The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Rudy Giuliani Fuels Trump's Stormy Daniels Scandal | David Blaine

Episode Date: May 4, 2018

An armored car spills $600,000 on an Indiana highway, Rudy Giuliani adds a new twist to the Stormy Daniels scandal, and David Blaine performs his notorious ice pick trick. Learn more about your ad-ch...oices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show. We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. May 3rd, 2018. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York,
Starting point is 00:00:27 this is the Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. What's going on, everybody? Welcome to the Daily Show. Thank you so much for treating it. I'm Trennawa. Our guest tonight, our guest tonight, world-renowned magician. David Blaine is joining us, everybody. But first, but first, if you have a friend in Indiana who mysteriously showed up to your potluck with a solid gold iPhone, I may know why.
Starting point is 00:01:11 It seems like a dream come true, thousands of dollars in cash, littering an Indiana highway with drivers jumping out of their cars to help collect it. The money came from an armored Brinks truck that burst open, sending a reported $600,000 flying everywhere. This morning an investigation is underway as police try to recover the cash still missing. We're granting full amnesty, full immunity of any prosecution. If they just call us and say, hey, I picked up some of this money, I'd like to give it back.
Starting point is 00:01:39 No, I'm sorry, Mr. Policeman. If people picked up that money, they don't have to give it back. As the 34th Amendment of the Constitution clearly states, finders keepers. You know what I think, personally, I think that since banks charge us to get our own money from them, we should charge them to give the money back. That's what we should do. Yeah, I'll turn the cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash cash, I'll to to to the cash, I'll the cash, I'll, I'll to to the cash, I'll the cash, I'll their, I'll their, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll their their their their their their the money back. That's what we should do. Be like, yeah, I'll turn the cash into the car, but there's going to be a little transaction fee on that.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I will say, though, this whole story is one of the major reasons why I'm against self-driving cars. Can you imagine if all the cash was on the freeway and you were driving parts of thrown. But let's move on. From losing money to a company that basically prints its own money. After months of controversy, Facebook thinks it's time for a reset. We came here for the friends. And we got to know the friends of our friends. And we found others just like us. And just like that, we felt a little less alone. But then something happened.
Starting point is 00:02:48 We had to deal with spam, click bait, fake news, and data misuse. That's going to change. From now on, Facebook will do more to keep you safe and protect your privacy. So we can all get back to what made Facebook good in the first place. Friends. Oh! Oh, goosebumps. Yeah, that ad, I'm not a lie.
Starting point is 00:03:09 That ad was so effective. I almost didn't notice that Facebook forgot to mention the part where it let Steve Bannon put his dick in all our data. I don't know, it's like that voice just made me forget. But then, something happened. We've got to go to the old Facebook. Yeah, Facebook, you happened. This is like, something happened. No, you happened.
Starting point is 00:03:30 People should try and use that voice whenever they're in trouble. You know, I was just like, I was trying to make a little extra cash, but then something happened. Now, you have no kidneys. But let's get to the big news of news news day. The Stormy Daniels affair. When we last left the story, the official Team Trump version was that Michael Cohen, without Trump knowing, paid Daniels $130,000 to keep quiet about an affair that allegedly never happened. Cohen said it, Sarah Sanders said it, and Trump himself said it. All right. Then, two weeks ago, President Trump hired his good friend Rudy Giuliani to join his ever-changing
Starting point is 00:04:08 legal team. And in case you forgot who Rudy Giuliani is, enjoy. There is just America! So yeah, that's Trump's new legal counsel. And last night, Giuliani went on TV and flipped the Stormy Daniels payment story upside down. Rudy Giuliani, dropping an absolute bombshell tonight, saying that President Trump paid his fixer Michael Cohen back for that $130,000 hushed money
Starting point is 00:04:36 payment to Stormy Daniels. Sorry, I'm giving you a fact now that you don't know. It's not campaign money. No campaign finance violation. So they funneled it through the law firm. Funneled through a law firm and the president repaid it. Oh, I didn't know, he did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:55 Rudy! What are you doing? You're now saying that President Trump did pay Stormy Daniels? This is big news. It's so big, it's so big that you probably didn't even hear that that Kanye West said he wants to design new robes for the KKK. You didn't hear that, did you? All right, now that didn't actually happen, but you weren't sure about it. Yeah, you weren't sure. The big question is, why would Giuliani and Trump change their story? There's no logical explanation. The only logical explanation would have to be that he's getting out in front of some bad
Starting point is 00:05:33 facts. I personally think that the raid on Michael Cohen's home office and hotel room really scared the White House. Juliani and Trump likely know that there will be some bad facts getting out there. They may want to get ahead of it. Wow. Imagine a PR crisis so bad that your best move is to admit you paid hush money to a porn stock.
Starting point is 00:05:52 So, so just so we're all on the same page. Everyone pretended that Trump had nothing to do with this payment. But now that the FBI has rated Michael Cohen's offices, they're probably afraid that the truth is about to come out. So they want to get out ahead of it first, which I totally understand. Yeah, when I was a kid, I would do the same thing. I'd run into the kitchen like, mom, mom, I ate all the cookies. And then my brother would pop him behind me like, mom, Trevor, I'm tole. deserve a cookie. We'll be right back. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly
Starting point is 00:06:31 show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday we're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics. Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast. Welcome back to the Daily Show.
