The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Last Week's Top Stories - Bleachgate, Elon Musk's Anti-Lockdown Rant & Food Supply Chain Threat
Episode Date: May 4, 2020President Trump suggests injected disinfectants could fight COVID-19, Elon Musk rails against stay-at-home policies, and the pandemic threatens America's food supply chain. Learn more about your ad-c...hoices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You're listening to Comedy Central.
When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting September 17th, wherever
you get your podcasts. From the beginning of this crisis, Donald Trump has been saying a lot of not-smart things.
He said the coronavirus will disappear like a miracle.
He said people had nothing to lose by experimenting with hydroxychloroquy.
And he even said that the virus can't see you if you don't move.
I think he was confusing it with Jurassic Park.
But a few days ago, as you've probably heard by now,
President Trump created shockwaves of stupidity
with his latest and probably greatest
unlicensed medical opinion yet.
President Trump offering new but unproven suggestions
of how to kill COVID-19 in patients,
using UV rays and injecting disinfectants such as bleach and alcohol.
Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it's ultraviolet or just very powerful
light, and I think you said that hasn't been checked, but you're going to test it.
And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do,
either through the skin or in some other way.
And I think you said you're going to test that too.
Sounds interesting.
And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute,
and is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning,
so that you're going to have to use medical doctors with,
but it sounds interesting to me.
This is maybe the first time in documented history that we've seen someone not thinking out
loud.
Injecting disinfectant into your body.
This is the problem when the dumbest person in the room thinks they're the smartest person.
You know, Trump is like Neville Longbottom, but with Hermione's confidence.
And I almost don't even blame Trump, because there's no way he even understands what bleach is.
Like, do you think Donald Trump has ever cleaned anything in his life?
Do you think he's ever actually used disinfectant?
Cleaning supplies might as well be magical pot on the carpet. Then some Mexican lady came in with some Clorox,
sprayed it on the carpet, said some spell in Spanish,
and then it was good.
Now, as crazy as the disinfectant line was,
I don't think we should be so quick to dismiss Trump's UV light idea.
Because Trump spends most of his time under UV lights,
and other than looking like Hickory smoked bacon, he's the healthiest man in time under UV lights.
And other than looking like Hickory Smoke Bacon, he's the healthiest man in the world.
I mean, he's even outlived Kim Jong-un, a man half his age.
Prove me wrong, Kim, if you're still alive, follow me back on Twitter.
Now, if you're some random guy on the internet with 12 followers, you can say shit like
this, and it really doesn't matter. You can say what if you want about coronavirus.
But Donald Trump is not just some random guy.
Donald Trump was the star of celebrity apprentice.
People listen to what he says.
So his suggestion about injecting people with a disinfectant has had a massive fallout.
The suggestion of ingesting disinfectants, something that would be dangerous and
even deadly has sparked a backlash. Lysol's parent company issued a statement saying, quote,, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, under, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi. thu, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thu, thu, thu, th. Donald, th. Donald, thu, th. Donald, th. Donald, th. Donald, th. Donald, th. Donald, th. Donald, thi. Donald, thi. Donald, thi. Donald, thi. Donald, thi. Donald, thi. thr. thr. thr-n. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. tru. truni and even deadly, has sparked a backlash.
Lysol's parent company issued a statement saying, quote, under no circumstances should our
disinfectant products be administered into the human body.
We have heard from emergency management in various states. They have had a remarkable
uptick in the number of calls, mostly thankfully from people who are just calling
to see whether it's true, whether they should consume or ingest disinfectants. We had hundreds of
calls in our in our hotline here in Maryland about people asking about
injecting or ingesting these these disinfectants which is you know hard to
imagine that people thought that that was serious but what people actually
were thinking about this was this something you could do to imagine that people thought that that was serious, but people actually were thinking about this.
Was this something you could do to protect yourself?
Yep, this is where we are now.
Authorities have to respond to the president's ideas
the same way they do to viral Tick-Tock challenges.
