The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Ralph Northam's Bizarre Blackface Defense | Colin Quinn

Episode Date: February 5, 2019

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam allegedly appears in a racist costume, President Trump defends his plans for Syria, and Colin Quinn chats about "Red State Blue State." Learn more about your ad-choices at... https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiters' powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply
Starting point is 00:00:35 message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address. Zip Recruiter. the smartest way to hire. Hey everybody, John Stewart here.
Starting point is 00:01:03 I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show.. It it it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to to the. to to to to to to to to to the. the. to to to to the, the, the th, th, th, th, the th, the th, the the th, the th, the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the t ti ti ti ti. ti. ti. the the the the the the the the the the the smartest way to hire. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying to yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about. All the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking
Starting point is 00:01:32 about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. February 4th, 2019. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is the Daily! Welcome to the show, everybody! Welcome to the Daily Show, I'm Trevor Hogan. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Let's get into it, everyone. Oh, man. Oh, thank you for tuning in. I'm so excited. Our guest tonight is a comedy legend. Colin Quinn is joining us everybody. He's got a hit one-man show called Red State Blue State, which also sounds like the worst Dr. Seuss book.
Starting point is 00:02:52 Also on the show tonight, the least Super Bowl ever, a rapper caught lying even more than usual about his street creed, and one simple tip for how never to use shoe polish. So let's catch up on today's headlines. First up, the one story that absolutely nobody is talking about today, the Super Bowl. The Patriots win again in the lowest score in Super Bowl ever. Tom Brady and the Pats secure another championship. The game only had one touchdown, but it still set 18 records for what? One was for the longest punt in a Super Bowl. Record for fewest points in a Super Bowl, fewest points through three quarters,
Starting point is 00:03:32 fewest points by winning team. Yeah, those were the records that were set last night. But a lot of people will tell you another record was set for the most boring super bowl they've ever seen. That's right. This Superbowlapololol- thol- thol- thol- thol- thol- thoble thoble tho tho the game super tho the game super tho tho the game tho tho tho the game tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the game the game tho they've ever seen. That's right. This Super Bowl was so boring. It was like both teams' offenses were boycotting in support of Colin Kappenick. I mean, congratulations to the Patriots and Tom Brady,
Starting point is 00:03:53 who now has more rings than Johnny Depp. But yeah, it was a pretty boring game. And that half-time show did not help, right? I've got nothing against Maroon 5, but they made the weather the weather feel edgy, you know? Like, Maroon 5 was so dull that even Adam's Levine's shirt just got up and left. It was like, I'm out. I don't need to be here for this. Moving on to some crazy news, 21 Savage, the most savage rapper since 20 Savage, has been in the streets for a long time representing Atlanta. Like he is pure Atlanta hip hop. Or at least we thought so until yesterday.
Starting point is 00:04:31 The Atlanta Journal Constitution says Grammy-nominated Grapper 21 Savage was arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement. Ice officials say he's from the United Kingdom and overstayed his visa. 21 Savage has claimed he's from Atlanta. Authorities say he entered the U.S. legally in 2005, but has been in the country illegally since his visa expired the following year. He could face deportment. This is one of the wildest stories I've ever come across.
Starting point is 00:04:57 21 Savage was arrested for being from the UK. Like, we expect rappers to get arrested for like guns and assault, not tea and crumpets. Apparently his real name isn't even 21st, it's Lord Savagstyn the 21st. And this is really rock the hip hop community and I understand why, right? It's like finding out that Tupac is really Chad from Vermont or that Cardi B is secretly German. It's just like, I'm not nish dancer, I make money moves. A k-Kur! Like I don't even know how this happened.
Starting point is 00:05:33 Like was 21 faking it or did he really change? Because I'm like, was he just like chatting to everyone was like, yeah, man, you know how we doing Atlanta, man, doing it, and and things, and just, good-lilly, oh man, I got into this phone, just, hello, yes, yes. Yes, I'm quite hot on these streets, yes, doing very well. Okay, tell you later, bye, bacterial. Yeah, man, what was I saying, man? Honestly, I haven't been this stunned since that, but it was still a surprise. Moving on, it is now just 637 days until the 2020 presidential election.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Yep. And that, that amount of time is roughly as long as last night's Super Bell felt. And this weekend, another candidate threw his hat into the ring. Now to the 2020 race for president tonight, make room for one more contender. Senator Corey Booker announcing his presidential bid today, joining the already crowded Democratic field. I'm the only senator who goes home to a low-income inner-city community, the first community that took a chance on me.
