The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Hunter Biden, Trump's Kids and Cashing In on Family Connections | Cyntoia Brown-Long & Ali Wong
Episode Date: October 17, 2019Trevor highlights how Hunter Biden and the Trump children benefit from their family names, Cyntoia Brown-Long discusses "Free Cyntoia," and Ali Wong talks about "Dear Girls." Learn more about your ad...-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Shout up to the Midas-Myday! October 16th, 2019. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York,
this is the Daily Show, everybody.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you for coming out.
As always, thank you so much for coming out.
I'm Trevor Noah.
We have two guests, two guests joining us tonight.
First, her new memoir is about her search for redemption in America's prison
system.
Santoya Brown Long will be joining us everybody.
And then after that, we're going to chat with a superstar comedian and an actor who's
out with her first book, Ali Wong, is going to be on the show.
Also, tonight's show, China is joining the Lakers.
You never have to touch your phone again, and the Trumps and Biden's play family feud.
So let's catch up on today's headlines.
Let's kick it off with some sports. on today's headlines.
Let's kick it off with some sports news. The conflict between the NBA and China over the Hong Kong protests continued this week.
But now, King James has stepped into the fore.
In Hong Kong tonight, basketball superstar LeBron James under fire, his fame jersey up and smoke.
Furer growing over his response to this tweet sent by
Houston Rock as general manager Darrell Mori earlier this month in apparent
support of anti-government protesters. I don't want to get into a feud with
Darrell Moray but I believe he wasn't educated on on the situation at hand.
Those comments setting off a political brush fire here at home. Republican senators
quick to pounce Rick Rick Scott of Florida, writing,
clearly, King James is the one who isn't educated on the situation.
Nebraska's been sass, you're parroting communist propaganda.
China is running torture camps, and you know it.
Yes, LeBron James is getting a lot of heat for not taking a stand against China and their oppression, with people even burning his jersey in Hong Kong,
which, by the way, if the NBA kept statistics of most jerseys burned,
I think LeBron would dominate that too.
Yeah, Hong Kong burns his jersey, Cleveland burned his jersey,
Miami burned his jersey.
Like, forget Nike,
Lebron should get sponsored by Kingsford Light Fluor.
That's what they should do. This guy's been killing it in every field.
And you know, normally I would agree that NBA players shouldn't have to know the intricacies
of East Asia policy, but at the same time, Dennis Rodman is basically the U.S.
Ambassador to North Korea, so I don't know what the rules are anymore. I also understand why people think Le I also understand why people think LeBron's comments were insensitive or misguided.
But at the same time, I get where he's coming from.
Yeah. Because the Houston Rockets GM slammed China on Twitter when LeBron was on his way to China.
So Lebron was probably like, hey, man, stop this beef after I leave. the thrown the same thing. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoome. thoome. thoome. their their thoome. their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's te. I's tea. I's tea. tea. te. te.e.e.e.e. the.e. thea. thea. thea. thea. the same thing like if you ask me in China what I thought about China's policies I'd be like oh I think China has
policies and they are the policies that allow me to fly home from China.
All right but let's move on to a more American scandal involving Gina Rodriguez.
Some people have said that the Latina actor has a history of making
insensitive or condescending remarks about black people. And yesterday, she did not do herself any favors.
Be careful what you post on Instagram.
Here is your fair warning because actress Gina Rodriguez, learn that the hard way.
Voodoo, I could do what you do. Believe me. Niggis, give me a hebe, jabies.
Now apologizing for using the n-word in a post. Hey, what's up everybody? I just wanted to reach out and apologize.
I am sorry.
I am sorry if I offended anyone by singing along to the Fugees,
to a song I love that I grew up on.
I love Lauren Hill.
And I really am sorry if I offended you.
Okay, here's Trevor's tip of the day.
If you insist on saying the end word word when you're rapping along with the song,
don't do it on Instagram.
Yeah.
Do it on the mosque singer, okay?
Yeah, because then people have to wait three weeks to see if they get to be mad at you.
Yeah, they'll be like, I think that was T-, because they make the songs.
I think rappers could help prevent these incidents from happening in the first place.
Right, because think about it, rappers already make songs that are safe for radio.
