The Cryptid Factor - 26: #026 The Sour Toe Issue
Episode Date: July 25, 2017Its another week, and its yet-again another CryptidFactor Episode! Prepare your ears for stolen drinking Toes, passport control blunders, another million dollar reward for Bigfoot and it's a slow week... for hacktivists. Enjoy!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber.
Oh, we are back.
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
We're really good at these intros.
It was a bit of a delay there.
I decided to go with a ho-ho.
I thought that would be a sort of Christmasy.
Yeah.
For no reason.
And then Buttons finally came in.
And then Dan.
Dan in the UK.
Hello from the UK.
Wow.
Oh my God, we're so international.
And Buttons and I are together in New Zealand,
which is a first for a while.
Isn't it weird?
Because last one was we were all together in LA.
And now, like, we are so global.
Yeah.
It's almost like we're doing it on purpose.
Let's split up.
OK, we've done.
This is boring.
Let's go to different places and see if it works.
Hey, can I tell you guys a thing I read about New Zealand today,
just while it's being talked about?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I read that in December of last year,
New Zealand tourist was detained by immigration in Kazakhstan
for two days because they didn't know that New Zealand was a country.
Oh my goodness.
Yeah, they thought she was lying.
They thought it was a part of Australia,
like a city of Australia.
And so when she had this separate passport,
they were like, you've made this up.
This isn't real.
That is amazing.
When did you say that was?
This was last year.
What?
Yeah, or like June, sometime last year.
And did you say Kazakhstan?
Kazakhstan?
Kazakhstan.
Because how dare they?
Of all the places, that's the most made up place.
The cheek.
The cheek.
I've never heard of them.
How dare they get me on the phone with that guy.
I'd like to see his passport.
How embarrassed would you be, though,
to be an official passport control person
and go, this is the fact, and then go and Google it
and go, is New Zealand an actual country?
Wow.
And then come back and have to go,
okay, you can go through.
Yeah, just Google it.
Just Google it.
Yeah, you were right.
It is.
It's part of the world.
Gosh, I mean, what sort of geography qualifications
do these guys need over there?
Well, to be fair, there's probably a great number
of people listening to this podcast going,
where is New Zealand?
Is that like some mythical,
like that's a made up place for the Lord of the Rings?
And I like the idea that we're a bit made up,
a bit mythical.
Possibly don't exist.
It fits in with the show.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Well, what a wonderful way to start.
It's bright and early here in New Zealand,
and we've just had bagels.
Dan, you're there in the UK.
It's your night time.
That's weird, isn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, drinking a wine.
Having a wine.
Oh, nice.
Well, we're having wines as well.
We're having bagels.
We're having bagels with our wines.
Actually, I've got a lovely flat white New Zealand's invention,
I believe, the flat white coffee.
Is it?
I thought that was...
Don't say it.
Don't you say it, Dan.
Don't even go there.
Don't say Australia came up with that,
because I will fight you to the death.
But yeah, you could be right.
I'm not sure.
There's one other one of us.
But I'm taking the glory here.
I'm a New Zealand spokesman.
I'm saying the flat white is a New Zealand thing.
You're a New Zealand spokesman.
Have you ever had a flat white?
It's the greatest coffee in the world.
If you've ever...
I mean, don't get one.
If you're listening in America, don't get one from Starbucks.
That's not...
Do they do flat whites?
They try to.
They've got it on the menu.
But people don't know what it is,
and then they try and make something,
and it's like, what's that?
I don't know.
Is that it?
That'll do.
It's not it.
It's not it.
Yeah.
Get one made for you by Kiwi or a Nozzi.
I don't push.
And it'll smash you.
So the cryptid factor,
I mean, we cover all of the hot topics of the week.
People at passport control have initiatives,
coffee, choices, and we're best to buy.
That's all we've got time for this week.
But, you know, keep getting weird, folks.
To be fair, it's been a dry week of news, isn't it?
We should have done a book review.
Travel spots.
With that, before we lose too many more, isn't it?
Shall we crack into the guts of it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Weekly World Weird News.
Crazy, freaky.
Watch out.
Well, what do we have this week?
Dan, what have you got on your side of the world?
Okay, I've got a headline that I came across.
It happened earlier this year.
It's to do with Britain,
and it's to do with a mystery.
It's regarding an ex-footballer
who's been receiving mysterious posts once a month
for the last 20 years.
I'll leave it at that for now.
What? That's interesting.
Wow.
Okay.
I'm intrigued.
I also have a mystery.
There's a Canadian hotel
who wants to get its hands on whoever stole their human toe.
Oh.
Yeah.
Intriguing, right?
That's awesome.
What?
Wait till you hear...
Oh, I can't wait now.
What the toe was used for.
I don't know that I want to know now.
I'm scared.
Okay.
Well, my one is,
Nessa is about to make a huge announcement about alien life
according to Hectivist Group.
I heard about this.
I'm excited about this,
although I'm skeptical.
I'm skeptical too,
but we can still cover it.
So, okay.
Well, then Dan, fill us in.
So, this is an ex-footballer in the UK called Gary Linnaker.
