The Cryptid Factor - 50: #050 The Fifty Issue

Episode Date: October 5, 2020

Guys! We made it halfway to a century! To celebrate, Dan helps the us rise in the rankings, Rhys starts modeling, and Buttons sneaks in super star special guest BENEE! You'll also find swearing parrots, a Nessie the size of a bus and the shape of a log, a Yowie poo on a termite mound, board games played with the dead and a Rat metal detector who gets a medal. Yay!

The Cryptid Factor, with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber. And we're back! And guess what? It's our 50th episode! And we're doing so well. Look at you, Buttons. It looks like you've left home and you're now living in your car. It's been a tough 50 episodes, guys. It's just I've lasted my money all around at number 49. I've been kicked out of home. I'm in the car. But I'm happy. I'm happy. 50 episodes. I know. That's half a century. We are still podcasting almost weekly. I mean, you wouldn't know. It's pretty much coming out every week. Yeah, I'm going to upload one today. If I...

If you get round to it. That's awesome. That's the term. Get round to it. Well, now, if I have an opening in my schedule, I've got a very busy schedule, guys. I've got all these things to do. Yeah, what's going on? Yeah, tell us, where are you? Well, because, see, this is the thing I'm working today because we're recording this on a Monday in New Zealand and I do actually sometimes have to work.

Right, of course. Sometimes. And so it's Monday morning and in a couple of hours, I'm filming a top secret project. Oh, really? It's exciting, eh? What is it? Are you not allowed to say who it is? Okay, I'll tell you who it is then. No one listens to this podcast.

We can't even say that anymore. We're recording a music video for New Zealand superstar, Benny. Oh, that is awesome. I love Benny. We love Benny. Oh, yeah. Super Lonely. That's her song. If anyone listening hasn't heard it, check out Super Lonely. It's awesome.

She's like New Zealand's Bjork. That's how I see her. She's got the quirky awesomeness of Bjork and the music quirk as well. You know, she is so down to earth and she has an awesome personality. She's a cool musician and you and I got to see one of her concerts, didn't we? Where were we when you dragged me along? Did you? Yeah, we were the oldest people in the crowd, but we were at the back. Didn't someone come up and thought, they said, hey, which one of you is there as her dad?

And I said, wait, I'm not old enough to... I'm a big fan, what are you talking about? And then we yelled out, Benny, we're here to pick you up. Don't forget. You weren't there when we came round the back, so we've had to come through. Oh, don't get embarrassed. Come on. Put those things down. It's getting after 11 now. You've got school in the morning, remember?

You haven't done your homework. My two dads. My buddy went to a gig in Canada to see the Wu-Tang Clan and Rowan Atkinson was in the crowd. What? And just no one could understand why Mr. Bean was at a Wu-Tang gig. Oh, that is awesome. But he was there, yeah. Well, I tell you what, guys, it's been a long time since we've done one, but today if I get the chance,

I'm going to try and do a well-known, unknown word. Oh, please do. With Benny. Yeah. That would be amazing, yeah. Yeah. And if not, then at least I tried. Yeah.

And it's out there now. So if it's not... Listeners, if it doesn't appear in this or next week's episode, you know that he didn't do it. That'll be telling proof. Yeah. Well, the other news, I guess, is that I'm out of quarantine. I've done my two weeks in an airport hotel. Yeah, I survived.

I got out. And so now I'm back home with my family. And are you missing all of that model time? I'm just really concerned that you started a healthy habit of making World War II models. It's good you specified it was toy models as opposed to models. Yeah. Don't worry. For Rosie, if she's listening.

I was telling some people while I was there to pass my time, I was doing some modeling, and people just thought I was like taking photos of myself naked in front of the camera and things like that. I said, no, it's kit set modeling. I'm building tiny little vehicles from World War II and painting them. Which did they think was weirder? They thought that was weirder. For a second there, they thought I was cool.

But then they, only a second, because then they realized, hang on, isn't he on his own? So he's just doing selfies. And then I said, no, I'm not weird. It's kit set modeling with paints and tiny decals. And they went, oh, OK, no, that is weird. That's some awesome skills there. Thank you. If people doubted your Geekdom status, that's why, you know.

Who doubted that? I was thinking, this is a general recommendation to anyone listening to the show, but we're living in this weird extraordinary pandemic time. And you have a little item that's always going to remind you that for two weeks you were in a hotel. And one day you can give that to the grandkids or whoever. And it's going to have a story. Grandpa built this when he was stuck in a hotel when the planet was shut down. And anyone listening out there, if you find yourself in a circumstance,

in the lockdown or whatever, just do something that you have for the future that you can look back at it as a little totem item and go, that was when the world was shut down. I did that. Well, hopefully that's the case. Maybe they're not like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lockdown every three months, granddad. Shut up.

Yeah, let's see, Reginald, this is the first one. We're sick of the lockdowns. Dan's theory is based on the idea that the world is going to get better. And so, cut to 10 years time, and we're still having the same discussion, then yeah, it doesn't quite equate. And of course, by then, Rhys will have every single vehicle ever made during World War II. He would have moved on to World War I. He would have shot Annie's entire career in music videos.

So I guess the other news we have to discuss is our astonishing UK chart success. Dan, give us a quick rundown of how you saw this and where we're at in the charts. Yeah, so Rhys appeared on the other podcasts that I do, no such thing as a fish, and we do quite well in the UK. It's quite well. You're like number four in the UK at the moment. Well, yeah. I mean, that's why I said quite well, because we're usually number one or two.

