The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Cardi B Slams the Government Shutdown as Unpaid Workers Resort to Crowdfunding | Don Cheadle
Episode Date: January 18, 2019Michael Cohen admits to paying for rigged pro-Trump polls, Michael Kosta sees crowdfunding as a solution to the government shutdown, and Don Cheadle discusses "Black Monday." Learn more about your ad...-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You're listening to Comedy Central.
John Stewart here.
Unbelievably exciting news.
My new podcast, The Weekly Show.
We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
January 17, 2019.
From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York,
this is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Oh yeah, welcome everybody.
Welcome to the Daily Show. Thank you so much and thank you for tuning in.
I appreciate that. I'm Trevor Noah. Our guest tonight, I could not be a bigger fan.
You've seen him in everything from Iron Man to House of Lives. And tonight he's here to talk about his new Showtime series, Black Monday.
Don Cheetel is here everybody.
But first, but first we've got to get into the news.
And look guys, I'm not going to lie.
There is just too much news today.
How much news is there?
What's that?
Well, it's so much news that we don't have enough time for it. Luckily, not enough time is just enough time for our segment.
Ain't nobody got time for that.
Collusion.
It's the big question about the Trump campaign and Russia.
But one place where there's definitely no collusion is between Rudy Giuliani's brain and his mouth.
In a new interview, the president's personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, says he cannot
say if Trump campaign officials colluded with Russia during the 2016 campaign.
False reporting is saying that there has been no suggestion of any kind of collusion between
the campaign and any Russians.
Well, you just misstated my position.
I never said there was no collusion between the campaign or between people in the campaign. I have no idea. I have not. I said the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. You th. You th. You th. You just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just th. You just th. You just th. You just th. You th. th. th. You just th. th. th. th. today tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha. Well t. Well t. Well t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tr. tr. tr. tr. truu. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. true. tru. true. t. the campaign or between people in the campaign? I have no idea if... I have not. I said the President of the United States.
Wait. Wait, hold on. Did Giuliani just admit that there was collusion?
Yes, I think he did. And look at their faces, like, neither of them can believe what just happened.
Like, like, Cuomo looks like a valedictorian caveman, and Giuliani looks like if
Gollim realized he just left his wallet in an Uber.
It's just like, my precious.
So after months of saying there's no collusion, now Giuliani is saying there might be
collusion.
Not by Trump, but by Trump's campaign.
And I'll be honest, I don't know why Trump keeps letting Giuliani go on TV to represent him.
Like, because it feels like every time he goes on, it just causes more trouble.
Unless, unless, that's the point.
Maybe the master plan is to keep creating so many new scandals that Robert Mueller can never finish his investigation.
Yeah. Every time Mueller's like, well, I'm just about ready to wrap this thing up. Giuliani's like, I hope no one finds out that Vladimir Putin is secretly Trump's father.
Then Mueller's like, oh, two more years, two more years.
Now look, we could spend all day playing you clips of Trump denying that there was any collusion whatsoever.
But we don't have the time to enjoy busting Trump, because another one of his minions has been busted for some other shady shit.
Breaking news on these two bombshell reports. President Trump, first, his former fixer and personal attorney Michael Cohen, just admitted to paying to manipulate polling data before
the 2016 presidential election. Now, according to the Wall Street Journal,
Cohen paid using a Walmart bag full of cash
that could break campaign finance laws.
And Cohen says he did this at the direction and for the sole benefit of the President of the United States.
A Walmart bag full of cash?
This is such a strange story.
And it's crazy that Michael Cohen was rigging polls for Trump while Trump was out there
complaining that the polls were rigged.
You realize this is proof again that whenever Trump accuses anyone of doing something
wrong, he's actually just talking about himself.
He's like, the polls are rigged folks.
And also, Hillary's very disappointed that her sons look like pervy vampires.
And now look, on a normal day, we would spend forever on the idiots that work for the
Trump campaign.
But there's no time.
Because it turns out that we, or maybe the real idiots, you know that the 10-year challenge?
Yeah, you know the thing online?