I think now they need to make versions of their songs that are safe for non-black people.
Yeah, they can just replace the n-word with something safe like my friends. You know what I mean?
Yeah, it just changes.
It's like, and if you don't know, now you know, my friend?
It's a lot safer for everyone.
You just do it.
So like, every single song, Ball's so hard, you want to find me?
And finally, some tech news that'll change the way
you make obscene gestures at your phone.
Google's newest phone works without even touching it.
The Pixel 4 was unveiled at an event in New York City.
Like Apple's iPhone, users can unlock the pixel with their face.
But the feature getting the most buzz is gesture control.
So let's say you're driving, listening to music,
and you want to advance to the next track,
you don't like that one, or you want to go back and listen to it again.
Google is hoping the new tech will lead to more sales
in the highly competitive smartphone market.
Wow! The first phone that will turn everyone into a magician's assistant.
Call mom. This really is amazing technology.
You can open your phone just by waving at it.
No one's ever had this technology,
except the front door of a Walgreens.
Never have we seen it before.
You know what's weird is how, like,
the way we unlock our phones is evolving.
Because first we had to type in a code,
and then we just have to pick it up and look at it.
Now we can just wave at it without touching it.
It feels like we're like slowly breaking up with our phone,
like we're just moving away.
The next one will let you unlock your phone,
by being like, it's not you, it's not you, it's not you, it's throwne.......... It's to, it's to, it's to, it's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. to. to. It's to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to. It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. It's to. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. to. to. to. to. to. th th th th th th th th th It's his gesture control is going to be like, and that's why, we need to take on the 1%?
Calling the one. No, no, no, I'm not calling. I'm not calling. Cancel.
All right, that's it for the headlines. Let's move on.
Let's stop story. Impeachment, it's democracy's mulligan.
For weeks now, practically everyone has weighed in on the Ukraine scandal.
From Trump to Pelosi to a cured rattlesnake, everyone, except the man at the center of it all.
Hunter Biden.
He sat on the board of a Ukrainian energy company while his dad served as vice president.
And now that Trump is using it to target his dad,
Hunter is finally speaking out.
Hunter Biden speaking out for the first time,
defending his business dealings in Ukraine,
saying he did, quote, nothing wrong at all,
but acknowledging to ABC News what he calls poor judgment.
Did I make a mistake?
Well, maybe in the grand scheme of things, yeah.
But did I make a mistake based upon some unethical lapse?
Absolutely not.
If your last name wasn't Biden,
do you think you would have been asked
to be on the board of Barisma?
I don't know.
Probably not.
I don't think that there's a lot of things
that would have happened in my life,
that if my last name wasn't Biden. thiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th th th th. th th th th th th th thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thi. thi. name wasn't Biden, his life would have been a lot different. For one thing, he definitely wouldn't have
gotten into the Harvard School of Surprise massages. Yeah. But you know, I do
appreciate Hunter's honesty there, because he admits that he was probably hired
by the Ukrainian energy company because of his last name. That's how the
world works. A lot of people get opportunities because of who their parents are. Cindy Crawford's daughter
is now a model. Andrew Cuomo's father was the governor of New York before him.
And do you think Harry Potter would have gotten all that attention if it
wasn't for his famous wizard? Right? No, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that he wasn't a good wizard, but he was like the only student who's named a the only. He was the only. He was the only the only. He was the thumbled. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was thi. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thin th. He's thin th. He's thin th. He's thin th. He's thin th. C. C. C. thin th. C. thi. C. C. C. C. C.umbledore knew. He was like personal. Yeah.
Dumbled called Ron in her mind.
He was like Freckles and Girl Harry.
And by the way, family names worked the other way too.
That's why Ginny Weasley was getting eaten by snakes in the basement.
It took everyone 400 pages to notice that shit.
I'm just saying, man.
The truth is your your name could be a big reason that you get a leg up in life. Like, I know for a fact, I know the only reason I got to where I am today is probably because
my great-great-grandfather built the ark.
Like, you know, I accept that.
What can I say, man, my great-great-grandphee loved boats and watching animals With that said, that's what he was doing on the boat. It's normal.
Now, with that said, with that said, you can't deny.