So this is actually not a good week for us. It's a slight drop down. But yeah, so Rhys came on fish and was brilliant, but not only brilliant as a guest, but also made sure to pound home time and time again that everyone should swap over and listen to the cryptid factor live. I did my best to steal fish's audiences and bring them over to outside. We're like the rambunctious, not that that's a word, but imagine if it was kind of, I guess, bad boy rogue B-side show to fish in a way.

Exactly. And we talked big film, the show and stuff. And so anyway, the show went out on Friday, and I was just looking to see what kind of impact it could have had. And I really wasn't expecting this, but I thought, OK, let me check out the charts. As you do every two hours, just to see... As I do every two hours. Exactly.

I just so happened to be checking out the charts. I meant, to be honest with you, I tripped over the charts on my way to the kitchen. And I said, clean up those charts, will you? Who's at number one? I was quite... And I'll be honest, I went right to the bottom of the charts just to see if we even got into the top 150. And we weren't there in the 150 to 100.

So I was like, ah, damn. So I was just heading back up just to the top of the end where I live. And I spotted on the way at number 50 was the cryptid factor. I couldn't believe it. I messaged you guys. And then five hours later, we rose 25 spots to 25 and we're still on the rise. We're in the top 100 in Australia now. I think we're in position 44.

This is it. We have top 50 podcasts in Australasia and UK. I just have to ask, is this what it feels like to be famous and trending? Because I've never felt this feeling before. Do you have butterflies in your stomach? Yeah, it's amazing. What do I do with all of this energy? You need to sort of utilise it and make more.

Shall I start modelling? Is that what I do next? Is that my next move? I would recommend just start editing and get these things done, get them out. Now look, let's not get too excited. There's probably just one week that we're going to chart like that. But you know, there'll be hopefully a lot of people that have tuned in to us and have thought, you know what, I'm going to go do the back catalogue.

I'm going to catch up on these. Are you saying that I've only got a week to have an affair, have a drug habit, go to rehab? Like, I've got one week to be famous and be like a football player. I'm going to have no time for editing, guys. I'm going to be like out, like living my life as a celebrity. You're going to OD, right? We're going to leave you.

This is the last you'll hear of me. Don't be the John Bonham of this group. You know, I'm not, because we will have to disband if you're gone. We can't do it. Led Zeppelin can't go on without the drummer. Well, I hear you say that, you know, this is only going to happen for one week. We all know that next week, when I'm inevitably the next star on No Such Thing as a Fish, we're just going to take, is that right, Dan?

I mean, I haven't checked my emails much. It may have slipped in my email system. But like when I'm on Fish, we should expect another big surge, right? There is, in fact, in your inbox, a request to come on Fish. For you to pass on to Banny, if that's OK. Later today, I'd appreciate it. OK, she can go after me. I'll let her have the slot after me, all right?

I think it's a safer bet you don't go on it. We don't want to tarnish our success by then having people realise, oh, nah, yeah, it was a fluke. It's not all that strong. That's a good point. That's a very good point. Anything else, Dan? I just got a tiny quick thing. I've been sitting at home lazy Sunday here in the UK,

reading this awesome book, The World's Weirdest Newspaper Stories. Oh, wow. Cool. Do you remember these books? These used to come out in sort of, there would be a whole series and they would have different, different sort of themes to them. And I just love, on the cover, they've got my favourite story in the whole book. I just wanted to read it to you guys. In 1974, Yuri Geller had a paternity suit filed against him

by a young mother in Sweden. She did not claim that Geller was the baby's father, but that his magical bending powers so altered her contraceptive coil, it became inoperable. And then she brought it to the court, this little coil to be a contraceptive, which she claims, like the spoons that he bent, he bent it. With his mind? Yeah.

From afar. From afar. Yeah, exactly. Wow. I remember they used to have records as well of news stories from the radio. Oh, really? On record. Yeah, on record. And then David Farrier and I did a little show on that dance music station.

All these people kind of wanting dance music, but David Farrier and I wanting to, you know, talk about weird stuff. So I used to get two records and play a dance music track underneath and just like just randomly drop the needle on these two records at different spots. And I used to do that with the weird news stories, LPs. And I just wondered, it's another segment that I was thinking of suggesting that we bring back. Yeah, because we need a bit more music.

We need a bit of liveliness. The show sometimes gets a little bit lower in energy. I'd be up for anything that's a bit alternative and different, but I'm guessing from, it would really depend on your location. You're in a car at the moment. So are you going to, when are you going to be broadcasting from a nightclub? That'll kind of fit in with that. That sounds like a challenge.

I'm going to now find a way to DJ and podcast. Hitler died in 1945 via suicide. That would be amazing. See that? Who wouldn't want to go to that nightclub? The Loch Ness Monster is thought to be a giant eel. This has been over 250 sightings since 1998 through to 2015. We'll be right back after these massages. Honestly.

Dad, I need a lift to school. I would seriously pay a lot of money to go to that nightclub. We could create a new thing called Info Techno Boom, and it's music, but you also get information and facts about weird shit. So you go to clubs and you dance, but it was for the nerds that really actually more into like learning stuff, but are there just because they've got to have a dance and maybe meet a girl. We've got to do it.