And honestly, I love that people were actually calling,
calling their local health departments to ask if they should try to to cure to cure to cure to cure to cure to cure to cure to cure to cure their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, calling their local health departments to ask if they
should try to cure themselves with disinfectants.
Because that means that even the people who are dumb enough to drink bleach are still smart
enough not to trust something Donald Trump said.
I mean I was going to do it, but now that he said it, I'm not so sure.
Now as always, when Trump says something insane about the coronavirus, it puts his team of
doctors in a tight spot, because they have to try and correct him without embarrassing
him, and no one tries harder than Dr. Berks.
You didn't believe the president was putting anybody in danger, did you?
No, and he gets new information. He likes to talk that... th. I.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. to to to to to to to to do to to do to do to th. to thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do thi. to to to thi. to to to to the. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. talk that through out loud and really have that dialogue.
And so that's what dialogue he was having.
I think he just saw the information at the time immediately before the press conference,
and he was still digesting that information.
Bravo, Dr. Berks.
Bravo. Oh, Dr. Burks, bravo. It is a great defense to not use the word dumb,
but just describe what being dumb is to describe Trump.
She's like, no, of course, the president is not a stupid man.
He's just a man who thinks that night happens when God turns the sun off.
Now, while Dr. Berks was trying to soften the blow, most of Trump's defenders,
they were doubling down. Oh, you liberals missed the point. Trump is thinking outside the box. This is actually a genius idea when you think about it.
But, this was priceless. After Trump's supporters spent the entire day defending him, the president went back on TV to make his fans look like idiots too.
Can you clarify your comments about injections of disinfectant or their...
No, I was asking a question sarcastically to reporters like you just to see what would happen.
Now, disinfectant for doing this, maybe on the hands would work.
And I was asking the question of the gentleman who was there yesterday, Bill.
But I was asking a sarcastic, a very sarcastic question to the reporters in the room about disinfectant
on the inside.
But it does kill it and it would kill it on the hands and that would make things much better.
That was done in the form of a sarcastic question to the reporters.
Okay, come on.
We all saw Trump's press up and we all
know it wasn't sarcasm. Sarkasm is when you make fun of something by saying the
opposite of what you mean. You can't just use that as an excuse for when you
messed up. My final answer is B.
I'm sorry that's wrong. I was just being sarcastic. I can't believe you thought that that was my final answer? Like of all time? Wow. I'm th. I I I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thus thus thus thus thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thi thi thi thi thi th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S th. S thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi the to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thought that that was my final answer? Like of all time?
Wow.
I'm going to go with C.
Actually sarcasm again?
Let's try A.
And if not, sarcasm means it's D.
And my favorite part of that excuse
was how Trump tried to have it both ways at the same time.
Because he says, he says his suggestion was sarcastic, but then he immediately goes on to explain why it also makes sense. Trump suggests injecting bleach the way other people try and float to threesome.
Obviously I'm joking, babe, I don't want to threesome with Johnny. I'm just, like, unless he's
entered. But like, no, it was just a joke. Come on. You're all I need. And Johnny. Just joking something new from Donald Trump. While the nation is tuning in in in in in in in in in in theee the the the. the. the the the. thii. the the the thi. the thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the their their thi. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the way, the way, the way, he's the way, he's the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. the way. He. He. He. He. He. He is just just just their. He is just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, thi. thi. tre. tre. tre. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. their. He's their Trump. While the nation is tuning into these briefings for accurate information, Trump is just testing
out his newest comedy material and pulling everyone's leg.
Supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether it's ultraviolet or just very
powerful light.
Then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do, either
through the skin or in some other way.
And then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute, and is there
a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning, because you see it gets on the lungs and it
does a tremendous number of the lungs so it'd be interesting to check that.
The one upside of this whole debacle is that Donald Trump has given
Americans the perfect excuse, the perfect excuse for electing him because when all of this is over
and other countries are asking Americans, how the hell did you elect Donald Trump? Americans can be like, no, dude, dude, we were
just being sarcastic. Apple, the world's biggest tech giant and smallest producer of
apples. Because this pandemic has forced people to wear masks all the time, a lot of
iPhone users have noticed that unlocking your phone with your face doesn't work anymore.
