The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Nachos vs. Chili Cheese Fries | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson

Episode Date: April 9, 2023

“As someone who is a nacho connoisseur, the thing I love about nachos is the variety. The topping combinations are endless. ” - Dulcé Sloan “Just because chili and cheese are in the name, it do...esn't mean that's where you have to stop. Because don't forget what chili cheese fries lack in toppings, it makes up for in the seasoning. ” - Josh Johnson It’s nachos vs. chili cheese fries this week on Hold Up with Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and writer Josh Johnson. Hold Up  is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. What's up here's edition, listener? It's Josh Johnson, writer for the Daily Show. You're about to hear an episode of one of our original Daily Show podcast, Hold Up, hosted by me and daily show correspondent, Dulce Sloan. It's where we take our office banter into a weekly war of words about topics big and small. In this episode, we debate nachos versus chili cheese fries. Which one has more variety and which one of us considers themselves a nacho connoisseur? Tune in to find out and if you like the show, check out the holdup podcast wherever
Starting point is 00:00:33 you get your podcast. When I'm talking about my nachos, I'm talking about that good white casos, okay? Hey, why you laughing? Why you laugh? The good white case-ho. That good comp-ca-you said that like Fox News. Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha! Ha! Hey, everybody, welcome to Hold Up. This is the show that's a lot about a little, big opinions over small things, a lot of stress
Starting point is 00:01:13 over things that people don't really care about. I am one of your co-hosts. My name is Josh Johnson. I'm arrived for the Daily Show and I am joined by... DOSELAN! Brack! Brat! Today's episode is going to be one that I didn't even know that we disagreed on so heavily.
Starting point is 00:01:34 It was wild because we were trying to talk about something completely different. And yet, and it came up, and yet, we found out that once again, once again, Josh Joshua, Joshua Solomon Johnson. You can't just keep making up middle names like this. Why not? Because it just doesn't, it's not even who I am. What you mean?
Starting point is 00:01:55 You could be talking about a different person. Today's episode is going to be nachos versus chili cheese fries. Get into it! Look at him! Look at him! DAH! I just had a very strick, my last hour of life has been very stressful. Oh, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:02:16 That was just me. Thank you so much. So, tell me how you feel about nachos. Tell me why you chose nachos today. I chose nachos, because one why you chose nachos today. I chose nachos because one they motherfucking delicious. Okay all right. This is the thing I love about nachos. I like variety. Okay I like variety. I like that you can put... what? You're gonna say it twice and they act like it's too different they okay. All right. Cool. I like, cool, cool. I'm like. I'm like, I'm gonna. I'm the. I'm a. I'm a. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. they. they. the fucking. they. they. they. they. they're. they're fucking. they're fucking. they're fucking. they're fucking. they're fucking. they're. they're. they're. they're. they. they. they. they. they. they. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm fucking. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm that you can put out of what? You're gonna say it twice and then act like it's too different they okay
Starting point is 00:02:47 All right cool cool cool Hey man, I'm living my life trying to be a Christian and so I Love the fact that You can have all kinds of nachos because you know your movie theater nachos. They're the saltiest nachos. You ever eat in your life because yeah it's those yellow studio chip my studio stadium chips that are so salty you can feel the grains of salt yes yeah you can get them between your teeth truly you can just rub them and season other things there's that there's that there's that cheese sauce. Which...
Starting point is 00:03:26 Yeah, yeah, that, the movie one is nasty. It's wild. The movie one is unacceptable. And you know, it's crazy, my mom went, we got some movie thing, and it was like, oh it's Arizona nachos, and I was like, wait, I was in the dollar tree with her and I was like, why is Arizona T making nacho kids? I fucks, yeah, the, th, th, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, yeah, th, th, yeah, th, yeah, th, th, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, it, it, it, thi, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, i, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is like, is like, is like, is like, thi, is like, that's like, that's like, that, that's like, that, that, that's like, that, thi, is like, is like, is Arizona tea making nacho kids? I fucked with an Arizona okay yeah yeah sure sure a green tea Arizonis come on okay and then you get your little pickle jalapenos or whatever or or my favorite thing to do is when I go back to Atlanta just a place
Starting point is 00:04:01 called Willis that I go to with my mama and my brother and it has the whole like because see Chipotle that's what the the the the the the the the the the the that's like the that's like that's like the the the that's like that's like the the the the that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's like that's th. th. th. th. they. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I's. I's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is that I go to with my mama and my brother and it has the whole like because he's Chipotle that's why what Chipotle because like the secret is a little Chipotle somebody I just saw on Tick talk somebody just found out that they could make nachos at a at Chipotle it was like yeah he just asked him to replace the rice with chips and all the fucking nachos hm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the too too too too too too too. th is the the too. the too. the ttttttipo. tipo. tipo. ttipo. toe. toe. toe. toe. I toe. I toe. I, right? So, but I love nitros because of the variety, you know. Okay. First of all, if the case so, the cheese, also I think it's funny that we call the cheese sauce caeso when it's just cheese.