But all of the like no such thing as a fish listeners could go along to it because they can sit there and use all of their random facts that they learn from listening to that show and go, actually, did you know that Hitler? There was a couple of attempts at his life, and one time there was this, you know, it gives people an opportunity to have some chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right, but the conversation changes every 30 seconds and you wouldn't have time to get into a chat. You suddenly... Shut up, you dick. That was about two minutes ago that track. All right, well, that is this week's three-way Vibus Update. Update. Weekly World Weird News.

Crazy, freaky. Watch out. All right, should we do some headlines? Let's do some headlines. Yeah, go on here. The Titanic may have been sunk by the sun. Whoa. What?

Yeah, I will say no more for now. Okay. This is breaking information. Okay. That makes... Oh, wow. I can't wait for that one because at the moment my brain hurts thinking about it.

I know. Imagine dropping that during InfoTechnoBoom. That would be... The crowd would just lose it. That's the only time they scream in yahoo is when they hear a fact or a headline that makes them ooh and ah. Someone there with an air horn.

We should say that that is Reese doing that noise. You've done it a few times now, and it does sound like you have an air horn, but you've done that accurate. That is Reese's mouth every time you hear that. One of my few skills. So, Ghost Hunter warns Poundlands one-pound Ouija boards

could unleash deadly demons. I saw that one too. That was going to be my story, but lucky I've got a backup. If you don't have a backup, guys, you've got to get in quick with your headline. That's... Yeah, I know.

What was your backup Reese, by the way, just in case, you know? My backup rat wins medal for bravery. No, I don't even have that one. We have to do that one as well. We'll do that one as well. OK, well, my one is Potti Mouth Parrots split up by zoo bosses

after egging each other on to Swear. It's another one of those articles that you've basically just given it all to us. What else could there possibly be? I've already imagined two parrots swearing. No. And the zookeeper going, look, I'm going to have to let you guys go.

OK, kids are coming past here. Get fucked! Get fucked! Honestly, is he actually saying the F word? I don't know. I'm not sure what he's saying. No, there's more to the story. There's more to the story. OK.

All right. OK. You go first, Dan. I'm intrigued. OK, so the Titanic. We know it hit an iceberg and it went down, but there's all this mystery about what led to that moment. How did the guy not see the iceberg?

Did they get communications? There's all this sort of mystery about what happened. And someone has just written a new report where they believe that the sun had set off a solar flare that was so large that it hit the Earth's atmosphere and it scrambled all the instruments on board the Titanic. So much so that they think that it turned the magnetism of the actual compasses off a degree

which led them straying in towards iceberg territory as they were going. Not only that, that the scrambling would have meant that all the distress signal calls that they were making out to close ships were scrambled and didn't make it. Because there's all these weird reports of they were sending out signals

and the closest ships didn't hear it and no one could work out why they weren't getting all these things. Now, the reason that this has suddenly come up is someone who studies the weather was reading all the accounts of the reports at the time and it was a moonless night. So it was incredibly dark. So how were they going to find where the Titanic was?

But what they had in the sky that night was Aurora Borealis, the northern lights. Yeah, I know the one. That happens when you have a solar flare. It hits the atmosphere and it creates all these lights. So she was looking at this and she was like, hang on a second, if that was the case, this would make so much sense of all these weird anomalies

that were happening on the night that couldn't be explained. And it also bizarrely allowed for the one ship that was able to get there and save something like 700 people. The northern lights guided them towards it because they knew that that was the thing that they were told that it was near. So yeah, but this is just freshly published in a scientific journal

and they think that partially our sun is to blame for the Titanic sinking. A new culprit to be included in the big list. I mean, I can see how that could be the case and people don't take into consideration massive anomalies like that. But let's rewind back to... You said it was a moonless night.

Do you... Where was the moon? I don't know where it was that night. So that's another... Because that to me is a big mic drop there. That's a good point. The moon did not come out that night. You're right. What am I talking about? Where the hell was the moon?

I would put the blame on the moon because if the moon's not coming out, you know, then, you know, it's the moon's fault. It's not the sun. The sun was probably going, hey, moon, where are you? I'm going down there. You're supposed to come up.

You're not even here. Yeah. I'm going to get... And the moon... The sun probably started freaking out and that's why it happened. That's why it led to these solar blasts. Yeah.

That probably was because the sun was getting angry. It was furious. Yeah. You can't blame it. There was a guy called James Bissett and he was the second officer on the RMS Carpathia, which received and responded to the distress calls. And he wrote in his log, there was no moon, but the aurora borealis glimmered

like moonbeams shooting up from the northern horizon. So that's how we know there was no moon. Right. Where was the moon, mate? I mean, obviously he's saying couldn't see the moon. It was at its smallest peak and all hidden behind clouds. All hidden behind clouds, very good point. Oh, yeah. There you go.

You guys, this is really fascinating talking about how the moon hides. This is really, really good. Shall I do my news? Yeah. Yeah, please onto your news. Paul Masters has warned deadly demons could be released by the one-pound boards.

These Ouija boards. You know, these, have you guys had any experience with the Ouija board? I mean, I've always been too scared. Same. Never used one. Yeah. So what's happening here in the UK is Poundland, for those of you that aren't familiar with the UK,

is basically like the $1 shop. They sell very cheap stuff, right? Poundland are selling these boards for Halloween, basically. Paul Masters has warned that deadly demons could be released from these boards if they are put in the hands of anyone but actual mediums because of people who don't know what they're doing. These things are real.

