The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jordan Klepper & Desi Lydic On Binance CEO Pleading Guilty | Rep. Jeff Jackson
Episode Date: January 31, 2024Desi Lydic & Jordan Klepper cover the latest in the news including Binance's CEO pleading guilty, Biden's cord-cutting proposal, and gender equality for crash test dummies. Plus, North Carolina Re...p. Jeff Jackson talks about combatting outrage politics with explainer videos on TikTok and other social media platforms, how some members in Congress treat their jobs as “daily tryouts for the outrageous Olympics,” and why he wants to fight political corruption and gerrymandering as Attorney General of North Carolina.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show,
coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about
ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as
podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Let's kick things off with some news about cryptocurrency.
Historically, it's the best investment if you're looking to have your money stolen by a guy whose mattress is 100% for sure on the floor.
But now there's one less place for Americans to trade it.
This morning, another major blow to the cryptocurrency industry as the leader of the
world's largest crypto exchange pleads guilty to multiple US violations, including money laundering. The feds accused Binance and its CEO, Changpeng Jau, of processing more than 100,000 transactions
by child abusers, cyber criminals, and even terrorists.
Jow has agreed to pay more than $4 billion in fines and step down as CEO.
And Binance will no longer do business within the U.S.
What?
What? No? You're telling me that that that that the that that the crypto that business within the US. What?
No, you're telling me the crypto guy was shady?
The crypto guy was shady?
It's so weird, but he was so nice when he sold me the weapons on the black market.
Yeah. I'm shocked. You know, but you know, there is that one thing that you always say. Oh, that's right. The one thing, what is it, um, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th???? th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're, you're th, you're th, thi, thi, you're thi, thi, you're thi, you're th, you're th, you're thi, you're thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. You, th. You're, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thin, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi know, there is that one thing that you always say. Oh, that's right. The one thing. What is it? Oh, oh, everyone in crypto is shady.
Have you ever talked to someone who's into crypto and thought to yourself, wow,
what an upstanding human citizen? I definitely would prefer talking to them rather than shooting myself in the face.
But yes, Binance is going to have to shut down in the US, which could jeopardize any
American who has money there.
To be fair, if you're a non-criminal who's lost money in this, that's on you.
Because at this point, investing in crypto is like playing Rkelly at your wedding.
You should know, it's not a good choice.
Desi, I gotta say I saw this coming from a mile away. I knew this company sounded fishy
from the moment I heard its name. The name Binance alone. It just it sounds like a four-year-old
trying to save finance. Yeah. It sounds like a woke economics course at Oberlin. I haven't really picked a currency. I'm more bina-nual. Basically a guy with a fake mustache thuuuu-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-o-o-o-o-o-o-s th-s th-s, I th-s, I'm th-o-o-s, I'm thi-s, I'm thi-s, I'm thi-I-I-I th-I th-I th-I thi-s, I thi-s, I thi-s, I thi-I I thi-I I thi-I I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi-I I th. I thi-I thi-s, I thi-s, I thi-s, I thi-s, I'm thi-s, I'm thi-s, I'm thi-s, I'm thi-s, I'm thi-s. thi-s. I'm toda-s. thi-s. I'm thi-s. I'm thi-s, I'm thi-s, I'm't really picked a currency, I'm more financial. Basically a guy with a fake mustache trying to get away with something.
Are you guys doing finance? What? No, we do Binaz.
With shmoney. No, thank you. I'm going to leave my money in the real banks where nothing bad ever happens.
Moving on to President Biden, Puls show that he's not doing well with young people, who
apparently find him suss, mid, and deficient in Riz.
All words, I, a young person, know quite well.
But Biden has a new policy to win them back.
The Biden administration wants to eliminate so-called cord-cutting fees.
It would be done through a new proposed rule from the FCC,
which would require cable and satellite TV operators to get rid of those early termination fees for subscribers.
The agency says those fees really limit a customer's ability to choose the service they want.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
So Biden wants to make it easier for people to cancel cable?
This is a bad idea, and I am not just saying that because we're on cable.
No, absolutely not. You're saying it because cable is the lifeblood of the American experience.
Cable is about family, tradtradition, the Bible, the Constitution.
Yeah, a 401ks for the on-air host, you know?
We get that, right?
Yeah, we do. Nice.
These fees are essential. I mean, we can't just get rid of that.
Maybe, you know, maybe we even double them.
Yeah, or can't canceling cable should just be illegal.
Maybe the death penalty, is that too much? It's not too much.
Definitely not too much.
I don't even think we should be talking about this right now.
I don't think we should talk about it either.
Let's move on.
Let's move on to some public safety news.
Recent studies show that women are more likely to be hurt in car crashes. the reason is obvious. Women are bad drivers. What you said?
It's, it's what you said.
It's sexism.
