The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Exercise Bikes vs. Actual Bikes - Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

What’s a better way to stay in shape: exercise bikes or actual bikes? A sunny day and a scenic route gives you the full, bike riding experience. But wouldn’t it be better to have a Peloton to use ...in the comfort of your own home? Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and Daily Show writer Josh Johnson debate the two primary forms of cycling.  Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan and Josh Johnson is a new podcast from The Daily Show. Check out more episodes of Hold Up wherever you get your podcasts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:36 Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day Try it for free at this exclusive web address zip recruiter dot com slash zip the smartest way to hire You're listening to Comedy Central Central. Hey, it's Roywood Jr. We've got a little something different for you today. Now, you remember before the pandemic you could stand around a water cooler and talk to your coworkers? We used to call it water cooler conversations, even though there was never really a water cooler
Starting point is 00:01:21 there. Anyway, two of my good friends, Daily Show correspondent, Dolce Sloan, and Daily Show writer Josh Johnson, are known around the building for their water cooler conversations. And they turned it into a podcast. This is your chance to hear these two people go back and forth the way we get to hear it all the time in the hallway. The podcast is called up. Hold Up. Have a listen. Hey everybody, welcome to Hold Up. We are the show that brings you the hard-hitting topics that you don't think hit hard, but we know do. You know, it's a big opinions about small things. It's things that make us upset that you probably haven't even thought of. We go against each other every episode. I'm Josh Johnson, writer for the Daily Show, joined by Doolsay Sloan, correspondent
Starting point is 00:02:08 for the Daily Show and one of my best friends. Yeah, I am? Yeah, I mean, wow. I guess if you have to ask, then like, no, no, no, you know, sometimes you realize that like the way you think about people is it always the way they think about you. So like I consider to to say you to say you to you to to you to you to to to you to to you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes. their their their. their their their the realize that like the way you think about people isn't always the way they think about you. So like I consider you one of my best friends, but you're always glad to hear it when somebody says it out loud. The confirmation is nice. I get you because honestly, this is the other thing. I've watched it happen at real time where it's like, oh man, that's my best friend. Yeah, I mean, we cool. I this this this this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other other other other other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other. I I I I I I I I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was the other. I was the other. I was the other. I was the other. I was the other. I was the other. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thing. I was thing. I've thing. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the other the other. I've the other. I've the my best friend. He's like, yeah, me, we cool. It's, ooh. Listen, I was sitting there, I was at a show,
Starting point is 00:02:49 me and a friend of mine had gone to see, it's to share, Zameda and Nicole Byer used to do an improv show together in LA. I think like UCB Franklin, and they're very, they're so good at it and they work really well together. It was great to watch. But I was sitting with a friend of mine and they at one point were like, clap it up if you're here with your best friend. And neither one of us clapped and we started laughing. Uh, because we're, because like at the time we weren't like tight like that.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Yeah. But neither one of us clapped and we were like, ah ha ha! So I think it was great that we both acknowledged that we weren't each other's best friend. Like now we probably wouldn't say that, but like at the time it was great because it was like... You still didn't know each other? Right, and our best friend was a mutual friend, so... Ooh. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:03:39 That could get hairy. No, it's fine, because now we're just, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. We, thi. We thi. We thi. We're, thi. We thi. We're, thi. We thi. We thi. We thi, thi,'re just all best friends together. Um but at the time it's like we shared a best friend but then we weren't best friends. So now we're all best friends which reminds me I got to call it bitch. Scott the Rona. I mean I hope she's all right. She's fine. They got this new pill that came out. Um, and else? You ever heard about this antiviral pill they're giving people now for the Roney? I heard of it. I didn't know it had been approved and people were popping it. Oh yeah, she's got it and our, you know, the all best friend who's formerly just part best friend.
Starting point is 00:04:14 The shared best friend, she has it too. So, oh gee. They're both on it. Yeah, it's a trip. We could have called this best best best best best best best best best best best best this best best this best best best best it's a trip. But yes, we are best friends. We could have called those best friends, but again, Nicole Byer and since she has the maid, I have already taken that title. So, what a segue. We... So what a segue, it's a holdup. That's what this is. We come to you this week with, you know, not news about the pandemic, you know, you know, that, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, the, the, the, the, the, the, thus, not, not, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their they is they. She has they. She has th. She has thea. She has thea. She has that, they. She has thea, that, the that, the their, that, the war. There's a war still? There is still a war. Not news about the pandemic, you know, even though we accidentally just gave you an update on pills that came out. We come to you today
Starting point is 00:04:52 with a fierce debate that both of us feel pretty strongly about exercise bikes versus bike rides. So at home bikes versus cycling out in the world. Okay, now, listen, what side are you on? I'll tell you right now I'm on the side of bike rides out in the world. Okay, I am on this side of indoor bikes. As someone who works in this industry, my face is very important. And I have been on a bike as an adult and was very worried about my face the entire time. When you're riding a bike to your neighbor as a kid, like I would do this like sometimes if I was on my bike and my mom would come on from work.
Starting point is 00:05:43 I would like try to like race my mom while she was in the car. This woman had every ability to beat me she's in a car but she would always like be like I almost got me and I was like I looked at her was like you can go a hundred miles an hour I don't I want to play this game with you she's like not in this neighborhood I'm like you're, but like riding a bike as a kid one your body is way more Uh, Your body is younger your body is more supple. Okay. Yeah, you bounce back like I still have a scar on like my right arm from falling off a bike. Mm-hmm. Like I still have like falling off bike scars and stuff like that, but like if you fell off a bike in your neighborhood It wasn't like detrimental but like, if you fell off a bike in your neighborhood, it wasn't like detrimental,
Starting point is 00:06:27 but like, we both know grown adults. In New York, the number of people that I know that have been, and they said they were hit by a parked car, which, the logistics on that don't make any sense to me. I have a hair stylist who, someone on a bike ran into her and broke her arm. Geez. And I was like how fucking fast was someone going on a bike? So it's like, think about like the number of times you try to call like that bike lane in New York, like trying to get out of a car or trying to cross the street. This fuck is a lawless. They're trying to take you out. Then there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the street. These fuck are lawless. They're trying to take you out. Then there's the electric bikes now, which is just like a fancy moped. I don't care what anybody says.
