The Cryptid Factor - 59: #059 The Poignancy Issue
Episode Date: March 15, 2021In this jam-packed issue; Rhys has mic issues which leads to news stealing and a new branch on the 'Poignancy Tree'. Ships in the sea start flying and Slugs in the Sea lead to a new proverb (and possi...bly a new tee-shirt). All this plus super fresh alien big cat news, increases in Bigfoot bounty and Rhys reads old fan mail. Phewf!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The Cryptid Factor with Rhys Darby and Dan Schreiber.
Well, Blue Tech 23 chopsticks onto my back and hide me in the Vigigarden and isn't for another surprise because we are back!
I don't know why I was going with that one.
It was beautiful though.
Please tell me you write these down.
No, we saw the brain working full force it.
He was like a rock climber who lost his handholds and he quickly had to find new ones as he was heading down the mountain.
But he found them.
He got them.
He got them.
And he got to the top in one big heave.
Hello guys.
Third week in a row.
Although today is Thursday and to make this next episode come out a third week in a row.
That means I have to edit all day today after we finish this and through the night.
So chances of coming out in the third week.
Oh, sketchy.
Well, you know, we sort of fell off the wagon slightly towards the end of last season where it was like every week and a half or two.
And so it's like an old Land Rover engine that sort of, you know, needs a bit of warming up.
So I think the audience won't mind us not being exactly weekly as long as we are as regular as we can be.
Like the old three prunes that we are.
I love that prune analogy.
We've got to get that.
Which reminds me guys, remember these t-shirts that I've been wanting to get made with quotes and stuff on them.
Well, a fan sent us via the Cryptid Factor Facebook page, which listeners, if you're out there and you haven't got onto this,
there's a thing called Facebook.
So we have a fan page on Facebook and, you know, a lot of people like to message us with weird news and updates and things like that.
And in fact, this week I'm going to be doing some news off there because there's definitely a lot of animalistic.
I like to say news coming through that's weird, cryptid and regular animal weirdness that's come through this week.
But also, remember I wanted that t-shirt with that quote on it.
Why the hell would a baby thar scene be followed around by two paramelons?
Well, let's have a look here if I can find the lovely person that sent it.
Yes, there she is, Melissa.
She's designed the t-shirt.
She's sent in that image.
That is beautiful.
And yeah, so she says, I created this image so Reese can put it on a shirt.
And I said, I love it.
I'm going to try and find a shirt making shop.
So that's what I'm going to do next week is try and get this t-shirt made.
What happened to the website domain shirt?
She less interested in www.movieweb.com.
No one's put that one up.
Outrageous.
All right, guys, before we go on, Reese, you're in a different room today, are you?
I see there's a lovely piece of art behind you.
And what have you? Where are you?
Yeah, I'm down at my agent's back office in town.
Why did she put you in the back office?
And she came to talk to you and tell you, look, it's been great, Reese,
but I've got to look at her.
So it's just a disciplinary meeting or something.
Yeah, there hasn't been much work over the last year.
We're hearing a lot about this buttons guy.
Yeah.
Well, she is interested in signing you up, actually.
Really? This could be, really?
Can I get an agent?
I think that could be on the cards.
Oh, man, that would be, you know what?
I would do anything to have an agent.
I don't even want the work.
I just want to tell people I've got an agent.
That's the main part of it, isn't it?
Well, she can visualize you as sort of like a middle-aged dad
on some sort of KFC ads or something like that, I think.
That is actually what I've been working up towards, guys.
As soon as I get that, I'll be off the show
because once I get that KFC ad, I'm done. I made it.
Take that four grand and run.
Four grand? I get paid as well?
Wow. That's amazing.
Well, no, the only answer to the room that you're in, Rhys,
because the room's a little bit echo-y,
so I'm going to have to apologize now for listeners
to have to put up with a slightly echo-y room on Rhys' microphone.
I don't know how much I can fix that.
But also, maybe what that means, Rhys,
that this episode, maybe you just talk less.
Right. Okay.
All right. Well, this won't be as good an episode
as what we normally put out.
I've been hearing that.
I've been annoying that...
You've heard from...
Yeah, there was one person who thought you were annoying.
Yeah. Well, that's...
He may represent...
I've been telling you you're annoying for years.
Why don't you listen to me?
Well, this is the thing.
I'm now just letting you know
that now it's your turn to be annoying in this episode.
I just want to let you know that this is what it feels like to be annoying.
So that's why you've set me up with no mics this week
and put me in an echo-y room in my agent's back office.
Brilliant.
You're trying to sabotage my podcasting career.
Yeah. Wow. I'm just trying to shop.
There's no logic buteds to you needing Rhys to be said that he's annoying.
If Rhys talks less, no one's going to be like,
God, the guy who said nothing is so annoying.
No one says that.
Yeah. It's not going to work out.
It's just through.
No, I have because if people are listening to the start of the podcast
and they go, God, Rhys sounds terrible this week,
it's really annoying. I hope he talks less this week.
It's, you know...
And then I'm just giving the people what they want.
Okay. Wow.
I'd be very surprised if people were tuning in going,
I hope Rhys talks less this week.
Well, this is an attempt.
This is an attempt.
You should see what I've got set up for you next week, Dan,
to try and make you talk less.
Oh, my God.
I'm scared. It's all of a sudden very hunger games,
ever since there's one comment.
Please, no one comment ever again.
It's altered buzzards.
It's honestly, I've got to take you guys down.
I'm not going down by myself.
I'm dragging you guys down with me, okay?
But then who's going to pull you up again?
We're both down there too.
Oh, that's a good point.
Yeah.
You need me to be the shining star at the top,
always pulling you up.
So, that's so truer than anybody will realise.
Okay, now look, this is all very fun and dandy,
but I've got a Zoom call at 11,
which is the real reason I'm in the back office of my agent.
My agent's place here in town,
because there's a big movie deal going down,
so I can't.
Really?
Yeah.