It's not a good look that a Ukrainian company hired Hunter Biden,
just months after Joe Biden,
became the Obama administration's point man on Ukraine,
because it looks very much like he got this business because of his father's position.
And I understand why a lot of people would complain about that. What I don't understand is why these people are
complaining about that. Let's talk about the double standard. What do you guys
think would happen if Donald Trump Jr. went to China and came back with $1.5.00.
No, no, not $1.5 billion, just $0.5.
Can you imagine if I took $0.3 from the Ukraine or $0.4 from China?
I mean, it's unbelievable.
We gave up our entire business so my father could run for present.
We don't do anything overseas anymore.
We gave up.
We didn't have to.
Do you see me on any boards?
Do you see Don on any boards?
Do you see Yvon on any boards?
Oh, okay.
First of all, I'm not surprised.
Nobody has put Beavis and Forehead on a corporate boards.
That's not a thing. I don't even think they're allowed on diving boards.
It's like, no, Eric, you're jumping off the wrong end.
Jump into the wet part, dude.
And secondly, and secondly, if there was ever an example of people who got opportunities
because of their names, it's these two.
I mean, Donald Trump, Jr. just got paid $50,000 to give a speech at a college. If he wasn't Donald Trump's son, why else would they be asking him to speak?
To share his expertise on bad beards?
Huh?
Or would it be more like, ladies and gentlemen, a man who once sat on a tree stumped, Don Jr.
He's like, so what happened was my bunions were acting up, and there was no chair inside? But then I remembered, someone once told me tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th I remembered someone once told me, stumps are okay to sit on, thank you, good night.
Also, also, if Trump's sons are actually concerned,
like truly concerned about children of politicians doing business overseas,
then can someone please explain to me why they've been doing this.
Trump promised no new foreign deals, but that hasn't stopped his family from
continuing business overseas.
The Trumps have plowed ahead with deals in India, Indonesia, Uruguay, and the Philippines
that were already in the works before Trump took office.
By Wednesday, Eric Trump will have gone to four countries on Trump company business since
January 1st.
In early January, it was a trip to Uruguay for a glitzy party to promote a new property. This morning Donald Trump Jr. is in India to promote Trump-branded condos in two cities
there.
As a business, we're going to continue to run.
We have incredible assets all over the world that will continue to operate and to
grow.
Yeah, that's right. Even with their dad in office, the trums are still growing their business, their business, their business, their business, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, trimea, tha, tha, t India, Philippines, Indonesia, Uruguay. They're all over the world.
It's like the amazing race with no running and no chins.
Don and Eric are doing so much international business.
It almost feels like Donald is just trying to not spend time with his sons.
You know, it's almost like, he's like, boys, I've got a new business for you
to take care of.
It's on Mars. It's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, th. It's like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thei. thei. tooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. thi. thi. but dad, there's no way to get back from Mars, and I appreciate your sacrifice. Bye-bye.
And I know this is crazy to say.
I know this is crazy to say.
But at least Donald and Eric are one step removed from the presidency.
Because there are other Trump children who are in business and governments.
Jared Kushner and Ivanka's roles in the White House opened up another potential avenue for foreign influence.
Officials in at least four countries talked about ways they could manipulate Kushner,
in part by taking advantage of his complicated business entanglements.
Ivanka Trump trucet took in as much as $135 million in revenue last year.
That includes almost $4 million, Ivanka Trump pulled in from her stake in the family hotel here near
the White House, where diplomats and foreign dignitaries spend big money.
Last year, China approved more than a dozen trademarks for Ivanka, therunked trade-marks.
The timing, just as the US and China were trying to restart trade talks, raised eyebrows.
Okay, come on.
China approved a dozen trade marks for Ivan, as her dad was negotiating trade deals with China.
You can't tell me that's not suspicious timing.
I mean, it's like how right before Christmas, my mom said that a horrible accident happened at Santa's factory.
Yeah. How does this happen every year, mom?
They need to look into safety regulations at the factory, I'll never get my to toys.
And China does not mess around with its trademarks.
That's what you have to understand.
For instance, Michael Jordan had to fight for four years to trademark himself.
Yeah, the Chinese courts argued that this was not Michael Jordan.
Yeah, they were like, no, that could be anyone.
They were like, they're the today.