And I mean, it makes sense.
You have a mask on so the phone can't recognize you.
Hell, nobody can recognize you.
Except that guy at the bank who says he somehow recognized me, and then the jury bought
his story.
Three years later, here we are. Anyway, it's being reported that Apple is about to launch a new feature to fix this problem by letting people punch in a secret code that
unlocks the phone. Yeah. And I know, I know what the haters are going to say, oh, we had
this technology years ago. Yeah, exactly. This is the genius of Apple. They're trying to take us back in time. Because if we're back in time, there's no Corona.
And Cheryl hasn't broken up with me.
Please, Cheryl, you've got to take me back.
The woman in the background, I swear, I don't know who she was.
I think she was like a robber. The only reason she was naked is because she was probably stealing clothes. Please take me back, Cheryl. Like, I didn't, I didn't know.
In other news, we're going on six weeks of lockdown, and it's clearly starting to wear on some
people's nerves. People like Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and man who definitely has an escape
hatch. He's never been a fan of the shutdown in the first place, but last night, he pushed the button
for insane mode.
Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, is being criticized after he launched into a rant filled with expletives
on Tesla's earnings call.
The extension of the shelter place, or frankly, I would call it forcibly imprisoning people in their homes
against all their constitutional rights, my opinion, breaking people's freedoms
in ways that are horrible and wrong, and not by people came to America or both this country.
What the f-b-exa-exa.
If somebody wants to stay in their house, that's great. They should be allowed to stay in their
house and they should not be compelled to leave, but to say that they cannot leave their house and they will be arrested if they do. This is fascist.
Give people back their goddamn freedom.
Yes, Elon, finally.
Finally, someone has decided to call out this fascist American government that's asking
people to please stay in their houses to try and save their own lives.
I mean, you're not even allowed to go to the grocery store anymore. I mean, actually, you can't go to the grocery store, but I mean, you can't even go for a walk.
I mean, you can do that too, but what about the beach?
You're not allowed to go to the beach?
Except for all the states where you're allowed to go to the beach.
But you definitely can't go to go to Hn'n't that people end up buying one of his bulletproof trucks.
We need to rise up to fight the government from inside our cyber trucks, now available with
full autopilot.
You know, the weirdest part about all of this is that Elon Musk always says that we're
all living in a computer simulation, but now he's like, yo, yo, the universe might be fake, but my stock price is real. Let's take this shit seriously, people.
Speaking of people with no filter, President Trump, a lot of us have always wondered, for
a long time, if Trump actually pays attention to all the tweets that he gets.
And it turns out he does, bigly.
An engineer in California who tweeted the president was paid 69 million dollars for ventilators that never came. On March 27th, President Trump posted on Twitter to urge Ford and General Motors
to start making ventilators now. A man named Yaron Pines tweeted back,
we can supply ICU ventilators, have someone call me urgent.
And that's all it took. The guy had just 75 followers on Twitter and no apparent experience in manufacturing. But three days later, New York State entered into a $69 million contract with the man.
A New York state official said that they enter the contract at the direct recommendation of
the White House, coronavirus task force.
Now New York has terminated the deal and is trying to get its money back.
69 million. Guys, come on.
First of all, if someone tells you the price of anything is $69 million, it's a joke.
69 is pranking 101.
And second of all, nice.
But hold it, let's go back for a second and just, just help me figure this out.
Some random guy tweetedtweeted President Trump
asking him for a ventilator contract
and his wish was just granted?
Just like that?
He said, did I want this thing?
And then he got the thing?
I mean, let this be a warning.
The next time you tweets at the president,
telling him that you've got Hillary emails and D's nuts? Don't be shocked th up to collect. I brought a hammer, so let's smash these nuts
and see what's inside them.
When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968,
there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes.
It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at.
That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News.
Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts starting September 17. Last month, Congress passed the Paycheck Protection Program, which set aside $342 billion
to help small businesses through the pandemic shutdown.
