The Daily Show: Ears Edition - Shelia Stubbs's Canvassing-While-Black Incident | Tracey Ullman
Episode Date: September 21, 2018A white man erroneously calls the cops on a black state assembly candidate in Wisconsin, Desi Lydic discusses paranoid parents, and Tracey Ullman talks "Tracey Ullman's Show." Learn more about your a...d-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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You're listening to Comedy Central.
Hey everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast,
the weekly show coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls?
We're going to be talking about ingredient-to-bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go,
but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with John
Stewart wherever you get your podcast.
September 20, 2018. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is the
daily show with Trevor Noah, Ears edition. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, this is the Daily Show with
Trevor Noah, Ears Edition.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome to the Daily Show.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome to the Daily Show.
Thank you so much for tuning and I'm Trevor Noah.
Our guest tonight, our guest tonight is a comedy icon and star of Tracy Oman's show on
HBO.
Tracy Oman is here, everybody.
We're going to be chatting to her about her new HBO show, but first, let's catch
up on today's headlines.
President Trump, remember him?
We all know he wants to build a wall, and now he wants other countries to build one, too.
President Trump has a brand new border wall controversy, only this one involves a desert
in Africa.
Spain's foreign minister says Trump told him he should build a border wall across the
entire Sahara desert to penis, and it's still only the
second most embarrassing story about you this week.
And you know, like to be honest, I'm disappointed in Trump, because when he first came
up with the wall, I thought he was like a crazy out-of-the-box thinker, but now I realize he's only
got one move.
Like, I wouldn't be shocked if Trump uses the wall as a pickup line.
Like he's that guy at the bar who's like,
excuse me, miss, is that drink a wall?
Because somebody else is about to pay for it.
And just, by the way, I can't even believe I have to say this, but Africa is not a part of Spain,
so they can't just build something on someone else's land.
All right, in other news, if you like the Boston Red Sox, or if you hate the Boston Red Sox,
you're still going to love this story.
The Boston Red Sox can clinch first place in the American League East tonight, they had already printed a banner, marking the title, ti ti tied tied tied tied tied tied tied tied tied tied tied, tied, tied, tied, the the the title, but it went missing. Enter Louis Iakuzzi and James Amaral,
who said they found it on the side of the road. They say it fell off a truck.
They offered to return it for a price.
We want to give it back to them because it belongs to them, and it doesn't belong to us.
But in reciprocation, we would like, you know, maybe to go to a nice playoff game, or a their thua, thua, thua, thia, thia, thia, thia, thia, to, thia, to, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, th a nice playoff game or... We were looking for something.
We could have kept it, we could have put it on eBay.
We could, you know, we got connections where we could have reached out of the sources.
Amazing.
They did return the banner today, but got nothing from the Red Sox in return.
Wow.
It's like watching Goodwill hunting without all the math parts.
Like, what do they do it?
And like, why do low-level crooks always use English in the wrong places?
We're just looking for, you know, these reciprocations in a way that, you know, commodifies what we're trying...
And look, I'm not saying these guys are criminals, but they seem like low-level crooks.
Like, who plans a heiast for something you could print at Kinko's for yourself?
Like, what is their next job? Shaking down a lemonade stand? Billy, you're 25 cents short. I guess someone is sleeping with the fish sticks tonight. Come on. All right, moving on.
Do you ever get really high and think about lobsters?
Well, what if a lobster got really high and thought about you?
A main restaurant is sedating its lobsters with marijuana.
The owner of Charlotte's legendary lobster pound says the marijuana is meant to lessen the lobsters pain before death.
A humane scientist says it's not clear whether pot would actually make a lobster's
death less traumatic.
Okay, first of all, I think it's really sweet how the local news totally ran with this
woman's explanation for why her entire kitchen staff smokes weed.
I mean, that was nice of them. That was really, really, really nice the way the way the way the way the way the way the way, the way, the way, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, th..... I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. A, th. A, th. A, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. A, theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeei. to. toeeeeeeee.. So, the. So, th way they did that. Like, I have a feeling, I have a feeling,
I have a feeling this is the kind of lady who tries to get everything she cooks high.