Starting point is 00:07:28 My guest tonight is a death-defying magician who will be kicking off a North American tour on May 6th. Please welcome, David Blaine. It must be weird being a world-renowned magician because I know I do it and I feel like everyone does it around you. I don't like trust you. Like even when I greeted you now I was like, did he steal my watch? It's my, I know I do it and I feel like, their tie changing color. Is that like, I don't like trust you, like, thi tied-changing color? Is that like a thing that like you that like that like you you you you you you you you you just that like that like that like that you you just that like that you just that like that that that you just that that that that that that that that that that that that that that you just just just just just just just that you've just that you've just that that you've just like that you've just like that you just like that you just like that you just like that you just like that you just like that you just like that you just like that you just like that you just like that you just like you just that you just that you just that you just that you just that you just that you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've you've trust you. Like even when I greeted you now, I was like, did he steal my watch?
Starting point is 00:08:05 Is my tie changing color? Is that like a thing that you've just gotten used to is people are ready for a trick all the time? Well, let me start with this show on its own, is the start of my career. It was John Stewart that gave me my first break when I was 18 or 19 years old to put me on television. Wow. This is a start. And the first time I did magic to John, he went running out of his office and climbed
Starting point is 00:08:37 up a wall. It was at the MTV building. That's, yeah, that's the black side of him. That's something I wanted like, like, have you noticed how, when you do magic, because I've watched all of your specials, I've watched your clips on YouTube everywhere, but like when you perform magic for black people, I don't know if you've noticed this, but they run very far. I've seen... I've seen... I grew up with an opposite because, you know, my godfather, you know, he's, you know, African American, the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:09:10 The whole thing, I'm with her, yeah. And I would do magic to him when I was little and he didn't respond at all. My mother, Russian Jew, was the polar opposite. I would do tricks to her that were like simple car tricks and she would go running away screaming. So it was like it was like you know I was raised by a single mother and anything I did to her was like that the ultimate reaction. So when I started doing magic I started just looking for reactions. So right right right now one time the early idea for the TV show which was was called Street Magic, I was walking
Starting point is 00:09:47 through the, and I was doing a one-handed shuffle. I was in like, in Times Square, but when it was like a dangerous area. Right. And these four guys saw me doing a one-handed shuffle, and just started like screaming over a one-handed shuffle and came over and I started to do magic to him and the reactions were incredible. So that was like what drove me but I started to realize that in order to get really good reactions, you have to do things that provoke people. Right. Because like right now if I did something to your reaction in this environment would be very muted right Because I'm trying to hide that you freaked me out No, it would be muted unless I did something that though, do you want to see the, think of a four-digit number that's important
Starting point is 00:10:57 to you, or do you want to see the, think of a four-digit number that's important to you, or do you want to see the ice pick? Four digit number, right? Well, that's really good because I actually brought an ice pick with me. See, and this one would probably be hard to not react too much to, but will you just check it and make sure it's actually real? Yeah, that's real. Yeah. Another... Then I also... I've tested ice picks my whole life.
Starting point is 00:11:30 That's real. I also brought with me some alcohol. And this is to make sure that my hand doesn't just explode or blow up or anything weird. Oh, man. Oh, man. See, this is what I do with this. By the way, I started reading your book. It's amazing. So now, often people say that when I do this there's like some sort of tunnel or something like that. So now, often people say that when I do this, there's like some sort of tunnel or something
Starting point is 00:12:06 like that. So I'll let, you, you kind of pick the spot. Yeah, yeah, let's say just, yeah. Like in, in, sure. Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah. Maybe don't poke it through a vein because then blood will shoot out everywhere. I think there, it looks like the safest place. Right in there? Right over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. so. th. th. th.. I think that looks like that looks like right over right over there. Right in there? That's really? Wow. I don't know. I have no clue what's going to happen. You yeah. Well I've never done this where I just let's somebody choose where they're going to shove this thing. Well I'm not I'm not choosing I'm suggesting. Let's here. Let's thrown. the th. I'm not I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm not I I I I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm not choosing. I I I I I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not choosing. I'm not. I, let's just see here. Here, maybe, here, you know what, if you feel around, maybe.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah, that's nice, that's safe. Yeah, see, see how it looks, yeah, see that? See how it looks like it's really starting to go in there? See that? See that? Oh! See that? Oh! Oh! See. Oh!
Starting point is 00:13:05 Oh! Oh! But, right there, There's no way to know if it's actual. If it's actual, until you see the other side, Trevor. See, it would be this side. See, like, when you do like that.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Oh. You know, will you grab it from the bottom Trevor? Yeah, grab it from the bottom. Yeah, just push. Just push. Yeah, push. Yeah, push. Oh! Oh! See, see that. See, that would be hard not to react to. Um, Trevor.
Starting point is 00:13:55 This is for you to keep. See, that would be hard not to react to. Um, Trevor. Trevor. This is for you to react to. Um, Trevor, this is for you to keep. So can you just pull that out? Slowly. Yeah. Pull.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Pull. Oh, oh. Hold on. Hold on. All that. For tickets, for tickets to see David Blaine Live. their live nation. David Blah, everybody, no. But. The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, Ears Edition. Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11, 10 Central on Comedy Central, and the Comedy Central app. Watch full episodes and videos at the Daily Show. And follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for exclusive content and more.
Starting point is 00:14:58 This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about Comedy Central podcast. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show, it's going to be coming out every Thursday. So exciting, you'll be saying to yourself, TGID, thank God it's Thursday. We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way that they obsess me. The election. Economics.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. And I know that I listed that fourth, but in importance, it's probably second. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? I mean, talk about innovative. Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.

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