Yeah, sexism.
And now the auto industry is finally starting to do something about it.
When it comes to designing crash test dummies,
researchers say it's time to get smarter.
This is the average female.
Engineers in Sweden have developed a dummy
based on a woman's body.
More narrow shoulder area and a wider hip area.
It's also lighter and has a lower center of gravity.
All things experts say are important to consider when testing collisions at high speeds.
Wow, what a surprise.
The cars are designed to be safe for crash test dummies,
and the dummies are designed to represent men's bodies.
Although, to be fair, it's not just the dummies.
The study also revealed that right before a crash, men tense up,
while women usually whisper, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I will say, I'm glad they're finally making changes to the dummies, but if we were worried about accuracy, let's go all the way with this.
Why not fill the car with half-eaten takeout containers and a hockey stick that was left in
the back seat for the last three months, no matter how many times you told
him to bring it in the back seat for the last three months, no matter how many times you told him to bring it in the fucking house.
Let's see what happens when that hits a wall at 60 miles an hour.
Sorry, Jordan, it's been a tough week.
Yeah. No worries.
Thanks again for a drive-me-to-hocke practice.
Yeah, no problem.
So thanks to the scientists, and congrats on designing a mannequin that men won't dream about having sex with. Right, right, right, totally, totally, totally, totally, definitely.
So spot on, spot on, spot on, spot on. Can we move on please? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show
coming out every Thursday. We're going to be
talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings
calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot
of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?
Listen to the Weekly Show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
Our guest tonight is a former prosecutor and veteran serving his first term in Congress.
He represents North Carolina's 14th congressional district, and he's running for Attorney General
in North Carolina. Please welcome Democratic Representative Jeff Jackson.
Congressman Jackson.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
We're so excited to have you.
You're a incredibly successful politician.
Congressman Jackson, thank you for being here.
Thank you. So excited to have you.
You are a incredibly successful
politician but most people know you from your Tick-Tock videos. You do these
incredible explainers that distill down pretty complex issues in a
in a really clear digestible way. Is the intent to simplify these
issues for for people and get
that engagement? Are you really just posting footpicks?
Every consultant in D.C. told me to go the foot direction. I said that's not what I'm
about. No. You're a hands guy? We know you are. I love a good hand, Tic-tock
Oh, show me that. That vogue arrow? Give me some of this. Oh. I love a good hand, Tic-Top. Show me that, that Vogue Arrow. Give me some
of this. Lauren Bolver had a great hands video a few once ago. Great, great. Is that what you're
talking about? I'm a kitchen table guy? Right. I have a kitchen table, I put a camera on
the other side. I look into
it. I say here's the most interesting thing that happened to me in Congress
this week and then I posted to a bunch of different social-mea-trips. I have
been really surprised by the level of interest in this political environment where
everyone is yelling at each other all the time to be a normal tone of voice and try to convey some of the complexity and some of the nuance that there would be broad interest for that I think is really
encouraging I think it's a good sign. I know.
I feel the the platforms that we have our conversations on dictate the types
of conversations we have and Tick Tock is a short attention span
platform like what does it say about our democracy
that this is where the conversations are happening?
I've been surprised.
I wouldn't have expected that.
So I post to Tick Tock but also Facebook, Reddit, Twitter,
the place where most people view is Tick Tock.
When I'm home in my district, constituents come up and they say, hey I appreciate what you posted on Tick Tock. I would not th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I ttae, I tha. I ttae, I tha, I tha, I tha, I tha, I tha, I tha, I tha, I ttax, I ttax, I ttax, I'm tha. I thi, I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I'm ttttttttc. I'm tttc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. tc. t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t not have predicted that. I will tell you I've got 760,000 some odd constituents. My sense is about 300,000 of them are on Tick Tock.
No. I know Tick Tock's got all kinds of issues, but I think that reaching my constituents where
they are is also something of real value. It should be normal and expected that your
elected officials try and use social media to keep you posted about what they're doing.
It should be part of our job.
You think, you think, you think that half of your constituents are on TicTAC.
How many high schools do you have in your district?
You know, I've got a lot of young people, but look, there are people of all ages on all of the social media platforms, and every once in a while you meet a grandma who comes up and says,
I really love you on TickTock.
Usually they mention Facebook, but sometimes Tick Tock.
So, Nicky Haley has just openly spoken about banning Tick Tock and the security concerns.
Do you have those concerns? Yeah, those concerns are all legit.
Look, I have a phone that has one app on it and that app is
Tick-Tock and that's how I handle that. And that's because you fear what
what could happen. I mean, because the overall threat is that essentially the
Chinese government has access to your information and can influence the discourse because of it. Tos tho' thoo' th th th th the th. th. th. the thi thi thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and their, and their their their, and tick, and tick, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tick, and tickiii. tickiiii. ticki. ticki. ticki. tick tick tick tick tick tick tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, of my constituents are there, I'm gonna try and use it for good
and keep them posted about what I'm doing. I want to talk about some of the
people you work with. You you called out on your famous Tick-Toc videos
that a lot of the people in Congress you sense are faking this outrage.