She's like, yo, potato, you need to relax, man.
You just need a relax.
And also, I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to get lobsters high before boiling them. Like, they'll be like, am I paranoid?
Is it getting hot in here?
It's getting hot, man.
It's getting hot.
All right, that's the headlines.
Let's move on to our main story.
two-eighty, they're hanging out at Starbucks, grilling in the park,
selling water on the sidewalk, or going 90 in a school zone.
Now, yeah, in my defense, I didn't notice the speed limit
because I was texting.
And, no, I know you're not supposed to text and drive, but when you're drunk, you made bad decisions.
And luckily, they can't take my license away because I don't have one.
So, as I was saying, black people get the cops called on them for no good reason.
And if you are one of the black people thinking, well, I'm just gonna run for
office and change the way America works, to you I say, think again.
In Wisconsin, police questioned an African-American woman as she was stumping for votes because someone thought she looked suspicious.
47-year-old Sheila Stubbs was campaigning last month to be her county's first black
state assembly woman.
Madison Wisconsin police say they got a 911 call about a suspicious vehicle.
The police report says the male caller, quote, thinks they are waiting for drugs
at the local drug house.
I'm sorry, the local drug house?
Who says that?
Like it makes it sound like a tourist attraction.
Oh, are you going to Madison?
You've got to visit the local drug house.
Best crack I've ever had.
The local drug house?
So Sheila Stubbs was knocking on doors to meet voters and someone called the police on her,
which is disgusting and unacceptable.
No one should be calling the cops on candidates, okay, unless it's Ted Cruz.
Like if I see Ted Cruz on the street, I'm calling 911 immediately.
And not even my street, any street.
Like that should might be legal but it's not right.
And to Sheila's credit, although this was a really traumatic experience for her, she's managed to keep a positive attitude.
As for Sheila Stubbs, she never spoke to the anonymous male who called the police
on her, but if they're listening, I want them to see that I made it. I survive. I am now, you're a
representative. She seems like such a sweet lady and I'm sure that she's being sincere, but you've got
to admit that sounds like a low-key threat.
It's like, as your new representative, my first order of business is relocating the town's potholes
to ride in front of your snitch-ass driveway.
We'll be right back.
Welcome back to a daily show.
You know, parents, parents today face more challenges than ever.
You know, protecting their kids from social media, bullying, lion attacks.
And yes, that doesn't happen in America yet, but they'll find a way over here, trust me.
So to help parents out, Desiletic returns with her recurring segment, the parent rap.
Trevor, I'm not just a parent, I'm also a mom. That's right.
Thank you, it's God's work.
But tonight, I want to talk about the problem with helicopter parenting,
because today's parents are way too overprotective.
Like yesterday, at the playground, this mom wouldn't let her kid play with mine because he was too rough.
You know, actually, I agree with you completely, Desi. Sometimes kids get hurt on the playground
and that's part of life. Yeah, exactly. But when my kid stabs another kid with a screwdriver,
suddenly I'm banned from chaperoning field trips. I'm sorry, did you say stabbed? Yeah? Desi Jr. Petsie ju-Joo-J to plays to plays to plays to plays to plays to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. the the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thea. thee. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. theotch to win. Look, the point is, parents have gotten way too fearful,
and now it's starting to ruin people's lives.
I mean, just listen to this story I heard last week that broke my heart.
A group of concerned mothers reported a man in a park in Claremont asking children if they wanted a magic wand.
Steve Coy says it was all a big misunderstanding there.
He says he has been handing out these hand-crafted wands for years.
They're colorful, shiny and meticulously crafted.
Each warown takes about a half an hour to make.
The mothers of several young children he approached, posted the encounter on the next door app.
They say his actions are inappropriate and concerning.
This makes me so mad.
A gentle artist wants to give children free toys.
And these moms call the cops on him?
I hope their husbands cheat on them with their hottest nanny.