Yes, I've got to be off this,
whatever you want to call this,
Larrican's annual club meet that we do,
and I've got a proper business to attend.
So, let's crack on with this.
Okay, well, before we go into weekly World Weird News then,
and maybe this needs to be part of Weekly World Weird News,
I just wanted to share that last week,
after we put up the podcast,
I saw my first ever legit weird phenomenon.
Like, I saw a weird thing,
and I'm hoping maybe somebody listening to the podcast
might be able to explain what this is
because I've tried to research it,
but super quickly, sitting there at the backyard
of our neighbour's house,
and I was glancing up at the sky,
and this bright green flash sort of tore across the sky,
and it was just, it wasn't like a meteor
that went for miles and miles and miles
and sort of like was gone.
Yeah.
It was a bright green flash,
and it was like, if you're looking at the sky,
it was only like two or three inches long of a linear flash,
but the weird thing is, it left sort of like a burn-in.
You could see where it had been for quite a while afterwards
for like almost 30 seconds a minute afterwards,
just this really bright thing.
Kind of like back to the future?
Yes.
When they, the sort of fire trails, kind of thing?
That's right.
Or when, was it called, John Connor,
trying to find John Connor with Arnold Schwarzenegger,
and he comes down.
Terminator.
Terminator, thank you.
You remember John Connor,
but you don't remember the word terminator?
That is so weird.
You know, the John Connor movie,
with the Connor, where he's a Schwarzenegger.
I'm terrible with movie titles.
I can't remember the premise.
I just, you know, you know this.
Is whatever you're going to say in that movie,
is it any different to the Fire Flames or Back to the Future,
or have we covered the sort of comparison?
Well, no, no, that, well, it was very much like that,
but it was up in the sky.
But the John Connor reference, the Terminator, sorry,
reference is that I'm kind of excited about the fact
that I may have seen somebody coming back
from the far distant future back in,
and maybe they were rewarding me for having a belief
in time travel in the future.
And they just went, oh, we're just,
he's looking up now, isn't he?
Let's go back in history and find out when.
Wait, how do they know you're looking up now?
I like that very casually.
Oh, he's looking up now, isn't he?
How do they know that?
Let's dive into that aspect of your ridiculous story.
In the bushes, somebody might have sent somebody back.
So wait, okay, so there's a guy hiding in the bushes.
Watching me from the bushes, waiting until I look up.
And he's on a comms system.
Well, he's looking up now.
I'm in his backyard and looking through the shrubs.
I can see the guy looking up now.
Do your thing, appear now.
Do the thing from the John Connor movie.
Well, there's every chance, isn't there?
But also right now, I could actually say it was at 9.43
on last Thursday night that I was looking up.
Okay.
Now, in the future, somebody just has to listen
to this podcast.
They didn't even need to come and look in the bushes now, did they?
They just need to go.
They told us in the podcast at 9.43 here to look up.
Yeah.
So you're manifesting your own future
reappearance, time travel occurrences by stating them right now.
That's cool.
Yeah.
That's how great this whole, you know, concept is.
That could have been them kind of going,
listen to the podcast.
Wouldn't it be funny if at 9.43 we actually sent somebody back.
And then, and maybe this is a test to see whether or not
I would then talk about it on the podcast,
therefore make it actually happen.
Can I ask, what were you doing in your neighbour's
back garden bushes, you weirder?
Well, glossed over that bit.
Anyway, we've finished that bit.
Shall we go on to weekly World Wide News?
Sure, I mean, but just briefly,
which is something that's not in your vocabulary,
I think, are you suggesting that this was a extraterrestrial
or a spaceship?
Was it just a weather phenomenon?
This is what I'd love to figure out,
because it definitely wasn't fireworks.
It was way too high up in the sky.
And it was green, you know, way too bright.
And it was green and it was a flash.
And Michelle, my wife, I said,
quick, quick, quick, come and look at this.
And she didn't see the original flash,
it didn't even burn in or the residue of whatever happened.
So other people sort of witnessed it.
Did you go on Twitter or anything to look at,
if anyone else had reported?
Yeah, no, I looked, but I didn't, nothing came up.
What was your best guess as to what you think it is?
I think it was John Connor coming back for me.
OK.
So a fictional character.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just trying to write myself now into the next Terminator movie.
Let's continue.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, that's great.
I think it's good if you do get a phenomenon sighting
that we mentioned at the start of the show.
And I'm very proud of you.
I'm excited that you've had that.
And regardless of what it was,
even if it was something normal and just that feeling of going,
I see something weird.
Out of the ordinary.
Yeah, I love that feeling.
Addictive.
Because it doesn't happen enough.
That's cool.
But just a hint, you guys,
if you want to see something,
you can just mention a time on the podcast
when you're going to be looking out.
But you have to do it after the event.
You can't pre...
Oh, true.
You didn't set this up.
Yeah, no, it's true.
This happened and now you're mentioning it.
Oh, true.
That's a very good point.
So listeners out there,
if you do see something weird in any way, shape or form,
please then mention it in a podcast a few days later.
And it will definitely have happened.
It definitely still will have happened.
Because it's definitely happened.
It can't unhappen.
It can't unhappen,
but it means that it's legitimately happened.
So if he hadn't mentioned this,
it may not have even happened for him.
Well, it's just maybe I couldn't control not mentioning it
because I had to mention it because it did happen.
And therefore I was never going to not mention it.
Hey, do you know what I'm thinking?
Let's move on to WWWN.
And as I said earlier, this episode is full of weird animal stuff.
I'm going to be pushing out some of the stuff that the fans have put in as well
because why not?
They give a lot of suggestions and there's some weird, unreal,
but hopefully real stuff to chat about this week.
But first, it's everyone's favorite segment.
Weekly World Weird News.
Crazy, freaky.
Watch out.
OK.
Should we do headlines?
Yes, very good idea.
I got one.
OK.
And this is in keeping with the news that Buttons has just told us.
And that is a man walking near the coast of Cornwall
sees and takes a photo of a hovering ship.
A giant ocean ship.
