The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Neighboring in the Time of the Coronavirus | Danny Meyer
Episode Date: May 1, 2020Neighbors come up with novel ways to stay engaged with one another, Roy Wood Jr. and Michael Kosta cover sports news, and Trevor interviews renowned restaurateur Danny Meyer. Learn more about your ad...-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You're listening to Comedy Central.
When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes.
It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at, that's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News,
listen to 60 Minutes, a second look,
starting September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, everybody, what's going on?
Welcome to another episode of the Daily Social Distancing Show.
I'm Trevor, and today is day 45 of us staying inside to try and ghost Corona.
That's right, Corona, you don't know where we be.
We're at home, but you don't know where we be.
And here's your quarantine tip of the day.
If you're alone at home and you're getting bored, just pick a fight with yourself.
That way, you have makeup sex to look forward to. Anyway, on tonight's episode, we tho tho th dreams. Roywood Jr. and Michael Costa catch up on the weird state of sports.
And we chat to the founder of ShakeShack to find out why they took that small business money.
So let's get into it.
Welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show.
From Trevor's Couch in New York City to your couch somewhere in the world. This is the daily
social distancing show with Trevor Noah.
Ears Edition. Although things may seem dark right now, it's important to
remember that there's also light up ahead. And yes, that light may just be the
world on fire, but beyond that light is another light. And that second light is
what I like to call a ray of sunshine.
Let's kick it off with the heroes of the pandemic. Since Black Panther and Thor and all those
other losers only work in Avengers movies, we've come to realize that our true heroes are
the essential workers who are keeping people alive and fed.
And yes, they might not seem as cool as Batman and Spider-Man, but all of that is about to change.
Mattel is honoring essential workers on the front lines of the COVID-19 fight with a special edition line of action figures.
They are called hashtag thank you heroes.
The 16 collectible action figures include doctors, nurses, EMTs, and delivery drivers.
The toy company is also offering a special five-character little people set
that includes a grocery store worker.
Each action figure costs $20, $15 from each sale will be donated to the first
responder's first initiative.
Yes, yes, and yes.
This is such a powerful message to send to the kids.
You don't need to have superpowers to be a hero. You can be a doctor. You could be a delivery
person or you can be Hawkeye. Plus, this is going to make playtime much more interesting.
I'm Luke Skywalker and I'm going to save the galaxy.
Luke. Luke. I'm the delivery man. Please can you buzz me in, Luke?
By the way, they didn't have the toilet paper.
That's not true. That's impossible! And you know, I really think this is a great way
to show these kids who the real heroes are. But if they rarely want kids to
play with these toy heroes, toy makers need to remember you need villains too.
We need the senator who doesn't want to pay these workers a minimum wage.
Or we need the dude who bought up all the hand sanitizer and is reselling it for 10
times the normal price. Or we need that evil guy who only washes his hands for 10 seconds. You monster.
Here's another fun story, coming out of Spain.
Thanks to coronavirus, we now do everything at home.
We're working out at home. We're holding office meetings from home.
You're using the bathroom at home.
For years, we've just been going to Wendy's, right? It's just me.
And it turns out you can even have an affair at home.
It's the whoopssy that's making world headlines.
41-year-old Spanish news anchor Alfonso Merlose
was hosting a live show from his home when a naked woman
walked right behind him.
Oh, wait, but that's his wife, his girlfriend, right?
No, the tea is hot, honey.
You ready?
Viewers were quick to point out that, not only is not his girlfriend, it was a colleague.
Wait, what?
Yes.
I got damn.
God damn!
I need to start watching news from Spain.
I mean, here it's all boring stuff about trade wars and climate change.
Over there it's like a tele-novella.
Got naked women just. just walking in the background? I bet next week this guy gets amnesia and then is replaced by his long lost twin brother. Breaking news, I don't know who I am, but I know that I love
you. But yo, on the real though, this is such an amateur mistake. Everyone by now, everyone
should know that you've got to be aware of your background when you're working from home. The only thing people should see behind you is some books you've never read
and a couple of trophies you won for coming in last place in two marathons. And if you get
busted cheating like this on live TV, there is nothing you can't do. Your best option is
to channel Donald Trump and just try and blame the media. Baby, baby.