Starting point is 00:04:36 It's just, it's just Spanish for cheese, right? Yeah, I want to hear the rest of your thing. Because I was about to interrupt to interrupt to interrupt the interrupt the, when. It to interrupt, the, to interrupt, the, the, to interrupt, the, to interrupt, the, to, the, to, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, the. It's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. I, th. I, the, the, the, the, the the the the, the the the tops. I's, toe. I's, the tas. If. th. th. thi. the, first. the, first. the, the, the rest of your thing. I'm not going to mention the cheese yet. I want to hear your thing because I was about to interrupt. I'm trying to stop myself. No, no, no, interrupt. Go. Okay, the cheese, I'm going to try to be as objective as possible in this argument, because sometimes the cheese from the movie theater nachos is also the same type. cheese that ends up on chili cheese fries so I can't fully come down on you for the cheese on those nachos because I know
Starting point is 00:05:10 that it happens to me too. So I'm trying to I'm trying to show grace and trying to assume that you're talking about the best type of nachos and I'm talking about the best type of cheese fries and I'm talking about the the best to to to to the to the to to the to the to the the the to the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the to c. I th. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to be the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's ch. th. I's ch. I's c. I's c. I's the. I's the. I's the the. I's the. I'm the. I'm to to to te. I'm tre. I'm trea. I'm trea. I'm trea. I'm trea. I'm trea. I'm tea.ing about tachos. Yeah, the the nacho cheese that is at a baseball game is is actually so American because of the problems it gives you. All right. Yes. We're talking constipation. We're talking cardiovascular issues. All right. You can feel them when you're eating. You can feel yourself slowing down. You can feel your blood slow down. You can feel your blood slow down. And that is the wildest part. When I'm talking about my nachos, I'm talking about that good white casos, okay? Why you laughing? Why you laugh? The good white caseau.
Starting point is 00:06:12 That good Caucasian? You said that like Fox News. That good Christian white... White caseo. Yes. Prostistant caseo yes Protestant case that good white Protestant old honey that's the case I remember that's the case so yes that's the case I was telling you about where you have to have it with a margarita oh yeah yeah you that's what I'll tell you about because you need a margarita to bust up all that cheese, but you need to cheese to counteract the acidity of the margarita.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Yeah, yeah. Or you could leave your mouth alone. Like I'm just, I'm just saying it. It's like if you need this much counteracting. It's Wednesday night. What was that supposed to be doing? What are you acting? You're acting like Wednesday means you have to have. Of course I'm out with my girlfriends getting caso and margaritas after we just came from this fucking Mary Kay purse-leggin Tupperware bullshit thing yeah okay okay soe topah where
Starting point is 00:07:33 all right all right listen all of us got a SUV okay why who knows okay so nachos so nachos so nachos. So nachos. So nachos keep going The topings combinations are endless. Okay You could do the meats. You can do no meats. You can see what a guy I saw a guy do that made my vagina my vagina slam shut and he just got nachos We just he just wanted cheese and grilled chicken That this is this the type of thing that I've started to judge people on and I've talked about this on stage where it's like we have to quit waiting Until the serial killers kill to call them serial killers. Yes, all right? There are some things that people are gonna do that. It's so off and upsetting? It's so off the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the treea's treea's tree's they's they's they's theyrea they. they's they's they's they's they's. There are some things that people are going to do that it's so off and upsetting that you're like no, no, no, watch him. Okay. Right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Cheese pizza is kid food. Yeah. I don't give a fuck how many comments you put underneath this YouTube video. Guess what? I'm not going to read them. It's not my job. Also, grow the fuck up. Put something else on a pizza. I'm sorry. This is wild.