Starting point is 00:07:10 But like, I know people that's like, remember the dude who broke, we know who broke both of his elbows, it was basically in half a hula hoop? Yes, yes. I do know, yeah. So this losers and a half of Hulu because he didn't want to take a car. He thought he was too good for the subway. I mean, the subway is a hellhole. It should be again filled with concrete and ended immediately. But it's like- I feel like you're coming from a place of fear, all right?
Starting point is 00:07:39 No, I'm not, it's not about fear. It's people have died on a bike too many people because like there's a childhood nostalgia like going to a corner store whatever like I had fun riding bikes as a kid but I was also in a suburban neighborhood we were riding down like streets that didn't have people roaring down them we were riding through cul-de-sacs we were like in nice area where people had decent jobs like I wasn't delivering food in a city. It's just like, once you put a bike in a city, the whole game changes.
Starting point is 00:08:14 Okay, but I think that you're assuming I'm talking about just riding bikes in New York. I'm talking about outdoor cycling. I'm talking about being in nature, being one with the elements. Okay? I feel like exercise bikes is too stationary. Huh? Something like riding trails and stuff? I'm talking about any bike riding outside. You know, exercise bikes, they're limited. Okay? They don't actually give you the full bike ride experience. You're doing all that pedaling to go nowhere. You're doing all that pedaling to get off and still be in your living room. You you, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, okay, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, t, t, t, t, t, t, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, tree, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, peddling to get off and still be in your living room you're not talking about biking in a city because we both know that's a dangerous dangerous situation I mean I'm talking about all of it I I see some people bike in the
Starting point is 00:08:53 city that impressed me very much now maybe they get car-dored once a year but there are people that have navigated this city with a bike the entire year. Anytime you order food, that's usually a bike. That's usually a dude on a bike, living a fast lane lifestyle. Or a little man on a little like little scooter vespa kind of situation. Why does he have to be little? No, he's not little. The thing is little. Oh, I thought you were saying a little man on little vest but I was like no. Because I've seen men who they both have to be little? No, because I've seen men who are too big to be on him and that's my favorite. There's nothing like a man that's too big to be on the bike he's on.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Like he got like, he loved his bike and this is his bike from when he was 15, and now he's 33, and he's huge. You don't th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi's, thi's, th. th. thi's, thi. thi. thi. thi. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, thi. And, thi. And, that's like, thi's like, thi's like, thi's like, thi's like, thi's like, thi's like, thi's like, thi. thi. And, the pedals keep working. Some of these bikes are really expensive because when my firm was like, I got a $1,200 bike and I was like, bitch, where are you going? It's a bike. Niggin, it's a bike. Also, are you an Avenger? Like, how are you, how are you need to get there on a bike that's that stylish, that that's that American? 1200 and them things?
Starting point is 00:10:07 A stack and some change. A stack and some change. A stack in two C notes for a bike. For a bike, for a bike, for a bicycle. And where are you going? Where are you going? Because you don't need gas. So where are you going? Where are you going? Because you don't need gas so where are you going?
Starting point is 00:10:25 Where are you going? And she has a whole car. Girl, it was nuts. And I'm just like, okay. But like I understand it's more places need, it's just it's so yes, it is fear, it is danger. But it's like, because like those people who like ride bikes, like one of my friends, he is really into like BMX riding and he has this whole try. It.. this. It. It this. It this. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the th. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's their. It's has has has has has has has has has. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's has has has has has has has has has the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the th. It's the th. It's like. It's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he is really into like BMX riding and he has his whole trail. I should really find it because it's nice. The BMX trail is nice or the bike is nice. Well, he has multiple bikes. He's one of my good friends.
Starting point is 00:11:01 So I should promote his business if you're in the Great State of business. If you're in the Great State of Georgia. If you're in the Great State of Georgia and you need a bike? Yes, go to Jarrett's Place, bike park. Hey, if you didn't think I was going to get on here, you got your damn mind. Also the last time I was on here, I should have promoted the one woman show, producing, don't reach in the bag, written by, and the, and the, and the, and the great, and the great, and the great, and the great, and the great, and the great, and starring, and starring, and starring, and starring, and starring, and starring, and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, if th. If the great, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if the great, if the great, if I. the great, the great, I. the great, I. the great, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the that the the the that the the that the the threate. the that that threatea. that that that the last time I was on here, I should have promoted the one woman show, producing Don't Reach in the Bag, written by and starring, Shilay was sharp. So that's my own fault. It's my own fault. It's my own fault.
