The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Nosy vs. Noisy Neighbors | Hold Up with Dulcé Sloan & Josh Johnson
Episode Date: June 3, 2023Which is worse: nosy neighbors, or annoyingly loud neighbors? Daily Show correspondent Dulcé Sloan and Daily Show writer Josh Johnson discuss which neighbors they’d rather have, if there’s a bene...fit to having extra-nosy neighbors, their favorite arguments they’ve heard through paper-thin apartment walls, and why they’d prefer neither kind of neighbor. Original Air Date: July 14, 2022. Hold Up is a podcast from The Daily Show. Listen to new episodes every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts, or watch at YouTube.com/TheDaily Show See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience.
But not with Zip Recruiter.
Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast.
And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology.
Sip Recruiters' smart technology identifies to the talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people
for it, and you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message
to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner.
Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter find what you're looking for,
the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.
Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip.
Again, that's zip recruiter.com. Zip recruiter, the smartest way to hire.
You're listening to Comedy Central. Welcome to Hold Up. It's the show where two best friends, one being correspondent Dolce Sloan of the Daily
Show and then me, Josh Johnson, I'm a writer for the Daily Show.
We have arguments, but they're not just any old arguments.
These aren't things that, you know, you're going to see in the news, you're going to see
in the mainstream media.
These are things from the streets, all right?
We're the vocal point from the people talking, what they're thinking, and we hashed
it out here.
We come to a conclusion.
We see who's right and who's more right, you know. It's usually me. It's usually me. That's not true, but yeah, yeah. What we're
discussing today on the podcast, we're not talking about, you know, the war,
we're not talking about the rising housing prices. We're talking about loud neighbors versus nosy neighbors.
This is where I'm at. This is where I personally land on
the side of wanting nosy neighbors as opposed to loud neighbors. Hmm. Okay. I feel
like you've mentioned I feel like in the past that you'd rather loud neighbors than
nosy neighbors. Well this is the thing.
Nosey neighbor, loud
neighbors, and I'm not a cop caller, you know what I mean? I'm not a cop
caller, I don't play calling the cops. But I think with loud neighbors there is a, like,
if it gets to a certain point, you can like tell the building. Again, I'm not a snitch either, but if you're here acting a real donkey, I'm gonna say something, right. And, the, the, the, the, the, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thtell the building again I'm not a snitch either but if you are acting a real donkey I'm gonna say something right so like with super loud
neighbors there's always like a course of action that you can take to at least
get them to chill the hell out because the thing is it's like if you have
loud neighbors it's not just you saying something like things can be done
actions can be taken, people can get kicked out.
With nosy neighbors, it's someone always popping their head out of a door whenever they hear
another door open.
It's somebody standing by talking to the mailman for too long, or hey, I saw you got
a package or did it and I'm like, bro, first of all, get the fuck up on my business. First and foremost, this is the person who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's who's fuck up about my business first and foremost this is the person who's looking at who's
coming in and out of your house right yeah and I have a like a lot of male
friends because I'm a female comic so most of my friends like most of my
friends like most of my friends like most of my friends throwns in a
so if I have like if you come over and hang out and then Ben comes over and hangs out in the same week,
what the hell is this neighbor gonna think?
You see what I'm saying?
It's like, wow, well one came over, then the other one came over, now they're both over?
Oh goodness, what kind of life is you?
And I'm like, bitch, first of all, get some business. So what I'm hearing is that what you don't like about the nosy nosiness the nosy nosenessnessnessnessnessnessnessness that what you you that you that you that that you that thino, that that thin nosy that that that that that th like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th like that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th th th th th th th th th th th like th like th like th like th like th like thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiness outside of just the surface level, uncomfortableness is that
nosy people are usually just pretty lonely. It's just a loneliness manifesting as nosiness.
No, because you could be nosy and have, you know, a full family in the house.
Okay. Nose don't mean lonely, nosy just means...