That's how crazy they are about about about about about about about about about about about about they are they are they are their they are they are they are they are their. Who knows, that's me. That could be me. That's how crazy they are about trade marks. And I mean, that's wild.
This would be like saying that this isn't Don Jr.
I mean, no one else has ever sat on a stump like that.
We know who that is.
Stump man, stump man.
Now, let's be clear. I'm not defending, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, th. th. thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, tho, tho, th th thu, tho, tho, tho, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th, that's th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th tho, thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. th't know about his business. All I'm saying is that the last people who should be talking about the blurred lines
of family names and political influence
are the people currently running their home office from the White House.
We'll be right back. The candidates for November are set.
I know Donald Trump's type.
Between now and Election Day.
We are not going back.
A campaign season unfolding faster.
Comilla Harris is not getting a promotion.
Then any in recent history.
Make America great again.
Follow it all with new episodes every weekday on the NPR Politics podcast.
Welcome back to the Daily Show.
My first guest tonight was just 16 years old when she was convicted of killing a man
who solicited her for sex and sentenced to life in prison.
After serving 15 years, she was granted full clemency and tells her story in the new book,
Free Sontoya, my search for redemption in the American prison system.
Please welcome, Sontoya Brown Law. There are few stories you will read in a book.
Fiction or fact that have as many twists and turns as the real life that you have lived.
I knew a few details of your story, but reading through the book is a really powerful and
painful and then redemptive experience at the same time.
When you wrote the story again, was it hard for you to relive experience at the same time. When you wrote the story again,
was it hard for you to relive some of the decisions
and some of the things that happened to you in your life
that got you to where you ended up?
It was.
You know, when I started writing the book,
I had thought that I had dealt with everything that had happened to me.
And when you're actually writing those thi it brings up that time, that moment,
you have to step back in there,
especially when I started working with a writer,
who's an amazing writer, Bethany Mogger,
asked really great questions,
asked me about some of the things that I was feeling and thinking,
things that I really hadn't given much consideration to,
and it opened those moments back up. And so it was really good to be able to just really process that
and to just really step back in those moments,
even though it was hard.
One part of your story that is particularly powerful and complicated,
is when you talk about your relationship with the idea that you were involved
in sex trafficking.
And it's really, really gripping in the book, because you say you didn't consider yourself to be a the the the the the to just, the to be a to be a to be a the to be a the to, the to, the to, the to, the the to, the the to, the the to, to, to be a, to be, to be a, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, just, and, just, just, just, and, just, just, just, and, and, just, and, and, just, just, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they..e.. they. they. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. And it's really, really gripping in the book,
because you say you didn't consider yourself to be part of sex trafficking in any way.
You know, there's a passage where you say,
I thought of sex traffic victims as people who were in suitcases
or stuffed into containers and chained,
and yet I thought I had a boyfriend when, in fact,
this was your pimp, who was making you do what you would what you were doing in the world. Is that part of the problem that we face in dealing with sex trafficking?
Is that some of the people who are involved in it don't think of themselves as being victims in the problem in the situation?
Absolutely. You know, if you can't identify, you know, victims when it comes to some of the people who are supposed to be saying, you know, this is child abuse. I came across a study where I think it was 57%
of mandatory reporters where these are counselors, these are teachers, these
are people who are in constant contact with youth. They're supposed to report
every instance of child abuse and 57% of them thought that some
teenagers willingly prostituted themselves, thought that some
teenagers traded sex for shelter, for food because
they consented. And that's just not the case. That is abuse. That is exploitation. And these
individuals aren't reporting it. And if you have them saying, you're not a victim, you're
actually willingly doing this, I wouldn't believe it. And so for so long, I thought, I just consented. I was just promiscuous because that's what I was being told by society.
And so it took for a campaign from a group in Tennessee called end slavery that, you know,
they stressed that there's no such thing as teenage prostitution.
I didn't know anything about the federal statute that said anyone who's a minor, you know,
it's actually a trafficking victim. There's no such thing as consent. And, you know, that was
hard to kind of face. I used to argue with people when they said, you know, you
were taking advantage of, no I wasn't, I knew what I was doing. And that's just not
the case. It's really hard to be in that situation where you still want to maintain your agency, but at the same time you have to admit that something was done to you.