Starting point is 00:06:43 Hemaada! Hodaoda, the the the neighbor a chance on me. Hermada? Hiola, how ta? His neighbor cheering him on. Okay, uh... I don't know if I want Corey Bucke to be president, but I do know I want that old woman to be the neighbor of the president. That is dope. They just just move her to an apartment outside the Oval Office. Every morning she'll be like, S. Signor Trump, can you turn your TV down? It's too loud, my cats can't sleep.
Starting point is 00:07:08 I'm sorry, Abuela. My friend Sean Henry is very loco. Now, if Corey wins, he obviously wouldn't be the first African-American president, but he would make history as the first president named Corey, which might be an even bigger achievement. Yeah. Corey is not the name of a president. Corey's the name of a hot guy in high school who now runs his dad gas station. That's what that is. Although I will say he's already got one advantage on Trump, he's windproof. That'll work. And finally, Saturday was Groundhog Day, which leads me to ask, what the hell is Groundhog Day? This is insane. People pull a rodent out of the ground,
Starting point is 00:07:56 and then they ask the animal to predict the weather. This is so unfair, because if Africans were doing shit like this, and you heard that we pulled animals out of the ground. Like, there are villages in Africa where people wear animal skin, and if I try to explain to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which their their their their their their their their their their, which their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.e. their, their, their, heard that we pulled animals out of the ground, like there are villages in Africa where people wear animal skin, and if I try to explain that Americans use groundhogs to predict the weather, they'd be like, ah, but why not use the satellite data? Ah, what's going on in America? All right, let's move on to pick his face out of a lineup, they probably would have been like, I guess the bald eagle in the wick. But off this weekend, everyone knows the governor of Virginia, and for all the wrong reasons.
Starting point is 00:08:34 Breaking tonight, a racist yearbook photo taken over three decades ago has surfaced. This picture of two unidentified individuals, one painted in blackface, the other in a KKK robe and hood appears on the 1984 medical school yearbook page of current Virginia Governor Ralph Northam, the photo triggering calls for Northam's resignation. Northam says I am deeply sorry for the decision I made to appear as I did in this photo and for the hurt that decision caused then and now. I cannot change the decisions I made, but I accept responsibility for my past actions,
Starting point is 00:09:10 and I am ready to do the hard work of regaining your trust. Wow. Blackface and a clan outfit in the same photo. These are two things that should never see the lights of day. Kind of like Adam Davine's nipples. So on Friday, Virginia's Democratic governor, Ralph Northam, admitted to being one of the people in this old yearbook photo, right? But he didn't say which person he was.
Starting point is 00:09:35 And I don't blame him, because neither option is good. Yeah, it's like you're taking a trip and your only choices are the Titanic and Spirit Airlines, you know? Yeah, I mean, at least on the Titanic you might get to fuck Leo, but I mean... Although I will say, I suppose admitting to Blackface is actually worse. Yeah, because then everyone's mad at you, but if you say you're a clan member, now you're part of a community. There's an upside. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter. Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at Zip Recruiter's smart technology, their
Starting point is 00:10:19 smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, Zip Recruiter's powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it, and you can use Zip Recruiter's pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack. Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, zip recruiter.com slash zip. that zip recruiter.com slash zip. Zip recruiter, the smartest way to hire. It's been said that nice skies finish last. But is that really true?
Starting point is 00:11:04 I'm Tim Harford, host of the Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness. We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos and will delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper and dare to confront a formidable empire.
Starting point is 00:11:46 The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the IHart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.
Starting point is 00:12:28 You know what the real shame is, is that if these weren't costumes and it was a black guy and a clan member having a drink together, this would be a huge step forward. Racial harmony, we did it folks. But because it was costumes, it's extremely offensive. And to his credit, Governor Northam came out and he apologized for being in the photo. To his uncredits, he took it back the next day. Northam, now backtracking the governor saying that after a closer look, it's not him, but he does admit to wearing blackface at one point in the past. My belief that I did not wear that costume or attend that party, stems part from my clear memory of other mistakes I made in the same period of my life.