Nose means like, like, it's,
you don't have no business of your own.
Yeah, yeah.
Like you mind and mind because you ain't got
no business to mind of your own.
So I'm not gonna lie.
I personally feel like nosiness rather than loud,
like, you know, nosy versus noisy.
I'm gonna go with nosy every time because I'm a pretty boring dude.
So then they're not gonna get anything.
They're not gonna, I'm gonna bore the hell out of a nosy person.
Nosey isn't coming for me.
Oh, nosy, but the thing is,
nosy doesn't care. They care eventually. No, nosy just wants to know. It's like, thia. thia. thia. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they're not, they're, they're, they're, they're, they's. they's. they's. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. they. they. they. they're, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, they're not, I'm not, I'm No, Nozie just wants to know. It's like, okay, you have a dog, right?
Yeah, yeah.
So now every time they see they're gonna be pressed,
well, what's he doing with this dog?
Well, you know, they haven't walked him in a while.
Well, you know, his girlfriend's out of town.
I hope they have everything, like, it's even thou. never leave your house in receiving no packages for a nosy person to not be involved at all.
Plus, they live in an apartment building, live in a neighborhood, right?
So they're looking for anything, any piece of information is information that they want to,
because when they see, because also nosy people have a te is, because they're
want to know what the tea is.
So they're going to ask, oh, well, what do you do?
So they're just building a case.
So then it's like, oh, have you taken the dog?
Well, oh, I see y'all got a new dog,
or y'all been getting a lot of packages,
like what's going on? It no pets, and you don't engage
with the nosy person.
Okay, so on a scale of one to ten, at this moment in time in the conversation, how would
you say you rank your feeling of wanting a loud neighbor versus a nosy neighbor?
Is it like seven, eight?
They're both that I want.
I want neither neighbor.
I want neither person.
If you had to pick though.
If you had to pick, well, the thing about a loud neighbor
is how are they loud?
That's the thing.
I'm talking loud as a structure of being in life.
So we're talking about loud hookups, loud music,
maybe they practice drums and they're not very good.
We're talking about all the loud.
Oh, nosy every time.
Because the people, wow.
Wow, every time.
Because it's like, the people, it's like somebody down the hall, they have a dog and every time they leave, I guess when they don't talk tie the dog up,
the dog barks by the front door and I'm just like, first of all, put your dog away.
I know you have multiple bedrooms in your apartment.
Like I know you do.
You have multiple bedrooms in your apartment, you have a balcony, like there's other things that can happen with this dog that doesn't include that dog barking for an hour's by the front........... the front. the front. the front.. the front. the front. the front. the front. the front.. I. I. I. I. I the front. I the front the front the front the front door. I the front door. I the front door. I the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. I their. their. They their. They their. They their. They their. They their. They their. They. They. They. They their. They. They their. They their. They're. They're, their their their their th. They're th. They're th. They're th. They're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thes that can happen with this dog that doesn't include that dog barking for
an hours by the front door disrupting the other people on the floor like do
something with your dog but since I'm not a snitch and it's not that loud I don't say
anything because at the end of the day the dog doesn't know that it's
being a nuisance the dog knows just being a dog. No I get what you mean. I get what you're saying. I get I I th th th th th th th th th th th the th the th the the th the th the th the th the th th the th the th th th the the th th th th th th th th th th the thi the the thi the tho- tho- tho- their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I theat theat theat theat thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. I th. I th. I the day, the dog doesn't know that it's being a nuisance. The dog knows, it's just being a dog.
No, I get what you mean.
I get what you're saying.
I did not expect, I thought you would dig your heels way harder than you actually did.
Now that we're really on the same side, because I'm at about a seven where I'd rather
nosy versus noisy, just because I will say a nosy neighbor might just save your life
you know well let's say I've fallen I'm old I fell
Nosey neighbor is gonna be like I haven't seen them in a little while let me call somebody
loud neighbor won't even notice a loud neighbor will be like man nobody's called the cops all that's in a while
Thank God um yeah because I have my other building that I lived in
someone did pass away.
