The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Don Blankenship: The Trumpiest Candidate You Can Imagine | Diane Guerrero

Episode Date: May 10, 2018

Don Blankenship loses the GOP Senate primary in West Virginia, Trevor highlights gun-happy cops, and actress Diane Guerrero discusses her memoir "In the Country We Love." Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. May 9, 2018. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is the Daily Show. Thank you so much for tuning in. My guest tonight is an actor from Orange's The New Black and the CBS show Superior Donuts.

Diane Guerrero is here everybody. My guest tonight is an actor from Orange's the new black and the CBS show Superior Donuts. Diane Guerrero is here everybody. But first, yesterday, President Trump announced that he was pulling America out of the Iran nuclear deal. And not everyone in Iran is taking it well. The U.S. pullout from the nuclear deal is a devastating blow and already we can see the hardliners maneuvering to take advantage of it.

Conservative lawmakers this morning burned a paper US flag in the Parliament and chanted the familiar death to America. I'm not trying to tell you guys how to do your job, but it's a lot scarier if the flag actually catches fire Like you guys, die a man, hold on, hold on, hold on, die am I, like I'd be worried about these guys making nukes when they're struggling to burn paper. I mean, really? That's what I'd be doing. You know, you know who I feel bad for? The Parliament's fire marshal. He was probably so stressed. He was like, guys, I hate America just as much as you do, but can we move this to the parking lot? Please, please. Please.

Now, this wasn't that surprising, because these guys are extreme in Iran's, trueeanes, they're basically the Ted Cruzes of Iran, right? But the feeling towards Trump was coming from the very top too, right, with Iran's Supreme Leader Kameen stating, quote, this man will turn to dust and his body will become food for snakes and ants. Yeah, which sounds like a harsh statement, but you realize that's going to happen to all of us. Yeah, that's a pretty slick move. You threaten people with the natural course of life. One day you will stop breathing and your family members will cry over your dead body. Yeah, that's a funeral.

That's what a funeral is. That's normal. Moving on to other news, every day we learn more and more shady shit about Trump's, the latest, the latest is that just just after the election, Michael Cohen's shell company was paid half a million dollars, and the money was linked to a Russian oligarch who's close to Putin. And just as weird as that, Cohen's secret company was also getting huge sums of money from major corporations.

Cohen's company also received payments from a number of corporations, including nearly $400,000 from a subsidiary of Pharmaceutical Company, Novartis.. $. $. $. $. $. $. $. $. $. $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $, $,000, $,000, $, $, $, $, $1, $1, $1, $1,000,000,000,000, $1, $1, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, half, $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $, $, $, $, $, $,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.5,000,000.5,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.5,000.5,000.5,000.5,000.5,000.5 corporations, including nearly $400,000 from a subsidiary of pharmaceutical company, Novartis, $200,000 from AT&T and $150,000 from Korea aerospace industries. AT&T told us that essential consulting was one of several firms at eight years to provide insights into understanding the new administration. Really, AT&T? You paid $200,000 to Trump's lawyer to get insu- to get ins into understanding the new administration. Really, AT&T? You paid $200,000 to Trump's lawyer to get insights into Trump? We all know that's bullshit.

I mean, because if you really want insights into Trump, just read his tweets. There it is. It's free, $200,000. You owe me now. So Cohen got money from drug companies, from Korean plane companies, and AT&T. I mean, at least the drug company had the decency to try and make it look legit. Like, look at that amount. They spent a specific amount, right? It's so good, because everyone was like, 200,000, 150,000, they're like, 390 and 820?

Yeah, it makes it seem like there was an actual reason for the payment, because when it's round numbers you know it looks shady. Drug dealers are never like, hey man you want an eighth of weed, that'll be 59-99. But let's move on. Yesterday was a big day in the midterm primary season, which is basically the elections before the election, between the elections. Welcome to America, we like elections. Now there were three big Republican Senate primary contest yesterday. Ohio, Indiana, and West Virginia, people's three favorite states to drive through to their favorite state. Ten hours to Pennsylvania, yay! But West Virginia was the race that everyone was watching.

And from the news coverage last night, I can't actually tell you who won, but I can absolutely tell you who lost. The primary results are in for four states. West Virginia voters rejecting the race-bating conspiracy-laden candidacy of Don Blankenship. Convincedictship convicted Don Blankenship. their thinn. ton Blankenship finished a distant third in the West Virginia Senate race. That's right, West Virginia. Meet your new Republican-Sen, theeee, the, thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, the, th. th. W. W. W. W. W. V, th, th, th, th. V, the, voters, voters, voters, voters, voters, voters, voters voters voters voters voters voters voters voters voters voters voters, voters voters voters, voters voters voters, voters voters voters, voters voters, voters, voters, voters, voters, voters. tho, voters. thi, voters. thi, voters. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. toe, toe. toe. too, toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. tho, th Senate race. That's right, West Virginia. Meet your new Republican Senate nominee, not Don Blankenship! Yeah! Now, I'm not going to lie. I thought it was a little weird for the TV news to be focusing on a candidate who came

in third in a primary. But once you meet Don Blankenship, you understand that this guy might not be newsworthy, but he was definitely great TV. Politicians have run a lot of crazy ads. They blew up the coal mine and then put me in prison. Now they're running ads that say the coal mine blew up, and I went to prison. There's no surprise there. Actually, I feel like that was a surprise.

