm looking at Is I'm showing My cousin You know

That he is interested About how I broke in So I showed him I was like Oh, this is interesting This is weird And I thought We were a rat

Or something And I click on it And I play And There is And right in front Of the camera Right

Dead smack In the middle Of the camera Is a perfect circle About Probably About hand width Wide

That just appears First of all The camera triggers Which is Weird enough Something must Move So something's triggered

And this perfect circle That just hovers there And moves ever Very slowly Across the room And then turns A perfect 90-degree Corner

And just very slowly Goes across the other side Oh, no Really If you look closely And I will Bring this up And I'll put it up

On our Facebook And I'll show you But there's Two other things That happen at the same time There's one little Shooting little thing Down the side

Of the camera And also Some weird Kind of Bit of light That is This thing comes along In turns

Shines up Against the back of the wall Wow That is weird Wow And obviously I can't shoot the footage right now Because I'm

Having trouble getting Off my hard drive But I'll show you guys But what do you think? I'm freaking out Because I don't believe In ghost normally It sounds intense

You know You don't need to put Into the ghost territory It could be Some sort of UFO Inside the shed Maybe But people talk about

These orbs That represent stars Sure A little bit of light Yeah Research On orbs And light movement

Because I mean Like I've seen something I've seen a ghostly Light And yeah Back in Edinburgh I've told you the story

When I did the show And it was There was a light Just a streak of whiteness Just And then I got the cold Down the

Back of my neck And like it Went right down Behind me And then disappeared And gave me this Eerie Kind of feeling

Of negativity Oh And And so I would be interested to see Yeah What the shape of this Was it a white

Was it light Light It was white But it's an infrared camera Did you feel an energy In there when you went in? Wow See

I have often Felt a little bit of Creepiness there The house Burnt down Apparently I know Oh

There we go Back in Before we Apparently Back in the day The house Burnt down I know

An hour and 20 minutes But I don't know If anybody died I love your storytelling I don't know if anybody Died But Yeah

Okay And then But another thing happened Inside the house So Okay You both know A family was murdered

A small family Of white circles Okay So A couple of A couple of weeks ago One had a mirror No

It is It's the only onion You're talking about From the munch punch He's not dead I haven't thought about The munch punch No

No The other day I put my Kids to bed You know where Amelie sleeps In that little Library little

Part The spooky little Ghost road Where you made me Sleep one night He made me sleep In his daughter's Bedroom

I don't even know Where she was Because she wasn't in there And I was in a little Girls' bed And I woke up And I was Hungover

Woke up the next morning You know, I was obviously Went in there drunk Woke up and there was Just ponies And pictures of Rainbows And little

No, you're forgetting The best part Wearing things On the wall And I freaked out The best part That you're beginning Is that right next door

My wife's 90 year old Grandparents And sleeping in the next room Grandma and granddad And they were Snoring And talking in their sleep

And I woke up At about 4 am to Mary real Probably able to fix the Cowshed And then It was so bad And it was like

It was the old And the Incredibly young And it was I was caught in the middle Of those two worlds It was that room Anyway

I walked past No, but get this Maybe I'm actually Only for the first time Wondering Maybe my house Is actually haunted Because

I Kissed my daughter Good night And said good night I came out Closed the door And closed it Just a little bit

Started walking away From the door And the door Swung open Slammed open Against the Against the Wall

That the door opens Against went And I was like Oh, I was a bit I was a bit taken back I was like Oh, that was weird And I walked in

And there's my daughter In her bed And I was like Did you Like, it would have been She would have had to Have slammed the door open And then run back into her bed

And pulled her covers on And laid very still And I was like I said Did you open that And she was kind of laughing Kind of going Yes

Oh, nothing worse than Children doing a little Evil laugh Five year old Five year old So you can't get any Creeping me out with all this I know so I'm creeping myself

And I've got to go and sleep In this house The whole burnt down house thing And you're rebuilt a house on that And you're moved in This is why we don't do ghosts Alright, well that's it for this week Thanks very much

Oh, I've got to go home Yeah, we all have to go home Thanks for listening Can you come and sleep At my place tonight Yes, as long as I'm in the little kids room It's not a problem Buttons, he's been buttons

Three, thank you guys No worries Oh, good night, good night Good trip, good night So, uh, good night Good night Good night Good night

The Quintet Factory With Rhys Darby And David Fadriar The Quintet Factory