Oh, he's famous.
Yeah, well-famous.
Yeah, yeah.
Super big guy,
and he's a major commentator here now in the UK.
So, he revealed on Twitter a few months ago
that for the last 10 years,
for every month,
sorry, for the last 20 years,
every month he's received in the post
a single sheet of used toilet paper.
What?
What?
Yeah.
No.
How often?
Once a year?
No, once a month.
Once a month?
No, once a month for the last 20 years.
Someone from Bath in the UK,
because it has a sort of postal area code on the envelope,
has been sending him this one sheet of used toilet paper.
Now, the only reason we know this
is because on Twitter,
another famous commentator and former cricketer
called Jonathan Agnew also tweeted
that for the last 10 years,
he's been receiving a monthly sheet of used toilet paper.
No.
Yeah.
So, Gary Linnaker spotted his tweet
and said,
by any chance,
has it got a Bath postcode?
And he said,
yes, it does.
So, they may be getting sent from the same dirty toilet paper man.
That's so weird and freaky.
What a commitment.
Or lady, it could be lady.
Yeah.
I mean, it could be a lady,
but I would put money on that being a man.
That's a man.
Someone who's disgruntled with some football score
or some behaviour back in the day.
But also cricketer as well.
You say he was a former cricketer player as well.
Yeah.
I think with Jonathan Agnew, the cricketer,
I have a feeling there's something to do with
he pooed himself out on the field or something.
It's a kind of reminder for him, I think.
So, yeah.
Linnaker.
So weird.
Linnaker, no idea.
No idea what's going on.
That is so freaky.
What do you do about that?
I mean, you go to the cops.
What are they going to do?
I mean...
Well, they can trace mail.
They can find out where it's coming from, right?
Yeah.
Well, actually, earlier this year in Italy,
police actually tracked down another pair.
This is a completely separate story of a pair of poo
sending toilet paper criminals.
Yeah.
And the police tracked them down.
They sent thousands over two years
to just celebrities and all sorts of different people.
And they found it was a 71-year-old former policeman
and his partner.
Really?
Weird and his partner.
It's so weird.
They were using pet poo.
Oh, come on.
Yeah.
And they had...
When they busted the house,
they'd had 110 pre-packed envelopes ready to go.
Oh, come on.
They've turned it into a factory.
This is amazing.
Oh, no, this is so weird.
Rhys, what would you do if somebody started doing that to you?
What do you do if you start...
Once a month, you start going,
no, here it is again.
Well, here's the thing.
Here's the thing.
You would recognise the envelope when it came
with the handwriting or whatever.
Like they said,
the postage stamp was from a bath or whatever.
So as soon as you got another one,
you'd just start straight in the bin.
I mean, you wouldn't.
You'd know what it was.
See, I would argue.
You'd open the first one or two.
Maybe the third just...
Oh, no, it's still the same thing.
Still poos.
Still poos.
No change.
Oh, I thought it might be money.
Yeah.
I would argue...
It would affect you psychologically, though.
Yeah, I would argue, though,
that if you kept one envelope of pooey toilet paper
a month for 20 years
and you kept every one of them
and cataloged them all an amazing box
that, like one of these sports celebrities
would be able to sell that.
Like that would be amazing.
Oh, yeah.
Imagine that as a collector's item.
Oh, yeah.
You know, like people pay so much for sports mirror bill.
Yeah.
And imagine if one of these, you know,
sort of former sports celebrities went,
here you go, here is my massive trough
of pooey toilet paper things
that have been coming for the last 20 years.
I mean, it's actually an amazing art piece.
Yeah.
He should have been collecting them.
Well, he may be.
Well, he may be.
That's contact.
Yeah, I think it's definitely worth
not only investigating, obviously,
to find the culprit,
but to document the whole thing
and film finding this guy.
I mean, I would watch that doco on Netflix,
you know, the shit senders.
Shit senders.
Shit senders.
So keeping in line with human weirdness,
we have a stolen human toe situation
going on in Canada.
Yeah, a hotel in Canada's Yukon territory,
we're familiar with the Yukon.
That's right up the north there.
Very vast, very bizarre,
very northern part of Canada.
Chile, you know, amazing animals.
Yeah.
They want to conduct a manhunt
for a person who stole a human toe.
Now, not just any toe.
Okay, this is a toe
that the downtown hotel in Dawson City
uses in its signature drink,
the sour toe cocktail.
What?
Wow.
Yeah.
People come from all over the world
to try this drink,
which is basically a shot of whiskey
with a dehydrated toe in it.
Oh, come on.
Yeah.
Now, just to give you a brief history
of this toe drink,
I'm going to play this video here
so you guys can hear the audio.
My name is Captain Al Seder
at the Sourdough Saloon
in downtown Dawson City.
I do have a special talent
for putting a severed human toe
in people's drinks.
It started
by this man,
Captain Dick Stevenson.
It became a way for
people who would visit Dawson
to become an honorary sourdough.
It's not mandatory,
but hey, it's a lot of fun.
I'm about to take a nice little cocktail here,
and I'm going to put Yukon Jack
and a little bit of a toe in there.