Starting point is 00:11:34 But it's, so because he liked it, my friend started dating him, was wife who I became friends with Lace Lerabe who's amazing comic. She had to get in the bikes, the bikes, the bikes, the bike, the bike, the bike, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was thi, was, was thi. And, was thi. And, and thi. And, and thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi. And, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's who's an amazing comic. She had to get into bikes because he was in the bikes. And then her face was constantly in danger. The number of times she's been scratched up, cut up, the number of times he's spraying something or hurt something, because it's like, once bikes aren't on flat land, that's also scary because it's like, oh, let me ride through this mountain on these skinny two wheel.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I'm like, that don't seem good either. Mountains are very, very, angular. They're very much not for. This feels like you have a point, but then you didn't quite formulate all the sentences structure together so now you're like you know mountains they got those curves that's hard like you've ever gone like a hiking trail mm-hmm you've gone hiking before and been like oh this is very precarious and that's on the feet that God gave you you understand so it's like if it's precarious on these two here feet, it's got to be more precarious when I put wheels into it. So it's like
Starting point is 00:12:48 it just there's so much danger. It just seems so dangerous to like be in these places and you know it's not fear. It's precautionary, it's danger. It's me wanting to to keep my face. All of the teeth that you have all the the the teeth. the you. the you. you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, thi. that's, that's, thi. that's, thi. that's, that's, that's, that's not, thi, that's not, thi, thiol-I's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's, that's, that's, thiol-I I I's, it's got, it's, it's, it's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's got got thi's got thi's got thi's got thiaa. thia's got got thia. thia. theeeea. I's got got got got teeth that you have are all the teeth you're gonna have. You understand? I mean that's not really true lots of people got fake teeth now. That's what I'm about to say you lost your baby teeth and these new teeth came in and like hey he's the only mouth bones which is first of all them can't. Which is first of all the ones can't describe teeth like that that, and that's that's that's, I heard the one describe teeth like that and it fucked me up so bad. It makes me not want you, mouth bones? Teeth are bones!
Starting point is 00:13:29 I know, but woof. Thank you! Isn't it weird? Isn't it weird? So this is where I'm gonna come at you right now with the logic you came at me with last episode where you were like, hey, you're not making points for diners. You're over here just attacking Walthouse. That's, I mean, that's how I'm feeling right now. You're just talking about the downsides
Starting point is 00:13:52 of riding bikes outside. I'm not hearing any great points about these exercise bikes, sitting down, looking like clothes, lo-rise skirt holders all in American homes. Low-rived skirt road holders is hilarious. Listen, I'm just saying that if you, Peloton seems to have changed the game, right? Yeah, yeah, definitely. Because before we were just on these stationary bikes, watching TV, right?
Starting point is 00:14:18 Yeah. Hopefully, or trying to read a book, which is wild. How are you going to read a book when you're tilting left, you can give yourself motion motion, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, to, is, is, is, is thi, thi, is thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is hilarious, is hilarious, is hilarious. thi, is hilarious, is, is, is hilarious, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, thi.a, thi..a, thi..a, thi.a, thi.a, th read a book, which is wild. How are you going to read a book when you're tilting left? You can give yourself motion sickness. You look crazy. Can you imagine if somebody threw up tried to read Dickens while they get miles in? That's so funny.
Starting point is 00:14:40 They're only to read great expectations and just like, uh, uh, oh. I've seen. The most of the number of people. I have, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you that's, you can, you can, you can, you can, you, you, you, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, th, that's that's th, just like, ugh, ugh, ugh. I've seen the number of people, I have seen more than one person, which is too many, riding a bike through Brooklyn with one hand for reading a book. You're riding a bike in the street, reading a book. And I'm like, who is this for? Okay so let me tell you this thing right now this this will slightly undercut my point but I think that for you and and the listeners you'll enjoy it I was in Brooklyn and this is like I can't remember how long I lived here by now but I was in Brooklyn and saw a true gift I saw two different guys right so to today tho the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi to to to to to thi to toe to toe the toe they. thi their thi their they. thi their thi their thi thi in Brooklyn and saw a true gift. I saw two different guys, right? So two different individual men on a
Starting point is 00:15:32 unicycle. One was... Stop. Stop. Stop. You have to give me and who's ever listening time to create a mental picture of how these humans, how two people are on a unicycle. Is this a kid stacked in a trench coat situation? These are two grown hipsters. Well what I'm saying is like, because you know, we've, we had as a friend, like as a kid growing up, you would like, if your friend had pegs on their bike, like on the back wheels or something, or you put like a friend on a handlebar, or like a younger sibling, like, you know, if you have like a boy bike, you know, if you have like a boy bike, the barsthat the whole distinguishing thing where they changed the you know
Starting point is 00:16:26 like for girl bikes and boy bikes the the bars would be different in the middle it never made sense to me why the boy bike had the bar set up where if something happened it would break the boys testicles wait it what what so? So boy bikes if you remember boy bikes had the bar that went straight across. And then girl bikes had the bar that dipped down. Yeah. But it made more sense to me for the boy bikes to have the bar that dipped down, because if anything happened, like if I hit like a bumper, if I fall off my bike, if I get hit
Starting point is 00:17:03 in the crotch, nothing, some lips might hurt, but I'm not breaking things. Like these boy bikes, because I had guy friends growing up, they would run over something in their bikes, they would hit something or whatever, and like this straight across bar would cause some problems. I just thought it never made sense. Also it didn't make sense for there be different designs for girl and boy their to ba and boy, their, thages, thages, thages, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I. I, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I'm, I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I had, thi. I had, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's thi's thi. I had thi. I had So from what I was told by my grandmother when I asked this question when I was little, the dip was because, especially back in the day, a lot of women would ride bites and skirts. So if they didn't have to lift their leg over the bar and they could just lift their leg
Starting point is 00:17:36 over the lowered bar, they wouldn't flip their skirt in the air, whereas the boys always wore pants and jeans so nobody cares, they flip their leg over. Wow! Dude, shout out to your grandma? Yeah, just grandmas be knowing stuff. She's a blessing, truly. Tell her, I said, hey. Because when I asked my mother, she was like, girl, I. No. Ha ha ha. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience.
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Starting point is 00:18:48 Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, zip recruiter. thooo. Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. We moved back to Miami. I was like nine. And seeing grown men sell weed on a bike. But it was never an adult, it was always a child's bike.