I read about this.
Yes.
I saw this one.
This is cool.
This is fascinating.
Yeah.
What have you got, Reesey?
Well, in keeping with my endeavoring nature of going scientific this season,
I'm talking sea slugs.
I'm talking sea slugs this week.
This was my one.
Oh, there you go.
Well, you made the mistake.
You made the mistake of asking me what my one was.
Sure, nobody else would have this.
Well, you're right.
Because I literally did not have another one.
Well, the problem with that is my backup story is pretty lame.
So I'm just putting it out there now.
OK.
Well, that's honestly, that's no different to any other week.
So back onto these sea slugs.
I don't know whether Dan, you might not have picked this one up.
It actually was reported in the UK.
Sky News.
Sea slugs sever their own heads and regenerate new bodies.
This is a new discovery.
It's insane.
So I'm excited to have a chat about that.
There's an image as well to be of a decapitated sea slug.
I'm just remaining silent here because I'm in protest.
This is killing me.
Oh, come on, mate.
Well, look, we could share it.
Well, it's OK to share news.
Is that?
Yeah.
We've not done that before, but we could share the news.
Rhys wasn't meant to talk in this episode.
And now he's talking and you have nothing to talk about.
I tell you.
Hang on.
Hang on, yeah.
Buttons.
Listen.
Are you there?
Yeah.
I won't talk.
You have it.
And I'll just jam in sometimes.
You cover it because you've got a better mic.
Oh, see how this works.
See how this works.
It's just like the time travel thing.
If you mention it at the front, then it comes true.
See?
So you had no news at all, did you?
So your tactic was to ask me what mine was
and then make out that that was your one,
knowing that my kindness would offer you the news.
That is a great plausible theory,
but I wish I was clever enough to pull something like that off.
Well, I feel that either that is what you've done
or unfortunately my cleverness of coming up with that
now will transfer over to you
and that's something that you might do in the future.
And so I feel bad now that I've given you that.
You've given me a great con man.
Yeah, it's a classic news con.
Okay.
Okay, so you go on with it.
Yeah, well, let's share it then.
So much in the same way that starfish can regenerate their arms,
salamanders are able to grow new tails
and axolotls reform their spinal cords.
Scientists have just found out that sea slugs
can grow an entire new body from their severed head.
So weird.
Yeah, I know.
It's freaky.
It doesn't.
It doesn't make much sense.
But the interesting thing with this is
is that they've only just discovered it now almost by accident
because scientists were monitoring these creatures.
You see creatures for a completely different reason.
And they noticed a couple of times that their heads became severed
and they couldn't figure out quite why.
And through watching these things,
they've found that they detached their arms
and they've found that they've found that their arms
became severed.
And through watching these things,
they've found that they detached their own heads from their bodies.
I'm not sure, Rhys, did you find out
if they figured out why they do this?
I imagine it's an attack thing, right?
You know, they're being eaten by a predator
and they can quickly sever themselves
and sort of jettison themselves away
in an escape pod kind of scenario.
That's what the other animals
that can sever parts of their body
are for sure.
So I think that's the best guess, yeah.
Yeah.
The weird part of all of this is
is that within their body
is typical organs, a heart,
you know, all of that stuff.
What happens is that the head severs that entire body
and regrows all of those functions.
So how does the head survive without that?
Surely if we had that, how does blood
keep pumping through the head?
How does it actually cleanse its blood?
How does it, you know, all those kind of stuff,
that's what I don't, that's what I can't figure out.
Yeah, great call, yeah.
And how long does it say in the article
how long it takes for the body to return to its full form?
The head starts to feed on algae
within hours of detachment
and they start regenerating a heart within a week
and then within a couple of weeks
it's got a whole brand new body.
Okay, so that's how it kind of does it.
It's kind of like a drip.
It's like when you go into hospital
and you stop eating whatever, but you're being fed.
So the algae is just keeping whatever it is
that it needs nutrition and, you know,
the sustenance to keep going.
I imagine if the head wasn't having that,
it would just die.
But it sounds like they've worked out how to,
it's a hospital basically, the algae for them.
Yeah, apart from where does the food go
to be digested, to be turned into nutrients
and where does it poop it out?
Maybe it's just eating just enough
to not need to poop it out.
I think you're thinking down the wrong track here.
It's just cells reforming, surely.
And I've seen in the article here
they found a new body complete with all organs
was formed by the severed head within three weeks.
Wow.
The cast-off bodies did not regenerate the lost body part
in either the young or old sea slugs,
but they were seen to move around
and react to being touched for several days
or even months.
Months? Wow.
The old cast-off bodies still having a bit of movement
months later, just sitting there.
I mean, it's so freaky.
There's a thing that octopuses do,
which if they lose their arm,
their arm that has been severed
has been found to still be active
and still be trying to feed the mouth of the octopus.
Oh, wow.
So it's sort of like memory.
Muscle memory.
Muscle memory, exactly.
That's incredible.
Yeah.
Imagine if we were able to do that as humans.
Oh, absolutely.
There was a James Bond character called Mary Goodhead.
And...
You're kidding.
Was it?
No, of course he was.
You know what they're like, the old Bond movies.
Wow.
So if this ended up happening with earthlings,
you're going to see people with old heads,
and it doesn't mean that their bodies are going to be old,
because if they have rejuvenated,
you could have a 20-year-old looking body,
which is actually only three weeks old,
and an old head.
Yeah.
Because you can't regenerate the head
under the sea slug law.
Oh, my God, that's so true.
Oh, wow.
There's a new perspective on hooking into cougars,
male or female,
because, look, don't judge a body by its head.
Is that going to be one of the new things that comes out?
Is that the new saying?
That's going to be, hey,
and there's another t-shirt.
Boom.
Don't judge a body by its head, guys.
How many times have I had to tell you?
Oh, my God.
That's brilliant.
Should we do this hovering ship?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
All right.
So this is a guy who was walking along the coast of Cornwall,
and this is a photo that he took of a ship
hovering in the air.