Add some spice.
There it is.
Congratulations, Roger.
Thank you.
Welcome to the club.
Okay, a lot of the art,
a lot of this video is music.
But anyway,
just a long story short,
basically there's this old guy.
His name is...
I'm struggling to find it on here now.
It's very early in the morning here.
It's very early in the morning.
I'm just going to read what it says here.
Yeah, here we are.
Furious, Terry Lee,
the hotel's toe captain, said,
Lee suspects a man from Quebec
in the toe theft.
Earlier in the evening,
the man allegedly bragged about
possibly stealing the toe.
The guy asked...
So this guy asked to do the toe
after the 9 to 11 p.m.
toe time hours.
So that's when you're supposed to do the toe drink.
Any time between 9 to 11.
So basically, yeah, it's a shriveled up severed toe.
It's dropped in a glass of whiskey
and you basically skull it.
Now, of course, you don't swallow the toe.
Because there's only one severed toe.
And there's one rule about drinking this concoction.
You can drink it fast or you can drink it slow.
But your lips must touch the toe.
So that's, you know,
you can see why people are coming from all over the world
for this novelty idea of having a shot
or something with someone's old toe in it.
I mean, it's gross, obviously, but it's wonderful as well.
It's one of the wonders of the world.
Yeah, I've done it. I've done the toe type thing.
It's probably the best Instagram you could ever send, right?
Yeah, so this chap wanted to do the toe.
But he wanted to do it outside of toe hours.
And one of the new staff served it to him to be nice.
You know, he probably shouldn't have.
And I bet you that staff member's been fired.
But because now the toe's gone.
This is how he pays her back.
What a low life.
Not a toe life.
So that customer has taken off
and the hotel plans to find this thief
$2,500 unless the toe is returned.
Wow.
So there's a reward out there for this missing, severed,
shriveled toe.
So if you are in the Yukon area
or if you've heard of someone who's just said,
hey, you know that famous toe from that drink?
I've got it.
Well, then go along with it and I'll give a look at it
and then actually take it.
Grab it.
Punch that guy in the head and return the toe, please,
if you can, to the downtown hotel in Dawson City in the Yukon
so that the sour toe cocktail, ladies and gentlemen,
can continue because I, for one, want to try it.
Where does the old toe come from?
You want some history on that old, grotty old toe?
Yeah, I want to know about the old toe
because I want to know
because generally, toes come in pairs, right?
So why don't they just sever off the other one
and start dehydrating that one?
Well, the...
What do you mean they come on pairs?
Whoa, you can't.
Yeah, I was confused by that.
Can I have a look at your toes, please?
Buttons only has two toes on each feet.
No, you know what I mean, there's two big toes
and then there's two toes next to it
if it was a big toe.
This might have been a problem
which maybe is why they've specified
that it specifically is a second toe,
the one next to the big toe
because maybe people like yourself
were finding loose big toes and bringing them back
thinking you're going to claim the reward
and actually it's the second toe.
Some disparate guys might cut off their own big toe,
shrivel it up and take it back there
for the two and a half grand.
Well, now all the other bars in the world
are going to be doing it, aren't they?
They're going to be like, well, we've got the toe
and who's going to know who's got the real toe
and they'll say, no, we bought it, we bought the toe
and we've got it and you've got to come and try
and it's just all these imitation toes.
This is what happens with religious relics all the time.
Oh, yeah.
There's tons of, you know,
bits of all sorts of saints
and Jesus and Jesus's relatives
as a result of this kind of thing.
It goes missing and then people say, now we have it
and so I think Jesus's grandmother
has about seven heads around the world at the moment
while claiming.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, if you find a bit of civvied something
and keep it in a jar, you've got a gold mine there.
You know what, I just had an idea
of opening a bar that just has a whole bunch
of civvied weird stuff
and you just say, like, can I have a whiskey
with a, you know, civvied...
Goat's eyeball. Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it's pretty gross
but it's, you know, you could be onto a winner there.
This is just, you know, this is the tip of the iceberg
this civvied toe drink. It is.
He started a thing and now that we've reported on it
everybody's going to want to have a hoon on it.
I think now everyone knows. Yeah.
And then the other thing is that potentially
what happened is that person was like,
oh, I have to, I was thinking that you were going to say
that the toe, one of the rules is that
the toe must not touch the lips.
And then maybe this person was like,
uh, freaked out at the part was going to touch the lips,
went to scream, opened their mouth,
toe went in and they freaked out and they're like,
oh god, I swallowed the toe and then they legged it.
Yeah. I don't think this is the original toe, by the way.
This is like the second toe from this institution.
This hotel does the drink.
The original toe, when Terry Lee came across,
he perched this old shack in the middle of nowhere in the Yukon
and it came with all the stuff that was inside it.
If you go to this Google the site
and watch the history of the toe video,
you'll find out about it.
And when he got this old shack, the severed toe was in it.
It was part of the stuff that was in it.
So he was like, what am I going to do with this shriveled toe?
I see nobody even knows where this toe came from.
I think there is the story about the toe.
But I can't recall it right now.