Politicians don't usually run ads saying they went to prison after they blew up coal mines. Which side note really happened. 29 people died and Blankenship served a year in prison for it. And I'm willing to bet with that bourbon and Xanax delivery, no one messed with him in the joint. You know, guys just like, hey man, what are you in for? He's like, the coal mine blow up. And I went I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th, and I th, and I went, and I went th, and I went th, and I went they went they went th, and I went they went they went th, and I went they went they went th, and I went they went they went, and Ianax delivery, no one messed with him in the joints. You know, guys are just like, hey man, what are you in for? He's like, the coal mine blew up, and I went to prison. There's no surprise there.

I'm like, damn man, you loco, man. I'm just here for insider trading, man. And believe it or not, that's not even the reason Blankenship Senate run blew up, right? It's actually for his completely original views on Mitch McConnell. One of my goals as US Senator will be to ditch cocaine Mitch. When you vote for me, you're voting for the sake of the kids. Cocaine Mitch? Are you serious? There's no way that Mitch McConnell is on cocaine.

I mean, it is fun to imagine that he is. Like, he's actually only 35 years old, but he parties so hard that he just looks like that now. Who would be fun and just like, oh, do it a girl. So, Don Blankenship set himself up as the trumpiest candidate that you can imagine, anti-establishment and definitely not PC, which is why he also ran an ad targeting Mitch McConnell's Chinese American wife. Swamp Captain Mitch McConnell has created millions of jobs for China people. While doing so, Mitch has gotten rich. In fact, his China family has given him

tens of millions of dollars. China family? You know this is one of those things th thi th thi thi thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho- tho- th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. tens of millions of dollars. China family? You know this is one of those things where I know I should be offended, but I'm extremely confused. Because China family, what is, what is it? Like, China family sounds like how your racist uncle refers to fresh off the boat. It's like, change the station, I don't want to watch China family. And the phrase, China people. And the phrase China people was even weird. What did that mean, these China people? It's a weird phrase, which is why he got asked about it in the Republican primary debate.

This idea that calling somebody a China person, I mean, I'm an American person. I don't see this insinuation by the press that there's something racist about saying a China person. Some people are Korean persons and some of them are African persons. It's not any slander there. Well, you know, as an Africa person and as American persons, I think we can all agree that that's a bullshit person. I feel like, I feel like even racist would be mad about this. They'd be like, hey man, we got words for this.

We worked hard. You're ignoring our heritage. So obviously, I don't need to tell you this. Mitch McConnell is not a fan of Don Blankenship, which is why after he lost last night, McConnell dunked on him hard online. Post-election, McConnell firing back with this humorous tweet. McConnell reimagined as Pablo Escobar for the TV show Narcos with the message, thanks for playing Don.

Wow, Mitch McConnell. Making jokes. That's amazing. It is a bit weird that McConnell is so confident about it that he made himself Pablo Escobar, you know, like part of me thinks that McConnell is so confident about it that he made himself Pablo Escobar, you know, like part of me thinks that maybe he is involved with cocaine now. You know, like now that it's over, he's like, okay, now that the heat's off, we've got to get back out on the corners, yo, and push that blow.

Remember the price of that $58.94, so it doesn't look suspicious. So Don Blankank blank the th, Don't th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin, Don't thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thin' thin' thin' thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's thi. He's thi. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. th the. th the. th th th thea. thi. thi. thi. thi. He in the primary race and ended up nowhere afterwards. But even in defeat, this man was TV gold. It's time to concede, so we're conceding the election. Feel free to hang around, you know, I already paid a big bill for y'all to be able to eat and picket stuff and drink and occupy this room so there's no reason to hurry out of here. So you stay as long as you want and I'm to to 't have to worry about a DUI or anything. But if I did get a DUI before midnight that'd send me back to prison for 30 days so I gotta be careful. This guy, this guy just cannot stop reminding people that he went to prison. Anyway, thank you for your support and just remember because of me dozens of people died. Good night everybody good night

But you know what I don't blame him for wanting to hang around and celebrate because you heard him his parole ended at midnight So he's a free man now or is Don Blankenship might say they said I blew up the mine and so I ran for Senate then? Then they blew up my campaign. So now I'm done running for Senate. But I didn't get a DUI, so I'm free to do what I do best. Blowing up coal mines. We'll be right back. Welcome back to the Daily Show.