They're not just a joke. This is what he's arguing. Now, Paul is a member of the True Paranormal Events UK and apparently he was gobsmacked when he saw the spirit board on sale for one pound at his local budget store in Hull, I think it might have been. Not Hull.

Sounds very much like Hull. He said Ouija boards are most certainly not a toy and should not be available for kids to buy in pound shops for Halloween. Never mind adults that are not trained in how to use them. So you've got to be trained to use these things. Otherwise, you know, deadly spirits can come out of them. Now, I know we're not into ghosts.

It's not because we don't believe in them. We just find it kind of like not literally not within our realm. But when he starts talking about demons and things like that, you know, it can be quite a scary undertaking and Halloween is coming up. We've had a hellish year. People are thinking let's do something hellish, ghoulish and frightening behaviour

is something people are going for during 2020 for whatever reason that is to get their mind off the actual disastrous world that they're living in. So these things, these things are going to be out there. Well, hey, you know, I live in the UK and a 10 minute walk from where I live is a pound land and Halloween is coming up.

We could do a Halloween special where... That's genius. Can you do one over Zoom? Does Ouija work over Zoom? I'm not sure. Is there a waiting room for the spirits? Is there a plug-in? Zoom needs a plug-in. Like, you know, like you can share screen. It needs to be like share spirit or something like that.

Like some ability to be able to... for us all to be infected by the same poltergeist at the same time. That would be amazing. Yeah. But if you have to say with this, he's right to have concerns about it, but the truth is you can just go online

and draw your own Ouija board. The Ouija board doesn't have the power. It's just literally like saying you could make your own Monopoly board at home if you wanted and play a game in Monopoly. Talk about giving away the secrets. Milton Bradley are listening to this. They're going to come down on your arse.

Next, you'll be saying anyone can create chess. Imagine sitting there writing out all the chance cards by hand. Oh, yeah, someone's done this. Someone would have done this. Someone would have made their own Monopoly. Imagine if we could repackage those pound store Ouija boards into an actual board game. So we use the Ouija board as a basis,

and we basically make a game that involves people actually doing a Ouija board session, but it's like Monopoly rules, and there's like cards and chance cards, and the spirits are playing with you. So it's like a board game which you can play by yourself, but you're actually playing with lots of other people, which are the spirits.

Oh, that's a lovely idea. Yeah, yeah. You can play with your great-great-grandfather. Yeah. I play with dead people. I play with dead people. Yeah. That sounds wrong.

That sounds really, really wrong. I think you're onto something there, though. That's great. Being able to play games with your relatives who have passed away, first you've got to bring them up, and they've got to appear, and then you're going to be so freaked out. I think the last thing you're going to want to do

is start playing battleships with them. I mean... That's funny, because then you'll have, any time you have those big spirit groups where someone says, I'm getting someone coming through, and it's a whole crowd, all it's going to be is them contesting.

They're saying you shouldn't have collected 200 when you passed away that time. Yeah, your granddad is saying that you landed on his hotel, Paul Moore, I believe, and he did have... So you owe him rent. Yes.

And also, he didn't get to be the top hat, and he did actually argue that point. We imagine if you're playing battleships with your great-grandfather, who died on a destroyer being bombed in World War II, and you're like, yep, I suck at your destroyer,

and then all of a sudden the whole room just whirlwinds and windows blow out, and the candles go, oh, sorry. Wait, he's coming through? There's a big, deep voice coming through. E7. E7.

E8. E9. Hit. E10. Hit and sung. Ah! Ah! It would be terrible,

because of course you don't know if they're just around looking over your shoulder. Yeah. Just looking at your board. Oh, see your cards. They can see you. They're all seeing, all knowing. They can, you know, they're there.

We are not supposed to be talking about ghosts, guys. And you, if I brought this thing up, it would be dangerous, dangerous territory. You know, I... We can talk about time-traveling aliens, but not ghosts. Yeah. Not ghosts.

Just to pick them up, a little quibble for old Paul Masters here is, well, he says it's not a toy for kids, but that is what Ouija boards started as. Oh, really? Kids toys. Yeah, they were, they're invented, and then they got given the demonic idea

off the back of it when, I think, some people popularise that. But no, they were very harmless kids. They were in the way like kids do that matchmaking thing where they find out the name of the person you like by, say a card. You know, the little, just little tricks. It was like a little fun game to spell a name out and so on.

Yeah, that thing that you make with paper in it, and you go, Yeah, what is that called? And you write numbers on it, and then they say, how old are you? Seven or whatever you go, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

What letter do you like? What is that game? Grabby Paper. What's it called? Grabby Paper. I tell you what, I've got five minutes. What about a quick game of Grabby Paper before we have to get on the bus?

What ultimately led to the downfall of Leon's brilliant Bring the Spirits back and match them with a board game? The names. The names. Grabby Paper. Well, that's what you're doing, isn't it? You're grabbing the little...

Well, Grabbing the paper. Yeah, I think you're banned from naming things. I tried to stipulate this two weeks ago. Oh, I thought that was dead. It's me as well. It reases the exclusive name of things. Stupid.

Okay, well, something we do talk about as animals, and my little story, this is in the UK, Lincoln Shire Wildlife Centre. They took on four parrots. And they're African grey parrots. And if you know anything about African grey parrots,

you know that they have an incredible ability to be able to talk. Their linguistic skills are incredible. There have been some that have been recorded having a vocabulary of up to 2,000 words. Wow. No. I once counted how many words I know,

and I got up to about 15. Yeah. You start repeating. Can we go down to the shop? Shop, shop. Yeah, you want to go to the movies. Yeah, the shop, shop. Quick game of paper, grabby.