I'm not going to pull it up.
But all I know is that the toe captain, as he's called,
this old sea hearty looking guy.
Yeah, that's how we came across it.
So I think the original toe was swallowed.
Yeah, but we believe that this latest toe was swiped.
The replica toe.
But you are asking for trouble.
You're doing a shot drink and you're saying,
don't swallow the thing.
It's going to be pretty hard.
People are already a bit drunk when they do it.
Of course.
How many times have you swallowed?
That's when you're not supposed to.
Let's move on.
What have you got?
Let's definitely move on from that.
Oh, my God.
OK, well, from toes to space.
Oh, good.
So hacktivist group anonymous,
which is to be fair for a hacktivist group,
very, very reputable, right?
They've done some amazing things.
Just to be clear, so it's an hacktivist group that hacks.
Yeah.
And so they've made up that word hacktivist.
Hacktivist.
Just to make the listeners clear.
Yeah, that's right.
Just so in case you didn't.
It's clever, isn't it?
It's clever.
Just in case you haven't been alive.
So the hacktivist.
Hacktivist.
And they do that because obviously they use their hacking
powers for the good of being able to.
Yeah, reveal truth to the world.
Reveal truth.
That's right.
And they've done things with, you know,
they reveal stuff about the Westboro Baptist Church
and Donald Trump and ISIS and all that kind of stuff.
Anyway, in its latest YouTube video,
I'll give you in a second.
Anonymous states that a NASA spokesperson
called Professor Thomas Zabrucken told a recent
US Science, Space and Technology Committee meeting
that extraterrestrial life could soon be proven.
Wow.
I know.
And so he's quoted as saying,
our civilization is on the verge of discovering
evidence of alien life in our cosmos.
And taking into account all of the different activities
and missions that are searching for alien life,
we are on the verge of making one of the most profound
unprecedented discoveries in history.
That's the one we're waiting for.
I know.
Literally why I'm alive.
I'm waiting for the announcement.
But the interesting thing is so many people
have said that, right?
And it doesn't sound like much of a headline
because so many people have said,
oh, we're going to find out soon.
There's been movies about it.
Proof is on the way.
It's not far.
It's been in at 12 PM on Wednesday.
They've generally...
Just an ad for Subway.
Exactly.
Well, they...
Sorry, but the footlongs are on special.
Gotcha.
That was an alien.
Alien aliens like him.
More truth revealed on Thursday.
You should be in marketing.
That's a genius idea.
Yeah, but this is from NASA.
You've got to understand this is NASA
saying to space and science.
Yeah.
Can that's just NASA?
It's not hack NASA or anything like that?
Or HESA?
HESA.
It's simply NASA.
But it says, obviously, this is speculation
at present.
There's no evidence,
at least none that we know of.
But it proves that NASA
is right in there,
you know, that they are believers as well,
that they themselves
believe that we are closer than ever now
to proving alien life.
And just last week, NASA
discovered 219
new planets, 10 of which are rocky
planets, and
possibly not that too dissimilar
to Earth, which could
house extraterrestrial life as well.
So here's
this little segment of
the hacktivist
video here.
NASA Mankind is about
to discover extraterrestrial life.
This was stated by the spokesman of the
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
during one of the last hearings
of the Committee for Science, Space
and Technology of the United States.
Are you ready for disclosure?
Or are you expecting little micro-organisms
on a distant moon in our solar system?
There are many who claim that
unofficially, mankind has already
made contact with aliens,
and not just little micro-organism
floating around inside a massive
alien ocean, but advanced
space-faring civilizations.
25 years ago,
we didn't know that planets existed
beyond our solar system.
Today, we have confirmed the existence
of over 3,400
dexoplanets that orbit other
suns.
Alright, man, I'm going to stop you there.
That is fantastic. Thank you.
Thanks for that news.
Just a couple of things.
I think, you know, when you're revealing
astonishing
news items,
you know, maybe have a bit of
intonation in your voice.
Maybe sort of make it more exciting
so that people don't switch off.
I mean, that's why I'm hired
often as a voice artist, because I can go,
did you know that it's going to be amazing?
And you go, watch out, because you never know,
because these things could happen.
You know, that's exciting.
When you talk like this, and don't you know
that when they do this, there are
different planets that are going to be
inside of us. We will find
that there is alien bugs
dust. That's the
Hectivist Group calling card. We're in a
mask, so you can't see who they are.
Right, it is. They do it every time. It's so boring.
It's so boring.
But man, every announcement. Also, it feels like
a bit of a slow week for Anonymous if they're talking
about the idea of maybe
someone's going to find some evidence
of alien life.
They keep announcing these things, but there's
no, I'd love to know
the hit rate of things that actually they
do, and is revealed to be true.
Because it's a lot of threats.
Yeah, it could be their fallback position.
So we haven't got anything this week. Let's do
aliens. Do we have any updates on that?
Well, we can talk
about how there's 219 planets
similar to Earth in the Goldilocks
Zone, and there's bound to be some aliens.
Chuck NASA in there. Do the voice.
Okay, I will do the voice.
They'll go for it. I think that's the thing.
