The Daily Show: Ears Edition - TDS Time Machine | In the Field Pt. 2
Episode Date: December 26, 2024Revisit some of 2024's most shocking reporting from the field, from Grace Kuhlenshmidt investigating the cognitive decline on Capitol Hill, to Ronny Chieng exploring how Wisconsin got catfished, to Tr...oy Iwata trying out a rising kink: political humiliation.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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John Stewart here. Unbelievably exciting news. My new podcast, The Weekly Show.
We're going to be talking about the election economics ingredient to bread
ratio on sandwiches. Listen to The Weekly Show with John Stewart,
wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey, it's me, Michael Kosta. The Daily Show is on break for the holidays,
but in the meantime, we put together some special highlights just for you.
We'll be back in the new year on January 7th with
all new episodes. America's democracy may not be the strongest, but at least it's the oldest.
There seems to be some sort of gerontocracy. We have the oldest leaders among rich countries
We have the oldest leaders among rich countries. And we love all of them.
Joe Biden, Donald Trump, this guy.
But are there drawbacks to having our leadership with one foot in heaven?
I spoke to Mark Fisher, NeuroPolitics researcher at UC Irvine.
We know that brain function tends to deteriorate with aging.
One of the first to go of all the cognitive functions
is called executive function, it's decision-making.
And what can be more important for a political leader
than decision-making?
What am I gonna have for freaking lunch?
I'm president of the United States.
What the heck am I gonna have for lunch?
That's a hard decision.
And I hope that I have a burger for lunch.
I guess I've had this freaky misconception
that old people are wiser and smarter than me.
And it feels like what you're telling me
is that that's not true and I should never trust them.
Oh, I wouldn't say that.
I wouldn't say that.
No, I think that the experience that one gains
over the course of a lifetime, extraordinarily important.
But there are some measurable cognitive functions that do begin to decline over the course of a lifetime. Extraordinarily important. But there are some measurable cognitive functions
that do begin to decline over the age of 60.
So even though you have more experiences,
you are still getting dumber.
I'm a neurologist.
Dumb is not a word that we use.
Okay, all right.
I'll say it then, don't worry.
So having a bunch of old brains in charge
might be a bit of a problem,
but this wise old neurologist actually has a solution.
Our Neuro-Politics Center, we came out with a recommendation that cognitive testing should
be done on all politicians, not just older politicians, all politicians.
Woman, man, camera, TV.
Unsurprisingly, Trump says he aced his cognitive test already.
If you get it in order, you get extra points.
An individual is given a number of things to remember,
and then after a period of time, three to five minutes,
they're asked to repeat that.
I mean, those aren't hard things to remember, right?
Person, mama, dad.
It's only one part of the exam.
Yeah, thank God.
And by itself, it doesn't determine a whole lot.
I mean, you have to look at the entire exam.
And you have to look at someone's personality.
I mean, I have a really good personality.
Absolutely.
Thank you.
But that's not really, that's really not assessed in the Ohio University.
It doesn't need to be.
Without seeing his test results, we can only guess how well, or not well, Trump's brain
is doing.... by a lot, including Obama. I'll tell you what.
But it did make me curious, could my brain be president?
My name? Grace. My date of birth? June 30th, 1995.
This first part of the exam, this isn't scored so this is just identification material.
Okay God, I would like to be scored on those two actually if possible because I think I
got them right.
Do you have more difficulties doing everyday activities due to thinking problems?
No, I have almost nothing to do on a daily basis.
At the bottom of the very last page, right, I have finished on the blank line provided.
So this is a test of delayed recall.
Got it.
This one is so easy.
Can I call my mom to just double check?
Last question.
In the course of just a few pages, we've covered many cognitive domains.
Sir.
Did I pass?
Let's hear it, brother.
Come on.
Come on.
You got it.
Let's go. That's here, brother. Come on. Come on. You got it. Woo!
Let's go!
Woo!
Now, if only someone could go to Washington
and get our elected leaders to take this test.
OK, fine.
I'll do it.
Hello.
Hey, how you doing?
Good to see you.
You too.
My name is Grace.
I'm Maxwell.
I'm looking for a congressperson.
Well, I am a congressman.
So who does like your Botox or your work? You look incredible.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm actually 27.