Starting point is 00:09:03 It's insane. There was a guy I went to I hop with Logan one time. We were just on the road doing a show. Yeah. And a guy, a table, a table away from us. Mm-hmm. Ordered his bacon. What? Extra moist. He said extra moist. What is that? I think he just wanted them to run it under the faucet, I guess. I have no idea what that means, but it was You told me I've heard it. Yeah, it was so upsetting that we were like, all right, so police? Like, as much as we call the cops are people mind their own business, that's something that was. Is he saying that he didn't want them? Is he saying that he didn't want them to get the oil off of it? I think that he wants bacon cooked as little as possible because he said extra.
Starting point is 00:09:58 This negig it just is enough. Extra moist is what he said. Which means to have that that too already means you've done that before. Wait, hold on. I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm to to to to to to to to to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to call to get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to said. Which means to have that order already means you've done that before. Wait, hold on, I'm trying to protect myself from this conversation. Because now I'm scared. Yeah, yeah. I'm worried about everybody involved. And I know it's not the same, I know it's not the same as the cheese and the chicken? It is. It is? It is?
Starting point is 00:10:24 It is not a is? It is? Okay, alright. It's not a serial killery, mm-hmm. But there's a level of juvenileosity. Here's the thing. Okay. If you're gonna if you're gonna cloak yourself to protect yourself, you've got to only use real words. Sustained. So, oh my god, this reminds me this guy used to work with. I can't remember which job it was. This niggis talking about some woman he thought he liked. I was like, well, he's like, yeah, you know, I really like to feminosity. And I was like, I don't want, I don't, I don't, I can't. Yep. No. No. No. No. th. th. th. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Bless. Yes. Yes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I this. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I'm. I. I. I can't. Yep. No, no. No. Yeah. No. Blessings to him.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Ugh. I said, feminity? He said, what's that? He was like, no, no, she had a lot of it. Yeah, she said, yeah, you know, she got that femininity. And I was like, I got to go, I said, can't I'm already here but I gotta go home. No, I'm with you. I'm with you. It is it is maddening. But I guarantee you he will pull. Oh, I think you already had a kid.
Starting point is 00:11:29 Uh, mm-hmm. Hey, man, everybody know dumb dudes got great dude. I don't know why they have to be dumb. Like, some people just have the penis. No, what I'm saying is, but're no like dumb dudes Uh-huh broke dudes Country-ass dudes Okay, so yeah if you a city motherfucker with some money You're a separate game up you read books Ha ha ha ha ha
Starting point is 00:11:53 Ha ha Ha ha I was sitting with one of my friends at the cellar the other day. We saw this, he was, there was this guy who was talking to, you know, some other comics or whatever. We didn't know who he was. And this is a male, this is a man, this is a black man, saw this other man from across the room and was like, yo, that dude looks dumb. Because when a man, thu thu, I was like the man the man thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu's thu. thu. thu. thu. this is like, I was like, and I was like, and I was like, and this is like, and this is like, and this is like, and this is like, and this is a this is a this is a man this is a man this is a man this is a man this is a man this is a man this is a man, and this is a man, and this is a man, and this is a man, and this is a man, this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. this is a man. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this is a male. this is a male. this is a male. this is a male. this is a male. this is a man. this is a man. who the fuck is this big, mothfucker? Right? Nice, big, strapping man. I was like, you look dumb. And I was like, ah, don't do that.
Starting point is 00:12:29 You sound like a hater. And I looked over and I was like, oh, this niggit does look dumb. And so I was like, no, so I went over and I's so dumb. He's one of those people where I saw every time he had a thought I saw it. You know the cartoon where you just see the little and just the wheel turning like just see like the animated little. Yeah. Yeah. I saw it when it turned. I saw it when it stopped. He had an idea a little, and then the work, hey, we're back on.
Starting point is 00:13:09 Every time he had an idea, I saw it. Every time. And I bet you what that man loved was chilly cheese fries. How dare you? How very dare me? I was truly trying to extend an olive branch and you burned it. You burned it in my gasoline. I pulled the olives off the branch and put them on my nachos. That's what I did. I took them olives, put them on my nachos because I will tell you this.