Oh, no.
The craziest thing about that is what I was telling my mom about it.
Something fell off my wall.
And I was like, oh, we're not doing this and here.
It was the craziest thing when I went in my apartment one day, and I saw like, you know,
just like those regular like big house flies. Yeah. I was, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thank. thank. thank, thank, thank, thank, thank, that that, than that, that, that, that, th. Thank, th. Thank, that, th. Thank, that, that, that, that, that, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, than. Thank, than, than, than, than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. those regular like big house flies? Yeah.
I was like,
fuck did these flies?
What's happening?
I was like, I saw like one or two and I was like,
did I leave a window open or whatever?
And then I pulled the curtain back
and there were 40 fucking flies
trying to get out of the window.
And what was crazy, your girl upstairs,
so you know Beth that works at the office?
The way that they found out that something was wrong
was there's another girl that she's friends with on the floor
was just looking out of her window of her apartment
and she saw a bunch of flies on the window of that apartment
and called the window of that apartment and called me and called the super and the super
was too afraid to go inside and then the wife went inside. I just feel like
your building needed some nosier people. Oh that that's that's what I'm
hearing right now. Well that's what the that's how that girl figured it out
because she was just looking at her window she's like hey because he was a very quiet man he kept to himself but at one point she was like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I was they. I was the the the they. I was they. I was they. I was the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tie. tief. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the are there all these flies on this one window Beth was telling me there was like a smell in
her apartment and she did know what it was and then one day we both come home from
work and I'm just like why is an ambulance here I left and came back they were
there for fucking hours.
Wild.
Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience.
But not with Zip Recruiter.
Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast.
And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruter.com.
SIP Recruiters smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly.
Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing
you qualified people for it.
And you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message to personally
reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're
looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter
get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address,
zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip that's zip recruiter.com slash zip.
Zip recruder, the smartest way to hire.
What's the loudest neighbor you've ever had?
Mm-hmm.
Do you ever, even if this was a hotel,
because you know, being on the road, you have to travel and stuff?
It's just, it's always sex or an argument either I love a good argument that's
when I hope my neighbors will be loud because maybe I'm not nosy enough to
be nosy yeah but I'm nosy enough to be messy so then when somebody is near me
and it's as very loud oh oh that's amazing that's
I haven't I've never really heard I've never lived anywhere where I could
hear a really good argument.
I've rarely hear arguments.
I hear arguments on the street, but I'm like, those don't count, but I'm like, I've never
had it where it was like, oh, I'm worried about this person.
Come to Chicago.
Chicago has some thin walls. All right, I once heard the full-on argument top to bottom and then the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, and the makeup, the makeup, and the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, and the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, the makeup, tham, tha-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-s-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-Ia-sha-sha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, Ia-s, Ia-s, Ia-s, Ia-s, Ia-s, Ia-s, Ia-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa- tha- tha- tha- thaugha- tha- tha- thaugha- tha- tha- tha- tha-a- tha- thin walls, all right, I once heard the full-on argument top to bottom and then the makeup
sex. And the, honestly, the makeup sex was worse to hear in the argument because my man had no rhythm.
Oh no. We're talking about plop, plop, plop. Like just, I was like, what are you doing in there?
You need help. It might have been what the argument, what was the argument about?
The argument, I think, okay, I think it was about some petty cash.
I think it was like, they had spent some money that was like communal.
This is our like piggy bank money, and then one of them spent it, but then it was like the whole point was to spend it. I honestly don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the argument thi, the argument thi, thi, thi, the argument thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the argument th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi, I was thi, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was, thin, I was, thin, thin, that, thin, I was, thin, thoooooooooooooooooooo. I then it was like the whole point was to spend it. I honestly don't know who I sided with in the argument, but it got petty real
fast. It got like, well, you know, because you let your dad live with us for so
long, now we are on our last. It was like, okay, oh no.