Wow.
Wow, okay.
But, but I don't know, Desi, like, maybe we should be a little suspicious of a random man
trying to give toys to kids.
Trevor, what if we had that attitude back when Disney started? Oh, a grown man asking children to come into his big playground, filled with dark tunnels
and a giant duck who's not wearing any pants.
I won't like when you say it like that, it actually makes Walt Disney sound pretty
sketchy.
Well, yeah, but if you get to know him, the only thing that you'll find in his heart is
children's dreams and some Nazi paraphernalia.
And you won't find anything on this kindly wizard man either.
I mean, you tell me, does this sound creepy?
While they may not be able to conjure spells, Steve Koi says they do have a certain power.
I'm not rich, but the amount of pleasure I can give a human being by giving him a magic wand is precious.
I'm gonna say yeah, that sounds creepy.
He wants to pleasure kids with these magic wand.
He has so much more to offer children than that.
In addition to the wands, for 25 years, he's been handing out these.
My fun pass is what usually gets me in big trouble.
The fun pass.
The side effects include dancing, happiness, laughter and euphoria?
I mean, how can anybody go wrong with that?
See Trevor, this sweet soul just wants to give our children fun passes.
And these moms want to lock him away?
I'm sorry, I don't mean to get emotional, it's just...
I just hope all their husbands drive off a cliff with their hottest nannies.
What's up with these nannies?
Anyway, fine, Desi, you know what, maybe I'm being a little too suspicious,
and like he's just an innocent guy who wants to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make the wa to make the wa to make to make the world to make the world the world to make the world the world to make like he's just an innocent guy who wants to make the world a better fun place.
Yes, he is. Just one kid at a time. This one girl, she was like 10, I gave her a fun pass, and she was so nice.
And I said, oh my gosh, you know what? I have a magic want for you in my car. Let me go get it. You stay here. And then, but I can't give it to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you their their their their their their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t t t t t t t t t t t t t toda. t t toda. t t t toda. try. to you unless your mom says it's okay. Okay, I'm gonna say that's hella creepy.
What?
Dessie, he literally said I have a magic want for you in my car.
Yeah, but only if the mom says it's okay. That's being a gentleman.
Look, all I'm saying is if we let ourselves be ruled by fear, we'll deprive our children of any spontaneous joy.
It's just common sense parenting.
Okay, fine.
Desi, so let me ask you this.
Are you willing to take your kid to that park
and let him play with Mr. Wand?
Of course, Trevor.
As soon as I get custody back.
Desi Leic, everyone.
We'll be right back. Hey, everybody, John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show,
coming out every Thursday.
We're going to be talking about the election, earnings calls.
What are they talking about on these earnings calls?
We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.
I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out
on Thursday.
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart wherever you get your podcast.
Welcome back to the Daily Show.
My guest tonight is an actor, comedian and the creator of Tracy Ulman's show on HBO.
Please welcome, Tracy Olman!
Thank you.
Thank you.
How nice.
Thank you.
Welcome to the show.
Very nice to meet you, young Trevor.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Welcome to the show.
Very nice to meet you, young Trevor.
So exciting to meet you.
Oh, I like how you say like there was an old Trevor.
That's like, you came back in time.
Young Trevor, good to meet you.
It's so good.
It's so great.
It's so great for me to meet you because your show was really popular in South
Africa.
I always saw you.
Really?
Yeah, it was Tracy Olman something.
It's always your name.
Always put my name in the title.
Always.
No mistaking it.
And I always loved how you could perform all of these different characters.
You're back with a new season of your show on HBO.
And what I sp doing it, I'm still doing it. Hello!
When you look at what politics is now, do you find it harder to go above and beyond what's happening in reality?
It's really tricky. I never used to do this sort of political stuff.