Yes? You know that the the 10-year challenge? Yeah, you know the thing online? Yes Well it turns out that tech companies could now use this to enhance their facial recognition technology
Yeah, we've basically helped the robots track us and you might think memes like the 10-year challenge and the twinning app are cute and fun
But it turns out there's a real sinister side to them and please trust me. I know The twinning yeah, you're familiar with this whole twinning thing that would right you put your face on there and then
It finds oh yes celebrity
That you look most like so they did us too apparently
Yes, and it kind of ranks out of their percentage wise okay. Chuckster chuckster's up
sure. the thirty.
That's funny.
Trevor, nah, yeah, I don't know.
Ernie.
Marco Rubio.
You look like more Rocco Rubio than yourself?
Yeah, funny.
Trevor Noah.
Okay, what?
What?
What?
This is just, I know Ito this app, I'm the love child of Charles Barkley and that
white dude's bow tie.
I don't even understand what this is.
Do you understand what a disaster this is for me, right?
You realize that robots think that I look like, throwns, throwns.
That means in the future, I can't believe you cheated on me with Charles Barkley. And the rule will be like, sorry, I was 59% sure it was you, baby.
To make it up to you, you can put it in my other socket tonight.
Oh, and speaking of look-a-liks, the USB port. And speaking of look-alikes, it turns out, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, he might want to ask his dad if he ever
made a secret trip to Afghanistan.
Gannett is Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has a look-alike and it took a talent show halfway
around the world to find him.
Just to you know, Trudeau, he's the one in the left.
On the right is Abdul Mattun, he is a wedding is in action. Okay, this is just weird.
All right, on the one hand, I'm 50% certain that that is not Justin Trudeau.
Okay, this is just weird.
All right, on the one hand, I'm 50% certain that that is not Justin Trudeau.
But, on the other hand, after he took that trip to India and
basically became Indian, you can never be sure anymore. And you know what, we can
actually find out for sure if it's him. All we have to do is put the Afghan
singer into the face match app and we see if there's a match that...
Oh, God damn it, man! Come on! Now look, I'm not, no, it would be great to mess around with who looks like who and
talk more about the problems technology is creating, but we don't have the time because
it turns out that big tech is also solving them.
Microsoft is pledging some big money to tackle homelessness in Seattle.
Microsoft announced a $500 million dollar commitment to preserve existing affordable housing
and spur construction of new units. $25 million of that will go to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, but, tho, but, but, but, the problem their their their their their their, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, their th. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We' the, the, the, the, the, the, to, toge. I, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge, toge. We'n. We'n. million of that will go toward philanthropic grants
to address homelessness in the area.
Yes, it turns out the mega corporation that brought us Windows
has now decided to add doors and roost as well.
But...
But...
But seriously, kudos to Microsoft for stepping up to help people struggling with housing.
At the same time, you also know that the system is broken when corporations have to step
in and do the government's job.
You know, corporations are basically like, we're winning too hard.
You know what, this is like, it's like in monopoly, right?
I do this when I'll be crushing so hard that I just start giving people money. I'll just be like, I hear, 200 for everyone, 200, 200, 200, 200,
yeah, because it's not fun if everyone around me is in jail.
And look, look, with more time,
we could delve into whether or not corporations have a responsibility
to alleviate the societal problems that they contribute to,
but we just don't have the the the the the the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time the time th's one story we have to make time for.
It is now day 27 of the longest shutdown in American history.
Funding for low-income housing is in danger.
School lunches are facing cutbacks.
And things have gotten so bad that Air Force One is now being operated by Spirit
Airlines. Poor Malani. She always pays for Trump's sins.
Look at her.
She's like, this is not the best.
Anyway, as you know,
800,000 government employees have not been paid.
The US economy is at risk of sliding into recession.
And now, even most concerning,
the shutdown,
he's even affecting the world of hip hop.
Native Bronxite Cardi B.
Now wanging on the world of hip-hop. Native Bronxite Cardi B. Now we're hanging on the government shutdown.
Hey, y'all, I just want to remind y'all
because it's been a little bit over three weeks.
Okay? It's been a little bit over three weeks.
Trump is now ordering, as in summonsing,
federal government workers to go back to work without getting paid.
I know a lot of y'all don't care because y'all don't work for the government or y'all probably don't even have a job,
but this shit is really serious, bro.