They're anonymous.
I think all of them have to talk in that voice
to each other, so the meetings last for hours
to try to get a conversation.
Stephen Hawking is the CEO of Anonymous.
I will join this group, but you all
have to talk like me.
Did you guys see that there's other
news from a NASA-related guy
who's, he's an aerospace
mogul. So he's a billionaire
who works with NASA, and he was
interviewed at the end of May
on 60 minutes, and he was asked
does he believe that UFOs have come to Earth?
So this is a guy who's very closely
associated with NASA and development
of stuff that they're doing.
Oh yeah. And he said, this is a quote,
he says, there has been and
is an existing presence,
an ET presence. I have
spent millions and millions and millions.
I probably spent more as an individual than
anyone else in the United States has ever spent
on this subject. And they said,
is this risky for you to be in public
saying this, that you believe in UFOs
and aliens? And he said, I don't give a
damn, I don't care.
So he has outright said
that he believes that there is an ET
presence already on Earth existing
and has been existing.
It's astonishing, and I mean, what do
you guys think? Do you
think that's true? Do you think
they're here? I mean, it's
pretty obvious that
these things are real, UFOs are real,
people have seen them. I've seen
things up in the sky that I can't explain.
But when
you take it to that next level and say
they are amongst us and they are
either
disguised or hidden or working
with governments, I mean,
that's taking that extra leap of
faith or belief. But
I mean, you know, where do
you guys stand? I mean, I really,
I just don't know. I want to
believe, but I worry.
I do, because, you know, obviously
it's exciting, and I think when you
think about... He's just trying to get to telling
us that you've been on X-Files again.
This is actually
contracted to use that line now. Reminds me
of that time I was on X-Files.
Yeah, I mean,
it just, it makes sense, but
I mean, if that's true, then
where are we going with them? When
are they going to reveal? I mean, I would
love for
the world now to be mature enough
to go, okay, let's tell everyone.
Here they are,
and a curtain opens and these, you know,
slightly odd looking, still
pretty humanistic looking, but
maybe, you know, their eyes are
slightly bigger or something like that come out and go,
hi, well, yeah, I'm just working with
George and Mike here.
I've been running a delicatessen
on the corner for the last 30 years.
I mean, would
that, when I would change, I think
they're worried that it would change
the global
mindset of humans
so much that
our world would implode
because of religion and everything,
nothing makes sense anymore, but that is,
we need to get to that truth point so that we
can move on
and go forward from here.
Well, the thing
that brings me back to my thing is that if
there are area
51s and, you know, these
kind of secret zones for the government
because they know something more than
the normal human knows,
there must be a bigger reason why they're
keeping it secret, which brings me back to my
theory about aliens being
time travelers from the future because
that's a much bigger reason
to keep aliens
secret. But therefore,
you're saying not really aliens, it's just
it is just us. Time travelers.
So you're involved humans.
Because what would be worse,
I mean, I want there to be aliens and I want
to believe as well.
But if you think about it,
if they
needed to keep a secret, which is a bigger
secret to keep, that people in the future
have worked out the ability to be able to
time travel and they come back and they look like
us little humans, but with bigger eyes
and no hair because that's how we've
evolved into that.
Or that
there is extraterrestrial life in that
they're coming. I mean, for me,
that would be a really brilliant reason
for the government to set up
an area for time travelers to come
back to. That's
top secret. I read a book buttons
that I should send to you.
It's called Who Built the Moon
and
and it's really, it's, you know, I love
these theories when someone's
put together a theory that's just
covered at every corner and this is
this is one of those where
they talk about the fact that the moon
is so improbable, so improbable
the way it's positioned
the size of it. It shouldn't be there.
Life depends entirely on it and
I think it was
Ian M. Banks, he wrote a
novel which he said that if
we ever did get visited by
aliens, they would probably come
just as tourists to watch
an eclipse because how
extraordinary that the moon and the sun are the
same size in the sky
that just doesn't happen anywhere.
So true. You would come
to watch an eclipse. What an extraordinary
coincidence. So they built this
idea that the moon is
artificial because NASA
released this thing a long time ago. I don't know
how true it is, but they said that if
you hit the moon, it rings like a bell
suggesting it's hollow. I've heard that.
Yeah. So the idea that it's hollow.
So they write this whole book where they're talking about
the fact that the moon is artificial and then they say
well who built the moon and they conclude
on the idea, it's a bit of a spoiler alert
that it was
evolved advanced humans who
had to travel back in time in order to create
the moon in order that they existed
all. So it's this weird time paradox
that future humans
created past humans
and I don't know how that loop can begin
but I love that shit.
I'm so, I love that.
I love what that does to my brain. I'm like wow
that is genius. I've never
seen your eyes looking so fresh
but it's actually
yeah. You breathe life
into my soul. Yeah, he looks magical.
Oh no, it's died back down.
It's just gone to the normal. It's gone. It was a good
moment though. Yeah, it was good.
Yeah, I've always thought that I'm
a keen believer in the
alien moon bases as well
because there has been these
Chinese satellite
photographs
of structures on the moon that definitely
look man-made
you know, don't look natural.