Baby, you know you can't trust the press? There was no naked woman in the background.
Read the transcript, baby.
Fake nudes.
Moving on.
With the 2020 summer games postponed and social distancing taking its to toll on sports,
the International Olympic Committee is urging member countries to consider e-sports as a real sport.
And you know what that means?
Somewhere in Russia, a team of scientists just developed thumb steroids.
Yeah, they are so strong.
Got to lift up on the rest of my hand.
And boy, how the tables have turned.
Because for years, for years, the Olympic Committee, they look down on us gamers.
We will not allow video games into the Olympics.
These are not real sports.
You think shooting cartoon characters is a real sport?
Call of Duty is not a sport.
It is just an immature way for kids to kill you.
Then you die, then you come back, they kill you again.
They're camping, clearly, and they're using like an aiming to be a aiming
bot or something. But now, e-sports could be on their way to becoming a real Olympic sports.
And man, I cannot wait to watch those medal ceremonies.
Please rise for our national anthem.
I'm sorry, but your medal is in another castle.
All right, that's it for the Ray of Sunshine.
But before we get into the headlines, Cinco de Mayo is next Tuesday.
But obviously with COVID-19 still out there, we're going to have to celebrate a little
bit differently this year.
And Modello beer wants to help us do that.
So this Tuesday, celebrate Cinco de Mayo at home, celebrate with friends and family,
online and raise a glass to all of the health care workers who are fighting for us. Now if you post your toast with the hashtag sink up, Modello will donate a dollar to first
responders first, up to $500,000.
First responders first is a fantastic charity devoted to supporting doctors, nurses, and
everyone else on the front lines.
And I wanted to thank Modello for stepping up to help and to give us all a good excuse to daydrink. Don't forget, hashtag sink up the
Cinco de Mayo to help support our first responders. All right, let's do it.
Let's jump straight into the headlines. Our first headline is about Apple, the
world's biggest tech giant and smallest producer of Apple. Because this pandemic has forced people to wear masks all the ti. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. th. th. th. th. th. thi. tooe, too, tho, too, too, too, to to to to to th thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, tho, the, the. the. the. the. thean thean the. the. thean thean thean thean thean to to thi. ththis pandemic has forced people to wear masks all the time,
a lot of iPhone users have noticed that unlocking your phone with your face
doesn't work anymore.
And I mean, it makes sense.
You have a mask on, so the phone can't recognize you.
Hell, nobody can recognize you.
Except that guy at the bank who says he somehow recognized me,
and then the jury bought his story. Three years later, here we are th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. A tho. A. A tho. A tho. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A tho. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th the jury bought his story. Three years later, here we are.
Anyway, it's being reported that Apple is about to launch a new feature to fix this problem
by letting people punch in a secret code that unlocks the phone.
Yeah.
And I know what the haters are going to say.
Oh, we had this technology years ago.
Yeah, exactly. This is the genius of Apple.
They're trying to take us back in time.
Because if we're back in time, there's no Corona.
And Cheryl hasn't broken up with me.
Please, Cheryl, you've got to take me back.
The woman in the background, I swear, I don't know who she was, I think she was like a robber. The only reason she was naked is because she was probably stealing clothes. Please take me back, Cheryl. Like, I didn't know.
In other news, we're going on six weeks of lockdown, and it's clearly starting to wear on
some people's nerves. People like Elon Musk, the founder of Tesla and man who definitely
has an escape hatch. He's never been a fan of the shutdown in the first place,
but last night, he pushed the button for insane mode.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk is being criticized
after he launched into a rant filled with expletives
on Tesla's earnings call.
The extension of the shelter place, or, frankly, I would call it forcibly imprisoning people
in their homes against all their constitutional rights, that my opinion, breaking people's
freedoms in ways that are horrible and wrong and not why people came to
America or both this country. What the fuck? Excuse me. If somebody
wants to stay in their house that's great. They should be allowed to stay in
the house and they should not be compelled to leave. But to say that they cannot leave their house and they will be arrested if they
do, this is fascist. Give people back their God name freedom.
Yes, Elon, finally! Finally, someone has decided to call out this fascist American government
that's asking people to please stay in their houses to try and save their own lives. I mean, you're not even allowed to go to the grocery store anymore.