Uh-oh. What I love about hearing an argument through a wall is that you have to you have to choose your side you have to choose who you're like all right I think I think
this is the person that I'm into then you also have to choose as the
development happens what you feel like is the best is the best argument yeah
it's like the best course of action for the side that you've picked. So one time I was just chilling, right? And there was this guy that was yelling at his roommate.
And the roommate was like, hey, no, it's not my turn, whatever. It's like, of course it's your tur. It's always your tur because you never do it. And they were arguing about the dishes. All right. But then as I I I I I I I I I the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's their. It's their was. It's. It's. It's. It's their was. It's their was. It's their was. It's just. It's just. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the th. It's And they were arguing about the dishes, all right? But then as I learned more about this roommate situation,
it was just funny because the one that always does the dishes
apparently wasn't doing anything else.
And so it was like, all right, but I vacuum up some dishes.
And it was, all right, well vacuum up some dishes because you never do the dishes.
And it was, it got, it got to the point where it stopped being about the dishes like, you know,
every roommate situation is lightly, it's like married, it's like diet marriage, you know?
Because you're not even involved, but you're stuck together for the term of this lease.
Right. And I don't know, I've just watched,
I've watched and heard a lot of great, great arguments
through a wall.
Like it actually is one of those things
where when you're broke and you're living like that,
it's one of life's few pleasures.
Well, you're like, hey, this is a bad apartment.
I'm not living well right now.
This is a bad apartment. I'm not living well right now. This is a bad situation. But you know what's brightening my day? These loud-ass neighbors. Sometimes it was happening while
I was trying to get sleep, so I still go nosy over loud every time. But every once while you would just hear,
like, what's the best way to put it? It's like, for me it's just funny when a man's voice cracks.
All right?
Oh yeah.
It's one of those things where it's like, it's like a fully grown man.
Yeah, he had that base.
And he might even be right.
That's the worst part.
You might even be right in all of your anger, and your assumptions and everything
is going on.
You fully correct.
But now that your voice cracked, you have lost credibility. Yeah. It's like, it's, and you can feel it happened. So there was one time I was laying,
and this is why I was on air mattress. I was not, I was not having a their mattress, you know?
I've been on an air mattress before, my first, uh, when I first moved to New York, when I first got my first apartment in New York, I had an air mattress. That's because I didn't have, I said I moved to New York with like three
suitcases, I didn't have any furniture.
And I had one of those good like double-decker like thick, expensive air mattresses.
Like you could put two people, you could have sex on that air mattress.
Like it was a high quality. Yeah, no, I'm with. It. It. It. It. It just. It. It just. It just. It just. It just. It just. It just. It just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. I had. I had. I had. I had. And I had. And I had. And I had. And I had. And I was. And I was. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I had. And I had. And I had. And I had. And I had. And I had th. And I had th. And I had th. And I had th. And I had th. th. th. th. th. And I had th. I had th. And I had th. And I had th. And I had th. And I had. So I already have to basically put myself in a slight coma to get to sleep, right?
And then through the walls, I just feel like, uh-uh, it's not going down like that.
Naw, naw, nah, nah, nah, just a bunch of gnaws, which is also how you can tell someone in argument can't think of the next thing.
Yeah. They just remember the baseline is no. My position is no.
Right.
So I'm gonna say no until I think of another point.
But no, no, no, no, y'all, y'all wrong for that.
Y'all wrong for that.
And then I hear the other voice.
Okay, that means that he's usually in the wrong. Like if I hear a man saying, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no wrong. You know. Whatever's happening, he is wrong.
I love a good, I'm not going out like that.
Because it's such a dramatic sentence.
Yes, I'm not going out like that.
I'm like, this isn't, no one's coming for your train.
Right.
It's not the end of training day.
This is not the end of the climactic scene of a movie. This is not a drug deal that could go wrong in any minute.