And then there's the theories of
why we haven't been back
after the
those NASA missions
and I'm looking forward to another nation
like China or
Russia and actually getting there
and
having a look for themselves. I'm sure NASA
will pass on some information. I actually don't
go because yeah, it's
made of metal.
Well, it's not cheese. I thought it was cheese.
No, it's not.
There was more of a joke, the cheese
there. Oh, I was like, oh,
that's why we've got the whole New Zealand dairy
manufacturing system.
We built a rocket
to collect cheese.
Well, I do pick up on the fact that
you said either Russia or
China getting there, but it could be New Zealand.
We've made our own rocket.
Yeah, we could be there next.
We have entered the space race.
Yeah, we have.
I don't think Australia.
I'm just checking my Google here. I don't know
whether Australia has.
I think we've invented a beer
that can be taken up to
the international space.
I think that's literally all the Aussies.
Well, I think that's cool because the rocket
we've made probably is big enough
to hold a beer.
With our powers
combined. I think we could put your beer
into our rocket, maybe
tape it to the side
and shoot that up and that'll be
the South Pacific's contribution.
Genius.
We've got 25 minutes left
before Rhys has to go
and do some important media
engagements. He's very important.
He probably needs to tell you about
his upcoming tour.
One of the reasons I agreed to do this podcast
today was just to
promote my tour.
By the time this podcast comes out,
the tour could well be over.
I will say it went very well.
I toured New Zealand
and I also
did some dates in Australia
with my new show Mystic
Timebird.
Very happy
with how it went.
I'm very nervous.
I've written nothing.
It went well.
It went very well.
Talk about time travel.
I do it all the time.
I do it now.
It's amazing.
Let's do some cryptozoology.
Here we go.
Attention. Old personnel.
It's time for this week's cryptid.
Help me.
Let's do it in the same order.
I've got a story here. This is quite exciting.
A million dollar bounty
for Bigfoot
has been issued
by a man in Pennsylvania
who
is known as the godfather of Bigfoot
in Pennsylvania.
Tom Biscardi.
We know this guy.
Tom Biscardi.
He's legendary.
He's classic.
Every story needs a villain.
A bad guy.
He's money hungry.
He's not a popular Bigfooter
as far as I can see.
I'm surprised I hadn't heard his name before
and you guys obviously had.
The shocking thing for me is
you don't want to hunt Bigfoot.
This guy looks like
he's wanted dead or alive Bigfoot.
I may be misquoting him.
I apologize if I am
because he sounds very rich
and can financially ruin me.
He's
put a one million dollar bounty
for information leading to the
capture or delivery
of a bona fide Bigfoot.
That's just happened.
It sounds like to me
because this guy's been around for a long time
and he
I think he's got to the point now
where he's had enough.
I need to see this thing.
I need to know whether it's real or not.
I'm putting a million bucks on the table.
Please, someone
bring me the body.
Once it is done
he'll get the fame from it.
Someone will get a million bucks.
If he has a million bucks
I don't know about that
but if he does
it's one thing.
That's an invitation
to so many
hunters
and it's quite scary.
We don't want that to happen
and of course
the forest region
that these things live in
I think there is
you can hunt at certain times of the year
in these parts of the
Sierra Forest.
The thing that makes me
think about a movie that we reviewed
years ago on the Cryptid Factor
and it has
in it David Rash
and I don't know if you remember David Rash
he was Sledgehammer.
He did this amazing
Crypta Bigfoot movie
and I'm just looking up
his IMDB because I can't actually remember the name of it
but I will just play
you this little quick
thing that I remember editing
way back when I was a little boy
which is a little
segment of his quote
which is a brilliant quote
for the movie
cut to the wonderful
theme tune to his TV show
Sledgehammer. Here you go.
Wait a minute.
What's a joke?
You don't think that Bigfoot really exists?
I have a little trouble accepting.
Accepting what?
That there are over two million
acres of uncharted wilderness
in the Northwest?
That there are conceivably animals on this planet
that are as yet undiscovered by man?
What about the bones?
He wants to know about the bones.
Let me tell you about the bones. You really don't have to.
No, I want to.
Did you know the scientists
believe that they buried their
dead just like humans?
Do you have trouble accepting the fact
that there are thousands of bears in the wilderness?
And yet last year
not one bear was found
that died of natural causes.
Not one!
Trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
This case also reminds me
of that old adage
which I could be just making up now
on the spot, but
those that seek
the hardest
or will never find.
And I think that's the case of
you look at these guys that
Percy Fossett who wanted to find
El Dorado
David Livingston
people that are searching
and searching King Solomon's
minds, these things, and
they spend their whole life
and there's some biblical explorers
looking for tablets
and the Moses Mountain
although I think that one has
been discovered, but I think
and also those searching for the Holy Grail
obviously is the big one
and
they don't
get there. And I think
when people find something, it's often
they come across it by mistake
or
you hear more readily
that fantastical things
are discovered
just through sheer
earnest curiosity
and also through
mishap.
And this guy, he's got money
and he's going, I'm just going to offer this award
and it's
not going to happen.