That what we're seeing at home is essentially a bunch of people faking it. Who would you put on blast? Who are you talking about?
And does it rhyme with Marjorie Schmailer Schmey?
All I will say is this, it's not George Santos. Never. He's not faking it. Never a false word from that gentleman.
No, no. No. No. No. No. No. No. I'll tell you this, I've been in committees and I have watched when the camera turns on,
people's personalities change completely right before your eyes.
It's really jarring.
It is a literal theater, and you've got a handful of people there who are in competition
with each other every day to be the most outrageous, which is why it feels like when you look at Congress,
they're on this escalator that's just increasingly crazy and angry.
It's because they're playing a very specific game to try and get the attention of a very specific group of people,
and it's awful and exhausting. Most of people up there aren't playing that game.
The people we keep getting served up, they're playing the Outrage Olympics every day. That's how they treat their job in Congress
as the daily tryouts for the Outrage Olympics. I find it interesting because you have found the success.
You don't seem like the outrage kind of guy. I don't know, you always seem like you're at like an even five. the that that th th th out th out th out th out th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You always th. You always th. You always always always always always the th. You always always always always always always always always always the the the the the the the the the tho-like tho-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. theease. thoa-s. thease-s. thoa-Iii. thease like, you got like a nice dad energy.
Good dad.
Like, I'm not going to drink with you,
but I will pick you up if you drink too much.
Yes.
No questions asked, give me a call, right?
I'm that guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Why do you think right now, that's the dad American needs.
I can also say kind of a typsy uncle who can whip this country back into shape doing it.
We're dangerously close to that.
Just like, uncle is going to turn on us, we better shape up.
What does boil your blood?
Does anything get you going?
Outright political corruption.
For example, my state, North Carolina,
a horrible history with gerrymandering.
Jerrymandering is just letting politicians draw their own districts
because when you do that, they're all going to cheat.
When my party had the ability to draw the districts in North Carolina, they always cheated. When I was in the state politicians the state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state state the state the state, the state, the state, the state, the state, the state, the state, their, their, their, their, their, their, my party had the ability to draw the districts in North Carolina, they always cheated.
When I was in the state legislature, the first bill I ever filed was to end gerrymandering,
and they sent it to a committee that hasn't met in 20 years.
We can't let politicians draw their own districts because they screw the voters every single time,
no more gerrymandering across the entire country. Sure. Yeah. It's a huge issue, but how do we fix this cancer on political discourse?
How do you solve that?
Don't vote for anyone who isn't explicitly committed to independent redistricting.
Independent redistricting is how you solve gerrymandering.
If there is any elected official or a candidate who says,
well, I don't know if I'm forward, maybe maybe, maybe not, uh-uh. We should just have a
bright line. Jerrimanering is unethical. There is never a defense for
drawing districts to favor one party or the other. Don't vote for anyone who
would ever engage in that behavior. That's how we solve it.
Now, you're, you've been in Congress for about 11 months now, and you're planning on getting gerrymandered
out, and you're running for attorney general, attorneys general?
It's very awkward.
Why is that you?
Could you do an explainer on why it's attorneys general?
And short, Tick-Tock length, because it's easier to understand and also I think
I would get bored more for more than 30 seconds about?
It's a bad decision that someone made a long time ago.
Oh, okay.
You're welcome.
We don't have a shortage of those.
But even your new role that you're running for right now, would you be able to address
gerrymandering?
Absolutely. Look, the attorney general's job is what you're the the the the thia. thia. thia. th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. We's. We's thi. T's thi. We's thi. We's thi. We's thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So. So, th. So, th. So. So, th. So, th. So. So, th. So, th. So, thi. So. So, thi. So, thi. So, t t t t t t t t t ttti. ti. ti. ti. together. together. ttoday. ttoday. thaee. thae. thae Congress. It's not about the theatrics. It's not about the left or the right. It's just about doing what's right.
Standing up against political corruption, against business corruption, especially when consumers
are getting screwed and organized crime. We've got a huge fentanyl problem in North Carolina.
We got it across the entire country. The Attorney General gets to be directly involved in handling all of that. It's it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. to be to be to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, the the their thi. thi. theeeate. theate. the. theeeate. the. theate. theate. toe. to to to to to the.'s a really wonderful job. Wow.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
You seem like the perfect guy for the job, that's for sure.
Give it up for Representative Jackson.
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Hey, everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking
about the election. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls?
We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot
of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday?
Listen to the Weekly Show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.