Starting point is 00:13:44 Nachos with caso are so much better than nachos with melted shredded cheese because Once the temp once that shredded cheese ain't hot no more. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yeah, and I just facpled my nachos to this plate. Sure. It's concrete. We could pave rolls with fucking melted cheese like it's it's? It's? You're? It's pieces right. Yeah, the? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's? It's? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I'm? I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. I. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. thos. thos. thos. to. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos. thos.'s concrete. We could pave rolls with fucking multi-jee. Like it's your, it's pieces, right? Yeah. So I also love the fact that you could put veggies on it or veggies on it. You can put all kinds of meats. You're at seafood nachos? I have had seafood nachos. Fucking amazing, right? Yeah, if you get, if you get the right shrimp, it's like really, really good. I guess my thing is, for chili cheese fries, what I'm making sure that you and the other listeners don't miss is that just because chili and cheese are in the name, it doesn't mean that's where you have to stop. I'm not saying that there are as many topings for chili cheese fries as are nachos, because I don't think that there are.
Starting point is 00:14:45 I'm just saying that people hear chili cheese fries and they could incorrectly or correctly assume that only chili and cheese will be on those fries. But I believe if you get the right fry, all right, if you get the right temperature and if you fry it to perfection, it is incredibly difficult for a nacho to beat.. to to the to to the to the to the to the to be. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the there. I there. I there. I there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there's there. I'm there. I'm just there's there's there's there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I there. I there. I I I there. I I I there. I I I there. I there. I there. I I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm there. I'm the the. I'm just just just just just just just the. I'm just just the. I'm just just just just the. I'm just thea. I'm just just there's the. I'm just just there's there's there. I'mperature and if you fry it to perfection, it is incredibly difficult for a nacho to beat a fry, okay? Because when you get chili and you get cheese and you get the right meat, whether it is beef or it is turkey or it is ground chicken, if that is your preference. Love ground chicken.
Starting point is 00:15:22 No matter what you do, and no matter how you brown it, when you throw it in the chili. Because don't the the the the the ch the ch the ch the ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch chich, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the chi, the chi, the chi, the chi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, thr.ea, ta, touchea, chitchea, chitchea, chitchea, chitchea, thr.a, thr.a, thr.ea, you brown it when you throw it in the chili the chili cheese lacks in topings it makes up for in the seasoning. All right. What kind of chili it was we talking about because this is the thing. Okay. We have to talk about when it comes to the chili cheese frot. Okay. I can tell you, I can ask you. Okay. Is the fry important or can you use any kind of fry? Now this this this... Oh, mm-hmm. There's when you want to talk about schools and you want to talk about thought, there are schools of thought. All the best. Okay.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Okay. All right. I did not see that fucking permit at all. You want to talk about thoughts? What are we talking about? Schools of Thoughts? Or, wow, that would be a good name for an album if you think about it. Schools of Thoughts, yeah. A waffle fry will actually get you...
Starting point is 00:16:36 A waffle fry, chili cheese fries? Yeah. We don't do it enough. Now do we not do it enough. We don't appreciate how much you catch. Because I will say this, when it comes to a chili cheese fry versus a nacho, the only way that the chili cheese fry can compete with the nacho in terms of how much you grab and get when you pull is if it's a waffle fry. Right, because you can put chili, we've all put chili and made nachos, we both put chili on tortilla chips
Starting point is 00:17:08 and been like, nachos beach, right? You've all seen the walking nachos, have you seen? Yo, I'm gonna tell you the wildest, I've been, I've been in love and eating nachos my whole life, right? I'm in love with the nacho one thing I could never get behind and it might sound crazy is when people use Doritos as the chips in the chip in the nachos only because like you remember when she when like the nacho cheese Doritos the season used to be heavy like not now where it's just a just a whisper just a afterthought. The nacho cheese, Doritos, the season used to be heavy.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Like not now where it's just a whisper, just the afterthought, just a shadow of flavor. But when them chips used to be orange, right? Ha ha ha ha ha! Er... Er... ... ... Where them chips was orange, okay?