I mean, actually you can't go to the grocery store,
but I mean, you can't even go for a walk.
I mean, you can do that too, but what about the beach?
You're not allowed to go to the beach. Except for all the state to too they's thiiiii's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to go to go to go to to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go to go. to to to to to to to the to the grocery to to to the grocery to to to to to to the grocery to to to to to to to to here. This guy's just trying to stir up civil unrest
so that people end up buying one of his bulletproof trucks.
We need to rise up to fight the government
from inside our cyber trucks,
now available with full autopilot.
You know, the weirdest part about all of this is that Elon Musk always says
that we're all living in a computer simulation. But now, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-a, thi-a, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the the thi, thi, the thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi., but now he's like, yo, yo, the universe might be fake, but my stock price is real.
Let's take this shit seriously, people.
Speaking of people with no filter, President Trump, a lot of us have always wondered for
a long time if Trump actually pays attention to all the tweets that he gets.
And it turns out he does, bigly. An engineer in California who tweeted the president was paid $69 million for ventilators
that never came.
On March 27th, President Trump posted on Twitter to urge Ford and General Motors to start
making ventilators now.
A man named Yaron Pines tweeted back, we can supply ICU ventilators, have someone
call me urgent.
And that's all it took. The guy had just 75 followers on Twitter
and no apparent experience in manufacturing.
But three days later, New York State entered
into a $69 million contract with the man.
A New York State official said that they enter the contract
at the direct recommendation of the White House,
coronavirus task force.
Now New York has terminated the deal and is trying to get its money back.
69 million guys, come on.
First of all, if someone tells you the price of anything is 69 million dollars, it's a joke.
69 is pranking 101. And second of all, nice.
But hold him, let's go back for a second and just, just, just help me figure this out.
Some random guy tweeted President Trump asking him for a ventilator contract
and his wish was just granted.
Just like that? He said, did I want this thing? And then he got the thing?
I mean, let this be a warning. The next time you tweet at the president, telling him that you've got Hillary's emails
in these nuts, don't be shocked if Trump shows up to collect.
I brought a hammer, so let's smash these nuts and see what's inside them.
And finally, for months now, it feels like the coronavirus has been dominating
our every waking moment.
And now, it turns out, it's dominating our sleeping moments too.
Now if you've been having some weird dreams lately, frankly you are not alone.
A researcher with Harvard Medical School is surveying people from around the world.
She says the most striking change from dreams during normal times is the added anxiety.
Some show literal fears over the coronavirus like being out in public and suddenly
realizing you don't have a mask. Others have shown metaphors to the pandemic.
The biggest single cluster is bug dreams. There are masses of squirming worms and
swarms of flying insects and cockroaches running at the dreamer.
Wow, thanks for all of those unnecessary details. I wasn't dreaming about bugs and worms before, but now I will.
You know, it's really wild how coronavirus is affecting every aspect of our lives. Like,
our old nightmares were about being at work in a meeting with no pants, and now that's just work.
But I was kind of relieved to read this story. Yeah, because I thought I was the only one
whose dreams have been getting weird because of Corona.
Because when I sleep, my nightmares are totally not normal.
Here, I'll show you.
There's so many of them.
Oh, so many.
I'm so excited to be socially active again.
Welcome, everybody, welcome.
Did you learn the words?
Imagine all the people.
Ooh, I can't wait to get back to sleep.
All right, that's it for the headlines.
When we come back, we'll catch up on our big story,
how coronavirus is changing your neighbors.
Stick around. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
You're rolling? But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple podcasts, starting
September 17th.
Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show.
You know, usually when we talk about coronavirus, we focus on the lives lost, the economy
and jobs.
But the truth is, this pandemic is changing our world in a million different ways.
And one of those ways is how we interact with our neighbors.
And that's exactly what we're going to explore in our new segment, neighboring in the
time of Corona.
Let's talk about neighbors.
They're the people who live in an apartment just like yours, only everything's backwards.
And since the coronavirus locked us all down, we've gotten so desperate for human interaction
that we've actually started turning to the people who live next door.
And the results, well, they've actually been inspiring.
Two young girls in Italy put their creative minds and talent to work. They took to the rooftop of their respective respective their their their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their respective their their their their their their Italy put their creative minds and talent to work.