He sounds desperate.
He says, I want a creature
I'm done with pictures, done with prints, done with
hair samples, done with fecal matter.
So he's obviously
done with it all and he's not getting
younger. Done with fecal matter.
So that movie was
Bigfoot, The Unforgettable Encounter
from 1994
which basically on IMDb
was great, gets
four out of ten
on IMDb and it says
A solid four? A solid four?
A boy's discovery of a legendary forest creature
results in a media
frenzy and the arrival
of bounty hunters.
So it's a great movie to watch if you're into
your crypto movies
but that is basically
that depicts, it's almost like
perfect depiction
of our guy
and I've got to say
what's that going to do, a million
dollars? I mean, you know, like that's
you know.
Well you can buy a good Tesla for that but look
we talk about
desperation
of the hunt
and you really want something
I mean, you know
the same
can't be said for
life in terms of
if you really want something in life
if you work hard you can get out there and get it
but
when it's something that is of a mystical
quality
I think there you're
pushing shit uphill
Yes, Indiana Jones found
Holy Grail but
let's not forget that was a fictional
story.
And also he didn't believe in it
Yeah, true. No, he didn't believe
he was going to find it. Yeah, exactly. So if you take it
that way, yeah, he didn't think he was going to find it
so I think that's the key.
Well also just
make sure you're staying aware in the moments
where you're not desperately looking for it.
Last year there was a team
of researchers last year in Australia who
were searching for Aboriginal
evidence in
a certain bit of Australia and
they pulled over because one needed a piss
and he went over and he had a pee
and he looked down and noticed he was
peeing into
this clearly occupied
ancient cave and it turned out to be the
oldest example of an Australian Aboriginal
habitat
home that we found so far
it was completely unexpected
and he was pissing on it
he was literally pissing
and I spoke to an explorer
in Venezuela, I don't know if he's
lying or if he's
telling the truth but
and he's the guy very similar to Biscari
here, he's had
a character based on him in a movie which
is the explorer in the movie Up
in the Pixar movie.
And he was out in
because he lives in Venezuela, he was out in the forest
and he had a poo
and he said he looked down in between his legs
just to make sure nothing was going to bite him
he was having a poo and he saw
glistening gold and
he claims he's now found
Eldorado while having a poo
like he wasn't looking for his
he wasn't looking for the city. Well talking about
coming across things
by mistake or
in your travels as opposed to
you know on a purposeful
seek
as we discussed earlier
in South Africa
some footage has been revealed
it's about three minutes long and it shows
a pack of dogs and a human-like
figure running along on four
legs with the dogs
so you know people putting out
the term dogman
and dogman
is, this is on
cryptozoologynews.com
dogman is a cryptid
reputed to live in the northwestern
quadrant of Michigan's lower
peninsula although other
sightings have been reported in different locations
such as Kentucky
so it makes absolutely no sense that
this dogman of course is in
South Africa so it's
a different dogman
and it is clearly a human
on four legs
but what I was astonished
with
is how
freaky and how easily
this human gets about on four
legs and
just the general movement and
the gate of the movement
is sort of
off-putting when you look at it and you know this car
has just come alongside the road and just someone's
just filmed this and so I'll show the video
you guys want to have a look at the video
at the same time and we'll have a quick
discuss of it here so push play
now
are you watching it Dan?
Yeah, I am, yeah.
So there's a car driving along
So he knows he's
seen something? Yeah and then he's pulling
it up now
and you can see it
over in the distance and I think it's because of this
distance that you're looking at it
it does look, it looks
weird
and you can see there's other, it looks like
a human crawling
on all fours. Yeah, which
isn't easy to do
anyone can do it but it's not
a comfortable thing but then you watch
that's definitely not
faked either as well
it gets better
as the car reverses here
and
they have a lock. Oh they're brave people
Well brave
but also you can, it's a dude
on four legs, it's kind of like
I'll check this out but just the movement
this movement here is really good
it looks like a horse. Yeah
so it's trotting
really well. Do you think
it's something like Tarzan
being raised by the
animals? Well it does
come across that way
more movement
coming up that
is equally off-putting
you know it's just
part of this horse pack or this dog pack
because also you can't tell
what the person's sort of wearing or whatever
and it just looks
it looks like a freaky animal. See look there
the movement's really good there look
it's just walking along
Oh that is definitely the freakiest
video I have seen in a long time
Yeah that's really weird. Yeah
when I first saw it. See look there it's quite good
Oh my god
No you couldn't
you couldn't face that either
No the movement there is
so natural. But it's three minutes
worth of video as well. If I was to try and do that
you might be able to do it
for 20 seconds faking it
but this is clearly how
this animal
gets around. This is
it's natural. It looks like
it couldn't even stand up. It looks like
if I was to try and stand up and walk
bipedally
it looks like it wouldn't be able to do it because it's whole
back and everything is all arched
in a way that is
wow that's amazing.