Starting point is 00:18:06 When you was getting orange on your fingers like you would just eating a whole bag, Cheetos, right? Using a Dorito, I as a tortilla chips. Okay. In nachos. Okay. Totally destroys the whole fucking flavor of your nachos. It also lets me know that you are an agent of chaos. See? I was going to say something else, but that's a better way to put that you you you you you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you would just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just that you would just that you would just that you would just just that you that you would me know that you were an agent of chaos
Starting point is 00:18:25 See I was gonna say something else, but that's a better way to put that yeah Because there were there two people of my life who I saw do it and one of them is in jail and the other one might need to be in jail See see see? This is this is your moist bacon. Yeah, yeah, that's your moist bacon because a waffle could Go ahead. You know no sorry. It's just you know. You you. You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that, that's that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, I th. tho, I tho, I th. I tho, I th. I th. th. I th. I yeah. That's your moist bacon because a waffle could go ahead. You know no sorry sorry it's just you know that you're not actually about flavor when you do that you're just about doing stuff to do it. You're about eating. Yeah. Yeah. You're right eating and it just sounds you're not you're not you're not doing. I'm waiting for you. You're too nice to say it, but you want to say it's so bad.
Starting point is 00:19:08 I did. You're not gonna do it. It sounds poor. It sounds. You kept trying not to say it. Thank you so much. I didn't say it. I said it because I could see that you needed the release.
Starting point is 00:19:28 But you were like the way that you were like and a Dorito and a like the way you were listing it. I felt like a soda that had got put in a paint shaker. Now listen I know there's a lot of people that might have an issue with me say that things are poor. I'm also somebody who has mixed in college because I've had a lot of white friends. I've had Yeager mixed with Mountain Dew, okay? Yeah, yeah. I've slept in many a mobile home.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Wasn't mine. But I was friends with them. We all have a past. I really wonder why, because why did you pick chili cheese fries?? thia? thia thia thia thia thiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi We all have a past. I really wonder why? Because why'd you pick Chili cheese fries over the nacho? Do you not like, I mean, do you? I think that if you get it right, there's a higher pinnacle for a chili cheese nacho than even a nacho. All right? If we're talking a perfectly fried waffle fry and then chili and cheese and we're talking about cheese that is what kind of cheese? what kind kind of cheese? Ch cheese? Ch cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind cheese? What kind? Ch cheese? Ch cheese? Ch cheese? Ch cheese? Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch cheese? Chies? Chi? Chiz cheese? Chiz cheese? Chiz cheese? Ch. Chiz cheese? Che? Che? Che? Che? Che? Che? Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. Ch. What the cheese? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fry and then chili and cheese and we're talking about cheese that is What kind of cheese? What kind of cheese? What kind of cheese? What kind of cheese? Because for me, there's a few if you if you go about melting it right and to me the best chili cheese is gonna actually be in the same form as those stadium fries and those stadium nachos, but not the same type of cheese, so when I when I talked about? the the cheese? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cheese? What to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to ki? What ki, ki, what kind ki. What kind ki. What kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind cheese? What to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to te. the te. tea. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. ki. to stadium fries and those stadium nachos but not the same type of
Starting point is 00:20:46 cheese. So when I when I talk about melted cheese I don't just mean throwing a couple craft singles on throwing it in the microwave to me that is blasphemy. What I'm talking about is in a pot melting down making your own cheese sauce at home right melting it down and then pouring it over. Okay? Because to me now, even as it cools, because the other issue with some nachos like you like you mentioned before, with the cement and some chili cheese fries, is the quickness that you have to have to eat it. Yes, when that's cold, it's over. When it gets cold it's done. And so because there's a third element in there,
Starting point is 00:21:29 I recognize that a chili cheese fry is going to need more of your time and attention than a nacho, because chili cheese fry got to worry about the chili being cold. You got to worry about the cheese being cold. The fry being cold? Bro. Yeah, it's ready to fight. If I get served chili cheese fries, I'm not the type of person to like,
Starting point is 00:21:56 while out at a restaurant or anything. But if it comes and it is cold, I do get a little upset because I'm like, all right, clearly the chili and the cheese are too hot for me to send this back like it's cold. So I'm going to go ahead and fight through. But you know what you did to me. Also, I've had chili cheese fries. My mom made it for me one time and she didn't do it often, which I'm thankful for because it it actually can't be that healthy. But my mom made me chili cheese fries from scratch and that labor of love, I will never forget. Okay? Because she made the chili. She made the chili. And making the chili, making that's why I was saying before. Okay, we lose you on some topings when it comes to nachos