You're just arguing about,
you probably got caught cheating
or you didn't do something you were supposed to do.
Like the whole, nah, nah, nah, oh, oh,
so that's how you gonna do me.
It's not going down like that, oh, oh, oh, so what you're trying to say? What I said, so what you, you, what you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th... Yeah, that, you're probably, you're probably, you're probably, you're probably, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, you, you, you, that, that, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, you're probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's probably that's not that's probably that's not that's not that's not that, that, that, that, you're trying to say? What I said, ding dong. You're fucking wrong, bro.
I'm not having a-
I think a lot of yours start with O-O.
I feel like you're, most of what you over here is,
oh-oh-oh-oh-
Oh, oh, oh, like if I hear an argument Atlanta,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Yes, that's how we're going to do you, bro. Like it's if I
hear certain sentences, when I hear an argument, especially if a man is in an
argument with whoever, if I hear, wow, so that's how you're gonna treat a black man, you are
dead fucking wrong. You were dead, fucking, I don't care what happened.. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's how you're gonna treat a black man? You were dead fucking wrong. You were dead fucking, I don't care what happened. He wasn't supposed to take out
the trash or he had a baby that his girl didn't know about. I'm telling you the
nigga is wrong. He is dead ass wrong. Oh, or wow. A good long wow will do it.
Because in this situation the guy was like, no, no, no, no.
And then I heard some other murmuring,
because the other person wasn't being as loud.
I also think he was positioned too close to the wall.
And out of nowhere, my man is like, who are you talking to?
And it was, it was like, you could tell the guy's so upset
that at the who, he lost the base.
And he couldn't find it again.
Like, like the base was avoiding him until he got to the two,
and the two was too much.
The two was like, two.
Well, who are you talking to? One. One, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one to to, one, one to, one to, one to, one to, one to, one to, one to, one to, one to, are you talking to? One is one of my favorite phrases in blackdom, right?
Who you talking to means I know you're not talking to me, basically.
I love it when I see black woman doing it, they go, who are you talking to?
As it's a legitimate question.
Well, like you're talking to you, there no way and my favorite is who are you talk and then the look?
Uh, I love the look. I was just not to say the look around is a is a
mhm. The look around I've done it. I've done it. I'm sorry, who? Who were you talking to? I'm legit. It's like you've been talking, it's a legitimate question.
Because there's no fucking way that this human being is talking, I've said it, I know you're
not, I know you're not talking to me.
I know you're not talking to me.
Who else is he?
Who are you talking to?
Clearly, I've made the mistake of standing in between you and whoever you're trying to disrespect right now.
Full taxi driver.
Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience.
But not with Zip Recruiter.
Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast.
And right now you can
try it for free at Zip Recruiter.com. Zip Recruiters smart technology starts showing you
qualified people for it. And you can use Zip Recruiters' smart technology Pre-recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner.
Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle
in the haystack.
Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the
first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, zip recruiter.com slash zip. Again, that's zip recruiter.com slash zip.ziprecruiter, the smartest way to hire.
I want to have another quick check in because things took a turn early in the episode.
Mm-hmm.
Where I'm realizing now that even though we started out in the position of noisy versus nosy, you've quickly come over to my side of
nosy over noisy and I just want to see if you still feel that way at this point in the episode.
To be fair, I hate them both. But if I had to make this devil's choice,
it was nosy all along. It was not because it was like, well, loud, only because once I got the parameters of what the loud was,
then I can't be on board. I can't be on board at all.
Because now that I know that this person's going to be making every noise humanly possible.
There has to be effort being put into this amount of noise.
Like you can't cook this loudly, you can't talk this loudly.
Everything you do, like, that's cartoon level.
That's cartoon level.
You're walking loud, you're talking loud, you're everything.
This is, you're being a fucking menace as of that point.
You're just doing it for the sake of being disruptive.
No one exists at a volume that everyone can hear at all times.
That's not even how humans work.