I mean, you remember in the 80s, there was like problems like spitting image in England with puppets that had puppets of Reagan and and Maggie Thatcher and they tried that show in
America and they couldn't take it because you were making fun of the
president. They used to have Ronald Reagan walking along the wagon the president
the president's brain is missing and a little brain will
bounce how you go well well but they you couldn't do that then they they tried it in America and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I was the the I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the I was the the the the the the the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I was th was th was th is was thoe. thoe. thoe. the. I was try. I was try. I was try. trea. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. I was. I was. try. I was. I was. I was. I was. I't do that then they tried it in America and it was like, oh no You can't make fun of the president now you're making fun of everybody all the time
You used to be so sweet
Well, I first came to this country, but you're loving it though. Yeah, I love being terrace and
Teresa may he saw there
Yeah, but I've got some birds to impersonate now. I've got anguilar. I'm Angela. I'm Angela. I'm Angela. I'm the the the the the their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I......................................................................................................................ate now. I've got Angela Merkel. And Theresa May, who you saw there,
and Brigitte Macron and Nicholas Sturgeon,
and you know, there's lots for me to do.
And I do the men as well.
Angler Merkel is the one that gets me.
Because I mean, like, I get, you know,
when I see someone do the impression of that. theymea, I go, okay, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the........ to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. the. the I see her, there's not like a tick or anything. How is she? I don't know, it's like some sort of lot of stuff she just morphed her arms from here.
Just, just...
I remember years ago, I think it was George W. I think it was George W. And she went,
ugh. And I thought, you know, can you imagine being the only woman
in the room with Berlusconi and Bush and oh, what a nightmare? Cameron and so I imagine
that I don't know that she's really like, but I think that she thinks she's very sexy.
And she's sex bomb, six bomb giving off the mask. And, uh, so... So Berlusconi, then Berlusconi sees me his hair. the hair, and her, her, her, her, his the their, his their, his their, his their, his their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and her, and her, and her, and she, and she's, and she's thi, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and she's, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and she's, and, and she's, and she, and she, and she, and she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's sex bomb, six bomb giving off the mask. And so when Berlusconi sees me, his hair dye is running,
running down his face.
So I imagine, I imagine them off duty.
But I never, you know, I don't impersonate politicians because I'm incredibly political
and I'm this sort of like infuriated liberal and I hate Trump
the most and the best.
I don't.
You know, I see, I empathize, I mean I see, I'm like the poignancy and sadness in people.
What a horrible time to be Prime Minister for Theresa May.
Yes it is.
It's bad.
It's like the worst.
Like you've got the opposite side, you're trying to deal with the worst time, like you've got the Brexit, you've got, you've got Trump on the opposite side, you're trying to deal with him, you're trying to deal with what's happening
in Europe.
Yeah. The public school boys like Boris Johnson and David Cameron.
They've got to mess it all up and now they've gone to their chateaus in Norman and left
Theresa to clear in this place where you couldn't really make fun of these people,
and then you got,
That became an American.
You had characters, right, in 2006,
I think it was when you got your citizenship.
Are you American?
So you have, no, no, no, no.
Be careful.
Come again, I'm today. I became an American because I thought Dick Shaney might send me home. So you became an American to...
I just wanted to feel more secure in being able to be a part of the system and make political
jokes and I wanted to vote too, yeah.
And now when you look at the characters that pop up, are you?
Like, for instance, like you're saying, you have all of these women who you now get to impersonate in politics, in like who are really famous worldwide, like Melania Trump must have been a gift from
God.
Yeah. That's like a pure gift from God.
But I don't play her. I got a beautiful model to play her. See I know my limitations kids, you know.
I'm so sick of being a sex symbol,
I thought, you get tired of it, I thought, I'll let someone else do that. And I played the
Russian who is behind her, because I think that the millennia is a Russian thing, put
in years ago. She's like West World robot. And, but now she's like mere space station and she's old and
she needs to be dropped into the sea. So what I've put her done in my show
she's this bot that we keep having to come into the White House and
reprogram her because she's she's running out of steam and she's going wrong.
So that's my take on it because, you know, even Trevor's confused.
My show used to be a lot simpler when you were that little man in South Africa, didn't it?