Starting point is 00:22:48 Nachos edge out on the topings. I'm objective enough to respect that but the seasoning Okay, the way that you can season chili to then put over the fries is it's tough to beat. I've had very dry nachos before and it just make me just so... It makes you go, it makes you live it, honestly. It makes you go, I'm a good person. What the fuck happened over here? And I think that the other reason that chili cheese fries for me edge out the no is because when you are eating them, right? And they've got it right. Whether it's a loved one that's made it for you or whether you're just at the right stadium,
Starting point is 00:23:38 they got it right, okay? I think that there's a bit more heft to the meal when it is a chili cheese fry than when it's a nacho because- Stop it right there. Yeah. I'm stopping right there. Okay. As someone who is a nacho conna sewer. Okay. Yeah. Nachos can be heavy because I used to work across the taco place across my grocery from
Starting point is 00:24:12 restaurant in LA that would go to to the point where them girls had my phone number and if they didn't see me for a while I was to say one girl I just had to stop uh once you found out I did Conan she was blowing me up all the time I was like bitch we didn't even we friends like this being weird and so they would do nachos where it was like it was terristo fucking plantains rice all this other shit and you know how much they like you because every time I would go to box kept getting heavier hmm yeah so it was like this one thing in nachos was like three meals at least. Okay okay and then one they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're th th the tho the tho the tho the they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're was like this one thing in nachos was like three meals at least Okay, okay, and then one day they may be like I came in there and they're like oh We're doing breakfast nachos, and I was like that sounds
Starting point is 00:24:51 Hmm, mm-hmm Fuck it run it. Let's see cuz I had I had a no, and it was and it was and it was it was as good as it was supposed to be But I do have a hard time Uh-huh Uh-huh. I have a hard time finding nachos up here. I can't say the chips and nachos Are just as important as? As the potatoes and chili trees fries because one I've had I've been eating nachos before and not only with chips salty but the chips very wide. Yes, yes. And so it was catching the corners on my mouth. Mm-hmm and cutting you with the salt and cut me with the salt. Yeah. Also you were going to like chilies and how thin their tortilla chips are snapping. Yeah snap and just salsa right what? Years ago I had to tell you about this? I did I did the their their their their their their their their their their their their their tell their tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tell tip. I did. I did. I tip. I tip. I did. I did. ch. I ch. I ch. I ch. I ch. I ch. I ch. I ch. I their chips. I their chips. I their chips. I their chips. I their chips. I their chips. I their chips. I their their their their their their their their ch. ch. ch. ch. I ch. I ch. I ch. I ch. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm te. I'm te. I'm. I'm. te. I'm. I'm. te. te. te. tip's. tip's. tip's. tip's about this? I did in stand-up. About the, the, I was on that date. This is like, I don't even think I lived in New York yet. I was in Chicago.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Tell people Josh. And I was just, I was trying, I had ordered guacamole and their idea guacamole. And their idea guacamole was just stabing an avocado twice. Yeah. Yeah.the thickest guacamole and the thinest chips I've ever, paper chips. And so every, I'm trying to talk to her about her life and interests and stuff, and I'm just snapping chips. Just chips snapping. And so finally, I put two hands on one chip to get more leverage. Because after the fifth one it's noticeable. Right. Because I'm just snapping them and then trying to move on like, oh, okay, that's interesting. And then just snapping more of them, right? Last one I put two in. Yeah. And I don't even dig that deep. I'm not trying to shovel the chip. I'm just trying to get something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something something that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that deep. I'm not trying to shovel the chip. I'm just trying to get something and bring something back for me. And on the last chip, two hands, I
Starting point is 00:26:52 stick it in and I just I just like a fulcrum just pop it back up and instead even staying on the chip the guck flies all over her like just flicks all over her and gets on her. And I was like, I'm fun. Like this shouldn't be happening to me. This isn't fair. I'm a good person. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah
Starting point is 00:27:29 Sidebar. How do you feel about the totito scoops? I don't feel like it's natural but I do feel like it's helpful depending on what the dip is. Yes, but we all know that you can't use them as nachos. No, you can't. You can. It feels like nacho cupcakes when you do that. Who told me they tried to use them as... I think my ex was telling me the story the story the story the story the story the story the story the story thia thia thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to thi. thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to that. Who told me they tried to use them as, I think my ex was telling me a story, those are all the chips that he had and he wanted nachos. You really have to go ahead and if you're gonna do that,
