The Daily Show: Ears Edition - The Housing Market - If You Don’t Know, Now You Know
Episode Date: March 29, 2022Why has it become so hard to buy a home in America? If you don’t know, now you know. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privac...y information.
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You're listening to Comedy Central.
For decades, owning a home has been one of the core parts of the American dream, just below
dating Pete Davidson.
But right now, actually buying a home is harder than Matt Gates watching the
news saved by the bell.
With the housing market red hot, prospective buyers are trying not to get burned as demand
so so try and told.
Home price is rising at their highest rate in 15 years and demand so intense that
Redfin reports nearly half of homes are selling within a week of hitting the market.
Prospective home buyersyers in astronomical bidding wars, homes vanishing from listings hours after being posted.
You go to an open house, there could be 50 cars in a line outside waiting to see that property.
People are so desperate that they'll court favors, get potential sellers, tickets to rare events.
Even houses with notorious histories are selling.
This is the 100-year-old Mediterranean-style home in LA
where the Charles Manton family murdered Leno and Rosemary Labianca in 1969,
but in today's market it was snapped up from $1.8 million.
Okay, okay, okay, I know what you're thinking right now.
Why on earth would you buy that house?
Someone was murdered there.
Yeah, exactly.
Someone has already been murdered there.
What are the odds it'll happen again?
I mean, I'd sleep like a baby in that place.
But seriously, people, the housing market has gotten crazy in America. I mean, some people are buying a house. tha, okay, okay, okay, okay, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoomom. thooo thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoan, thoooan, thoooo crazy in America. I mean, some people are buying a house just hours after it's posted online.
A house! Hours!
Meanwhile, I read reviews for six months before I finally decide which water bottle to buy.
Now that I think about it, I should have gotten a blue one.
But the question is, why has it become so hard to buy a home in America?
Well, let's find out why. In another installment of, if you don't know, now you know.
It's kind of a perfect storm of many different factors.
When it comes to why the housing market has gotten so insane lately, it's kind of a perfect
storm of many different factors.
You've got not enough homes being built
to keep up with the population growth.
You've got historically low mortgage rates,
so more people can buy houses.
And then on top of that, more people
are able to work from home.
So they're leaving the city for the suburbs.
Where maybe, yes, there's not as much excitement,
but you and your spouse have way more space to murder your neighbors. But it turns out there's something else driving up demand for homes,
and that's who is competing for them more than ever before.
Starting with the guys who tend to ruin everything.
Wall Street.
With home prices soaring to record highs, there are mounting questions about the billions of dollars big financial firms are pouring into the market and pricing out some would-be buyers. Blackstone has been on the
single-family home buying rampage. It began late last year going head-to-head
with other major Wall Street players. Large financial firms, often backed by
private equity, buy up and rent out single-family homes. The companies
typically use computer algorithms to identify desirable property
so they can bid quickly. They're very aggressive. Their offers come in all cash. They come
in sight unseen. So as soon as the house hits the market, you got an offer from them. Okay? And
they're ready to close within a few days. There's about 25 to 35 percent of the houses in
this neighborhood are owned by Wall Street landlords. One of them is invitation homes which owns more than 12,000 single-family houses in the
Atlanta area and nationwide more than 81,000. Three other large firms own more
than 100,000 homes combined. One of them just announced a 5 billion dollar fund
to buy more. Okay, okay I know what you're thinking right now. Why on earth would we allow Wall Street to mess with the housing market?
They caused the housing crisis.
Yeah, exactly.
They already caused a housing crisis.
What are the odds that happens again?
Not sleep like a baby in that place.
But yes, Wall Street is now buying up tons of homes all across America.
Because what better way to fix your image problem than to become the nation's biggest
landlord, I guess.
And regular people, regular people try to buy homes, well, they don't have much of a chance
going up against Wall Street.
I mean, Wall Street usually has more money.
That's kind of their whole thing.
Your only hope is to like try and distract them by asking how their their then by the time they're done answering, you'll be an escrow. But it turns out there's another group. There's another group that's driving
up prices and they're not bankers. Yeah, it's not evil greedy bankers. In fact,
it's your mom. There is a generational fight that's playing now and partially to
blame for more expensive home prices. You've got 90 million million millennials, largest generation in US history, storming the marketplace
and really looking for that dream of home ownership to start building well through owning
their own property.
So we have millennials aging into their home buying years.
Baby boomers, meanwhile, are healthier, they're living longer and they want to age
in place.
They're all competing for the same smaller houses.
Baby boomers are looking to downsize, while millennials and Gen Xers are looking to buy smaller entry-level homes.
So many baby boomers are active in the housing market
that it's become much more difficult
for millennials to buy a house.
In general, boomers have a lot more money to outbid them.
That's right.
Boomers are dominating the housing market, and... There's an eight-hour Beatles movies, their their their b b b b b b b b b, the housing market and there's an eight-hour Beatles movie on TV.