Starting point is 00:19:23 And it was always a little girl's bike. So look at a, so you're thinking of a grown man. Imagine trick daddy, right? No, I saw it growing up. Yeah, trick daddy on a bike with the tassels. With the tassels and he's in a wifey, uh, the long, the long jeans shorts. It's Miami, so there's just, you can just see the hints of baby the baby the baby the baby of of baby of of baby the baby of of baby the baby of of of th of baby the baby th of baby th it's Miami so there's just you can just see the hints of baby powder on them so he's they you know fresh and clean. Yeah. The socks and then the slides. Also he wiggled too much when he take off so when he
Starting point is 00:19:58 goes to kick off he really just be pushing the handlebars too like overcorrected too much. Yeah because it's like you know this bike is too small for you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you the th you th you th th th thi th thi. the thi. th. thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi ty te te thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi too, like, overcorrected too much. Yeah, because it's like, you know this bike is too small for you, you shouldn't be here. Yeah. Bikes are fun, but like after, because like after you reach a certain age, you're like, once you hit like high school, I think you're like, okay, I think I'm good with this bike. But it's like, for me, it's like, yeah, I I I I I'm like, yeah, I I I I I I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, like, like, like, like, I'm like, I'm like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, I'm, like, like, I'm like, like, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, I'm, I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th.'m going stationary only because there's so much date. Now, yes, a stationary bike is going to end up being a close hanger, okay? But like I said, Peloton has changed the game because you can get the experience, it's a VR experience or 2D or whatever experience.
Starting point is 00:20:39 It's a community. What? It's a community. Who's she? The pelton. What about thi? It's a community. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the stationary. It's a the stationary. It's a the stationary. It's a the stationary. It's a the stationary. It's a the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the stationary, the sa, the sa, the sa, the sa, the sa, the sa, the sa, the sa, the sa, the the the the the the the the they. It's, the they. It's a tha, tha, tha, tha, thatea, thatea, thatea, thatea, tha, that.a, that.a, that.a, stationary bikesa, that.a, that.a, that. A. S? The Peloton. What about them? It's a community. How the hell is it a community? I'm on a bike. What? You take classes with other people and other people are high-fiving you the whole time. I don't like that. Oh. I mean, now I feel like, I'm making both our points. No, I like that you can see making both our points. Like, that I feel like I'm fighting myself.
Starting point is 00:21:06 No, I like that you can see the different landscapes and stuff like that. Not everybody can choose the class part. That sounds like it costs extra. Oh, it does cause extra. Yeah. But I thought that's what you meant when you were like that changed the game because they changed the game through community. I thou they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th changed the game because they put a screen on it bitch. I don't know if they were the first.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Like, oh, you want to feel like you're biking through the Alps? Here's this movie. Like, I thought that's how they changed the game. I don't... I like how this multi-billion dollar corporation is funded like classes and like seminars on health and fitness. They've invented all these new ways to be fit in different points of your life and you are like, no, they're famous for putting the iPad in the front. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:02 I mean, listen, you know what, I did genuinely forget that they had the front. Yeah, I mean I listen you know what I did genuinely forget that they had those classes that's not something I would want to do but maybe it's good because then people sweat ain't because I've been in classes before like workout classes and people be sweating and his sweat goes airborne and then they sweat on you and then your sweat could be on him and I don't... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you're saying a lot of things right now. People be sweating and sweat, sweat fundamentally, is a liquid, and any liquid can evaporate, okay, but you see no, because what you just did, you try to use, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th and th and th and th and th, and th and that, thi, and th, th, th, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, and, that, that, and, that, that, that, that, that, tha, thtry to use fundamentally to get scientific and get
Starting point is 00:22:45 me confused. I get you confused. Right now you're not making sense. Because when you sweat, you've never had somebody sweat on you? That I wasn't touching, no. Think about it. If you're in a workout class, all of the sweat is just getting thrown instead of air. It's got getting thrown instead of air. It's got a land. You say throw.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Like you're making it sound like people are just omitting juices out of their like foreheads and that. When you're in a workout class, you're sweating. And you've never been to workout class and just seen like sweat coming off of people. No, I've never seen, if you see sweat coming off as somebody like smoke, like smoke, that's thua. think. think. think. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, I's just just just just just just just just, I's just, I's, I's just, I's just, I's just just just just just just just just, I's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm just like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not that's a sick person. Not like smoke, you crazy person, but like it's... I don't know, I just have... I just... I could be wrong, but the words that you use them to describe what you're saying
Starting point is 00:23:36 definitely feel like they're incorrect. I just have had people sweat on me and I don't like it. But from far away? Like that, we're in a class. Everyone, there's 30 people in here. We're all fucking sweating. We're sweating, we're swinging limbs. It's a, it's a cardio class.
Starting point is 00:23:54 So if your arms are sweating and you're flailing your arms about. Now, someone can definitely flick sweat on you. That's a I'm talking about. Okay, I thought that you were talking about just steam coming off of somebody. No, not like a cartoon. I'm talking about like the slit, like the, you know, you got your arms going and then there's sweat getting flicked.