Now, before most small businesses could get any help, that money disappeared, faster than
Rudy Giuliani in direct sunlight.
And because of this, Congress has had to come back with a second round of funding with
$310 additional billion.
But when it came time to hand it out yesterday, things got off to another rocky start.
This morning, millions of small businesses are still waiting for relief, as delays, technical
glitches and overwhelming demand caused the Small Business Administration's portal to crash within minutes of relaunching the new loan funding program.
The SBA revealing twice as many people tried to access the program on Monday than at
any time during the first round of loans.
Many lenders reported not being able to file applications for clients because the computer
system kept crashing.
God damn it seems like every time the computer system kept crashing. God damn it, man.
How come it seems like every time the government builds a website, it crashes immediately.
Like I've never had this problem with my website, pickles and socks.
Don't tell me it's because nobody wants to see photos of pickles wearing socks.
It's adorable. I mean, look at that.
He's not supposed to be wearing that sock,
because he's a pickle.
It's so funny.
Now, look, computer errors can be fixed.
They probably just need to turn it off
and turn it back on again.
That never works.
But there's a bigger problem with the PPP.
It turns out that one reason small businesses haven't been able to get their money is because all the big businesses have
been snapping it up. We've learned that in round one of the PPP a whopping
870 million went to publicly traded companies. At least 75 companies that
were helped are so big that they're publicly traded and some had market
values greater than a hundred million dollars. Some of the nation's largest restaurant chains are facing
backlash, Shake Shack returning 10 million dollars it received after public
outcry. The Los Angeles Lakers organization is the latest not so small business
to return a government loan. The team received more than four and a half
million dollars in the first round of loans. Lakers are one of the NBA's most profitable franchises received more than four and a half million dollars in the first round of loans.
Lakers are one of the NBA's most profitable franchises worth more than four billion dollars.
Yeah, it turns out the companies who are getting a lot of the small business loan money are small in the same way that Joe Exotic is chill.
I'll tell you about Carol Baskin.
And how come I can't say the end word.
Even the Los Angeles Lakers got some of that small business money.
And I don't care what anybody says.
The Lakers do not need $4 million.
All right?
The Knicks need $4 million to bribe their fans, to act like although what these big companies did was shitty, it wasn't illegal, right? They saw a chance, a chance to get money, and they took it,
which is what companies are always going to do. Companies going company, y'all. You
know how we all say that, no we don't. My question is, why didn't the government
come up with regulations to make sure that the money for small businesses? that the money for small businesses? It's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is, to to to to to to to to to th is, th is, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, which is thi, which is thi, which is what is what is what is what is what is what is what is, which is what is, which is, which is, which is, which is what is, which is thi, which is thi, which is th is is is th is th is is is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their is their is their is thi, their is their is their is their is their is their is their their their their to their their their to their is their to their is their, put down a bowl of food for a small dog, you
have to get the big dog out of the room. Everyone knows that, right? If you just ask the big dog
not to eat the food, the dog's going to be like, oh yeah, I'll think about it, but
I think better when I'm full. So let me just eat some of the banks. And then the banks did what the banks do, which is screw over the little guys.
Four major banks are already facing a lawsuit,
alleging they prioritized bigger customers
because those PPP loans yielded bigger fees for the banks.
The program allows banks to prioritize existing customers,
particularly those with large credit lines, over small businesses or new applicants. Nearly 8,500 of JPMorgan's private and
commercial bank customers who applied were assisted by what some called a
concierge banking service. If you have 25 million dollars and you go to a
large bank, the way that they're going to get your account is with white
glove service that your corner shop just is not going to have. And that means that you don't wait on hold, you don't go through a web portal that
doesn't work, you call someone up who picks up the phone and scoots you to the front of
the line. Yeah, you can't leave the loan decisions up to the banks. You can't let them take government's money and then decide who it goes to. Because. Because. their their. And their their. their. their their. their. their. their their their their. their their their their their to their. to get their to get their. to get their. their tho. thi. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoom. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You's is is is is is is is to go go go. I to go. I to go. to go. to go. to go. to, to, to, to, to to to the. to to to toe. to toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the and then decide who it goes to. Because unlike a government, a bank is a business.