Who, they live in their best lives, what's left of them.
Because you know this sucks for us millennials.
This wasn't the plan, okay?
You boomers were supposed to get old, then we would sell all your shit and move
you into a nursing home where you get all the jello and geriatric hand jobs that you want,
and then we take your house. That was the deal! You guys get to destroy the planet.
We get the wreck rooms, damn it! So with private equity squeezing them on the
one side and their parents on the other, young people in particular are in a difficult when it comes to buying a home and their to'n' tr-o'n'e'n'n't their their their their their their their their their their their their their of. And their of. And their of. And their their their their own. their own. their their own. their their their their their thea'e. their their their their their. their their their their their their their their home. their home. their their home. their home. their their home. their their their. their. their. their. theirof. theirof. theirof. theireckeckeckeckeckeckeckeckeckecklea. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. thea. tree. te. te. te. thea. thea. thea. thea'e. sticks and mud and join book clubs with squirrels or get really creative.
A new trend hitting the housing market.
Millennials are teaming up with their friends to buy their dream home together.
For a lot of these new homeowners doing this is the only way they're able to afford
a home.
A growing number of young Americans are abandoning cities and flocking to the suburbs, finding their cheap
dream homes in far-flung places.
More millennials are buying fixer-uppers.
A big draw for young buyers.
Fixer-uppers are often cheaper.
Sometimes they go for as little as $20,000.
Where are they finding these gyms?
Well, leave it to millennials to do their house shopping on Instagram.
On a page called cheap old houses. Why do you think millennials are so attracted to cheap old houses?
It's cheap and it's home. You know sometimes reporters us the dumbest questions.
Why do millennials love crappy old houses that nobody else wants?
Because it's the only option. It's like asking me in grade school.
Trevor, why do you love sitting by yourself at lunchtime? What draws you to a life of spending recess with your
imaginary friends? I mean, do you know how hot it is to buy houses off Instagram?
You gotta slip into the house's DMs? Yo, does the carpet match the drapes?
No, for real, I need to know if the carpet matches the drapes. I can't afford to buy a new drapes, so I th. So I the the the the the the the th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thoe, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thrape, thrape, I tho, tho-I tho-I tho-I thrape, thrape, thrape, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thrace. thracea, thracea, thr-s is thr-s. thr-s. thr-s. thr-s. throoooooooooooooooooooo'n's thracea, th to know if the carpet measures the drapes, I can't afford to buy a new drapes, so I just need to know, man, I've got a budget.
So that's where we are right now.
Thanks to Boomer's and Wall Street, owning a home may soon no longer be the American dream.
The good news is, if you wait around long enough, it. We turn now to Desi Leidick.
Desi, I understand that you've been looking for a house recently.
Is that correct?
Yes, I have.
I had a two-bedroom apartment, but it's just too small with three kids running around.
Oh, I don't know you have three kids.
I don't know whose kids they are. They just showed up one day and they wouldn't leave so I had to. I'm sorry to hear that Desi. So how has your house search gone? Ugh, it was rough at first.
I mean demand is high, people are desperate. The open houses get mad if you take all the cookies,
but thanks to a little outside the box thinking I finally found the place of my dreams.
Wow, Dizzy, it actually looks amazing. Yeah, yeah, it is.
It's got a chef's kitchen, walk-in closets,
five washer dryers for all the cult members, and a rain shower.
I'm sorry, wait, wait, wait, what was that last part?
The rain shower?
No, no, do you say a cult?
Did you join a cult?
Okay. Yeah, look, I know what you're thinking, but let me tell you what, if you want a house in this economy,
your best option is the blessed door of our God King Craig.
I mean, why pay half your salary for a three-bedroom house when for free you can live in a 75-bedroom compound,
and it comes with a home gym, and a breakfast nook for a daily diet of hot dogs and smores?
They only feed you hot dogs and smores? Yes, but the hot dogs are inside the smores.
It prepares your body to merge with your future robot host, or something.
I don't know, I don't actually believe in any of this.
What I do believe in is bathrooms, and this place has 50.
Desi, I don't think a large house is worth submitting yourself to a cult.
I mean, does this Craig guy even know that you're just doing this for the housing? I don't know why don't you ask
him yourself. Craig come meet Trevor. No no no no no please no no I...
The day of judgment is upon us Trevor Noah. Join my flock on the full moon of
our final suicide orgy. I'll have it next to the heated swimming pool.
I'm sorry what? You've got a heated swimming pool?
Yo, that shit is dope!
What?
I know, right?
Come down in the suicide orgy and check it out.
Come on now.
We can leave before the suicide.
Yeah.
All right, yeah, I'll see you guys there.
Thank you so much, Desi and God King, Craig.
Yes, yes. Desi and God king, Craig.
Thanks, guys. God King Craig. Yes, yes, Desian God King Craig. Thanks guys Watch the Daily Show weeknights at 11 10 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus
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