Like, that's insane.
I think that there are people who are unintentionally loud neighbors because I've lived in places where it felt like the roof was
going to cave in because I heard every footstep. My upstairs neighbors used to like
vacuum loudly every Friday which was confusing because we had hardwood floors.
So I was like maybe they have rugs but if there were rugs it would soak up to sound. It would soak up to sound. to sound the sound so you are th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th I I I th th I th I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi th th th th th th I've I've I've I've I've I've lived I've lived I've lived I've lived I've lived I've lived I've lived I've lived I've lived I've lived I've the places I've the places I've the places I've the the th I I've th I I've th I I've th I've th I've th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi the the the the the the the the thi the thi thi theeee thi the thi thi thi the thi thi the the the the rugs, but if there were rugs, it would soak up the sound.
It would soak up to sound.
So you are loudly vacuuming.
And it was like-
Just vacuuming like every Friday, every Friday, like, midday of Friday, which was fine except
that I would record like the cartoon that I do Great North.
We were recording on Friday's. So depending on what time they vacuumed, I'm like, what, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they're, they're, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they, they, they, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the like, the like, they, they, they, they, they, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, they're like, so, so, so, they're like, so, so, so, so, they, the do Great North, we were recording on Fridays.
So depending on what time they vacuumed, I'm like, what, they're like, oh, we're hearing something, they have my fucking upstairs neighbor, is vacuuming a hardwood floor.
They don't own a broom, all right? This vacuum has been the family for a very long time.
This is a Dyson family. No, Dyson, this was a Hoover. This is a original.
With the bag in the back? Yes, this was the, you remember these being the loudest things?
Like it's like, I understand the animals were afraid of these, but like human children are also afraid of these.
the loud-ass fat. They were so loud. It's like, prove to me this won't eat me. Yeah. I'm three. this this this this this this this this th th this th. th. th. th th th. th. th th. th thi th is th is th is thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thiole is thi's thi's thi's thiolou's thiolou is the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thou. th. th. th. thou. th. th. th. th. thou. th. th. the. the prove to me this won't eat me. Yeah. I'm three. What do I know? I'm ten. This still seems like a problem.
For the listener, who may have landed on the other side of where we are, I do have to
offer up that a nosy neighbor can still take you to a place that you're so angry.
You don't you don't even really understand why it's it's where things become so
petty. You know like when you have that neighbor that just moves your trash can
and you're like why'd you do that? It's not a thing that should even affect your
day but if they do it enough you're ready to snap I feel like nosy people
have that level of effect. It's that metal song kind of like, you've been somewhere in a white person who just would randomly pop up and be like hey what
you doing and I'm just like the fuck are you?
I don't know how many times that has happened to me I'm like the fuck to the.
I don't know I'm not telling you nothing.
Why I was just wondering, y'all look like y'all having fun.
No, bitch, move.
You don't, that's not what you're here for.
You want to know what three niggas is where you at. Move, no. It's like, it's the same, it's the same, it's the same, it's the same, it's the same, it's the same, it's, the whole concept of like bringing over like a
like oh we just brought over a little like casserole or whatever and like first
of all I don't know you might eat your food I feel like we're crossing in
to a territory of just
people think of just someone being neighborly versus
no no no you do not understand the original intent of that.
Oh, hey, welcome to the neighborhood.
They want to see what your house looks like.
They want to see how many people are in your house.
They want to see how you decorate it.
It's to be nosy. They don't know you.
So they welcome you to the neighborhood to find out who you are, what you do, who lives
over here.
So when they establish what the baseline of humans is over here, then when anybody who's
not in that, let's like, okay, well it's a husband and a wife or it's, you know
two husbands, whatever.
If you see Bobby and Jim doesn't left on a trip, and Jim got somebody else coming over.