And so when I say ship, I don't mean a spaceship.
I mean a ship that you would see normally
on the surface of the ocean,
hovering up above the air.
Now, there's a scientific reason behind this.
The idea is that this is still on the water,
but it's an optical illusion
because the air has created the idea
that the horizon ends a lot closer to us
than where the ship is.
There's been a whole history of people reporting ghost ships
and flying ships and so on,
which possibly could be this.
But that is an amazing image.
Well, imagine seeing that,
because apparently that looks exactly
how it would have looked to the naked eye.
That's not an optical illusion of a camera.
You would have seen a ship hovering in the air.
But interestingly, it's a phenomenon
which is now being touted as responsible
for various mysteries of the ocean as well.
So the Titanic sinking, there's a thought
that they didn't see the iceberg coming
because of this optical illusion,
because it looked completely plain sea
and suddenly, boom, out of nowhere,
there was this giant iceberg,
but it wasn't allowing them to see it.
And the same thing with the ship that went to rescue it
saw this illusion and thought the ship was okay.
I don't understand that bit,
because my memory of the movie
is it was sort of diagonally out of the water.
Well, that's before it went to that point.
Yeah, and possibly it was also that the illusion
made it so that they couldn't see the ship at all.
And so they were like,
oh, we didn't see a ship to go and save.
I would rebuttal those comments with the idea
that someone sees or comes up with one illusion idea
and then everyone jumps on that illusion bandwagon
and says, oh, yeah, that'll be why this happened
or that explains why we thought the iceberg was floating.
It's an annoying optical illusion,
because it attempts to knock out
any other person's experience
of maybe seeing something weird.
Yeah.
So as cool as it, I mean, there's two sides to this.
There's the science side, which is awesome
that your eyes can be bent to a different reality
where it looks as if something is hovering.
And that's really amazing.
But at the same time, it does arm people
with the ability to now say,
oh, I bet it was that optical illusion.
You didn't actually see a hovering ship.
What if they did see a hovering ship?
There's always a yin and yang to these things.
That's exactly it.
And that is one of the real juxtaposition issues
with paranormal activity,
because science does go up against it and go,
oh, yeah, well, there is actually a scientific answer
to what you're experiencing.
It doesn't mean it is the only option.
I mean, how many ways are there to skin a cat?
You know, no one knows the answer to that, by the way.
But there are hovering ships.
But it's really important to get more than one side
to your coin.
Most people get two.
And here it is.
Here's the scientific side to the paranormal coin
of floating ships.
Back in the day, like sort of pirate ship days,
imagine that awesome phenomenon thing happening
whilst you're a pirate.
If you're out there and there's people there
looking at your pirate ship there,
which is a badass ship already,
but then it looks like it's floating
and the legends that would come is like,
Black Bad Ship can fly.
It'd be like, oh, no, it's floating with my own eyes.
It'd be amazing.
You'd almost want to try and engineer that to happen.
Yeah, it's true.
I think as well.
By the way, Button, some of you said earlier,
I thought it was really poignant.
What, really?
Come on, Dan.
No.
It was bound to happen.
You're just trying to make him feel better
because he can't pronounce phenomenon.
Thanks, Dan.
I promise not to make your microphone sound bad next week.
You've got some sort of secret deal going down you, too.
So when he screws up, then comes through
and gives him a massive compliment.
Well, I need a new person, a new shining star
to lift me up now.
See?
Because you've ruined me because my mic's there.
I've given you exactly.
The very important mantle to Dan.
Anyway, I don't want to digress.
Back to you, Dan, something poignant I said.
You said a really poignant thing,
which is I think often, you know, we go about our days
and we have the stresses of life mortgages
and health and family and friends and everything,
you know, makes us forget the extraordinaryness
of being alive in this insane universe.
It really makes us forget it and we're dull to it.
And these little moments like thinking you're seeing
a floating ship or thinking that you're seeing
John Connor bursting through the skies,
even if it's not what it could be, like an alien,
even if your thing buttons, as you say,
might turn out to be something very explainable,
it's the feeling that you get that reminds you
of the insanity of the universe of what we're in.
We forget that feeling, which we should be having
every moment of every day because it is nuts.
We're conscious beings in an otherwise,
as far as we know, unconscious universe,
where the universe observing itself, it's insane.
And we forget that.
So it's really cool those moments.
Now that is a poignant thing to say.
Not so much what Buttons was attempting.
I alluded to the poignancy.
I was like, I was just, I was doing the condensed poignancy
because I knew we're short on time.
Condensed poignancy.
Or is it just a hopeful allude?
I was the inspiration behind the poignancy, okay?
The poignancy that Dan just laid upon us.
It was a latent poignancy at deep, well thought out from Dan.
But to be fair, he's had like about 10 or 15 minutes
to take that little seed of poignancy,
that little weed germination of poignancy,
and he grew it into this wonderful tree of poignancy.
But what came first?
The seed or the tree?
Well, the seed, didn't it?
Well, I suppose we should be happy
that you're at least delivering a couple of mystery seeds now
and again that turn and flourish into poignant trees.
That's, hey, you know, there's many more where that came from.
Going back to illusions and the world as it is
and how we see it and how we don't see it.
And this seems to be the subject matter of this episode.
How the universe can still surprise us if we look up,
particularly if there's a guy in the bushes
on a communication system telling the future time traveller
to appear now.
I think, yeah, I think one of the great things, you know,
sort of piggybacking on Dan's amazing poignant moment,
which came from, you know, your very hopeful mystery seed buttons.
There are things that we do see or we think we see
that might have a scientific answer to it,
but we see the hovering boats and to bring up another news item,
which was sent to us by one of the fans.
This woman captured a photograph of a tiny humanoid
and this comes from Wigan today
and indeed was actually sent to me by Tom,
the guy who set up the Cryptid Factor Facebook fan site, I think.
Yeah, Tom Hoddan.
So he's, yeah, he sent, he actually on the thing here,
sent quite a few things.