Starting point is 00:27:55 you have to do each individual and what? You have to pour a little bit of meat, a couple of onions, one little piece of jalapeno. I think that that's a great like snack for weddings or for like when people are walking around be like be like hold your own nacho you know I mean that to me makes sense but to just put a bag of them on a plate and then just start pouring cheese and you're asking for chaos. That's what he did that's what he, but we're not together now. Hey, yeah. You might as well be biting the side of a paper cup. It does not make sense. But like sideways, like not even at the time, but like that, that's what you meant, right? Like corn? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was my visual. I, um, and so my thing thing is when you know what to to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect to expect the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. tie. tie. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. the the the the the the the the my visual. That was my visual. And so my thing is, when you know what to expect and you're getting the same thing
Starting point is 00:28:47 when it comes to the levels of consistency when you're biting with chili cheese rice, because what happens to nachos sometimes is that the nachos that are in the very middle, at the very bottom sometimes get left completely dry. Dry. Above those get too wet, so so the sauggy. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th th th th th th th th that the nachos that are in the very middle, at the very bottom, sometimes get left completely dry. The ones above those get too wet so they're soggy, and the ones at the edges are perfect. See, and that's why people have to learn. If you're gonna do a big thing of nachos, right? Because I hate going to places where you just like,
Starting point is 00:29:21 you do a big thing of nacho's, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like since all the topings are on top it looks like a lot. Yeah, I went somewhere I think it was like Taco Mac in Atlanta way they used to do it is they would do a layer of chips Layer the chips layer of cheese layer of cheese? Yeah, their chips meat cheese, lettuce, sour cream salt and all of the rest of the tongues. Yes, yes. It's going on the berry top. Exactly. Exactly. And that is a professional. That's somebody that cares about people.
Starting point is 00:29:52 I think now it's time to kick it over to the listener. Let us know what you think. Tell us, all right. Are you team chili cheese fries or are you team nach?? Nacho. Nacho! Chilli-chose! Chili trees fries are superior. Ah! You're a liar for the devil! Listen! No matter how many calls you do to the nachos, it's not going to help.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Hey, listen, it's like, I think that the nacho is something that is easy accessible for the children You know for the kitties They could be a good after the because it's like chili cheese fries you got to get chili Okay, don't no No, no The first thing you said you love about nachos was the variety and now you're gonna be like with chili cheese, you got to get chili cheese but you don't always have chili? You don't the the the the you. You. You you. You you. You you. You to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is to to to to to to touch. touch. touch. touch. touch. touch. too touch. too to to to to to to to the the the the the love about nachos was the variety and now you're gonna be like with chili cheese right you gotta get chilly you gotta get cheese but you don't you don't always have chili right I'm I'm with you yes but notchos could just be cheese and chips or cheese and chips and salsa if you hate your life
Starting point is 00:30:57 yes but if you're seven if you're seven if you're seven unfortunately some people who are 37 also enjoy those as nachos and I never want those people to see my boobs. Before I get more upset, we're gonna kick it to the listeners because you know me and Josh we bring it to you every episode and I think one we were very cordial in this one too we know we're really supporting each other's points. Even though you came in and hot at the beginning and very aggressive, you're looking too, just strong and then you're like, yeah, tel cheese fries, yeah, we're gonna live forever.
Starting point is 00:31:35 Um, it's, uh, it's, uh, uh, ha ha ha ha. Listen man, I'm in my skim the dress. I'm fucking unstoppable. I've given give Kernashy so much of my money. I put one of them kids, at least one of them kids getting booked for me. I promise you. Somebody out of uniform out my black ass. I'm telling you right now. Chicago's pink carpet birthday.
Starting point is 00:31:57 I'm sure a couple of square feet are on your girl. If you are looking to catch up with me, you can find me at my other podcast to Josh Johnson's show. Episodes come out every Thursday or every year podcast. And if you are looking to catch up with Dulce, you can find her. In these streets! I'm kidding. Um, I'm really... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:16 Yeah. I'm also on the internet. I'm also on this podcast that you're currently listening to and I have a website and there's stuff on there and then I got shows covered up if you want to hear about Okay, y'all Y'all have a great rest of the week into the weekend. Nacho! Brach! Brack! Brack! Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast Universe by searching the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.