Starting point is 00:24:14 And you got 30 people flicking sweat. I don't sweat like that. But I have seen people flick some sweat. you know what let me go to the next row. So let me both tell you okay so I'll let me I'll go back to the unicycle thing first and then I'll tell you about the exercise class thing. So with the unicycle thing it was two dudes on a unicycle each in Brooklyn. They both have their own unicycle. They both have their own unicycle. Oh! Did you think did you think they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. tho. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to the toe. the toe. the the their. their. their. their their thought you think did you think they were holding hands? I know what I'm saying is you said two dudes on a unicycle. Yeah. So I thought it was two dudes on a unicycle that's why I said where they stacked up like kids at a
Starting point is 00:24:59 trench coat. No no no no no these are two individual. Two individual, no pussy getting men. That can't. I mean, I would describe it that way, but yeah, yeah, I think. Listen, two men with very strong calves. Two men with Goku like calves. Because the thing is, it's like, the seat on a unicycle is so uncomfortable. It's deeply uncomfortable. I've only felt it with my hand. I've never been on a unicycle is so uncomfortable. It's deeply uncomfortable. I've only felt it with my hand. I've never been on a unicycle because I don't have that type of balance. The amount of core strength that you need to be on a unicycle is truly impressive. That's why like think about
Starting point is 00:25:36 like any time you see like like that's why when you're watching RuPaul race you see somebody the fact, like, that's the fact of the thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiii, thiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the fact of this day that we're all amazed. You ever tried to get I tried to like getting on a unicycle is trying to do like a pogo stick. Mm-hmm. Have you tried to use a pogo stick? I feel like I can use a pogo stick. Pogo stick is a bit easier because the wheel of a unicythis is what happened though. So they're going opposite directions towards each other, right? Oh like a joust! One of them is looking and one of them I don't know what he's doing. He's just enjoying his beautiful
Starting point is 00:26:16 hipster day like he's just looking around. The other guy sees him coming and and it's like hey hey hey hey hey and then they perfectly run into each other. Perfectly, it's like the wheels come together first and then the body's it. For a split second, they were a bicycle. And those bid... For a split second they were a tandem bike? Those beds scissored in the air and then fell down. My question is the guy that saw it coming, why did he not move? I don't think he really got control of that unicycle. I think that they're actually there each other's yin-yang
Starting point is 00:26:57 because I think that the guy that was vigilant isn't as good at unicycling and and the guy that wasn't paying attention. so good that he didn't have to pay attention. Oh so one was overconfident and then the other one didn't have the skills to... Because I'll tell you right now if I get on one just me being balanced is a victory. I don't I don't need to learn how to turn. Because I'm not going to ride this... that's the thing that looks the most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most most the most most most the most most the most the most most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most trecetetre tre tre tre tre the most the most the most te. te. the most the most the most the most the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the.a. I the. I the. I that that that that that that try. I te. I te. I te. I te. I don't. I'm te. I don't. I'm te. I'm te. I'm over-I. I'm that's that's that's their their that's te. I'm not going to ride this. That's the thing that looks the most treacherous on a unicycle is trying to turn. Because it always seems like a, it's like trying to like turn that like a buggy in a grocery store. Like you don't mean we have like just like a bad wheels and you're just like bodying this fucking car. Because you know what I'm talking about because it's like, you're like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a, a, a, like, a, like, a, like, like, a, like, a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like because he's from the South. But like just you ever just have like a just a bad buggy and you're like I'm gonna,
Starting point is 00:27:50 it's like a car with no power of steering fluid. It's like you just have to body this thing. That's always how like, unicycle always like you just have to scooch. Like you're just sliding across a really big booth in a restaurant, looks to be how you turn on a unicycle, and it all seems very dangerous to me. Yeah, I think that- Like too dangerous? I think unicycling outside, if that was the argument, you'd have me, but cycling outside.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Well, okay, what about unicycling inside? Unicycling inside means you just don't care about your stuff. What do you mean? Like you're gonna fall and you're gonna fall on your own stuff. No, it's a stationary bike, so it's a stationary unicycle. A stationary unicycle? I guess, I guess if you're already not going anywhere, that does make sense. Have you seen the under desk bikes?
Starting point is 00:28:43 Yes, and I don't... Tell me what you think about these things. I don't know if I believe them. Because I don't know if I do either. I think that when you just are kicking, to me, there's something about being on exercise bike and cycling outside where a body is already positioned to like really throttle that pedal, you know? Like you're really able to kick it as far as possible until it comes back around until you can do it again.
Starting point is 00:29:16 It's easy on the knees. It's better for you than running. It's like it's been figured out. The science is there. The under the desk bike where you just sort of kick and pedals you strapped into, it to, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, the, th, th, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, there's, there's, there's, there's, the, the, thee's, thee, throoooooooooooooe, the, the, the, figured out, the science is there. The under the desk bike where you just sort of kicking pedals you strapped into, it feels like the feet version of a straight jacket. Like, it's just chaos. It's just chaos. I hope we use the face that's just me.
Starting point is 00:29:41 It's just chaos. Like, I know that they think they're exercising. But I guarantee you, you're not burning. The cowers you thi th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's th, it's the, it's the, it's theats, it's theats theats theats the theats the theats the the the the the the th know that they think they're exercising, but I guarantee you, you're not burning, the cowers you think you're burning. Well, is it, I mean, have you seen, oh, have you seen like those long distance lay down bikes? Those make me nervous, even if I'm outside. Those feel like I need an open feel to maneuver in, because those just stress me out. I don't know why but why I Think that you're too relaxed like it doesn't feel like real exercise It seems a little too different. You know like when you see some it would be like if you saw
Starting point is 00:30:18 If you saw a car that could just fully drive on its side you'd be like I don't don't know if I need that. I think I'm good with all four wheels on the ground sitting horizontal. You talk about a car that just always existed just on two wheels? Yeah, I think if a car just was on two wheels driving sideways down the street, I'd be like they're in danger. And that's how that lay down bike makes me feel. Because like I like the trikes but like the ones where you're like sitting down also I guess that to me it still feels like one I'm sure it's much better for your back. What? They'll sit down bikes than being on like a regular ass bike. Oh maybe maybe so. I I don't know about that. My thing is it looks like you are lost.