It's always going to take care of its top customers first.
So big companies weren't waiting in line to get loans.
They had direct access to the cash.
It's the same way Ivanka has direct access to Trump while Eric has to call and set
up an appointment. By the way, Eric, they're always always, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're, they're they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're th. the, th. they're the, the, the, the, the, th. the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. theii. thei. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. They will always be busy. So, that's what went wrong with the first round of small business loans.
And hopefully, hopefully the Treasury Department's new rules for the second round of money will
ensure that the loans go to the companies that actually need it the most.
But there's another big aspect of the story that a lot of people are overlooking. Many small businesses in America are owned by women and black people.
And you know what, many black-owned and women-owned businesses don't have?
Pre-existing relationships with banks.
So if the banks didn't know you before coronavirus,
you're definitely not going to be on their radar now,
which is why experts fear that up to 90% of women and minority-owned businesses
could be shut out of the loan program.
Now, I don't know how you fix this program overnight, but if you're a woman or a minority
who owns a small business, I suggest you start practicing your jump shot because that
might be the only way you get some of this government cash.
Every single industry in the world has been affected in some way by COVID-19.
Retail stores have been shut down. Tourist sites have been closed.
Barbers are buying those cheerheads just to keep up their skills.
And one industry that needs to remain open in order for us to survive is the food industry.
But now the virus is coming for that too.
The food supply chain is breaking.
That's the warning in a full-page ad from Tyson Foods,
released in the New York Times.
It comes after one of the country's largest meat processors closed a massive pork processing plant in Iowa
because of a coronavirus outbreak.
A USA Today investigation found 150 of the nation's largest plants
are in counties where the infection rate is spiking, threatening not only workers but potentially
the food supply. This morning with beef increasingly scarce President Trump
promising to take action. Signing an executive order under the Defense
Production Act to ensure processing plants stay open and run at the maximum extent possible.
You know I'll say this about Trump, he is very clear about what his priorities are in life.
Because he was warned for months about the pandemic coming to America, and he did practically
nothing.
But you tell the man once that there could be a beef shortage, and he springs into action
like the world's hungriest superhero.
But that's Trump, man.
If there's one thing we know about him,
it's that he loves meat.
You know he must have been really disappointed
when he heard that Meatloaf was going to be on the apprentice,
and it turned out to be an actual man named Meat toaughnoaf. I sure is how we'll try. But yes, few places in America have seen a higher rate of coronavirus cases than meat processing plants.
And although there doesn't seem to be a danger to the food itself, in most of these facilities,
the workers are quite literally putting their lives on the line.
Processing plants can be a breeding ground for the virus because many workers spend their day side by side. You're not talking about 200 people, you're talking about several thousand people.
We are very close. We can't use a social distance at that place.
One employee concealing their identity for fear of retribution tells us plant managers
were asked why fewer employees were showing up.
Adding the virus was rarely mentioned, if at all.
People started being carried out of there, and so we were always asking our supervisors,
basically what is that's going on here. This notice for a $500 attendance bonus enticed employees
to keep working. The union representing workers says one month of requests for PPE
were basically ignored. Employees tell us workers were given hair nets to use as face masks.
A hairnet?
Come on people, that is some bullshit.
Workers were given hair nets to wear as face masks.
Hairnets can't stop the virus.
I don't even think hair nets can stop hair.
I've eaten school lunch.