You grabby paper, grabby paper. Shop, shop. Just... Yep. We're getting you a car. Oh, yeah. Car. In the car.

Yeah, that's it. Write that one down. That's an extra one. So you've got movies. Yeah, shop, shop. No, it's not a shop. It's a movies. In the car.

You grabby paper. No, we're not playing that game. It's sad how close to the truth that is. I'm surprised I even have been invited to be on a podcast with the lack of words I have. It's terrifying. What's it called? What's this parrot called?

The African... It's an African grey, and they lived to about the age of 80 years old. Wow. And the test was done a number of years ago in the 70s about them, and they realised that these birds have the intellect of around a five-year-old.

So it's effectively, if you take one on, it's a really big deal if you actually adopt one of these parrots. Yeah. Because you're taking on a toddler, but lives for 80 years, so you actually have to have a succession plan for it before you can actually take one on.

Anyway, the Lincolnshire Zoo took these four parrots on, named Billy, Eric, Tyson, and Jade, and they joined the colony. Great parrot names. Well, they had 200 grey parrots already, right? But these four that they brought in, actually, there's five.

There's another one called Elsie. So five parrots. Okay. Just an update to the story. This is live updates coming on. Breaking news. I'm writing that down. That's another word for you, too, for your vocabulary.

Elsie. 51 words. They very quickly had to separate these parrots out and put them in different parts of the zoo because they were actually, they found themselves egging each other on to swear, but not only swear, to actually form sentences which made sense.

So it's not like they were just sitting there going, fuck, fuck, ass. You know, it wasn't like an episode of Father Ted with the old priest in the corner. It was like they were actually forming sentences and replying to people. And these birds have actually really quite an amazing sense of humour.

I found a page where people were talking about their African greys and what they get up to. And it says, I have an African grey named Loki. He likes to scream and mimic the sounds of things falling off the shelf. And when we run into the room to see what's happening, he says, the cat did it, bad Sammy, and laughs hysterically.

And then whenever he gets mad and flies away, he can't fly very well, so he crashed lands. And when they go to pick him up, without fail, every time, he says, you really need to vacuum. Amazing. You really need to vacuum. You really need to vacuum.

Anyway, it's like they, you know, they clearly have a really amazing sense of humour. And I actually found a YouTube clip. These aren't the actual parrots that were in the Lincoln Shire Zoo. But if you just look up, basically, swearing African grey parrots, then you get some pretty funny videos.

So I'm just going to... What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Oh my God. Shut the fuck up. Fucking bastard.

Fucking bastard. What's he doing? Is it a bird saying that? Yes! Wow, this is incredible. Quickly, while we're in the realm of animals, I'll just quickly mention this magawa, the landmine detection rat,

which has recently been given a gold medal for bravery. This is a lovely story. It was all over the world. This one is from The Guardian. And it's about this pouched rat, which has cleared more than 141,000 square metres of land. Wow.

That's the equivalent of 20 football pitches from mines. So it's a landmine detection rat. Who knew these things even existed? So cool. That's incredible. Yeah, so it's a giant African pouched rat, and it has discovered 39 landmines

and 28 items of unexploded ordnance in Cambodia. Wow. And he's been formally recognised for his work and been presented with a miniature PDSA gold medal, the animal equivalent of the George Cross. Wow. Yeah, you can see there he is there. Oh, that's amazing.

Yeah, he's got his little medal on. See, his little medal. Very cool. Rats are so cool. Why do rats get such a bad rat, man? Well, because they spread the plague. Oh. But look, you spread one plague,

and people just won't forgive you for that. But yet, of course, there's amazing things that rats do. And people that are into rats really adore and love rats, keep rats, do things with them. And because they're intelligent animals, but this is a great story because it shows you that animals work alongside us to do great things. And clearing landmines in poverty-stricken areas

is something that you have to take your hat off to. I know the people from Disney are definitely listening to this podcast, waiting for great ideas. And here is one. I'm just going to say it's been a long time since Ratatouille. Yeah. Well, whatever happened to little Ratatouille? He's finished with his restaurant.

He sold that to like a multinational restaurant conglomerate. And he's moved on and he's now wanting to give back to the community because he's so wealthy. And he goes in clears landmines. I'm just saying it could be a really good plot for the next Ratatouille movie. Yeah. Or the next Ninja Turtle movie, Splinter, could get there as well.

There are options. It doesn't need to be just Disney. So he sniffs along and this Magawa rat, he sniffs along and then when he finds something that is metal underneath the ground, he just taps. Just taps his little paw. That's so cute. Yeah.

That's so badass. It's extraordinary. And he obviously hasn't got enough ability to press the pin down on the landmine I take care of. No. And because he's so light, you know, but I like the fact that I just, I just, you know, I like to believe that he has received this medal and knows what he's done and is actually proud and

just doesn't think that, you know, for a second, why are you putting this thing around my neck? You know, I'd like the idea, the imagination that perhaps he's looking at you and his eyes have got that kind of, did I do good bus? Did I do good? Oh, you did. And because he's now coming up to the age of retirement.