They took to the rooftop of their respective buildings to play tennis.
A guy in Brazil captured video of some neighbors playing the 90s game Street Fighter 2 projected onto the building.
A DJ in Argentina is bringing the club to his balcony.
He sets up outside letting his neighbors enjoy from their own balconies.
The DJ spins for about the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their enjoy from their own balconies. The DJ spins for about an hour, thing them just enough time to mentally escape and have
a bit of fun.
Oh my.
Oh yeah, I love this.
People are like, hey, let's go to the club.
It's popping to night.
So lots of people right now. that that thoo. I love this. People are like, hey, let's go to the club. Hey, I'm at the club.
It's popping tonight.
So lots of people right now are interacting with their neighbors
like they've never done before.
But thanks to coronavirus,
we're learning that neighbors don't just have to be friends.
They can also be our friends with benefits.
Jeremy Cohen was sitting at home alone when he looked out of his window and saw his next door neighbor dancing.
He had never met her before but it was love at first sight.
So he went above and beyond, pulled out his drone and flew it over to her to ask her out
on a date.
Mikhele Dalpao's first set eyes on Paola Anie from his balcony.
Mikhele managed to track Paola down on Instagram and struck up a conversation. The couple hasn't stopped talking since.
Now they spend their days dreaming
about what they'll do when they finally meet.
I kiss her for one hour.
I kiss you for two hour.
Oh, stop it you too. Get a room.
But don't, social distancing.
You know, it's amazing how this pandemic has warped our
perspective, because if you think about it, before coronavirus, if a guy was
staring at his neighbor through binoculars and then tracking her with a
drone, it would not be romantic. It would be the first half hour of a
dateline episode. But I guess this is kind of sweet. You know, the only big
problem with dating your neighbor is that neither of them can ghost each other. I know you are home. I can see you
Daniela answer the phone. Now don't get me wrong.
Corona virus isn't only bringing neighbors together. For some neighbors this
pandemic has made them go to war. A snitch Neighbors taddle on people not following shutdown orders.
A man says his neighbors chop down a tree and use that tree to block his road to try to force
him into quarantine.
Social distance shaming has gotten ugly.
This is the next door website created to make neighbors more neighborly.
But check out these recent posts, you're a moron. Shut up, yuppie. So this is my life.
I just listen to people fucking fuck all night.
That's cool.
You know, I'll never understand why people get so angry
when they hear their neighbors having sex.
If you want your neighbors to stop having sex, don't get mad.
Get involved. That's what I do.
Whenever my neighbors get too loud,
I just press up against the wall and I'm like,
and me, and me!
It works every time.
But no matter how much tension arises between neighbors,
there's one thing you can always count on,
to bring people together to weather a storm.
Happy hour. Now, neighbors in this one called the sack call it trash talk.
They started to meet to have drinks on Tuesday when they bring out their trash cans for pickup.
Some neighbors decided to follow the mantra that sharing is caring.
Every night at 7 o'clock, neighbors in this apartment share a drink.
One of the residents leans out the window
to pour some wine from his bottle down to neighbors below.
Yep, leave it to alcohol to bind people together.
I also love that they were having wine while leaning on trash cans,
because it combines the classiest drink with the least classy activity next to it.
Next, they'll be like, more cavia served on a limp biscuit CD.. So. So. So. So, the th. So, the the their their their their their thi.. thi. their thi. their their thi. thi. their thi. the least classy activity next to it. Next they'll be like more
caviar served on a limp biscuit CD. So look before the coronavirus a lot of us
just thought of our neighbors as anonymous weirdos who cooked smelly meals and
needed to turn down their music. But hopefully this pandemic will help us
realize that these are real people man. These are people with names. That's not your neighbor. That's Gary. And after all of this coronavirus is over,
I just hope that we'll be able to go across the hall and say,
turn down the goddamn music! Gary?
When we come back, Roywood Jr. and Michael Costa catch us up on the Corona World of Sports. So stick around. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968,
there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
You're rolling?
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News, listen to 60 Minutes, a second look, starting
September 17th, wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back to the Daily Social
Distancing Show. You know, even though the coronavirus has shut down most sports,
there's still sports news out there, which
means it's time to go to Roywood Jr. and Michael Costa for another edition of
I apologize for talking while you were talking.