Starting point is 00:31:10 Like there's never a time where I've seen someone use it where I was like, man, they're burning calories and working. Crazy. Every time I've seen it, I've been like, you look crazy. Just imagine kicking under your desk like a baby all day to burn six calories. I mean, that's why I don't like sitting in really high chairs at restaurants because I don't like to eat where my feet can swing. Well, this feels like a different problem. I don't know. It's like, you know, when you're just, my legs aren't, it just feels like, you know, like you sit on like a really like high chair and your legs can swing, you just
Starting point is 00:31:54 don't feel like grounded. Okay. I'm a short person, so I'm five four and nobody will believe me. Because all my friends are like, I thought you were taller than that. I was like, I don't know what that's supposed to be. Are you, you're 5-4? Mm-hmm. I'm 5-4-and-a-half. You know what it is?
Starting point is 00:32:14 You have, you have a presence that is taller that makes people think you must be five, six, five, seven. Man, what kind of life would I have if I was five, six? Ooh, but if you were five, six, like that, I talk about that all the time. I know I'm getting away from bikes for a second, but like if I've told it, even in stand-up, I've talked about this. If I was as as, if I was as as, if I was as as, if I was as thi, if I was as thi, if I was as thi, if I was as thi, I was as thi, I was as thi, if I was as I was as I was as I was as I was as I was as I was as a tho, if I was as a thi, if I was as a tho, if I was a, if I was 5, if I was 5, if I was, if I was, if I was, if I was, if I was, if, if I was, if I was, if I was, if, if I was, if, if I was, if, if I was, if I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was a, I was a, I was a, I was a, I was a, I was a, I was a thi, I was a thi, I was a thi, I was a thi, I was a thi, I was a thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi., thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, if I was a. was gonna be when I was little, I, like if I was a tall man, like six to, I'd be a problem. Like I wouldn't even be me, I'm not gonna lie to you. Think about how many men we know who are over six foot, or just six foot, who are a problem? Like, I don't even know if I'd be polite.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Like I'm a nice man because I'm pretty little. Like I know I know the weight class I'm dealing with. You know what I mean? I know who I can get base of my voice with. I do hate it when a man who is eye to eye to me. Like that's why I think they had the phrase like I remember like growing up where like you would hear two men growing back or forth if you just hear like I heard this man say to somebody you're talking real tall if someone said that I think it's your obligation to come back with with a with a bat like I think I think you can't like hey you talk a real tall for somebody in this situation and I'm just like I fully I tell that thi thii. I'm that that that that that that that that that that that that that that their that their that that that that their that their that that that that that that their their their their that. I that. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their so so so so so so I that that that that that toda. I'm toda. I'm just just just like like. I'm just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm toda. I'm just. I'm today. I'm just. I'm today. I'm just. know what this means now. Like you have no business saying these words because I've definitely met men
Starting point is 00:33:48 who had no business speaking to me. And it's. I thought you were gonna finish the sentence with something. And you just stopped speaking to me. I did. I finished it with what it needed to be finished with. But there's just certain times you just see like, someone engaging, like, like, th., th., th., th.. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, thi, thi, thi, as I'm, as I'm, as I'm, as I'm, as I'm, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I'm, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as, as I'm, as, as, as, as I'm thi, tole. to. too. I'm f. I'm f. I'm just, tole. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, but there's just certain times you just see like, someone engaging with somebody, you're just like, this is not right. How do I tell them that they have no business being where they are?
Starting point is 00:34:12 Like, please, sir, get off my lawn. Um, also we don't tell people to get off my lawn enough. I don't even have to be on grass, like, thrown, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to their.. to to tho, that, tho, tho, to be, tho, tho, the that, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they....... I, they. I, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. their even have to be on grass, but like, sir, get off my property. Oh, get off my lawn as an attitude. Yes. Okay, I see. I see what you mean. Not here for this nonsense. Get off my lawn. Like, very much no trespassing. Ah, no trespassing. No me thought guess, like, back up loser. But, uh, yeah, those state, like those bikes you sit down and pedal. They they they they they th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, their their their their their. Like, their. Like, their. Like, their. Like, their. Like, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I to. I see. I to. I to. I those state like those bikes you like you sit down and pedal they seem like they're much better for Your back also a segue I know I'm good Because I know I'm good for a tangent. I know I'm good to ramble, but like because think about it like if I was riding a bike Across the country, mm-hmm or even for like I don't, how long do people ride bikes for? They do marathons on bikes, right? How long is it theathlons on bikes? Yeah. But you do
Starting point is 00:35:11 but you, but a triathlon is like other sports, right? Yeah, yeah. So like, it's, I don't want triathlon, I just want one athalon. I don't know the Greek for the whole thing but I'm pretty sure Athelan implies more than one. Well a marathon you're just running. I know but you said I want just one aathlon you're just running. I know but you said I want just one athalon and I think that athalon. So you think that. Soalon, thawn will probably get you one. Marathon I think will get you one. Did you ever hear the story of the first marathon, the like legend or the myth behind it? From the ancient Greeks or
Starting point is 00:35:56 the Romans or whoever them whites were? Yeah. Tell me because I think I happen I don't remember. Okay so basically there was a war and then the messenger ran 26 miles to deliver the message that the battle had been won. So when he got there, he screamed Nique, which is victory. And it's actually where Nike comes from, and then he died. So it's very weird that we replicate the thing that killed a guy. It's like if someone did the first. It's, the first. It's, the first. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's the first. It's the first. It's the first. It's the first. It's the first. It's the first. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's the first the first the first. It's the first the first the first the first the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first. the first. the first. the first. It's the first. It's the first. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thirty. It's thirtythat we replicate the thing that killed a guy. It's like if someone did the first, it's like if the first flight, everybody died.