Wow. I just hope in this final bit of his career that the medal they've given him isn't so heavy that it's built the additional weight that would set off the mine. Honest last day. I tell you what, this is your last day, Magawa. Can you just wear the medal this time when you're just having a little look around?

Just for the photo shoot. Yeah, just for the photo shoot. Oh, shit. Grab another rat. Quickly. Yeah, they all look the same. They're not going to know. Quickly.

You know the funny thing is in the place where they are training this rat, I can almost guarantee you that there will be traps set by those same humans to catch mice and rats that are not part of the regime. They're just like living in the walls and, you know, and they'll be like on one hand giving this one a medal whilst at the same time killing off his buddies. That's life though, isn't it?

It's the same with humans. You know, there's good ones. There's bad ones. There's some that are annoying. There's some that, you know, we can't live without. Well, just out of interest, we're of that scale. Where would I just, it's like, am I on this side? You're right on the fence of, you know, useless, annoying, but also, you know,

now and again, you tip over into the, we can't live without. Yeah. So it's fun because it's better for you to be in a sort of gray, cloudy area of is this guy worth it rather than a definite, this person is no good with a lot of people. Can we come up with a system? Like maybe some sort of sign language of which side of the fence I'm sitting on at that stage.

Okay. Just so I know. Well, pretty much when you're doing this show, you're definitely worth it. But I think, I think when we're off here, I'm not sure if anyone's, you know, honing in on what your purpose is. Well, certainly I'm not. Maybe I need somebody to help me with that. I'm going to laugh if Benny comes up to your window in a minute

and starts tapping on your car window. Excuse me, Leon, you're supposed to be filming my music video. What's this you're doing? You're talking about landmine rats. What's going on here? Funnily enough, at the moment, I'm on that side of the fence for her. I'm on the useless side of the fence. And I start filming and then I go on to the quite useful side.

But then you're useless to us. Exactly. It's hard being me. Can you see how hard it is being me? Yeah, you're flip-flopping all over the place. You don't know whether you're half or a maverick. You know, you're an incredible resource for anyone who's lucky enough to come and contact with you.

So thank you so much. That's very nice. Have you noticed that I try and steer this conversation this way each week just to get a little bit of positive affirmation in my life? I can see that. And I know you need it. And I know that this podcast is a session of psychological help for you. And I need it.

Oh, my God, I need it. And I've noticed we've gone from once every other month to you're needing it now weekly, which is great. It's great for the listeners. I'm just going to get worried when you're going to start calling us every second day. Hey, we should do another episode, guys. I'm not feeling too good about myself.

When you answer the phone and you just hear the cryptic factor theme playing down the earpiece straight away. Oh, God. Oh, God. I just need help. But pretend we're doing a podcast. And we're back. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Hey, gosh. How am I doing, guys? How am I doing? Which side of the fence am I in? All right. Anyway, let's do some let's do some cryptid news. Yes.

There's been lots happening too. Aren't there? Attention, all personnel. It's time for this week's cryptid. My cryptid news this week. Pile a pile of scat photographed on the termite mound may belong to a Yaoi. Oh, that's exciting. Yeah.

This is news coming out of Australia. And this is again, it's on the mysterious universe website. Another article written by Paul Seaburn. Paul Seaburn who provided me with the amazing information that Bigfoot was possibly braiding the hair of horses in its downtime. In a few episodes ago. Yeah. So yeah, this is in far North Queensland.

And there's been photos that have been shown of these giant termite mounds that you see with poo on the top of them. And the poo is very big. And it doesn't naturally look as if it could be any of the local animals. It doesn't look like an echidna, which is local to the area. Doesn't look like it could be that. So there's a lot of chat on a Facebook page, which is the table lands Yaoi sightings. If anyone wants to check that out, that's the place to go.

If you want to stay completely on top of all Yaoi movement in Australia. That is, that is your location. And the story is, you know, it sounds like it probably was not that big, except for the fact that it made Australian TV. It was on the morning TV program, Studio 10 in Australia. And I'll, I'll play you guys the clip. Locals there claim a Yaoi, which is a kind of a cross between a gorilla and a man has been stalking the area.

And they say it's, this is proof of its existence. Droppings on a termite mound. Now the photo was posted on a Facebook page that records Yaoi sightings, which is run by Lionel Carroll, who joins us from Mariba. Lionel, it's great to see you. What makes you so certain that Yaoi's exist? Have you actually had experience with one? Yeah, I've had a, well, you know,

I've had an experience with something that could have been one. I guess I didn't actually see it, but I definitely believe that it could have been one. He sounds a lot like me. What was your experience with it, Lionel? Well, I woke up late one night. I'm on the edge of Mariba to strange noises in my backyard. I've marched out there, charged on out there,

thinking maybe someone was trying to break into my place. So I've done the mad dash out the front, out the side door to see what was out there. And all I seen was something going over my back fence, which I couldn't explain what it was. And where I had heard and where I had seen the being or the creature moved from, it was a full-brown kangaroo leg in my backyard,

just the kangaroo leg with white marks in it. It left me wondering what, you know, trying to logically think what that would have been. That's astonishing. Wow, that's amazing. How cool is that story? Yeah, and so it's stuff like as well that in the local area, it took me a while to get my head around what they were trying to say,

things like sleepers. You know the giant bits of wood that you use for trains? Oh yeah, yes, for trains. Those giant logs sleepers have been found in the trees there, as if someone's just having fun throwing them around. But you've got to be a sizeable beast in order to do that. And that's very near where this scat, this larger than normal scat has been found.