Yeah, what's up sports fans? I'm Roywood junior. He's Michael Costa. I don't know about you, but I have been missing
sports so much, man.
I know, same here, Roy. I'm so desperate that I've been betting on all the old ESPN games
that they've been airing.
I'm sorry, you what? What did you just say? You know, and I'm down $5,000, but I'm going to make it back tonight because I'm watching last year's Super Bowl and I, and I, and I, and I'm the th.. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, Roya, I'm tha. tha. tha. toa. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha, I'm tha, I'm tha, Super Bowl and I've got a feeling the 49ers are going to win big.
The Kansas City Cheats were, you know, never mind, that's going to end bad.
But I will tell you what I have been watching on ESPN, this Michael Jordan ten-part
documentary, The Last Dance, detailing his last year with the Chicago Bulls,
quality. Well, yeah, you and everyone else, Roy, I mean, this documentary has everything, drama, greatness, shorts so
short that they leave nothing to the imagination. Those shorts were so short, I could see who
had a vasectomy. And watching all of that old NBA footage with this documentary, Costa, it's really
made me appreciate how fast the fashion trends changed. The NBA in just a few short
years went from really short shorts to Jordan's enormous
baggy suits.
It was like MC Hammer had a formal wear line.
Anyway, let's talk current sports.
Now, I don't know what you've been going through Kouster, but all the leagues are on hiatus.
And honestly, I've been going through baseball withdraws.
I have a fever of 104.
I have a lot of chills.
I've been shaking at night, a little bit of diarrhea, classic signs of baseball withdrawal.
I think maybe you should get that checked out,
but Roy, you'd be happy to know that they are bringing baseball back
in Asia with a few tweets.
If you're wondering what Major League Baseball will look like
when it comes back,
pay attention to South Korea.
The Korean Baseball Association put on an exhibition game announcing the start of the new season will happen on May 5th. Games will be played without fans in
the stands in the beginning. Some other rules players can't shake hands or
give high-fives and this may be a tough one. There's no spitting allowed.
And in other parts of the world, baseball is back, but with a bizarre twist
in Taiwan, cardboard cutouts and mannequins sit in the stands instead of fans.
You know, these mannequins remind me of myself when I'm watching baseball, emotionless,
bored, no nipples. My doctors are stumped, right?
Oh, come on, man, don't be a hater. You've got to have something in the stands.
Just make sure those mannequins aren't imported from Philadelphia, because if they are, they're still going to be th throwing th throwing th throwing throw throw throw throw throw tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their tho tho their tho tho tho tho tho. tho. tho. tho-a. tho-a. thu. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to tooom. too-a. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I I I th. th. to, to to to to to to to to to to be to to be t. tthae. thaea. thaea. thaea. thaea. thaea. to to to to to to to thaea. thaea. thaea. thae they're still going to be throwing batteries at you. You know, I just think these new rules in South Korea are too strict.
No shaking hands, no high-fives, no spitting.
I mean, what's even the point?
Look, you have to change with the times.
Whatever it takes to bring baseball back, I'm all for it.
In fact, I'd go a step in their their their their their their their their their their theiratorade just throw chlorocks on each other's head. Ah, my eyes are burnt but my whites have never been whiter.
You know what, let's talk about football, Roy, because not only is Tom Brady going to be
a Tampa Bay Buccaneer this upcoming season, but he's also going to be reunited with an old friend.
After one year away from the game, former New England Patriot Rob Grunkowski is coming back to play for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Once again joining forces with his former teammate, newly traded quarterback Tom Brady.
It doesn't matter brains and no brains. This could be a powerful duo. You just got to hope
that the season doesn't get delayed too long. Tom Brady doesn't have a lot of time left.