I feel like we need to take some action.
I don't know what type of action, bitch, because this is not what I do,
but bitch, I'm scared.
That is the most amazing thing ever.
That is so dope. Like, how cool would it be if Cardi B. somehow ended the shutdown, right?
Like, we find out that Trump is a major fan because Bodeck Yellow is his favorite song
and also the color of his hair? Like, that would be so insane.
And I will say this, if there's one woman who Trump won't end the shutdown for,
it's Nancy P. Because a couple of days ago, she wrote a letter asking him to postpone his State of the Union address, right, in light of the
government shutdown. And after two days learning how to write, I assume, the
president wrote a letter back. President Trump moments ago, canceling House
Speaker Nancy Pelosi's overseas trip to Brussels, Egypt, and the war zone
that is Afghanistan hours before the speaker and her congressional delegation were set to leave saying in part quote in light of
the 800,000 great American workers not receiving pay I am sure you would
agree that postponing this public relations event is totally appropriate
he goes on to write obviously if you would like to make your journey by
flying commercial that would certainly be your prerogative.
Ooh you can feel Trump said it like it's the worst thing he could think of.
If you want to fly commercial, ah.
That's hardcore though, right?
Cancelling her flight right before she's about to take off.
That's like the complete opposite of a romantic comedy.
Like I imagine Trump ran through the airport like, Nancy. Nancy, Nancy, that's something I have to tel th. And th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thel thel thel the thel the the the the the's like the's like the's like the's like the's like the's like the' the' the' that's that's the's that's that's that's that's the's the's the's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. the's like the's like thi's like thi's like thi's like thi's like theateateateateateateateateateateateateate. theateateateate. theateateate. that's like theateate. that's like that's like, Nancy, Nancy, wait, Nancy.
That's something I have to tell you.
And Pelosi was like, yes, Donald's like, Nancy,
get the fuck off the plane.
Now, now, to be fair to Trump, Nancy Pelosi's letter was a little bit snarky, right?
But it's crazy that Trump's GPS never letter was a little bit snarky, right?
But it's crazy that Trump's GPS never takes him onto the high road, right?
Because he's just like, okay, Nancy, you want to play where you're messing with the queen bitch now.
But look, Cardi B is right. Something needs to be done.
Because the government is not doing its job right now.
And everyday citizens have decided to step up.
As the shutdown drags on, some are getting desperate.
Hundreds of furloughed federal workers turning to Go Fund Me,
pleading for help to pay the bills.
Some are dipping into their savings, they're relying on credit cards,
even setting up Go Fund me pages.
The National Park Foundation has launched a campaign to collect emergency funds.
About 1,800 campaigns are raising money to help with rent, grocery, student loans, and
more.
Yes, government workers are being forced to use Go Fund Me to try and make ends meet.
For more on how people are coping with the shutdown, we turn to a man who gets shut
down at bars all the time. Michael Costa, everybody.
Thank you. People are using crowdfunding to survive. All right. Some
government workers are even raising money to help take care of national parks. What do you
make of this? Well, I think it's great, especially about the parks. I leave a lot of trash
there on the weekends. Oh, I didn't know that you go camping. I don't. I just take my trash there. I mean, why, I do you put yours on the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their theash there on the weekends. Oh, I didn't know that you go camping.
I don't. I just take my trash there.
I mean, why, where do you put yours on the curb where a lawyer could find it?
I mean, you cracked me up.
I'm all for crowdfunding to help people during the shutdown, because I love helping people.
And more than that, I love playing God. Sure, Coast Guard guard fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire fire. the the th. th. th. I. I. I'll. th. I'll. I'll. th. I'll th. th. th. I'll th. th. I'll thi. th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll their. their. their. their. their. I'll their. I'll their. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll tr. I'll tr. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. trash. their. trash. tr than that, I love playing God. You know, sure Coast Guard, firefighter, I'll throw you a Hundo, but not you, TSA, Inspector, not until I get my prescription shampoo
back. I picked up something pretty nasty when I was throwing my garbage in the woods. You
know what I'm talking about, right? No. Look, federal workers shouldn't have to depend on charity to do their jobs. I don't think that's right.