I'm loving like all of the takes that you have on these people because for you to impersonate
them, what I really enjoy is you create a different world that they exist in, you create a character, like even in that clip that we saw there, it's a Teresa May who's grappling with standing up to Trump whilst at the same time being
afraid of standing up to him, trying to be perceived as a strong political leader.
So essentially when you're doing these characters, are you trying to find the human in all of them? Yeah, yeah. I mean, Theresa May is not my politics, not my sort, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, thre's, the, they. It's, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the same, is, is the same, the same, the same, to be, the same, the same, the same, the same, the same. Yeah, the same. Yeah, the same. Yeah, the, the same. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, th. th. try. try. try. try. try. th. the. the. they. they. they, and like, she just breaks my heart. She looks like a cross between Oscar Wilde and Osferato.
And did you see her dancing in Africa last week?
I mean, oh, bless her heart. Did you see it? I mean.
Oh, bless her heart. But then, somebody told her it looked terrible, so she did it again?
Is this what they told me to do?
God bless her heart.
I'm excited for this new season, specifically because I heard that you have decided to make the show
more topical.
So you started making the show, and then Trump happened, and then you went, no, we've got to
like, we've got to make everything now.
We've got to add to add to add to add to add to add the got to like, we've got to make everything now. We've got to add more Brexit, we've got to add more Trump, we've got to add.
So you're going to add things weekly, you're going to change things up?
Like, what is going to be topical that you're really enjoying about?
Well, we started shooting the show so we've to shoot extra bits, like, thrownie, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, that's like my doing my own little mini sort of Saturday Night Life thing. It's jolly exciting in
England you know. It's jolly exciting for us. Do you like, do you like, you like,
to the England? You like, you like, do you like, do you like, you try to England? I've heard of England. I've had a cappuccino, I'm speedy. adorable. You were very funny. Well, thank you very much.
I appreciate that. I love what you said that day. I really appreciate it. It was a fun wedding.
It was a fun wedding, wasn't it? Do you do any of the royal family? I do Camilla Parker Bells.
What, like, what's your advice? actually. It's awfully like that.
I think she's a wonderful, wonderful grandmother, and she takes the,
she takes the grandchildren and lets them do things like, you know,
drown kittens in barrels and shoot guns.
Do you know what I mean?
I think she's a lot of fun.
I think she's, you know.
I could literally do this all day.
I could just like shout just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, the, to, the, to, the, to, the, to, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, this all day. I could just like shout people at you and then just watch you enjoy it.
Before I let you go, I have to know
like what is your most favorite?
There's got to be like the one character
that you have always loved doing the one person
you've loved impersonating, the one voice
that like you just go to whenever you're feeling sad.
I used to be a woman bigot who lived in Hollywood. And I'll just say I was drunk and say anything I
wanted about anybody. And people like that. She was, I was so relaxed being, you
know, this woman on my head breaths down here. Nipples on the hips. And it was so
relaxing and I could say anything. I like that.
She's so American to me.
See, you've come to America to do a show like I did.
I'm just from outside.
And I notice I can see, I just love what you've done.
I love your book.
Thank you.
You are a force to be reckoned.
Thank you.
You're amazing.
I love your energy and your spirits. You've had a a thaaaaa. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I tha. I thiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thoen. I thoomom. I've tho thi. I've thoomomathea' thoomathea' thoomomomathea' to to to to to to to to to to thi, you've thi, you've thi, you've thi, you've thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoo thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. You've had a tough time.
I had a tough time.
I'm a working-class girl from England.
It's not easy.
It is a difficult thing.
Look where we are.
Look at how far we've come.
Look at how far we've come.
I'm so excited.
Thank you so much for being on the show.
Season 3 three of Tracy Olin's show, world premiere on HBO, September 28th.
Tracy Oman, everybody!
Trenner, the Daily Show with CoverNoa, Ears Edition.
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John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show.
We're going to be talking about the election, economics, ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches.
Listen to the weekly show with John Stewart, wherever you get your podcast.