Starting point is 00:36:33 And then we were like, let's just do that. That's what it feels like with exercise. It feels like it was, like, it's. Because he ran 26 miles as an emergency. He wasn't like, I carved up last night. I'm feeling thia thia thia thia. thia. thia. thia. thiiii. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's like, I carved up last night, I'm feeling good. This is what I have a hard time believing. There wasn't a single horse. That this made me get a hold of. Yeah, it is it is weird that he didn't. Get a horse. Yeah. That's, bro, when the British was coming, Paul Revere didn't do that when Paul Revere was doing his ride there was somebody that
Starting point is 00:37:08 was trying to smash? You know there was somebody that was like shut up? I saw this TikTok where I guess this guy was being like they gave Paul Revere who was going to her like hey girl you know the British is coming right okay? Okay, goodness, like it was this, it was hilarious. Just like, like, it sounds like magic. Girl, girl, the British, I mean, they come in. And I laughed so hard. So, like, when you think about these like little things, history, because it's like, everything's fucked up.
Starting point is 00:37:42 So you can just take some little things, like something silly is like Paul Revere just like I don't know Ben Franklin that damn kite just out I'll tell you right now Paul Revere probably would have had an even smoother ride on a bike he would end up and the best ride in a car what we're talking about yeah yeah but you can't just bring cars into it. You know what we're here to do. You out here, and if he had a jet, if he had a private jet, then you know what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:38:12 Imagine if he had a drone, it was a- and then you undercut it with nonsense. But isn't that what I do? Like it's... Like it's... That's what I always do. You make a valid point and then I undercut it with not. That's what... I bring it to you every episode. What are you confused about?
Starting point is 00:38:38 It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion at all. I've been doing this day one. Can't stop, won't stop. Sorry about. It's not a confusion. It's. It's. It's the confusion. It's the confusion. It's thi. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that I. It's that I. It's that I that I that I that I's not a confusion. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's that I's not. It's that I always. It's that I always. It's that I always. It's that I always. It's that I always. It's that I always. It's that I that I that I that I that I that I. It's that I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's that. It's that. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's not a confusion. It's one can't stop won't stop. Sorry. It's not a confusion in the least it's a genuine frustration. Yeah I mean it's a what you mean? This is what the people came here for is nonsense and confusion, precipitation, you see what I'm saying? You can't just add other words. You can always add other words. That's what words it's for, baby. Ugh.
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Starting point is 00:40:21 If you can give me somewhere flat ground, no obstacles, no car doors, no grown men on a penny farthing and a dirty beard. Joe, did you read the article? Most men's beards are disgusting. Yeah, I mean, I didn't expect them to be clean. And that was our fault. That was our faults. You expected men to not be men, idiots. Not to say that all men aren't clean.
Starting point is 00:40:53 I'm just saying that the ones that they've talked to who seem to have beards are out here giving people face rash. But I digest. So we've got... I've been doing that for years. You were literally like one of like four people who was caught it. You know? Most people probably just think that I'm dumb. No, no, I'm just paying attention, you know. Thank you so much. Because when people don't catch it. I'm just like, do you not know I'm wrong or do you know what? It is wild that you say it but you judge people. that you judge people. thi? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I, I, I, I, I, no, I, no, I, no, I, I, I, no, no, no, no, I, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I, no, no, I, I'm, no, no, I'm th, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, no, no, no, no, no, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I I, I, I I, I I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I'm catch it. I'm just like, do you not know I'm wrong or do you not? It is wild that you say it but that you judge people. Not judge. Not judge. I just want to see if I go, hey, wait a did she? Did she? I feel like without being a judgey person. I feel like there are instances that are quite
Starting point is 00:41:48 small that lead you to judge. Yeah. Thank you for not thinking I'm a judge person. No, no. You're very understanding of people and like, you know, why they do stuff, but you're, there are little things that I've seen happen. Like for instance, I think you would judge this person. One of the reasons that I don't, I don't really love, love exercise bikes is because,
Starting point is 00:42:13 well, you take a peloton, right? A peloton, it's classically known. It's like known throughout the whole community of like indoor cycling and peloton and stuff like that, the shoes are hard to get out of the little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little.... the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the little, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the reason, one of the reason, one of the reason, one of the reason, one of the reason, one of the reason, one of the reason, one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one one, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoea. thoea. thea. theaugh, thea, thea, the the the reasons.oea. the reasons. the reasons. the reasons. One. the the the that the shoes are hard to get out of the little cages, right? You really gotta twist that shoe out, you gotta pull it out, you know? Why would you need a cage for a bike that's not going anywhere? Because by locking in the shoe, the special shoe that you use for the peloton, you're guaranteed to not like slip off or anything. There's special shoes? This the con con the con the con the con the con the kind the kind th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thus, thoes, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. You, th. You, th, th, you, you, you, th. You, you, you, you, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, that, that. thateeea. thatea. thatea. thatea. thatea. thatea, that, that, that, they're special shoes. This is the conjoin. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:42:46 So, those things are very hard to get out of. So I know of a person who was trying to like really get out of them, like wiggle out and everything but their feet were stuck. They're also very tired from the ride that they just had. And so then they fell, they're very they're very they're very their they're very their they're very they're very they're very their they're very their they're very they're very they're very their their their they tired tired tired tired thired thired thired thired thired tired tired tired from thired from their thired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired tired thired their their their they're very their they're very they're very they're very they're very they're very their thired thir ti. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. ti. ti. ti. t then they fell, they like stood up but fell backwards and fell off the bike backwards. And so now their feet just locked in. Like now they're just, now someone has to come find them. Like now they're at it.
Starting point is 00:43:14 Oh, yeah. I was talking with Logan about this because I was like, what do you do with that situation? And Logan is who is who? Logan is my buddy. Logan and I do the Josh Johnson show together. And the Josh Johnson show is what? Oh, it's my podcast. I do this podcast with you and I. Always be promoting!
