The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Between the Scenes - When the TSA Post-Checks After a Pre-Check

Episode Date: August 26, 2018

Trevor chats with an audience member who had to change his name after 9/11. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. One of the most interesting stories I read today was the TSA
Starting point is 00:00:23 is planning to unroll a program where they say they want to get rid of airport screening at small airports. Wow, you were like, you were quick. You were just, oh, that's so fun. This is the funniest thing. I said the TSA wants to get rid of airport screening, he went, woo, and then he just went like this. I feel like you're like I get randomly selected way too much. Is that what it is? Even after you say pre-check.
Starting point is 00:00:54 You pre-check? And they said even if you pay it, it doesn't necessarily count. Wow. Wait, so you got pre-check and you still get checked. So they're like now we need post-check for you. We need post- for you. We need post check. What's your name? Salman Karani. You speak Salman Mohammed? Your name was Salman Mohammed? Okay. Wait, are you being serious? You know what's great? I'll tell you the person I've had a name with a name that had more trouble than you. I met a gentleman in the UK and he has never been allowed into America because his name is jihad.
Starting point is 00:01:29 And so that's his normal name. And jihad, if you know anything about Islam, it's about the internal struggle a person faces every day in their lives. It's not about like blowing shit up necessarily. You can use it whatever it is. And so jihad is about the struggle you face as a human being in your life. Every religion has a different word for it. But so he was telling me his story. But what was funny was I was I didn't know he's like, hey man America won't let me into the country.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I was like why and he's like, oh, oh, because I'm like, this is disgusting, this disgusting, this, this, this, I, I, I, I, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. tha, th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tell, tell, tell, tell, tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tel. tell, tel. tel. tel. tell, oh. I was like, yeah, I was like, here's the thing. I mean, I get where you're coming from. But in America's defense, imagine if you were the like, TSA guy who let him in. And then they would be like, Barry, like, his name was jihad. And he's like, I know, I just thought I don't know, it's not, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's. the, it's. the, it's. the, it's, it's. the, it, it's, it's, it's, it's. the, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's. the, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's like, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it's like, like, like, it's like, like, like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's like, it's like, but I just thought I thought it was like a friendly jihad? Like, so like I, you know, it's not, it's not a good thing but, but it's weird that you have the pre-check, but but anyway, then you'd be excited by this news. They said that the TSA's planning to cut, they want to get rid of TSA pre-checks and security at small airports because they say it costs it cost it cost it cost it cost th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's their, thi, thi, it's tho, it's tho, it's tho, it's the, it's the, it's their their their their their their their, it's their, it's their, it, it, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, it's their, their, the, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thrown, togs, tha, thauu. thau. thr-a, thr-a, thr-a, thr-a cost them too much money to scan all the people and then like a lot of people are opposed to it because they're like yo it's still an airport and and then they were saying
Starting point is 00:02:50 yeah but we just don't think that terrorists care about the smaller planes and I was like isn't it so funny that like because you know when you're flying from those little shitty planes that nobody likes. You know the tiny ones with no overhead and like it's two and then one but like everyone has squashed together. And I was just like I was just thinking how funny would it be if there is no security and then like they get on the plane and then like everyone hates those planes and they hate flying into those regional flights so much. They're like one day a terrorist does try to blow it up. And he. And he. And he. And he. And he's. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's like, I's like, I was like, I's like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I's like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I'm just, like, like, I'm just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm just like, like, like, like, I'm just like, I'm just like, I, man, we don't, this. They're like, yeah, just get us out of our misery. This is, look at this plane. Just, yeah, just ended now, man.
Starting point is 00:03:29 Ended now. And, like, I feel like he wouldn't even have enough space to hijack one of those planes. You'd be in your seats and then you'd be like, I'm taking this plaque! Ah, ah, ah, ah! The Daily Show with Cover Noa, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and the Comedy Central Act. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on
Starting point is 00:03:58 YouTube for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.

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