I mean the man it's already 68 years old. You better watch out for that corona th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to to to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod. today, the today, today, te. te. te. te. today. today, today, today, tod demographic. I will say this man. It's going to be weird seeing two long-time Patriots
donning a buccaneers uniforms. My eyes aren't going to know what's going on. I hear you. It's
going to be like if they made the Pope the new KFC Colonel. I'm happy for them but it's going to take some getting used to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the the the the to be to be to be the to be to be the to be the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be to be to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be the to be to be the to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. toda. today. today. today. today. to to to to to to to the. to the. the. to. Yeah, I'd probably still eat there. All right, sports fans, that's it for now, but we'll be back to cover the next big game on the schedule, which is, let me see,
the Kent County, Michigan Crossword Competition. God damn. I'll tell you what, Roy, I don't
know what that is, but I'm putting two grand on 14 down. Here we go. You have a problem. That do you, Trevor. Thank you so much for that,
guys. When we come back, my guest will be world-famous restaurante Maya. We're going to be
talking about the restaurant business and why Shake Shack, one of his companies, took
that money. Stick around. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all about to change.
Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible.
I'm Seth Done of CBS News, listened to 60 Minutes, a second look on Apple Podcasts starting
September 17.
Welcome back to the Daily Social Distancing Show.
Earlier today, I got the chance to speak to Danny Meyer, CEO of the Union Square
Hospitality Group and founder of ShakeShack.
We talked about how the restaurant industry
is dealing with the coronavirus shutdown
and the controversy over that small business loan
that ShakeShack gave back.
Danny Meyer, welcome to the Daily Social Distancing Show.
It's good to be distant from you.
Yeah, we have to figure out new language for how we meet and interact with people.
First of all, let's talk about what's going on in the world of restaurants right now.
You have been in the restaurant business for many decades.
You are somebody who started some of the most iconic chains, including Shake Shack,
which means that your companies are responsible for thousands of employees.
What is the state of the restaurant business right now in America? It's bleak right now and my heart goes out to I believe there's something like
10 million unemployed restaurant workers in the country right now. My heart also
goes out to all the people we do business with. So think about the farmers,
the growers, the fishermen, the people who do our flowers, the people who do our linen. Nobody's got a job right now. And we're just waiting to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the heart the heart the heart the heart to the heart to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart the heart tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the growers, the fishermen, the people who do our flowers, the people who do our linen.
Nobody's got a job right now.
And we're just waiting till it feels safe
to bring our teams back to work.
And one of the things, you know,
your group was responsible for early on
was reacting to COVID-19,
even before it was mandatory to do so.
There were locations where people were told to stay home.
This was before people had to do it.
Why were you doing that before anyone was told to do it?
Was there information that your company had
that we didn't know about, or was it just precaution?
We were watching the news and reading and just kind of tuning out
politicians and tuning in the scientists early on. And you're right, we had a couple of scares.
One was at our restaurant in New York called the Modern, and one was at Union Square Cafe in New York City.
They both turned out to be scarce, but when you close the restaurant because you send home a cook
who said that they had a flu and you said that they had a flu and you said, well,
maybe it's the COVID. And then they can't get a test,
and you end up throwing out food and closing for two days.
And then you keep reading articles, you say,
we just have to get ahead of this thing
because it's only gonna keep happening.
And it was frightening, it was frightening our staff.
If you were a guest in one of those restaurants when we closed it, and we came up to you and we to you and we to you and we to you, and we to you, and we th, and we th, and we th, and we th, and we th and we th and we th and we th and th and thus, and we thus, and thi, and thi, and we thi, and we thi, and thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and the, and thi, and the, and the, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, to thi, to to thi, thi, to to to to thi, to thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, to thi couldn't say someone has COVID because we didn't know you were afraid and we just said enough is enough.
This game is about survival.
It's first about human survival and of course that is what has created economic survival as
the next recourse.
There is a question that is going to be lingering for a long time and that is 10 million people or
so work in restaurants in this country.
Those people can't go to work, and the big question is when will they be able to go back to work?
Because restaurants seem like, you know, just like we have with comedy shows, some of the spaces
that may be able to open the latest and even then won't even be able to open at full capacity. Like what does that mean that we that we that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. th spaces that may be able to open the latest and even then won't even be able to open at full capacity.
Like what does that mean for the industry?
Can you run a restaurant at 25% the way governors are saying
restaurants should be run?
No, no, as a matter of fact,
I've been doing this for over 30 years
and I don't think I've ever figured out
how to run a profitable restaurant under 80% capacity. And so. And the to. And so. And to, and to, and to be, the to be, the to be, to be, the to be, the toe, the toe, toe, the toe, the toe, the the toe, the toe, toe, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thrown, thrown, toean, toean, tooan, thrown, thi., thi. thrown, thi. thi while we are learning by the day,
the kind of safety protocols it would take to open your restaurant,
it won't look like the restaurant you knew and missed.