Well, we know that's that's not... Well, where's, what, what, you know, Bobby? We saw Bobby with a suitcase and Bobby said he was going on, going on, like, business trip for a couple days. Well, why does it? You see, and it's that. So now I know... I see what you mean. So that's how you create the nos, we the nos, we the nos, we the nos, we the nos, we the n, we the n, we the n, we the n, we the n, we the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, we're, we're, the, we're, we're, we're, we're, the, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th what you mean so that's how you create the nosy neighbor in a neighborhood like
like you know you because people on apartments don't come checking to see how you that's not
It's an apartment but like in a house you know you want to see who's around what's popping who's doing what
You want to make sure there's no you know foolish is going on so the original intent of the hey the house and how to judge you accordingly you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you know foolish you know you know foolish you know foolish you know foolish the the the you know foolish the the the the you know foolish foolish foolish foolish foolish is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th is thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thoooooooooooooooo that's th is th is th is th is th is of the, hey, welcome to the neighborhood, is to find out what the hell's going on at your house
and how to judge you accordingly for it.
Gotcha.
So the the thing that might be a bit difficult
is that the same way,
the same process of being like a new nosy neighbor is also kind of similar to becoming a new friend.
It's like, it's dangerously close.
It's like, like if you just moved in and I want to be your friend.
And I don't know you, and I don't even know what you do, but I'm like, oh, maybe I want
to be friends with this person.
I think I have to like, come over with some sort of welcome gift.
And I think I have to like, you know, invite you to stuff and like.
Yeah, but, so say you want to come over, develop a friendship.
I, you know, you have to both be interested to be friends.
Uh-huh.
So if it doesn't pop off,
if there's no chemistry there, but one of you doesn't get it, you keep coming over,
now you're just nosy.
Well, look, I'm glad that we have come to this, uh,
I feel like this is like one of the first times we really like really agreed on something. Yeah, I did not see this coming.
At least with a nosy neighbor, I can go in my house.
Uh-huh.
And then it's done.
With a loud neighbor, their lifestyle isn't, isn't, what's what's what I'm trying to say?
Is invading my home?
Yeah.
Like I don't live in your house, but I thethe noise in your house. Yeah. So it's like you don't pay rent here, so take your sounds.
Take the music, take the noise, take the argument.
I don't know y'all, I don't want to be involved.
I don't want to be involved.
I don't want to be involved.
I don't want to be involved. I feel you. Well, thank thn't thn't thn't thn't thank thank thank thank thank thank thank thank than than than than't than't than't thi thi. I thi. I tho. I tho. I'm tho. I tho. I don't the their. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm. I'm. I'm. I don't to be involved. I don't to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I to be involved. I the the the the the thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm tho. I don't tho. I don't thoooo. I don't thooooo. I don't thoooooo. I don't the the the the the the the the the to be house. I feel you. Well, thank you so much for listening to Hold Up.
We're here every week.
We drop every Thursday.
We bring new topics every time.
And I appreciate you being here in Dulce.
I appreciate that for once we really came to a,
this is never like, just so you know as listeners,
I don't know what episode this is gonna be or anything. But this hasn't happen ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. th. th. th. I I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th. to to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to, to to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. thto be or anything, but this hasn't happened before. Not even just in our friendship, it's very rare that me and you both are just like, yep.
When you take, when you gave me the, uh, the whole spectrum of, uh, auditory assault
that can be done. And I was like, I gotta be out, I gotta be out. Because the nosy neighbor has to see you to be nosy. A loud neighbor has never solved a murder.
They've never helped in an investigation.
No.
They know the least.
They were like, I didn't see anything.
I didn't hear anything either.
Right, but a nosy neighbor's accounts hold up in court.
Right, but a nosy neighbor's accounts hold up in court. Truly.
Listen to Hold Up wherever you get your podcast and watch the video version at Daily Show. Dotcom, backslash hold up.
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show.
Wherever you get your podcast. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at the Daily Show, wherever you get your podcasts.
Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes
anytime on Fairmount Plus.
This has been a Comedy Central podcast.