Yes, most junior congressperson Maxwell Frost is the only person who would talk to me for this story.
So how would you feel about having a cognitive test required for politicians? I don't think we should have that.
Okay, why not? You worried you'd fail, dude?
What is a cognitive test?
For example, I can show you one.
Yeah.
What are these?
A rhino and a harp.
Congratulations, sir! You get to keep your position.
They told me that if you screwed this up,
that this office would be mine.
I'll be honest, I had to think for like just two seconds
about what animal that was.
Yeah, of course.
In this baby politician's view,
the issue with politics isn't old brains.
It's the lack of young ones.
I do think it's an issue that, yeah, young people aren't as represented.
I don't think we should like, boot out all the old people and just have young people
running the country.
Right.
So you're not ageist.
I'm not an ageist.
When do you feel like you would retire?
I don't know when I would retire, but I do think we need term limits.
Do you think if you stay in Congress for 34 years, you'll be able to bring Congress to
term limits?
Because of how this place works? Maybe, but my hope is we'll have it way before that.
So it's not hopeless.
We just need our young politicians to stick around until they'll be able to change the
system however long it takes.
You know what?
I think I'll vote for you.
You can't.
Why?
Because I live in Orlando.
I represent Orlando, Florida. If you move You can't. Why? Because I live in Orlando. I represent Orlando, Florida.
If you move to Orlando, though. I could go on a paid business trip to Disney World and
leave my vote there. Yeah, yeah. That's illegal too.
Trump's promise in 2016 to bring back manufacturing jobs was a major appeal in the upper Midwest.
And in Trump's first year in office, the artists of deals delivered them a masterpiece.
Foxconn will invest in southeast Wisconsin.
Electronics manufacturer Foxconn is opening
its first major US factory in Wisconsin.
Investing $10 billion of their own money to do so.
That's right, Foxconn, the Taiwan based company
that's good at making iPhones
and great at making their employees jump off buildings.
The Foxconn deal in Mount Pleasant was as golden as the shovels Trump brought to the ground-breaking.
I think we can say this is, we can say, the eighth wonder of the world.
So to learn more about this eighth wonder of the world, I spoke with Alan Young,
the business genius responsible for bringing Foxconn to Wisconsin.
Sin.
Love business. Love big business. I love great businessmen. You brought manufacturing to
Mount Pleasant. What do you love most about Wisconsin? The cheese or the high rate of
alcoholism?
It turns out Wisconsin actually, to our benefit, was the right choice. And the vision really
was to create what we call Wisconsin Valley,
the $10 billion project slated to create up to a $13,000 job.
All right, high-tech job creation.
Local country bumpkin Kelly Gallaher must be ecstatic.
Foxconn came to town.
They promised us the world.
Then they f***ed us because our village officials are morons.
Look lady, I came here to do a feel good puff piece
about foreign corporations creating jobs
for farmers or whatever, okay?
Are you telling me that's not happening?
They promised us 13,000 jobs and a $10 billion investment.
We got a few hundred crappy jobs.
We bulldozed 100 homes, moved people out,
used eminent domain against them.
And except for a few buildings that Foxconn has put there,
it's basically empty.
Well, you can't fault Foxconn for putting money
into this town and trying to make something happen.
But they didn't put money in on it.
Unfortunately, the village of Mount Pleasant decided
instead of making Foxconn buy the land
that they wanted for their factory,
our part-time village trustees,
they said, we'll do it for you.
We borrowed nearly a billion dollars.
So a bunch of village idiots borrowed a billion dollars
to get Foxconn to come in. Foxconn comes in and goes hey we can give you guys
civilization, take you out of the farms. Well we like our farms. What was Foxconn
promising to build? Well first they said they were going to build large screen
LCD TVs. Amazing, I love those. A few weeks later, they changed it that they were going to build small LCD screens,
the kinds that you get in the car.
That's cool. I love those too. I love all screens.
Then they announced that they were going to build coffee robots.
Okay, but you know what? Who doesn't like coffee?
That didn't happen either.
And right now, nobody knows what they do inside that building.
Okay.
It's 3,000 square acres of land.
Do you know how much 3,000 square acres of land is?
Of course not.
I'm not a dumb farmer.
You should really go check it out.
Fine, I will.
This simple villager wasn't making any sense.