I mean, it's nice that people are stepping up, but this isn't sustainable.
Well, it could be sustainable, Trevor.
If everybody just donated to the services that they cared about, then we wouldn't even
need government.
Yeah, worried about national security?
Don't the tauk. I don't, but give to education. Want to support a handsome, high-quality entertainer?
You can send me money on Venmo.
I'm Michael Costa the comedian, Dash 4.
Dash 4?
So there's three other Michael Costa the comedian's on Venmo?
They're all me. I just keep forgetting my password.
Ah, I see. OK. But Michael, here's the thing. Widespread charity can't fix government's issues
because you can't guarantee that you'll have enough money
to pay for everything that you need.
So what if some people don't want to contribute?
Well, don't get your dimples in a twist, T-bone.
Okay, we'll make a rule.
Everybody has to donate money,
but how do we know it's going to the right places?
Man, you sure do love questions, huh?
I'll tell you what, well hire people to figure out
where all the donation money should go,
and then I don't have to think about it.
Any other issues?
Trevor no Casio Cortez?
Yeah, I just have one more. Okay, deciding where the money goes, to toeeeee, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, I tho, I toe, I tho, I tho, I toe, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, I'm to to to to tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi. tho? thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I tho. I Okay, deciding where the money goes is a big responsibility.
So how do we decide who'd be in charge of it all?
It's easy.
We ask the public who they want in charge and then whoever gets the most picks gets the
job.
Then every few years we ask again.
Michael, you realize you're describing a government.
If that's what you want to call it, then let's try this government thing. And worst case scenario, if it doesn't work, we'll shut it down.
That's where we...
Michael Cuff, everyone, we'll be right back.
John Stewart here.
Unbelievably exciting news.
My new podcast, the weekly show, we're going to be talking about the election,
economics, ingredient to bread ratio, on sandwiches.
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
Welcome back to the Daily Show.
My guest tonight is a filmmaker and a Golden Globe award-winning actor who executive
producers and stars in the new Showtime series, Black Monday.
Don Chino! Oh, wow, this is great man.
Thank you so much for being on the show.
I'm so glad to be here.
I've been a fan of yours since forever and you are back at it again with a brand new show, Black Monday.
Yeah.
Wow, this is great, man.
I'm so glad to be here. I've been a fan of yours since forever, and you are back at it again with a brand new show Black Monday.
Yes.
And this show is about the single biggest stock market crash in American history.
Yeah, and the, ostensibly the group that made a trade that was so toxic that it triggered
it.
Right.
What's interesting is you always find a way to make stories about topics that wouldn't necessarily seem entertaining, but you really make them entertaining. Like House of Lives was a similar thing.
It was like, wow, how are you going to make consultancy sexy?
But it was a really great show that I wanted to watch every single week.
Yeah, yeah.
Black Monday seems like the same thing.
And there's a lot of cocaine.
Yeah, there's a lot's great about the show is it
has a bit of a twist, right? You have this company that is run by you know your
character Moe and we saw in the clip there, Mo is running this company that's
really not what we would consider to be a Wall Street firm because of how
diverse it is really. Yeah and he has a big chip on his shoulder about that, you know, but it really does th is thap on, it th, it th, it really, it really, it really, it really, it really, it really, it really, it really, it really, it really, is really, is really, is really, is really, is really, is really, is thi, is a thi, is a thi, is a thi, is a thi, is a thi, is a thi, is a thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, that, that's, that's, to, to, toei. toeii. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th look at, you know, where we have come and how
far we have or have not come in that time period and seeing a lot of the similarities
and a lot of the things that we continue to see. I mean, the volatility in the market that we've just
been witnessing and the whims and how that works. It's something that we, these themes we keep
bringing back and it's a lot of stuff to send up. What I love is your character is a man of pure excess in the show.
Like he's just like, yo, I'm making money and I'm spending it as fast as I can,
burning through the cash. One of my favorite lines in the show is when he's got the
the Lamborghini.
That's right. That's like, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, the, the, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, the comfort of a limousine and none of the functionality of it, like, none of
the speed of a Lamborghinius.
It's like, but it costs twice as much as both.