One for buttons, one for Reese, one for Dan.
So the one I'm looking at now was for you, Dan, to discuss.
I don't know why he's looked at the different personalities
and thought these would be the items that these would come up.
By the way, yours buttons was about,
there was a packet of crayons that was on special.
So I don't know, that's got nothing to do with anything.
But anyway, going back to this...
I know you're stealing Dan's news, great.
But at least you've declared that you've stolen it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A woman was out walking her dog,
snapping off some pictures on her new smartphone camera,
couldn't believe her eyes when she got home
and looked through the images.
And how many times have we heard that premise before?
It's a classical one, right?
Well said.
But in her own words, Melissa Brayham from St. Helen's recalls,
it was my birthday recently,
and as a gift, I received a new smartphone.
Now, I don't even believe that,
because who gets a smartphone given to them as a gift?
It's always an item you go and buy.
Yeah, that's very true.
Okay, Melissa, so that's wrong.
No one's bought me a smartphone and I'm gone,
I don't want that model.
You choose your own, it's like...
Anyway, I digress, but you know...
Yes, you do.
Anyway, I don't think that's a good start to her story here,
but she's out walking the dog,
she's got her smartphone,
which, I mean, basically, these days it's just a phone, isn't it?
It's pretty hard to buy a cellular phone that isn't smart.
To be fair, they've been smart for quite a while.
I mean, even the early versions of cell phones, very smart.
And in fact, they're getting slightly smarter,
but they're not really much smarter
than they were 10 years ago, to be fair.
They've just got the internet and a good camera on them.
But, you know, the devil is in the details.
So she took this photo, and indeed it could be the devil,
if you look into the details,
of the photo, that's what she took a photo of.
Oh, what?
Look at that little humanoid.
Yeah.
That is out of it.
The strange thing is, she didn't see that until she got home.
It's a glowing white, small humanoid.
Well, here's the actual photo.
That's a zoomed-in one.
Ah.
Can you spot that little humanoid?
No.
Yeah, yeah.
He's in the left-hand corner by the pole,
big pole buttons.
Ah, yes, I see it.
Like a little white tear.
He still sticks out like a sore thumb, though, to me.
You still would see that with your eyes, visually.
Oh, yeah.
If that was walking across the road,
you're going to notice.
But apparently she didn't.
But maybe it was interdimensional
and only came through in the photograph,
but not to the naked eye,
which fits in with this whole illusion thing.
If we go back to the zoom-in image,
you can see that it does have a shadow, the image.
Oh, it does.
The little humanoid.
Okay, can I just point something out?
That's a very sharp and dark shadow
compared to all the other shadows around it,
if you see that.
Yeah.
I was thinking that the shadow looked a little too good.
It looks like a flash has gone off on only that part
and nothing else.
But we've got nothing to compare it against for the shadow, do we?
Yeah, well, that's true.
So while you guys are rambling,
I'll just mention a bit here.
One researcher pointed out that the figure does look 2D
and lacks detail, as some pointed out.
She said the photo was 100% correct
for the bright, sunny conditions
and that he would not expect to see much detail
unless it was cloudy and dull.
And the reason for the 2D look is the distance,
size of the figure and the bright sunlight all over it.
He also pointed out that if the figure is a genuine
extraterrestrial shapeshifting wormhole traveling entity,
then how do we know how such a creature would appear
to the human eye?
Good point.
Very good point.
She says, I never saw the figure at the time of taking the photo.
I was just taking a quick test snap to try out the camera.
Yeah, I don't far be it from me to Pupu,
somebody's eyewitness account
because lots of people are probably Pupu
in my one right now, including you two.
I still maintain, Captain Pupu,
I still maintain that if you look at the original image there
and you're taking a photo,
you would see that little thing down there.
Exactly because it looks like it's walking
and so if it was moving, you would definitely see it.
Yeah, her shadow is pretty sharp there.
Look at her shadow.
Yeah, well, that's what I was just about to say, Dan.
Very poignant point you raised previously
if I can just expand on that,
that the foreground, all of the other shadows are...
You can't expand on his poignancy.
No, I'm just trying to repay the poignancy pointing outness.
Right, okay.
And he was very poignant before and I think...
I thought you're trying to take credit for his poignancy
and try and expand it into something bigger
that you can then take ownership of.
Yeah, you're doing the reverse
because I came out with a fully formed tree.
You're now reducing it to a seed.
And then I'm going to grow it into my own tree.
You're climbing his poignant tree with a small shrub
and you're getting to the top
and just sticking your shrub out and going,
no, it's my tree.
Look at what it is.
I've got the tallest branch on it.
So what were you going to say?
Okay, well, I was just going to back up
my criticism of the shadow and say,
her shadow in the foreground is very sharp.
So therefore, all of the dull shadows that are around
must be from trees that are much further back
that are dappled or something like that.
Yeah.
And call it a mystery seed that might need watering by Dan,
but what is one single tiny humanoid multi-dimensional
creature doing just wandering around?
What?
In the middle, like even if it's come through
into our dimension, why?
What's just on his own?
No, there's no, you know, like, what's he doing?
He doesn't have any equipment with him,
no spade, no backpack for samples.
He's just literally fully nude walking around
in our world.
That's E.T.
Did you hate the movie E.T. for that reason as well?
What are you doing here?
Just walking around?
Where's your backpack?
And there it is.
There's your poignancy tree created by Dan.
See, that's what he's here for.
Yeah.
Look at E.T.
He was just a naked dude walking around in the background
until he found some kid's shed to hide it.
Well, you've answered my question.
You've answered my observation.
The seed has grown and been chopped down.
It's either that or it could be like a small pixie type.
It could be of our dimension, but a mythical creature
that is just, you know, scurrying from one place to another
to their little village.
And being caught in our world.
Don't go out there because, you know, you might get caught.
OK, you're going to go on your own.
Well, I want to steal someone's keys.
Well, you know, that's a classic.
We've always been accused of stealing people's keys.
If you're going to do it, do it on your own.