Allen and Foxconn assured the residents of Mount Pleasant
they would be bringing a Steadia tech hub
to its barren farmland.
But instead, all Foxconn built was a bunch of roads to nowhere.
What the hell?
Two empty warehouses and a lame disco ball
in the middle of an empty field?
F***ing hell. I needed answers.
Where the hell is everybody?
I was told there's 13,000 jobs.
Yeah, sorry sir.
Just wondering, where are all the jobs at? The jobs. There's 13,000 jobs. Yeah, sorry sir. Just wondering where are the jobs at?
The jobs.
There's 13,000 jobs.
This can't be right.
And even if there aren't any jobs or products or transparency,
surely Foxconn has a plan.
I would say that over the past few years,
everybody learned a few lessons.
I think the storyline is happening,
and the story is a good one.
It really is trailblazing and making pioneering decisions even though it might not make sense.
Even though it makes absolutely no sense.
Well okay, absolutely no sense. But right now I think we're in the chapter two or chapter three
of the whole thing. Chapter 11 of the thing. Well you don't want to get there.
Well the outcome was job creation.
You really shouldn't care if you build potato chips
or microchips?
Potato chips or microchips, who cares?
Just make something.
That's what people want,
for Foxconn to make something in this factory.
It takes a village.
It takes a village to build a factory that makes nothing.
You got me there.
Allen did a great job at showing the very thin line
between genius business plan and scam.
Okay, I think I see why you're so upset.
You got catfished.
Do you know what catfishing is?
Yes, I do.
But who benefit?
Why did they do this?
If it's so bad for everybody, why did this happen?
Well, it was really Donald Trump.
Oh, here we go again.
It's the largest failed publicly funded economic development
project in Wisconsin history, possibly in U.S. history.
In true Trump fashion, he made a promise never delivered and left
someone else holding the bag.
Was there any way to turn this development disaster around?
More breaking news now.
Microsoft could be coming to Mount Pleasant.
This is a huge win for the village.
Microsoft came to town and they announced a $3.3 billion investment project and 2,000
full-time jobs.
Okay, 2,000 is quite a step down from 13,000.
But those 13,000 jobs were never real.
What are you even making there?
It's going to be an AI data center.
Wait, but that, if it's an AI center,
it's gonna take jobs.
They're gonna replace workers,
they're gonna end up with less jobs than before.
Well, it's better than nothing.
Actually, no.
Because no jobs will be zero.
This will be negative jobs
because it'll be taking other people's jobs.
All I know is that these are 2000 real jobs.
God damn villages is jobs man.
You guys talk about anything else here?
In business not everything turns out the way you want it to but hey with a little ingenuity
and some American can-do spirit you too could turn 13,000 jobs into 2000 and put your whole
village into debt.
Great job. Hey everybody, John Stewart here. in 2000 and put your whole village into debt. We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out
on Thursday?
Listen to The Weekly Show with Jon Stewart wherever you get your podcasts.
There is no doubt that this election is exhausting, infuriating and divisive.
You're not going to lock up my prison!
U.S. bitch!
But to some, the endless cycle of insults and partisan attacks might actually be a turn-on?
That's right. The hottest new fetish is political humiliation.
And this correspondent is ready to dive in to see if political shaming is the new sexy.
To find out more about this niche fetish, I traveled to the top spot for political shaming is the new sexy. To find out more about this niche fetish,
I traveled to the top spot for political shaming,
Tampa, Florida, to speak to two of the top specialists
in the field, goddess Vivian Lee,
a dominatrix who specializes in humiliating liberals,
and goddess Brandon.
All have small penises.
A dominatrix who specializes in shaming conservatives
using her popular personas, Iv Ivanka Trump and Laura Hobart
When did you notice that people were asking for this political shaming?
I put up my first video when Trump first went into office
I had this terrible blonde wig that started off with Ivanka
They got a lot of exposure and they just blew up
Especially on my phone lines. Request started rolling in from there
and I just kind of leaned into it and kept going with it.
So do you think that Trump played a huge part
in the growth of this need?
Oh, absolutely, it didn't exist before him.
And I don't think it would really exist without him.
Right, I mean, who knew that 80-year-old men
can make people so horny?
Oh, I would count on that to pay my bills.
Mm-hmm.