Exactly, right.
And it gets mad, it's like, you're not a car guy.
Because you're so thoughtful in real life, do you enjoy playing ignorant characters?
I absolutely do. Yeah.
And it's kind of fun to play people who have really no governor switch. Right, right.
I mean, the guy, you don't know where he's going to go moment to moment.
I don't think he knows where he's going to go moment to moment.
And he's really just kinetic and pinballing off of everybody else.
And it's, it is a lot of fun to play people who you're at some of the storylines, you know, it's based in the 80s, it's about Wall Street, and yet when I was watching it, I was like, this seems like it could
be about today, you know, similar things that happen in the office, where there be about race
relations. There's a whole episode where people have to go for, you know, harassment, sexual harassment training, and you're like, that's, that's, that's, thian, that's, th., thian, th., th., thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi thin, thi thi thin, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, that hasn't changed much in our lives. Was it a bit surreal for you to be doing something that was so old and yet have it still
feel so contemporary?
That was the fun of the show, is to find ways to reflect and refer to the past.
Right.
The jokes in it are, I mean, every day we were like, can we say that?
I mean, it's really too far.
It's like if they could say whatever they wanted, that's what they show is.
That is insane.
It's a fun show to watch.
And honestly, I mean, I've always loved you as an actor, but one thing I've really enjoyed
learning about you is, I guess all your passions that you have outside of acting.
You know, some people know you as a poker, toe,'t know about you is how passionate you are about politics. You know, like on your Twitter handle, I'll read it correctly.
Your avatar is a photo of a seven-year-old from Guatemala who died while in U.S. custody.
And your bio says you are a single-issue Democratic voter in 2020.
That's a powerful statement, but what does that mean?
It means whoever can win.
That's my single issue.
Right.
You know, who can beat this dude?
You know, who can beat this dude?
Because I think that's something.
And what's amazing is we're in 2019 now.
And I don't know who the frontrunner is.
I don't think I could say definitively who I think the person in who is risen
to the top that they can do it. Well it's all of them. It's like a tag team thing.
Yeah, it'd be great.
Like seven presidents versus you.
Let's go.
But but it is an interesting time to be an entertainer engaged in politics.
You know what one thing you've always done is you've stayed in your lane
whilst maintaining your integrity. It doesn't feel like you th. th. th. mean, you've been in activism for a long time, you know, for instance, in Sudan.
You know, a cause that's close to your heart, talking about what's happening there.
As a climate activist as well, what made you want to start all of these projects, and
what do you hope to achieve?
Well, you know, the stuff with Sudan and the stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff sthapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap stuff the stuff the stuff the stuff thua thuuu, thu, that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's with Sudan and the stuff with Darfur, that was really something
that came out of my experience with Hotel Rwanda.
And I was asked to accompany a congressional delegation to the region and see for myself
what was happening and help bring attention to it with some people in the administration
at that time that were trying to raise awareness about what was happening and they said, we think that Rwanda is a good reference, it's a good framing reference for people to get an idea of
what's happening here in Darfur. So I accompanied them and we went to Chad
and we actually snuck into Darfur and got to see what had happened with the
Janjouid had just been in there and rated a camp and things were
still smoldering when we came in. And you know once you leave the and you meet the people that are working there and the NGOs that are risking their lives daily to help the people there, and someone says,
well, can you help us, can you continue to help us?
You know, it's kind of hard to say, nope, I saw it and I'm good, I'm wiping my hands
of it.
It's like, well, how can I help? the floodgates open and everyone who's had a difficult time getting in the light, you
know, we're here, we have a mic put in front of us, people want to interview us, people
want to talk to us, and they can't get in the light, they can't seem to find any sort of, you
know, footholds.
So when you have the ability to kind of pass the torch and say, no, look at them this is what these people are doing. That's how you want to use the platform. It's a powerful platform that you use every day.
I appreciate you for what you do both on and off screen.
Thank you.
A huge fan of yours.
Thank you so much for being on the show.
Black Monday premieres January 20th at 10 p.
time.
Don Cheetahle everybody.
Thank you so. The Daily Show with Kevernoa, Ears Edition.
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Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls?
We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as
podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.