The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Jordan Klepper: Good Guy with a Gun
Episode Date: June 5, 2021Jordan Klepper sets out to determine the likelihood of another gun owner stopping an active shooter in this investigative segment from December 2015. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.i...heartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Now if there's one thing I've learned living in America, there's only one way to stop
a bad guy with a gun.
And for that, Jordan Klepper filed this report.
It seems like every day there's a new mass shooting,
but turn on the TV and the solution is crystal clear.
We should arm the good guys.
Whether it's in Denny's or in a classroom.
The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun.
There's a good guy with a gun.
There's a good guy with a gun.
Sounds like a foolproof plan.
It's time to do my duty.
It's time to become Jordan Clepper, good guy with a gun.
The first thing any good guy with a gun needs is his concealed handgun license,
which in Obama's New York City is almost impossible to get.
Luckily, it's super easy in Florida.
You don't even have to f-e'li live there.
You can just mail in an application.
And once that gets approved, it instantly becomes valid in these 30 states.
So all I have to do to qualify for my handgun license is buy a stamp and pass any NRA
gun safety course.
Buckel up, Buttercup.
Daddy's Packing. I've come to the New Jersey Firearms Academy to train with Chief Instructor and Cowboy
Silo Green impersonator, Latif Dickerson.
Chief, what do we have here?
We have some handguns, the H&K Heckler and Coke model USP.
This gun here is a Glock Model 19.
Which one does this good guy get?
You get this one?
Seriously, this mustard-tuuuuuutoy? It's not a toy. That is a
plastic training gun and we're going to keep it pointing in the same direction as though it were
a real firearm. Oh, I'm gonna hit somebody with the bubbles that it blows out? It's called muzzle
discipline. I have indiscipline to where that muzzle is pointing at all the rules. to where that muthea. All I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'll th is th is th is their is th is th is th is thi. All thi. All thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, I'll thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th all the rules when it comes to firearms. Right, I get to.
I will.
But who knows, you know?
There's a wild car in there, anything can happen.
It can happen.
It won't happen here, but...
Okay.
But I'm just kind of one of those guys.
I'm a rule breaker.
the key points of firearm safety, like aiming.
Contact on the grip, wrap those around, then those,
and that's how you aim.
Suck on this metal.
And not like that.
What?
Keep the gun just like that.
Can't talk with a gun in your mouth.
No. What? Not turn the gun sideways. Just keep the gun vertical up and down.
Okay, if I hold it like this, can I still say,
suck on this piece?
No, good guys don't tell bad guys to suck on their piece before they shoot them.
What do they do?
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.
Then I was ambushed by a grueling written exam.
It was three entire pages, double-sided,
multiple choice.
Stop fiddling with it, you'll break it off.
What I'm not used to say.
The test contained brainbusters like, true or false, always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction.
That's actually a question.
It's pretty much a no-brainer. It's true. Right? It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now there's only one thing
standing between me, share, and saving American lives. Firing an actual for real-life
handgun. Turns out I'm a fucking natural. Boom.
All right.
Let's see how you did.
All right.
Let's try to hit him in the dick, but you didn't give me one the crotch for us.
We just want to keep our shots in the center of the target.
Yeah, but you could make the target bigger so the crotch is in the center.
The head, and then the shoulders and the arms, then it comes here, and then right right right right right right right right right, and the right, and the right, and the right, and the right, and the right, and the right, the right, the right, the right, the th, the th, th, th, here, and then right here is just total crotch. Right now, we're just trying to keep our shots in the center of the target.
So?
Okay.
How'd I do?
You're good to go, you pass.
And then I come back tomorrow and we continue the training? If you want to train some more, but thi.. But, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, th, tho, tho, tho, thus, thus, tho, tho, tho, tho, but tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the the, they....... the, the, the, the, th. tho, tho, tho, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. t me? There you go. Ha ha! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!
I'd done it. I'd gone from gun idiot to idiot with a gun.
Qualified to conceal a deadly weapon in most of the country,
probably in your home state. With all of eight hours of training, I was ready to handle every crisis situation.
You're not ready to handle every crisis situation. Who the f-bler? I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeeeeea theeea theea theea theea thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I every crisis situation. Who the fuck are you? I'm Pete Blair, I'm the director of the Alert program.
Alert! Or the advanced law enforcement rapid response training program has
trained over 80,000 cops to respond to active shooter events. So why was this dude
trying to jam up on my gun nuts? Because you've had one day of training. I see how it is. You want to take away anybody the their their their to to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. I I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their.s.s.s.s.s.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a had one day of training. I see how it is. You want to take away our guns?
I would want to take away anybody's gun.
Good.
But I would want to help train them.
Okay.
I'll say 30 states, the NRA and Uncle Sam all think that I'm good to go when
it comes to guns.
How many rounds did you shoot? 20, 50? Yeah, and I shot him at the paper. I would recommend more training. Come at me, bro.