I wonder whether, well first of all, whether that scat was analysed because you'd really want to find out what was in it and get to the bottom of whether it is human or not. Well, they say there's a lot that you can tell from a stool sample. Yeah, absolutely. What's in the diet, how old the animal is, where it's come from.

There's some microbes in there, whether or not there's any bacteria and stuff. And again, back to a somewhat popular theory about time travelling humans being potentially aliens. But that explains, to a degree, the rectal probes that aliens do, that they say that they're taking stool samples because there's so much that you can tell.

And so much evidence you can find. You can also just conduct a verbal interview with a human though, can't you? Don't want to be pedantic, but if an alien wants to know where I've been and what I'm up to, I'll tell them. Don't go near my bottom. So we just want to find out what you had last night for dinner.

So we're just going to put this up your aides. I'll tell you, it was a Hawaiian pizza. Yeah, well, we've just discovered it wasn't. Now, you've been lying to us. It was a gluten-free one, alright. Well, that didn't show up here. Did you have something later? Yeah, I want to have some mellow puffs before bed.

Ah, right, here we go. I'd love to know if it was behind what they find as the appetizer you haven't told them about. Oh, no, boss, behind the calamari. There is, the Hawaiian's just behind it. He's telling the truth. Well, I just wanted to bring up the Loch Ness Monster, which is back in the news.

So basically, a couple has spotted a bus-sized creature in Loch Ness. Yeah, this is fairly recent. There's been two sightings within a week of each other. First of all, Cory Sturrick and his wife spotted this thing in the lock where they are out walking with their dog and they saw this thing.

He says here, I have been camping and walking on Loch Ness my whole life and I have never believed in the Loch Ness Monster and it's important to, you know, it's always a good article when they start off as a complete non-believer. So therefore, when the belief is completely flipped, as is going to be the case with everyone once, you know, the truth about all these paranormal creatures

we talk about is finally revealed. It's going to be the old egg on the face of the non-believers. So what better person to suddenly have that turnaround belief than someone who doesn't believe in the first place? They're always the best eyewitnesses. This is why I think we need a register of what people believe now before they're proven so that people don't have the ability to just be able to go,

oh, you and I always believe. No, you didn't, sorry, you didn't believe. We just checked our whiteboard and you're on the non-belief side. We need to be like Santa Claus and have like a big block of believe, not believe. The believers and the naughty. So he says, my wife and I saw something quite extraordinary and I would like to know if other people have seen the same thing.

He described the creature as eel-like, but also the size of a bus. So this excites me because I'm on the camp of thinking this creature in Loch Ness is a giant eel. And so this could be firmly in that camp. We saw the water rippling as if something was swelling and that is what grabbed our attention, he says. We then saw this thing that looked like a massive eel

rise from the water and then go back down again. And then there was a huge swell in the water when it dipped back down. It's quite extraordinary. Now, unfortunately, he didn't have enough time to capture the spectacle on his camera. It was about 10 to 20 seconds. This is often the case.

You see something, you're so in awe and so in shock struck by the imagery that you're facing that you don't think to get your camera out. And people always say, oh, why don't you take it? Because you just don't because you're amazed that you're seeing something extraordinary. But he says here, whatever it was, it was some size. So we've got that report and then we skip forward

a week and a half to another sighting pretty much in the same place. A man who had been walking his dog along the shore spotted something unusual in the water and this time there is a video. So he grabbed his phone and managed to capture a few seconds of the footage. The object which appears black in color

seemed to move up and down in and out of the water. And he says, similarly, that he has been walking along this part of the beach many times and has never seen anything in the water moving. He also, though, does say it might have been a log. So... OK, enough covering this ground. Have you got the footage?

Yeah, so let me see if I can... There. Oh, yeah. What? It's like a gif. Yeah, it's definitely more in the log realm in my point of view because it's going up and coming down,

going up and coming down as if it's bobbing up and down in the water. Looks almost like a very large bottle or something like that. One more time. Here we go. One more time. See that? Yeah.

Definitely a log. Unfortunately, there's no way that I'm firmly in the camp of that being the giant eel that was spoken of in the first article. But anyway, there we have it. But it still leads us to the fact that there's been two more Loch Ness monster sightings in the last two weeks.

Yeah, so people must be getting back up there now, which is exciting. Yeah. Well, where are you now, Buttons? So I'm effectively double charging now because I'm on Voss podcasting. I'm actually also filming. I'm having to get to work.

Whilst you've been reading your story, everybody's looking at me really angrily because I'm supposed to be setting up the music system for Benny to be able to play her song. So is it going to be... When we see this Benny clip come out, is it going to be half her and then it's going to cut to the three of us on a Zoom call

with a log popping up and down and some yowee scat on a terabyte mound? That's what I'm hoping for. Is this the first visual episode of Info Techno Boom? This is our nightclub. We're going to be witnessing an amazing artist preparing and then performing her music video and it's going to be interspliced with us

doing ridiculous facts and info about cryptozoological creatures that are more than likely logs. Thanks for listening, fans. It's been, as usual, very weird. This was our chance. This was our chance. We're in the charts. This should have been the episode where we nailed it.

We smashed it out of the park. Instead, we've got a log. We've got Leon walking us through a set. I talked about Ghosts, one of the card and rules that we shouldn't be doing. Guys, that was it. We were at our peak. We have blown it.