It won't smell or sound or feel like the restaurant you knew or missed.
And the restaurant won't be able to survive that way.
On the economic side, I would be remiss if I didn't talk to you about a story that really
was sparked by ShakeShack, and that was the PPP money for which the government has set
aside for small businesses.
Now, this story was really interesting because, you know, we heard that Congress had passed
this bill. They were going to be giving $300-odd billion to small businesses around America to help them keep running. Then, and I th th th th th think th think th think th think, and I th think, and I think, and I think, and I think, and I think, and I think, and I think, and I think, and I think, think, think, think, thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiak thi, thike, thike, thike, thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, they were going to be giving 300 odd billion dollars to small businesses around America to help them keep running. Then, and I think ShakeShack
was the first time we saw it in the news, we heard ShakeShack was giving
back $10 million and we found out that small or the smallest businesses hadn't
received loans and then it became a snowball. We started hearing that, you know companies had taken the money, the bigger companies had
the money, but small businesses didn't.
There are a few questions I'll ask you about this.
Number one, why did ShakeShack even ask for this money in the first place?
Because most people would say, Shakeshack isn't a small business.
Shake check did the responsible thing on behalf of its employees
to apply for the loan. The way the law was written, if you had any fewer than 500 employees per business per
restaurant, ShakeShack has about 48 employees for a restaurant, you are eligible.
The banks made the loans, Shake Shack did the right thing.
However, the very day after Shake Shack received the loans, the news came out that the government
had severely underfunded the payroll protection program.
There was a justifiable outcry of many, many small businesses who had not been able to access
it, either because the government had run out of money, or perhaps they didn't have the banking
relationships that a business like Shake Shack did. And so Shake Shack then, with that information, did the right thing and responded and returned, and the the the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and their, their, their, their, their, theiruueauiueauea, theiruad under under under their their their their their their their their their theirned, theirnened, theirunnenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenenened.ea, theirea, theirea, theirea, theirea, theirea, theirea, theirea, theirea, theirea, theirea, their, their, thu.ea, thu.ea,ea,ea.eauu.eau.eau.eau.eau.eau.eau.eau.ea.ea.ea,ea, the banking relationships that a business like Shakechack did. And so Shake then with that information
did the right thing and responded and returned the loan.
Interestingly, since that point,
about $2 billion in loans have been returned.
So, you know, it was, it's like so many aspects of this virus.
There is no roadmap, there's no crystal ball,
and you just have to keep using your compass with the information you thiiiiii information information information information information information information information information information information thi thi. thi. thi thi thi. thi. thi this virus. There is no roadmap, there's no crystal ball, and you just
have to keep using your compass with the information you have at that time.
So then how do you respond to the critics of ShakeShack who say, but why did
you apply in the first place? I mean if a company can give back 10 million,
then surely it doesn't need the 10 million in the first place?
Well, interestingly the way I would respond was when you're running a business, your primary
responsibility should be to your employees.
And when you apply for that loan, right in the face of the bottom dropping out of sales
across an entire country, I would argue that Shake Shack's employees are no more or less valuable
than any employees.
And that's where our heart was, and that's why we applied. But I also am very, very aware that the minute we learned that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that employees. And that's where our heart was, and that's why we applied.
But I also am very, very aware that the minute we learned
that in some respects, unbeknownst to us,
because there was no fine print on this thing that said,
by the way, line up today,
or you're not gonna have something to get it,
once we learned that, and sure sure there was a lot of outcry and I would be too.
Then Shake Shaq did the right thing at that moment and returned the loan. Now I
do want to say something that the payroll protection plan, even leaving
aside what I just said, is a deeply flawed program for restaurants. So it's been largely,
it's been largely analyzed by people who say,
should it be for small business or medium business or large business?
And what I would say is maybe, but maybe an even better way to look at it is by industry.
So take the restaurant industry, for example, by applying one set of forgiveness date to all businesses in the country,
which is eight weeks after you receive the loan. You have almost made this loan owner even more onerous for to businesses in the country, which is eight weeks after you receive the loan.