You faced the ultimate punishment for what happened to you in your life, and that was, after
this man solicited you, took you back to his place, abused you and essentially held you
captive in his world.
You killed him and you were sentenced to life in prison. It was meant to be over 50 years.
You served 15, which is essentially a life sentence
because you were 16 years old at the time.
In that time in prison, what did you think your world was going to be?
You know, because you went in as a 16-year-old? Well, I don't know, but I know that every since I was in prison, I'd always dreamed of, you know, living a real life.
I'd never let go of hoping that I would get out one day.
So I really feel like I'm living my dream right now.
Yeah, so I always kept, I always kept that faith and kept that hope.
Is that why you studied in prison?
It is.
Because that was fascinating to me in the story is,
here's somebody who's going to spend the rest of their life in jail.
There is no promise that you will get out.
And yet here you are studying, furthering your education,
trying to just make the best of the time that you you don't think you're going to get out? Because I didn't believe them. I didn't believe them when they told me I had like...
Yeah.
And I would make a point of when I would say things, you would hear a lot of people say, you know,
if I get out or if my confession is overturned, I would always say when I get out. And I know my husband, I would talk to him all the tap thap tho th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, thin, thi, thou, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, I, I th, and I th, and I, and I th, and I, and I th, and I th, and I would, and I would, and I would, and I would th, and I would th, and I would th, and I would th, and I would th, and I would th, and I would th, and I would th, and I thin, I would thin, and I would thin, I would thin, and I would thin, and I would thin, thoua, th thin, thoua. And, th th thin, thoua. And, I would th th th the time, well, when I get out, I want to do this.
And he would always be like, well,
let's cross that bridge when we get there.
But it's just something that came so natural
when I get out, when I get out, when I get out.
And it was like that for the entire 15 years.
When we look at the criminal justice justice system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system system tod tod tod tod tod that there are many Sintoya Browns who are experiencing its
adverse effects.
If there was one thing you wish would have been different when it came to how your case
was handled, what would you wish that thing would be that would be applied to every case
going forward?
My case specifically, number one, I do think that there are things that I needed to be held
accountable for.
And I think there are a lot of cases with juveniles who commit certain crimes, there has
to be a level of accountability.
There has to be consequences.
However, a juvenile is not the same as an adult.
Even the Supreme Court has already ruled that several times and a
string of cases. So it just doesn't seem like it makes sense to me for the
Supreme Court to say that juveniles are not as culpable as adults however they
can get the same sentencing. They can get the same sentence. Right. And so I
definitely think that that should have been different. I think it needs to change. It's still the case now. You still have juveniles who the juveniles the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the, thrinea, the, the, the, the, the, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin. thin. thin. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. thin. thin. thin. the. thin. thin. the, the, the, the, the, think that that should have been different. I think it needs to change. It's still the case now.
You still have juveniles who are tried as adults,
and they receive the same exact sentences as adults.
And I just, I think that's one of the things that needs to change.
And to be honest with you, I think a lot of sentences are just excessive in general. I think that 51 years is ridiculous. Like if you're going to give somebody life without parole,
give them life without parole.
Don't say, I'm going to give you a chance at parole
after 51 years.
That's not a chance.
That's a death sentence.
Like, who's going to make 51 years in prison?
Nobody.
You have lived a story many wouldn't dream of living or have nightmares of living. You've come out on the other side, you still smile,
you say you're living your dream,
you have the opportunity to live now.
What are the things Sintoya does where you just go like,
man, this is, apart from being free,
this is just what life is about?
Honestly, like, when I'm just at home,
sitting on the floor watching a movie I've cooked I
got my hair all over my head just you know just just chilling like this is it
this is what life is about I don't have to worry about you know watching the
clock because it's gonna be count time or I need to hurry up and get my
shower in before lockdown you know it's just just being able to be free
that's all you can ask for Thank you so much for being on the show.
Wonderful having you here.
Free Centoya, a stunning book is available now.
Sentry Brown Long, everybody. We'll be right back. This election cycle has already been quite a ride. Scared, nauseous, wishing this thing had seatbelts,
Pod Save America is here to help.