That one episode before everybody came on and listened was our peak and it's all downhill now. Yeah. Thanks for ruining the show. I knew it was a pipe dream and I think the universe has spoken. We are back on the shelf where we should be.

The third shelf up underneath some family photos that no one looks at. Squashed in beside a weird teddy bear with a missing eye. That's where the cryptid factor is and always will be. So for those of you that are managing to stick with us and find us and dust us off every week and have a good gander and then maybe just give us a little cuddle

and put us back there behind the picture, we'll always be there for you too. And don't forget, if you want the visuals and you really want to see how crazy this show is put together on the fly and amongst the seven other jobs that Leon's doing at the same time, then please join our Patreon account. I'm going to go ask if Benny wants to start a podcast

because you know, you would have fun but never really believed in it. But I'll still do the fish episode next week, Dan, so that's fine. Great. I'll be in touch. All right. Hey, guys.

Hang on. Stop the music. Stop the thing to... Guess what? Look who I found. Benny. Yes. Benny.

Hello. I found the extreme celebrity. Oh, you've finally come through. Well, this is a first. This is groundbreaking. We can do the first version of Well-Knowing Unknown for 2020. Before we chat to you, Benny,

we have been friends and I came and saw you in New York in Brooklyn. Thanks for coming. It was amazing. Thanks. Someone came up to us and said, are you guys her dads? What are you doing?

How dare you, I said. No. And you do a song called Monster, which I really love. Thank you. As well as all your other brilliant work. Just give us a little rundown on that, on the lyrics of that song, how that came about.

I wrote the song when I moved out of my parents' house into a sleepout in Auckland, New Zealand. That's right. And I convinced myself that I was going to get taken in a night. But actually by a human. But some humans can be monsters. So that was the kind of human that I was thinking of. And I decided to make it a kind of like happy twisted story

where it actually ends up being, I'm writing about a monster who takes me in the night and then there's a big plot twist in the story. That's right, that's right. The monster ends up being a good monster who's saving me from my room catching on fire. Oh, brilliant. Nice.

What's a sleepout? Pardon? What's a sleepout? I've never heard of that. So it's like a granny flat? Yeah, granny flat. Okay, right. Well, I was calling an outhouse the whole tour

and then my mum was like, an outhouse is a toilet. So. Probably the big question that we have. Have you seen anything, has anything weird ever happened to you? Is that like you've seen any like weird lights in the skies or? I haven't yet.

But I'm waiting. Well, you know what? You probably will at some point and then you'll remember this interview. I will. I will, I definitely will. I must check to those guys. I will.

I have to tell them about what happened to me. I got a question. If one of the crazy monsters of the world could be real, like if you could wake up and see the news that says Bigfoot discovered or Loch Ness Monster or Aliens have visited, what's the one that appeals to you most to be real? I'm like a huge believer in aliens, but I don't know if I could see them.

You know, I feel like maybe we just can't see them. Yeah. All right. You feel like you wouldn't be able to see them. Is this a good opportunity for me to tell you my theory on aliens? Guys, should I? No.

No. Please. Actually, she might be interested in this. Let's see what she thinks. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. That aliens could just purely simply be us

from the far, far distant future, time traveling back to visit us. Well, I had this theory that we are bacteria. And when I made it up when I was in year 13 at high school and all my mates were like, no, Stella, that's ridiculous. That's not like what the heck. But then apparently a scientist was doing an interview

and he was like, you know, we somehow like work a little bit like bacteria and then my friend came up in a portrait to me and was like, you're right. Wow. Wait, so what do you mean? Are bacteria a part of some bigger alien being? Yeah, maybe.

Wow. Just how we like breed and everything. Yeah, we are like bacteria. Yeah, when you zoom out with Google Earth, the further you go, the smaller we get. Exactly. I worked that out. Hey, Benny, I want to show you a video now

and I want you to tell me whether you think it's, this is a very, it's only just come out. It's a Loch Ness Monster video. And apparently this guy took this video and it surprised his dog. The dog got shocked and I want you to have a look at it and think and tell me whether you think it's possibly Nessy or is it a log?

Okay, so I'm going to show you this. Okay. I've been there. Have you? Yeah. I've been to Scotland for a little bit. There it is. And now here comes the dog getting shocked.

There's the dog. Wow. Completely shocked. No, I don't think that was a Loch Ness Monster. I would play it one more time. Do you think, have a look at it. Have a look at the thing. Do you think that's a monster?

I think that someone who has Photoshopped it in or something. Yeah. It's not that hard, is it? Wait, but look at the dog. Look how shocked the dog gets. No. The dog's going for a nice morning run. That dog saw nothing.

So do you think log or a monster? What do you think it could be? Maybe a seal, but I don't think it was actually there. Oh, really? Do you think there was an add-on? Maybe, yeah. I've been watching this video for hours, and I haven't. But I imagine if I had been.

Hey, I've got 40 people on set waiting. I've got to take care. Peace out, guys. Two minutes. We haven't finished our interview yet. We've paid good money for Benny here. And I think it's a bobbing up and down bottle of champagne. Me too.

I'm going to get it. Well, we're going to have to let you go, Benny, because we're very busy. Bye, guys. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. Sorry, I can't stay for longer. Bye. Thank you.

Thanks, guys. See you. Okay, bye, guys. Bye, guys. See you next week, everyone. Bye, guys. See you. Bye.

Bye. Bye.