Starting point is 00:13:13 That same year I did participate in a dance contest in San Antonio, in which I darkened my face as part of a Michael Jackson costume. You know, this guy's a legend. I'm sorry. His new defense is that he knows he didn't do this black face because he clearly remembers doing a different black face. Although it does make it more believable that it wasn't him in the photo because who would defend themselves by admitting to a different crime? Your Honor, I couldn't be the Boston Strangler,
Starting point is 00:13:45 because I'm the Philadelphia Strangler! Go Eagles! Ah! Although, what's especially strange is that it took Northam a day to remember that he wasn't in this photo. Like, if someone asks you if you were ever in Blackface or dressed as the KKK, it's never a good sign if your answer starts with, uh... And still, and still, credit to Governor Northam for coming out, you know, clean about a different time that he did blackface for a Michael Jackson impression.
Starting point is 00:14:22 Although again, uncredits, once he started sharing the details. I'll tell you exactly what I did. I had the shoes, I had a glove, and I used just a little bit of shoe polish to put under my or all my cheeks. And the reason I used a very little bit is because I don't know if anybody has ever tried that, but you cannot get shoe polish off. But it was a dance contest. Whoa whoa whoa whoa I'm I'm sorry how did he already know it's hard
Starting point is 00:14:52 to get the shoe polish off your face because at first it sounded like he made a mistake now it sounds like he's a black face connoisseur now some might prefer charcoal but I've always been a shoe polish kind of guy with just a hint of soot for texture. Oh, and also, just a little tip for anyone planning on doing a Michael Jackson impression. If you're wearing the sparkly shoes and the gloves and you're doing the moonwalk, that's good enough. We get who you are. No one's going to be like, is he Lady Gaga?
Starting point is 00:15:28 Who is that? So whether or not Governor Northam was in that yearbook photo or not, we do know he definitely did blackface at some point. We also know he should definitely hire someone to speak for him. You said that the competition in San Antonio was a dance concert? Yes. It was that you danced the moonwalk? That's right.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Are you still able to moon walk? Oh. Inappropriate circumstances. My wife says inappropriate circumstances. Yeah. Yo, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait,
Starting point is 00:16:08 hold up, hold up. Hold up. This guy was about to moonwalk. No, because he was looking around like, well, I normally need like, five feet to get momentum, I, uh, you know. I can't believe this guy was actually going to do the moonwalk in the middle of his blackface apology. That is the wrong time for dance moves, okay?
Starting point is 00:16:31 That would be like if Bill Clinton said, I did not have sexual relations with that woman. And also, props to Northam's wife, because clearly that's not the first time she's had to stop him from showing his moonwalking skills off, right........ And the the the their. And th. And th. And to to th. And to th. And to th. to th. th. to th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thiol-I's thiol-a' thiol-a' thiol-a' thiol-a' thiolome. thiolome. thiolome. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, to me me, to me, to me, thi. And, to me, to me, to me to me toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe's toe. toease thi's thi's thin. thi's thi's thi's thi. th's not the first time she's had to stop him from showing his moonwalking skills off right he probably does this all the time he's probably at funerals like how about now no no not appropriate and now not appropriate he's like the grout of moonwalks that really moonwalk no no moonwalk no moonwalk no moon walk no moonwalk no moon walk and look and look Governor Northam seems to be showing genuine remorse about this weird, racist phase of his life. But many are saying it isn't enough to be sorry now.