So what do conservatives want to be sexually humiliated about? I'd definitely focus on Oh I would count on that to pay my bills. So what do conservatives want to
be sexually humiliated about? I definitely focus on what I would consider
to be like the sensitive subjects like race-based topics, feeling inadequate to
black men and wanting that maybe rubbed in their face a little bit. Gay
temptation, the fact that a lot of them have issues with like women of power. So
what are you saying? Are you saying that rich white men are insecure?
And what turns on liberals?
American anything camo guns.
They go absolutely insane for the Confederate bikini.
We often end up discussing a certain politician's part.
Who's the popular one?
Trump's c***.
Right. Sometimes it's daddy to Santa's dick.
It was time to find out firsthand
what to expect from a political
humiliation session.
So ring ring.
Hello.
Hello, Troy.
How are you?
Tell me about you.
I am a news anchor.
No, no I'm a little sissy liberal bitch
and I'm calling for you to tell me
I'm gonna vote for Daddy Trump.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm...
That was a long line that you gave me.
I'm very conservative as is my penis.
Stupid, stupid penis.
You know what I think you need?
What do I need? A strap on. Oh. That know what I think you need? What do I need?
A strap on.
Oh. That's what I think you need.
Like a fanny pack?
A big fanny pack.
What's in the fanny pack?
Penises.
Real penises?
I'm gonna put you in a cute little American flagged diaper
and a Trump t-shirt
and best little mega hat a boy could wear.
Hot.
Yeah, I have a big fanny pack of penises on my head
and I hate drag queens.
They're ruining the world with their fun.
You're just trying to mind your own straight business
and these temptations are everywhere.
You were once entitled to a wife.
Yeah. And now all of these fems running around deciding not to marry white
incel men, it's crap. They need wives and mommies.
Say thank you daddy. Thank you daddy. For letting me vote for Trump. For letting me vote for Trump.
It's hard to be a straight guy.
Do you think that those involved get more knowledge on their own and opposing political views because of your services?
I do. I think that I inspire them to want to at least look something up.
I mean, their penises are in their hands.
I guess it would be awesome if you could take a step back and think to yourself like,
hmm, are my thoughts and opinions
Obnoxious and hateful. Well, I mean you're dealing with shame. So maybe you have changed them, but they're ashamed
They're just not gonna tell me exactly quietly shamed. I needed to understand more about this fetish from a psychological standpoint
So I brought sex expert
Dr. Justin Lee Miller to the Museum of Sex to make him feel at home, and ask if he knew why this fetish was the one thing
that crossed the political aisle right now.
There's some trauma connected to our politics.
And something that happens in our fantasies
is that it provides us opportunity to take control
of a previous trauma.
So there can be something empowering
about taking something like shame or humiliation
and then having complete control over it.
There's also some sort of humanizing element that happens when people engage in this kind of kinky behavior.
People can tap into deeper elements and aspects of the self.
Do you think that this fetish could help the country come together? No pun intended.
I don't have any data that could necessarily say that's the case.
Okay. We's the case. Okay.
We need the data.
And since there is no official data on this topic, it's up to me to do the research.
To find out if political humiliation is the solution to America's problems just in time
for the election.
I really batched me more of a purple-
That's too hard.
Okay.
I don't know if I'm a slut boy for that policy or that policy.
If you can just let me speak, let me finish.
What is your point?
Because you've been going in circles. Did my data result in a fix for the election?
No.
Was I turned on?
I'm not sure.
You know what, maybe I should just vote independent.
What?!
Emotions have been running high, but I'm absolutely not sure what you think about this.
Okay, actually, you know what, we might be getting some words that this but I guess no matter what happens in November in
this country there will always be plenty of shame.
Everybody John Stewart here.
I am here to tell you about my new podcast, The Weekly Show.
It's going to be coming out every Thursday.
So exciting.
You'll be saying to yourself, TGID.
Thank God it's Thursday.
We're going to be talking about all the things that hopefully obsess you in the same way
that they obsess you in the same way that they obsessed me the election
economics earnings calls
What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're gonna be talking about
ingredient to bread ratio on
sandwiches and
I know that I listed that fourth but in importance, it's probably second.
I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go,
but how many of them come out on Thursday?
I mean, talk about innovative.
Listen to The Weekly Show with John Stewart
wherever you get your podcasts.