You know, it's a tough job being a police officer. You're overworked, you're underpaid, and sometimes it seems the only perk of your job is when everyone thinks you're there for their bachelorette party. Oh and of course, you get to have a gun. The problem is, it seems that today in America, cops are often too quick to use firearms, which is a serious issue that we'll cover in our new segment, Cops just want to use guns. Cops just want to use guns. Oh, cops just want to use guns.

Our first brandishing buddy comes to us from Southern California, in a misunderstanding brought to you by Mentos. An off-suity officer in Southern California is caught on camera, pulling his gun on a convenience store customer who he mistakenly thought was stealing. This was all over a pack of Mentos that the customer had already paid for. The man says he tried to explain that he paid for it. But the officer didn't believe him until the convenience store actually had to say he

paid for it. Wow. This cop pulled a gun on a guy because he thought he was stealing Mentos. Now, here's my thing, even if he was stealing them, that's not a reason to pull your gun. Like, maybe if the guy was stealing Mentos and Diet Coke, then yeah, that's a potential bomb threat.

I get it. We know what you can do with that stuff. Yeah, that's dangerous. But not for Mentos alone. I mean, if this cop pulls out his gun for Mentos, he'll pull out his gun for anything. Even when he goes home after work, he's probably like, honey, what's for dinner? Whoa, whoa, whoa, open the oven nice and slow. Put the meatloaf where I can see it. Now give me a kiss. No tongue, no tongue! And also if a guy's willing to go to jail for Mentos, I think that's pretty badass. In fact, it would make a great commercial. Like the guys would be in jail like, hey dude, what are

you in for? I blew up a mine. What are you in for? Me? Me? I'm in for. Mentos. The Fresh Maker. Mentos, the fresh maker. Now, fortunately in that instance, no one was hurt. But if you're a groundhog who encounters a cop, your story might not end so well. Well, some people in Maryland are upset a police officer shot a groundhog that was apparently trying to block traffic. Yeah video shows that animal running toward the deputy which made the deputy think that animal was dangerous. The sheriff's office declined to comment on camera but sent us a statement explaining the deputy saw traffic stopped on Liberty at White Rock Road investigated and found the groundhog blocking traffic. Quote he realized that it was not responding as expected for an animal that was not being

cornered or trapped. Get the fuck out of here, man. Are you being serious? First of all, white people are calling the cops on groundhogs now? Like what's next? their sunset? Officer, please help it's getting so dark everywhere. And also this poor groundhog. He was just two weeks from retirement.

And now the worst thing is they shot him and they're acting like it was his fault. Yeah. Attacking his reputation. He was not responding as expected for an animal. Oh, I didn't realize there was some sort of police groundhog protocol. Like, what is he supposed to put his hands up? He doesn't have hands! But you can tell the poor little groundhog had no idea what was going on. Like the cop is on one side that is on the other side. I wouldn't be shocked if the cop was giving confusing directions. Like, get out of the road.

Don't move, don't move. Get on the ground. He's like, I am on the ground. I'm a ground hugged. The news is making the ground-docks seem like the bad guy. Oh, he was trying to block the trap. Next, the news will be pulling up that Groundhogs Facebook, finding every picture way he looks like a thug. I know how this goes.

And in response to this incident, the National Association of Groundhogs just released a statement saying, If this is how humans want to play it, fine, we're bringing back six more weeks of winter, bitches. Well, that's all we got time for. Stay tuned for next edition of Because Cups, just want to use guns. We'll be right back. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news.

My new podcast, the weekly show, we're going to be talking about the election economics ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast welcome back to the Daily Show my guest tonight is an activist author of the book in the country we love and an actor who can currently be seen in the CBS series Superior Donuts. Please welcome, Diane Guerrero. Thank you for having me. Huge fan of yours from Orange's the New Black and now you've gone on to do other great things. You're on Superior Donuts now as well. You're on Jane the Virgin. Theagin.

Though to the te. to you're on Jane the Virgin. Do you ever sometimes confuse the characters because like sometimes you'll be moving between shows? Like will you say a line like as Lena, but it's supposed to be a Maritzer line? Will you ever do that? Like you just be like hardcore and people like, you're not in prison? you're not in prison. Yeah, I try try. I try. I try. I try try th. I th. I try th. I th. I th. I th. I th. try th. th. th. th. th. the th the try the the the try the the the the the the the the th sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes sometimes they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do try try try try try try try try try try try. Do try. Do try. Do try. to toe. te. try try to consistent. I like that. That's like a weird role to take with you. It's just like, yes, this is a kid's show and I'm loco. That's what I am. I know. I know.