I'm John Lovett and each week, me and my co-hosts,
John Favreau, Tommy Vitor and break down the political news
that makes you laugh, cry, and scream into the void
to help you figure out your favorite podcast platform now.
Welcome back to the Davis show.
My next guest is a writer, actor and stand-up comedian with two hit Netflix comedy
specials
and the film Always Be My Maybe. She has a new book called Dear Girls,
Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets, and Advice for Living Your Best Life. Please
welcome, Shirley Wang. Thanks, Trevor. It's my first time being here. It is your first time being here. I feel like it's been way long. It's been way too long because I watch everything you do and I'm like a giant fan and then I see you everywhere else. It is your first time being here. I feel like. to. their. to their way. to. their. to. their. th. to. thr. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. then I see you everywhere else. And then- Oh my God, you're like stalking me?
No, for real, congratulations on everything you've done.
I mean, like, we watched you blow up and stand up, which everyone loves.
And then, the thing that really brought me, Joe, was just seeing how you kick ass in movies as well.
Oh, thanks so much. You're a movie star now, you realize thatthat right? It was well it was really fun and I got to Mac on those three fine-ass dudes. You watched the movie right? I know. Yes. It was like who wrote
this thing like whose idea was this? Who was in charge? You have Keanu Reeves
fighting over you? I mean and then he came to your show didn't he? He came to my show
which was amazing he was so sweet and he was like in such a good mood afterwards too who who too too too too too to th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was th. He was like, th. He was like, th. He was like, th. He's thi. I was like, thi. He's th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, th. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I I was like, I I I was like, I was like, I I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, thi. I was like, thi. I was like, thi. I'm thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I was like, thi. I was like, thi. I was amazing, he was so sweet and he was like in such a good mood afterwards too, who's really smiley. Yeah, it was the best.
People get confused though if like Keanu Reeves plays your boyfriend in a movie
and they see him at your show. Isn't someone like, I think it's real?
No, no one, no one, I mean like I'm cute or whatever, but no one thinks that he really wants to date me. They were like, that movie, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. If, th. Like, th. If, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th th th to date me. They were like that movie was straight-up fiction like all my friends were like
All my you're you're cute, but you ain't that cute
You have fans of your stand-up. You have fans of your movies, but a book is a very different medium for us to engage
Ali Wong in your first book and it's also an interesting style of book. you've written this book dear girls It's specifically written to your children letters to my my two daughters. Right. I have th, the the th, the th, their th, their th, their their th, their th, their their their th. their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're their their their their their their their th. their te, tou, tou, te. te. te. te. tea, you're their their their their their their their their their their Dear Girls, it's specifically written to your children.
Letters to my two daughters.
Right.
I have two girls who are under the age of four.
And the first one was in that striped dress.
When I filmed baby Cobra and the second one's in the leopard dress and they're very aware
of it too.
Like they know which ones they were.
And I wanted to......... to, my to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the th, th, th, they were and I wanted to my dad wrote me this letter before he passed away and my
My real name is Alexandra and it was started with dear Alexandra and he
Like reflected a lot on our relationship and how I had affected his life and it was a short letter and I love it so much
Wow, but I wish that he had written me more because because after he passed, it was too late to ask him
all these questions about who he,
when I was born, like he was already the successful anesthesiologist.
Right.
And in the same way, like when my girls were born,
they only know me after I filmed those two specials, and they don't know what it took for me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when I I I I the, when, when I the, when I the, when I they, when I was, when I was, when I was, when I was, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they.... they. they. the they. they. they. they. the for me to get where I am and how I... The grind before... The grind before and I think that's so... That's such an important life lesson. They
and I want them to know that I wasn't, you know, that I struggled a lot and the
I had to work really hard so. It really is an interesting book because you know when when I first got the book they were like, oh no, this is gonna be like a cute, a, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th... I, th. I, th. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that I, that I and then she writes about like a rectal dysfunction, like that she experienced while living in New York.
Yeah, yeah, and then I was like, this is,
this is like, it's very, it's very, it's very real.
Like, I'm assuming it's not for them now.
No! They're like reading, like, there's so much like dirty content in there that's like even more dirty than my specials
that I hope that they watch the specials
long before they read the book.
Right.