Starting point is 00:17:12 You should have known it was a problem all along. Do you think as a grown adult that it's problematic that you need to have it explained to you that black face is offensive? No, I, you know, I'm not a person of color? And people of color, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that you that black face is offensive? No, I, you know, I'm not a person of color. And people of color experience different things. It affects them, different ways. That's right, I'm not a person of color. But if you give me two minutes.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Billy Jean, not my, ma'am. Oh, man. We're in an interesting place right now. I don't know what to make of this whole racism dumpster fire, right? Because Northam is in an interesting position. People want him to resign. While others are saying that his record has been exemplary, he's been an ally to black people. His apology was messed up, but the things he's actually done in office work to make black people's lives better.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Others are saying, yeah, we're not saying that's not true. But at the end of the day he did appear in blackface and he was busted for it so maybe you could give that job to somebody else who has never been in blackface or a clanhood. The truth is it seems like no matter how many times we say it a lot of white people just can't stop themselves from doing blackface. Luckily for them, Leo Deblin has a solution. Are you a white person with the history of doing blackface? And now you're terrified that the pictures might get out. You don't have to throw away your career
Starting point is 00:18:50 because you was blayed at a Halloween party. If you in blackface, I got your back face. Introducing Leo Devlin's blackface protection. If someone finds an old blackface picture of you, I just say it was me. They can't fire me. I ain't got a job. Don't resign from your job and disgrace. Let me protect you for the low price of $850,000. You get that from your mom. Governor, is this a yearbook photo of you in Blackface?
Starting point is 00:19:22 Um. It was me. That doesn't look like you. That's because you are racist. Book photo of you in Blackface? Oh. It was me. That doesn't look like you. That's because you are racist. Leo Devlin Blackface Protection. Don't worry about looking black. As long as you can pay one. Got my money, bitch.
Starting point is 00:19:35 I got it. Leo Devlin, Blackface Protection, an institute a baller friend. Leo Devlin, Blackface protection, an Institute of Baller Friend. Leo Devlin, Blackface Protection, an Institute of Baller Friend. Exit 120 by the Fairgrounds, next to Foot Locker. Use promo code racist for 10% all! Right with Junior, everybody, we'll be right back. Finding great candidates to hire can be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. You might get a lot of resumes, but not enough candidates with the right skills or experience. But not with Zip Recruiter.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Zip Recruiter finds amazing candidates for you fast. And right now you can try it for free at ziprecruter.com. Zip Recruiters smart technology identifies top talent for your roles quickly. Immediately after you post your job, zip recruiters powerful matching technology starts showing you qualified people for it. And you can use zip recruiters pre-written invite to apply message to personally reach out to your favorite candidates and encourage them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let zip recruiter recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit recruit to the to the the to the to the the to the the to the the the to to to the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te.them to apply sooner. Ditch the other hiring sites and let Zip Recruiter find what you're looking for, the needle in the haystack.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, zip recruiter. thoo's sce. Zip Recruiter. The smartest way to hire. It's been said that nice guys finish last. But is that really true? I'm Tim Harford, host of The Cautionary Tales podcast, and I'm exploring that very question. Join me for my new miniseries on the Art of Fairness.
Starting point is 00:21:24 We'll travel from New York to Tahiti to India on a quest to learn how to succeed without being a jerk. We'll examine stories of villains undone by their villainy and monstrous self-devaring egos, and we'll delve into the extraordinary power of decency. We'll face mutiny on the vast Pacific Ocean, blaze a trail with a pioneering skyscraper, and dare to confront a formidable empire. The art of fairness on cautionary tales. Listen on the IHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast,
Starting point is 00:22:09 The Weekly Show, coming out every Thursday. We're gonna be talking about the election, earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're gonna be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show. This weekend, this weekend, the Groundhog wasn't the only adorable furball that came out
Starting point is 00:22:45 of hibernation. President Trump made a rare appearance on a non-Fox News program. And you can tell that he was tired because at times he actually made sense. Would you let your son Baron play football? It's very, it's a very tough question. It's a very good question. If he wanted to, yes. Would I steer him that way?
Starting point is 00:23:08 No, I wouldn't. Why? I just don't like the reports that I see coming out having to do with football. I mean, it's a dangerous sport. I really think that as far as my, well, I've heard NFL players saying they wouldn't let their sons play football. So it's not totally unique, but I would have a hard time with it. That's right. Trump doesn't want his son to have brain damage,
Starting point is 00:23:31 which is strange because usually fathers want their children to follow in their footsteps. But that was a thoughtful response from the president. And really different from how he usually talks about football. Today, if you hit too hard, right, they hit too hard, 15 yards, throw him out of the game. They had that last week, I watched for a couple of minutes, and two guys just really beautiful tackle. Boom, 15 yards.