People actually do try to like kind of like tonight to me down. Right, right. Right. many ways I guess gave us a different insight into why someone would be in prison. Did many people connect to that character and her storyline? Yeah it was it was actually really great I mean I when I first you know I signed on for the role I was like great a Latina woman in prison I said this is far from what people expect from me right but as as I got into it and how I saw people respond to it, it was really, it was very real. And the stories that we got to tell were real and, you know, I guess knowing what I know about myself now, as the person who I am now, it's very fitting that that was my first

break to tell these kinds of stories. And do you think it makes a big difference to tell the stories that go beyond what we think of people. Because as you say, when you know more about the person, you see them as a human being, is that really important to you? Absolutely. Yeah, I mean, it's kind of what I've tried to do my entire life is to have people see me as human. Right. And with the stories that I tell, with my own life, with my telling stories of my community. It it it it it it, it, it, amazingly in in your memoir that you wrote in 2016 like you you wrote a

Fascinating account of your story and and it's the book we have here and in the country We Love my family divided and you tell a story of Being a young American child who has two parents who are undocumented and they get deported and you were 14 years old at time? How do you even begin to process the world??? the world? the world? the world? the world? the world? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their???????? their? their? their? their their their their their their their their their their the the toa, the toa, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their the deported. And you were 14 years old at the time? How do you even begin to process the world when your parents have been taken away from you? Like, where do you begin in your mind? Well, it was something that I always had to live with. I mean, I lived with the fear of losing my family,

of being separated my family was very, was brutally honest with me. I mean, I was like five years old and they were, you know, telling me, look, this is what's gonna happen. You know, I was like smoking a cigarette at five years old. I get it dead. This is happening, yeah, I know where the money is. Right. Um, not much money.

So I was always sort of preparing for this day, and hoping that it wouldn't happen, hoping that things would change, hoping that my parents would find a path for citizenship, but that day never came. So when it happened, I just had to buck up, really. I just had to take the words that my parents had left with me and they told me to be strong, and to continue following my dreams and living my life for me, and that's what I did. You shared in the book and honestly it's heart-wrenching when it happens because you tell the story of this young girl at the time who is living in a world where people don't seem to think about the ramifications of what happens. We have these discussions, we see people saying, well, take the

kids. I mean, you know, Jeff Sessions just announced that they were, that's what they're going to be doing at the border, separating parents from the kids. And people just say it like it's an arbitrary thing, but you were someone who are separated from your parents. Do you, like, is there a way you wish it would be different? Is there something you wish they could do to try and change the way it is? You know, it's as simple as that. And I guess... No, I know it. No, no, and I guess what I'm saying to that is, because it is obvious, but I think what got me was how you had to live without them. That was a thing, because people weren't checking up on you, and that's what you talk

about in the book. People don't understand what separation of family thoo. recount in my story, I just try to say, okay, there are huge consequences to separating families, not just for people who are undocumented who apparently this country does not care about, but for US citizens as well. Right. And for me, I mean, it sort of felt, or it absolutely was that that I, my life was not counted as fully citizen, I suppose, because my parents were undocumented. And we went through serious hardships

and many children get left behind the way I did. And I was able to have a big imagination and continue my father's words to continue on living on my dream and working hard. I mean, I really, believe me, I would eat the American dream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'd be like, yeah, this is what I'm doing, you know, is kind of bootstraps and all. Really not understanding what the immigration system looked like, trying to figure out a way for myself, knowing that if I continue to work out if I was resourceful, that I was going to make it. But that's not th, I's not th, I's not thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, I's not thi, I's not thi, I's not thi, I's not thi, I's not thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm not the thi, I'm to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'm the thi. thi. thi. thin. thr. toeananananananananananananananananananananlia. toeanananananananananli. toe. toe. toe. thr. I'm, I'm, I'm, I I continue to work out, if I was resourceful, that I was going to make it. But that's not the case for everyone. And for most kids, it's not a happy ending.

And I think that with my book, I just try to show my community in a different light. You know, in 2016 was really tough for me. I never shared my story before. And when I heard my community attacked, it was mind-blowing because I mean, I've've always heard undocumented people be dehumanized and criminalized, but not in this way. As I came to my own and I came to understand my truth and accept my truth, I was like, this is something that I cannot let go and I can't let people talk like this about my community, because I know the strength and the love that my community has and I know this because I lived it. You lived it? Yes. You shared it.

Your parents are really proud of you and you write about them in the book, which is beautiful. Thank you for being with us on the show and sharing your story again. I really appreciate it. Thank you. The season finale, the feteen May 14th on CBS, My Family Divided will be available on July 17th and in the country we love is available now. Bang Guerrero everybody. Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for exclusive content and more.

This has been a Comedy Central podcast. This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show. It's gonna be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday, we're gonna be talking about. All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way

that they obsess me, the election. Economics calls. What are they talking? th out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to thi. to be to be to be to be to be th. th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to the to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the thee. the. the. the. the me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.