Because if you get photographed, I don't want you
and your younger brother and all your cousins there with you.
No, that'll be a dead giveaway.
So just go on your own.
Go naked, OK?
And go be in the distance, OK?
Well, I want to steal keys when I'm naked.
Look, it's going to be a better look for them.
But I'll think it's a 2D image.
They're into weird illusion stuff, OK?
Where am I going to put the keys when I steal the keys?
Just, I don't know.
I don't know why you even steal anyone's keys.
We're too little to drive their cars.
See what happened there?
You took my little seed of poignancy
and it's like you chopped it up into little smaller seeds.
I chopped it up very finely
and then I lined it in a little line and I've sniffed it.
And that's the result.
I love the idea that no aliens want to be naked
but do it just for the photos to not be believed.
Yeah.
They're like super advanced race.
They've got the best fashion in the world.
They land down.
All right, take your clothes off.
Come on.
What?
Do a nudy run.
Nudy run.
That's it.
Time-travelling multi-dimensional creatures
are just doing streaker runs.
It's a deer.
Go down to Earth.
We've ended here.
Just take your clothes off.
Go, streak it. Run.
Go.
They'll get a photo.
It'll be hilarious.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
Oh, I'm going to have to check this photo out when I get home.
That's maybe what they post on the future Instagrams.
They go, hey, it's a trend.
It's like you go back in time.
You get a photo taken of you doing a nudy run.
And then in the future, you pick that up and go,
ah, post it up and go, oh, this is me being caught
and caught in 2021, all of the 2,000 years ago.
It's an Instagram craze of the future.
Oh, man.
Time is moving on.
What time's your big movie?
11 o'clock.
It's a half an hour's time.
Yeah, I got a Zoom call that really matters.
So I think let's move on to some cryptid buzz
because there's definitely some animal stuff
to talk about this week.
Attention, all personnel, it's time for this week's cryptid.
Help me!
Rhys, do you want to sort of like give us an overview
of all of your animal-y stuff?
And then that might give me an opportunity to say
that one of them I already had
so that I can sound like I've got something.
I knew it.
I knew that as soon as I came up with that great con idea
that you'd use it as fast as you can
and you're literally using it in the same show
on the next section.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, it's a great premise.
Well, you're not going to be able to find this stuff
because I won't tell you where it was from.
But there's many news items out there
about cryptids this week sent to us
by one of the fans.
This one is Dave who sent us this.
There's been an attack in the North Hamptonshire Woods.
So over your way down,
this was in the North Hamptonshire Telegraph.
A panther reportedly attacked a dog.
Okay, so we're looking at a big cat.
An ABC has attacked a regular dog.
I'll go into it so that you guys have got more time
to have a look for other cryptid news.
Pizzali, I'll add it into yours,
but I've also got a whales big cat sighting
that has happened.
This is super hot off the press.
This is an hour old news.
Oh, wow.
Okay, well, that's exciting.
Now that you've mentioned the date, Dan,
it's drawn my eyes to just quickly check out the date
on this one which was sent to us
and unfortunately, the date is the 15th of October, 2019.
We don't clear our messages very often, by the way.
So Dave, actually, you know what?
I wonder when Dave actually did send this.
This might have been a couple of years ago.
He got hold of us again recently and said,
do you have news, Manu?
I'm sick of supplying news that you don't use.
I'm tapping out.
He doesn't listen anymore.
There's no point covering this up.
Dave's gone.
Dave, I'm not even going to cover this news.
It is too old.
Thanks for sending it.
If you could see your news in a more timely fashion.
But for those of you that do want to check it out,
it was a couple of years ago, a panther reportedly
attacked a dog.
There was a couple out walking with their dog.
So that would have been good.
That would have been good news.
Two years ago.
Well, a little bit of news that I've got is that
Oklahoma, I'll just check the date.
Make sure it is current.
Oklahoma, big foot bounty grows to more than $2 million.
If you catch a big foot and bring it into the state officials,
you get $2 million now.
Right.
What was it before?
It used to be $25,000 bounty.
That is a hell of a jump.
That's a big jump.
That is a huge big jump.
What has happened?
What's happened that's made it more serious?
Imagine somebody's got a big foot in their back yard going,
I'm just going to wait.
I reckon the price for this big foot is going to go up exponentially.
Yeah, Sasquatches have become an investment.
So if you do catch your one, just hold on to them.
Don't reveal it straight away.
Wait for the bounty to go up.
This was reported in the New York Post.
Is that what you're reading?
I've got it on Fox News.
But are you trying to steal my big foot?
I mean, we can share if you want.
Do you want to share the big foot news?
I already have this.
Ah, right.
Ah, this is a reverse con.
This is where the con man gets conned.
I've seen these movies.
I love these movies.
Ah, wow.
So you mentioned this, but I unfortunately already had it.
So you've left me in an awkward position here to do the reverse con.
Let me read what it says.
If big foot is out there, he better get out of Oklahoma.
Just weeks after state rep Justin Humphrey presented a bill to capture the mythical creature,
the bounty, which was originally a paltry 25 grand has ballooned to 2.1 million.
So this is the first time the listeners have heard this.
It's coming fresh from me.
So Humphrey says his ultimate goal is to draw in tourists by providing safe, affordable fun.
What?
Unless, of course, big foot is real and puts up a fight.
I don't think it's going to be that safe.
Well, the other interesting thing that they're doing to make money off this,
which is actually really quite clever in a lot of ways, is they're turning it into a promotional campaign,
which will include them selling license plates, decals, an annual commemorative tracking license,
and big foot checkout stations.
So they're going big and they're going hard on it.
Not outside of just the bounty.
I mean, I'd have one.
You guys would have one.
I'm sure lots of people had all of our listeners would buy one.
So it's actually a good little money-making scheme, a tourism venture.
Yeah.
That's a lot of these towns.
They need that, don't they?
They need the thing to help them survive.
And I love it.
I remember the only time I've been to Loch Ness and Reese, you've been a few times.