Starting point is 00:23:58 The referee gets on television, his wife is sitting at home, she's so proud of him. They're ruining the game. Used to see these tackles, and it was incredible to watch, right? Now they tackle. Oh, head-on-head collision, 15-yard. The whole game is all screwed up. Football's become soft like our country has become soft. It's true. It's true, folks. And the other guys' totk, tot, tot, tot, tot, tooe, toe, toes, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, today, today, to, tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. today, today, to. today, to. togu. to. togu. togu. to. to. to. And what's the deal with seatbelts? Back in my day, you went straight through the windshield.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Into the other guy's car, and that's how you made friends. Fun fact, that's how I met Rudy Giuliani. But basically what Trump is saying is that he's cool with other kids playing football, but he doesn't want his little guy hurting his brain. Safety first. And if he had it his way, football would be even more dangerous. Yeah, they'd probably be coconuts getting dropped on the player's heads. A ball that just burst into flames at random times, a mid-game purge for the next five
Starting point is 00:24:58 minutes. All crime is legal between the 20 and 50 odd lines. Now Trump didn't just make football news this weekend. He also commented on the other violent crisis threatening Americans, Syria. You see, the President wants to pull out so that he's not stuck paying support for years. He knows how this goes. And a lot of senators, a lot of senators led by Mitch McConnell are worried that if America pulls out of Syria, ISIS could
Starting point is 00:25:27 regain power. But luckily the Commander-in-Chief has that figured out. You could in that vacuum see a resurgence of ISIS. See a resurgence of Germans like outkind. We have very fast airplanes. We have very good cargo planes. We can come back very quickly. I love that these rationale is we have very good cargo planes, we can come back very quickly.
Starting point is 00:25:53 I love that he's rationale is we have very fast airplanes, we can just go back, like America can just jump back into Syria. Like a mom checking on her son to see if he's doing drugs in his room. Okay, ISIS, we're going now. Bye-bye. But believe it or not, his views on football and Syria weren't the biggest Trump news of the weekend. No, the story everyone was talking about was this. Axios says a White House source leaked President Trump's private schedule from the last three months. It indicates he has spent about 60% of his time in unstructured executive time.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Axio sources say much of that is spent in his private residence watching TV, reading the papers and phoning AIDS and other people.... In. In. In. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. No. No. No. thi. No. thii, thi. No. thi. thi. thi. No thi. The story thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No thi. No. No. The story thi. The story thii. thii. th. the story the story. the story. the story. th. th. time. Axio sources say much of that is spent in his private residence watching TV, reading the papers and phoning aids and other people. In response, press secretary Sarah Sanders says, while the president spends much of his average day in scheduled meetings, events and calls, there is time to allow for a more creative environment. A more creative environment? That is not cool, Sarah Huckabee Sanders. You're supposed to be defending the president, not making him sound like he spends all morning in a Montessori preschool. Great, he spends time in a more creative environment. Because now I'm just picturing Trump in his briefings like,
Starting point is 00:26:59 the dog goes quack. The dog goes, woof! Isis goes, boom! And the Donald goes no collusion. Now predictably, predictably many people were upset at the news that the president spends nearly two-thirds of his day not doing anything. They think he should be working hard in the Oval Office, studying policy, military strategy, you know, really tackling the nation's problems head on. But I'll be honest.
Starting point is 00:27:34 I disagree. Because, I mean, it's not his place. Basically, what I'm saying is, I'm cool with other presidents working hard. But I don't want my little guy hurting his brain. Safety first. We'll be right back. Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Starting point is 00:27:53 My guest tonight is an actor and comedian whose new one-man show is called Red State Blue States. Please welcome Colin Quinn. Welcome, Colin Quinn. Welcome back to the Daily Show, my friend. Thank you. It is so good to have you here for so many reasons. One because you're one of my favorite comedians. And two, because I was super worried about you because you had a heart attack.
Starting point is 00:28:24 I know, thank you for sending me flowers. I did. Yes you did I was very happy. I'm glad I didn't know how you'd like flowers because I don't like you don't seem like a flowersy kind of person. No I know but you know chocolate would have been like a failed kind of threat to me probably how are you that. How like, like, like, Colin Quinn, like, in your face, like, like, the heart attack, are you now like, I'm Colin Quinn? Yes, exactly. I've changed my whole attitude. Have you had to chill, or you're still in the game doing your things,
Starting point is 00:28:51 just eat differently? No, I don't even. to the try and took the medication and then change my diet, you do one or the other, you know what I mean? Oh Lord. What's the point of progress if you're gonna, you know? Oh yeah, I mean why do both? Why do both? I get you, of course.