But, but I mean, as much as it is for your daughters,
it really is for women in general.
That's what I, that's what I love about the book,
because you're telling your story. And, for instance, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, the, tho., tha, the, the, the, the, the, for instance, you just talk about how much you have to love stand-up as a woman when, like you talk about like going
to, like walking to your car at like 1 a.m. by yourself. I think the reason, I think a big reason
why there aren't more women who do stand-up because you have to test out your material in all
these different cities in front of all these different audiences and that's
it's a safety issue I think that's why more women don't do it because
when you go on the road the first day you go out as you know you get
into a car with four strangers always Always, yes. From your, and it's crazy. You just like get to a car and you like,
I never met this person before.
Yes, they could kidnap you.
It's like a random thing.
And you're very kidnappable.
Yes.
But you could defend yourself.
But no, but this is it.
I mean, like, because in a random comedy club, and then they just tell you like, Jim is going to pick you up.
And you're like, who's Jim?
They're like, he works with the club.
You're like, at the club or with the club?
Yeah.
There's no picture being sent to your phone.
You don't know who Jim is.
Some guys coming.
Yeah, the car, there's always, there's always like, you get in the car
and the person's always, oh, you can just throw that on the back seat.
There's always something on the back that you have to throw.
There's like, old freedos and stuff.
Yes, yeah, whatever. But for a woman, it's like, am I going to get killed?
You like, every time, you know, you think about that.
And it's, it was, like, I think about the days when I started,
and I would never want my daughters to go through that.
You also talk about, like, just the journey of your rise in comedy.
You know, you talk about your success, the grind that came behind it, but then you talk about like just the experiences that you've had where someone, you know, many people in fact,
try to reduce you to just, you know, your factor, so they went like, oh, you're getting
you're successful, just because you're Asian or just because you're a woman, just because
you're pregnant. There's so many, there's so many, even know if you would know who he was. No, I don't.
But he came up to, you wouldn't know.
You're out of there now.
But he like came up to me while I was pregnant the second time.
And he touched my belly with his like fat,
sweaty hand, which is so gross to begin with.
It's like, it's like, why, why, why, why, why, why, doesn't mean it's okay for you to touch my belly.
And he was like, oh, so this is your stick.
This is like your thing now, right?
And I'm like, I was like, getting pregnant
is not rainbow suspenders.
It's not a stick.
And then he was like, you're so lucky,
Allie, because you get, historically that's always been the winning combo
for recognition and success. And he was like, and he was like, you know what I mean, like,
me, I'm just another white guy. And I was like, be a better white guy. There's so many successful. There's like, there's Jimmy Kimmel, there's Will Farrell, there's Nick Crowell, there's John Malaney. I can name, like, I could go on, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, be a, I, be a, be a, be a, be a recognition, be a recognition, be a, be a recognition, be a, be a recognition, be a, be a recognition, be a recognition, be a, be a recognition, be a, be a recognition, be a recognition, be a recognition, be a recognition, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be a recognition, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, be, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, recognition, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, there's like, there's Jimmy Kimmel, there's Will Farrell,
there's Nick Crow, there's John Malady.
I can name like, I could go on this whole show for like 35 days.
We'll do like another show just of successful white comedians.
Just be a funnier white guy.
Right.
So, um, the girls are going to read the book, girls out there will read the book. Women can read the book too, Trevor. I like that. I did. I did.
I did. I did. I did. My husband wrote the afterword too. It's very sweet. Yes, he did. He wrote a
beautiful thing about how like you consult with him about the jokes that you will tell about him on
stage, which is really nice. I like that. That was really sweet. And it was very sweet. It was very sweet and what it's like to be married to me, you know? Because people, that's the number one question people ask him all the time.
Because they think I'm like standing up on a couch with like a growing life form inside
of me just like screaming these like very funny anecdotes at him all the time and he's like,
that's not, you know.
That's not our life.
Ali. Congratulations on another successful endeavor. Thank you so much. Thank you for being on the Daily. You can catch Ali on the Milk and My Tour.
Dear Girls is available now for everybody.
Alleynog, everybody.
The Daily Show with Cover the todnights at eleven ten central on comedy central
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more This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. This election cycle has already been quite a ride.
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