Buttons, I don't know if you've ever made it up there.
Oh, I haven't.
I haven't bought it.
You know, it's one of those things I'll get there one day.
Take it or leave it, guys.
Take it or leave it.
Whatever.
It's just Loch Ness.
It's just a monster.
It's just green flashes.
He'll be in the bushes.
The gift shops at Loch Ness, particularly the sort of like official one where the Loch
Ness Center is just awesome.
It's the best shop.
You feel like you're walking into a Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
It's, you know, between the t-shirts and the coasters and the hats and the stuffed toys
and the postcards and the books.
I love it.
Every time I go into a town, if someone's dedicated themselves to a mystery and made
merch of it, I'm in.
Yeah, because it brings you happiness.
There's still the mystery.
There's still, as we were mentioning earlier, that feeling you get that there's something
out there that is inexplainable.
But instead of, you know, watching Netflix being your only joy, the universe itself
and its many mysteries, that becomes a joy.
And if it can, then yeah, why not buy the plush toy that goes with it?
Yeah.
Well, hey, listen, here's a interesting thing.
Just while we're on Loch Ness for a second, there was a story that was in the news a few
weeks back, which is that a scientist called Henry Bauer has claimed that he's figured
out what Nessie actually is.
So always lots of different theories that Nessie isn't necessarily a plesiosaur.
It might be a giant sea snake or, you know, there's all these sort of, you know, what
is it?
What could it be?
So his theory is that it's a type of undiscovered turtle that got trapped in the Loch many,
many years ago.
So this guy's a former professor at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University.
And he says that his quote is the most popular idea is that Loch Ness Monster has a relationship
to extinct plesiosaurs, but this is difficult to square with the reality with the rarity
of surface sightings, let alone occasional sightings on land.
On the other hand, everything described for Loch Ness Monster squares with many living
and extinct species of turtles.
Their air breathing, they spend very long periods in deep water, they venture onto land
and are very fast in water, have the ability to be active in very cold water and have relatively
long necks.
Turtles also, turtles do lay eggs and we've never found land-based turtle eggs of this
supposed Loch Ness monster if it is a turtle.
So this is just a latest theory.
It's pretty interesting as a latest theory, but just to square into something we were
talking about earlier, other theories about what it might be, this article brought up
sort of old ideas of what Loch Ness Monster could be if it wasn't a plesiosaur.
And one version was from Ted Holiday and he came to the conclusion that Nessie was in
fact a giant version of a slug, of a sea slug.
I like this, I like this.
Yeah, because if Nessie is one entity and not a family, it is possible that maybe Nessie's
got a very old neck and head but has been regenerating its body this whole time and
that's what Nessie is, it's the bod ugly head.
And that completes the t-shirt.
The phrase is don't judge a body by its head and there's a picture of Loch Ness with a
beautiful, really hot, slimy body with a really old wiggly head, what's the t-shirt?
That's a good t-shirt, yeah.
I want an elderly sort of turtle head, very elderly maybe with a pipe sticking out of
its mouth and an old cheese cutter with a tartan pom pom, a very wrinkly old neck and
then under the water an absolutely gorgeous sleek 23 year old sea serpent body with well
manicured nails on its turtle feet.
This is basically an audio brief being sent via podcast to Melissa who did the thylacine
image for us.
So if it back to the tortoise theory, if it was the tortoises, do tortoises like a pack
of tortoises, do they swim in a straight line?
Because that could then...
No.
Well, I'm just saying.
You're thinking of ducks.
Well, I'm just wondering because if they do, you know, the classic old Nessie image
with the humps in the water, it could just be multiple tortoises all swimming in a line
which looks like humps and the first one's got their neck up looking around like almost
like a periscope kind of going, all the other ones have got their neck down because they
swim faster with their neck down.
And so it just looked like all these humps in the water.
But hang on, if they swim faster with their necks down, then they'd catch up to the one
at the front.
And you'd get this bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.
Hey, keep your neck down, George.
I've got to see where we're going, guys.
You guys are going to slow down and make sure you're all in a perfect line.
So we look like a Loch Ness monster.
Okay.
Well, look, finally, while we're still on, don't judge a body by its head.
I want to bring this one up.
It's another one from Tom.
I really love it because it's a werewolf encounter which comes with a drawing.
And so this was in the metro.
The date, unfortunately, even further back, we're looking at, we're looking at the seventh
of April, 2016.
But have a look at this.
Have a look at this.
This is the drawing.
Oh, that is amazing.
So that's very good.
That's the creature they saw.
Here's the actual couple holding the drawing.
Oh, they are wonderful.
They saw a werewolf.
Yeah, so they came face to face with this fearsome creature in the Cotswolds.
Robert Ingram and his wife, Nicola, insist it was some sort of big cat, but the animal
has been dubbed the werewolf of Wichester because of the drawing of it.
So to describe that, there is the picture of that werewolf looked like, dare I say it,
and sorry to be a little bit derogatory to the Ingram's drawing skills, but it looks
like an 11-year-old kid has tried to draw Reese as a werewolf from what we do in the
shadows.
It's pretty, it's pretty amazing.
But you can't expect everyone, you know, there's no rule that you can only go out looking for
phenomena if you're a good artist, you know, these people had phenomena thrust onto them.
They didn't ask for it.
They didn't ask for a werewolf.
I haven't even tried to draw my green flash.
It's like, you know, these guys at least went that step further and tried to draw it.
Do you know the best part about this story, even though it's what, we're almost five years
old now, the fact that I've brought it up and mentioned it means that it definitely happened
for these people using our theory.
They've been waiting for it to happen.
They've been waiting six years for it to happen.
Even though it happened for them and they did the drawing and it was even in the news,
you know, it's not till now that I've brought it up years later that now they can actually
sleep at night thinking, oh, well, it definitely happened.
So I've done that for you guys.
Well done.
What a nice guy.
It's called giving it the green streak.
You can see as much stuff as you like, but if you don't bring it up later and give it
the green streak, then it hasn't happened.