Starting point is 00:43:35 Josh Johnson has another podcast called the Josh Johnson show. Hope we don't cut this out. Hope we don't cut out the promotion for my friend Jared. Listen, we can promote other things. We can do commercial breaks and drops and shit. So listen, Josh, I understand how nice it is to ride a bike. Listen, I was on a date on a bike, uh, I think, and then I think after that, the dude, might just to have my credit card information, but that's even here nor there. So I was on a date on a bike through Central Park. Mm-hmm. And I was talking to one of my friends about it.
Starting point is 00:44:10 And she was like, you went to get ice cream? And then you wrote a bike through Central Park in this day. She's like, bitch, we had a Drew Barrymore date where you want. And I was like, it's a great real romcom date that I was on but I never saw that man again one of the reasons that he had duck teeth second reason think it might have sold a credit card but that's not that's how do you how do you think a person stole your credit card where they're not charges that what you don't recognize it's they because my my card company sent me a new card like out of no way and like I remember like I than to the try the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th to to to to to to to to their their to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tra. their their their their their their their we were on the day and I had somebody in my card and then I said to sign for it on a package this was like you know This was the summer of like 2020 we were just like startly slowly
Starting point is 00:44:56 I've got to do everything outside and I remember saying to me is that always how you sign your name and I was like what? Man you know your birthday is such an interesting number. Is it also your pen? Right, and then like literally like a month later, I got a new card. I was like, what the fuck? Yeah, I mean, maybe he stole your credit card.
Starting point is 00:45:22 Now, now I understand how it's a maybe, you know. Right. And so, but always, it's like, that was like, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that's that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a their their their their their th.. th. that's a thi. that's a that's a that. that. and so but always it's like that was my fault with trust and a nigger with duck teeth. That's my fault. I mean, so I guess I can... I know you want to know what duck teeth are, but you're like, we don't have the time to go through this. We don't have wea to wrap. because I feel like we've covered a lot of ground, almost as if we were on a bike outside. Right, and so like, I was riding through Central Park and there were so many bikes and then I was an electric bike and I was just like, oh, uh, so very much like a girl on a date vibe that hadn't been on a bike since the fucking Clinton administration. Um, because that's how old I am. Don't worry I was in high school in the 90s. Well, I was in school in 90s. Shut up. So I Riding a bike in a park is nice, right?
Starting point is 00:46:12 Okay. Because there are no cars. Mm-hmm. The ground is even. You're not trying to go up a mountain. There's no bike jumps. There's not doing this BMX extreme sports X games shit. Because like all those bike tricks and things are really cool. Lowrider bikes, very cool. But like, I think for me, if you can give me a bike in a controlled situation, like a bike where I'm not going to be, I'm not facing all of these road hazards, there's no loose gravel, all of these things.
Starting point is 00:46:52 If you could give me just a nice cul-de-sac, or maybe like an indoor track, even an outdoor track, or a nice park, but something where I'm not dealing with like the hazards of being on a bike. I'd be on a bike outside. The problem is most of the time people are on bikes as an adult, you're not in that situation. You through a whole city that's trying to kill you in any way that it can.
Starting point is 00:47:17 So maybe other cities aren't trying to kill people, but New York is definitely, like New York is a Lake Lanier of cities. It's always trying to kill somebody. So I guess we've come to a slight consensus. You're into exercise bikes mostly because of the controlled environment. But if you get the right conditions outside, you'll go for a regular bike ride. If you can get me park on like a nice day. Mm-hmm. And a helmet. And a face shield, I get on a bike. Gotcha, gotcha. I get on the bike.
Starting point is 00:47:53 I like being like being outside on a bike as nice, but it's like there's too many ways to die on a bike. And I can concede that an exercise bike inside is better for tracking progress and making sure you're keeping pace. Because when you get tired on a bike outside and you're doing it for exercise, you just give yourself that little bit to slow down. But on an exercise bike when you're on like a peloton, you can tell that you're dipping in your cadence, you know? Plus the other thing is like if you're on a bike outside outside outside outside outside outside outside outside outside outside outside...... I I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. thi. to to to thi. the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. to to to thi. to to to ty. to to try. to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. the other thing is like if you're on a bike outside for exercise you're traveling a distance. So like if you go five miles from your
Starting point is 00:48:31 house and now you're tired, how you're gonna get back to your house? I mean you're daring yourself with every pedal that you can make it back. Because it's like now you got to get an Xcel Uber. Or put your bike on a bus or a train. Yeah, which no one's going to enjoy by the way. No one's going to enjoy. When you're on the bus or train with somebody with a bike and their bike is just bumping into people and rolling over people's feet,
Starting point is 00:48:59 you're like, they don't know how to ride a bike. No and they're probably just tired. I get that they're just tired from cycling as much they've been cycling but another part of you is like you have a bike it's like being on the train in your car. You have a means of transportation. What are you doing now? You have other wheels why are you on these wheels? Get off these wheels. I don't have those wheels. I have these wheels. thie. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the. to they're to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. tho. the. tho. the. I don't have those wheels, I have these wheels, get off these wheels. That does make sense. Yeah, it's because now they have those tiny bikes that you can like fold up so you can bring them on the train with you. But then when you see a grown man on one of those, I'm just like, you're not comfortable with, seeing you on this bike. So now there's really nothing to do but to give it to you the listener to let us know in the comments, let us know in your write-ins, how do you feel exercise bike versus biking outside, just regular, you know, cycling in the world with nature. We appreciate you listening very much.
Starting point is 00:50:02 I'm Josh Johnson. And I'm Dulce Sloan. And we're here with Hold Up. We're here every week and we look forward to holding you up in the future. RIP Jack Knight, we love you. Listen to Hold Up wherever you get your podcast and watch the video version at Daily Show.com, backslash, hold up. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.

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