And you know, it's really sad that these workers are being forced to keep the food chain going, but nobody's being forced to
protect them while they do it. They need equipment to keep safe while doing
their jobs. And if you eat meat, you especially should want these
workers to be treated right. Because without them, the only way you're
getting bacon is if you fight the pig yourself. We all know how that's going to end. So, troubles at meat processing plants is one
problem, but there's also another problem that's messing up the food supply
chain right now, and that's distribution. Because with everyone locked down and
eating at home, the food that used to go to restaurants and schools has now got
nowhere to go. Before the pandemic, by one one one one one one one one the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicicinea the only only only the only only only only only only only thia the thia the only thoeauia. thooma. thooma. the only only only only only only only only only only only the the the the the the the thiae. the thiae. they. they. they. thiauuuuuu. thia. thia. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toeau. toea. toeau. Iau. toeau. Iauia. toea Before the pandemic, by one estimate, 24 million cases of food were delivered every day
to restaurants, schools, and large venues in bulk, and to repackage it for sale in grocery
stores takes time and money.
With restaurants closed, demand for butter and cheese has dropped significantly.
Farmers who can no longer get their products to restaurants and other customers are discarding millions of pounds of fresh fruit and vegetables.
Bars and breweries tapping out, like Minnesota's Bauhaus brew labs, forced to dump 900 gallons
of perfectly fine brusky, down the drain as demand for draft beer dries up.
Damn!
They had to dump 900 gallons of craft beer down the drain.
Right now, all over America, fraternity house flags are flying at half-mast.
Although it's not bad news for everyone, I mean, down in the sewers, the hipster rats are having the time of their lives.
But these supply chain problems don't surprise me at all.
I mean, of course, people don't eat the same way at home
as they would in restaurants. Nobody at home is like, you know what I could do tonight honey?
I could have a seafood tower. Why don't you bring out one of those triple-decker trades
that we always use for the seafood. And this gap between what factories and
farmers are producing the food chain in the United States. No, it's happening all over the world. In fact, it's gotten so bad that one country is
calling on all of its citizens to help out in a special way.
Meanwhile, in Belgium, people are being asked to eat twice the amount of
French fries all in an effort to prevent food waste. According to
research, Belgians already typically eat fries at least once a week. But potato farmers say if everyone doubles the amount of consumption, it could prevent nearly
750,000 tons of surplus potatoes from going to waste.
Wow, Belgians are being asked to help eat 750,000 pounds of extra French fries.
And that seems like a challenge, but if they can borrow some weed from Amsterdam next
door, they can knock that out in like a day, tops.
I'm not going to lie.
I get that this is a problem, but personally, being asked to eat more French fries, that
would be my dream come true.
Well, I mean, to give you the full story, my dream is that I'm eating extra French fries because Jelo
can't finish hers because she ate too many appetizers during our weddings
cocktail hour and then she wants to save some room for cake but that's
basically the dream. It's close enough. But here's what I say. If Belgium can
solve its food chain problems by asking people just to eat more French fries,
then surely the United States of America can step up to.
America, we're going through difficult times, disease, lockdown.
They even delayed the new James Bond movie.
It's looking forward to that. But if there's one thing this crisis has presented to Americans,
it's a challenge that we're uniquely prepared
to face.
Food waste.
All over this great nation, food that was supposed to go to restaurants and school cafeterias
is being thrown away because we can't eat in such huge quantities anymore.
But we can't? The hell we can't.
This is the USA.
Man, we're the country that invented supersizing, hot dog eating contests and fighting to the
death over a fried chicken sandwich.
We've been training for this crisis our entire lives.
So America, I need you to join with me and stuff your faces like your lives and your country depends on it because it does.
UFA, UFA, UFN, UFN, UF, U,S.
U.S.U.S.
U.S.S.U.
Thank you so much for that, Roy.
I'm inspired and hungry.
Before we go, though, please remember that the COVID pandemic has devastated communities around the world, but the International Medical Corps is helping
these communities rebuild and recover. And if you are able to help and you would
like to help, please donate whatever you can. If you'd like to support the response,
specifically here at home in New York City, please donate to the NYC
Health Care Heroes, who are providing care packages
to our health care workers, hospitals and temporary medical facilities.
Until next week, stay safe out there, wash your hands and remember, be kind to your
bed bugs. Right now, they're the only friends you've got.
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and the Comedy Central
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for exclusive content and more. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.
When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at.
That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News,
listened to 60 Minutes a second look
on Apple podcasts starting September 17.