Well, it ties back to the aliens, the green, little green aliens doing the green streaks.
Have they misunderstood your patent, your future patent?
Hey guys, I'm going to do the green streak.
You've got it wrong, guys.
You've got it wrong, you aliens.
No.
Why is it every time I invent a new thing, I have to go back in time and run naked through
ancient planet Earth?
Doesn't make any sense.
The button's green streak.
We don't question it.
That phenomenon didn't happen unless you go back in time.
Yeah, do the green streak.
Hey, listen, I genuinely have news that is an hour old.
It's the most crypto buzzer this show has ever been.
So this is a big cat in Cheshire.
So in recent months, there's been a lot of big cat sightings in northern Wales
and into the border of Cheshire.
So latest encounter is that this was spotted in the headline was big cat
sighting near the Manchester ship canal in Warrington.
Person says that he saw a panther from his kitchen window.
It was 11 a.m. Saturday, February 13th.
So he's obviously reported it only more recently and it's made the news.
He saw the mysterious creature walking on the old railway embankment
which runs along Manchester ship canal.
In a report to Puma Watch, North Wales, a group set up to document
and investigate such sightings.
How cool is that?
That's awesome. Puma Watch.
He said the creature was far too big to be a dog and had a long tail
more akin to a cat.
Says I was at the kitchen sink and I looked out the window
and noticed a creature walking along the railway line.
In the first instance, I thought it was a large dog.
I looked for an owner, but no owner appeared.
Then the animal proceeded to walk down the embankment, then disappeared
behind the trees as it came closer.
You could clearly see it was too large for a dog.
Also, its tail was too.
It's basically we're repeating the same facts about six times in this article.
Did I mention it was definitely not a dog?
It had a large cat, a large tail.
The whole kitchen sitting down is that I'll mention it a few more times.
This is probably the most freshest news that we've ever delivered.
So unfortunately, when the listeners hear this, it'll be, you know,
a week and a half old.
But at the moment, guys, this is this is the most fresh news we've ever had.
And coming straight off after five year old news as well.
Do you know what, talking of timely news and old news
that I just had a look in our messages on Facebook.
So a person called Rachel Kress sent to us some amazing news
on the 15th of October in 2020,
which is a USPS employee reports seven foot
red eyed creature at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago,
which is clearly the Mothman and follows on the Mothman sightings in Chicago,
which have been happening a great deal,
which is an amazing headline and great piece of news.
And one of us and not naming who wrote back
straight after says, yes, we'll report on this week.
Dot dot dot or next.
So it's not like we're even just ignoring the news
and then reporting on it years later.
We're actually baiting them and saying, yeah, no, tune in.
It'll know definitely going to cover that.
Amazing. Thank you.
So it's terrible.
Why do people put up with us?
Let's do this.
Look, we're we're busy, but you've got to reply.
And by the way, we have reported on it.
You've just done it.
So exactly. Exactly.
Yeah. The actual reply from us was, yes,
we'll report on this this week, comma or next dot dot.
So therefore it is a clever way of answering.
I do recall it was myself doing it
because it's not necessarily this week or next week.
It's or next dot dot, which actually is next year.
What's dot dot in in Morse, Rhys?
Oh, dot dot I. OK.
It makes no sense.
It's the letter on.
Are there any Morse code podcasts?
I'd love to see Rhys hosting a Morse code
podcast where you just talk in dots and dashes with your guests.
Oh, my God.
This with the whole things in Morse.
Yeah, that's called ham radio.
Oh, yeah, brilliant.
But it's great because ham also refers to an actor, doesn't it?
So ham radio could be you telling theatrical anecdotes in Morse code
and all your guests could be fellow hams as well.
Yeah, I'm I'm going to pitch it.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
Well, I'm very concerned that it is seven minutes to your very important.
Oh, yes.
To your Hollywood.
Hollywood Zoom call.
Would you mind if we stayed on the Zoom call in the background?
Yes, I would.
Well, we can help out.
We can help you.
The last thing I want is a couple of drongos in the background
with weird microphones and headphones on.
Mr. Lucas.
Mr. Lucas, can I just say he's real funny.
And there's a show we could do in Morse code, Mr. Lucas.
No, I've got to put no way.
I have I'm putting my professional voice on and I'll be talking very officially.
So I don't you quickly before you go shows your official voice.
I've never heard that.
Yeah, to be like this.
Oh, yes. Hello.
Absolutely. Yes.
Well, I was actually looking through the script
and I've got a couple of points for you guys.
My dialogue appears to be a little on the thin side.
What if we wait it up a bit
and just push my character through, right, right?
OK, I see.
So you just want me sort of in there for five minutes
just when the audience is starting to experience a call.
Right. Right. Right.
Usual story. Now, that's cool. That's cool.
Excuse me, Mr. Lucas.
He could do that line in Morse.
He could do that in Morse code, Mr. Lucas.
So that's my dopey mate in the background there.
What, you want to talk to him?
No, no, you do not want to talk to him.
No, you don't. Talk to my agent.
No, Mr. Lucas, you'll have to talk to my agent.
Yes, unfortunately, he has signed up with this agency as well.
So, oh, God, look, honestly.
Buttons, if I lose this job to you, I'll be so annoyed.
Can you get off the line?
What's that? Sorry, Mr. Spielberg.
Oh, God, he wants to talk to you. OK.
Well, first of all, Mr. Spielberg,
can I please apologise for calling you, Mr. Lucas?
I get you two mixed up all the time, but outside of that, I'd be...
I'd love to do the roll.
Did you get that, Mr. Spielberg?
I just sent you through a message.
Yeah, you might want to try and decipher that.
That's what I really think of that job.
Yeah, I've been... I'm on a bad mic.
I've been on a bad mic for this show,
so it's one of the weakest ones we've done this season, unfortunately.
Well, I've got to go.
Yeah, you've got to go.
It's now two minutes until you're important call.
I've got anxiety for you.
OK, see you, guys.
OK. Bye, guys.
Bye, boys!