You have almost made this loan owner even more onerous for my industry. I think about small restaurants across the country who got the loan and who now have to have to
rehire their employees by June 30th or they're on the hook for a lot of money.
Our industry will not be able to be back in business and have rehired people by June 30th or they're on the hook for a lot of money. Our industry will not be able to be back in business and have rehired people by June 30th.
So this program, if it's going to work, certainly for the restaurant industry,
which is such a big part of the national economic ecosystem, I really think that that
forgiveness day needs to be extended for all restaurants to at least six months after
government's mandate that you can be back in business, not some arbitrary date that might
work for an office but doesn't work for a place of gathering.
It's a dilemma and you have to think of it as a business owner and then as a human
being as well.
What's interesting about the dilemma you're in though, is it doesn't seem like there's
an end in sight.
So what, like, what is your best case scenario and what is your worst case scenario right
now?
Where do restaurants stand?
Because everyone eats at them, you know, whether you're eating at a takeout place
or at a fancy restaurant, people want to eat out, people order food, not
everybody can and does cook.
So what do you think the future holds as it stands?
I'd say the best case scenario is that sooner than later,
our industry as a whole can have access to testing
so that employees can safely come to work.
Once we know that's the case, then I think that, like so many other industries, this isn't gonna be like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like to be like the like the like to be like the like the like the like to be like the like the like the case, then I think that like so many other industries,
this isn't going to be like turning on the light switch
where all of a sudden,
voila, there's the restaurant you knew and loved.
So we need revenue.
We don't have any revenue right now,
but as soon as we start to one that I think everyone's waiting for
are two things.
A, that there is some type of drug that mitigates the virus if you have it.
We're starting to hear some positive noise about that right now.
But then, of course, to encourage people to come back to restaurants, there's going to need
to be a vaccine. And I think all of us are praying for that.
I would say the vaccine for this virus is the equivalent now of what metal detectors
were before people started to feel safe getting on airplanes.
The difference is we had that technology back in 9-7.
We just had to deploy it, but we don't have the technology of
having a virus detector right now. Before I let you go, I want to talk to you
about a new job that you've taken on, which is probably one of the most
important. Governor Cuomo has asked you to be part of his reopening committee.
He's assembled a group of people from different walks of life. You are one of them. What advice are you giving the governor?
How are you basing your advice?
Are you using science?
Are you using medical advice?
Are you thinking from a business perspective?
What are you saying to the governor about when the right time to open New York will
be?
Well, I've been asked to be on the committee, but I have not yet been asked for my advice. The one thing that I am doing is asking advice
from people in our industry because I don't have all the answers.
I don't think any of us does.
But if I can be a coalescing voice for people,
whether you're from a bakery or a diner
or a fancy restaurant or a bistro or a chain, I don't really care.
I want to get voices together because the state of New York, whether whether whether whether whether whether whether whether whether whether you you you you you you the city the city the city the city the city the city the city the city to the city to to to to to the city to to to the city to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to bea, to be the to bea, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, th. th. th. the. the. thean. toean. toean. today. today. today. today. toea. toea. toea. toea. toeananananan. toeananananan I want to get voices together because the state of New York,
whether you're talking about, you know, the city of Manhattan or all the way up to Buffalo,
depends upon restaurants. It depends upon them economically and also emotionally.
Well, Danny Meyer, thank you so much for joining us on the daily social distancing show.
I wish you the best of luck. Thank you, Trevor. That's our show for tonight. Before we go, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, though, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thin, the, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too, too, the for tonight. Before we go, though, please
remember that the COVID pandemic has devastated communities around the world. But the International
Medical Corps is helping these communities rebuild and recover. And if you are able to help,
and you would like to help, please donate whatever you can. If you'd like to support
the response specifically here at home in New York City, please donate to the NYC health care heroes who are providing care packages to our health care workers,
hospitals and temporary medical facilities.
Until next week, stay safe out there, wash your hands, and remember, be kind to your bed bugs.
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This has been a Comedy Central podcast.
When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it.
This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television.
Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives.
But that's all about to change. Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's
what's incredible. I'm Seth Done of CBS News. Listen to 60 Minutes a second look on
Apple podcasts starting September 17.