Starting point is 00:29:15 For a pressure, extra five years? Oh yes. Let's play on by all means. Let's talk about your new show. Yes. You do stand up, but but but but but but but but but but but but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, their, their, their, their, the about your new show. Yes. You do stand up, but then you also have these one-man shows that you put together that are beautiful. Oftentimes you talk about the country, the history of the country, where America's been. And now this is really about where America is and where it's going. Red State, Blue State. You are calling for the breakup of America in this new show. Well, yeah, sure. throwne. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thate, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often often, often often, often often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, often, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. thaua. tha. thaua. thauaua. thaua. thi. Often, often, often, often, often, it's already broken up, but it's just a question of making it official, you know. I like how flippantly you say that, Colin. You're just like, yeah, I mean, of course. Yeah, well, I mean, nobody gets a law. Nobody, here's what I feel like people don't understand, is that nobody's changing their opinion. Right. So everybody keeps like,
Starting point is 00:29:58 their twea people have to understand, you know, saying, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, people, like, people, like, like, like, like, like, people have to understand. It's like, no one's changing the way they think, and they probably shouldn't. People are allowed, that's the whole point of the country, everything's the way they feel like thinking. So, I feel like, in light of that, let's chop it up until like 12 city states and see what it, see how it pans out. So let me ask you this, then. think the solution is, or more importantly, from your show, because I know you do like a bunch of research for yourself. What do you think has led us to this point? Well, no, I mean, I feel like we're always here. I mean, the Civil War happened because people don't get along.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I feel like social media is the first time people look and go, oh, you're in my face every day. I really thought that was just an anecdotal. I was just an idea. I was just an idea. I was just an idea. I was just just just an idea. I was just just an idea. I was just just an idea. I was just an idea. I was just an idea. I was just an idea. I was just an idea. I was just an idea. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. that. that was just. that was just. that was just. that was. that was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was just just just just. It was just. I was just. I was just. I was just. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feel. I feelthink social media has made it worse then? Sure. It's, it's, I was, I say in the show, it's an acoustic art. It was not meant to go electric, you know? And now it's, yeah. You, you've had a show that's successful. It's been extended, I think, now to March 16th. It's done really well. about the show because I mean it's a show about divisions the show about breaking the country up and yet you got people coming in from both sides
Starting point is 00:31:05 saying I enjoy the show. Yeah because I feel like it is gonna people really do realize this is crunch time for the country like this really is gonna be a breakup unless people you know and I don't even care about it's a try. And I don't even care about is that people acknowledge I just don't to the the war all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all the war the war the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their people people their people I I their people their people to to their people I I to to to to to to to our country? I want everyone to know, this is what we're leading to. So you don't mind the war, you just want us to all know why the war started? Yes, exactly. I just don't. I just don't want us all being there like, oh we knew this was coming. Exactly. You guys ready to charge this one guy who's like, wa. what's what's what's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. that, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. the war. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. the. the. th That's the only thing that bothers me in life. I don't mind bloodshed or whatever. I just mind people going, hey, I wasn't
Starting point is 00:31:50 part of it. We're all complicit. So I'm just putting that out there. I love this, my friend. Thank you. You've been strung after the heart attack. Colin Quinn. toen, the state, blue state, is at the New York thrown. th. th. th. th. th. I, is, is, is, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. I. I. th. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm just th. I th. I th. I th. I just th. I th. I just th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I just just just just just just th th th th th thi. I just just th th th thi. th th th thi. thi. I just just just just just just th thi. I just thi. I just th through March 16th. Go and watch it. It's an amazing show. Colin Quinn.com is where you can find tickets. Colin Quinn show. Colin Quinn, everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition.
Starting point is 00:32:13 The Daily Show, weeknights, the Daily Show, and the Daily Show. Watch the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show.com. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and subscribe to the Daily Show on YouTube for exclusive content and more. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show. It's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting. You'll be saying yourself, TGID. Thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess
Starting point is 00:33:01 you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.

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