Definitely go and watch it and hit us up on
Facebook if you give us your theories on that
because that's... Well you can
but also if you
read the article there's a reveal
there's a reveal just below
there's another video
of what appears to be the same
you say animal
there's a person. Philip, his name is
19 years old
but get this
his surname is Oliphant
Philip Oliphant. So if you had that as a surname
you'd think, yeah I'm gonna... Is that
how he just decides to get around?
Well he claims to love dogs, he loves dogs
and it's made him behave just like them
so
there's another video here
it's still freaky
but look there he is again
there he is
just on the streets
but he has like baked bean cans
or something on the end of his
leg, the end of his arm
so it makes them longer
so I think he's just done this
he's been doing this his whole life and
he's sitting down like a dog
so his friends are filming
If you knew this, why wasn't your
article video of Philip
pretending to be a dog?
No because I wanted to take you through the
weirdness of it
and you know I'm not saying
definitely this is Philip again
but if it is, Philip please
contact us
Well he's very impressive
Philip is very impre...
like it's not... I don't know that it
deserves to be then in cryptozoological
news
but
thanks for your
story
5 minutes
well this will lead us to
Mystic Timebird
throughout New Zealand
19 different towns
my very quick story
you have things still playing video
still Philip
still everybody's laughing at Philip
there you go
here's my story
Pennsylvania man says
8 white humanoids are killing
wildlife and troops
ok so this isn't Bradford in Pennsylvania
and
this resident of Bradford
is asking for help
dealing with these unusual creatures
this man
has said that
he sees these creatures
24-7 they are living
in the higher parts of pine trees
and he says that
these 8 white creatures
are able to blend in with trees
and like a chameleon
as easy as that
they just blend into a tree
they become one with the trees
their hands and the trees become rooted
together
when they rest he explains
he says he's afraid of going and
investigating on his own
because he is seeing dead animals in the area
he said I
saw some of our troop
dead over there
and I'm afraid to go there by myself
when they say troop
whether or not he means military personnel
or maybe he meant
coop, you know like chickens
but
but he said he's definitely
seeing dead animals and he's quite freaked out
he says this is no joke
he says somebody needs to come and take a look
and help him
he hasn't got any video evidence
or anything like that unfortunately
I did read this article and go it just sounds like
he's on drugs
but in late 2016
two people from Arizona
claimed to have been chased by a group
of humanoids that looked
very similar to the way he's describing these ones
in the summer of 1955
a family of
in Hobsonville, Kentucky
reported to have suffered a similar
experience on a rural farmhouse
and in 2015
a man in Connecticut said
his backyard had been taken over
by a group of humanoids
that he claimed to be living in pine trees
oh wow
this is the first I've heard of
these kind of tree dwelling
humanoid
creatures
but I did think that
as we've only got a couple of minutes left
I thought that another great piece of
audio that we haven't played in a long time
which relates beautifully
to this is our 911 call
should we play our 911 call out
because you haven't heard this have you Dan
no I haven't
okay well let's play that actually play that for legit
now because this is freaking amazing
we like this because we
we used to play this quite a bit back in the day
I mean let's not forget this show's been around
since 2008
and when we
started in a radio
studio we had
access to
far more computer sound
by situations than we do now with
our old
sticker laden laptops
on a crappy desk
and buttons
beach house
but you know
the mood
and the wonder is still there
can I say one more thing
before we go here we go
breaking news I just did
a bit of googling
the stolen toe
from sour toe cocktail
has been returned
this is our first ever breaking news
on the crypto
that's like a
real live update
it's been
returned with an apology note
and it's in a satisfactory condition
and it's going to head right back into
it's a time slot for
sour toe cocktails
excellent and that has happened during our
show so obviously because this goes out live
so the people have heard
my call for it and someone
someone
listening to the cryptid factor
has gone you know what I love these guys
I can't do this any I'm dishonest
I've taken the toe
I'm going to return it so thank you
whoever that was
I feel I feel
this is great I feel like we've really done something
our last
eight years of podcasting has all
amounted to this we've made an effect
on the world a positive effect the toe has
returned hey and well done
for toeing the line
here's a no one one call
see you later dad
see you next week bye
love you
I didn't see any cars all I saw was my dog
coming over the fence
911 what are you reporting
we got someone or something
crawling around out here
did you see what it was
was it a person or an animal or
I can't tell all I know is that my
center light came on and I just happened to
glance and see this thing running across the yard
a good sized man
or something looks like a man I don't know what it was
just it ran across the yard
okay you've had problems in the neighborhood
before yeah my dog was killed here
just recently I don't know what it was
whatever it is just running I couldn't catch it
if I was going to chase it so whatever it was
it was standing up I'm out here looking
through the window now and I don't see anything
I don't want to go outside
Jesus Christ you better
come on see him
hello
get somebody out here what's going on now sir
that son of a bitch is about six foot
nine I don't know do you see him now sir
yes I'm looking right at him
hello
okay hang on
he's right
is he in your yard sir
yeah he's big
okay what's he doing in your yard
he's looking at me
and the guy is on foot
I don't know it's a big
real big person that's all I can say
okay but it is a
it is a person
yeah I'd say it was a person
somebody really big
white male did you actually see what
or was he just wearing black
he's all black and he's big
he is big
you