This is your weapon. Again, I'm handing it to you as a hot weapon. Okay.
Alert agreed to test my Eastwood-like reflexes in the following simulation.
There's an active shooter in the building. With my Glock 17, modified to shoot paintball-like bullets,
I'm the good guy with a gun, who's gonna take them them them need to be ready. It could happen in any second. From this point on, just need
to be ready.
Stop! Stop!
Stop!
Stop!
thea's teau.
to be ready for it in real life.
I get a do-over. Let's do it over again.
So I kneel down and prepared to do battle to do battle to do battle. And got shot again. And again. And again.
And again.
They fired.
Why was that so hard?
That was nothing like call of duty.
I told you it's not that simple.
Yeah, but the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
That's science.
That's inaccurate.
About one out of every five actor-shooter events
get stopped by a potential victim at the scene,
and most, and most, and most, and most, and most, and most, and most, and most potential victim at the scene, and most of
those victims are unarmed.
Where'd you get those stats from some liberal think tank, like Hillary Pack?
No, it's from the FBI report that came out last year, a study of active shooter incidents
from 2000 to 2013.
Obama's FBI?
It's the FBI.
Yeah.
You believe that liberal clap trap?
I'm one of the co-a the coauthauthauthauthauthauthauthauthauthoa the co-a the co-a the co-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that liberal clap trap? I'm one of the co-authors of the report. I took a closer look at his report and it pretty much proved my good guy theory.
There are some cases where we have good guys with guns who are able to stop the shooter.
Most cases? Very few cases.
Half the cases. Not half. A quarter of the cases.
What's the percent? It's about 3 percent. But these guys said the the the stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
We must not have enough guns.
97% more people had guns 100% of the time there'd be 0% crime.
I'm not sure that's how math works.
Pete, it's simple. Gun goes bang, bad guy falls down. I get to have sex with share.
What more do I need to learn?
If you're going to have a gun, we recommend as much training as you can get.
Fine, I'll train some more.
Alert uses this abandoned elementary school to teach law enforcement to respond to active
shooter events.
Their on-site traders have over 40 years of combined experience in military and
law enforcement. Training with these guys, I'd finally get enough training. There's never enough training. You're never good
enough. It's not so much a destination, it's a journey. But that destination is
Heroville in the state of low-job land.
It's just, I mean like when you're a hero, cool stuff happens. Oh. I've got a
a condo there, it's a hand-job village, you guys should come by sometime. Absolutely right. I don't think that's gonna hot.
I'm getting lost in this metaphor. Yes, yes. After yet another four and a half more
hours of training, it was time to show them how it's done. The scenario is
as follows. I hear shots fired at an elementary school. Police are on the way, but with innocent innocent thoe thoe thoe thoe their their their their their thoe their their their thoeoeoeo tho their tho thio thio the the theo theo theo theo the thio theo theo theo the. I'm th. I'll th. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the the the the the theean. t t tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. tean. thean. theean. thee innocent civilians inside, I have to draw my concealed
handgun and respond. With a high-tech safety helmet to cover my face and a fucking towel to
protect my dick and balls, I'm ready to be a hero. There's the bad guy, mission accomplished.
You're bad, are you bad? Okay, so that wasn't the bad guy. So where are the bad guy? the authorities are here? that? thor th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that. that. that? that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to to to to to to to the to the that. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. that. that. that. to that. that, that, the the that. the the the the the the the thee. the the the the the thea. There they are. I'm being shot.
Oh, thank God. The authorities are here. I just hope they know I'm a good guy.
I just hope they know I'm a good guy. I had failed. Do you guys need help? I'm a good guy.
I was shot over 20 times by two different bad guys with guns. And then the police mistook me for a bad guy and shot me a bunch too. Also I may have shot an unarmed teen twice in the chest. It was
tough. Being a good guy with a gun was starting to feel way more complicated
than movies and video games and politicians make it seem. It's a complex
situation and you don't want to just give people guns and say you assume they know what they're going to do. It requires a lot their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their to their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the the the the the the the the t know what they're going to do. It requires a lot of training. Who's got time for that much training? People who are going to dedicate their lives to protecting others.
That's it.
Being a good guy with a gun just takes a lifetime commitment to training.
All we have to do is figure out who the good guys are.
Get millions of them to volunteer for 300 hours costing billions of dollars. in the right place at the right time, guns at the ready, and place this civilian army in our 4,700 colleges, 5,700 hospitals,
48,000 malls, hundreds of thousands of churches,
you know, America.
Just do that, or...
Or...
Can we just, I don't know, figure out a way to not put a gun in this asshole's hand?
It's not my, not my place for that, right?
I feel like that's an idea, just
try to get this asshole to not have a gun.
Well, I don't think that's going to happen in our lifetime.
Well, it was worth a shot.
At least I can conceal a handgun almost everywhere.
Sleep tight, America.
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When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
You're rolling?
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News.
Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17.